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 Author Thread: Do any women have any thoughts on my profile?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do any women have any thoughts on my profile?
Posted: 3/14/2017 8:31:13 PM
Still interested in reviews.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do any women have any thoughts on my profile?
Posted: 3/13/2017 9:40:14 PM
New profile...what do you think?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Restaurants for dinner on dates
Posted: 3/4/2017 11:41:10 AM

women like having an excuse to dress up.


They do??? I'd give them LOTS of excuses. All of the women I date want only very casual. Could I ask if there was a certain personality trait about her that caused her to have that preference? Maybe I need to look for the same trait.


I remember thinking that Olive Garden was at least "slightly upscale"


Yes, I do remember that, very well. It used to be in a niche, somewhere not quite as upscale as a Ruth Chris', but more upscale than Fridays. The tables had tablecloths, the interiors were decorated a little more than now, and there was Italian music playing low in the background. It was casual, but definitely more romantic than it is today. Now, it's more of a bistro atmosphere, competing head-to-head with Friday's or Outback, in terms of atmosphere, instead of having their own niche.

Maybe once they acquired or started the Capital Grille they were trying to differentiate the experience, but I think they went a little bit too far.


The women who posted in that thread seemed to think that Olive Garden was equal in all respects to McDonalds.


That is someone who either does not like Italian food, or like THEIR menu, or maybe remember the Olive Garden the way it was and were put out by the changes they made to the experience. It's obviously an exaggeration. There's nothing wrong with not liking the Olive Garden or never going there.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Types of First dates you have been on
Posted: 3/4/2017 2:42:48 AM
The concept of the "first meet" really only became the norm within the last 10 years, 15 max, as best I can tell. I am in agreement with you, I generally prefer the conventional "first date" to the first meet then the first date, although if it's important to the other person I do respect that and go along with it. Yes, it does get old, as the first meet does nothing more than put the face with the messages. I feel you learn more of what makes that person tick, their interests, their interactions with others, in a truer light on a first date, like you described. In a few isolated instances, though, the "first meet" was convenient, like one time that comes to mind, I had to be in the immediate area of the other person's work, so we got a quick lunch during her lunch hour. I feel that if I'm going to make the effort to meet her, then a regular date for an evening makes more sense.

If I may digress to share personal experience, that comes back to your question, I tend to feel a lot like a demo car that gets test driven a lot but never gets a permanent owner, meaning a lot of 1 or 2 or 3 dates, then done. A lot of women seem to want an instant relationship, and when it doesn't happen they drop off before we have a real chance to get to know each other. The first meet maybe is a way of speeding that process up. People only seem to care about getting what they want immediately or sooner anymore, disregarding peoples' feelings. Maybe that's a factor.

I hope that helps. I'll be happy to expand if you have any further questions regarding my points.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Restaurants for dinner on dates
Posted: 3/4/2017 2:17:28 AM
My questions can apply to first dates, dates in committed relationships, dates for married couples, and everything in between.

Let's say your date suggests a restaurant and uses the phrase "upscale casual" to describe it. What comes to mind? What do you expect for interior decor, tables, etc? What would you wear to such an establishment? Basically, how do you perceive a restaurant described as "casual fine dining"?

How would you answer if "casual fine dining" is used to describe it?

What if "fancy but not formal" is used?

I've used the incorrect terminology in the past and caught dates off guard, so I am hoping to learn what most people would perceive different descriptions. Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 11/10/2015 10:29:04 AM
I seem to be giving the wrong impression. I tried using photographs instead of words hoping to be more clear, but that didn't seem to work. Some are looking at just a few, or not reading the explanation associated with each group of photographs, and coming to judgments based upon incomplete information, so I will try words.

It's actually NOT that I want a woman to wear only a certain narrow set of attire. I would never tell a woman what to wear or not to wear, nor can I even bring myself to say that a certain article of clothing does not look right. All I can do is compliment when something looks nice.

In reality, it's actually a very narrow list that I canNOT stand. One of these is flip flops, which I once did not think of as "ugly", but I am quite sick of them now. Then, I am constantly reminded that they ARE wearing this article of footwear that looks bad, by the soles slapping their heels as they walk. Flip flops look SO bad, at this point, that an outfit that would look awesome otherwise, even with another type of equally casual sandal, itself looks terrible now just because of the flip flips. I cannot bring myself to communicate this to anyone.

Even worse, actually, is blue jeans (or blue denim shorts). These are just plain ugly!!! Other colors of jeans (or denim shorts) look good, as do blue other styles of pants (or shorts), and even blue denim skirts, but just not that one specific color of that one specific style of bottom. Even with cute heels and a blouse, that otherwise would look awesome, the blue jeans are SO bad that, like the flip flops (and even more so), they make the entire rest of the outfit bad. Again, I cannot bring myself to communicating this. Even tan jeans, or black jeans, or any other color, with sneakers and a t-shirt, looks worlds better than blue jeans with dressy pumps and a blouse.

If I may put a single link in here, from yesterday's post:

http://www.theshoppingmama.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Eyelet-Tee-Distressed-Denim-Shorts-Cognac-Clutch-Cognac-Wedges-Loft-Gap-J.Crew-8.png

This outfit looks totally bad, 100% on account of the blue denim shorts, but would look quite awesome, actually, if the denim shorts were simply another color.

I seem to be having a problem communicating the idea that outfits involving a tiny number of attire pieces look bad no matter what they do otherwise.

As for the restaurants, I have gotten, for a while, largely based upon the posts here, that "fine dining" is a narrower set of restaurants than what I have included. The correct vocabulary seems to be "upscale casual", or "casual fine dining".
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 11/9/2015 6:46:49 PM
It seems as though I have given the impression that I am focusing only on the first date. I am actually thinking more (though not exclusively) of later dates, like *after* the first *few*. I can respect, by the way, not wanting to dress to the nines on a first date, but I would think that basically everyone would want to look nice.

None of the photographs are from teen websites. They do not post photographs of models under age 18, most are in their 20s.

My age range is wider than most, I have to admit. I would date someone as young as, say, 28, and as old as, say, 46.

What I am wondering about from here forward isn't totally about restaurants. My question at this point, is why do women seem to revert back to the attire such as in the six in the bottom group, and make an effort to avoid even casual attire like the five in the center group? If that group is casual attire, why the effort to avoid that?

Note, I deliberately made a point of using examples that do not involve heels or pantyhose, given that many women do not enjoy dressing up on that basis alone. I can completely respect this. Yet, the same women will wear heels with blue jeans, by choice, while at the same time avoiding flats, or casual footwear, without pantyhose, with something *else* casual. Why the avoidance of outfits like the center five if they are casual and not dressed up?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Never Done Casual Before - How to Try?
Posted: 11/9/2015 5:19:57 PM
There are options when searching that allow you to specify casual dating, hang out, etc. Indicate this on your own profile, and search only for women who are seeking the same. The mismatch will occur if communicating with a woman who is seeking longer term. You are not wrong in what you want. You don't have to have sex. Just look for a woman who enjoys similar interests and things to do as you. Right now, you are looking for a woman to share fun time with; there are women on here seeking the same.

There is no need to withdraw. If you can go out and have a good time, and show someone else a good time, it sounds like a match to me, as you both get what you want.

Nothing wrong with that.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 11/9/2015 5:05:21 PM
I'm hoping I can follow up with this after my absence.

While I don't consider any of these outfits to be "formal", would you consider these outfits to still be casual, or would you consider any of these to be a little dressy, or even bordering on.

http://assets0.chictopia.com/photos/Muffins_and_cashmere/6015067508/burnt-orange-jacket-black-pants-burnt-orange-flats-blouse-belt.jpg

https://sequinsandsweets.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/020.jpg

http://images0.chictopia.com/photos/FrankieFashion/6531313863/vintage-gucci-bag-pour-la-victoire-flats-wyton-skirt-bustier-urban-outfitt_400.jpg

http://cdn9.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/medium/2012/05/03/2171624_00Ariadna2.jpg?1336071732

http://images2.chictopia.com/photos/petiteavenue/9546416036/asos-dress-ralph-lauren-shirt-jimmy-choo-flats_400.jpg

http://cdn12.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/large/2011/09/18/1576423_IMG_4972-horz.jpg?1316346556

To refresh your memory, or for background, I used to think of the outfits that follow as casual yet borderline dressy, but you all felt that they are clearly casual and definitely not dressy.

http://cdn12.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/medium/2010/07/19/700659_4c44ba0343d25.jpg?1367296228

http://images2.chictopia.com/photos/JamieRose/5282165940/white-forever-21-shirt-black-forever-21-skirt-white-keds-shoes-pink-disney_400.jpg

http://cdn12.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/medium/2014/05/05/3743547_OOTD5_5_2014_(3).jpg?1399332328

http://www.ashnfashn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/sundress4.jpg

http://smalltownbigwardrobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/IMG_5315.jpg

You all were extremely helpful so far, so much so that I have to ask about something I am wondering about now as a result. Because these outfits are unanimously (so far) seen as casual, why do women (at leas the ones I have dated) so set on avoiding this casual attire, but seemingly wanting to revert back to outfits like these as casual:

http://cyndispivey.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/IMG_9327.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/06/11/2B23BAA700000578-3186820-image-a-12_1438856151965.jpg

https://wearonearth.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/dsc012341.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EiYuFY3WolI/Uy50DoYySeI/AAAAAAAADUo/E8R8PCMCp18/s1600/e0e8df2ed79d51c66cd3d8a5fe92355c.jpg

http://cdn11.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/large/2015/02/12/4312730_a_trendy_life-botas_ugg-gorro_con_pompon-speedy_louisvuitton-2.jpg?1423734516

http://www.theshoppingmama.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Eyelet-Tee-Distressed-Denim-Shorts-Cognac-Clutch-Cognac-Wedges-Loft-Gap-J.Crew-8.png

To note, most of the six outfits above (individually) would look okay if the flip flops were replaced with another type of very casual sandal (in the first three), or the blue jeans were replaced with another type of casual pant, including jeans simply in a different color (in the second three).

My basic question here is, why do women, especially on dates, want to bring their attire all the way down to the six above instead of the casual attire like the five in the center group of links?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 9/15/2015 5:32:25 PM

After reading your responses I really believe your definition of fine dining differs with the majority of the ladies in this thread.


Yes. I see that my vocabulary has been off. The funny thing is, most everyone I have dated have seen things the same.

From what I have read, fine dining more or less means formal or semi-formal only, jacket required, or at least "appropriate attire". I have been including some casual restaurants in my definition. Plus, I have been misusing "dressing up" to include some casual attire. It is not too often that I suggest restaurants that require dressing up in the formal sense.

That brings up another issue that I need to think about, the idea that many of my dates keep reverting back to casual as in the four photos in #16, that they don't want to "dress up" to something like the original five photos. Perhaps that is a future thread.


Surely you can see a difference between what a 26 yr old young lady likes/dislikes, what she likes to wear, etc. and a mature 44 yr old woman. The older woman likes /dislikes something completely different. She most often dresses differently.


Yes. the 26 year old's dressy may be a different outfit than the 44 year old's dressy, but dressy is still dressy and casual is still casual, and there are still different degrees of casual. The same issue comes up across the spectrum.


My idea of dressing up is a nice pair of jeans and a decent shirt. That's the way it is.......


...just like most of the people I have dated, though it seems from the responses on here that such is the minority. That just brings up the question, why do I end up dating only that small slice? Obviously not a question that can be answered here, but just saying.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 9/15/2015 10:21:50 AM
Ladyinred, I didn't realize that I ignored your question. I apologize, and will be more direct here.

I do not seek younger women to the exclusion of women close to my age; my age range is basically 26 or 27 up to maybe 44 or 45, so yes some of the women I date are younger than me.

I know fashion is different across that spectrum; I didn't put those outfits up to imply those exact outfits specifically, the point is, I was using "dressed up" to include not only dressy outfits but also outfits as casual as the five in my original post. Seeing now that laypeople consider those outfits to be casual starts to clear that up, but we can agree that they are *less* casual than the four links in my later post.


I also suspect you do not ask her or give fair warning to your date, as to where you are taking her, so she could prepare appropriately.


Actually, I do. I thought I indicated in my original post that, after time, when I suggest something that is not very, very casual, they keep asking for re-suggestions until one of them is like that, and we *never* go to a less casual establishment. I am starting to see, based upon the responses here, that I have been incorrectly using "fine dining" to include top-tier casual, and "dressing up" to include attire like the five photos in my original post.

Most of my dates have enjoyed the food at the higher end casual restaurants we have gone to, the point is they have eventually wanted only the most casual, most often for the purpose of avoiding "dressing up" like the first five, wanting ONLY to dress as causally as the second four. Some have said so. This has been the frustration, planning activities around clothing.

Mowtowncowgirl wrote:

what??? the woman does things 100% your way until she wants to do something different, THEN you say that she's asking you "to set aside one of your interests" and act like somebody is taking something away from you. that's actually the exact opposite of compromise, but I don't think it registers in that brain of yours because you're too busy feeling put out.


I know I indicated the opposite in my original post. Upon first dating someone, when we share our interests, I do indicate that I prefer less casual restaurants, though most of the time not the most formal. Most indicate that they like some nicer restaurants, but not to the exclusion of the most casual. I do not find this to be unreasonable. I do suggest very casual restaurants when it's my turn to suggest, I do not suggest casual-elegant type restaurants every time or most of the time if this is the case. I have no problem compromising in that way. What eventually happens is, we go to nicer restaurants 0% of the time and very casual 100% of the time, yet I have never insisted on going to nicer restaurants 100% of the time, or even 75% of the time. The 50/50 gets lost. It's often because attire like the original five becomes "too dressy".

I hope that last paragraph makes sense.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 9/14/2015 7:54:16 PM
Cynthia, I just looked at every one of your links, they have been quite helpful.

Yes, that is what I think of for a more formal establishment, none of the five photos in my original post would be appropriate for that type for that type of restaurant, though the fourth and fifth ones approach it. Basically, those five photos are the "minimum" that I consider to be "dressed up", though I don't consider them to be too casual, either.

My frustration comes with the idea that many of my dates, after a while, have wanted to avoid the nicer casual restaurants I suggest in favor of the most casual, specifically so they can stay with the outfits like the four in my post immediately before this one, they want to avoid "dressing up" even like the first five.

I actually can understand, to a certain extent, not wanting to do another activity when dressed for dinner like Cynthia's links, but are the original five too "dressed up" to do something else in addition to dinner?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 9/14/2015 7:25:12 PM
Thanks for the last 4 posts. Perhaps the fog can start to clear.

Any of those outfits are easily dressy enough for most of the restaurants I suggest, since again most restaurants are not formal or even semi-formal to begin with. The typical restaurant I pick is less casual than the Olive Garden (for comparison), don't "require" semi-formal attire, but blue jeans would be too casual. Does that make sense? That seems upscale to me; they *can* be appropriate even for semi-formal, yet the most casual is too casual to be appropriate.

If I could ask, what vocabulary would you recommend to distinguish the degree of casual in my original post from the degree of casual in these photographs?

http://cdn11.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/large/2015/02/12/4312730_a_trendy_life-botas_ugg-gorro_con_pompon-speedy_louisvuitton-2.jpg?1423734516

http://cdn11.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/large/2014/06/23/3852382_20140623_164944.jpg?1403562086

http://manrepeller.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Khakis-and-Ts-Leandra-Man-Repeller-18.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/23/d1/35/23d135e3c6e654dc338b04ed86773a8d.jpg
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 9/14/2015 5:58:41 PM
Who said anything about heels?

Flats look just as nice, and I was not thinking of anything on the level of matching a suit and tie. I found a few photographs on the internet, the links to which I included in my original post. None of those outfits include heels.

This is the type of thing I am attempting to understand. For example, with me, dress pants are no harder to put on than blue jeans. Is it harder for women? I'm not criticizing, I'm trying to learn what it's like for women. There obviously is something I don't understand.

Speaking of heels, I often see heels and blouses with blue jeans, with no complaints. I'd like to learn why that is often the choice, over a dressier pant, or khakis, or a different color jean, with casual footwear and top.

Do you not consider the photos in my original post dressed up? If the term "dressed up" implies something dressier than I will need to clarify.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Women's opinions requested: Fine dining on dates
Posted: 9/14/2015 2:54:07 PM
Is there something I do not understand about women, or am I just unluckily encountering the wrong women? Or, could I just be miscommunicating?

A major interest of mine on dates -- and I do mention this in my profiles -- is fine dining; not usually at black tie formal restaurants, as very few are like that, but upscale, or casual-elegant, if any of those words make sense. For some, to note, casual attire is “allowed”, but business-casual that approaches semi-formal is most appropriate.

Whenever it’s my turn to suggest a date activity, I try to suggest a mix of casual (for which I would suggest one like the Olive Garden, including at times the Olive Garden itself) and the somewhat upscale I referred to above. I do realize that I enjoy this more than most, so I am happy to compromise. I have suggested casual at some times when I myself wanted finer.

What I keep running in to is this: Initially, for a while, there seems to be no problem, but after a period of time my dates want very casual restaurants only, reason being not wanting to wear nice attire. Basically, I am being asked to set aside an interest of mine so that she can get away with wearing only certain articles of clothing. This is what I do not understand the most – planning activities around clothing – and where I am seeking some enlightenment from some women on here. Why does the compromising eventually cease to be a two way street?

In some cases, they don’t want to go to the restaurant itself because they want to avoid “proper attire” altogether, and in other cases they won’t do the nicer restaurant on the same date as some other activity. Am I missing something here?

I’ll be more specific here than I would ever be with a date, in case it’s a simple misperception of “dressed up”, I will include links to some outfits that I consider to be dressed up for dinner at a somewhat nicer restaurant, even though many fashionistas would consider these outfits to be casual.

http://cdn12.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/medium/2010/07/19/700659_4c44ba0343d25.jpg?1367296228

http://images2.chictopia.com/photos/JamieRose/5282165940/white-forever-21-shirt-black-forever-21-skirt-white-keds-shoes-pink-disney_400.jpg

http://cdn12.lbstatic.nu/files/looks/medium/2014/05/05/3743547_OOTD5_5_2014_(3).jpg?1399332328

http://www.ashnfashn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/sundress4.jpg

http://smalltownbigwardrobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/IMG_5315.jpg

Am I not understanding something, or does “dressing up”, to you, mean something much dressier than these?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Do any women have any thoughts on my profile?
Posted: 11/6/2012 5:46:03 PM
Women, what do you think when you read my profile? What do you like? What do you not like? How am I coming across? Does anything need to be expanded? Am I unclear on any points? Do any women have any suggestions?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
To moderators: Why did my forum thread disappear?
Posted: 10/9/2012 4:58:24 PM
Hello, moderators:

I started a thread in the Dating and Love Advice section earlier today, and got a few responses back. I just logged on to check for more responses, but found my thread was gone, and I cannot figure out why.

Could someone check into this and let me know. The question I asked is something that has been bothering me.

Thanks in adnance.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Women's advice requested on how to express my desire to go slow
Posted: 9/18/2011 6:01:10 PM

It is very important that during this time when you are going slowly you do not have a physical relationship with her, you tell her to keep dating other men and you let her know that you are just friends. If you make those things clear, you should not have any problem.


That thought actually crossed my mind, perhaps instead of calling it friendship, calling it non-exclusive dating. The thing is, that also seems to have negative connotations.

Two different women have told me over the years have told me that I have some qualities that they have been looking for, but they decided to go with this other guy, even though they are not completely what they are looking for, because they will be in a romantic relationship. Which I was allowing to happen with me.

I don't understand what a few extra months matters in the realm of a life partner of 50, 60, 70 years or more.

Perhaps I should also mention that I was five years old when my father was my age. If I sit here and constantly dwell on it, then yes, that does bother me. I simply make a conscious decision to not dwell on it. Seriously, I am perfectly okay with the idea that it just wasn't my time.

I do, in fact, have a few reasons why I want to take things slow. Ideally, I'd like to date more than one woman for a while with no physical relationship. I'm not big on hard and fast schedules, but would six months seem reasonable if there was one I find myself taking a liking to?

The point is, if I date more than one woman at a time for a while, I can be more sure of making a good decision. In all honesty, I've never dated two or more women at the same time, so I've figured out over time that that had to have had something to do with my poor judgement.

Any thoughts on this post as well?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Women's advice requested on how to express my desire to go slow
Posted: 9/18/2011 9:22:11 AM
You all have given me a lot to think about. I will have some responses once I have the chance to digest it, so I will be back on here posting replies.

For now, I jsut had an idea. If it is a reproductive issue with women, do you think I would have better luck, possibly, if I looked a little older, say in the 40-45 year old age range? When I do searches I set 45 as my maximum age anyway, would I be better off setting 40 or 41 as my minimum?

On the flipside, from the perspective of a 45 or 46 or 47 year old woman, is a 37 year old man too young, typically?

Do any women (especially in their 40s) have any thoughts on this suggestion specifically, in addition to my original post generally?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Women's advice requested on how to express my desire to go slow
Posted: 9/16/2011 7:47:57 PM

More important than looks, age, or distance? Than kindness? More important than compatibility in other ways?


I see what you were thinking, but I still have to say yes, because women have broken off potential relationships after a few months, only because things weren't moving fast enough, even those who found in me important qualities they look for in a man.

If a woman is too impatient to let things develop, and moves on to get an instant romantic relationship elsewhere, then the other compatibilities become moot.


Now, peoples' idea of "slow" does vary. So a reminder every once in awhile wouldn't hurt, either. Reassuring that you do like her 'n' such.


You got me wondering on this one. I do consciously make sure to show this with actions, but I am wondering if I am skipping over the words. I'l have to think about this one as I go to sleep tonight.

You know what, the more I think about it, I find it easy to say "I love you" once a romantic relationship starts, but I am beginning to think that I have never said "I like you" before that.

You have raised another question in my mind, but that is a different thread altogether. I'll deal with that one another time. This is the thread on my mind at the moment.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Women's advice requested on how to express my desire to go slow
Posted: 9/16/2011 7:14:35 PM
Could I get some pointers on how to properly express my desire to take things slow, very slow, in the early stages of a relationship?

I do not fight romantic feelings when I see something, but I prefer to spend more time in the early friendship, to lay as strong a foundation as possible for the later stages. The women I have dated have been quite impatient about this, so as a result I am finding that patience is the most attractive quality to me.

I have included this passage in my profile:
Ultimately, I do want a romantic relationship, and even marriage in time. Ultimately. Eventually. I am finding, though, that, romantic feelings inside of me evolve from feelings of friendship. The woman I am seeking does not require that the relationship become romantic by a certain time, because patience in spending more time as friends will only cause my eventual romantic feelings to be far stronger and deeper. I will be explaining this more as we e-mail, but for now ability to go slow is the most important quality I look for in a woman.

Am I out of line in expressing my desire for this? Is there anything I should add too this or delete from this?

Any comments from women would be greatly appreciated.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Help! When is it most appropriate to add someone to my favorites list?
Posted: 9/16/2011 12:48:58 PM
This may not be the “perfect” forum for my question, but I didn’t notice a better one, so I hope there won’t be a problem.

Keeping in mind that the other person receives notification if I add someone to my favorites list, when would you say it be most appropriate to add someone?

If you are a woman, in your opinion, how would you react if you saw that a guy added you to his favorites list, at the same time that he sent his intro message, before you had the chance to turn on your computer and read his message?

Would you interpret this simply as heightened interest, and read his message and profile first? Would this cause you to be more interested yourself?

Could this, on the other hand, cause me to be seen as too pushy or aggressive, and you put your guard up instead? This one is my major fear.

Or, do you not pay attention to these notifications typically, and it makes no difference whatsoever?

Help! Please! I am not sure what to do. I will consider any advice from any woman who has an opinion on this topic.
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How do I delete a thread that I started?
Posted: 9/15/2011 11:15:45 PM
I started a thread in "profile review", in which I had a few related questions. I re-did my profile about three times over already, and now my original post has nothing to do with the profile that I now have. Since we are only allowed one thread in that section, how do I delete my own thread and start over?
 friendlyguy200030004000
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How to seek a particular attire preference
Posted: 8/12/2011 8:50:49 AM
When I go out, I find that I prefer to dress up most of the time, as long as it is not inappropriate (I won't dress up for spending the day at the amusement park LOL), even if there is no requirement to do so. This is not to impress others, or because I feel like less of a person if I dress casually, or anything like that. Rather, I simply gravitate toward dressy attire when getting ready, and even when shopping for clothes, because I like the way they look. I have even worn a suit and tie to Applebee's, when that was all we were doing that night, just because I felt like doing so.

Now, I don't expect my dates to be exactly like me on this one; I do go in with the expectation that she wouldn't dress up as often as me; I am okay, if she is as well, if, *sometimes*, she really prefers to dress casually even when I am dressed up. However, I would like my dates to match me in dressiness of attire *most* of the time, or even *half* of the time, including some times when there is no specific requirement to do so. However, I would like this to be *her* choice to do so, and not because she *has* to match me. Does that make sense?

Could I get some women's general thoughts on this, first off?

Secondly, when would be the "proper" time to express this personality characteristic about myself, and that I seek the same or at least somewhat similar?

I ask this, because I have been quite frustrated in past experiences by women who really go to some great lengths to *avoid* any kind of dressy attire; I was hoping to get some pointers on bypassing those women as early as possible.

Do any women have any advice on this topic?
 
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