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 Author Thread: Poetree of Axis Mundi
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 8/21/2007 9:02:55 AM
I live for those moments
when the rhythm plays me
and my spirit dances free
beyond constraint
of earthly taint

the imprisoning bars
of time and space
lose all meaning
in this liminal space

all pretense drops away
fears crumble to dust
in absolute surrender
and unconditional trust
ego steps aside
as ancient truths combust
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:22:55 PM
You are most welcome eagle woman... and the pleasure was surely mine!
It's not often I feel safe enough to emerge from my castle in the gray, gray city,
but on this night, the magic was alive
and the winds of change tumbled me into this idyllic setting
where heart, mind, breath and rhythm joined in sacred celebration
yes yes! I have seen the goddess, she is in all of us.

Autumn, your words frequently take my breath away,
so to experience your unerring frequency of bliss firsthand
I count myself truly blessed. :)
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Poetry Translation and Meaning …………Interpreting Poetry
Posted: 8/19/2007 10:39:10 AM

When you are with everyone but me, you're with no one.
When you are with no one but me, you're with everyone.
Instead of being so bound up with everyone, be everyone.
Empty.


This is the voice of God speaking through his instrument, the poet.

When you overfocus on the external at the expense of your spirit, you are disconnected from the All One

When your first priority is your connection to God and your spirit, you are All One with everything

Instead of a need for external validation driven by judgment of the Self as being worthless or evil,
surrender to your ability to feel, see, hear, know and resonate with others.

When you are nothing, you are everything. Know your true worth.


This is actually an incredibly profound and powerful schooling in how to live a spiritually healthy life. Rumi is an amazing poet, so gracefully concise :)
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Feelings turned off
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:58:18 PM
When you find yourself obsessively thinking about the person, feeling helpless and out of control with your feelings, that's a pretty good indicator that you're dealing with some very early childhood wounding. This guy reminds you or has triggered some dynamic where you were rejected or abandoned as very young child - so young that you literally had no choice in the matter. Now it's imprinted on your neural pathways that when you feel this way, you are literally helpless, dependent and have no choice.

But this is not true - you are no longer an infant or young child who is utterly dependent on her parents for love and nurturing. You're an adult, and you need to remind yourself that you do have the power to make healthy choices for yourself. Start by taking the reins and nurturing yourself - you deserve it, and no one else can do that part for you. It's only the wounded infant part of you that craves someone else to do it for you, and believes that you have no ability to do it for yourself. And that's the part of you that responded to this person who obviously mirrors someone who hurt you the same way in the past. That part of you will keep on trying to resolve this pattern with anyone who matches the dynamic, until you finally address it from the source.

You might want to consider looking into some kind of therapy to assist with this process. I've heard EMDR is an effective method for re-patterning neural pathways of trauma, but do a bit of research and go with what feels right for you. Above all, be gentle with yourself, and keep reminding yourself that you deserve peace of mind. Don't get sucked into clinging to any fantasies, they are ultimately self-destructive.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Free Verse Poetry Festival -everybody welcome
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:36:13 PM
I posted this over in my other thread, but it seemed appropriate here somehow... REM, your poetry is raw and mesmerizing, just how I like it.

Qingu

The situation seems hopeless
you don’t even like me
although I seem to fascinate you, sometimes
I remind you of someone
maybe your mother
who makes you feel impotent rage
but I take the collateral damage
anger sharp like poison darts
chewing tender morsels of my heart
with a side of icy rebuff
our awkward attempts at conversation
leave unpeeled the ripe tension
that hangs between us like
the skidmarks on man-panties
hanging in dank rows across foetid alleys

every exchange leaves me
curling in on myself a little more
my leaves parched from lack
you avoid exhaling in my direction
as if even your air molecules
were too good for me.

looking into your eyes
I see past all the surface noise
the mantle of dysfunction that you wear
like a suit of rusty armour
the kind that’s too heavy
for you to mount a horse
and the visor keeps slipping down
to cover your eyes
and all you keep seeing are scenes
from some old storyline
that doesn’t end well

I recall those bygone days
when we were inseparable
somewhere in my akashic records
where you imprinted the tone
of your sunlit soul
a clamour of bells inciting riots
of butterflies , stampeding unicorns
and torrents of falling petals
quietly thundering
in the cobwebbed caverns
of my heart, and I might be crazy
or maybe you hear it too
but you’d sooner die
than admit to something this raw
and primordial

who the hell are you to treat me
as if I were some virulent plague?
you know nothing of me
but the most shallow reflection
the echo of some distant insult
that I never even imagined
and you never deserved.

if you never see me
through these mirrored walls
you will have missed out
on a spectacular opportunity
to rewrite history.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:28:48 PM
Qingu

The situation seems hopeless
you don’t even like me
although I seem to fascinate you, sometimes
I remind you of someone
maybe your mother
who makes you feel impotent rage
but I take the collateral damage
anger sharp like poison darts
chewing tender morsels of my heart
with a side of icy rebuff
our awkward attempts at conversation
leave unpeeled the ripe tension
that hangs between us like
the skidmarks on man-panties
hanging in dank rows across foetid alleys

every exchange leaves me
curling in on myself a little more
my leaves parched from lack
you avoid exhaling in my direction
as if even your air molecules
were too good for me.

looking into your eyes
I see past all the surface noise
the mantle of dysfunction that you wear
like a suit of rusty armour
the kind that’s too heavy
for you to mount a horse
and the visor keeps slipping down
to cover your eyes
and all you keep seeing are scenes
from some old storyline
that doesn’t end well

I recall those bygone days
when we were inseparable
somewhere in my akashic records
where you imprinted the tone
of your sunlit soul
a clamour of bells inciting riots
of butterflies , stampeding unicorns
and torrents of falling petals
quietly thundering
in the cobwebbed caverns
of my heart, and I might be crazy
or maybe you hear it too
but you’d sooner die
than admit to something this raw
and primordial

who the hell are you to treat me
as if I were some virulent plague?
you know nothing of me
but the most shallow reflection
the echo of some distant insult
that I never even imagined
and you never deserved.

if you never see me
through these mirrored walls
you will have missed out
on a spectacular opportunity
to rewrite history.

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:22:18 PM
Your Hawaiian friend is wise...
I am never alone, I am all one.
Easy to say that now, but there are days when I need several hundred fuschia post-its to remind me of that fact. :)
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:10:35 AM
My mind does seem to work in a fairly unique way...
I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that there are few who will be able to follow me down these convoluted paths. Or perhaps few who are willing.
Yet still my spirit drives me to forge ahead on this particular path, lonely as it may be.
My true self is mostly hidden from casual view.
I sit in radiant silence, like some mysterious temple locked in primordial jungle, awaiting those few intrepid explorers with courage and vision to wield language like flaming swords and surgical lasers, those few who are willing to transcend this human container we inhabit and reach for a far more ancient potential. Those who can do all this, and yet still honour and exalt the human form as the miraculous instrument it truly is.
After many years of attempting to fit in on the 'civilized' plains of the collective dream, I have retreated to the most uncharted wilderness of consciousness, my truest home - here sits my power, my magic, and I am no longer willing to live a life without them.

I guess that makes me fairly eccentric. :)
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 898 (view)
 
The Sacred Act of Story Tellling Though Womens Eyes.
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:24:12 AM

Dancer's legs like my mothers,
But they have made a stand and danced in places
That fragile women would never dare to go.


And this...

"Boys, better walk around me
Cause you sure as hell can't go through me or over me."
Only love can move, never force or strength.


I love this entire piece, but the lines above could easily be my mantra.
And the boys have indeed walked around me for a long time now.
On tippy-toe, and eggshell, like they think I don't notice them checking me out
then backing away slowly, tails tucked and whimpering.
Where the hell are all the MEN?

...

I really like you, but…
I’m not attracted to you
in a way that feels safe
or normal. Instead, I’m transfixed
fascinated, and helpless in the face
of raw power , which quite frankly
scares the crap out of me
and while I like to think of myself
as a modern type of guy
the weight of your implacable gaze
delineates a warrior-shaped void
that I might grow into
if only I could find the wisdom
but… I’d rather resent you
for reminding me
that I’m still ignoring
the call of my spirit,
and who asked you
to know that much about me
anyway.

You’re a really great person, but…
you don’t follow the rules
that I’ve been led to expect
by generations of simpering housewives
and glossy diet-obsessed bimbos
who cater to every fantasy
to which I’ve been programmed
to respond… your very presence
makes demands
on my creativity, my integrity
and reminds me that I lack
the courage to be real
to feel the depth of hurt
I wear on the outside
and I’ve never been comfortable
with that much truth
anyway.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:49:41 PM
I seem to be experiencing a period of technical difficulties
staying fully present... that may be why my muse left for an extended vacation.
-----

Power Suit

turning my back on financial district clones
I step into a glass elevator
shooting up and out into cerulean possibility

my power suit hangs just outside of me
wrinkle-free, hums with unseen mystery
a holographic mapping on each cell’s potential
mitochondria a gateway to interdimensional
absoluteness, my wings realized,
the taste of pure physics, crystallized
sweetness… no more limitation
of earthly mass, just pure vibration
fueling acts of creation.

I plug into my power suit memory
step into the vastness of eons
flicking on banks of DNA
meanwhile… back in my humanity
superpowers ignite into awareness
I’m a bird, I’m a plane, I rain
chaos across a plain of confusion
debugging routines reveal only illusion
I stride through broken millennia
across dementia and into despair,
as I process the remembrance…

there is no suit, the suit is me
it animates my nerve and bone
but just beyond my fourth wall floats
a leviathan scaled heavenly host
complete with ultraviolet hum
of spinning angelic choirs
most ancient of holies,
entangled in a carbon-based slum

and I, I am supposed to fit, somehow
into this… fleshy cage.
claustrophobic until fully engaged
enraged, I know it now
There is no suit, just frail ephemera
of protoplasmic chimera

perception filtered through grainy protocols
slowly losing it in translation
the wonder of my humanity palls
next to god-like transmutation
dimly recollected
in some akashic corridor
still not quite believing
I was taken in
by some recruiter’s spiel
extolling the virtues
of the fantastic instrumentation
available in every size, colour, gender,
you are infinitely upgradeable
they told me.

sullied ranks of enlisted angels
reeling with the heady fumes of mortality
all kitted out with their mobile suits
it must be the instrument, they say
me, I have my doubts…
even as the suit fails mid-stride
this torpid wetware lacks only instruction
anagogic codes of activation
long forgotten documentation\
celestial maps penned in blood and gold
on mobius loops of DNA controlled
by paradox, surrender now
while we download your new instructions
do you wish to restart?

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 7/14/2007 4:48:01 PM
Well so much for my muse
no sooner do I accuse her of willfullness
than she's off painting the walls
painted my interior walls with tears first
to soften the ground of my creativity perhaps?
after two months of sucking back salt
to replenish my electrolytes
she is almost ready
to come out and play.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 118 (view)
 
do we attract a certain type
Posted: 7/14/2007 3:50:12 PM

Is everyone in this thread a trauma survivor?


Is everyone on this thread human? born on earth? I think the very act of being born is trauma enough, let alone what we get subjected to from the moment of our arrival.


I'll re-read your previous explanation, but I think it was beyond the means of a layperson to understand. (...) I have a vague understanding of the anatomy of the brain, but not it's frequencies or physics.

That's why I asked what the logic behind reliving old painful memories was. I don't get it.


My apologies, I'll try and explain it another way - let's use the example of static electricity. When an object builds up a charge of static (generally as a result of friction) it will eventually have to get released when the imbalace becomes too great. We feel that as an electrical shock, and it's minimally uncomfortable. If you don't release the charge, you'll have static cling, and stuff will be attracted to you and stick.

The brain is a major generator of electromagnetic energy - every brain function we have is electrical when you break it right down to basics. So, whatever is going on in our minds, depending on how different areas of the brain are lit up and functioning, will determine the frequency we resonate at. The thing is, we're all sensitive to this energy and quite capable of perceiving it directly, but we've been trained to interpret it though a set of social filters that are behaviourally-based. One of our major behaviour filters is that it's not cool to show emotion, especially for guys, but I think most of us have at one time or another been told to stop crying/being a baby/told to shut up/or otherwise made wrong for simply freely expressing ourselves. So we learn to repress the free flow of emotions, and we end up creating friction in our electromagnetic systems.

Different people are affected to a greater or lesser degree, but I have yet to meet anyone who wasn't made wrong as a child SOMEWHERE, however seemingly minor. That moment of negative charge is stored in your system until it gets released, one way or another. If you don't address it on the spiritual, mental or emotional areas, it will eventually get released in the form of a physical illness in the body. All that energy has to go somewhere. You don't actually have to re-live the memories, and there's no point in wallowing or indulging in the pain, but the stored charge does have to be released. It can be slow, painful and recursive, or it can be one intense blast of powerful emotion. If it's not accompanied by a conscious awareness of the situation that stored that charge in the first place, it won't actually release, it will just keep repeating.

This is how we get stuck with patterns of attraction - something triggers a feeling in us that we subconsciously equate with love, and BAM, we're attracted. Sadly, most children have been programmed (not intentionally) to understand that 'love' is something we have to work for, that we don't really deserve unless we meet certain external behavioural requirements, instead of understanding that love is unconditional. This is how humanity has been rearing children for generations... it's not always overt, but it's generally there to some extent. Anyone who mirrors the dynamics of our parents will spark that 'attraction'. As babies, we have neither choice nor voice - even one parent having a rough day can have big repercussions to a child who is dependent on that parent for sheer survival. We learn to jump through all kinds of hoops to get that love feeling to come back. If you're just responding to the feeling without being aware of what it's tied to, then you're not operating from a position of choice, you're stuck in the place of that child who is anxious to have their parent love them.

Does that answer most of your questions?


Let me know if this example is anywhere near close to understanding you: Someone flips me off in traffic so then I should scream at my pillow when I get home to "release the charge"?

Because I've found that to not work for me. It leaves me angry. Twice. Once when it happened, and once again when I tried to "release the charge". Instead what I do is I waive at them while they're flipping me off and scream the goofiest "Hi!" I can muster while doing my best to immitate Jerry Lewis's silliest idiot-face and plastering the biggest goofy grin I can imagine on my face.

That makes me happy. It also has better results in my driving than if I try to wait till I get home to "release" my anger , or releasing my anger by road-raging on the guy.


In fact, your second example would be the correct thing to do, and the first example is a classic case of getting stuck in the pattern of taking on other people's emotions. The program in your subconscious makes you feel like you did something wrong when some random jerk yells at you for no reason, so the negative energy from his outburst sticks to you, and makes you feel like crap, and then angry - and rightly so, that negativity was never yours in the first place.

Humour and passion will always repel negativity. Your Jerry Lewis face is an awesome way to deal with a road rager - the charge can't stick, and bounces back to the person who sent it. Let me ask you though - if that rage came from a loved one, instead of a total stranger, would you be able to maintain the same detachment about it?



Again, this is another thing I've found myself able to control, to varying degrees. It's a very fine line between fear and excitement, and I've found that it's relatively easy for me, at times and with enough effort, to turn fear into excitement.


This is not unusual, a lot of people confuse terror with excitement. Another example of programming in action - an enraged adult is terrifying to a child. The relief at simply surviving that can be addictive, and we mistake the feeling of the adrenaline rush for love or passion when probably we've got another psycho rager on our hands. Hypothetical example of course.

This is what gives rise to phrases like 'enjoyable fear', which is a complete oxymoron to me. But I've spent a few years learning to ideantify and separate out the traumatized areas from the rest, so for me now, there is nothing attractive about the feeling of terror, no matter how much I've been programmed to respond to it. The type of man I used to find attractive was one who provoked a fear of abandonment and rejection in me, which I mistook for passion. I'd rather be in no relationship than be in one that was destructive to me - now I have the awareness to recognize that feeling as what it actually is, instead of mistaking it for attraction or love just because it feels familiar.


I wouldn't dare say that I have no patterns, I just realize that I have control over many of my patterns. I don't do affirmations because I don't even understand the phrase "I love myself" and I find a lot of affirmations to be simply forced lies.


The need for control is always fear-driven, and so it's not truly a position of choice. For me, true choice happens when my mind is clear and uninflenced by any kind of fear. Learning how to love myself has been a huge part of that process, and like you, initially it did feel like a lie, but again, it comes down to making a choice about what frequency you want running your life - fear or love?
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
do we attract a certain type
Posted: 7/12/2007 10:14:59 PM

I'm not stuck in the same pattern. Nor am I wondering why I'm stuck in the same pattern. What I'm wondering is what the thread title suggests - how do we attract a certain "type" of people, and how can we go about attracting a different type of person. I hope I made that clear in my previous posts.


If you are attracting a certain 'type', then you are stuck in a pattern. And I don't know how else to explain the physics of attraction to you, but I seriously do mean it when I say physics. This is not just 'pop psychology', as you seem to think.

Emotional processing and intellectual reasoning activate completely different areas of the brain, and generate different frequencies. People respond to the frequencies you generate, whether they are conscious or unconscious. So you might as well be conscious about it. I gave you an explanation of how that works, albeit simplified, and you chose to write it off.


But I'd go a step farther - I'd say you can have control over who you attract.
That's what I've been on about in every post I've made in this thread. No agreers on that topic yet.


Oh I agree with this point. It's not as simple as merely 'choosing' however. If it was that simple, the world would be a much happier place, full of people choosing healthy lifestyles and positive relationships.

You can't make healthy choices when you have unhealthy dynamics locked in your subconscious.


What I'm interested in is how to reverse the polarity on that thing.


Funny you should choose that particular wording. Because this is literally what I explained in my earlier post. You reverse the polarity by (surprise) reversing the polarity. Aaaaaaannd... the only way to do that is to release the electromagnetic charge from any past trauma. This is literally what trauma does, it creates an electromagnetic charge that virtually guarantees we will continue to attract a similar dynamic into our lives over and over until we 'get' whatever the lesson is about. In other words, the electromagnetic impact of negative emotions creates an area of 'static', at a particular frequency that will produce a consistent pattern of attraction.

For example, if a person's childhood was filled with criticism and judgment, then they will either have crappy self-esteem, and tend to attract people who will judge and criticise them, OR, they will need to judge and criticise everything others say, because they have such a need to be 'right'. Or both.

I've been doing energy work and therapy with trauma survivors for over 10 years, there is no 'pop' about it, it's simply reality. Very few people escape being traumatized as children, and any trauma you experience with a past partner will STILL be rooted in patterns established in childhood.

The only way to truly have choice about who you attract is to become conscious of, and deal with any unprocessed emotion in your electromagnetic field. I'm not just talking metaphor here, if you were to take an MRI of someone experiencing profound terror, or rage, or whatever, there would be a distinct electromagnetic signature to each emotion, as well as a significant amount of electromagnetic activity. You take an MRI of someone figuring out a math problem, or having an intellectual debate, there is a distinctly different electromagnetic frequency, different areas of the brain being used altogether. This has nothing whatsoever to do with the difference between men & women, this has to do with the difference between thinking and feeling - two completely different functions in your bio-electrical system.

If you want to change the type of people you attract, then you need to be consciously aware of the frequencies you are generating on the emotional level, both consciously AND unconsciously. If you walk around with a big smile on the surface and a huge charge of unprocessed fear in your subconscious, people will still respond to the fear, whether or not you are even aware you have it.

Most people don't truly comprehend this, which is why they keep finding themselves in the same patterns despite having seen The Secret and doing their daily positive affirmations. There is only so much you can accomplish with the conscious mind - the bulk of what impacts us is still locked in our subconscious.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 161 (view)
 
Reporting And deleting Main images
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:17:04 PM
Wow, this debate's still raging.

OK then, if any random humourless control freak in a pissy mood can choose to delete my pictures, then how about offering the rest of us the option to delete profiles that say nothing and tell us nothing about the person? Or how about the ones that say "blah blah blah" for an entire paragraph to get by the minimum character limit? Can I report those? Because let's face it, those people are WASTING MY TIME!!!!!

I'm quite frankly tired of reading through all the profiles that are illiterate, written in all caps, or say "if you wanna know just ask". Or how about the ones that are looking for a 'good-hearted woman?" Can I have the option to delete those?

I mean, really, I can understand the request to not post pics of a pornographic nature, but to be honest I'm a lot more intrigued by people who will post pictures of their artwork, their garden, weird-looking vegetables, or a bizarre cartoon, than by an endless parade of face shots that all blur into sameness after 5 minutes.

No offense Admin, but you're turning this site into a dating subdivision. *yawn*
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
do we attract a certain type
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:56:37 PM
Some good replies on this thread... ^^^^^

Angelheart's comment above is very true, and the way to change it, as many have suggested, is to become conscious of the pattern - whatever it is. Bottom line, these kinds of patterns ALL come from childhood experiences. One person asked how to go about becoming conscious without experiencing pain - well, if your pattern happens to be rooted in pain that you experienced in childhood, then you don't really have an option. You see, children are remarkably adaptable, and most children make it to adulthood relatively sane despite pretty horrific experiences in childhood. The way they accomplish this is by dissassociating in the moment of trauma - they check out, leave their bodies, they don't feel the pain in the moment.

So in order to become conscious, you will need to feel all the pain you deferred as a child. There is no shortcut for this, except absolute, total surrender. The more you fight the healing process, the more painful and drawn out it gets, to the point where you end up posting on forums wondering why you seem to be stuck in the same old pattern for years and years :)

Another thing I'd like to mention is that a lot of people have referenced chemistry - this is not totally accurate, because what's really operating here is physics. There is no 'chemical' reaction, per se, but there is an electromagnetic attraction based on shared/opposite wounding. Again, the only way to cancel or release the 'charge' on the original wounding is to 'feel' it. Emotions are based in electromagnetic reality, and the emotions we deny still have an impact on our electromagnetic systems. What this means is that you can spend ten years going to therapy and talking it out, getting a really great in-depth intellectual comprehension of all your childhood trauma, but unless you allow yourself to FEEL that deferred pain, you will not change the pattern.

'Feeling' and 'thinking' are not the same, and intellect cannot move energy. This is the bottom line of the physics.

Personally, I'm not even really sure why I'm on here any more - I've been engaged in my own healing process for so long that I seem to attract NO ONE! But that's partly because I'm still processing all the early childhood rejection I experienced. It's not even remotely fun, but the payoff is that I know when I'm truly done my processing, I WILL attract exactly the person I imagine, I will no longer be bound by the pattern of attracting only emotionally unavailable, abusive men who don't actually like me.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Plentyoffish Relationship Assessment.
Posted: 7/6/2007 9:43:10 PM
Interesting. Some areas were pretty accurate, and others were the complete opposite. Like many others have mentioned, I suspect a glitch somewhere. I am DEFINITELY a touchy-feely person when in relationship - if that was lacking, I'd be outta there pretty quick. Also the one about not knowing my partner's co-workers seemed to be processed completely the opposite of what I answered. If I suddenly found myself obsessing about his co-workers, I'd know it was time to get myself committed!

Either it's a glitch, or the wording on some of the questions is back-asswards, and needs editing. I'd be interested to take the test again when the glitches are sorted out; until then, I won't be using the results on my profile.

Also, like a few others have mentioned, I'd love to have an easier way to access compatibility results. As things stand currently, the only way for me to know that info is if the person is logged in at the same time as me.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 5/2/2007 9:35:37 AM
Thanks REM, I'd love to come by for tea and mythology...
(I hope you don't mind if I post a rerun once in a while...)

My muse is the slow-burning kind
although she will occasionally provide
a spectacular explosion of expression
once she is done, I find myself
feeling a bit raw and introverted...
maybe a little charred around the edges.

Amid this sea of prolific poets
I feel a bit intimidated
but my muse doesn't care
she lights up when it suits her...
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/30/2007 10:32:13 PM
Temple

Some days, it doesn’t quite fit right
like an old jacket that shrank
just before it went out of style
and I can feel the pressure of time
muscling in between the cells
turning to acrimonious cinders
every particle complaining
as my soul, mortified
stands slightly apart
from the corporeal drama
too visceral by far
for the celestial discernment
of my only bulletproof component

I recoil from the meat
in horror, already feeling the erosion
a terminal disease that lasts a lifetime
killing me slowly, one molecule at a time
all the while making ridiculous demands
feed me, exercise me
damn thing can’t even fly
although the autopilot function
seems pretty efficient

Futile attempts to call home
only confirm that the antenna won’t work
unless I engage the hardware
dammit.

There’s no instruction manual
only quantum shortcuts
diagnostics screaming anguish
on every dimension
I shrink away reflexively
and stop breathing for a moment
as if that might turn down the volume.
frantically twiddling dials
looking for

Quiet.

Reaching through static
I finally hear it, singing...
the crystalline voice of my soul,
in tongue of creaking hinge,
stuttering sirens in the distance,
sonorous church bells spliced
into rattling air conditioners.
Herds of cats prowl the alleys howling my name
even my DNA shouts scurrilous suggestions
tulips thrust brazenly heavenward
a small child on a tricycle shakes her fist
all of it telling me
look up
look
up…

fat drops of rain slam gently into my upturned face
the reproachful punches of pixies
a reminder to settle down
and stay a while
every molecule speaks to me
jostling each other in a cataclysmic dance
eager to pass on the divine message…

Be still.

Breathe.

Surrender.

Love.

And my temple snaps into focus around me
just like that.

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 148 (view)
 
New Feature for Women.
Posted: 4/28/2007 1:15:29 PM
I too think this is a very bad idea, and has great potential for abuse by unstable individuals. However, I have a simple idea that might make it work in a positive way.

First of all, if you are the type of person who consistently keeps attracting freaks, weirdos, abusers and stalkers, then you need to look at your own ingrained patterns and deal with the your own issues, instead of constantly projecting from a victim position.

If the Admin were to make this feature publicly viewable by anyone, AND IN ADDITION to listing the people (and it should be either gender) who are deemed un-dateable, then he should also list publicly those who have clicked that button to report someone.

If you knew that anyone could check how many times you've accused and blacklisted another, it might make you think twice about doing so. It would be good alert to anyone, hey, this person either has a tendency to blame and project, or they have issues around victimhood and boundaries. If you click that button to accuse someone, you're in effect also telling the world that you are EQUALLY unready or possibly unfit to be in the dating world, and potential suitors should probably steer clear, unless they need that kind of drama to make their lives exciting.

This would at least encourage people to take responsibility for their choices. I'd be more inclined to question someone who felt the need to report more than one person than I would someone who had simply been reported... but bottom line, I'd prefer not to deal with people in EITHER group.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:41:10 AM
Joy of Breath

Air takes its sweet time reaching my soul’s extremity
numb and quiescent ‘til i breathe it in deep
oxygen hits, and it bursts into flower
a patch of noxious weeds
makes my nose run
and eyes weep

In times of doubt, the growth so virulent
it cracks the pavement of my soul
grinds slabs of ancestral stone
across my battered heart
no longer whole

I raise a host of nimble-fingered faeries and a pair
of interdimensional gardening gloves
to pluck invaders by the roots
and plant sweet-smelling
blooms in there
instead

A bouquet of love to Self inscribed in bumblebees
and petals, twining branches heavy with song
of canary, blackbird and nightingale
fragrant fruited saplings long
toward becoming
mighty trees

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Female Circumcision - Wrong !!
Posted: 4/20/2007 10:13:31 AM
Adult Male Circumcision Significantly Reduces Risk of Acquiring HIV


This is somewhat ironic, considering the fact that, according to my doctor friend in Guinea, and apparently others as well, female circumcision is actually responsible for increasing the transmission of AIDs. Why? Because in circumcized women, especially in cases of infibulation, where the entire clitoris and labia are removed and sewn shut, the act of vaginal intercourse can be so painful that unless the couple is specifically trying to have a baby, the men will often opt for anal intercourse in order to avoid causing their wives too much pain. These men may be uneducated, and living in a culture that supports barbaric practices, but let's keep in mind that the males have NOTHING to do with this. Yes, they stand by and allow their daughters to be mutilated, but my impression is that, for the most part, they really have no idea what's entailed, and they assume it's the equivalent of what the boys go through in their own circumcision rituals (usually around puberty, for the cultures I've encountered). When you take the time to explain to them anatomically exactly what's happening to these girls (i.e. "Dude, it would be like if you had a son and they cut off his penis at the root"), they are just as horrified as we are, believe me. What they lack, quite simply, is education. And that's a tough one, because we're up against so many cultural taboos here - many of these cultures, although they can seem outwardly very romantic and flirtatious, are in fact incredibly repressed when it comes to actally talking openly about sexual issues.

Anyway, I digress... my point is, these men may be uneducated, but they themselves are often individually quite gentle and caring individuals, who love their wives deeply (yes, even if they have 4 of them). They would prefer not to cause their wives any unnecessary pain, so unprotected anal intercourse is a lot more common there than it is here. Of course, anal tissue is easily subject to tears and abrasion, and transmission of AIDs is a lot more in that case. There is also (from what I gather) a lot of promiscuity, and often the men will go with anal intercourse quite simply becauuse they don't want to get someone else pregnant. West African cultures have very strong social pressures for the father of any child to support not only that child, but the mother of the child, and the mother's entire family, in many cases. Yes, the women will often deliberately seek to be impregnated by someone they perceive as 'succesful', because in the absence of any social support programs, it's often the only way an entire family will get any financial support. They don't have easy access to condoms, but even when they do, it is considered an insult by many to use one. In the more traditional villages, they literally often have no idea what a condom is for, the concept is just so foreign to them.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Female Circumcision, Right or Wrong?
Posted: 4/19/2007 12:22:56 PM
The only reason babies people think babies don't remember is that by the time we're adults, we've become accustomed to only processing information via the intellect and linguistic capacity... obviously not possible for a baby to frame memories in terms of language before they even have language.

I have an interesting book called 'Memories and Abuse' by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D. He goes into quiet a bit of depth about how memory works and how memories are processed and stored differently depending on the emotional experience at the time of the event. There's plenty of good reasons why most people who have experienced trauma don't remember it - same as most soldiers or indeed anyone who experiences a shocking and traumatic event. Those mechanisms exist in us to protect us from the shock, but that doesn't mean the memories can't be retrieved (or re-surface at inconvenient moments, as I have experienced).

We remember emotions that were locked in our bodies at a very early age. I'd be willing to bet that most people who suffer from depression or anxiety for no 'apparent' reason were simply left alone for long periods of time as babies - which, at one time, was considered the 'proper' way to train a baby to stop crying. The truth is, a baby left alone in a room for long enough will stop crying from sheer exhaustion and disassociation. Imagine being tied up, unable to move, unable to communicate in a common language, no knowing whether you would ever see freedom again. Terrifying. And yet people routinely treat babies like this, in western culture anyway. How much more terrifying to experience something as brutal as circumcision or the far more severe excision.

At least in many 3rd world cultures, babies are routinely kept in close contact with their mother's bodies, usually in a sling across the back, until, they're old enough to walk on their own. One effect of this that I've noticed is that people in those cultures seem to be much more physically grounded in their bodies and much more honest in their emotional expression. Africans are pretty hilarious in the way they poke fun at westerners' chronic passive-aggressiveness.

Aside: I've always thought the cleanliness argument for male circumcision was specious. We women have far more folds and crevasses going on in our parts than a simple little foreskin; we learn to wash, for god's sake (one would hope). Why do so many people have so much trouble with the idea of teaching their male children the same? Is there still that much shame about anything to do with genitalia? (yes, that was a rhetorical question.)
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 242 (view)
 
Soul flutters
Posted: 4/19/2007 10:10:04 AM
Some times the facts as they emerge
illuminate the other's pain
this lone gunman
a mere child
or did he even have a childhood?
how loud do these wounded children have to shout
before the world will begin
to comprehend the pain
the betrayal
that is inflicted
daily
by parents
loved ones
trusted ones?

Yes, this is a horror
what is even more horrifying
is that we inevitably demonize the original victims
instead of examining
what would drive a person
to commit something like this?

I want more light on the truth here
more exposure
more understanding
of the devastation wrought
upon a human soul
when the door is closed
and no one is watching
except God.

No more of this bullshit
Oh, they won't remember
they're too young to talk about it
it didn't hurt me when I was a kid
this hurts me more than it hurts you
or the even more shameful
those incidents where no words are even exchanged
just bodily fluids and a threat...

Expect to see more of the same
storms like that of our Mother
and we sit, stunned in the aftermath
wondering why?

Stupid humanity.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Female Circumcision, Right or Wrong?
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:52:20 AM

I'm not 'grasping at straws', I'm very secure in what I believe, and what arguments I'm making.


That much is fairly obvious. However, intellectual arrogance and intellectual bullying does not by default make you right. You seem to have lost sight of your humanity here. Intellect is not the be all and end all. Academia is a very sheltered world, very disconnected from the reality that most humans live, and some of the most horrendous atrocities in our world have been committed with the coldness of intellectual justification. Hitler had plenty of intellectual justifications for why the Jew, Gays, Muslims, Gypsies, etc. were inferior. And he had all the law and power of the state behind him. If people had just blindly accepted all this out of some misguided notion that it was a) part of the culture and b) the law, so it must be OK, then can you imagine what a very different world we would live in? In Germany, they did accept it - for long enough that millions were slaughtered.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and take a wild guess that you use your intellect as a defense and as a type of numbness against something probably horrific that happened to you when you were younger. The way you justify these things is very typical of that kind of symptomology. You might want to consider taking off the intellectual blinders and taking a broader view of the world. Culture is fluid, and just because a culture has unique aspects, does not automatically mean every one of those aspects is good or should be preserved.

Yes, a lot of people have responded emotionally, because their capacity for empathy is intact enough to resonate with the pain of over 120 million women who have been circumcised as children. We have emotions for a reason, and we feel pain for a reason - it is there to tell us when a boundary has been crossed, when something is wrong and needs to be corrected. There is no good or justifiable reason to inflict pain on another human unnecessarily. Any culture that maintains this is so, is spiritually twisted. Of course, every culture I have come across so far, including our own, fits this classification. What I am trying to say here is that simply writing off a person's response because it comes from an emotional place is more indicative of your own emotional health than anything else. You need to seek some balance in your life, and realize that emotional response in the face of atrocity and torture is not only normal, it's healthy. To reduce everything to cold, intellectual facts is borderline sociopathic.

Before you go claiming all the academics that have gone before that do the very same thing, I will say in advance that I find a lot of academia to date has fostered a type of intellectualism that is borderline sociopathic. This is especially true in disciplines such as anthropology and archeology, which have been mostly male dominated for most of their history. It's built into the culture of academia. And it's time academia woke up and joined the rest of humanity in evolving. The word 'patronizing' comes to mind - a patriarchal mindset in academia makes for distortion of the truth, especially when studying other cultures or indeed any aspect of humanity.


Also, comparing child beating and genital mutilation is not a fair comparison. Child beating is not legal here. If it was, then obviously someone would've thought about the pros and cons and decided the pros won out. So yes, if it was made legal, I would be okay with it. However, that is NOT the case. Just like female genital mutilation is not illegal in these countries we're discussing.


This in factually untrue. Many African countries have made female genital mutilation illegal, and many others are in the process of enacting legislation. Child beating is legal, or at least, not illegal, in many countries still. If you seriously think you'd be OK with child beating being legal, then again I question your emotional health. I defy you to stand by and watch a child being beaten, and not feel that child's pain and humiliation. We have the gift of empathy so we can KNOW when we are transgressing the Law - and I'm not talking about puny human tribal laws, I am talking about the idea of a higher law, crossing the boundary of someone's free will.

If you want to come up with an intellectual justification for why transgressing someone's free will is OK just because it's 'part of their culture', then again, I stand by my statement that you're giving away a lot more about yourself. My observation is that people who use this type of argument, again, use it as a way to rationalize the pain or horror that was inflicted on them in their own childhood, a way of feeling some sense of control.


'They' have been doing this practice for hundreds and thousands of years. There's no doubt in my mind that there are some that die from it, but what about the vast majority that don't? And go on to lead (in their opinion) happy healthy lives?
And that's just it -- if *they* have no problem with it (they being the girls, the parents, the people performing the ritual (yes ritual, NOT surgery like we think of it), the EDUCATED people studying them) why should we?


Where do you get the idea that these women lead happy and healthy lives? Have you talked to any of these women? Have you spent time in any of these cultures and observed the dynamics, the lifestyle, the way these women are with one another and the children?

I have done so. I've spent a fair bit of time in both Senegal and Guinea - which has one of the highest rates of infibulation, the most radical form of female circumcision. I've lived among these people in their villages, gotten to know their culture, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that these women are not living 'happy and healthy' lives, not by any stretch of the imagination. They may profess to it on the external - in the same way that an abused woman professes that her mate really loves her and that she's really happy when he's not hitting her. Generally it's because they don't know any differnt, they've have no memory of real happiness. The fact that you are unable to discern the difference once again gives me cause for concern about your own emotional state.

The last time I was in Guinea, I had the opportunity to get to know a female MD. She was 35 years old, and in her practice, most of her clients were women who came to her for gynecological problems. Most of them were dealing with severe chronic infections, pregnancy and childbirth complications, severe menstrual pain and difficulty, severe pain in sexuual intercourse, chronic depression, and many reported feeling suicidal. This is what they confessed to their doctor, but would likely never tell anyone outside of that confidential relationship.

Her own story: She was from a fairly well-off family, her parents were both academics, highly educated professionals, and they made the decision early on that their daughter would never be circumcised. Normally, in Guinea, it's done when the girls are around age 2 - it used to be as old as 12-16, but they found younger children healed better and the mortality rate was lower.

So this doctor, as a child, used to spend summers in the village where her grandparents and other relatives still lived. One summer, when she was 12 years old, the elder women in the village were all celebrating something, drumming and dancing was going on, she didn't pay much attention. The rituals went on all night, but she went to bed and slept through most of it. At 6:00 am, the grandmothers came and got her. They strapped her into a chair with her legs spread, and cut off the end of her clitoris with a rusty razor blade, paying no heed to her screaming protests that her parents didn't want her to go through that. She said the pain was indescribable. She considers herself one of the lucky ones, she says, because at least she can still occasionally, with a lot of effort, experience some degree of sexual pleasure. Most of the women she treats have never had an orgasm, nor do they even know what it is.

My observations of the culture there, and the dynamics between women - there is no trust between women. They are what we would call catty, b!tchy, competitive, manipulative, grasping and vengeful with one another, sometimes downright vicious. It seems to be endemic on a cultural level that any mistreatment of another can be justified by the old, "they did something to me first" argument. They are often either extremely vain or they suffer poor self-esteem, and their behaviour towards children and males can be downright abusive. This kind of dynamic is passed on generationally - if you grow up with abuse and torture as the norm, you will think nothing of inflicting it on another. I can't count how many times I witnessed very young children (as young as one and a half) being beaten, often with a stick... and let's not forget the aspect of public shaming and humiliation. That's a very big method of control in that culture. I speak not from a place of judgment, but as a healer and counselor trained to observe human dynamics. And this is not healthy human interaction, by any stretch of the imagination.

This is not 'culture'; this is institutionalized abuse. One of my beefs with academia is that it has so far failed to make a clear distinction between what actually constitutes true cultural content, in a mythological sense, and what constitutes layers of generationally imposed pathology. Some of it goes so far back that the true cultural meaning is often lost to the mists of time. Just look at how mistranslations of the Bible have been used to justify all manner of atrocity. If you ever get a chance, see if you can find some biblical translations direct from the original Aramaic, instead of from Aramaic to Hebrew to Greek to Latin to Archaic English to English. It's a real eye-opener.

FGM is in fact a form of sexual abuse, and sexual abuse is known to break the ability to form correct bonds of socialization and ability to empathize with another's pain. Numbing out and dissassociating from feeling emotions, both theirs and others, is often the only way an abused child is able to keep their 'sanity' intact, although that's questionable, given some of the people I've worked with.

If you want to know my credentials, I speak from experience. I currently teach in a university, and outside of that I also teach spirituality, healing, and I do counselling with a lot of abuse survivors. I've also done all of that work with myself, for myself, because as a counselor and healer I know that it is not possible to help another until you face your own issues.

_Lostinyou_, you remind me a little of myself at your age, full of intellectual spit and vinegar, naively clinging to the belief that intellect and rationalism can explain everything in the world, and arrogant beyond belief. It's a heady phase of life to go through, and you probably have no consciousness at all of how bullying you are as you fling your arguments out there. In time, you will come to realize that there is nothing glamourous about being intelligent. It's simply a call from somewhere higher that if you have the smarts, you also have a responsibility to step up and assist in humanity's evolution. If you don't get that, (and you might not for a few more years, until symptomology starts setting in), then you're not nearly as intelligent as you think you are.

I'd recommend you read Alice Miller's books, Banished Knowledge, and Drama of the Gifted Child in particular. It might give you a different perspective.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Reporting And deleting Main images
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:59:29 PM
Boliej, you clearly don't understand what I'm saying here. I don't advocate anarchy; yes, some rules must exist, if only to protect the innocent. These people on POF are hardly innocent - they are (supposedly) mature adults. Could have fooled me.

You have no idea what my background is - for the record, both my parents grew up in wartime Europe. I think I have some idea what I'm talking about. The current, subtle erosion of civil liberties in North America, in the US in particular, very closely mirrors what happened in pre-WW2 Germany. Do your research. With a pretty good cross-section of the population represented here on POF, I think this virtual space acts as a very illuminating mirror for what's going on in society. The bottom line, for me, is that no one has a right to impose restrictions on the free will of another. Period. I'm not just talking about human, tribal laws, I'm talking Divine Law. And yet, we live in a society where we are constantly subjected to justifications of why it's OK for someone to impose some restriction on our free will. Usually by imposing the fallacy of 'the greatest good'. This does not equate to anarchy, in my mind, because there is still a structure of law that exists here, if people would care to avail themselves of it.

I will go so far as to agree that we do indeed need to have some human-made rules, insofar as most of humanity is so lacking in moral compass that they need someone to tell them the difference between right and wrong. And even with the rules in place, they still f*ck it up most of the time.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 117 (view)
 
“Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.'”
Posted: 4/15/2007 6:59:13 PM
Anodyne

I love how it swells
into a temple where it is
held prisoner, where the god
of blame resides. I love
slopes & peaks, the secret
paths that make me selfish.
I love my crooked feet
shaped by vanity & work
shoes made to outlast
belief. The hardness
coupling milk it can't
fashion. I love the lips,
salt & honeycomb on the tongue.
The hair holding off rain
& snow. The white moons
on my fingernails. I love
how everything begs
blood into song & prayer
inside an egg. A ghost
hums through my bones
like Pan's midnight flute
shaping internal laws
beside a troubled river.
I love this body
made to weather the storm
in the brain, raised
out of the deep smell
of fish & water hyacinth,
out of rapture & the first
regret. I love my big hands.
I love it clear down to the soft
quick motor of each breath,
the liver's ten kinds of desire
& the kidney's lust for sugar.
This skin, this sac of dung
& joy, this spleen floating
like a compass needle inside
nighttime, always divining
West Africa's dusty horizon.
I love the birthmark
posed like a fighting c0ck
on my right shoulder blade.
I love this body, this
solo & ragtime jubilee
behind the left nipple,
because I know I was born
to wear out at least
one hundred angels.


—YUSEF KOMUNYAKAA
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 145 (view)
 
Reporting And deleting Main images
Posted: 4/15/2007 3:27:34 PM
Music Man, first of all, I am not coming down on the admin for policing decency content of images. I have no problem with restricting explicit sexual images. Mind you, I see nothing indecent about a cleavage shot, no more indecent than the classic sixpack shot - and MY GOD, those guys are showing their NIPPLES! I am not personally offended by the human body, and I think it's a sad comment on society's level of sexual repression that we can't tolerate even mildly sexually charged images without all going into a frenzy of blaming, shaming, finger-pointing and judging.

Secondly, almost everything else you say here suggests that you feel POF is somehow liable and responsible for your love life and lessons. Life lessons are not a commodity. You get what you are dealt, until you learn why you keep being dealt the same sh!tty hand. It's not something you can make someone else responsible for. Just because the internet gives you an illusion of control, doesn't mean you actually HAVE any control over your life. I've always found that the more you cling to that illusion, the more likely it will be to bite you in the @ss.

One doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to exercise common sense when it comes to meeting strangers, but y'all really need to learn how to stop projecting your fantasy expectations all over other people. That will get you nowhere, and it's an untenable, irresponsible starting point for any relationship.

I've been single for a plenty long time thanks, I'm not anything approaching naive.

Thirdly, I would like to thank the admin for making those recent changes... the change in wording makes a huge difference. At the time I posted, I had not yet seen that.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Reporting And deleting Main images
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:11:45 PM
No, no, a thousand times no!!! I find this feature absolutely appalling, and a blatant violation of our free will to seek love and find attraction in whatever manner suits us.

Yes, I realize this is not the popular view, that the VAST majority of people are mired in mediocrity and firmly stuck in the box of relationship stereotype, where the only valid form of attraction is to physical appearance. Well, by those standards, I don't fit - I'm not conventionally attractive, I wouldn't even score on the radar for most people. I rely on my wits, my words, and my creativity to make an impression. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here who feels this way. It's just that in our mass-commodifed, dumbed-down culture, people like us are marginalized and have to fight for every scrap of freedom we can create.

You call this a 'free' site? When I have to PAY with my individuality, my very uniqueness, to fit into a box I never wanted to be a part of? I've already switched my profile to 'friends' because I've given up on the idea of finding love on a site such as this, that caters to the lowest common denominator. This site is a great concept, and I am grateful daily for the comparative freedom and kindred spirits I have found in the poetry forum... but this latest 'feature' really crosses all my boundaries.

Since I signed onto this site 5 months ago, I have been on exactly ONE date. And you know what? The dude showed up looking approximately 75 lbs heavier than his photos, after claiming 'average' on his profile. Big deal. Policing the photos like this will never stop people from lying, and will not stop players or fakers from taking advantage of this site. I'm willing to take full responsibility for my own lack of discernment in this case.

I have to wonder what motivates you, Admin... You, who are in a relationship already, what gives you the right to tell me how I can and should love? What gives ANYONE that right? How DARE you!!! It's not like hard drive space is expensive these days. This is just a cheap and nasty, fear-based grab for control of others' free will by all those immature complainers, those people who aren't willing to take responsibility for their own choices, those people who are so afraid of being alone that their every post smacks of desperation and poor pitiful me victimhood. Better wake up, this represents the MAJORITY of humanity. Are you going to kowtow to their fear or are you capable of thinking and feeling for yourself what is truly correct and honourable in this situation?

I can only surmise that you are a sensitive soul at heart, and cannot take the incessant whining of the unwashed masses... you must get hundreds of emails daily from morons who want to make you personally responsible for the fact that they have not yet found love, or that they got played, or disappointed, or whatever. When will you realize that you can't please everyone? Why do you take this crap personally? Why do you allow it to beat you down into making changes that destroy the integrity of what you are trying to build here - a site to facilitate others to find love in their lives? If you let those whiners who want to control everyone's expression determine how you let this site function, then you are as guilty as they are of falling into judgment. You've gone over to the dark side.

It's one thing to police image content for obscenity, but if someone is offended by pictures of cleavage, or waterfront, or a dog, or a piece of meaningful art - then that's THEIR issue. Why do you need to make it yours, and ours? Let those people whine, maybe you'd be better served by imposing a 'whine' limit on emails to mods and admin. Let them click on the next profile, what is with this obsessional need to control others' thoughts and expression? There's a name for that kind of thinking.

Every time I see that link underneath a photo, it makes me shudder, and brings to mind a certain poem written in Nazi Germany:

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.
-- Pastor Martin Niemoller

/rant

Oh, and btw, I'm fully aware that at 23 pages, you will likely never read this post anyway. However, this latest thing so deeply offends me that I really had to say something. Obviously I am not one of those people that needs rules all over the damn place to feel safe or to function and make independent decisions in my life. That kind of thinking in humanity has historically always gotten us into big heaps of trouble, and the sooner those of us that comprehend this speak up, the better. It's quite simply the need of a frightened child who grew up in chaos needing to find some way to impose control on their world. Grow up, people, for god's sake! What's next, a button to 'report this person as a possible drug user'?
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 2065 (view)
 
Old Souls......only
Posted: 4/15/2007 9:43:32 AM
Oh no, what's this? A birthday I've missed?
Story of my life... the curse of perennial lateness.

On your birthday, Truth, I was leaving Nova Scotia to drive back home with my dog, who had been living on a farm out there for several months. That day it was brilliantly sunny, clouds like herds of pristine sheep scudding across an open sky. We stopped for a walk on the coast, at a place where the rocks lie like the bones of giants upon the shore, encrusted with lichen that has witnessed generations of natives, tallships, grizzled fishermen, laughing children...

I breathed in then a feeling of simple wholeness, a remembrance of joy in my beingness that can seem elusive when you're trapped in a vibrating metal box on a highway, or wheezing thru city smog... every cell of my being was engaged in loving the moment, just being with my furry companion, clambering across the rocks in sheer exuberance.

One of my most poignant lessons - Only I can hold the wavelength of celebration for my own existence... it was not something I was ever taught, in fact much the opposite. My own arrival on this plane was met with resentment and complaint, so the learning of this lesson was fraught with anguish and the dull snapping of restraints upon my ability to receive joy.

Never take for granted your capacity for celebrating every moment, that ineffable attribute that motivates us to stay present here, to revel in the gifts of being physical, to seek meaning and joy thru the strands of time. Our ancient souls always know this, even when the fragile human part forgets.

Happy Birth Day.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Ocean Spirit
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:53:56 AM
Good to see you back Salty :)
I just drove back from the coast the other day
and saw the most amazing thing...

Have you ever wondered what expression
a baby's face holds inside the womb?
Take a baby to the ocean
amid the rumble and sussuration of waves
hold her close
so she can feel your heart beat
look into her eyes
and love her
and you will know
the face of God
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:42:11 AM
I have yet to met a man
who inspired me to drive
halfway across the country for him.

For this puppy?
I would have driven across the whole continent.

They love so unconditionally...
it nearly broke my heart
when the first thing he did
upon my arrival
was jump into the driver's seat of my car
and wait to be taken home.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/14/2007 11:07:07 PM
Return of the Prodigal Dog

His reproachful gaze
on our reunion,
retrieval from a farm named purgatory,
with apple trees
a compost heap
two barns
with barn cats
baby humans
generating unlimited table scraps
vast open fields to run in
a man to throw sticks
soft dirt
a waterfall
a stream
acres of boggy, primeval forest
deer spoor
and unrealized potential for herding live sheep.

All this, thrown away
for a fleeting moment
of toothy gratification.

Yesterday, on Mont Royal,
he saw other dogs
for the first time in months.
I have rarely seen him as joyful
as during the ensuing orgy
of butt-sniffing,
tail-gyrating,
peeing memoranda.

I look into his eyes,
and he holds up a picture...
myself, small and helpless,
feeling abandoned,
just wanting
to be loved by mom.

My heart cracks open again,
I fall in love.
Finally,
someone to take me
for walks.

Guess he's a city dog after all.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/14/2007 10:35:20 PM

The forms and shapes reached me, on some strange plane of singing stars.
Fractal figments of the way we dream.

Brolga, brightly woven...

Fractal figments of the way we dream
in tiny, high-speed bursts,
encoded signals from a far off time
out of time
tiny crop circles embossed on mitochondria
are we out of time?
or are we o u t . . o f . . t i m e ?
when will infinity be enough?

the grasshopper knows...
when you slice the moments
sharper than a blade of grass
they will cut you to ribbons
better to flow in between
like a chiming breeze
or a glacier
quicksilver
heavy clotted cream
menstrual blood
it's all flow.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/6/2007 8:36:34 PM
Time... for some more fertile words of inspiration
This one is another favourite
by Ursula Rucker
spoken words to musical arrangement by 4Hero

Time

It’s time
It’s time… little sparkle in my eye
To fly
It’s time… little sparkle in my eye
To fly
To fly

Please… Yahweh… many named
Don’t make me go to the other side
Why?
Haven’t I been a good child?
Why?
Haven’t I been a good child?

Angels mourn me
Fallen angels beckon me
As… Satan waits to press me into service
I don’t deserve this
Curse his heavenly betrayal
Sell my soul hold my fate in omni hands
Scatter my purity like the sands of 12 tribes
While I hide in this flesh vessel
Given me
Will she protect me?
Will she neglect me?
Some… thing, like false security
These, these words of love
Soft belly rubs
This wet warm
This fetal form
My scorn becomes need and no condition
And innocent… seems like years from God’s eye…
To birth’s first cry

Alive… Alive, Alive… Alive
Alive… Alive… Alive, Alive… Alive

My mortality realized now human child
Now… miles ahead and miles away
I still feel betrayed
Mother’s milk though somewhat hot, sweet and loving
But nothing
No, nothing like Manna
Scanned the planet for my Earth nurse
Traversed universe
Blessed unheavenly hearth with gift of me
I know she wants me… but evil’s henchmen hunt me
She’ll need an army to keep harm from me
Your impunity displeases me… as I grow
Their disunity seizes me
In time to be, I will cease to be
Yours… yours… yours… yours…

Four score and several centuries
Misery… not even a word
Blurred by the beam of Eden
But serpent’s scheming made them heathen
Serpent’s scheming made us heathens
Fate chiselers, renegades, resistors of the truth twisters
I want those demons screaming… under foot of hearkened angels
Demise won’t… be too… painful

I’ve learned Darwin’s theory well
Just an ism?
No, not while my inner schism has me in its grasp
Threatening to suck me like Cleopatra’s asp
Now I’m the one with loaded guns
Murdering other mother’s sons
Making devil swell with pride
As I ride Hades riverboat
Choke on the blood of my victims
Sin, my one desire
Stoke the fires of hell
I’m in the belly of the beast
Peace… an anomaly
Covenant’s ark… an Indiana Jones myth to me
I join the rest to spit and pee… on your memory… your legacy… your love for me
Maybe…
You’ll have someone put a bullet in my heart
Start my journey
No, not to kill me
Just to wake me
So I surrender
So I remember the wealth of my name
So I remember the wealth of my name

My names have been… Jesus and Moses and Mohammed
I see Heaven and Canaan and Mecca
My names have been… Jesus and Moses and Mohammed

I see Heaven and Canaan and Mecca
I see Heaven and Canaan and Mecca
On my return
As I return
As I return
As I return
As I return
As I return

-Ursula Rucker
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:59:11 AM
Thank you blitznboltz... and welcome. It's a great pond :)
Please feel free to plant seedlings,
water the ground
fertilize at will...
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:28:41 PM
Time for a little mythological fertilizer,
one of the many poems I have loved.
This tree needs the occasional infusion of external nutrients, after all...

Medusa
........by Patricia Smith

Poseidon was easier than most.
He calls himself a god,
but he fell beneath my fingers
with more shaking than any mortal.
He wept when my robe fell from my shoulders.

I made him bend his back for me,
listened to his screams break like waves.
We defiled that temple the way it should be defiled,
screaming and bucking our way from corner to corner.
The **** goddess probably got a real kick out of that.
I'm sure I'll be hearing from her.

She'll give me nightmares for a week or so;
that I can handle.
Or she'll turn the water in my well into blood;
I'll scream when I see it,
and that will be that.
Maybe my first child
will be born with the head of a fish.
I'm not even sure it was worth it,
Poseidon pounding away at me, a madman,
loosing his immortal mind
because of the way my copper skin swells
in moonlight.

Now my arms smoke and itch.
Hard scales cover my wrists like armor.
C'mon Athena, he was only another lay,
and not a particularly good one at that.
even though he can spit steam from his fingers.
Won't touch him again. Promise.
And we didn't mean to drop to our knees
in your temple,
but our bodies were so hot and misaligned.
It's not every day a gal gets to sample a god,
you know that. Why are you being so rough on me?

I feel my eyes twisting,
the lids crusting over and boiling,
the pupils glowing red with heat.
Athena, woman to woman,
could you have resisted him?
Would you have been able to wait
for the proper place, the right moment,
to jump those immortal bones?

Now my feet are tangled with hair,
my ears are gone. My back is curving
and my lips have grown numb.
My garden boy just shattered at my feet.
Dammit, Athena,
take away my father's gold.
Send me away to live with lepers.
Give me a pimple or two.
But my face. To have men never again
be able to gaze at my face,
growing stupid in anticipation
of that first touch,
how can any woman live like that?
How will I be able
to watch their warm bodies turn to rock
when their only sin was desiring me?
All they want is to see me sweat.
They only want to touch my face
and run their fingers through my....

my hair

is it moving?
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:24:10 PM
The incredible shrinking Goddess

Oh yin, wherefore art thou?

beaten to submission
shamed into sedition
stripped of all volition
sisters in suspicion
blame an imposition
no more disposition
for parturition

… trained collaboration
in our degradation

little wonder yang wanders
so lost in the woods
without his dear goddess
to show him the goods

what cosmic balance
stumbled astray
when acts of creation
became just a lay?

… to bring our mission
to fruition

find holiness in density
celebrate immensity
seek our true identity
embrace our propensity
for corporeality
with eternity
and ferocity


&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:22:38 PM
Gratitude

I strain to reach
a frequency never known
born into a climate
of marital strife
or was that martial?
missiles launched daily
untold collateral damage
burning oilfields
belching out toxic effluvia
vast shelves of ice
falling into my sea
on a daily basis
drowning in salt tears
my thirst for acceptance
will kill me
if i dare to drink
from this poisoned well
seems like it took forever
for the outside world to catch up

I surrender to the present
tiny increments of comfort
a good cup of coffee
clean sheets
the smell of cut grass
a place to be heard
every moment an opportunity
to manifest healing


&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:19:30 PM
Shards

don’t come any closer…
that region around my heart
has taken a lot of direct hits
now it’s all bent and buckled
brittle shattered
sharp and pointed
could be dangerous
anyone I hold close could get hurt

.............and then I’d have to feel it all over again.

I keep the edges covered
in frost and down
but sharp!
they slice through all softness
..............feathers everywhere

I need a blast-furnace of a man
who knows the melting point of glass
who doesn’t mind
the smell of burning hair


&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:13:03 PM
I had this Aussie Shepherd... magnificent creature
not well adapted to city living. He needs to run, daily...
my schedule wasn't working too well for him
and the dog-walking bills were getting WAY out of hand.
Some dear friends moved to Ontario to live on a farm, birth babies, and build their dream
they wanted a dog like mine,
they offered to adopt.
He lived with them for the summer, loved being on a farm.
It was decided.
They bought a farm out east, moved there three months ago,
with my 2-year-old god-daughter and her brand new baby sister
and my dog.

He's started biting people
he's a good guard dog
but needs strong boundaries.
He bit the local insurance adjustor
now the neighbours are up in arms
and they've been refused insurance
unless my boy is either tied up all the time
or put down.

I'm going to get my dog.

He's a brilliant teacher, this dog.
They'll need to know about boundaries
especially with a two-year-old in the house
and another one close on her heels...
I guess his lessons there are done
and it's my turn to learn at his feet once again.

 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:06:41 PM
Loki, you B*stard

You again, with the penetrating blue eyes
you seem to inhabit those temples
more often than not
that guileless look you’ve perfected
makes you easier to recognize
each successive lifetime

funny how a distant memory
will stop me in my tracks
a sudden vacuum in my heart
breath suspended
in a timeless moment
of technicolour lucid dream

I was Brynhild to your Viking warrior
that one time anyway
a lusty saga of epic ribaldry
then the howling clash of betrayal
true, the shrieking was mostly me
I never did like sharing much

primordial anamnesis
time before time itself
never had the stars
witnessed a love so pure
garbed in feathers of rainbow
we sang worlds into existence

drawn by beauty into alluvial canvas
ensnared in temporal perversity
kind of amusing at first
all those density jokes
then they got old real fast
as we spiralled into impenetrability

later, when it all went pear-shaped
and we shape-shifted in desperation
I started to resemble
some behemoth of a dragon
and you in all your cyclopean glory
well, I loved you still

even when you ate my children
I might have smashed a mountain range or two
and uprooted a few forests
still I loved you beyond all reason
I always was a sucker
for a man with a mighty hammer

your gaze ancient beyond the stars
deeper than any ocean trench
yet curiously enough
you claim not to remember
any of those old stories
as your spirit slowly winks at me

memories raddled and cobwebbed
dizzy from this karmic ride
I take you to see Constantine
and you look at me quizzically
why do those ancient names
have such resonance, you ask

my heart knows you, yet again
you know me too, perhaps too well
you see me now and feel echoes
of trespasses long extinct
I see you and feel the sorrow of apostasy
though you insist you’re not going anywhere

still I burn with unrequited yearning
I dreamed I was waiting for someone
who got here a decade late and a dollar short
your blue eyes filled with blazing promise
only you don’t see past the veils
easy for you to say no, not in this lifetime

caught in my human cycle
it’s not hard to feel alone here
you’re back again, ever the cosmic tease
slowly the lesson dawns on me
outside of this temporal cage
we have never been apart

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:55:47 PM
Thank you Brolga, for sharing such eloquent words...
I see those patterns too
even more so when this human shell
craves rest...

tomorrow brings another journey
I'm driving to Nova Scotia
to bring home my estranged puppy
he needs his alpha goddess...

I'll repost a few more poems, then I'm off to dream, perchance to sleep ;)
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:50:15 PM
I weep

some people sing in their cars
some talk on cell phones
Apply lipstick
smoke
pick their noses

I weep when I drive
push the pedal to the floor of my heart
needle in the red zone
engine seizure imminent
lungs backfire with sobs
that seem laced with hydrocarbons
grief so ancient
black soot
might be pre-cambrian
maybe from a birthing star
or solar system

some people drive fast in the slow lane
some drive slow in the fast lane
some drive all over the damn highway
giving old ladies heart attacks
insensate in metal skin
babies overboard
heated rubber
smells like hell down here

grinding gears
shifting years
signals failing
up against
the wailing
wall

air bag kills child of ten
story at eleven
a dozen reasons
every minute
every tick
of odometer

effortless flight
over miles of asphalt
a cruel reminder
of wings once dreamed

I weep when I drive
and no one notices
not even when I have my windows open


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:47:32 PM
Bodhisattva at WalMart

Trapped by a vow,
an imprint lingering
in the helical coils
of akashic DNA;
a warm handprint
on the steering wheel of life.
I look around me,
every surface mirrored
Is that how my hair looks?
Gods, how many more
lazy @ssholes will it take
before I finally know
that’s not my face in there.
What lives under rocks
seeks only darkness
while freedom lies
just beyond the edge,
corrosive like ozone
to the tender surfaces.
Tiny radio antennae
feeling all pain in all places
every era,
fear a living throbbing thing
a mouse in my chest pocket
I soothe the tiny fragile beast
with a bit of cheese
and cornflakes.
What does it take
to feel safe around here?

I purchased a return ticket,
must have been millennia ago
You didn’t read the fine print?
Not my problem…
Although the radio antennae
are practically melting.
I can show you
where to join the queue
even how to jump it.
But you can’t have my place.


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:44:50 PM
Old Friend

Free to dance
Amid phonemes of ancient rime
Barnacle encrusted underbelly
Ponderous with slime
What grace lives there
Within this carcass
Your actinic glare
Makes shadow melt
and cleave
With knifelike edge
While I grieve
The loss of innocence
Wielding primordial myth
Revelation laid bare
Whimpering with
Sting of betrayal
My creation perverted
Once beloved
Now skirted
By the angels
Ah, how we shimmied
Thru strands of time
Our brilliant mischief
Mere misconception
Today, forgiveness awaits
Patiently
While I berate
My cosmic lapse
of focus
this curse of density
oft humorous
as I dance free


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:43:57 PM
Sometimes...

Sometimes I wake up suddenly
Breath half caught
Damp and exhausted
Fighting battles in my sleep again
Receding images on my screen
Tattered wings dragging on wet asphalt
The sound of despair
Vast golden beings intertwined
In a passionate frieze
Was it love or war?
Echoes of ancient pain
ricochet between the strings of possibility
The choices not made
The path not taken
Was it me?
Was I the one?
Had I only…
If there hadn’t been…
But there it is
I emerge fully into consciousness
Ensconced in my edifice of shame
And time slowly gels
Back into thixotropic stability
Or something like it.
With gritty corners.
Now to face the day…
Every human interaction
Tainted with remembrance
A faint double image
An aftertaste like old honey and dust.
Sometimes I long for the peaceful sleep
of cats, or young children
But then I remember…
Too late, I’m already awake.


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:39:03 PM
Visible

how to choose
essence to share
which viscera
of soul to bare

… can you see me yet?

inner process
often bent
who knows where
composure went

… can you hear me now?

how I see me
is revealed
as every hurt
begs to be healed

… do you feel me yet?

wounded child
comes slow to trust
old promises
fragment to dust

… does it matter now?

work in progress
incomplete
what lies beneath
a promise sweet

… do you know me yet?

ego’s contract
writ in stone
these ancient sins
I must atone

… are we starting now?

every scar
a badge of shame
this mortal jaunt
a sordid game

… is it over yet?

humanity
in sad confusion
this sacred dream
a grand illusion

… must I stay here now?

temporal fugue
constructed spans
the moments lost
between the strands

… have I been counted yet?

the infinite
unbounded space
divinity
a state of grace

… is there love here now?

to be all one
the final goal
my temple healed
my spirit whole

… are we there yet?


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:37:05 PM
I begin with a seed
a single word

brilliant soundless exhalation
humid with potential
fractal gyration
kaleidoscopic iteration
sonically pulsating linga
tesseracting framed space
hypnagogic geometry, the face
of God, unfolding
wings unfurling
I am legion
I am.



 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:36:04 PM
I dedicate this space
with gratitude
to all those who welcomed me
into their threaded abodes…
Old Souls patchworking lines for the Mother all through our bloody ass history
and all the rest I have yet to explore

I feel my spirit ease somewhat
with each excursion into creative expression
and yet…
still…
I search…
for that elusive sense of
home.

my dreams oft filled with faded echoes
the glory of creation, sacred profanity
of surfaces all wizened with materiality

so here it begins, a liminal foundation
where fecund seeds may find expression
fertilized by inspiration
mythological

a place to plant my seedlings
water them with my tears
and joy
to watch them seeking blindly
through cathode rays
for the sunlit witnessing
of other souls
perhaps
like me.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 115 (view)
 
“Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.'”
Posted: 4/4/2007 5:29:57 AM
Thank you - one of my favourites from Margaret Atwood as well...
So many inspiring works in this thread, I thought I'd bring a little something to this potlatch.

A Tethered Falcon

My heart sits on the Arm of God
Like a tethered falcon
Suddenly unhooded.

I am now blessedly crazed
Because my Master’s Astounding Effulgence
Is in constant view.

My piercing eyes,
Which have searched every world
For Tenderness and Love,
Now lock on the Royal Target –
The Wild Holy One
Whose Beauty Illuminates Existence.

My soul endures a magnificent longing.

I am a tethered falcon
With great wings and sharp talons poised,
Every sinew taut, like a Sacred Bow,
Quivering at the edge of my Self
And Eternal Freedom,

Though still held in check
By a miraculous
Divine Golden Cord.

Beloved,
I am waiting for you to free me
Into your mind
And Infinite Being.
I am pleading in absolute helplessness
To hear, finally, your Words of Grace:
Fly! Fly into Me!

Who can understand
Your sublime Nearness and Separation?

-- Hafiz, rendered by Daniel Ladinsky
 
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