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 Author Thread: Does it mean you are settling if you say YES to Long Distance Romance?
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Does it mean you are settling if you say YES to Long Distance Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2011 4:36:35 PM
Is this person the 25 year old who's chasing after the 45 year old?
Long distance is relative, some people consider someone who lives across town long distance, others consider cross country long distance. When I met my SO on here we lived 500 miles apart. I never once considered I was settling. Just patient. It took 3 years but we got married last March. It's not a case of finding someone closer, more a case of finding the right person regardless of their geographic location.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Hug or shake?
Posted: 10/8/2011 9:28:43 AM
I'm a hugger by nature. When we meet we will probably shake hands but when we part I will always hug you goodbye. (Unless your name is Motown and i've been pre-warned that is a gun in your pocket and you're not just pleased to see me)
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Can a man be drawn in by her eyes first?
Posted: 10/8/2011 8:26:29 AM
When I meet people, men or women, the first thing I look at is their eyes. They will tell you most of what you need to know about them. If they are direct, mischievous, demure, or whatever, their eyes will reflect it, so in answer to your question, yes.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
dating long distance
Posted: 9/20/2011 2:25:19 PM
Why don't you mention your "boyfriend" of 11 months in your new profile which states you are looking for Mr Right.
How far away does he live? If you can't afford to fly maybe you could drive to see him.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Marriage and your spouses gay/lesbian friends.
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:27:45 AM
If you have trust in your relationship then your partner should be able to befriend anyone, straight or gay, male or female. My wife has a very close friendship with a gay man, she also has close friendships with some straight men and women. If I couldn't trust her with any of these people we wouldn't be married.
If your wife had a close friendship with a straight male would you have "allowed" her to see him. It shouldn't be any different than her having a gay male friend. You may think that you are not "possesive, jealous or controling in any way" but if you take a step back you may be able to see that's exactly how you come across.
Once the trust had left your relationship it was doomed. If your wife claimed nothing happened between them she may have been telling the truth but your possessive, jealous, controlling nature wouldn't accept that. You also say that " all the guys swore that they would not approve of thier wives, having a close gay male friend" How many guys are we talking about? It seems kind of close minded to have so many people feel that way.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 2553 (view)
 
Cinquain on the Membrane
Posted: 9/15/2011 5:44:00 PM
cowgirls
should be hogtied
out with the branding iron
no , i'm not being sexual,
am I?
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/14/2011 11:41:20 AM

...I'm somewhat tempted to go just for the sexual release,but I also feel like that would completely box me into closing myself off from forming a connection with anyone else....I guess it's the age old question of something you're familiar with vs something unknown....

You ask, we answer. You don't like the answer, buy a battery operated boy toy and take it wherever you want.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 762 (view)
 
Haiku Connection - Part IV
Posted: 9/14/2011 9:29:35 AM
small talk's all they got
big words hurt their brain too much
actions speak loudest.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 2543 (view)
 
Cinquain on the Membrane
Posted: 9/14/2011 9:16:38 AM
for fun
let's play dirty
like we do on the phone
this time i'll spray you with whipped cream
say ahhh.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 2541 (view)
 
Cinquain on the Membrane
Posted: 9/14/2011 6:29:05 AM
on top
with you beneath
doing all the hard work
receiving, reciprocating
till done
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 57 (view)
 
craigslist casual encounters- any real or all scams?
Posted: 9/13/2011 4:32:07 PM
I once went for a free "hoover with great suction". Imagine my surprise when they gave me a used vacuum cleaner. It's like we speak a different language or something.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Questions to ask a Woman on a Date
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:17:07 AM

- her divorce
- her income
- what she thinks she "brings to the table"
- whether or not the hot flashes make her ****y and if so, how often

and of course, my favorite "no, before you ask that's not a flashlight in my pocket"
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 8:55:46 AM
Motown, you sound overly hostile this morning, I think you could use a vacation with an ex.
Chinadol, I see you list you status as separated so I guess this ex you're talking about is actually your ex-to-be. Why did you break up in the first place? If the vacation is just for sex then it would seem hypocritical of you to judge the "slim pickings" out there that are just looking for the same thing.
Anyway, if this is just for sex you owe him the courtesy of telling him that because I suspect he's wanting more than just a rekindling of loins, especially if he's incorporating your anniversary into the vacation.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:59:02 PM
No. I can tell you from experience being a non church type myself that getting involved with a religious zealot will lead to many tiresome discussions that neither side can win. Find yourself a good non-believing woman so you have time to banter about more important topics, like football.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Travelling solo
Posted: 9/10/2011 9:53:30 AM
From a guys perspective some of my favorite vacations were when I went solo. Spain is a great place to visit if you can put up with all the Brits there. Most of the places i've been to in the caribbean seem to cater more to couples. Have you thought about a singles cruise, they can be a blast.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
E-baggage from online dating...thoughts?
Posted: 9/2/2011 6:30:53 AM
What would you call someone who was a serial dater irl? Just because people dated a lot doesn't mean they're dragging a trunk behind them. They have some real life perspectives about what to expect or not expect on a date. Not baggage, just real life experiences. On-line dating is biased by your expectations, and to some extent, what these forums tell you to expect.

This particular date really made me feel like I was a newbie to the online dating 'scene' and to be honest, I was rather intimidated. I felt like I was being 'sized up' and 'categorized'. She could easily spot red flags and categorize the women I've dated as husband shoppers, sugar daddies, etc. etc.

When I was dating I used to view first dates exactly the same. It didn't matter if they had been on-line for years or months, the first date was real life and I felt that gave me the advantage. I guess I wasn't on-line long enough to get jaded. If "veterans" do carry that kind of baggage I feel sorry for them. Maybe they should step away from the computer and smell the real world once in a while.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
oops sex on the first date
Posted: 8/30/2011 6:02:02 AM
Put yourself in his shoes, he had a great night, got laid, now he wants to follow up with you without sounding too excited. "Thanks for a great nite" is telling you he had a great night. If he came right out and also asked you for another date he'd be putting all his cards on the table which guys seldom do. He wants to know if you had a great night too. You have 2 choices, tell him you did and ask him if he wants to meet again or wait to see if he's a mind-reader.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Safety and no clear picture
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:40:37 AM
Five years ago I had a first meet with a pofer "Claire" for lunch at a local restaurant. I actually asked the person I met if she was Claire's older sister. The picture she had (and still has) posted on fish was 11 years old. We never had a second meeting.
Anyway my point is if he doesn't have a clear recent picture it's more likely that he's trying to hide some Quasimodo feature. As long as you're meeting in a crowded place you should be safe.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
being friends after you have had relations
Posted: 8/26/2011 5:54:38 AM

met a great man on this site.. however, after a month he tells me that it is not there

Usually you can tell after a few dates if it's worth pursuing (i'm not sure how many dates you actually went on) but I would say if he stuck it out for a month at least he gave it an honest try. You shouldn't even consider staying friends with him, as Procol said, when he starts dating someone else that green eyed monster will raise its ugly head. Next relationship you're in take your time. It's not a race to the wedding chapel. Let things take their natural course. I don't mean to paint this with the broad lint brush but by overtrying to make a relationship work you are giving control to the man. Your profile states you are looking for a husband, change it to looking for a friend, then work from there.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 368 (view)
 
Haiku Connection - Part IV
Posted: 8/25/2011 2:43:23 PM
Once called, 'way you go.
But we'll meet again someday.
Hope it's not too soon
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Textfree
Posted: 8/23/2011 1:41:35 PM
From your post on Misrepresentation

If I find out that they lied (for whatever reason), out of there and no more communication

Hmmmm. Believe it or not you're communicating with us.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Clingy or not interested...
Posted: 8/22/2011 5:58:04 PM
Maybe you could put it in your profile, "clingy types need not apply" (I wonder if clingy types know they're clingy)
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
My girlfriend of 4 years left me - is there anything i can do?
Posted: 8/22/2011 5:21:23 PM
The best thing to do is remember how you felt when she left. In 3 months, when she comes back, remember how you felt and ask yourself if you want to go through those feelings again. There are many more women out there who you will find to be a better fit for you. Many of us have been through what you're feeling, it's not the end of the world, it's just life.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
should I/shouldn't I... a moving in question
Posted: 8/22/2011 1:44:54 PM
I agree with RubyWaxxxxxx. If you like the place go for it. I don't see any problem with the ex being the previous tenant. (at least she's not an axe murderer) As you stated they never even lived there so there shouldn't be any deja vu moments.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Collecting dusts and writing ghosts, why?
Posted: 8/21/2011 7:13:38 AM
Just because your messages take 30 minutes to create doesn't entitle you to a response. I'd remove your rant about deserving better. Other than that..cool.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 8/20/2011 7:39:01 PM
You're 59 and the longest relationship you've been in is 4 years. I think you have bigger problems than serial dating. All your life you've probably always checked out other women, even when you're on a date, and if they give you the right signals, there you go. You probably also used to consider yourself a player. Most people grow out of this immature behaviour when they find their conscience. Then they may be capable of commiting to one person and be satisfied when they're out together that it doesn't matter what other women look like because the woman they're with is their woman...full stop.
You ask if it's an indication that the person you are dating is not the right one, or is it you? Yes, it's you.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Is he interested???? Should I say something????
Posted: 8/20/2011 7:12:18 PM
It may be wise to just meet up for lunch or ice cream one more time. Take the opportunity to find out if he's single, dating, available, then let him know your status. If that goes ok then suggest a movie.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What do you think of this friendship between Boyfriend and his single female friend??
Posted: 8/20/2011 10:27:44 AM
I'm curious why you have a 2 month old profile looking for a guy. Have you already given up on "Tom".
He should not be adverse to the two women in his life meeting if he has nothing to hide.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Meeting his Friends and bluring the lines
Posted: 8/17/2011 3:41:40 PM
You should be asking yourself what you want in the relationship then discuss it with him. If you're not looking for more than FWB tell him, he may already be thinking you're more than that but you two are the only ones who can figure it out.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
how do i attract an ex?
Posted: 8/14/2011 6:17:15 AM
Why would you want to change to attract anyone? You are who you are, if women don't like it they're not your best match. Unless you personally don't like something about yourself then stay the course, keep on looking.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Ladies and tattoos on breasts.
Posted: 8/14/2011 5:52:31 AM
No, I don't mind chickens, I eat them sometimes. What I don't understand is why someone would pose with one on their head in a profile picture. Downright tacky.
Color me old fashioned but I find it.....
Get the point, we all have preferences that aren't going to be similar otherwise we'd be a pretty boring group.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Haiku Connection - Part IV
Posted: 8/14/2011 4:18:09 AM
their love conquers death
so they may live once again
in the afterlife
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:09:36 PM
I met my WOW on here over 3 years ago and i'm happy to say she felt the same about me. Now they call us Mr & Mrs WOW.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 60 (view)
 
A debate about blowjobs
Posted: 8/13/2011 6:37:30 PM
I'd just like to add bj + braces = ouch
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
my wife has cheated , what and how do i move on,,, help
Posted: 8/13/2011 5:49:20 PM
You're not mad. Some women are just plain pigs, just like some men. Saying i've been there and telling you it gets better is all I can offer. You may feel crushed right now but you will get over it.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
staying in touch with exes...
Posted: 8/13/2011 4:59:10 PM
If I didn't trust my missus I wouldn't have married her. She's entitled to pick her own friends, including ex's.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Where to find male friends?
Posted: 8/13/2011 3:14:28 PM
I used to travel a lot with my job and made "friends" in just about every town I stayed in. Other than bars, restaurants are good places to strike up conversations with other men. I always wanted to find stuff to do in the place I was in and people usually like talking about their city and what it has to offer.( I met an artist when I was in Richmond and we got into all kind of trouble the week I was there). Also, how about where you work?
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
they (women) don't wanna talk about it?...
Posted: 8/13/2011 2:56:08 PM
I don't want to know about prevoius relationships because they're none of my business. If they want to talk about them, fine, but I don't offer or request any info on ex's. Ever heard the saying " don't ask the question if you can't handle the answer" Besides, they're what made us who we are today and if that isn't good enough...seeya.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Haiku Connection - Part IV
Posted: 8/12/2011 6:37:32 PM
life was more simple
so was I, so was the world
damn technology
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Ok, so there's this 18 year old at work that got me thinking
Posted: 8/12/2011 6:12:14 PM
I know what you mean procol, i'm the exact opposite. I'm kind of enjoying being a happily married 59 year old kid. At 18 I wasn't sweet or funny, I had way too much responsiblity piled on me back then. Now I feel i've finally arrived at a time when I can do crazy stuff without caring what people think. Not actually reliving my youth, more like living my youth.
 nonchurchtype
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Haiku Connection - Part IV
Posted: 8/12/2011 5:48:49 PM
needle and fester
sounds like somebody I knew
in another life
 
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