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 Author Thread: Do men get more picky as they age, or what?
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Do men get more picky as they age, or what?
Posted: 3/30/2013 9:52:16 PM
Everyone is picky, no one is going to want to spend time with someone they dislike. But in all honesty if all your looking for is an IE then why not hit up these young guys. Honestly your profile comes across a LOT slutty,(no offense, just being honest) which is a huge turnoff to most IMHO.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
We see a lot of topics about cheating, bu what about betrayal?
Posted: 3/29/2013 10:24:50 PM
"I think that knowing your partner has cheated is the entrance to the rabbit hole that digs deep and far reaching into a person's psyche, forever altering their trust in themselves and others."

N2AK49 is right, no better way to say it. Cheating is WAYYY worse. I have been betrayed by friends, it hurt, but never as bad as when I was cheated on. Not even in the same ballpark.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 3/28/2013 3:39:46 AM
" I knew it was going to be hell and it was. Nothing was going to happen between me and her that day."

The guy may have planned on a nice day, but in the end he was just hoping to get laid, the females on here are completely correct in their analysis. You got what you deserved my friend.... Karma is a ****. :P
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:44:59 PM
My question is if you dont know any of his friends and family HOW do you know what he is saying to them?

Something is weird here....

It doesn't sound to me like you need his help, it sounds more like you are pissed off at him and trying to punish him. He should by all means help with the child, but you need to be doing this for the child and not yourself in my humble opinion.
 VenomAC1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Kissing?
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:56:31 PM
I do personally.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Woman initiating first kiss goodnight....yeah or nay?
Posted: 3/4/2013 5:01:20 PM
"Can't I just say a kiss would nice and his inner Cro Magnon will just kick in?"

NO.... If you are with a slob maybe his "Cro Magnon" might emerge, but even guys like a little finesse at times. At least if he is a guy worth going on a second date with. Guys worth the effort don't have their "Cro Magnon" so close to the surface, you have to work on getting it out. LOL But after it emerges be careful. ROFL
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Woman initiating first kiss goodnight....yeah or nay?
Posted: 3/4/2013 4:38:24 PM
I think it is a great idea for the woman to initiate the process. I recently went out with someone that I would have loved to have kissed, but I was getting no signals that it would have been welcome so I did not even attempt to. Sometimes shy guys are very reserved at first and do not want to cross a line without permission. I think the example you used would be perfect. Let the guys know girls, touch his arm or lean on him at moments to relax the situation if you feel comfortable or attracted to him.

P.S. That would be a yeah. LOL
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do numbers matter?
Posted: 2/26/2013 5:48:51 PM
Past mistakes follow you throughout life. I don't judge someone for their choices(not my place), but I do choose not to be with someone who makes a lot bad choices, chances are they will continue that trend throughout their lives. Everyone can change and grow, but you do have to live with the choices you have made.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
He says he cares not I love you
Posted: 2/17/2013 4:29:45 AM
It was nothing other than fear on his part. Men fear any woman getting pregnant before both are ready because an unplanned pregnancy can ruin lives on both ends. It was BOTH of your faults for letting this happen before you we BOTH ready, there is no excuse. You should not be together, period, because this will probably happen again. The relationship is over because the trust is gone. Sorry to sound so harsh, but to me the ultimate irresponsibility is bringing a child into this world before both are ready to. You are doing a disservice to the child.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Christian?
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:37:19 PM
This post is going to go nowhere but down hill. LOL What is the old saying, don't talk about religion and politics with people you don't know? LOL But for me personally I list myself as spiritual, mainly because most religions are not of God, religions are of man and man alone. God teaches us to love one another and tolerance, MOST religions teach hate and in-tolerance. I commune with God everyday, why would I need a go between?

P.S. I have seen many people that don't believe in God that live a more decent life than anyone that believes in God. That's why judging someone is useless, because if you believe, than you know only God can judge. No one has ANY right to judge another, live and let live in peace.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Favorites??
Posted: 1/31/2013 5:48:31 PM
"Is a guy adding you a way to hint that they like you but want you to message them first?"

^^^^This^^^^ In most instances, thats what I do with it because I am initially pretty shy. If they don't message me after 1 week, I know they were not interested and un-favorite them and move on. I do favorite some to keep up with what they post, mainly because its either funny or wise post they make. You are a very good looking woman and I imagine that you would get a few favorites because they would be hesitant to message you. Women have that flirt feature, men don't.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Would you date a woman in this situation?
Posted: 1/31/2013 2:42:05 PM
ineedfun2010, you are doing the right thing. Keep on doing what is RIGHT. There are sooooo many jaded and cruel people on this site that will cut a person to shreds for doing what they believe to be right. It is a good idea putting off the dating thing until this situation is over. But you ARE doing the right thing.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:09:26 PM
"seems all the good ones are in the UK"

Isn't that the dang truth, seems like every woman that I would consider talking to is in the UK just about. LOL What in the crap is in that water there?
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:05:36 AM
I feel you pain brother. I was married for 20 years to my high school love. I don't have a CLUE on how to date either. Dated maybe 10 girls before I meet her and no one since the divorce. I have had plenty of offers, just none that makes me want to get back on that horse. Hopefully one will come along one day, but until then gonna have some fun being by myself. Don't be so quick to jump back into the pool. LOL
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Single 30 Year old Father & Scared.
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:30:31 PM
"Honey Boo-Boo should scare you to death."

AMEN LOL
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
AS A SINGLE DAD HOW DOES A MAN COPE WITH ISSUES OF CHILD NEGLECT FROM THE MOTHER
Posted: 1/21/2013 5:30:25 AM
Giggles, the father might not have lived up to your expectations in life. Most people never do. But if you keep putting that hatred into your childs mind about ANYONE(especially their father), that will be all you will get back out. We reap what we sow. Sometimes we have to let the pain go and teach our childen to love, otherwise when they get older they will become just as hateful. Teach your child that you have enough love for both parents and in the process teach the child that forgiveness is the key and your child will forgive you for all the mistakes we as parents make while raising them, and there WILL be many. I have raised 2 now to 17(twins), there are soooo many things I wish I could do over again and correct my mistakes. But I have taught them that no one is perfect and to forgive and love one another, I hope that carries on with them throughout life.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why do guys add me as a FAVORITE & then never msg me?
Posted: 1/21/2013 5:14:37 AM
Favoriting someone is like the women's flirt option on here or a Wink option on another site.
Me personally, I have favorited a few before just to show interest because I am a shy type person. If they dont send a message within a weeks time I un-favorite them.
I only have 1 person favorited permanantly, and that is because I love reading the changes to her profile and her forum post, her writing is funny as hell sometimes.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Letting older child babysit
Posted: 1/17/2013 5:33:26 PM
I think you are doing the right thing personally. I always admire someone that puts their family first. They are old enough now to stay on their own for short time periods. But believe it or not your children see that you are putting them first and will respect you for it.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Single Mothers
Posted: 1/13/2013 12:55:29 PM
No, they spell it out because SOME guys ARE dumb. Just like they have to put on the side of a McDonald's coffee cup"Contents hot". Nothing against guys/women that don't have children, but they do NOT have a clue in the world when it comes to dating when you have children. It really makes me laugh when they start saying"well I have nieces/nephews" ROFL. The scheduling alone makes it almost impossable to date, they just don't want to waste their time on someone that can not understand that. Doesn't bother me a bit when someone places that on their profile, I have more respect for them if the kids always come first, because they should.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
baby,sexy,hun, honey
Posted: 1/1/2013 7:01:46 PM
I call women "sweetie" all the time, along with Ma'am and young Lady. Pretty much anytime I am out and purchase something or ask a question I will say "thank you sweetie" when leaving. I think it is a southern thing mostly. There is never any disrespect when I have said it, I am just saying thank you and being a little more personable. I have NEVER had anyone complain to me about it, or tell me not to call them that since I am not trying to hit on them. I would personally think if a woman had a problem with it they should stop thinking so much of themselves. To a lot of men it is just being polite where I live. Although I am kinda old fashioned. I grew up in a time and town where everyone called each other Hun or Sweetie or something to that effect. Too many people these days take offense to the weirdest things. Would you rather them call you something degrading? LOL

P.S. I think being called sexy or baby is out of line because they are disrespectful in certain situations, but Hun or Sweetie is fine. I have women call me Hun or Honey all the time in stores or resturants.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Awkward situation
Posted: 12/28/2012 3:53:51 PM
" Hopefully he will keep shut and agree. (If the situation arises)"

So your solution is a lie and hope the Ex lies also? Yea, that's a good way to start a relationship.*sarcasm*
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What does it take?
Posted: 12/26/2012 5:45:40 AM
Usually the only thing that would stop someone like that is a bullet.

According to your profile your kids still live with him, why? Would he do this to your kids?
Why are you on a dating site trying to date someone when you have this going on in your life? Are you trying to get them killed also?

If this is true, get a restraining order and a concealed weapon permit and carry a gun on you at all times. Seen this many times before. Police hands are tied without proof, if he hits you call the police that second, not 2 days later.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Broken Heart ( Connecticut)
Posted: 12/18/2012 7:06:26 PM
The world doesn't have Gun issues, it has humanity issues.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What are guys truly looking for?
Posted: 12/18/2012 3:41:47 AM
"What are guys truly looking for?"

The "ONE".

Bad thing is you never know who or what to look for until you meet her. Then you realize that is what you were looking for the whole time and it was so obvious. All anyone can tell you is what they are NOT looking for and even that goes out the window sometimes when the "one" walks in.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
tug of war with my son
Posted: 12/16/2012 8:09:10 PM
Be aware also, especially if he has no other male figure in his life, that he is or will be going through his hormonal change soon. Boys around the age of 14-16 start to have hormone rushes(what I used to call them), where they will start to test their limits and independence. This happens to girls around 12-14(at least it did with my daughter) since they mature a bit faster. During this time he will be pushing up against EVERYTHING anyone tells him. He is crossing that thresh-hold from a boy to a man (at least physically)and doesn't quite know how to handle it. Mine was horrible when I was that age, I bucked up against ANYTHING my parents told me to do. I was a good kid and half the time didn't even know or realize why I was arguing with them. Thats why boys need a strong male figure during that time to keep them in check. No differant than when female Elephants kick out young male bulls to go be with the male herd. LOL
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Would love some guy input on this!!!
Posted: 12/13/2012 2:26:47 PM
SHE told you all of this?? Did you ask him about it? What was his reply? There was no chance this might have been a crazy Ex trying to ruin his life?

I am just curious why you took the word of this woman you have never meet before for the gospel/truth?
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dating Sites.....men and women
Posted: 12/12/2012 5:01:49 PM
That is EVERYONE until they meet that "ONE" they will give up their independance for.. That ONE that made you feel you couldn't live without and you would give everything to be with. Honestly how many dates did you go on when you were younger until you found the "ONE"? I dated MANY girls until I found my future wife, sometimes a few girls at the same time until my young and stupid butt figured out that was a horrendously bad idea, but I was young, what could I say. Simple fact is, young or old, it will take you MANY dates again to find the new "one". Sometimes people forget how the dating era in their early years was. I still haven't dated over 2 years after my divorce, mainly because I HATED dating back when I was young and even when you are older its still the same crap. Thats why I am toooo damn picky now. If I date again it will be a miracle. LOL
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Piece of advice concerning kids.
Posted: 12/5/2012 3:47:28 PM
Bebe, it is very amusing that you are jumping to all of these conclusions from a simple question and having absolutely NO IDEA of what happened in the marriage or the way things were afterwards. Granted I have not posted exactly what has happened, but if you looked at my previous post history I am sure you could figure it out. But even so, I still think she is a good mother and a good person.
If you did not see it, go re-read my original post AGAIN, like I stated, I talked to her MANY times about this issue. Both of us agreed right after the divorce that the kids could decide who they wanted to stay with and we would not guilt trip them(she is guilt tripping them A LOT right now). I guess that agreement only applied as long as they choose to be at her house? Like I stated, I live a mile down the road and the kids go back and forth at will if they want. They could live with her and it would not bother me a bit, I love them and they know that, and would visit me often. This was originally only temporary(and may still be only temporary) because she and her brother wanted to spend time playing World of Warcraft together with their friends. My daughter and son loves their mother to death, but IS surprised at how she is acting towards her lately. I encourage them to go see their mother EVERY DAY. The reason they choose not to is because she is angry and cold since then. I had enough respect for her to give her a heads up and try to head this situation off at the pass. I have tried to reach out to her MANY times since, and she is not receptive AT ALL. But I will not let anyone talk to me disrespectfully, if she wants to talk calmly and constructively I am all for it. When you speak with someone and start screaming and yelling it kinda makes people not want to listen don't you think? :)
As for my daughter, I WILL NEVER make her feel like she is not wanted at my house, this is her and my sons house just as much as their mothers house is theirs. Like is stated before, they have free roam to run back and forth as far as I am concerned.
One of the biggest complaints about me from my kids was, why was I always taking up for their mom when their mom was so insulting towards me(not my words, this was the kids). I told them that I had enough respect for their mom and her abilities that I would not disrespect her like that, and neither would they. I also informed them that if you disrespect another for no reason then you have very little self-respect in my opinion. I try to set a extremely good example for my children, I don't drink or smoke(or anything else), I make them do chores and clean up after themselves, I am VERY strict on them in some ways, not so much in others. I above all try to teach them to respect others, even when they are disrespected to an extent. Set the example by the way you live, not the way you speak. But I, just like all parents, make mistakes. I told the kids that the reason me and their mother is divorced was equal mistakes on both of our parts. But allowing my daughter to come live with me was NOT one of them. Just like I would never blame their mother for having her door open for them to come live with her.

Can someone inform me on how to get this thread deleted, it has passed its usefulness and starting to decline in value or become disrespectful.

Moderator, if you see this thread can you please delete it?

Thank you all for the advice.
 VenomAC1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How much do looks play vs personality?
Posted: 12/5/2012 3:49:54 AM
I would honestly say that looks and personality are a 50/50 thing. There is no "phase" where looks cease to matter to a person. Mainly because you have to be attracted to someone to want to know their personality. Looks are the initial draw, personality is what keeps someone. The lucky thing for ALL of us is that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I find attractive in someone others do not. I am 43 years old and I have seen throughout my life that as much as women gripe about this issue, they are by FAR the worst with it. Most older men(30+) don't care what type of car a woman drives or what type of job she has as long as she is attractive to them and has a nice attitude. With most woman I would say the money/possessions factor in as much as the looks/attitude. It is completely ok though, its in our DNA i think.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Piece of advice concerning kids.
Posted: 12/2/2012 8:59:53 PM
Bebe, are you sure that is what you smell? hehe I did discuss this with their mother before my daughter moved in on several occasion, if you had read what I had posted then you would have seen that young lady. :P Kids can live at my house or hers as far as I am concerned, so no power struggle on my end.

Carolann: I am not sure what is causing her mood change, I don't have a lot of contact with her anymore. Like I said, I understand her being hurt about my daughter moving in, but I didn't expect her to be so cold/weird towards them. She was always a FABULOUS mother. She still is I believe deep down, maybe she will realize how she is acting. The kids are pretty level headed and mature, but they are very disappointed right now. I don't want to "make" the kids go spend time with her, that would just make them resentful of her AND me I think. I encourage them to A LOT..

Thanks for the advice all. I think for now I will just let it ride and see how it works out, its only been about 4 weeks. Maybe she will come around and realize this is no big deal and if she would chill out the kids would hang with her more.

P.S. The kids will not be allowed to jump houses just because they are mad at one or the other parent, I have always made sure of that. This issue with the Ex did not pop up until the day after my daughter moved her computer in, she always had half of her stuff here anyway for when she spent weekends. I guess her moving her computer in made it feel more permanent to the Ex, even though they are both 17 with drivers license and cars and can go back and forth pretty much whenever they want.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Piece of advice concerning kids.
Posted: 12/1/2012 7:38:13 PM
I am hesitant to ask because I don't ask things like this on message boards usually, but I am at a lose anymore.
Me and the Ex got divorced a little over 2 years ago. After the split I had to live with my parents for about 6 months until I got everything settled and could get a place of my own, the kids lived with the Ex most of that time. When I got my own place my son moved in with me and my daughter was with me almost every weekend, but she lived with her mother. Everything was peaceful and me and the Ex got along for the most part as far as communication/financial with the kids and were actually acting like friends. She had a BAD habit though of hanging out with her friends and going on dates and canceling plans she had with our daughter and it was starting to aggravate my daughter because she felt her mother was never home(I told her she would have to discuss that with her mom because we were not married anymore). I actually set down and informed the Ex on several occasions the way our daughter was feeling and that she was thinking about living with me for a bit(like I said, used to have good communication). She said she knew and that she was going to stop.
Well, snap forward to a few weeks ago. My daughter stated she wanted to live with me for a bit. I told her she was ALWAYS welcome at my house and that it was her home also and she should probably say something to her mother. She tried to talk to her mother I guess(from what I hear), but she wouldn't listen to her. So my daughter moved in with me for a bit(she and her twin brother are really close). Kids are 17.
Well, the Ex went off the DEEP END, even though my house is only like a mile down the road, not like it was across the country or something. I tried to tell her it was only for a bit and that the kids ran back and forth anyways whenever they wanted. She started yelling at me that"I got what I wanted" and now will not communicate about the kids at all. She is VERY short and rude with the kids also it seems most of the time. The kids feel uncomfortable going to her house because they said she is angry all the time. If they start saying negative things about their mother I put a stop to that ASAP. They know they will not disrespect their mother around me. I want and need the kids to maintain a good relationship with their mother just in case something happens to me. She was an fabulous mother when we were married, not sure what happened. To be honest I am completely astounded at her behavior lately.

My question for anyone that has been through this is: What should I do to keep their relationship in good standing? Should I just stop trying and let it sort itself out, or what? Because after being yelled at a few times I have told her that I will not put up with someone yelling at me anymore and that she knew where I was if she wants to discuss the children. We have not talked since shortly after my daughter moved in with me. Should I even try or let it go? I just hate to see them at odds and seeing how it bothers the kids.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
F it
Posted: 12/1/2012 6:34:25 PM
Brother, you need to take the advice of every woman that has posted on this thread and disconnect. I understand your fustration, but in reality all men and women do the EXACT same thing, including you. If you don't, go look up the ugliest woman on this site to you in your area and ask her out just to "give her a chance" based on what she MAY be like on the inside. I lay money you wouldn't because the attraction has to be there.
Simple fact is it takes time to clear your head after a heartbreak, so far I am going on 2 and a half years without trying to date anyone. I get asked out A LOT(not sure why to be honest), but I turn them down because I dont feel I could bring anything to the table quite yet, but I am considering it now. I do realize that I am becoming my old goofy self again and women seem to love that.
You need time to love yourself and learn to live alone, you are NOT there yet. Being alone isn't so bad I have come to see, its kinda fun to be honest.

Good luck.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Gonchies to bed?
Posted: 11/18/2012 6:47:18 AM
And they say Men have a problem with communication? LOL :P
 VenomAC1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Wants to date but nothing serious.
Posted: 11/17/2012 1:22:03 PM
" Not ready for a relationship but needs to get out of the house once in a while?"

Thats what it would mean to me. I have "Looking for relationship" on my profile. Does that mean the first woman I go out with will be "the one", or the first how ever many women? No, it means I am looking for a relationship that means more than a romp in the hay. I was married 20+ years, I will NOT jump back into something to just be "in a relationship". Don't see myself married again, but I can always hope I find a woman worthy of me and me worthy of her. Any of those status quotes means what the person wants it to mean, ask them.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why do married people say this?
Posted: 11/9/2012 3:57:56 AM
If you are male, it is our duty to tell your male friends never to get married. hehehe I have NEVER heard a female telling their female friends never to get married, UNLESS it was a divorced female, those I have seen break up good marriages because of their bitterness towards men. I have seen a divorced female break up their friends marriage more than once because they want someone to sulk in their depression with. So if you are a happily married female, stay away from your divorced friends. LOL

But in all seriousness. Men are happier unmarried and alone, most women are not, they want the fairytale. I was married for 20+ years, thought we were in it for life, until her divorced friends started telling her how great it was on the other side. LOL We had problems like everyone else and was always able to work through them for 20 years, until her divorced friends started talking to her and her divorced guy friends started hitting on her. Then they meant more than her family. Divorced people are a cancer on married people. Thats why I keep my mouth shut around my married friends. LOL Their relationship is their business, I always tell them to work that crap out and they would never want to go through a divorce.

I personally would never get married again, unless she was a goddess in my eyes. ;P
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
cant move on
Posted: 10/29/2012 9:49:34 AM
Tellah, it just takes time. I was married for 20+ years and dated her before marriage for 3 years, was friends for 3 years before that even(high school sweetheart).It devastated me and our kids when we split, I tried to get her to go to counseling for 6 months after our split until she admitted it was someone else, then I turned around and walked away. We are still friends now kinda, even though we don't talk much anymore, but we still get along for the kids. I still go through times of missing having someone around and that closeness, but I don't miss her anymore. I do miss the memories of what we had sometimes though. I haven't dated or seen anyone on a personal level since we split over 2 years ago, just recently starting to consider dating again. I have female friends at work always trying to set me up with their friends, I keep telling them its not time yet or I haven't found one that interest me. They keep saying when I go back on the "market" someone is going to be really lucky(LOL Liers). ROFLLLLL I am slowly starting to get a little confidence back, and starting to flirt alittle. You need to keep your distance for awhile so his memory can fade, hard to do when you have children though.

Time, thats all it takes is time. A LOT!! lol Good luck.
 VenomAC1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Help - Custody Issue
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:52:10 AM
I would say if there is no safety issues involved let the child make the choice. If you force him to live with you and he wants to be with his dad he will only end up resenting you. My son chose to live with me as soon as I got my own place after my Divorce, my daughter just recently moved in with me full-time. I know it has broken my Ex's heart so I encourage my children to go spend a couple nights a week with their mom, if they choose to it is up to them, neither me or the Ex force them into spending time with one or the other. To be honest, the Ex has spent more time with them since they both came to live with me than before, they go out to dinner with her more and shopping trips and such. I can just give them a more stable living environment right now(she works A LOT), I cook them supper in evenings and they have more normal life like before the divorce.
 VenomAC1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Any thoughts on fake smiles?
Posted: 10/7/2012 5:23:28 AM
I have been told I look pissed or like I am about to kill someone when I don't smile also. I have also been told by many people that when I smile and laugh that they adore it. I personally think that when I smile I look like an Axe Murderer. LOL I HATE when people give that fake grin or laugh. I would rather someone be real any day than fake. You can lay money when I smile(I do it alot, just not in pictures), it is genuine.

Yes, Duckface is stupid IMHO.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Bouncing back and forth
Posted: 9/19/2012 2:48:27 AM
Take her to court and get your daughter if she wants to live with you. Any parent that would FORCE their child to live with them when they want to live with the other parent isn't much of one in my opinion. Both of mine have chosen to live with me and my EX doesn't argue. We both agree it's up to the kids.
 VenomAC1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is there such a thing as true love past 40?
Posted: 9/3/2012 7:13:50 PM
"Is there such a thing as "true" love past 40?"

God I hope so. I had been with one woman since I was a teenager(over 23 years), thought she was the love of my life at the time until she left me for another. But she gave me 2 wonderful kids, even if things didn't work out between us, she is a good person I think, she just wanted a different life now.
But I hope I can find that again, I haven't given up hope yet. BUT I am not worried either. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't I thank God for the life I have had.

I DO believe in love at first site though. That doesn't mean that is the one you will marry. :P
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 31 (view)
 
privacy in a relationship??
Posted: 8/24/2012 3:52:52 AM
The problem with secrecy is no one ever can know the real you. My Ex used to tell me I had diarrhea of the mouth. LOL She said I was really reserved around someone when I first meet them but after I got comfortable with them they knew my life story(the good and bad), she was right. I told her i don't have secrets, secrets are the dirty stepchild of lies and deceit IMHO. I told her that ALL of my friends are true, because they make the decision to be my friends based on the REAL me. She is just the opposite, her whole life is based on deceit(half-turths/lies/secrecy), no one will ever know the REAL her because she keeps it hidden(even from me during our 20+ year marriage). She is a good person i think, just not trustworthy. That is the key to ANY relationship, TRUST. If there is no trust there is no relationship IMHO. Privacy is another issue, you journal is private, your hobbies are private, etc... I don't invade someones privacy. Everyone needs alone time sometimes.
 VenomAC1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 189 (view)
 
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/21/2012 3:48:00 AM
"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." -- Edmund Burke

I will never again be silent when a wrong is being done in my presence.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Weed smoking woman a turn off?
Posted: 8/20/2012 6:21:49 PM
It would be a turn off to me personally. Mainly because I would be nervous about taking someone out that carries around weed(which is ILLEGAL!!). If they have it on them in my car they can NOT be trusted to not throw it under my seat and claim it was mine. I have NEVER meet a drug user yet(and I have meet A LOT in my career, and YES, WEED IS A DRUG) that won't LIE THEIR ASSES OFF. Liers and people in denial are a bigger turn-off.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Would you date a man who owes child support?
Posted: 8/12/2012 9:20:24 AM
"Soldiers in uniform in the USA can be arrested by civilian authorities for civil matters? When I was in the military any such action would be referred to military commanders to investigate."

WRONG. I was in the military for quite a few years and we had members getting arrested for civilian matters all the time(Drunk in public, Assault, DWI, Murder). It still was sent to our Commanders to investigate, but military has no say on whether someone can be arrested or not when they are off of the Base.

Also, you have no idea what happened for this guy to get arrested(if it was even him, could have been someone with the same name). Simple fact is I would be more cautious of someone jumping to conclusions(like most on this thread), than someone getting arrested. Like someone above said, just because you got arrested doesn't mean you did anything wrong. What happened to Innocent until proven guilty?
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Have you ever respected a woman too much that you wouldn't date her?
Posted: 8/12/2012 7:30:00 AM
If it was BS or he was a coward he would have had sex with you. Since he turned down the sex I would have to say he is being genuine IMHO. You know your friend better than anyone here so I wouldn't put to much faith into what anyone here says. Trust your heart and use your brain as the filter.

He knows where he is mentally and if he is able to commit, sounds like he isn't.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Tell me why guys......go easy...lol
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:40:41 PM
What Winger said, and your profile and pictures screams HIGH MAINTENANCE.. Sorry, just saying, but you are a beautiful looking woman.

Good luck.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
The ex's family
Posted: 8/3/2012 1:22:13 PM
I still call my In-Laws Mom and Dad. Hell, I was married for 20 years and knew them for 26 years. They are almost as much my Mom and Dad as my biological parents. Me and the Ex still get along mostly and I go and help her parents when they need help with anything. I miss them a lot more than I do the Ex. LOL If I ever dated someone that had a problem with that they would be out of my life immediately, I have no room for hate or anger and will never turn my back on who I consider to be family or friends.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Not getting much interest from men - any ideas?!
Posted: 7/9/2012 2:24:19 PM
You show separated (i.e. still married), that would be why for me personally. You look attractive and all, and sound interesting. But I would personally NEVER ask a separated/married woman out, weather it be 1 year or 50 years separated.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Ex on POF ....
Posted: 6/27/2012 8:16:28 PM
Neither Men nor Women move on faster than the other, its the one that initiated the break-up that moves on fastest, because they were over it long before you knew about it. My wife wanted a divorce out of the blue(or so I thought) after over 20 years of marriage, we hadn't argued or anything in over 5 years other than mild disagreements, which we worked out. She ended up telling me she was involved with another man and that this had been coming for a couple years(didn't have a clue, or failed to see the signs) and she had never let on to it. I haven't dated anyone since the Separation/Divorce almost 2 years ago. Just recently starting to feel again and considering dating finally. Take time, it takes awhile to get over someone you cared about. But when you do you can proceed with a better understanding of yourself and the world around you IMHO.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
50/50 child access and step siblings
Posted: 6/24/2012 10:27:00 AM
Just tell them that they will have to take it up with the other parent and not be afraid to say what is on their mind to either of you. IF you are good parents you will listen, if not you will loose their trust. At least that's what I told mine when they were having problems with their mother or me.
 
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