Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Porn profiles too many
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Porn profiles too many
Posted: 6/12/2018 2:42:09 PM
I've never had this, so maybe its just you.

If you don't like dating sites, don't use them
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
rare sort of male
Posted: 6/10/2018 2:24:14 AM
Might be rare but rare doesn't always make it a good thing.

We all have strengths and weaknesses to our personalities, the best advice is just be the BEST version of you you can be.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Hit me
Posted: 5/7/2018 6:06:26 AM
There is basically nothing to review.

Only two pictures, one you're hardly in, and only two lines of text which doesn't say anything very interesting.

This is like turning up to a lake, sitting by the shore with no rod or bait and wondering why you arn't catching any fish. There arnt just going to jump out of the water onto your lap.

Try again and spend more than 2mins on your profile. Put some effort into the pictures and the text and then come back for another review.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Profile review (33 M) *clap clap*
Posted: 4/25/2018 11:37:40 AM
I would delete 'the ugly' section. It comes across as bitter and like you have a lot of baggage.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Back in the game, need some help
Posted: 4/8/2018 2:25:49 AM


but it seems like something on my profile is scaring people away.


You arn't smiling in any of your photos, which makes you look scary.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Let's Review, Shall We?
Posted: 3/25/2018 9:44:25 AM
Bump (one review per person)
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Am I Worthy??
Posted: 3/19/2018 10:03:42 AM


It's kind of funny how you can see women out in public with men wearing hats all over the place, yet people here act like having a hat photo is the kiss of death. Where do you all get this crap from?


It's not a kiss of death, but this IS a profile review forum. If you come her asking for how to make your profile better, then you have to expect that someone is going to suggest new/better photos. If a woman came on this forum with a big hat covering her hair, I'd probably say the same.


OP
If you are a 'hat guy' that's fine, but as I say make sure the main photo is the best possible photo of you in a hat you can get. The current one isn't great, too dark.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
What do you think of my profile?
Posted: 3/18/2018 8:21:38 AM
Bump, only one post each.


Having to repeat myself


It reads more like a job application than a dating profile. Talk more about the person you are looking for. Try and mention dating a romance more. Research has shown (see Prof Richard Wisemanns book 'Quirkology') that the bets profiles have a 70:30 ratio, which means 70% of the word count should be about yourself, 30% should be about the person you are looking for. In real terms that means if you do 4 paragraphs one should be about what you find attractive in a partner and the kind of person you would like to be with.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Am I Worthy??
Posted: 3/17/2018 11:51:41 PM

Thank you for the advice!!
But, that's like asking a woman to take a good pic without her makeup on...


It's not really. A good rule of thumb is to look in your main pic as you would want to be seen on a first date in a nice restaurant. I would hope if you were going out for a nice date, and trying to impress the baseball cap would stay at home, and you might put on a shirt with sleeves. Same as most women would wear makeup on a date, they would probably wear makeup in their profile pic. It's about showing yourself at your very best.

Also women often see a man who wears a hat in every picture as 'he has something to hide' ie, your bald an embarrassed about it.

If you MUST have a hat on in your main picture, then get a better picture of you in a hat as the current one is too dark and the shadow covers half your face including the eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul after all.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile review request - no clue what Im doing wrong lol
Posted: 3/17/2018 7:41:34 AM
Your profile, isn't the worst by a long shot, but there are some simple fixes that could increase your chances on here.

1) Profile picture:
This should be a clear, bright/well lit smiling head shot. As it stands it it too small and too dark, when the size of a thumbnail (which it how it will come up the first time women will see it) it's impossible to see your face. Women are unlikely to respond if they can't decided if they are attracted to you or not, don't fall at this first hurdle.

2) The trump shirt
This will (obviously) be polarising, so it really depends on you. Is dating a fellow Trump supporter a total deal breaker for you? If so, keep it on, if not delete it, the choice is yours. Just remember what comes up constantly in surveys done with women, is that a big turn off in the early stages of dating is talk about politics. Let women get to know you, and get to know them, THEN discuss political views, not the other way around.

3) Clarity in text:



I believe in the adage "Work Hard! Play Harder!". I've been in sales my entire life and have worked my ass off since college. Now I get to hang out, meet new friends, and talk about vacation all day!

This makes it sound like you are no retired as you just hang out all day, is this true? If so change your profession to 'retired' is not clear this up. Also see if you can find another word other than 'ass', its vulgar and could be grating to some people. It may sound minor, but you catch more flies with honey.



I read A LOT!! Books (non-fiction), articles, blogs, you name it.

No....YOU name it, throw out some names of books you have read recently that you have enjoyed and have been a big influence on you and why. Not a long list, just 3 or 4.



Libra, INTJ, Irish-Catholic, Libertarian. I know that matters to a lot of y'all.

Actually it doesn't, very few people will know what the Myers Birggs tests are, in the number of people who will actually know what an 'INTJ' is will be really really really small. People who do know the test tend to just know their own category. Do you really think any reader is think 'Wow, an INTJ, thats the perfect guy for me' or 'Urk, not another INTJ, no way'. I highly doubt it, so it doesn't need to be their. As for Libertarian, see the above comment about political views.

4) Things to add.

Remember this is a dating profile, so talk more about dating. Talk about what attributes you find attractive in a woman, what it will be like to date you, what makes you special and unique and why a woman should date you over the millions of other guys on this site. Try and use words like romance, adventure and excitement if you can.


Hope that helps, good luck in your search.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
27 year old needing help, profile review
Posted: 3/1/2018 3:01:48 PM
Oh boy.

I've got to be honest, my suggestion would be to delete it all and start again.

You spend waaaaay too long talking about negatives and virtually no time talking about positives. If I say


DON'T THINK ABOUT PURPLE ELEPHANTS!


What do you think about? Even if I said not to.

If you say

"I never judge anyone by what they look like or what they believe in." Then what do you think goes in the readers mind?

"I believe that words are cheap, but actions speak much louder, so why bother?" So say something you have DONE that shows what a great guy you are. Currently it's like "I can't think of anything good to say, so here's a bunch of reasons not to date me" Then you seem confused as to why women wouldn't want to date you.

I've read it twice and honestly couldn't find any reason a woman would want to date you. Oh, yeah, sarcasm is reeeaaaaaal attractive quality. You don't know what you want or even if you will find it on here, way to make the reader feel special and feel as if you are invested in this process.

"Profession film'aholic" Does this pay the bills, and if so, how?


Also a good rule of thumb is to look in your main picture as you would on a first date in a nice bar/restaurant. Unless you would turn up to a first date dressed as captain jack, find a better photo.


Some questions to try and answer in your profile:

What makes you special and unique?
What does romance mean to you?
How does excitement and adventure fit into your life?
What are your hopes and dreams for the future?
Why should a woman date you over the, literally, millions of other guys on this site?
What can a woman expect on a date with you?
What attributes do you find attractive in a partner?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is he interested
Posted: 3/1/2018 11:04:29 AM
Here's an idea......

ASK HIM!

You are both grown ups, talk to him about it, get it out in the open how your are feeling before you go so you arn't worrying the whole trip about 'will we won't we'.

You are talking like a love sick high-schooler, be an adult about it.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Hi any help on writing a good profile would be great
Posted: 2/23/2018 10:20:10 AM
Bump your old review
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What do you think of my profile?
Posted: 2/20/2018 11:28:07 AM
I don't like to repeat myself but....



It's not 2004 and this isn't myspace, so you can get rid of the mirror selfies.

Solving the 'not being photogenic' issue is as easy as one google search and a couple of clicks.

https://www.gq.com/story/selfie-male-model-tips
https://improvephotography.com/19446/how-to-pose-for-a-selfie/
https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Good-Selfies

 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Any feedback appreciated
Posted: 2/16/2018 1:49:23 PM
It's not bad at all, I would recommend a few tweaks.

Photos.
Photos are nice. The main one is very formal but is of good quality, so it's up to you. I always asay a good rule of thumb is 'look in your main picture as you would want to be seen on a first date'. If you would go on a first date in a shirt and tie, keep it, if not, think about changing it up. You also need more variety in your photos, you have 3 photos and two are identical. There are 8 slots for a reason USE THEM It's your chance to show your personality. Have some shots of you doing things you enjoy, you say you do stand up, why no pictures of you performing? Or pictures of you out in the garden?


Text.
It's mostly well written and puts you over in a good light. I would consider rewriting the 'you' section. All the stuff in their is ok, but having a list like that makes it sound like you are ticking things off and comes over a little demanding. Re word it into a nice well rounded paragraph as you have with the rest of the text so it flows and follows on better. Remember to keep it positive so maybe "Don't get offended easily at a comedian's jokes." could become "I'm looking for someone who enjoys a good laugh and with lots of joking around" or something similar. Maybe rethink 'take care of yourself' this can come across as "no fatties" so maybe rethink what you are trying to say here.

Delete the 'random' bit at the bottom it adds nothing other than confusion.


Other than that it's a really good effort, be patent and keep putting yourself out there :)
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Review
Posted: 2/14/2018 7:16:02 AM
You guys can argue the benefits of smiling verse non-smiling all you like, the fact remains. OP that is NOT a good profile picture, there's is not smiling, then there is looking depressed.

Your profile picture is your one and only chance to make a great first impression, more than anything else it is what will get people to click on your profile/open your messages. SO DON'T BLOW IT!

Make sure that your profile is you AT YOUR VERY BEST. Something that shows off how attractive you can be and puts you (literally) in a good light. It really is work taking some time and effort into your picture, get a friend to take 100 if you have to then pic the best one, or selfies can work too.

https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Good-Selfies
https://www.gq.com/story/selfie-male-model-tips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbOpAsdmvBQ
https://www.yourtango.com/2016293370/6-selfie-tips-men-want-look-good-for-women-online
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What do you think of my profile?
Posted: 2/13/2018 7:30:02 AM
It's not 2004 and this isn't myspace, so you can get rid of the mirror selfies.

Solving the 'not being photogenic' issue is as easy as one google search and a couple of clicks.

https://www.gq.com/story/selfie-male-model-tips
https://improvephotography.com/19446/how-to-pose-for-a-selfie/
https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Good-Selfies


It reads more like a job application than a dating profile. Talk more about the person you are looking for. Try and mention dating a romance more. Research has shown (see Prof Richard Wisemanns book 'Quirkology') that the bets profiles have a 70:30 ratio, which means 70% of the word count should be about yourself, 30% should be about the person you are looking for. In real terms that means if you do 4 paragraphs one should be about what you find attractive in a partner and the kind of person you would like to be with.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
women only
Posted: 1/10/2018 1:30:08 PM
Every suggestion you have been give has just been thrown back.


Your profile is perfect. Change nothing.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
women only
Posted: 1/9/2018 1:26:20 PM
Couple of notes:

Copy and past form another site makes you look lazy.

Poor use of English/grammar/punctuation also makes you look lazy, like you don't want to put effort into your profile. Little things like capital letters can make a big difference.

'Disability' is not a profession

Selfies are take from unflattering angles, here are some tips on taking better ones.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbOpAsdmvBQ
https://www.gq.com/story/selfie-male-model-tips
https://www.menshealth.com/guy-wisdom/take-a-tasteful-selfie
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 12/16/2017 2:26:17 AM
Your profile picture is your best selling point, it needs to show you a your very best, so a good rule of thumb is look how you would want to be seen on a first date in a nice restaurant etc. Dressed well, well lit, smiling, well groomed etc.

If your profile pic is you in an old tshirt and a ball cap, don't expect women to be too impressed, just as they wouldnt if you turned up like that on a first date.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please review my profile
Posted: 11/25/2017 6:07:16 AM
Couple of quick points.

You have no full length photos, hard for men to decide if they are attracted to you or not.


There are a number or photos that have another guy cropped out, this gives the appearance of cutting out some ex you arn't quite over.




My two mottoes I live by:
1. TRUTH ALWAYS COMES OUT
2. KARMA'S A B I T C H

This makes you sound aggressive and bitter, no idea why you feel the need to express either statement on your dating profile.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Profile review request
Posted: 11/20/2017 9:27:31 AM
Far too many group photos, (personally I think is too many).

The only person women want to see is YOU. At best women will be thinking "wait which one is he?" at worst they may think "his friend is cute, I wonder if he's single"
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What am I doing worng
Posted: 11/20/2017 9:24:37 AM
My advice is the same as my last post



Other than that it's fine. Basically responses to your profile will not increase until your photos improve......so....


GET

NEW

PHOTOS!!!
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile Review Request
Posted: 11/19/2017 3:46:26 AM
Have you ever met anyone who DIDN'T enjoy spending time with friends and family? If you didn't like spending time with your friends, they probably wouldn't be your friends. It's like saying "I enjoy breathing in oxygen and converting it to carbon dioxide".

According to your profile you like friends and family, football and Netflix. This makes you exactly the same as 99% of every other guy on this site. You have to remember this is a competitive market so you have to think about what makes you stand out. What makes you special and unique? Why should a woman date you over the millions of other guys on here? Answer these in your profile and you may start to see better results.

The other thing you need to remember is this is a DATING profile, yet your text makes no mention of dating. Talk about what you are looking for and what it would be like to date you.

Women respond well to confidence, passion and romance, show these three in your profile text and things may well improve.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Review my profile PORFAVOR
Posted: 11/12/2017 2:15:10 PM
Shirtless photos are the hallmark of a douche of dating sites.... you have two of them. These will be HUGE red flags
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do you think the word ho is degrading to women?
Posted: 11/11/2017 1:22:10 PM


Do you think the word ho is degrading to women?


Yes


next question?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
No Replies?
Posted: 11/10/2017 10:24:58 AM
3 photos and 2 lines of text.

Can't see why women wouldnt got for that

Profile is perfect don't change a thing
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Do Be Do Be Do
Posted: 11/8/2017 9:48:20 AM
Probably not, it's much more likely to be your profile.

Some women like bigger guys.

Go to the Profile Reviews forum and people will help you get it in check :)
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Looking for opinions
Posted: 11/5/2017 10:59:11 AM

Honestly I've had plastic surgery on my face that left scaring. I have no confidence in my looks and fear a close up pic would do more harm than good so that's why I never posted one


Either post better pictures, or don't use a dating site.

"I want to go fishing, but my rod is broken, I guess I'll just have to hope the fish jump out of the water and into my hand" ain't gunna happen.


No matter what you look like, the best thing you can do is have recent, clear, close up photos of yourself. If you don't women will assume you have something to hide. No matter what you look like there will be someone out there who find you attractive. However, with no clear photos, you are not giving anyone the chance to be attracted to you. To continue the fishing analogy, any rod is better than no rod.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Talking for 7 weeks. Now she is on here.
Posted: 11/2/2017 11:16:47 AM
Not wanting to meet, always having an excuse, sending lots of photos, blocking and unblocking, wanting to be 'committed' but still not meeting, these are hallmarks of a Catfish, sorry.

Set her and ultimatum. Tell her if she is committed to you she needs to meet you, and if she doesn't it isn't going to work. Have a cut off point so say, no meet up in 2 weeks, cut off all ties. This may be hard for you as it's obvious you are smitten with her, but in the long run it's the best thing. Either you will have a committed real-world relationship, or you will be free from someone stringing you along.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Profile feedback
Posted: 10/30/2017 6:38:18 AM
Agreed, photos are BAD delete them all (maybe keep the alien one, its the best of a bad bunch)

Mirror selfies are only good if you are 13 and it's 2007.


Read some of these and see if they help.
https://www.gq.com/story/selfie-male-model-tips
https://www.menshealth.com/guy-wisdom/take-a-tasteful-selfie
https://uk.askmen.com/grooming/project/7b_how-to-look-good-in-photos.html
https://oureverydaylife.com/how-to-be-photogenic-for-boys-men-12544106.html
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Will he contact me or no?
Posted: 10/28/2017 11:43:58 PM
OP its been a couple of days, did he call/text?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Let's Review, Shall We?
Posted: 10/26/2017 1:03:02 PM
You have chosen an incredibly unflattering photo as your main. Your main photo should show you at your very best. A bad main photo is like falling at the first hurdle. It's the very first thing anyone will see, and is the reason women will or won't click on your profile, so why wouldn't you want it to be the very best it can be? You say your profession is social media, treat your profile like an account for a client (I'll be blunt, I paid someone to promote my business on social media, and it looked like your profile, I'd be asking for my money back).

Swearing in your profile is generally not a good idea, it will turn away more than it brings in, so try and find another phrase other then "I sh*t you not".


I'm INTJ, if that sort of thing interests you.

This will be meaningless to 99.9% of people, unless you are really hoping for that 1 in a thousand person who knows what this means, get rid of it. Instead replace it with saying what positive characteristics you, as an INTJ, has and some examples of how you show them.



As others have said, if you are getting messages don't change anything. If you are really looking to improve take this advise.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Your help is needed...
Posted: 10/26/2017 12:53:21 PM


I have done a lot of research recently and there are conflicting opinions on almost every aspect of setting your dating profile.


I would be really interested in seeing which piece of research led you to believe this would be a wise move.....



I'm not on here looking to score....


I know every****pic sharing, womanising player probably lists the below qualities in their profiles, but if you're ever lucky enough to get to know me, then you would know they are true of me.



Lets try this thought experiment....




DO NOT THINK OF A PURPLE ELEPHANT!




Now, what did you think of? Even though I told you not to.


If you mention d*** pics, womanising, players, only wanting sex, then what do you think women will think about? Don't tell women what you arn't tell them what you are! The other thing with this is, why does it even need to be said? It's like putting "I'm honestly am not a murderer". No one was thinking you were, until you felt the need to bring it up. Guys who arn't players, or have never been accused of being players, don't every feel the need to tell people they arn't players, beacuse it simply isn't a consideration.


No need to mention your past relationship, the number one turn off for women is guys who talk about an ex or pervious relationship, also makes it sound like your on a rebound.

Your height is in your stats by your age, no need to bring it up again.



As for what to put in:

What are you passionate about?
What are your hopes dreams and goals for the future?
What makes you special and unique?
What are your fav 3 movie/bands/books/artists and why are they important to you?
What does romance mean to you?
What would it be like to date you?
What do you find attractive in a woman? (Personality not looks)

This doesn't have to be "long winded" 8-12 sentences tops, shouldn't feel to much for a guy who descries himself as intelligent.


As for the pictures, they are ok, but try and get rid of group shots, and photos that clearly have other people cropped out. Keep the attention on you and only you at all times. Photos should show you at your very best, it's it's not flattering, don't put it up, save those for facebook.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why is BBW a euphemism for morbidly obese?
Posted: 10/25/2017 5:56:56 AM
OP you call yourself "a few extra pounds"

"few" by definition means 'a small number'. To be at a healthy weight for your height my guess is you would need to lose a lot more than a "few" pounds. You probable have a "few" extra pounds just under your first chin!

People can call themselves what they feel comfortable with, be so judgmental unless you want people to judge you too.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Seeking profile review....(and long walks on the beach?) ;)
Posted: 10/10/2017 4:26:57 PM
Smiles never go out of style. In every photo you look like you are about to punch someone, I am starting to worry about that dog you are holding and what you are going to do to it.


Joking aside, I recommend finding someone who is good with a camera (either a friend who enjoys photography as a hobby, or just flick open the yellow pages and pay for a professional.) You NEED good photos, you are a good looking guy, but currently this is being ruined by poor photos, unless you rectify this you are unlikely to get any better response,
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Profile review for poor ignored man
Posted: 10/10/2017 4:22:26 PM
would a smile kill you?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
63 messages sent. no replies
Posted: 10/9/2017 9:42:44 AM
go to the profile review forum
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Rate my profile please!
Posted: 10/8/2017 12:19:40 AM
I agree with the pervious post, 50% of your pics have a drink in your hand, makes you look alcoholic.

A good rule of thumb for your main pic is to look as you would want to be seen on a first date to make a great first impression. Well dressed, well groomed, smiling, well lit and without anything obstructing your face (sunglasses, hats, hoodies etc) is the way forward.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Profile 2.0 is up and ready. Waiting to hear any and all critiques.
Posted: 10/7/2017 11:45:12 PM
Photos that should stay:

Graduation
Good Friday
Last one in a v neck.
-Reason:
Clear, well lit, smiling, shows you in an attractive and positive way

Photos that should go:
ALL THE REST!
Wife beater- Your wearing a wife beater, unless you have arms like The Rock then this needs to go, plus the pout is dumb
Shades- Photo is too dark so not clear, sunglasses inside, what's the point?
Hockey- Your face is covered, could be a photo of anyone.
Friends- No one cares what your friends look like, they only want to see you. Do you have their permission to use their photo on your dating site? I wouldn't want my image used on someone else's profile. Also, wife beater again.
Snowboarding- Face is covered, could be a photo of anyone.


Some outdoor shots that are not hockey-related would help. Take advantage of the caption feature.

This is Minnesota. Hockey is king :)


Then some of you out with your skates on but no helmet would be the best thing to have.




Text good points:
You write creatively and honestly.


Text bad points:
It's too long.
There is too much negativity.
You basically give a list of reasons NOT to date you, don't tell them what you don't want, DO tell them what you DO want.



This is all the negative points of your profile:


Came back to POF after seeing something that looked promising, but ended up fizzling out. You are what you sell, I guess. (I've sold catfish before at my jobs, so yeah, lol)....

If we go out, the quantity of time we will be able to spend with each other will be at a premium

All niceties aside, I'll also be blunt about another thing: I haven't had the easiest life.

Sounds like a contradiction, but it's possible to do both

Therefore, I'm probably not the guy you're looking for if you're looking for that. I am open to all races and ethnicities though.

No hangups about men, no dependent/avoidant personalities and preferably an independent source of income. If you don't have an independent source of income (Disability, injury, etc), I can make exceptions if you can be independent in other ways.



I probably won't get along with you if
You're the type of person who tends to stay in a comfort zone.
You believe conformity and obedience are virtues......, so somebody who's overly legalistic is going to be incompatible with me..
You've ever knowingly been a "side chick".
You're overtly anti-religious....... But I cannot accommodate intolerance.

Dealbreakers:

You're a current drug user or abuse alcohol. A few drinks after dinner or a celebratory beer is fine, but binge and habitual drinking isn't.
(Exceptions: You use medical 420 or you're currently in treatment and I can meet your counselor when things get more serious between us.)
You're a convicted felon or you have multiple misdemeanors on your record.
You have booty or cleavage pictures. You don't have to advertise. You will be noticed by the right man.
You're brandishing a firearm in your display picture. Guns are to be heard, not seen.
Evangelical Christians:...... I simply don't think we'd be a good match.
Cat haters



Not sure why any woman would want to date a guy so negative and demanding, all this will turn many many women away from your profile.


Oh and FYI telling women not to have cleavage and booty photos, but then you wave two photos in a wife-beater showing off your guns (or lack there of) is a massive hypocritical double standard. You don't have to advertise, you'll be noticed by the right woman!




I have taken the liberty of cutting out all those negative points and just leaving what's left, it reads like this.....

No need to give a shout out to your Pastor, it's a dating profile, don't think they are ever going to see it.



One Fish Two Fish, Our Walleye and Chips, are Delish! if you've ever heard those words at Target Field, then congratulations, we've met before! I currently work at Target Field, TCF Bank Stadium and US Bank Stadium, so if you're a big sports fan, we've probably met many times!

I'm in the process of a career change. I just finished up school. I'm in the process of starting out a career in Information technology. My career requires me to spend the rest of my life refining those skills, since technology changes quickly. If we go out the quality of the time we spend with each other will be premium.

Family's from the Caribbean, so I didn't have the traditional African-American experience growing up. I turned a lot of tragic life experiences into successes. It's inspired me to always strive to be the best at whatever endeavour I pursue. I currently give back to the same community that's helped me get to where I am by volunteering my time at a non-profit computer repair shop.

I'm sort of a free spirit. Church is important to me. If you're non-religious, that's fine. Everybody has their own opinion about religion, and I can be very accommodating to your views. I'm very liberal in my spiritual beliefs.

I rescued my cat from an animal hoarder and I'm intent on giving him the best life possible. The varmint and me are a package deal.

I think we'll have a future if:
You're open to new life experiences.
You're willing to settle down.
You describe yourself as a kind and open minded person.
You have your stuff together emotionally and professionally.




Now this guy IS very datable. It's positive, well humoured, honest. It shows you know what you want, without sounding demanding. It's also not too long. If you use this along with some more well lit, well dress smiling photos showing you at your very best, then you should do well.

Best of luck :)
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile Critique Please
Posted: 9/25/2017 10:24:37 AM
Photo's need to be recent, current main one looks a lot younger than 40, especially as you are in military uniform, yet that doesn't seem to be your carrier.


It's at least 50% too long, you are asking a great deal of anyone just to read it all, let alone to read it enjoy it and want to message you.

This is not a dating profile, it's a blog.


Best advice, delete it all, read the profile tips at the top of this forum and build it from the ground up.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Little success
Posted: 9/25/2017 10:20:55 AM

Bump. What do you guys think now?



Well, for starters....




There are 8 slots for photos, so use them. Photos need to show you AT YOUR VERY BEST dark and poorly lit photos are pointless. If you don't have many photos, take some. I recently got some new clothes, so that afternoon while the sun was out, I got dressed up, went to a local park and took some snaps, even asked a stranger to take on from me, then uploaded them. The whole process too less than an hour. In this day an age there is no excuse for poor quality photos.

There is one big thing missing from you DATING profile...... any mention of DATING! Research has shown that the best profiles have a 70:30 ratio. That means 70% of the text is about yourself and 30% is about the person you are looking for. Add in a paragraph describing your perfect partner (personality not looks) and try and use as much "you" "we" and "us" language as you can.


Why bump the review if you havn't taken the advice you've already been given?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile review please?
Posted: 9/24/2017 6:42:34 AM
OK, there is lots to work on here.

Photos need an overhaul.

Unless you are under 21 and a girl, poutface selfies look ridiculous. Screen grabs from facebook are lazy, pixelated photos of your child look like something you see in a newspaper after a tragic crime. Photos should be of you and only you, looking your very best. Smile, be well dressed and well groomed and make they are crystal clear and show your whole face (not sunglasses or hats especially in the main profile pic). If this means going out of your way to make some new photos so be it. The profile picture is the main reason anyone will click on your profile, so its work a bit of effort to get it as good as it can be. A good rule of thumb is to look in your main picture as you would want to be seen on a first date.

"Yes" is not a profession.

The text is just a stream on consciousness that at times doesn't make much sense. lines like


"That's as good a start as we should hope for.Anything after that I'd like to think our profiles would be down."

and


"Just a shame Thailand and Portugal can't be done every week."

I honestly don't know what you mean here.

It also says nothing particularly interesting about yourself. Here's what the reader finds out about you:
You like to go to gigs, sometimes you go to pubs, sometimes you don't.
You like boxing.
You used to volunteer (with no specifics at what) but don't any more.
You have a daughter.

Wow. Form an orderly queue ladies!

Here's some good questions to try and answer in your profile:
What are you passionate about?
What are your hopes dreams and goals for the future?
What makes you special and unique?
Why should a woman date you over the millions of other guys on this site?
What does romance mean to you?
What are your 3 favourite books/bands/movies and why?
What will it be like to date you?
What attributes do you find attractive in a woman?

Don't worry if writing isn't your top skill, give it a go then get a friend who's good at that kind of thing to proof read it. Failing that come back here and we can help sort out and grammar/English corrections.

Best of luck.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Lots of profile views, little responses
Posted: 9/20/2017 3:00:57 PM
I can only echo what others have said.


Your photos are killing your profile, my guess would be women click on your profile to see if you have any better/clearer photos realise you dont and move on to the next profile.

You needs a crystal clear, well lit, smiling, headshot of you dressed well and looking your very best as your main photo. No hats or sunglasses here, you need to show what you actually look like. A good rule of thumb is 'how would I want to be seen on a first date'. If this means manufacturing something, so be it. For me, I recently bought some new clothes, so decided to get dressed up and smart, went out to a local park took about 50 selfies, and even asked a stranger to take a couple of photos for me, then uploaded the best ones. The whole process took less than an hour. Is an hour of your time worth investing in your dating profile and potentially your future relationship?

As for the others photos, there are too many wearing hats, again, you need to show what you look like. Also, to be blunt, for me, pictures of you with other peoples kids are creepy AF, I literally have no idea why you think that's appropriate for a dating website. Personally I don't even like it when people post pictures of their own kids, unless you are lucking for a second mom for them, or expecting the kid to come on the date it's irrelevant.


The text isn't poorly written, but scrap the first sentence about no knowing what to say, it comes across as though you have no confidence.

You say you have lots of hobbies and like trying new things, but dont say what those hobbies are or what new things you have enjoyed, without specifics they are meaningless statements.

Research has shown (see Quirkology by Prof Richard Wiseman) that the best and most successful profiles have a 70:30 ratio. That means, 70% of the text should be about you word count, and 30% be about the person you are looking for. Currently yours is the other way around and more like 30:70, you talk briefly about yourself then a lot about the person you want. This can come across as demanding, and gives the reader very little reason to want to date you. You need to show your passion and your uniqueness in your text, make the reader think "Wow, he sounds amazing, I really need to date this guy"

Hope that helps, happy fishing.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Little success
Posted: 9/17/2017 4:02:09 AM
Looks like you've changed a few things, so it's currently not a bad profile but there's still room for improvement.

Before even looking at the profile, if you are sending out 1000 messages in a month that is TOO MANY messages. That's like 33 a day! If they are all as you say, well written and personalised you must be spending hours over them, if so, get out and live your life! Otherwise you are just copying and pasting messages, which women can spot a mile away so no wonder they are being ignored. What if in one day all 33 decided to message back saying "sure, you sound nice, lets go for a drink on Friday" you'd be pretty stuck with too many dates, making the whole thing pointless. Be more selective! Send messages only to ones who are local to you and are what you are looking for, and from reading their profile, you are what they are looking for (for example, I'm not very outdoors, so when I see that as something a woman wants, I don't message them). It may mean you only send 5 messages a week rather than 250 but you might get to replies out of 5 rather than 2 replies out of 250. Also if you got a phone number in a month that's not bad going, so I wouldn't complain too much.


Anyway, as for your profile.

There are 8 slots for photos, so use them. Photos need to show you AT YOUR VERY BEST dark and poorly lit photos are pointless. If you don't have many photos, take some. I recently got some new clothes, so that afternoon while the sun was out, I got dressed up, went to a local park and took some snaps, even asked a stranger to take on from me, then uploaded them. The whole process too less than an hour. In this day an age there is no excuse for poor quality photos.

There is one big thing missing from you DATING profile...... any mention of DATING! Research has shown that the best profiles have a 70:30 ratio. That means 70% of the text is about yourself and 30% is about the person you are looking for. Add in a paragraph describing your perfect partner (personality not looks) and try and use as much "you" "we" and "us" language as you can.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Asking for a profile review
Posted: 8/29/2017 5:08:32 PM
Is that lady coming on the date? Then why is she in your profile picture?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Please review
Posted: 8/29/2017 4:26:17 PM
Couple of things.

You needs a clearer, head and sholders, photo for your main. The current one has too much shadow meaning when it's a little thumbnail it's hard to see what you look like, meaning you fall at the very first hurdle.

Along those line, in every photo you are wearing a hat. In your main, as well as a couple of other you need to not be wearing a hat, women want a full view of what you look like. If you are wearing a hat in every photo they will assume you are bald and embarrassed about it. Either prove you have hair by having a photo without a hat OR if you are bald, own it and show it off, it's not really a deal breaker for women in your age.

Also with photos, you have a casual 'jeans and a tshirt' style, which is fine. But you need to show you wouldn't look out of place at a fancy restaurant or****ail bar, a photo of you dressed smart can go a long way.


As for the text, it's not bad. Spend a little more time talking about the type of person you are looking for, and what attributes you find attractive in a woman. Research has shown that the most successful profiles have a 70:30 ratio, meaning 70% of the text is about the person, and 30 is about who they are looking for. In real terms this means if you have 10 sentences then 3 should be describing your idea partner.


As the previous poster has pointed out, delete mail restrictions. Unless you are being bombarded by annoying 37year olds then they are pointless. If a cute, funny, sexy, outgoing, athletic, 53 year old wanted to send you a message would it really be the end of the world?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Asking for a profile review
Posted: 8/29/2017 11:31:47 AM
Sounds like you know what you need to do.

More photos, smile, or at the very least don't look like photographer stole your last cookie and you want to punch him in the face.

Name: Drummer
Pictures of you playing the drums: 0


Text is not bad at all maybe add some more about dating and romance. Talk more about the kind of person you are looking for and what attributes you find attractive. Talk about things you might like to do together, try and use "you" and "we/us" language as much ad "I"
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Women Mass Deleting Messages
Posted: 8/28/2017 1:55:59 PM
If you don't like this site or the way women use it you are happy to request a refund....

Remember this is a FREE site, so it's not going to be perfect, and of course women are going to be bombarded by guys, mostly sleazy guys, which means guys like yourself get lost. Tough cookies, unfortunately that's how this site works.

You have too choices

1) Leave and join another site, maybe you'll find more success on a paid site which filters out the sleaze bags

2) Make sure your profile is A++ so when a woman does check out your profile she will be blown away by how great it is (a better profile picture might help in your case)

Remember, you can't change what others do, so there's no point getting annoyed by it, all you can change is what YOU do, so make sure you are doing the very best you can :)
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why did she stop responding?
Posted: 8/28/2017 1:49:27 PM

Any thoughts as to why she would have just suddenly stopped responding?


One or more of these...

She didn't feel a 'spark' with you
She has a boyfriend
She is has been abducted by aliens
Her life is to busy to date/for a relationship
She got back with an ex
She is a CIA agent and her cover has been blown
She is dating multiple guys, trying a few out, you are just one
She realised not emotionally ready to date
She is wanted by the government an has to go 'off grid'
She met someone else she likes more
Something bad/tragic has happened in her life so dating is on the back-burner
She is a ghost that only you can see, a la Sixth Sense, only she doesn't know it, your text's have complete her unfinished business so she is free to leave the land of the living.
She doesn't like you and is too polite to say "sorry, I don't like you"
 
Show ALL Forums