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 Author Thread: Men who live in Trailers, Buses and RVs
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
Men who live in Trailers, Buses and RVs
Posted: 5/16/2013 7:58:27 PM
WOW, some of these narrow views have really floored me! At one time, I was reading as many RVing magazines as I could get my hands on because I'd thought that I'd love to do that (full time RV) for about 20 years after retirement. Before the internet, it was difficult to do mainly because of banking....and having a permanent physical address. Now, with direct deposits, online banking it's much easier to do. I've read articles written by younger folks....who RV full time even with their children (who are "home schooled") Most parks nowadays have Wi-Fi and I was impressed with the curriculum which offered their children a much enriched, hands on, education. Primarily though, most full time RVers I've known have been either retired and taking the opportunity to experience our vast country before they're too old to travel.....or construction workers who spend months at a time away from their "homes". Whether these men (some women) are married or single, it's cheaper and more convenient to live in an apartment on wheels than it is a fixed one. First of all....when your work has you moving every 8-12 weeks, it's foolish to take on the liability of 1 year lease....and the places which are available for rent without a lease are not fit to live in usually. When you work out of a GO where the work is and it's financially foolish to trying to put down roots in every city that has a building going up. You can take a job with a company (if you can find one) and earn $40K a year....or you can travel...and earn $120K a year.

In addition, many people who live full time in trailers or RVs do not consider it a permanent way of life, and often they've considered the "marginal costs" of living....realized that X amount of time cutting back on their MAJOR expense is the fastest way to obtain the funding for a future goal.

I'm sure there are some for whom it IS a way of life, but I for one would NOT stereotype every man who drives his house to work as a bum who isn't capable of a lasting relationship.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 65 (view)
Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 12:11:41 PM

I am sorry sweetie but you know me....all I could think of when I read your post was that you should have asked him for sex! lmao...I know, I know, my bad! *hugs*

LOL! No need to be sorry Moon, you know I always luvs ya!!!! BUT...go back to some of my posts from years ago and you'll see that HE eliminated SEX from the equation pretty early on in the marriage. LOL! I was TRYING NOT to be my usual bold self and tell THAT particular story again! .....Particularly since....on here....women who leave men who can't perform sexually are just sluts LOL!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 9:13:57 AM
LOL! This thread reminds me of years ago (about 20) being in the marriage councilors office....when he looks directly at ME....and tells me that *I* have to be more willing to embrace some of my husbands interests!!! So, I ran down the list for him:

My hubby rode I bought a motorcycle and we went riding every weekend.

Hubby wanted to go camping. so we got tents and all the gear and went camping. After 2 summers, I enjoyed it so much that I bought a camper so we could go anytime we wanted and not have to spend so much time preparing....which had limited how often we could go. After year 5, he ordered a phone line so he could take his laptop....and I was planting flowers and vegetables.

Hubby wanted to go, I learned to fish.

Hubby frequently took his widowed Mother to play I spent many winter weekend nights at various Bingo Halls.
(the list does go on....and on)

Now.....MY requests: Dance with me. He complied by going out with me...sitting at a table bored, but requesting that other men should ask his wife to dance.

Walk with me. His feet always hurt. Never mind the fact that BOTH of us spent all day on our feet at work. He did however occasionally lay towel by the pool for when I came back from my walk.

Let's learn woodworking together. His reply...."I'm an auto mechanic....I don't do wood".

Ride this roller coaster with me. He offered to find a shady place to sit and hold my purse while I rode.

There are some things that some people simply aren't going to skydiving. There is no way in he11 that I would jump out of a perfectly good I can totally appreciate it if someone doesn't share my passion for roller coasters....BUT, when the list of common interests dwindles down to where ONLY the interests of one person are being engaged it...then it DOES become problem.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 91 (view)
Women can fix this!
Posted: 5/15/2013 10:03:00 AM

Women you can fix this! Just like CraigsList has a "flag" option POF has an option to report a profile. If a man asks for or offers sex in the original email and, their profile does not say "intimate encounter" please report their profile. That way hopefully they'll get deleted and that will leave room for the true men on here.

I think you're taking this far too serious. First of all, it wasn't long after turning 30 (30 years ago) that I decided it was much more fun to GRADE sexual harassment that it is to report it...and also a lot more effective. But...that was in my own particular realm...the world of construction workers, who may not have a lot of polish...but you can be certain that when one offers a compliment (whistle) it's sincere.

Right around that same time, I also learned what 90% of women learn after the age of 30-40.... that the men who constantly TALK about sex....are the ones getting the LEAST of it....and that there's usually a reason why. (they're lousy at it)

Women are not quite so naive as you might think. Take a survey of women.... and ask them the first thing that pops into their heads when a guy they barely know starts talking about oral.....LOL! Be honest think ED....right?

So, to expect women to fix it.....make room for true men....they already do.

One of the worst things that men (and probably women do it also) is to ignore a persons profile, or think that they are going to change the other person's views. Example: My profile has clearly stated for quite some number of years that I am NOT looking for dates, relationships or anything else...that I'm here because I have friends here....and I keep track of the POF real time events which I go to occassionally. Every once in a while, I get (other from my friends) a sincere...."just wanna be friends" email, but by far....most still want to "hook up", or think that I didn't know what I was saying. IF I were to even respond to's like "encouragement". (A LIE) NO INTEREST means NO INTEREST. So if a woman (or man) doesn't respond to someone.....don't take it as a personal insult or a reflection on YOU or your character....but as her/his personal preference.

Men or women who become so "frustrated" over someone elses lack of response that they alter their normal personality are NOT good relationship material in the first defending them is pointless. When someone looks at your profile and doesn't like your looks....or something you've said, your grammar, your's PREFERENCE, and it's perfectly fine to have those.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 391 (view)
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 5/4/2013 8:59:36 AM
I would imagine that men have the same reasons as women might have for turning 50 and having never married. The whole "capable of being committed" thing sounds like a reasonable argument but could also very well be a "straw man".

I have a cousin (female) age 56 who only even seriously started thinking about marriage after she turned 50!!! When she told me that she was thinking that it might be time or her to get jaw dropped to the floor and I asked....."ARE YOU NUTS???" Actually....she isn't. She's not a raving beauty, but far from unattractive. She's also one my favorite people in the whole world because she's intelligent, but also has good sense and makes everyone feel at ease around her. She's not a "yes" person...she stands up for what she believes, but respects the opinions of others. As for "stability" and the ability to make a commitment an stick to it.....she began working at age 16, graduated a year early from high school, worked to put herself through college (there were NO FAFSA grants back then) She graduated with education, with a History major. She went into Missions and taught in a Mission school for 11 years; returned to Tennessee and worked as Administrative Assistant to the Dean (at the college where she'd graduated) for almost 8 years. She helped found a Charter School where she served as teacher, Principal for 2 years (she didn't like that) and finally retired a couple of years ago after serving as the school councilor for several years. Someone suggested that she'd be great at she took the courses to become a licensed councilor. (She already had her PhD in Education).

I love it when she comes to my house and says...."I KNOW you have wine here....I need a glass!" LOL! We're a family of quite "legalistic" Christians.....except for me of course!

Having myself spent 30 yrs being married (5 the first time and 25 the 2nd time)....I think I may have some idea of the characteristics that make someone a good spouse. For instance.....Honestly....I think that I make a LOUSY spouse (as all of my exes will attest to!) But yet, that someone would even think that I make a good spouse just because I've been one or so many years...and that she wouldn''s pretty ludicrous.

MEN very likely have the same reasons for reaching 50 yrs of age and never marrying. Education....Career, and the FACT that 50 sneaks up on you like a thief and before you know're a lot older than you thought you'd be when it occurred to you that you hadn't yet gotten around to being married.

The whole concept that "marriage" makes people more capable of co-operating, and compromising is again....a seriously flawed argument when applied to 2nd and 3rd marriages. In FACT...for myself (and therefore I can see why MEN would feel the SAME way), I'm TIRED of compromising and co-operating!!! I figure I don't have that many years from here on out...I'm planning to do what I WANT to do! And....who could blame MEN who've spent 30+ years of their lives compromising from wanting the same?'s quite possible that a 50 yr old man(or woman) who's already had the freedom of having everything his way might be an ideal candidate for a good relationship.

I think that you all are writing off someone because of their age and lack of relationship experience is a bit hasty, and that these folks might actually be just what you need. Think about it!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 95 (view)
over 50 then look at this
Posted: 5/1/2013 9:55:36 PM

Great last post GrandmaBooBoo. Some folks might want to read it twice as they don't get that it ain't about dandelions. Read the last paragraph again as well, maybe three times.

We don't need to give up the "me" to be "we". The "we" should compliment the "me" (both people). If you are looking for someone to look after you OR look after, you're going to lose.
Thanks Bogie for "getting it"

The point is made though by folks who will take 2 separate sentences out of context and twist them to accuse someone of an insult which was never stated...OR even implied. People have the RIGHT to choose their own lifestyle preference...and that doesn't imply criticism of others who choose differently...just incompatibility.

Other than the OPs original post, the other "lists" are HONEST people, albeit some (like me) sarcastically stating their OWN criteria for a mate. The OP however uses the PASSIVE/AGGRESSIVE defense mechanism to extort guilt from those who have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm certain if the OP were to post his OWN criteria for a the top of it would be a 25 yr old model nymphomaniac. LOL! Isn't it ironic that those who complain about being rejected are never willing to share some of their OWN "petty" reasons for rejecting someone else? ANYONE has the RIGHT to reject ANYONE for ANY reason...and to still be respected for being honest about their preferences and requirements.

And you have eloquently paraphrased....that the "we" should compliment BOTH people.

Who does? There's lot's of men who do that to women, and a lot of women who do that to men.
You are absolutely right, its not a "gender" issue....both sexes do it, which is why I didn't specify a gender. I happen to be female....but even if I were male I'm certain I would feel the same way.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 92 (view)
over 50 then look at this
Posted: 5/1/2013 8:22:35 PM

I for one, appreciate the efforts of a BF who tries to save me money on an otherwise major repair bill.

Well call me ungrateful then, because I don't appreciate anyone who tries to force THEIR standards onto if there were something wrong with my own! You....and the ex BF obviously consider the insurance deductible a "major repair bill" but I DO NOT. And certainly, I don't want some slip shod repair that is "hardly noticeable " on a $40K vehicle that's less than 2 months old. Geeezzz, this is WHY people have insurance, and everyone knows that they will pay the deductible. Now, had the man been a professional body repairman and offering a discount to do the repair, that would have been different. The situation WAS....that HE would have just put a band-aide on the booboo and accepted that the damage would never be professionally repaired. I don't do things like that, and I resent anyone arrogant enough to think that I must live that way because THEY do.

Where does anyone get off after just a few weeks of dating to make those kinds of assumptions? Had another guy once who insisted that he was going to mow my lawn!!! NO!!! HELL NO! I am very picky about my lawn and flower beds, I have 0 dandelions, or weeds of any kind, my walks and driveway are neatly edged and I pay for the service by a local company who knows what I expect. I don't have my lawn mowed down to the dirt because it's lasts longer between mowings. I DON'T CARE if I have to pay to have the lawn cut in 5 days rather than 7. My lawn is always gorgeous and green....not brown and dying.

So, let's "take away" 50% of men who don't care what their homes (and cars) look like.....inside or out.

This whole thread is another " learn to settle" argument which has been done to death....about trying to make people who HAVE standards that are important to them, feel guilty for NOT "settling for LESS" than what THEIR standards are.

Now, I don't care if a guy lives in small ranch house in a less than what I'd consider "desirable" area...but it WOULD be an issue if he has trash stacked on the front porch, and a mud hole for a lawn...and the inside of the house looked like a hoarder lived there. I don't care if he drives an old junker, but if he has a newer vehicle that he NEGLECTS to take care of....this is a clear indication to me that he is NOT responsible. Dead lawn....then he's NOT a responsible person.

Being "overly concerned" with MY expenses is a clear indication that he has NO RESPECT for me, and considers me as financially irresponsible as HE is. Either that...or he's calculating what I'm going to have to get rid of to afford to pay HIS bills.

There's little difference between male and female "gold diggers". The female ones rely on men's need to be needed, and the male ones struggle to make the female needy. Personally, I place MUCH more value on being WANTED. "Needs" can be filled in a lot of places by a variety of people. When one is WANTED (regardless of any "need") then that person alone can quench that particular desire. I am highly suspicious of anyone who tries to insist that I "need" them ESPECIALLY for purely physical survival reasons. You can grow to "need" someone solely because you LOVE them, but rarely does anyone grow to love someone that they "needed" in order to survive materially.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
Relocating For The Over 45 Crowd.....
Posted: 5/1/2013 7:18:47 PM
NO WAY.....well....MAYBE if he walked on water, but I'd need some time to deal with that.

NO.....I hung loose for 12 years, not becoming too attached to a house or a place because I wanted to be "flexible" in case Mr. Right ever came along. He didn', I've moved on with MY life. I just built my "dream home" on the lake, my clothes in the whole closet, and all the decorations and furniture that my house needs. I wouldn't move across the street for Mr. Right at this point, but he'd be more than welcome to leave a tooth brush in the sink drawer for occasional sleep overs.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 90 (view)
over 50 then look at this
Posted: 5/1/2013 6:21:42 PM

IDK, maybe it's the area we lived in and needing 2 income for most to get by here.....We were pretty equal in our income, sometimes one would make more, sometimes the other....Then I didn't have a problem sharing power with someone else....I think the problem comes up when one person can't 'play nice'.....If one feels they're always 'giving' and the other is always 'taking'....

Ok, had to take a peek at your profile to see where "here" was. I can tell you with absolute confidence that YOUR experience WAS because of where you live....and that in the rest of the country....people our age grew up pretty much like in "Leave it to Beaver". Even those women in my age group....young wives and mothers in the 1970s, 1980s..... only 35% of them worked full time, and fewer than that considered themselves permanently in the work force. While it was more acceptable on the East and West coasts....mainstream America still frowned on "working women". My insistence on "working" was a huge source 0f conflict in my first marriage and I, in fact...turned down a number of excellent positions because they paid more than my husband earned. Fortunately, my 2nd marriage was an older man who's Mother had worked in factories during WWII and he was much more accepting of having a "working wife". I can tell you also, that I can't count the number of conversations (between men) that I've heard where they would "apologize" for having a wife who worked, and probably 90% of the time would exclaim that they were going to "make her quit because it was costing THEM too much money" (Claiming that she paid no income taxes but that her income put HIM into a higher tax bracket)
It wasn't just the men....women (in my era) who worked would continually make excuses for their socially unacceptable behavior. They were "just working to pay off Junior's braces" or just got bored and thought they'd try working for a few months.
Here in the midwest....there's still more intolerance than you might imagine against women who CHOOSE to work.

Agreed, there are always those who refuse to "play nice" but I think that the societal prejudices drive those bad behaviors as much as does the immaturity of people involved.

Believe me, it's a whole different world in areas where the economic base is blue collar labor.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 174 (view)
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 5/1/2013 1:12:51 PM
English Leather came out when I was a teenager, Canoe came out when MY children were teenagers LOL! Now....give me a man who smells of the Old Spice that my Daddy and Grandpa used to wear and it "triggers" all kinds of happy, content feelings. The sense of smell is the greatest memory trigger we have so guys.....either wear what reminds her of happy moments or forgo the cologne all together until you find out what she likes.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
over 50 then look at this
Posted: 5/1/2013 1:07:20 PM

Another minor point, as women become equal financially, they become more like men in regards to relationships. Now many women don't want to get married, they have more to lose financially.

Perhaps men going their own way have a valid point, it's all about the money, women that have more money than average aren't eager to get married.

I understood your point Dragon...and thank you for putting it so tactifully. I was a little more blunt when I said that I eliminated a large percentage of men who have a "problem" with my income....and a percentage who have trouble accepting that I was always the major wage earner, and that after 40 years of paying bills...I don't seen some moron raising his eyebrows if I buy a stack of steaks for a cook out at MY house, just because all he would be able to afford is hot dogs.

I don't want to sound like I'm ragging on men.....BUT, let's face in my generation have STILL not gotten used to the idea that women ARE perfectly capable of balancing checkbooks, making investments, and even doing their own home repairs. Men (over 50) are also more likely to equate income to CONTROL, and in my in my age bracket feel MUCH more secure in a relationship when the female is essentially 100% "dependent" on him for their survival.

I also agree with you that women are becoming more like men in regard to both money and relationships....though I'm not so sure that it's a good thing. When I was married and always the major wage earner, I think (I hope) that I behaved as I would have wanted my husband to behave if he had been the primary source of household income) I considered everything we had as "ours"...and when we divorced.....we divided our assets 50/50 even though dollar for dollar...I had far more invested
After divorcing though, I was frequently frustrated, often angered by the arrogance of the men I would meet who behaved as if my job were just some kind of hobby that I would walk away from after 20 + years. One guy even asked to see my bills!?!?!? guy DID question every item that I put into my grocery cart and seemed personally offended by the amount of money that I spend on my groceries. Once....someone put a dent in my new vehicle while it was parked in a lot and this guy kept going on and on about how he would just pound this and pull that and get some touch up paint!!! LOL! I looked at him like he was insane! (to me, he was!) HE ha this gigantic issue that I would pay the $500 deductible to get my new car fixed properly....because HE would have hillbillyed it up in his garage, for lack of having the $500 to pay for professional repairs.

So, I don't necessarily think that's it's as cold as " being all about money", but rather about the lifestyles that individuals are accustomed to living. Let's face it's money which buys the lifestyle. In the over 50 group, men were expected to provide that lifestyle, and enjoyed the control of being totally in charge of what that lifestyle would be.....EVEN if was the wife who was making all the purchasing decisions.....she was still limited to what HIS income would buy. When the woman adds to that income...suddenly SHE adds to the range of choices...which his is not in control of and it's a deal breaker at times.

I do find it odd that while you almost never hear a woman complain that a man earns too much's not all that uncommon for men to complain about a woman's salary when it's greater than his own.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
When did burning candles get so complicated?!
Posted: 4/30/2013 6:26:02 PM

The best best best candles are from Party Light. both for even burning and for scent. but they're so expensive now.
edit: hmm, just looked at the catalog, maybe not. maybe they're getting reasonable

I love Party Light candles. They're relatively pricey, BUT...they do burn longer and more evenly than cheaper candles.
The problem with those suggesting battery operated candles is, that you don't get the scent that comes from a real candle. I love the ones that just make your house smell summer rain, or fresh linen.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 82 (view)
Ain't Going to Happen.... now what?
Posted: 4/30/2013 6:09:24 PM

My doctor told me that I am highly allergic to marriage and I should avoid it at all costs!lol OP lots of the ladies that I know don't want marriage or live in to be honest with you. They want a playmate. Someone they can go out with once or twice a week, dinner/show,sex. Oops, yes I said sex.
LOL! Thank you for reminding me why I adore you so much Moon!!!

OP....I vote for telling her even before you start "dating"....BUT, don't change your mind! Geezzzz! Say what you mean and MEAN what you say for goodness sakes! NO FAIR taking the wimpy way out because you think it will "save" you when you move on. (I told you that I DIDN"T want a serious relationship) The last 3 guys I dated "seriously" all said the same thing....and I was happy that we were on the same wave length, but after a few months, they wanted to change the rules and started pressuring me to get married.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 79 (view)
over 50 then look at this
Posted: 4/30/2013 5:47:39 PM
On the bra topic.....haven't you been reading the research released lately that says that wearing a bra is actually harmful to your health?

:-) Thank you Whiterose

And Dragon, your statistics are accurate, HOWEVER....they're slightly misleading. In truth, CHILDREN actually influence buying decisions more than "women"... it's just more often that the women are the ones making the purchase....and that is relatively unaffected by whether they (the woman) or the male wage earner is the one paying. LOL! At least....I know I'd have a lot more money to have to decide what to do with if my grandkids didn't have such a long list of things they just can't survive another day without!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 75 (view)
over 50 then look at this
Posted: 4/30/2013 11:15:49 AM
I've been happily single for 15 yrs now because I

took away 25% of men who whine when I smoke a cigar
took away 25% of men who whine because *I* make over $75K
took away 25% of men who whine because my tool box is bigger than theirs
took away 25% of men who lost their licenses for DUI's, so 5 miles is "too far away" for them to drive
took away 25% of men who want to tell me what I need for MY damn truck
took away 25% of men who think that because I'm female I should be suffering from empty nest syndrome
took away 25% of men who have office jobs and and can't relate to a female construction worker
took away 75% of men who have never had a relationship with a woman who pays bills and and doesn't need someone else to tell her what her budget should look like
took away 150% of men who expect ME to make restitution for all the horrible things their exes have done to them
took away 50% of men who won't ride rollercoasters
took away 50% of men who live for NASCAR
took away 50% of men who won't dance...even you don't expect them to be Fred Astaire
took away 50% of men who can't (won't) tell you what THEY like (only what one of their exes said they were ALLOWED to like)
took away 50% of men who "don't" read (anything except the comics and sports page)
took away 50% of men who have to vacation in hotels and eat in restaurants daily. (I"m a hot dog on a stick over a campfire kinda girl myself)
took away 150% of men who absolutely will NOT "give up the home THEY built", but expect me to give up mine.
took away the 100% of men who have insurmountable issues with MY income...and the fact that they equate income to CONTROL.

I'm sure I could add a few more, is short and my boat is calling....LOL! so....add another 25% of men that I "took away" because they don't like fishing in a real lake.

I will be 60 yrs old tomorrow....and as I said, I've been single for 15 I really don't see what YOUR problem is with that??? Single is GOOD......married is just.....a whole lot of sacrifices that NOBODY should have to make.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
question for dog people
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:05:35 PM
I usually toss it as far back into my pups throat as I can....then hold her snout closed with one hand and gently massage her throat with the other hand until she swallows it. The other ideas certainly sound like good plans too!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
What qualities are women looking for in a man over 45?
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:00:55 PM
At over of my top qualifying characteristics is that he can still see to drive at night! (LOL....because I can't!)
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 1/21/2013 6:56:26 PM
I absolutely HATE "English Leather"....always have...since it came out in the 1960s, I've always thought it was disgusting!

LOL! Now....a man who smells of Old Spice.....YUMMY!!!! (It reminds me of my Dad and Grandpa!)

BTW, for those who didn't know this.....smell is the biggest memory trigger of all the 5 senses.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 76 (view)
Posted: 12/18/2012 10:01:19 PM

After reading the last few is apparent that there is nothing that can be done...that we, as a nation, cannot do one F'ing thing to prevent the killing of 20 children again...I must now go out and buy myself several semi automatic weapons and convert them to automatic...and then buy myself many high capacity ammo clips for my new weapons...because more guns is the only answer...we should make all drugs legal...because the war on drugs hasn't curbed a thing, apparently...legalize prostitution, because clearly there are prostitutes away with all traffic laws...becuase who obeys them anyway...heII...lets make murder legal...because people sitll murder other people...Fvck...let's just do away with all laws...because all laws are broken at some point or another.

Typical repuglicant them it's politics-Not murdered children...and there is nothing that can be done.
AMEN Brother!

And this is where we are now. I just read that gun sales have skyrocketed since spite of the fact that numerous places which sell guns have taken several of the controversial types off of their shelves.

I'm NOT "anti gun"....I just DON'T want one MYSELF! I'm sick and tired of the NRA nut jobs treating those of us who DON'T want a gun in their home as if we're Anti American, commie loving, liberal retards who refuse to accept "our responsibility" in protecting society by being armed. That's just ludicrous! I have absolutely no business owning a gun....and I KNOW it, but these gun freaks act like it's a crime NOT to own one. In FACT.....they don't CARE how stupid, or how irresponsible someone long as they have't....YET been convicted of any felonies....they believe that everyone has a duty to own as many as they can buy.

I hate to blame the "Mom" in this...but let's face it......I DO blame the some extent. Court records and first
hand "witnesses" have all said that "Mom" KNEW this boy (man) had serious mental issues. She as reported saying to a "sitter" when this boy was a teen....that he (the sitter) was NOT to take his eyes off the boy even for ONE SECOND....not even to go to the bathroom! Then what does SHE do??? She goes, buys 5 guns, enough ammo to wipe out a small town...and then....takes HER eyes off him! Of course....all her talk about not liking to "leave him alone" didn't seem to hinder her from being the little socialite at the local pub. Wonder where she stored all this "motherly concern" while she was out getting trashed several nights a week? And as to her not being able to afford health care insurance???? OMG.....are you joking??? His FATHER, who earns over $1 MILLION per year continued to provide the sons' health care....AND "Mom's yearly alimony check was $289,000!!!! Seriously? Anyone believes that almost $300K per year is NOT enough money to buy health insurance....with a mental health rider? That's more than 6 TIMES the median yearly income in this how does ANYONE have medical insurance....AND....why then don't we have EVERY poor person without medical insurance going into to kindergarten classes and murdering babies?

I read somewhere that the diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome WAS confirmed, but still.....violence is NOT a symptom or manifestation of the justification.

As I said.....I'm NOT "anti-guns", but I DO have a problem with "gun owners" who I see becoming more and more irresponsible every year. Nancy Lanza was outrageously IRRESPONSIBLE. She ABSOLUTELY KNEW that she had a mentally unstable person living in her home...and she WILLFULLY provided this nut case with the means and opportunity to commit mass murder.
On May 29 of this year...5 miles from my home, a woman called 911....screaming that her 3 yr old son had shot himself in the face...and....and I QUOTE...."He Sooooooo knows better than to touch that gun!" The couples FB pages was FULL of pictures of Daddy with his guns...and Junior....also with AGE 3 people!!! "Friends" reported that these wonderful parents were "responsible" loving parents.....teaching the kiddies (thank God the 3 month old baby girl isn't big enough to hold a gun yet....but I'm sure Daddy will give her one as soon as she masters holding her bottle) Mom told dispatchers that they DELIBERATELY leave the gun (loaded) on the TV easy reach as a learning tool!!!!! Can't teach him NOT to touch the gun....if the gun isn't right there to tempt him....right? Now, get this....Big Macho outside running around in the yard screaming....while Mom is trying to talk to dispatchers AND hold the bloody towel over the child's face....and he can't even answer the Mom's question about what kind of gun it was!

BY THE WAY....there were NO CHARGES filed against these parents! It was an "accident". Now...had Dad (or Mom) placed the childs hand on a hot burner to teach him that the stove is hot....they would have gone to jail for child abuse, but it's perfectly legal to leave a loaded gun on your coffee table for the child to play Russian Roulette....and exercise in effective parenting. This IS the mentality of the majority of today's gun's the mentality of the NRA, because they PROTECT the "rights" of the STUPID...and the he11 with the rights of innocent children.

I don't hate guns! If I didn't have children in my home....I MIGHT have a gun myself. BUT....I recognize the awesome responsibility that comes with owning a weapon that can kill someone....and it's a responsibility that I don't want. I HATE people who love guns...but refuse to behave Nancy Lanza. There are 100s of thousands of Nancy Lanzas in this country who insist on THEIR RIGHTS...even when exercising those rights presents imminent danger to any number of OTHER people. We have the RIGHT to leave butcher knives on low shelves....poisonous chemicals under the sink...but MOST of us have enough SENSE to recognize that for the sake of innocent lives....we forfeit the "right" of convenience....for the SAKE of the safety of those who are too little to protect themselves.

I understand the importance of the 2nd Amendment, and quite frankly....given the way our government acts these days....I can see the time coming when citizens MIGHT need to actually arm themselves against a tyrannical group of rulers, unfortunately....these's looks like the NRA and Grover Norquist are the most like candidates that we might need to arm ourselves against. Look....I am a principled, and a stubborn person...and the last thing I ever want to do is to give up any personal "rights" which insure MY liberty and freedom, but enough is enough! The NRA needs to back the fvck off of their redneck good ole boy gun totin', arse kickin mentality.....but's GREED. It's their GREED that keeps those membership dues rolling in and them catering to the idiot mentality which insists that leaving loaded guns on coffee tables for 3 yr olds to play with is good "responsible parenting". The NRA COULD resolve a great deal of this stuff IF they were not like the Daddy....running around the yard screaming like a girl when the crisis arises. THEY could take a strong stand on the issues at hand and chastise, ridicule and EDUCATE gun owners so that we'd have fewer idiot parents, uncles, etc who let there little kids get hold of loaded guns, and maybe expand the background checks to EVERYONE living IN THE RESIDENCE where the guns is going to be kept. MAYBE....even prosecute the OWNER any time a gun is used in a crime unless the gun had been reported as stolen?

But, I agree with Irish......ONLY the weak kneed Daddys running around screaming in the yard are the ones who throw their hands up and say that "nothing can be done". Something CAN and MUST be done.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 118 (view)
Do you think having TOO MANY RESTRICTIONS hinders possibilities?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:21:06 PM


Who are these people that are messaging you when you dont want them to... On dating sites,, why not just block and delete them....simple......Dating sites are not the place for genuine people and have deteriorated over the last few years to losers, cruiSers and users, from what I hear... I have only been involved the last few months and met 3 but now prefer the forums....

LOL! Someone (a female actually) emailed me to say that she liked the comment I'd made on this thread....and I'd totally forgotten about I had to come and see what I said! LOL!

So, to clairfy my position on this topic, I have to admit that I've been online for over 21 YEARS! :-) Yup, clear back in the days when your only choices were Compuserve, Prodigy or the infamous...AOL. Needless to say, few around here have witnessed the changes to the internet that I've lived through. Not meaning at all to be offensive to anyone...I stand by my comment that the average IQ of online users HAS indeed dropped....significantly. Look....way back when, (1992) it cost us $2.95 per HOUR to be "online". PLUS, there was NO IRC chat and even getting "online" took a fair amount of knowledge. There was no online fact, I'm talking about the days BEFORE Windows know...back when we upgraded our 286s with a 40 MEG hard drive and said dumb things like....I'll NEVER use that much drive space! LOL! So, lets face facts here....20 years ago....when you were online, you had a pool largely made of those who were similarly interested in technology, not entertained by bar hopping, generally had similar IQs, AND who had the financial means to pay for what was a VERY expensive form of entertainment. It was not at all unusual for me to spend $500-$600 per MONTH to be "online". (save any snotty comments.....I assure you I can well afford to spend that and more on my monthly entertainment budget) The POINT IS....that the "dating pool" was already "restricted" by both financial status, intellect, and similar interests.
Circa 1996, when the first "unlimited" internet plans began to surface, and with the introduction of "mIRC", almost overnight ever yawhoo who had a 10 yr old who could turn on the computer for them was online.
Historically however, "blocking" was NOT as easy as it is TODAY. Used to be, the only way to "block" anyone....was to block EVERYONE. Of my 21 years online, I've spent probably 17 of those years with hidden profiles, snippy profiles, profiles designed to discourage men from writting to me....etc. Now that I'm 60 yrs old, it's not nearly so much an issue, but 20 yrs ago ANYTIME I posted an honest profile, within 24 hours I'd have over 200 emails! Having been reared to be polite and courteous...and always send my "thank yous" I felt compelled to write personal responses to EVERY single email that I'd received.
If I had the time or energy, I could list probably 40 examples of reasons why I sincerely believe that "restrictions" are perfect fine. I shutter to think of the "possibilities" that I DIDN'T get to see through, simply because I was so stupidly polite that I felt obligated to respond to every nut job out there with a tactful response...but "no thanks". Had I understood all those years ago that it's OK to have "restrictions"...and to IGNORE those who ignore YOUR restrictions...I MIGHT have actually found someone with whom I COULD have developed a relationship.

A friend of mine, male, who I did date for a short time, commented one evening at an "online party" that he admired how I "held court". I had no idea what he was talking he explained that he admired the way that I had no less than 50 different men at the party, all believing that they had a chance with me. I talked to EVERYONE...I was NICE to everyone, I was tactful, I was polite, I accept people as human beings even when I know that there is NO possibility of a "relationship". What was truly happening however, was that I was unintentionally, and inadvertently hurting men by allowing them to believe that they did indeed..."have a chance". In other words.....I was a "game player"....BUT.....I didn't KNOW that....had never INTENDED to be that...and wasn't in fact that kind of all.

I still don't see ANY problem whatsoever when a man has "restrictions" on his profile. Personally.....when he states his age requirements are 40-55 what? More often than not, the people with those "restrictions" will still email some women who are OVER or UNDER those ages. I've been "the exception" in many cases....and my feelings about that are, that I do NOT want someone who is willing to "lower their standards" on my behalf.

I believe that a good many things we all do "hinders possibilities"....but "restrictions" are no more or no less a hinderance to dating than any of the other things which dictate romantic, health issue, finances, dependents, geographic location, work schedules..... As far as I'm concerned....the more honest someone is about what they like and don't like....the better. If some of their dislikes lands on me.....better sooner than later.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
What happens if you refused to get frisked at the airport?
Posted: 11/6/2012 7:22:15 PM
Re: Billingsmason, Thanks for the positive imput. You're right....I have based my decision on "hearsay"...which has been numerous articles on the topic....such as recently....the elderly man in a wheelchair who was LEFT sitting in a corner for almost 14 hours!!! His family was not permitted through the gates to see him safely onto the plane. They were assured by airport personnel that he would be taken care of. After he failed to arrive at his destination, it took airlines a long time to determine that he had indeed been left sitting with no one even willing to notify his family that he'd missed the flight (due to their negligence).

Maybe I will give it another shot when my grandchildren are a little older. They are currently 9 and 12 yrs old so while they are very well behaved children...they still depend on me to make things run smoothly. I appreciate your comments though! Thanks!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
Man sues wife for having ugly baby ... And wins!
Posted: 11/6/2012 9:59:41 AM
When I saw the headline of that particular article online.....I admit that I thought....WTH!!!!

While I still think that it's really bizzare....I did come away not feeling like the dad was quite so much of an a$$ because apparently his wifes cosmetic surgery was REALLY EXTENSIVE.....NOT just braces on her teeth when she was in 6th grade.

I also think that's it hard to judge this totally different culture. In China....they have ONLY ONE child (usually) and I'm not sure...but do they still practice the ritualistic abortion or killing of a female child? Naturally, we find it appauling, but then, neither do we practice arranged marriages...still a common practice in China.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
What happens if you refused to get frisked at the airport?
Posted: 11/6/2012 9:51:38 AM
I think that the TSA is proof positive that the terrorists WON. Before 9/11, it was very common for me to fly off for a spur of the moment weekend but I haven't flown since 9/11. I'm not really overly concerned about terrorists, BUT I have enough hardware in my back to build a small deck. I set off metal detectors all over the place, and I DO carry a medical card explaining the implants that I have in my back, I understand it...those are NOT accepted at airports. It is also my understanding that a simple "frisk" is not standard procedure for those of us who set off metal detectors...that we are automatically strip searched. I could also probably deal with that, everyone else...I've heard the horror stories about how disrespectfully senior citizens and handicapped people have been treated by airport security. For that reason alone, I've chosen to NEVER fly again. Even in only 1 in 100 TSA agents are rude, it would be my dumb luck that that's the one I'd get, and I wouldn't want my vacation ruined by some twit who was power tripping.

Even removing my shoes requires a place to sit...which I understand is not provided. I'm not even severely handicapped... I only require the use of a cane about 60% of the time and can walk at least 1 mile under my own steam most of the time. My greatest saddness is that I am unable to take my grandchildren on a flight. We miss out on taking some nice long weekend trips because we can't fly :-( LOL! I hope that the ocean crossing on the QEII makes up for that disappointment when we go to Ireland in 2014 though. I think also that I may check out some of the small commuter lines to see if we can go up for a "ride" so they can have that experience. The worst part of not flying anymore is that my back will only tolerate about 300 miles per day of driving...and then it takes me 20 minutes to stand upright before I can walk again LOL!

I'm glad that I don't HAVE to fly (for business)...because I know that there is a limit to the disrespect and humiliation I would tolerate simply because I'm old and handicapped.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 83 (view)
The Frankenstorm
Posted: 11/2/2012 6:23:42 PM
You've reposted portions of what I had already posted....twice, and still aren't READING (or fully understanding) it.

I have no doubt that Christy made the very TACTFUL comment that...."no matter what happened in the past"....blah, blah, blah....he's a POLITICIAN for goodness sakes...and a politician who NEEDS help for his state right now. Regardless of his penchant for "telling it like it is"...NOW when his state is falling apart is NOT the time to win a battle by loosing the war. He may be a big mouth...but he's not stupid....he's BEING TACTFUL and trying to soothe the ruffled feathers of redneck morons who are going to believe whatever some other redneck in the good ole boy network tells them to believe.

And again...these guys were NEVER even IN New Jersey so how can you support the outrageous claim that NEW JERSEY turned them away? I seriously doubt that Chris Christy was standing on the highway with a brass band waiting to welcome these utility workers.

This General Manager of Decatur Utilities SAID...blah, blah, blah...and several other reports have said PAPERWORK which does NOT mean (necessarily) union membership applications. MORE listen here because I do know what I'm talking is MORE LIKELY that the paperwork they were going to be asked to sign was a WAIVER stating that they understood that they would NOT....I repeat...NOT become union member after 30 days of work, NOR would they be paid union scale wages, NOR would they be granted ANY other union benefits.

I've been through have the OTHER Alabama workers, one of which stated....that they'd been through this enough times to KNOW how it works. There are thousands of utility workers from other states on the east coast right now...WHY is it only these 6 who have had these issues???

I've NEVER seen this kind of press when union members have been denied work on a given job site, and it happens ALL the time. There is a BIG difference between tradesmen who are employed by a company exclusively...and those who are SELF EMPLOYED. I'm not an electrician (I'm a pipefitter) but I strongly suspect that these utility workers have no understanding of how construction trades operate outside of the "company employee" structure. In the "real world", these tradesmen make the decision whether to be union members and pay union dues....or hire "business agents"...who are essentially the SAME as small versions of unions because they do the same thing...find jobs for these tradesmen.

The "fact" that many people are "saying" this is what probably happened is NOT convincing. I listen to a lot of nonsense from people who try to make sense of things that are beyond their comprehension and come up with some really wild tales.

Seriously...I've worked so often with people who where chomping at the bit thinking that IF they could just get 30 consecutive days of work on a union site that they would become eligible for union benefits...and that's just NOT the way it works. This alone tells me that these claims are bogus. It makes no sense at all.

I worked for a company that had union workers and no one made me feel like I had to join the union. I did reap the same benefits without joining. Back then my Republican father had told me unions were bad. Today I know better.
LOL! Your statement brings back such fond memories of all the badgering we union employees took from salaried (non union) workers who had a BIG stake in whatever contract the Union negotiated..... Their pay raised depended on it! Whatever union employees got....salaried workers got 3% over that...without having to threaten to strike!
LOL! Believe was NOT easy being a Republican...AND a union member for over 30 years...and we had our "go arounds", but all in all, unions are no more "evil" that Super Pacs....Ohhh wait....maybe they are evil!!! LOL!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 77 (view)
The Frankenstorm
Posted: 11/2/2012 4:41:05 PM

Huntsville, Joe Wheeler utilities deny claims of union discrimination during Sandy response (update)

Representatives with Huntsville Utilities and Joe Wheeler Cooperative, two area utilities mentioned in media reports claiming their crews were not allowed to help with storm aid in New Jersey because they were non-union, said this morning the story is untrue.

The general manager of the other department mentioned, Decatur Utilities, has since verified claims that his workers were asked to affiliate with a union.

See story here.

Bill Yell, spokesman for Huntsville Utilities, said nine of his employees are currently helping with recovery from Hurricane Sandy and had no union-related issues.

"That's a rumor," he said. "We are starting work this morning with Long Island Power Authority. We were headed to a New Jersey utility but they had all the crews they could handle."

A spokeswoman for Joe Wheeler Electrical Membership Cooperative said the crews from Trinity also are assisting with storm recovery and, in fact, are unionized.

"It is not true for us," she said. "I don't know how we got lumped in there (in that report). We sent eight guys to Maryland, not New Jersey. They have been there since before the storm but they've finished work and are headed home this morning."

The crews from Joe Wheeler EMC went to Denton, Md., in anticipation of the storm and worked with Choptank Electrical Cooperative.

Yell and Phillips said they have been inundated with calls from national media outlets in the wake of the report, including Fox News and CNN, and several newspapers in New Jersey.

Yell said going to assist with utilities recovery is not as simple as sending donated goods and requires a lot of coordination.

"We were not turned away," he said. "It's a lot more complicated than that. One of the problems is whenever this kind of thing happens people call and ask, 'Are you going to send crews out?' but it's not a situation where everybody jumps in truck and heads up there. You have to work through trade associations. You have mutual-aid agreements and you've got to find a system that needs you and is able to take you."

He said some systems don't use the same voltage and may have different configurations. "You don't just go up there and say, 'Hey, we're here. We're going to start putting up poles for you."

Because of the storm and snow, it took two days for his crews to arrive in New Jersey, where they learned they were not needed. The American Public Power Association then coordinated with the Long Island system and the Huntsville crews arrived there this morning, Yell said.

"We've been through enough of these situations," he said. "We know how these things work."
From the Huntsville Times today.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 75 (view)
The Frankenstorm
Posted: 11/2/2012 4:08:36 PM

The fact that this happened is a tragedy. What's more tragic is the response of the UNIONS. If people in the disaster areas support the union thugs who TURNED AWAY utility workers who drove there from ALABAMA to help get their power turned on again, they need to understand it was THEIR OWN PEOPLE who drove away HELP from OUT OF STATE in order to protect some worthless fiction about 'union solidarity'. That's fine. Winter's coming ...

Ahhh, NO, the real tragedy is when folks use the misfortune of others to perpetuate their own agendas. The claims that the state of New Jersey turned away qualified electricials has already been DENIED by the utility company which was supposedly "turned away".

However, Decatur Utilities, based in Decatur, Ala., denied the report.

In a press release issued Friday morning, Decatur Utilities said it had sent a six-man crew to the Northeast on Wednesday, bound for Seaside Heights, N.J.

"Communications with Seaside Heights was poor due to lack of cell phone service in the area," the statement said. "Upon arriving at a staging area in Virginia, crews were held in place pending clarification of documents received from IBEW (International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers) that implied a requirement of our employees to agree to union affiliation while working in the New York and New Jersey areas. It was and remains our understanding that agreeing to those requirements was a condition of being allowed to work in those areas.

"As we waited for clarification, we became aware that Seaside Heights had received the assistance they needed from other sources, To be clear, at no time were our crews "turned away" from the utility in Seaside Heights.

"In connection with state and regional public power associations, Decatur Utilities attempted to contact other areas that needed assistance. However, based on the uncertainty of union requirements that we could not agree to and the uncertainty of whether a resolution could be reached, we ultimately made the decision to return them to Decatur after being stalled in the Virginia area most of the day on Thursday."

George Kitchens, GM and CEO of Joe Wheeler EMC - a union shop - told CBS News that the initial report that Joe Wheeler linemen had been turned away was "completely off-base."

Kitchens said eight linemen from Joe Wheeler were among 145 Alabama linemen who traveled to Maryland and Virginia in response to calls for help with repair efforts.

"They rode out the storm, and then did repair work there," Kitchens said. "Our people are on the way back home, [but] it's not from being turned away."

Huntsville Utilities also said their workers were not turned away and are working in storm-ravaged areas.

Utilities from other right-to-work states have also reported their crews working in New York and New Jersey, including repair crews with Electric Cooperatives of Arkansas assisting in New York State. Florida Power & Light sent more than 860 employees and contractors to assist seven utility companies from Virginia to New Jersey.

As customers in Maine and Massachusetts have regained power, utilities there have announced they are sending crews to other states still recovering from the storm.

Not all has gone well for utility workers responding to calls for help. On Monday morning police in Hagerstown, Md., said copper wire was stolen from five trucks of Pike Electric linemen who had traveled from Indiana and Ohio to assist in the recovery.

While I've had my fair share of disagreements with my own union (Ashamed these days to admit that I've been a registered Republican for over 42 years) but I do understand HOW things work....for the most part.

It is my understanding from having read numerous reports, that these 6 workers were NEVER even IN New Jersey. The spent most of Thursday at a "staging area" in Virginia where IBEW was checking their paperwork to ascertain that they were IN FACT...qualified electricians. The 6 workers ASSUMED that they were not going to be permitted to work in New Jersey unless they JOINED a union. This was NEVER the case. They were asked to ABIDE BY Union "rules". Myself, a union Journeyman Pipefitter...have often "broken" union rules LOL! but as a union MEMBER...I can say....hey, look the other way while I perform this "unsafe" removal of some asbestos pipe insulation. These "rules" however....are FOR the health and SAFETY of everyone.

The PROBLEM which was trying to be worked out was NOT whether these people could work...but rather, WHO was going to accept RESPONSIBILITY for them. Just an example: as a Union tradesman, I fully understood proper "lock out procedure" on equipment and that there was an absolute 0 tolerance for violating the safety practice. When someone is working INSIDE a piece of equipment which is 3 stories tall...EVERY worker who is going to be in a dangerous position MUST put a "lock out" tag on the control panel and when possible...physically disable the machine with a special safety padlock. This is NOT always possible to do, so we learn to RESPECT the safety of others by regarding the magnetic tag assigned to each employee in the same way we would an actual padlock. Non Union workers notoriously disregard SAFETY PROTOCOLS because it takes TIME to follow safe practices.
I'm NOT a union drone...I disagree with more than I agree with. ONE thing which I DO agree with however, is that there needs to be fewer "chiefs" and more indians.

I see nothing "tragic" about agreeing to FOLLOW ORDERS from superiors and accepting the AUTHORITY of those who are qualified to direct a group of workmen/women particularly in an unfamiliar setting. As one of the Alabama electricians who is currently working on Long Island stated: "It's COMPLICATED!" Things are done in seriously different ways in NY and NJ than they are in Alabama, and that an out of state electrician CANNOT just come in to unfamiliar territory and say..."hey...we're going to go start setting up poles!" To do so would not only endanger themselves...but other electrical workers...AND....create MORE problems than they are helping to repair.

I've dealt with this on numerous occassions...where workers are "borrowed", and since they being basically paid triple their normal wage for "hazzard pay"....with NO accountability for the work they're doing...they simply do NOT CARE whether their work is up to par or not. The big assigning them to crews which can handle that many "inexperienced" workmen.

God knows I've taken my own swings at union practices...but right is right and wrong is WRONG....and this "opinion" that the Unions are the bad guys in THIS particular dead wrong.
I would like to see NO MORE deaths or serious injuries as a result of the clean up after this devastating storm.

P.S. My cousin who lives at Long Beach is staying with a friend in Queens until next Friday when she'll be coming to stay with me in Ohio until her house is habitable again.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 63 (view)
The Frankenstorm
Posted: 10/30/2012 9:18:40 PM
Just spoke with my cousin who lives at Long Beach. She still has about 2 feet of water in the basement, there's a crack starting up the wall of the stairwell, not only do they have no electric, but they also have no DRINKING WATER....apparently it was declared unsafe for drinking last night. Apparently Homeland Security and FEMA are on the island and rumor is that they are going to be forcefully evacuating those who did not evacuate before the storm hit. Her auto insurance has reserved a rental car for her but they can't "find" it. There are no hotel rooms available anywhere within 250 miles and shelters do not allow her 2 dogs.

In regard to this being "only" a cat 1 storm...apparently that rating has little to do with the extremely low barometric pressure associated with this particular storm. So the reports go.....this is the lowest pressure recorded anywhere on the planet since like 1938 and the experts say that this gives the storm a lot more "power" even though the wind speeds were fairly hurricanes go.

Aside from the "my storm story is better than your storm story" nonsense...which is childish when you're trying to say that one live is more important than another...this is NOW, it's devastating to those effected by it and I find it difficult to believe that anyone who's ever TRULY lived though this kind of disaster would be callous enough to dismiss this devastation as trivial. Let the "one upmanship" come LATER.

I hope my cousin's insurance company finds her that rental car and she gets here to Ohio where she has family, a private bedroom and bathroom, and hot home cooked meals for the next week or two. She's going to need the breather before she goes back to deal with the mess she'll have to clean up. This kind of thing just leaves people really emotionally stressed out, physically exhausted...and feeling pretty helpless. Now is certainly NOT the time to minimize their losses, whether it's ...God forbid.....the live of a loved one....or their homes.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
Trading one addiction for another
Posted: 10/8/2012 7:56:15 AM
In a word: YES!!!

Addictions are a form of OCD (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder) and I've spent over 40 years trying to keep people guessing about what my "addiction" is going to be next month! LOL! My "addiction of choice" is WORK.
"Hello, my name is Karen...and I'm a WORKAHOLIC". Although I've never personally experienced a dependence on either drugs or alcohol, I have several family members who have and through the attempt at understanding WHY people engage in such self destructive practices....I realized, that my own "addiction" to work creates almost the SAME exact consequences to my relationships as do chemical addictions. My "work addiction" however, does not carry the social stigma, the legal difficulties that other addictions is in fact....rewarded, and considered a "value". I'm NOT talking about simply someone who works too much.....and to help explain so that someone reading this can see the parallels:
WORK addiction is when you are exhausted, sleep deprived, and sometimes even injured...and you KNOW that you NEED (your body NEEDS) rest...but your brain simply cannot move past the "work" that it THINKS must get done. I've gone to work...against my doctors orders, been ordered by my employer to see a doctor...and NOT allowed to return to work until I could present them with a statement that I was physically able to work, I've been sent home from work after passing out from a high fever...and not allowed to drive myself home....had the plant manager's office call my husband to ask if I was ok...because it was the FIRST day in 7 YEARS that I'd missed and they were "concerned". I've had "black outs"....from exhaustion and sleep deprivation....and found myself 30 minutes away from home and when I "came back" I didn't know where I was....and did not in fact even REMEMBER leaving the plant and getting into my car to drive home.
I've injured myself and ignored medical treatment, I've made excuses to avoid family time and important events and justified it with "I HAVE to work"...and I didn't really "HAVE" to....I WANTED to.

Just like an alcoholic tries to "prove" that they can control their spending short times NOT drinking....I would spend time not..."AT WORK"....but I was still "working" (not sitting still)....I attended college classes (even though I was STILL working 70 hrs per week at my job), I am an avid gardener, I volunteered for several years as a Junior Achievement Advisor, I sew beautiful dresses for my granddaughter, I am constantly doing some home improvement project either for myself or anyone else who asks. I got involved in "Farmville" several years ago...and spent probably 12 hrs a day "farming"....under my name....AND 5 OTHER fictitious FB names. LOL! and you wonder WHY you will see me on POF for 2 or 3 weeks....and then I dissappear for 6 months to 1 year??? I'm simply...SWITCHING ADDICTIONS.

LOL! I think that in my case however...the Attention Deficeit Disorder helps me to move around in my no one can ever really pinpoint one particular thing and nail me with it.

But, again, to answer your question....yes, it is entire possible...and likely that your friend is displaying addictive...or Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder......and a word of warning....NOT everyone can see their own behaviors as clearly as I have learned to do...and face up to them. Most of us are only "dangerous" to ourselves...but beware...we can also make life pretty miserable for others who expect us to control our compulsiveness.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
How many regret marrying their spouses
Posted: 10/7/2012 3:20:58 PM

(1) Did you ever regret marrying your spouse, and how many years into the marriage?

1st spouse: Yes, and no. We had 2 beautiful children, so NO in that regard...I don't regret having them, but I said "I do" knowing that I was not in love with him....and knowing that he probably was not in love with me either. We were both 19. He couldn't afford to go out on his own....and I "wasn't allowed" to be out on my own unless it was with a Husband...or an "adult relative". Alas....I was a "nice girl"....and "nice girls" did NOT leave their parents home to get apartments of their own....or live with girlfriends. My family had actually "chosen" a husband for me, but I escaped...narrowly...having to marry a man almost twice my age who because he was financially well off, and frankly....could deal with my IQ. (Intelligent women were highly frowned upon in the 1960s)
2nd spouse: Yes, I think I was in love with him....but honestly...I'm not sure. I was divorced with 2 children....had hopes of having more children...and he was not only a good father....he was a good father who had custody of his 10 yr old son....which was nearly unheard of in the 1970s. We were married for 25 years.....but I remember telling him when he asked me what I wanted for our 10th Wedding Anniversary....I replied..."A divorce???" He thought I was joking. We're still best friends, NO intimacy.....but I wouldn't pretend that what we ever had was really a "marriage" was more of a "business partnership".

LOL! Did you bump your head??? Yes, I'd certainly choose a different partner.....but I still don't think I'd ever do it all over again. Some people are just NOT cut out to "be married"....and I'm pretty sure that I'm one of reflection on men.....I just don't play the role of "wife/child" well...and that's essentially what marriage is all about.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 136 (view)
Anyone else growing old alone?
Posted: 9/7/2012 9:44:54 AM

I have already accepted the fact that I will be sitting on my porch swing, 30 years from now, alone and I'm ok with it. Am I subconsciously sabotaging any potential relationships due to this mentality?

I think that ONLY YOU can answer that question (for yourself)....Are you?

To me, it's sounds like you're displaying the "mentality" of a normal, emotionally well balanced individual who is capable of ACCEPTING whatever comes along. LOL! ALL ex's tell you "I'm the BEST thing that ever happened to you", "nobody else will ever care for you", and "you can't get by alone"'s always convince themselves that THEY are victims or your bad judgement...yada, yada, yada.

Millions of people DO "get through live alone" what's that tell you about his "mentality"???

I am "alone" (not really...I have children and pets) by nearly age 60. At age 45...I was very happy learning to be an individual...but in the back of my was something I felt I needed to learn before I could be a happy "part of a couple"....and I never imagined that 15 yrs later....I would STILL be happy just being an individual! At age bothered me some....thinking that I would never find someone who would/could accept who I am....and I'd grown to be quite happy with who I've become. By age 55, LOL! I"m too busy to even worry about whether or not I'm "alone"....and in fact, most often ENJOY being alone.
I think also that people (needy ones) see "aloneness" as a very literal physical thing, when it's absolutely NOT necessarily so. I have friends, family....and a very active life....and an endless list of things that I still want to DO before I die. Many people who are "alone" are actually living fuller lives than those who are partnered with someone who sits on the couch waiting for the undertaker to come and pick them up.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
What’s in your “junk’ drawer”? Does it reveal anything about a person?
Posted: 8/28/2012 6:42:23 PM

@ GrandmaBooBoo, I will trade you my really old firecrackers for your small set of screwdrivers & your two marbles.

Well.....OK...but you'll have to throw in your fake bugs and eyeball....cause these are some really lucky aggies!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 98 (view)
What is a demanding woman?
Posted: 8/27/2012 8:21:19 PM

Gawd, another hatfield/mcCoy thread! Most of you need to get laid more...
ROFL!!!! are soooooo RIGHT.....BUT....just try to get that, and the only response you're going to get is: {whine, pout}...."if only you loved ME as much as you do my d1ck"!!! LOL! Don't blow smoke up my skirt boy...I've been around this barnyard more than a few dozen times....I know how the game works!

This trait goes back to childhood. It applies to men as well as women, but in a different way. For the female: A pouting child that wants something, and gets it. In their teens, and at first becoming intimate with the opposite sex, they will apply what has always worked. The male, even though he has every intention of giving her what she wants, will hold off to watch her pout. Both smile, so they both must like it, because they both will get what they want.
Ohhh, I so totally agree with you, and admire your very astute perception! It IS all just a childish game, played by BOTH genders.....HOWEVER....I have NOT witnessed a dramatic decrease in this behavior (in men/or women) simply by turning 35 yrs of age. The age of the male I spoke of....was 40....I was 46 at the time. Our "dates" were frequently postponed by HIS sporadic work schedule, but NEVER altered by my own which was....7 days a week....2:30 pm til 11 pm....but...I DID work a ton of overtime....most nights (mornings...until 2:30am....and frequently having to be back in to work at 6 am.) Since it was a 45 min. drive home, I spent a lot of nights crashing for 3 hrs in a hotel room rather than spending 1/2 of my much needed sleep time driving.
Perception...and MATURITY is everything! Some people don't throw fits because we DO realize that (as I stated before) in the "grown up" world...people have responsibilities that sometimes HAVE to take priority.
Another example: I paid alimony to my ex for 2 years, and there was no end to the criticism I suffered (fr0m the boyfriend) for voluntarily making this concession in exchange for "buying" my ex out of my pension benefits. I also delayed (for almost 4 years) filing for divorce...even though we'd lived separately for over 5 years at that point.....BECAUSE I was waiting for him (my ex hubby) to get a job and HEALTH INSURANCE. Had I divorced him before would have cost me another....$800 a month. The moral of the whole story IS...that MANY MEN seem to be outraged when women assume the same responsibilities that they feel are reserved for "men only"....proving to me, at least...that men just adore, dependent and DEMANDING women....who are incapable of filling their own needs....and expect men....or anyone else who's do it for them.

The "movie" me, sounds like nothing more than manipulation. LOL! it's also reminiscent of the "rude awakening" I got in 1973....after getting married, and finding out that I was no longer "allowed" to...go visit my grandparents, friends, other relatives....unless hubby was there to "supervise" me!!!! LOL!
It also reminds me of the time....circa....1990....when I asked my husband, who was going to college, evenings....
Me: "Don't any of your classmates ever stop after class for a beer?"
Him: "yeah"
Me: "well....don't they ever ask YOU to join them?"
Him: "yeah"
Me: "Well....WHY don't you???"
Him: "I dunno.....I'm just rather come home and be with you". "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

OMG!!!!! Noooooo...but I DO work 70+ hrs a week, raise 4 kids, keep this big a$$ house going....and I'm TIRED....but that doesn't mean that HE has to stop doing stuff HE likes just because I'm not there holding his hand every freaking minute!!! BTW....the man was 48 yrs old at the time!.....and always whinning that "I didn't "need" him". LOL! what I NEEDED....was for him to STFU...and act like a grown up!!!! I was 38 yrs old....I didn't need to be joined at the hip to feel "secure".

I'm pretty sure that I stopped needing a "babysitter" before I was about 10 yrs old....AND, EVERYONE...male or female....has the be tired, or not interested in....whatever. To me, it's all pretty ask 'em....and if they aren't interested, then you make other arrangements and EVERYONE should be happy!!! RIGHT?????? No harm, no foul....everyone gets what they go on your merry way...and maybe you'll click on some common interest tomorrow...or next week. What IS the big deal??? People just make life way more complicated than it NEEDS to be!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 94 (view)
What is a demanding woman?
Posted: 8/27/2012 5:59:44 PM
I think everyone was pretty well covered all the bases in DEFINING what being a "demanding woman" IS...but I must "dispute" the statement (which you read...somewhere) that demanding women "scare" men. I've found through many years of personal experience....AND in a few hundred threads here on POF that the opposite is actually true.

"Neediness" seems to be the vogue these days....and is often worn like a badge of honor....that the more "needs" one has...the more desirable they are as mates.

Not being very took 3 relationships...with men telling me that "I don't have enough "needs" to make them feel necessary"....and I realized that most men prefer women who "need" them....than they do women who just "want" them. Apparently a lot of men find more "security" in being "needed" women with a lot of demands give them that feeling of security they seek.

All of these terms are subjective of course....and one hardly complains about a "demanding" mate.....until they have difficulty fulfilling those "demands".

I've always been rather baffled by the concept, but my confusion doesn't change the observations...that many men LIKE having demands placed on them. last relationship (yeah many years ago)....he called while I was shopping for the wine for a romantic dinner that WE had planned. He had to "cancel" because he'd been "called in" to work. HE was really upset that *I* didn't get angry! "You're NOT going to "punish" me???, he asks. ?????? No, of course not. In the real adult world, $hit happens, people have jobs and responsibilities that often take precedence over personal desires. Over an 8 yr long relationship....he would "punish" me.....hundreds of times....for NOT throwing a temper tantrum over a cancelled date!!!
This is just one of hundreds of instances I can think of where a MAN (several different ones) has literally come unglued over a women (this one)...not making them jump through hoops.

In a nutshell.....I think that if YOU are the "demanding woman" in question......I wouldn't give it a second to a good many's a desirable trait.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
No Affection
Posted: 8/16/2012 1:37:42 PM
ROFL!!!! I see you've met my EX husband Op!!!!

As for the cause....pick one...of many. I tried for YEARS to figure it out, and never did. Don't get me Ex is a good man...steady, dependable, even tempered, responsible, supportive, good father....just NO PASSION!!! NONE!!! EVER!!!! The man simply wouldn't get excited about anything if you set him on fire.

I have however come to realize that "passion" is something that one either HAS...or doesn't! It can't be "learned"....or "faked" (for long). It's also a "double edged sword".... if one has it in the bedroom....EXPECT to see it in almost every other area of life as well.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
What’s in your “junk’ drawer”? Does it reveal anything about a person?
Posted: 8/10/2012 6:44:37 PM
WOW OP!!! Compared to yours junk drawer is really...REALLY boring! I have a small bowl of assorted screws, nuts, bolts, thumb tacks...and spare Christmas light bulbs and fuses. In another bowl, I have some string, a small collection of twist ties, 2 marbles and some picture frame repair parts. I also, for some odd my electric carving knife and turkey baster there....possibly because I only use them once a year. I have a set of corn on the cob trays...with corn holders...and the key to my upright freezer. In another small plastic tray I have a couple spools of thread and a 1/2 package of sewing needles. There's a small "toy" which belongs to my Grandson...a crystal which hangs on a small battery operated motor and when the clamp which holds the crystal to the motor isn't sticks onto a window and creates a "rainbow" on the wall. :-( I really need to fix that for him! There is a small set of screw drivers supposedly intended to repair eye glasses which I once recieved as a gift from the grandchildren... but can't ever remember using. I will never thrown them away....regardless of their lack of usefulness. There are also a couple of AA batteries....which I suspect may go with the "rainbow maker"....but are probably dead as door nails! LOL! That's just what's in my 24"x30" kitchen junk drawer....I'm afraid to inventory my garage, shed or tool box junk drawers.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
Men's attitudes to women's work
Posted: 8/7/2012 5:14:36 PM
NO're NOT being "sensitive"....and you ARE correct...that society sees the work that women do as much less valuable than men's work. I worked for 30 years in a traditionally male profession (Journeyman pipefitter)...and STILL....both men and women behaved as though my job was just a "hobby". LOL! a 70-90 hr a week HOBBY! They can't see to wrap their heads around the fact that I have bills to pay just like the big boys do...and that I had responsibilities and obligations to my employer and my children.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
Where have the older men gone?
Posted: 8/7/2012 5:05:30 PM
Just clicked on to read my email....LOL!

Hi, not sure how you feel about younger men, but I find you quite attractive!
This...from a 34 yr old.....I'm rapidly approaching 60.

NOT...that I'm not "flattered"...but Dino57 is right. This is all about a "no strings adventure"...and while I admit...I've taken one or two (or maybe three) of those adventure trips must admit to yourself that that is ALL it is, was, or will be.

He is also correct that younger women DO pursue older men... but NOT for the "adventure"...but for the financial security. I'm sure it wouldn't take you too long to name 20 young women who are looking for an "older man" with money, one foot in the grave...and the other on a banana peel....which they will gladly provide if one is not readily available.

So...YES...I do think that you've probably waited too long (LOL!! I KNOW that I have) to find your "forever guy"....but ya know....I'm really perfectly O.K. with that.

Who I really feel kinda bad my 55 yr old...still a virgin, old maid cousin....who is actually...not bad to look at, but who never found time to marry...and now regrets the choice. She spent 17 yrs as a missionary school teacher...and left Nassau Bahamas she said....all the other missionarys were always married before they got there! LOL! She went back to Tennessee, taught for another decade, got her Masters in School counciling, did that for a number of years...retired..and is STILL looking for a husband.

Having already had more than my own fair share....LOL! I'm leaving what's left for the younger ones!
Good Luck to YOU though!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
Risk taking in midlife
Posted: 7/29/2012 1:56:38 PM
LOL! Great question Bicycling Gal!!!

I've always been quite adventureous....worked construction where there were virtually NO women in that field, bought my first motorcycle in 1982....when you RARELY saw a women riding solo....and I vowed to riding rollercoasters when I was 90 yrs old......BUT

Things happen! I had back surgery in 2002...and while I still ride motorcycles and rollercoasters....I HAVE...given up rollerskating!!! LOL! After the seemed really important to me to not let my "disability" keep me from doing the things that I love to do. I actually DID go rollerskating twice after surgery but as anyone can tell you...after spinal loose a LOT of flexibility and sense of balance. I didn't fall down, but there were a couple of "ouch moments" when I had to twist to catch myself...and it really hurt. I remember STUPID I was being....and wondering just what the hell I thought I was trying to prove to myself. IF I'd fallen....I could have seriously injured myself...and then WHO would take the Grandkids to the skating rink???

I think that it's always a process....that we weigh the "risks" with the pleasure we receive in participating in "advertureous" activities. Having children that rely on us is always a prime consideration. THOUGH.....Hot Air Ballooning IS one activity that I PLAN to try out before I die!!! LOL! It's one of the few things that I can still do that won't cause me any more won't cause any less either, but I can be in pain doing something fun just as easy as being in pain doing something boring!!!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
Calling all dog lovers......!!
Posted: 7/18/2012 2:43:28 PM
LOL! my little Shih Tzu Poodle mix has her own wading pool on the back deck, she loves trying to catch the "fish" imprinted on the bottom! She likes drive in movies, going out on the boat, chasing ducks.....pretzels...and ICE CREAM!!!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 123 (view)
Middle aged man, new Camaro
Posted: 7/18/2012 2:38:25 PM

Would it be better to drive my clean but 6 year old truck for a first meeting or date?
Ladies, What do you think?

I didn't look to see exactly how "middle aged" you are Mark...but personally.....I would MUCH prefer being picked up in the pick up truck! Mother keeps trying to give me her 1986 Cadillac....with only 34,000 miles on it.....she thinks that I "need" something more "luxurious" to drive....and keep trying to explain to her that I CANNOT get out of an "automobile". I can get in without too much trouble....but trying to get OUT of it is an agonizing experience!
While "bent"....I have to try to stand and lean forward to miss hitting my head on the roof. NOT an easy task for someone who's had back surgery and enough hardware to build a 2 story building implanted in their spine!

As for fulfilling YOUR dream of owning a Camaro........if I were you, I'd just enjoy it and not worry about what anyone else thinks!!! :-) I had a 1969 myself.....LOL! about 40 years ago!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 243 (view)
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/8/2012 6:25:21 AM

And I didn't want to tough it out being married working at Wal-Mart or the equivalent.

Boo-hoo. Some of us swallowed our pride and took what we could get at the moment.

AGREED!!! LOL! We didn't even have "Wal Marts" in my part of the country 36 years ago when I spent 4 months living in my car....with my 1 and 2 year old daughters. NOR, did we have "day care centers" and especially....we did NOT have "government subsidized child care" so from my 1 full and 2 part time jobs......I paid over 60% of my net income just to pay for a babysitter so that I COULD work. There were NO....I mean....NONE "food stamps" for anyone who was employed, regardless of how little they earned.

Over the years, I've taken a lot of criticism, stopped going to Baptist churches, and learned to ignore the negative and hatefully selfish opinions of those who feel they have the right to dictate HOW others "make it" though this life. When someone recognized that I was a "good worker" with gumption...and a good mechanical aptitude offered me the opportunity to take an apprenticeship test for a construction trade, I jumped at the CHANCE to WORK to give my children and myself a better life. I once commented (to someone who questioned WHY "a pretty woman" was willing to do such physically difficult and grossly dirty labor), that "For what they're paying me....I'd carry $hit on a teaspoon back and forth to Cleveland all day!"

A LOT of people never get those "opportunities". Granted, there are those who DO get the opportunity, and turn their noses up at the thought of doing "menial" work, but I think that MANY people who end up "living on a shoestring budget" just literally have struggled their whole lives to get by and will continue to do so.

I also believe that for myself....Gwendolyn, and Wooby (and others), though they will have to either confirm or deny my own personal belief....I think that "hitting bottom" and having NO HELP.....NO WHERE to turn but to ourselves was in reality....a BLESSING! I think that IF, I had had even the "minimum" amount of "help" that I would have likely stayed in the "rut" of "just getting by". As hard as it is for me to think of allowing any family to be homeless and children to be hungry.....we must admit that SOMETIMES having no where else to turn works to an individuals advantage in the long term.

NOT everyone who is knocking on poverty's door is there because they were lazy or unmotivated and I thank God daily that I was blessed with a good mind and a strong body.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 78 (view)
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:49:16 AM
LOL! I think that finding my partner wearing my underwear probably wouldn't bother me too much.....UNLESS....he looked better in it than I do.....that might tick me off!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 72 (view)
Why does Society look down there nose and people who remain single
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:47:17 AM

Nobody who ever knew my ex asks why I haven't remarried, they know I'm still suffering from PTSD 20 years later.
ROFL!!! I like that one!

I just tell people that I served my 25 yrs and was PAROLLED!!!! (Murders get off with lighter sentences!!!)
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 188 (view)
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/2/2012 6:41:21 PM

And when a woman abandons a career to become the loving, dutiful wife, what happens to her if the marriage ends in divorce or death? Oh, right, she gets married again.
Whewwww! Well, I know that most people call it "remarriage"....but *I* call it....."legalized prostitution". The idea that any woman (or man for that matter) who marries because it's the only means of survival available to them.....just turns my stomach. It's really sad that so many men 2012 see this as a perfectly acceptable "tool" in finding a woman to marry. YUKKK!!!!!!

I do think however, that what men look for in a partner is changing. While "older men" 50+ are looking for 30 yr old hotties, younger men seem to care less about physical looks and prefer maturity, sense of responsibility, and financial stability. LOL! I disagree with tibcon....and believe that intelligence is STILL the #1 "enemy" to women looking for a mate however. LOL! I dunno.....maybe I'm still traumatized from all the years of my Mother droning in my ear..."KAREN!!!! If you DON'T STOP letting these boys know how smart you will NEVER get a husband!!!!" OMG!!! I still have occasional nightmares over it!

I do disagree however that ALL "attractive people" seek out other "attractive people"....though I have no reliable basis for my conclusion other than personal experience. As a harmless old Granny nowadays, maybe it won't sound conceited to say...that 20 years ago (in my 40s) I was considered quite a "dish"....and I totally shunned "attractive men". I admit it! It's a prejudice that I was never able to overcome even knowing how unfair it was. I ALWAYS preferred men who were "average" to "below average" BECAUSE the fact that they even approached me was what I considered as proof that they had guts....and self esteem! Far too many men were as biased against attractive women as *I* was against attractive men! And whoever said the whole "good looking" thing gets boring is correct! Honestly, it's insulting after a few hours when a guy tells you a million times how beautiful you are, and quite frankly....he doesn't give a hoot about YOU....he's just complimenting your parents for their good genetic composition! Looks are NOT about the individual at all...they're about their ancestory! Characteristics that speak of the INDIVIDUAL are....intelligence, humor, kindness, creativity and talent, a strong work ethic, compassion, charity, confidence. I may be a sucker for a bearded man who's a great kisser...but without at least 4-5 out of those 9 characteristics....I don't care how good looking he is, or how much money he's got....I'm not interested.

LOL! NOW.....I have no freaking clue what one does at a "pagan nunnery", but my New Years Resolution every year is to do 10 NEW things that I've never done before....LOL! so...I'm IN!!!!

And just so all you applicant's know......GrandmaBooBoo's Home for Wayward Seniors is open to those on a "shoestring budget" or no budget at all. Black, White, Yellow, Green or Purple, visits by grandchildren and overnight guests wearing some gawd aweful tacky plaid golf shorts with white socks and Jesus sandals are welcome too....but I can't guarantee total supression of the giggles!!!!

I had hoped that before I died I would see the end of the days when a woman....single, old maid, widowed or divorced would have to spend her "golden years" as if she were again the "dependent child" of a man or her own grown child. I do not think that my wish will be fulfilled in my lifetime, but as far as it is within my power to help "elderly" women live as adults...with choices....and dignity....this much I swear to do.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
Why does Society look down there nose and people who remain single
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:25:19 PM

For a while many companies and executives viewed marriage as a benefit when time for promotions. If you could make a long-term commitment like marriage, somehow that would translate to you being committed to the company long-term as well.

Yes, there's that, but there is also the philosophy that a spouse and kiddies demand time and attention which employers feel that they're paying for....24/7/365.

LOL! Oddly enough....or maybe not so odd at all.....but my company seemed to give preference to single employees for weekends and holidays like July 4th and and Labor Day.....and reserved priority vacation time off to married folks for Thanksgivig and Christmas. The thought was that singles "needed" to be out on weekends and prime drinking holidays looking to get laid....LOL! and us married people were just S.O.L. For me, it's didn't a maintenance construction worker, I was on call 24/7/365....and never even knew WHAT day it was.

But, someone in another post brought up some points from Consummer Psychology which I think are pretty valid. "Marriage" sells a lot of products. Everything from flowers, jewelry, toasters, houses, bigger automobiles, more TVs and video games. I'm sure there have been studies done!!! Maybe singles just spend too much on "non-durable" goods?

I still think that a big part of the "push" for marrying off us happily singles IS....that married people are simply peddling their own product. Let's face human beings we do tend to look around at what others are doing (or not doing) to guage our own sense of what's "normal". With more and more people CHOOSING to remain single, it's gotta make some married people curious about WHY we prefer a single life to a married one.

There's that, plus hiring woman meant maternity leave. And then they'd need to hire someone to do your job while you're out. No wonder we have to have fair hiring laws.
As Gwendolyn has pointed out......MEN now take "maternity" leaves as well! (Family Medical Leave) I took "maternity leave 1 time.....I was out a total of 4 weeks. LOL! I know men who took medical leave for "out patient" gall bladder surgery and stayed off work for 6 months! AND, as someone else has already pointed out.....MOST (I think it's almost 55% now) births are to SINGLE mothers, so while there USED to be bias agaist married women because of the possibility of pregnancy, those tables have completely reversed themselves.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 147 (view)
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:12:20 PM

Whoa! Can we spell "sexist"? Keep those darned women in the professions that befit women.

^^^^^ Ahhhh, yeah....what she said!!!

This has me confused though.

Her thought was she didn't want to owe me anything. I feel paying for the meal is my payment for your time during the meal not afterwards. Especially as in this instance our particular yearly incomes are 2:1. And I get paid to eat, she (mother of 2) doesn't
I was quite offended to be honest.
First....I'm wondering ....HOW did you KNOW what she was thinking??? HOW do you KNOW that your income ratios are 2:1....and WHAT does being the mother of 2 have to do with any of that?
Since my crystal ball has been broken, I don't know what SHE was thinking, but I would have been highly offended to have a man (outside of a relationship) overrule me when I make a decision. Another issue would be, that she COULD feel as I do...that my TIME is NOT "for sale" to anyone other than my employer, and I would resent anyone feeling that "every woman has her "price".....even for her time. How exactly was SHE supposed to "thank you" for YOUR time....if in fact she's enjoyed how the time was spent?

Why should a person be forced to accept a gift? She SAID that she wanted to pay and he ignored her. Why should she have been grateful?
Yes, I'd have to agree. She made a decision, HE ignored it, even to the point of aggressively grabbing the check. If it had been as simply and pure as he's making it out to be....why not just simply ASK her if she would reconsider and allow him to buy breakfast as an appreciation for her time? Seems to me that he MEANT to leave her no options. Had some dialog been ALLOWED (before he grabbed the check) she might have been able to graciously accept...and respond with ...."ONLY if you allow ME to buy the next time."

I certainly could understand you feeling offended.. Like offering someone a gift and them tossing it back in your lap saying I do not want it..
WOW!!!! I've had many men offer me what I thought were inappropriate gifts and I have certainly rejected "gifts" on numerous occassions. While a casual breakfast is usually harmless enough, I hardly think it can be lumped into the "gift" catagory, and if it were, any LADY is completely free to determine what she considers "appropriate'. Granted, I'm a bit old fashioned, but there were some DEFINITE "rules" about what a "nice girl" was and was NOT allowed to accept from a man back in the day. What some consider "chivalry" what my Grandma would have called "tacky, rude and disrespectful" behavior.

BTW.....putting in my order for Wooby's book!!!! LOL! should come in very handy!
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
Why does Society look down there nose and people who remain single
Posted: 7/1/2012 5:14:14 PM

Why does Society look down there nose and people who remain single?

LOL! Because....."Misery loves company".....maybe they're all just lonely.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
Awaiting Supreme Court Decision on Health Care Mandate
Posted: 6/28/2012 9:01:10 PM

Dan Danner, president and CEO of the National Federation of Independent Businesses, which took the case against the law’s "individual mandate" to the Supreme Court, said he is “disappointed,” but vowed to “move forward from today to continue to fight, harder than ever, for real health-care reform for our membership.” Danner warned that, under the healthcare law, “small-business owners are going to face an onslaught of taxes and mandates, resulting in job loss and closed businesses.”

The Small Business Majority, on the other hand, applauded the court’s 5-4 decision, calling it a “victory for small business owners who have struggled with the excessively high cost of health insurance for decades.” The group says the Act tackles small business owners’ top priorities—cost and accessibility—and predicts that the law will “significantly rein in costs while providing more health coverage options for entrepreneurs.”

Countering the Federation's prediction of shuttered businesses, the Small Business Majority points to a way the law could give a boost to business: Without the Affordable Care Act, would-be entrepreneurs with preexisting medical conditions are locked into current jobs with employers who offer health coverage, unable to launch new companies or help grow the economy. The new health care law will presumably free more people to get health insurance coverage independent of large employers, and therefore to innovate on their own.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
Awaiting Supreme Court Decision on Health Care Mandate
Posted: 6/28/2012 7:31:24 PM
Finger on the delete button.....PLAY NICE BOYS....LOL! Or Grandma will have to get out her wood spoon! No name calling please Paul...and be respectful.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
Awaiting Supreme Court Decision on Health Care Mandate
Posted: 6/28/2012 7:08:51 PM
WOW! You guys have been really busy while I've been working all day!

I just read an article in the Washington Post which claims that.....The Affordable Care Act is expected (at least by the author) to CREATE a BUNCH of new entrepeneurs!!!! Apparently in the world of entrepeneurship there's a saying that the #1 thing a man needs to start a business IS.....a wife with a job which provides health insurance!!!!
Apparently, they believe that MANY talented people who work for large corporations WOULD love to break away and start there own companies...but are afraid to be without family health insurance. Apparently they believe that this is going to stimulate a slew of small local businesses......which...should be good for competition...right?

Ohhhhh, and BTW....the last poll that I saw says that Americans favor the Act by 52% for, 48% against.....just FYI.
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