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 Author Thread: Wanting that elusive last word or knowing the truth about the end. Anyone else feel the same?
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 54 (view)
Wanting that elusive last word or knowing the truth about the end. Anyone else feel the same?
Posted: 9/27/2011 8:24:55 AM
Op, honestly, I think if you ever did get your "talk", she would never be honest. She, like so many others, was always working a second, maybe even more. Snakes are snakes, good thing you didn't get bit by that one. She scared/scarred you pretty bad, but nothing you can't survive without knowing.
Lucky for you someone else gets the calculating cheater. As others have said( well sort of), count your blessings. For her to have taken off with this guy so quickly, you could well have ended up with more than just a broken heart, if you know what I mean. ;) I was married to one, and dated one, and feel particularly lucky to have done so.
Go to therapy if you must, go to confession, talk to a friend, but do not talk to her. As has already been said, you give her power when you try to communicate with her. That only strokes that persons ego. She has made her choice. She'll change her mind again one day. We are the choices we make, for good or bad. Make good ones. Wish them well if you must.
As always, peace

Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
A poem
Posted: 9/20/2011 12:27:46 PM
This is a poem I wrote a few months ago about an old girl friend.

So tired of how things are. I can't believe it's gone so far.
I only wanted you for me. You only wanted to be free.

How come I was the last to know, that all you wanted was to let me go.
I wanted to love and take care of you. You wanted this chapter to be through.

I guess I fell for you to fast. You weren't looking for something to last.
I turn my head, and walk away, and in your chest, your heart will stay.

I can't undo the pain you've felt. I can't replay the cards I've dealt.
Give up on love, I know you will, and keep your pain that bitter pill.
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
Afraid to commit or just a player ?
Posted: 9/20/2011 7:48:38 AM
Good answer Abelian. I should have done that. You shouldn't invest anymore into her than a FWB. Some people want to think its greener on the other side. Remember weeds are green too! I had exclusivity, but it only means something among honorable people. Your lady did show herself as at least somewhat honorable, in that she wasn't ready.
I would take the advice of some of the other posters, repost your POF profile as similar as the one before, and start backing out of the relationship. She is probably looking for something better herself. Please do not invest yourself any further, it will only make it harder, later. My guess is that by doing this she may just have a change of heart.
If you ever show any weakness, you will not look like the guy she was attracted to. She will look for a "man". BE the guy she met, Be yourself. But most of all, Be ready to walk away. You already sense a crack in this relationship.
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
Am I in denial or just a bad person?
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:47:57 AM
Forum you always have such good post. OP no need to try and patch this up. He will never respect you, he will just know you're weak. Call you needy, passive/agressive etc. Make him invisible. I suggest you take sometime off from dating, involve yourself in other things for a while. If you get into another relationship to soon, you'll probably be the person hurting someone else. You have recieved a lot of good advice (and some not so good). Love hurts, scars remind. Remember your scars, and avoid the things that gave them to you.

Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
A Break???? What???
Posted: 9/19/2011 11:25:49 AM
Op, forget this guy. Ok, nothing everyone else isn't saying. However, he has been looking for a while I'll bet. A serial dater, probably while you guys had the least little break from being together. I dated one of these snakes before myself. You'll be blamed for their lack of character, somehow. They will bend anyone's ear that will listen to talk about you. Just remember, he is the one with the issues. Do not try to patch it up. I suggest that you do not date for a couple of months. You might mess up some poor soul because you are not really ready for another relationship. Go out with friends, stay away from where he frequents, and stay busy.
Good luck to ya!
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 50 (view)
How do you pick out the good ones?
Posted: 9/18/2011 8:19:01 PM
Okay, I didn't read every post, but here is how I do it.
1. I check out there pic online, if there is a pile of junk/garbage in the back ground they are out. Red flag!
2. I always walk a woman to the car, open the door for them, etc. This way I can see if they are riding in a rolling trash can. Red flag!
3. Okay, we've gotten this far. When they invite me in, does it look like they have cleaned up for company? Go to the bathroom, hers, if you can, you'll know what to expect,nasty, Red flag!
4. Okay, she has made it this far, (only three have made it this far for me), her kids, do they get along with mine. My son is so easy going, it is hard not to. Do they get along with each other? No, Red flag!
5. The next part takes a little time. Some where around six weeks, some longer, she should begin to show her true colors. Now, she will either instigate some kind of drama, or want to move in. If it is some other kind of drama, dump her and NEVER look back. Yeah, I know, the s_x was incredible, but run! This will only leave you like a mad dog in a meat house, snapping at everything! Better six weeks plus licking your wounds, than talking to lawyers about what you would like to keep. On the other hand, moving in! Like drugs, just say no! Some women/men just seem so comfortable. Red flag! Give it some time, if they really love you/want you, this will not be a problem.
6. Know there finances, do they need you, or are they OK.
7. Not sure how many I speak for, but insurance. If you can save them five hundred plus a month, you are one handsome man.

There is, of course, many other items you could put here. This should help you at least dump the worst of them. Everyone has an agenda, hidden or otherwise. Yes, there are some good ones out there. But if they have psycho profile, run! They have already tipped there hand.

Good Luck
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
I don't get it...
Posted: 9/16/2011 10:06:23 AM
This sounds like a troll post to me. You block him, then unblock. you take his phone calls, and now your "talking" about blocking them. I shouldn't have to say a word, block him. You put some kind of verbiage on your on your profile, then edit it out, why?Because your addicted to the drama. You are trolling him onto the forums by blogging about him. I recommend you delete this posting. I vote troll post.:modhammer:
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