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 Author Thread: How much younger is too young?
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 133 (view)
 
How much younger is too young?
Posted: 3/9/2009 9:12:51 PM
There are no real rules, but the half + 10 rule seems to be a good place to start.
---- Take your age divide by 2 and add 10 years. ----
I know the formula flakes out under 20 and isn't much use until 30. But, it's something to play with.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do men ever change?
Posted: 12/11/2008 8:08:24 PM
ducking –

Not trying to make any excuses for your guy. It sounds like he has a lot of real problems he needs to take care of, but you having a profile on this site might be sending a few mixed signals. Your profile marital status is “Living Together”. But, the way it reads…you’re still looking for prince charming. On top of that it sounds like there are major trust issues (eg, him flirting, you reading his mail). I’m not saying you should trust him and there appears to be plenty reasons not to, but you can’t have a healthy relationship with someone you can’t trust…it just doesn’t happen.

Stay focused on your baby and making sure he/she is being raised in an emotionally and physically healthy environment. If dad wants to be part of that, that’s great. But, he needs to get his crap together so he is part of that healthy environment and that is not likely to happen without a lot of work on his part and some serious help.

After making sure all the baby’s needs are taken care of, if you have extra energies to spend helping him get past his issues and you figure he is worth it…go for it. But, he is going to have to make that decision to change and he is going to need someone he can trust to be there for him, and it will likely get worse before it gets better.

Just keep putting your baby’s wellbeing first and you will do fine.


One guy’s opinion.


I wish the best of luck to all three of you!
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Would like to Keep it Professional and Friends ONLY
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:33:22 PM
You have the ball on this one. If there is any chance you would act on your crush, you should get as far away from the situation as possible, as soon as possible. I can’t help to think you are already having doubts that you will be able to maintain things as they are or you probably would not have started this post. If you can’t get away from the situation, at the very least make yourself accountable with his girlfriend (your friend).

The number of ways your situation can go wrong way out number the one very thin line you are going to be walking to keep things right. If something does go wrong, a lot of people (kids included) are going to end up getting hurt.

One guy's opinion.

Good luck!
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 179 (view)
 
what makes you lose respect for your partner?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:34:40 PM
Respect is rooted in trust. No trust…No respect.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Did I make a mistake?
Posted: 5/2/2008 6:55:31 PM
Usually I can keep my emotions separate from the sex but I guess I slipped a bit


Why...would...you want to do that? ...can you do that?



 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Wants to date my daugher....WTF
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:21:48 PM
Being he didn’t ask how she looked, I figure he couldn't have been serious.

...by the way...is she cute?
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Wants to date my daugher....WTF
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:16:26 PM
OP –
Settle down. At “102” he was more then likely giving you s*** about the photo you have posted from almost 30 years ago.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 178 (view)
 
My beef about PART TIME dads who identify as SINGLE dads
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:05:11 PM
OP –

REALITY CHECK
Sometimes life doesn’t work out quite the way one would like. I am comfortable saying life is not even close to the way anyone here originally envisioned it would be. I like POF, but I don’t think this was part of anyone’s original “life plans”.

The only power you have is how you react and deal with life as it is today.

In my opinion, you need professional help now!

On the bright side, you may be able to get a group rate, if you can talk the rest of the “single mom’s group” into getting help as well.


--Parenting Note -- (from a full time dad that only gets to be with his kids part time)
Don't put the crap you are carrying around with you on your kids. They deserver the chance to grow up and screw up their own lives, and will have every opportunity to do so, without your help.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What does hang out mean?
Posted: 11/3/2007 6:27:56 PM
Are there any “I am looking for” selections that DO NOT get twisted into a guy wanting to have sex with woman?


I just want to make sure I don’t select it by mistake.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Would you date a bicurious/bisexual woman?
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:07:36 PM
The whole woman/woman thing is a fad.


...only since about 600BC...maybe it will start sliding next millennium


Bummer about your tattoo and auto choices.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Its like shopping for a pair of shoes!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 7/22/2007 6:35:37 AM
Never really though about it that way...

She usually doesn’t really want the shoes until someone else has picked them up and trying then on.

Figures she will go ahead and buy them and if she doesn’t like them she can keep the receipt and take them back.

When she goes shopping with a friend, she usually comes back with some for herself.
(Often ticked off her friend got the pair she wanted)

Very rarely does she buy only buy one pair...and usually has several in the closet at home.

She is always, always, always, ready to go to the next shoe sale.


...oh...and are we going to match her purse??




Kind of 5ucks to be a shoe.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Would you date a bicurious/bisexual woman?
Posted: 7/21/2007 11:17:14 PM
All (most) women are bisexual / bicurious…some just have not realized it yet.

Relationship with a bisexual woman...sure...as long as she don't call me B1tch
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Car or no car?
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:47:50 PM
OP –

Don’t worry, he will be moving in with her soon enough. That way, she will not have waste all that time, money, and gas driving across town to pick him up every night.

Next forum post...
One of my friends has a man living with her, he is his late 30's. She pays all the rent and he does nothing. (she is also a Mom raising two kids on her own). He always expects her to...


The sad part about it...I would be surprised if anything you, her family, or her other friends say is going to change anything.

Nothing against your friend, but some people are wired that way...and if it was not him...it would probably be someone else.


Before it gets really bad, for starters, you might see if you can talk her into going to a boundaries class with you (it’s better to go with a friend).


Good Luck!
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Prenuptial yes or no and why
Posted: 7/18/2007 6:40:00 PM
Hazel Eyes -

Not disappointed. I actually commend your for seeing a bad situation and trying to do something about it.

I like the idea of a pre-nup, but money is really the least of what you are putting on the line when you go into a relationship.


I like bringing up a pre-nup in conversations with the couples that seem to be on that ‘fast track’ to getting married “because we are in love” and when the economic balance seems to be on a tilt.

It is amazing how many times you get a “No Way! I would never sign a pre-nup” ...or “we don’t need a pre-nup...right honey!”
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where are all the intellectual men out there?
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:23:22 PM
Just drop another forum note mentioning you are looking to get a new computer and you would like help deciding if dual core is the way to go.

…or better yet mention you are sick of Microsoft Windows and would like to know what version of Linux is best.





…almost forgot...there is always Chess Club

http://www.uschess.org/directories/AffiliateSearch/clubresultsnew.php?st=ND&pg=1



Hint: Them boys with three first names...probably not geeks.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
All she wants to do is watch porn,have sex ,watch sports and drink beer
Posted: 7/16/2007 11:29:10 PM
Playboy Forum meets Cosmo ...nice
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Prenuptial yes or no and why
Posted: 7/16/2007 10:31:32 PM
Just guessing...a good number of the ones screaming PRE-NUP - “I’m keeping everything that is mine” are the ones that cleaned up on a previous divorce.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I really like him!!
Posted: 7/15/2007 7:15:50 PM
Op –

You putting the other persons needs / feelings before your own already puts you way ahead of most. Keep things honest and follow your instincts and you will do fine.

He is a lucky guy.

Good luck to you both!

 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 7/15/2007 8:34:45 AM
When it comes to scheduling a ‘date’, how open is your schedule?
...and is that communicated to him?

As far as him calling you, have you mentioned a preferred time to call or times not to call? If you just met, he probably knows as much about your schedule as you know about his.

His available time might not line up with what he thinks would be an opportune time to go on date or even call for that matter.

I personally don’t like to have to cancel out on people when plans are made, especially early on. And it’s harder to block out a section of time that will not get interrupted by something.

After you get to know someone it’s a lot easier to call them up and say “hey, let’s go…” But, both know it is not as planned and can weigh the risks of plans changing.



If a guy not not staying in enough contact is part of the problem

...you can always call him...It Only Takes a Minute
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Why don't men call?
Posted: 7/13/2007 10:50:53 PM
If he made a date or told you when he would call and didn't...personally I can't stand flaky people.

But, if it was a general - "I'll call you"
...you can wait...you can dump him...or you could call him

That's why they still try to squeeze those annoying numbers in on the phone keypad.
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 103 (view)
 
GUYS : What is the most frustrating thing you find in women's nature ?
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:05:56 PM
It takes them way to long to figure out I am always right.

 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 123 (view)
 
Is meeting more than one on the same day acceptable behavior?
Posted: 6/30/2007 1:35:13 PM
You go to a party where everyone you meet seems open and interesting...you talk to someone for a few minutes have a few laughs, and figure out you have some common interests. Eventually other party goers come over to join the conversation.

Do you brush the second, third, and fourth people off because you have met ONE person already and don’t know where things might go with that person?
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
What I am feeling and the mail I want to send one last time
Posted: 6/30/2007 12:10:24 AM
...you wrote a ‘new’ letter and sent it. ...nice

After you scrape up what is left of you balls, put them in a baggie and come on...


If my previous post was over the top, it was only because I wanted to reach through my computer screen a slap you on the back of the head.

I know you don’t know any better. But, you have to pull it together or the next relationship is screwed too.


I don’t know what to tell you that has not already been said...and that will make enough sense to you to change anything.

I won’t clam to know all the answers (not in writing anyway)

But, take a look at the posts people have left for you. If you find stuff the men and women are agreeing on...pay attention...take a few notes. There is some good stuff in there. A number of the people here see where you are at and for the most part are trying to help.

The more you can open your mind to the possibility that things might not work the way you currently believe they should, the more time you can knock off that 18 year old dating curve.


One guy's opinion
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What I am feeling and the mail I want to send one last time
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:41:52 PM


I called you everyday after Thursday night and even though I knew your phone wasn't working but I thought you would have let me know at least something as to what you were thinking. I know that your mom is using your cell phone now since she answered it the last time I called your phone which was Tuesday. Why did you give her your phone?


Not to mention the voice mails, “saw you on POF”…

Dude STOP! ...you are lucky she has not called the police already…it’s called stalking.

I think you hit on almost every note you can hit to make a woman RUN!

About the only other thing you can do wrong is buy her some expensive gift to show her how much she means to you...DON’T


I wrote a letter almost exactly like that once; I was in Jr. High School (and bought the roses to go with it).

You learn really quickly you don’t do that one again and somewhere along the way you figure out things are not the way YOU think they should be.

Your first reaction is going to be “No Way!”. Then after some time, if you can let go, you can start seeing how things really work.

I am not going to say it all makes sense all the time…they are women. But, things are about a 180 from where you are standing today.


First: Let Kara go. No phone calls, no letters, NO STALKING! (on-line or otherwise)
(No, you do not have to let her know how to reach you.)

Second: Sign up for a Boundaries class, it will be a good start.

If YOU don’t do something to change, it will happen again.


One guy’s opinion

Good luck!
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
i need some advice
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:27:08 PM
I know it’s cliché, but BE YOURSELF. I think you are trying, but you need to dig a little deeper.


This is how the profile flowed for me...

Read the profile:
I watch TV...I listen to my CDs/radio (but not much else)

Scrolled up to look at the photo:
That must be where she sits to watch TV. (You can almost picture a TV sitting just outside the frame of the photo.)

Scrolled down to the interests (maybe something there):
More music and TV

...Next



It’s all good if all you were looking for is a guy that likes to sit in front of the TV or listen to music all day. But, I don’t think that is where you are trying to go.

If you are not attracting the types of guys you want. Stop for a minute then take look at a day/week/month of your life and pull a few things you enjoyed doing out and write about them.

The more you accurately depict yourself, who you are, what you do, where you are going...and the way you say it, goes a long way.

I seriously funny photo would be you hugging your TV with some huge headphones on.
(a few laughs go a long way)


One guy’s opinion

Good Luck!
 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Is meeting more than one on the same day acceptable behavior?
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:22:00 PM
Why stop at two??

Make all the meetings at the same coffee shop, schedule the meetings every half hour and tell the guys you have 20 minutes (10 min for a bathroom break…you will need it).

Meet up with 2 different guys every hour a couple hours a night. If one shows up early, tell him he will have to wait his turn. If you are hitting it off with someone and time runs out, tell him sorry, but you have another meeting starting on a few minutes. Send him off with a kiss and tell him to call you later.

Do that a few nights a week, you can knock out 12-18 first meetings a week, possibly find a keeper, and have a caffeine buzz that you would not come down from for months.

- or -
You could just invite all your dates to the same place at the same time…and be done with it. (You will not have to deal with the frappuccino moustaches or go the bathroom as often.)

 phxnight
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Sex and Respect
Posted: 1/17/2007 8:24:56 PM
ran across a survey a while back…


roughly 200 men and 200 women were surveyed…

question: if you have been seeing someone for two weeks and in that course of time been on three good dates…would you have sex with that person?


…i don’t recall the actual scores

but, that was only the first part of the survey…


question #2: if you have been seeing someone for two weeks and in that course of time been on three good dates…would you loan them your car?


…found it interesting
 
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