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 Author Thread: Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/30/2008 1:08:08 AM
Some can and some can't. My concern for your future relationship
is whether or not the abuse you've suffered is affecting other areas
of your life, persona and psyche.
A lot of people on here say it won't matter to him if he loves you, but the
truth is that at some point in time it will bother you because you love him.
Try to figure it out now while you are not in a relationship and your next
relationship will be even better, even if he doesn't want you to lick his lollipop.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
How do you kill your emotions?
Posted: 9/27/2008 3:33:48 PM
As a lady acquaintance of mine is fond of saying,
"Build a bridge and get over it!"
Stop whining, it is unproductive and eventually your
friends stop coming 'round.
By now you should have learned what you can from that
last relationship. It's time to pick yourself up, dust yourself
off, get on with life. Don't rush into another relationship.
Become happy with yourself, then don't abandon yourself
the next time you are trying so hard to make someone else happy.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
How do you kill your emotions?
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:50:48 PM
With a dull, rusty knife!
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
tough decision..need feedback...
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:52:07 PM

My conclusion is that you're not emotionally mature and are too emotionally needy for a woman who has anything else in her life but you.

You don't want her back. You want her attention back - focused on you.

Well, sadly you aren't her largest priority at this time, nor should you be.

You asked for our opinions of how we think you handled it, not that our opinions should matter, but I think you handled it how you handled it. If this is truthfully how you are and how you feel then you're the WRONG man for this woman and her children.

Stay away from them.

GoneSailinBabe, You are 100% correct.
I hope he takes your advice.
I'm glad her #1 priority is her kids and not some other mothers needy full grown child.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
tough decision..need feedback...
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:42:07 PM

But, hey, that's just my opinion. That and a buck will get you a cup of coffee.

You must have one heckuva valuable opinion if you can add it to a dollar and get a cup of coffee, cause I kno a buck won't even come close. . .LoL
How much do I have to add to get a ?
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
tough decision..need feedback...
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:32:52 PM
You clearly don't understand the pressures and needs she has.
You can help her best by being there for her when she needs some fun,
and sometimes a shoulder to lean on and a supportive ear.
You told her how you felt. She disagreed but respected your decision.
Sounds like she would have settled for you being a FWB.

I think you realized your fear. You are an insecure wussy.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
I must love myself before I can love you
Posted: 9/4/2008 7:13:17 PM
But seriously, Genuine Woman is right. She did you a favor. I'll bet she would always
have some sort of psycho babble thing going on that would only continue to jerk you around. She will never be happy and if you get back together, she will make sure you
feel guilty about any happiness you enjoy.
Just my own, honest opinion, but hey, I'm 50 years old and I don't have decades to wait on somebody working out why they don't love themselves. If I were you I'd give her credit that she knows herself better than you, and if she doesn't love herself, why should you hang on some lover's cross for her.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
I must love myself before I can love you
Posted: 9/4/2008 7:02:40 PM
Quoting Robin Williams, and maybe many others, "I'm only gonna do it 'til I need glasses.)
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
Expiration Dates
Posted: 8/12/2008 12:08:53 AM
One factor that hasn't been mentioned is the refrigeration. If you have a properly set and working refrigerator, most meats and dairy products will be good well beyond their expiration dates. Deli meats are generally loaded with sodium, nitrates, nitrites, etc., and will last a couple of weeks in the fridges meat drawer. I don't know if 'yogurtier' is a word, but unopened yogurt will generally be good for a month or 2 after the expiration date. The really expensive aged beef and cheeses will generally have mold on them during the aging process. It is cut off before the items are packaged for sale(at very high prices). The smell test is a skill worth learning. If it has
a smell that makes you think of barfing, there's a good chance you will barf if you eat it, even if it isn't bad.
I have a lot of experience with food and cooking for others. I have fed a lot of people and never given anyone food poisoning.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 144 (view)
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:07:20 PM
If you don't continue because of the age difference, you are indeed shallow.
If you don't continue because a big lie has been told to you, you are indeed wise.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 2/18/2008 4:27:11 PM
It says a lot about some of the posters when they suggest that a man paying the tab is showing a higher level of interest. What behavior in a woman suggests she is showing a 'higher level of interest'? Sounds like a hooker or princess scenario to me.
I have money to pay everytime, but it's just dating.
I have known women who couldn't afford much, but most were aware of the expenses and often expressed verbal appreciation.
I have also dated women who had much more money than me. It was typically a
situation where paying was never a big deal, and we took turns paying.
I also dated a woman who openly stated, "I never pay". She was fun to be with,
but her first question every time I asked her out was, 'Are we going out for lunch, or dinner?' I got the feeling that was the highest level of interest in our relationship.
I have known many more women, rich and financially challenged, with a lot to offer
a man(besides sex), that would be offended if someone thought they were golddiggers.
Unfortunately, there are many golddiggers on the streets now, male and female.
I think when some guys are just looking for sex, they are willing to pay for everything.
Those women that expect their dates to always pay, will tend to attract dates that will
always be expecting payback.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
so, i think i love him
Posted: 1/22/2008 12:41:35 AM
It's only been two months. 99.9% of the time, love is deeper than 2 months. I think the reality is not that you love him, but you
love spending time with him and the things you do with him. Tell him you love
spending time with him. Tell him you love some little thing he's done for you.
Make sure he loves spending time with you. Make sure you are doing little things
he loves. Tell him you love him 6 months from now if you still think you love him and you are sure he will be thinking, 'I already knew that because you show me all the time'! If you say it and he doesn't, that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. If you need
to hear it all the time, you probably aren't feeling it. If you aren't feeling it, either
your partner isn't showing it, or you are very insecure and that is very unattractive.
IMHO, what most girls don't understand about
guys is this, guys don't want to HEAR that you love them. They want to FEEL
it and SEE it in your actions. I think most women want to hear it all the time and
this goes against the logical brain that men have. The man is thinking, 'I show you
I love you in all my actions, everyday. How can you not feel and know I love you'?
Men who are players are very loose with those words and don't mind saying it after a month or two. They know that some women can be manipulated by those words.
Honest, caring men can also feel like they are trying to be manipulated when a
woman tells them they love them after a short period of time.
Don't look to FIND the best partner, look to BE the best partner.
Good luck, don't rush it, I hope it works out and you are truly in love with him
50 years from now.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
Cream Of Soups
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:45:56 PM
One of my favorite parts of winter is it is the perfect time for making hot soup.
Potato soup is the best creamy soup for me, but loaded with carbs and very high on the glycemic index. Onions work with it, but leeks are better and add some nice green color. If you are using veggies, make sure they don't get cooked to smithereens!
Fish and seafood go well with a good cream soup, but don't let them cook too long
either, or they will be tough. If you use fish, you can cook it on the side and put it
in at the end, just long enough to heat it up, or put it in the bottom of the empty bowls and ladle the soup over it...MMM
The Velveeta does add some good flavor, and thickens the sauce, but be careful
how much you use because it can make your soup too salty. If you use corn or rice starch to thicken, but try to keep to a minimum.
Try roasting some garlic or butternut squash and smashing it into soup. Make some of the liguid condensed milk or half and half to make it a little richer, and don't forget to add 2 or 3 tablespoons of butter.(Never put margarine in soup...Gross!!)
Cook up a little bacon and crumble it into the soup a few minutes before the soup is done, or on top of each bowl. Some cracked pepper and maybe a shot or 2 of Tabasco also can be a nice topper.
Let me know what time it will be done, I don't want to be late...
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
Key to Starting Relationships: Self Esteem and Validation
Posted: 11/24/2007 8:30:16 PM
Some of what you say is very true, but most of it is just a bunch of unsubstantiated
psychobabble. There is not universal pattern for successful relationships.
You don't know crap about self esteem. I'm guessing you need to write a term paper
and you are looking for material because you haven't lived enough to know anything.
Who are 'most of these people', anyway?
People you know? People you've interviewed and observed?
You seem to be intelligent, but I don't see any concrete evidence.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
Need advice, help, a bullet
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:04:31 PM
I know I'm getting in late on this thread, but here is my opinion.
Answer to question #1:
Yes, she is/was using you.
Answer to question #2
If you spend any more time trying to make sense of the nonsense,
you will lose your mind.
Get fishing! There are a lot of nice women out there looking for nice men.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
We're winning
Posted: 11/4/2007 2:59:02 PM
If we've won, why are our soldiers and Iraqi soldiers and civilians still being killed every day???
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
What to do, what to do? 2 women: a spark & an unknown.
Posted: 9/1/2007 3:33:12 PM
U shudn't ask for peoples opinions if you are only going to start with a little bit of
the whole story.
Reading the other posts, every time someone gives you an answer you don't like
you add/change the story to support the decision you want to go with.
You've already made your decision, why don't you go with it?
If she's shown as much interest as you claim, she'll jump all over you.
You're not worried about her being ready, you're worried about her
saying, "I just wanna be friends with you".
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
What to do, what to do? 2 women: a spark & an unknown.
Posted: 9/1/2007 12:41:04 PM
Also, if Woman A was really interested in you, she would have let you know by now.
Women aren't always totally up front about these things, but I think you would have
seen some subtle clues to her intentions.
One month and four days...Very specific for sure...Sounds like she is either still
obsessing over that breakup, or wants to give that appearance to keep you at a
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
What to do, what to do? 2 women: a spark & an unknown.
Posted: 9/1/2007 12:37:46 PM
You have missed another obvious possibility, and someone else
who might have a plan A, B and...
Maybe Woman B has no plan at all for you. Maybe her gay friend
is using her to see if you are even interested in women, or might be
worth him taking a chance on making you his Plan A.
Me thinks you have overthought all of this. Woman A is your fantasy,
but not likely to ever be more than just a friend. Woman B has already
put her heart out there for you, you are her fantasy. She is probably
very afraid you will reject her because of her MS. I'm wondering how
you even know about it if your total conversation with her is "less than
a paragraph". I think you really are afraid of her MS. Nothing wrong
with that, as long as you aren't lying to yourself about it.
Trust the people on here that have told you not to tell either woman
about the other, unless you fully realize that you are telling them that
your are not primarily interested in them.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 97 (view)
How do I handle a deeply insecure woman?
Posted: 8/27/2007 11:38:17 AM
Diva sums it up best.
The only thing I can add is, "Grow a pair!"
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
Let's talk turkey......and stuff(ing).
Posted: 8/19/2007 4:09:51 PM
Wow!! I never realized how much Thanksgiving is celebrated in the great white north.
Brining the turkey makes for the juciest breasts!
Brine overnight. For a 14lb bird, start cooking @ 350, breast side down for
45mins, then 25mins on each side. Then turn it breast side up and cover with foil for about 30mins, then remove foil to brown the breast skin.
I love cornbread stuffing best, with mushrooms and onions to help keep it moist.
I never put it in the bird, it takes sooo much longer to cook the bird and too easy
to overcook and dry out the meat.
My other favorite side is butternut squash au gratin. So rich, so creamy, I get raves everytime I make it. Key to pealing it is just use a regular vegetable pealer. Yes, it
really works. Slice and blanche for a couple of minutes before puttin it all together for the oven.
Homemade pumpkin pies are easy, and so so much better than store bought.
Last, but not least, do not serve cranberry sauce from a can! Do you know that they haven't canned that stuff in @ least 75 years! We all have known people who have
cans in their pantry since before their grandmothers were born.
Fresh cranberry sauce is so easy. Just take a big microwave safe bowl, slice an apple or two into it, pour in a bag of cranberries. Microwave on high for 5 - 10 minutes, stirring every 2 -3 minutes. The apples pretty much turn to mush and the cranberries all open up and you will have more flavor than you ever thought possible. You will need to add sugar or sweetener to taste, maybe a lot. I also like to add crumbled walnuts and lemon zest. Don't ever have much leftover, but it's so easy to make more
to go on those inevitable turkey and mayo and cranberry sauce sandwiches.
I always start practicing a month early, don't wanna screw up on the big day!
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
Drunk girlfriend
Posted: 6/24/2007 10:54:42 PM
Soulbane, your advice is a recipe for disaster.
My advice to the OP is they both have some growing up to do.
Sounds like neither of them handle alcohol well.
Shitfaced @ 37, twice in 11 months might not be a problem.
Shitfaced @ 37, and being an obnoxious ***hole is a sure sign of an
imbalanced personality and lack of self control.
DO NOT bring children into this relationship or environment.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 10:00:40 PM
U are driving yourself crazy obsessing on what could possibly be with this guy. Wake up and stop being a twit! There are a lot of nice guys out there. This guy is playing games, too busy, or too busy playing games!
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 92 (view)
Best songs for strength and for mourning/pain
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:55:34 PM
Not a new suggestion, but Love Hurts by Nazareth is great.
What about 'Romeo & Juliet' by Dire Straits?
And for the strength one, what about 'Brothers in Arms' by Dire Straits?
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 9:38:05 PM
Hot Damn!!!
I'm famous...I just got quoted on a POF a good way.
Things are gonna start happening for me now!!!
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 9:07:15 PM
If it is true that,
[it is one of the oldest problems in the book and many if not most women (those who have heartbeats and libidos) have experienced that shit. ]
then stop whining if you ever drop your drawers on the first date, and remember
the old saying...
Screw me once, shame on you.
Screw me twice, shame on me...

And by the way,
some guys, and gals, don't come back for a second coming because the first
one just wasn't that good...
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
Good-Looking But Still Single,Why the Misconception?
Posted: 4/8/2007 9:01:10 PM
Kengne is right on.
Just be yourself. Eventually, like minded people will come around you.
Make sure you keep time for your kids, as much as you can.
The type of woman you are looking for will see and admire that.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 8:50:33 PM
Merf seems a bit on the bitter side of life.
Stop making excuses for women who have sex on the first date with hopes
that will somehow keep that guy coming back for the rest of their life.
The guy may or may not be lying, but she is surely lying to herself, or in
serious denial I, as a man, have had occasion to turn down sex on the first date because
I was afraid sex might be taken as a declaration of love and commitment. If
we end up not being a good personality fit, even though everything else fits nicely,
many women, and men too, have problems accepting it's just not gonna work, and
you guessed it....somebody has to take the blame...
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 680 (view)
Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/5/2007 10:58:43 PM
Submissive has very little to do with it for most men.
The asian women tend to be more cooperative in working toward common goals.
The americanized woman (and man) of all ethnicities seem to think the entire world should revolve around them. What I don't like about the americanized woman is
that it seems so many of them want to have the responsibilities of princesses, and
wield the power of the queen.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
Transgender washrooms?? Are they needed?
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:20:06 PM
[The problem comes in when a woman in that
washroom "might" notice that the other "woman" is really a guy. THAT is where the
problem comes in.]

If this is the problem we are going to be needing a lot more labels on a lot more bathroom doors. I'm assuming the other woman above might not be wanting a lesbian ogling her in the 'ladies' room. I know I don't want a gay man ogling us when I'm taking my kids to the bathroom. How about a place for the NAMBLA guys because I want to keep them out of the bathrooms that boys use. Will the women who are trapped in men's bodies need one separate bathroom pre-op, and another separate bathroom post-op? We are up to 8 different bathroom doors in this scenario, and unisex makes 9. I think it's just one more self centered group wanting society to give them special treatment @ the expense of taxpayers and business owners.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 3/9/2007 8:15:36 PM
You are definitely better off without him.
Run like Hell!
I didn't see much in the responses to this article
about looking out for your son. Worry more about
him, and less about your boyfriend.
Don't introduce any new men into your son's life
until he is at least 18.
I know you think of him as your fiance, but seriously,
you were engaged for 3 years. He was never going
to marry you.
I don't think this guy was bi-polar at all. I think he
just wasn't happy with you, didn't want to commit
to you, and didn't know a graceful way out of it.
Seems like all 3 of you have suffered enough.
Time to move on.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
***What is it with the Girls On Here??***
Posted: 3/8/2007 12:41:24 PM
What is your experience with the ladies you have contacted first?
Not all will be interested, and many will have so many responses that
they just can't respond to them all. Also, remember that even the
best hitters in baseball rarely average more than a 30% success rate.
Sadly, many women will not be convinced, from your first email, that
you are their 'soulmate' 'bff' 'trustworthy knight in shining armor' 'love
of their lives'. They usually are looking for saviors, but end up with
boys who are willing to tell them the lies they want to hear.
These women want you to 'accept them as they are'. This usually means
they have something in their lives that they themselves cannot get over.
They would eventually expect you to be responsible for their happiness.
I think they are really just girls dressed up as women.
Be thankful for the responses you don't get.
On the positive side, keep trying. I have found this to be a great website.
I have a good personality, and I am a pretty good writer. I'm not the
cutest, or youngest guy on here, but I have have some nice responses
from nice women, and some quality conversations.
I'm not in a hurry, and I'm enoying the women on here.
Be the best 'man' you can be, and look for a 'woman', not a girl.
You will find her here, or in your day to day.
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