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 Author Thread: Living with Psoriasis
 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Living with Psoriasis
Posted: 3/5/2011 7:39:12 AM
I have had psoriasis for most of my life. I have a very severe case of it. All the treatments, including light, have made it worse. The Drs several years ago said there was nothing to try. Thing is, they have new meds out and I'm not willing to try them for fear of it making it even worse than it is now. I'm at about 70% right now.

Dating, it's about a no results game. I'm disabled from this mess and it is unsightly to say the least. Staying single is starting to look better. The one marriage I did have left me with some serious trust issues, as if I don't have enough to deal with already.

Having psoriasis is just not good.
 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Are we all expecting too much ?
Posted: 10/2/2008 11:28:37 AM
Well, I think some people think the first person they talk to SHOULD be the one. I have to say something here about myself. I think it fits with what people expect. I have always been one to date someone that, shall we say, has a few extra pounds. I talked to one lady a long time ago with nothing but a picture of her face. She told me it was a older picture but that she was just older. When I met her, she was so tiny. About the smallest person I have ever seen. She weighed 92 lbs at the time. She was not what I was expecting but you know what, I liked her a lot and really wish it was a two way street. I would have never expected to fall for someone her size but I think we need to all meet people and just see what happens.

I admit that meeting that lady changed how I see people. I have always heard that you find it when you least expect it and have heard it is often in the place you least expect it too. I have met quite a few people on here and other sites and have to say, I have not regretted meeting any of them. It may be that my partner will have a few extra pounds but it may be that she doesn't either. I'm certainly not going to say that I will not meet someone that is small. What if I pass up that person that is a good fit for me? Wouldn't that be a shame?

Now to try to meet some more people.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 65 (view)
 
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:50:15 AM
I use the favorites as a bookmark sometimes. Sometimes it may be a friend I am talking to or it could be just because the profile was funny or something like that.

I do it this way cause I am really touchy on the cheating thing. I don't even like talking to more than one person at a time unless I know they will be only friends. We can never have enough friends.

I guess it just depends on the person and how they see it.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 283 (view)
 
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 5/31/2008 7:42:17 PM
I didn't read all the replies here but I have a question that maybe a few ladies can answer. I'm a guy but after seeing/meeting someone say three or four times, they think I am not "interested" because I have not cooked them breakfast the next morning. Why is it that ladies complain when a guy respects them enough not to get pushy? Then they complain when we don't get pushy? I'm confused, which do they want? Do they REALLY want a guy that will take the time to get to know them first or not? I do agree with the OP tho, it a bonus. Sex is sex, making love is a whole new thing.

I've also noticed that some ladies say they are tired of games but then play them themselves. That's getting to be another of my pet peeves here. I mean really, if you get a message and you are planning to meet someone else, just say so and if it is meant to be, then get back to them later.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Is age really only a number
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:26:01 AM

You are not a minor child, this was none of your dad and brothers business. And when it comes to your relationships (long term ones, especially marriage,) your family does NOT come first, your relationships does.


I agree with this about 90%. If I had listened to everyone else in my family, I would not be divorced right now. They all saw the lies that I didn't see. Family may not always be right but it may pay to at least consider their opinions.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The ex called and I am sooo sad....
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:07:17 AM
You should do like I did with my ex. After the divorce was final, I changed my phone number. I wouldn't go back to that situation for ANY reason. If you wouldn't go back to yours, then maybe you should do the same, change the number.

Some people you can remain friends with, some you can't. We have both found one that you can't, or at least shouldn't.

My $0.02 worth.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:53:10 PM
I think it depends on the people talking. If it makes you uncomfortable then say you would rather not talk about it this soon. I don't bring it up but I do have ladies ask me things. I figure if they ask, they must want a answer. Since I am disabled it usually starts out along the lines of 'does my disability affect my sex life'. It doesn't but then they ask more after that. If they ask, I answer. After a little while I may ask a question or two myself.

I did read one other post that mentioned it can be better than finding out later that one has a high sex drive and the other has a low sex drive. If watching similar shows on TV, liking similar foods and having compatible money views and other things can be talked about, then why not at least a little info on the romance? It just comes down to whether both people are somewhat comfy talking about it or not. If one is not, then one should say so.

My $0.02 worth for today.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Will gas prices at the pumps ever stop
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:07:54 PM
I'm disabled so I get to watch the lies, the news, a lot. Little slip on the keyboard there. Sorry. It comes down to a lot of things from what I see on the news. It's really complicated but this is what I have came up with and there may even be more.

1: Katrina. Yea, the hurricane. After that thing hit, gas prices shot up and people complained but it was not to loud. Oil companies saw a opportunity to make money. Ka ching !!! They are now making a killing. This is my personal opinion. Yea, this affects people in Europe too. If they can jack up prices here, why not over there? After all, they are mostly all global anyway.

2: India and China, among others. There are other "third world" economies starting to come alive and use a lot of oil products. That puts a hit on the demand and OPEC is not raising the supply part. More demand, less supply to meet the demand, Ka ching again.

3: Oil refineries. Someone mentioned that we have not built any new ones in 20 years. Not quite correct, close tho. It's almost 30 years, some say longer than that. We need more refineries but the oil companies would loose a perfectly good excuse to keep the prices up if they did that. After all, they would NEVER admit to #1 above.

4: I know this is going to make a few people mad but it is part, ever how small it may be, of the problem. SUV's. I see this all the time. One person in a Hummer or some such thing with nothing in it or attached to it but that one person. Usually someone trying to make up for something they don't have. You know, big yacht makes up for something little? Anyway, they drive these things all over the place like they are mopeds and suck up a HUGE amount of fuel for nothing but show. Hope one day you will be over what you don't have. Maybe then the rest of us can afford to drive a matchbox with wheels. I'm not totally against SUV's. They have their purpose. Put a big boat on the back or let it be a work truck to haul around tools and that is different. Even using it to carry around a family with a lot of kids can be acceptable. I got a 1985 3/4 ton Chevy that is a gas hog too. Don't ever drive it but I do have it.

My contribution to this problem you ask? I drive a 1994 Mazda Protege with a 1.8 liter DOHC engine. On average I get about 30 mpg with that old thing. While I do go see friends and all, I try not to drive unless I have to. I'm disabled so I can sit at home for a week or so without ever going anywhere. All is all, I do what I can but even if 50 million people could do the same thing I do, the oil companies would just come up with a new excuse.

All in all, we're screwed.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 167 (view)
 
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 3:53:44 PM
I haven't read all ten pages here but I live with my Mom . I'm disabled and have more income than she does plus she is 75 and diabetic and needs the extra help. I grow a garden here and do most everything outside and even help with the inside things. My Mom has not paid a bill of mine in ages although I do help her with groceries and whatever else she needs. Before the prescription plan got here, I helped her buy her meds.

I would also say this, if I met someone and move to where they are, I would have to come here and help my Mom a good bit. My Mom is important to me and I stand with her when she needs me. I just know that family is important to me. I would also help my partner with her family if needed. Team effort I guess.

My thoughts.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
passwords in the emails!!
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:32:50 PM
Well, if someone wants the password, all they have to do is click on the "forgot Password" link and it will email it to you anyway. If they have access to your email, they can still get your password.

I guess because I run Linux instead of windoze, I don't worry so much about my security. You have to have a password to even log on to my system. Security starts in the chair in my opinion.

My two cents worth for the day.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
What if the man left the physical stuff up to the woman to decide?
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:05:28 PM
Well, I do that. I do it for a couple reasons. I dated someone that had been raped and I didn't want to push her away or anything like that. That was what started me on that. I just got used to it being that way. I'm up front about it and that they lead with what they are comfy with. If I'm not comfy with something they try to do, then I will say so.

I also see it has a sign of respect for the lady I am seeing. I would hope the person I am seeing would agree. If not, then maybe we are not right for each other.

My thoughts for what they are worth.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Does breaking up after the first try ever work?
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:18:24 PM
Well, once is it for me. When I left my ex, it was basically over and done with. I went back for a visit to offer to get her some help but she didn't want to hear it and made that well known up front. Even if she had took the help I was going to offer, it would have been with me not being there. She would have to prove herself to me all over again for me to give her another chance.

I guess it is best said this way, if you have done all you can do to make it work and then break it off, it needs to stay that way. If you did all you can the first time, what else can you do?

That's my opinions anyway.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Plenty Of Fish Lost a Great Woman
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:45:46 AM
I lost my Dad to suicide. It's sort of something you never really understand as to why they do it. My Dad left two notes. One for friends and such and one for the family that was private. Still no good reason for it.

Basically, it's usually not a thing you can do unless they tell you they are planning to do it ahead of time and are willing to get help. Other than that, you find out when it is to late. You can't blame yourself and shouldn't second guess anything you may or may not have said or done. It's just one of those confusing things we never really understand.

I do hate to hear this tho. I don't know her but it seems the good people that we really need around are always the ones that leave us to soon.

Chin up.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 164 (view)
 
Linux distros who likes what?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:10:50 PM
I'm still sticking with Gentoo. As close to Linus from scratch as you can get. Also has the top notch support in forums, IRC and a mailing list. Hard to beat all that.

Before that I was a Mandrake user. It was fine until time to upgrade.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Katrina lawsuit filed for $3 Quadrillion
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:05:01 PM
The one responsible here is mother nature. Go sue her. Good luck.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/10/2008 6:52:04 PM
I put that I am disabled on mine. At least that way if they have a problem with it then they know before they reply. You would be amazed at how many small minded people there are out there. Ladies say they are not looking for money but sometimes you wonder how true that is. Learned that the hard way. They also say they want trust but they have to be honest themselves too.

At least I am not hiding anything on my profile. Lying by omission in my book.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Mom with children...is it hopeless???
Posted: 12/20/2007 9:30:39 PM
It may seem that it is the kids but it may be something else. I know a lady that has two fairly small kids that I would love to meet. The fact she has kids is not a problem for me at all. We have a lot in common. She seems to be a really nice lady but she thinks she should focus on her kids and not herself, which is her choice I guess. That said, I was saddened when she told me she decided not to date.

Have you ever thought that it may be that you just have not met the right person yet? Just because two people do not click, have that chemistry, or whatever you want to call it, does not mean there is something wrong. You just have to keep looking and be patient.

That's my $0.02 worth, and that ain't much.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 276 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 12/8/2007 3:57:15 PM
I know a lot of people use "short hand" when chatting but it should be left to people that are well known to each other and to cell phones or something like that. I even type the whole word when I am on Yahoo IM. Now if I get to know someone really well then the "short hand' may be OK but I still prefer the whole thing.

There is to much room for error when typing something in already. There is no need adding one more problem to the mix. If anyone looks at my profile, which is pretty dang long anyway, I typed all that in and spell checked it to boot. Since I use Linux instead of winders, it spell checks automatically anyway. It underlines in red what it doesn't have in the dictionary. I'm sure all computers have a spell checker. I know a friend of mine has a little paper clip thing, it looks sort of stupid to me but . . .

All that said, I will respond if I can figure out what they are saying but if I can't figure it out, I don't see a way to build a relationship/friendship when I can't understand what they are saying. So why bother.

This post has been read three times, spell checked as I typed, and it looks OK for a forum post. Nobody is perfect.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/5/2007 9:47:58 PM
I was married and got divorced. Me and my ex are not even friends, her choice. I guess when the failure is your fault and everyone knows it, why put fuel on the fire for herself. Thing is, we were married. It was a short marriage. It was a marriage that was based on lies and really had nothing truthful in it to begin with.

All that said, we was married therefore I am divorced and that's what is in my profile.

This does explain why I see some profiles that have single and they are older than me though. I was always curious about that.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Heartbroken.........
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:21:09 AM

Msg 11, if that is what your shrink says, then your shrink is a quack. There is nothing as bad as losing your spouse to death.


Funny, I have heard the same thing before. They are not wishing someone dead but if they are gone, you have no choice but to move on.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Should I propose?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:55:50 AM
As someone who is divorced and shouldn't have married her to begin with, if your gut tells you not to do it, THEN DON'T. If I had followed my gut instinct I wouldn't have a ex right now. When the time comes and you are both ready, it will be a lot easier. You won't have these questions like you have now.

My $0.02 worth.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 289 (view)
 
The one thing you miss most when you are single
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:26:03 AM
I guess I miss the companionship the most. Just being there for someone and doing things with/for each other. Of course, it is nice when the other person is doing the same. I'm working on it though. May have a success story sometime soon.

It's funny though, when I find that worthy person, I'm going to really enjoy being with someone. Just got to make sure my past doesn't repeat itself.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
The correct etiquette when posting a 'favorite' on POF?
Posted: 10/16/2007 12:08:48 AM
I have a couple reasons for adding someone to favorites. First may be that I just like the profile from a humor point of view. There is one lady on here that I just like to read her profile. I just get a kick out of it I guess.

Second reason, I may want to contact the person in the future but I am currently talking to someone. I do my best to only talk to one at a time. I'm just real touchy on the cheating thing.

I can't say that it is because I am shy or anything though. If I have something to say, I just speak right up. Now if I have someone in my favorites and they want to ask my why, I have no problems telling them why.

That's my deal. You mileage may vary.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
broken heart need her back
Posted: 10/14/2007 12:50:18 AM
Well, this is the best I can say. If she isn't happy with you, it won't work. I was in a relationship that I wanted to work. If the other person is not willing to do their part, it will fail or both will end up miserable.

At your age, don't sweat it so much. Keep talking to her, if you have changed she will see it eventually and make her own choices. Just because you have changed does not mean she agrees that you have. If something hurt her bad enough, she may never get over it.

Also keep in mind, we have a limited amount of info here. Since people reading what you posted were not there, it's hard to say what you should do.

Hope you get it worked out.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Truthful Profiles
Posted: 10/14/2007 12:29:30 AM
I have not had that problem. Sure, some things may get left out but I'm not saying they are dishonest. The thing I don't like about a lot of ladies profile is they are to short. A lady will usually have that they like to have fun and laugh. OK, that beats saying you want to be bored to tears and just sit around and cry all day. Can the ladies please put more in their profile than that?

That said, my profile is pretty long and I describe myself pretty well and who I am looking for. So far, all the people I have met said I was what they expected or better. If someone disagrees with something, I go back and change it or make a decision that it was just a incorrect perception on their part. I do try to keep it real in mine, even pointed out my bad parts.

I think the biggest thing I hate here though, that 75 mile limit thing. For the right lady I am willing to drive a long ways. I'm also willing to move if needed. So, I hate that limit thing. I wish that was not on a profile. What if a perfect match live another 10 miles up the road?

Why do people want to lie in their profile anyway? Do they think that changes who they are or something? We are what we are, no need lying about it. As I have said to my ex a lot of times, truth always comes out in the end. It always does.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
im gonna give up soon..
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:20:13 PM
OK Bud, listen up. My Dad committed suicide, care to think about who had to clean up the mess he left behind? We did. My Mom was a wreck. She tried to blame herself for what he chose to do. Then us kids had to pick up those pieces too. My Dad has been gone almost 20 years now and I think about it everyday. I sleep about 100 feet from where he did it. Trust me, you may get yourself out of a crappy situation but you are not going to help anyone else. They will have to fix what you leave behind plus some. Not to mention you then have 0 options. Also add in, if you fail for some reason, you will have a lot to deal with then.

Get help, get back on track, live you life. As for you lady friend, find a better one next time. You have just learned what you don't want so don't accept someone like that again.

Best wishes.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Should you put if you have a disability on your profile or wait?
Posted: 10/5/2007 12:22:29 AM
I am disabled and I put it in mine. I'm very upfront about it. I also like to talk about it pretty soon in case someone does have a problem with it. One funny thing is, I get my share of messages and the people that I do meet like me fine, it's me that needs to find the right one.

In a strange sort of way, I think it helps me. I may not get a reply from someone I would like to talk to but if they don't want to see me because of what I have, then they are not what I am looking for anyway. Also, this didn't show up until I was in my 20's or so. So, if I had met someone that wouldn't give me a reply today, would they have stuck with me now if I met them before this popped up? So, if you don't tell them, they may not see you again anyway.

There is a lot of ways to look at it. You may get fewer messages but at least the ones that don't send you a message won't leave you when they find out. After all, they will eventually find out. If they do send you a message, then maybe they are willing to give a relationship a try.

I am talking to one lady that was badly burned. She sent me pictures and I can just barely tell she was burned. It doesn't bother me because hey, that can happen to anybody. I'm just glad she is alive. I talked to someone that has back trouble. Who at some point doesn't have trouble with their back anyway? I'm not real sure why some people are so quick to judge anyway. I have met a lot of people in this search, I don't regret a one of them no matter why it didn't work.

Basically, just do what you feel like you need to do. Just keep in mind that they are going to find out eventually. Either they accept you or they don't.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Southeast MS Gathering/Party
Posted: 9/26/2007 1:38:38 AM

I don't think there is anything wrong with going to POF party with date. Wors can happen you can make some friends. Specially if she is fish from the pond too.


That may be true but I am real sensitive to that cheating thing. If I am seeing someone, even early on, I'm not looking. Heck, I don't even like to talk to more than one at a time on here. Yea, I'm a bit different, in a good way I am told.

Maybe things will work out so I can come though. Then again, maybe not.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Southeast MS Gathering/Party
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:42:58 PM
I live a good ways off but I may can attend. Of course, it depends on if I am seeing someone already or not.

If all else fails, send me a message directly. I try to watch the forums but I sometimes forget.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is it a bad sign if a person comes on to strong before they even met you?
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:37:56 PM
Well, I'm like this, until I meet a person, I'm not going to get to attached to anyone. It's all just text until I SEE the person and know they are for real. I may have a lot in common and even like things about a person but it's what happens in person that matters. Sometimes, I prefer to meet early on. Just meet up, talk a bit, then chat some more and plan what comes next. That way, we both know the other is for real and we have a great idea of who we are talking to. Not just text, not just a picture either.

Of course, I'm also weird that I only talk to one person at a time, unless it is just going to be friends and nothing else. Sorry, it just seems like playing games to me. I'm not picking a car or a nice pair of paints, I'm looking for a partner.

I agree though, it takes time to build a relationship. I said this once, relationships are like a fine wine, they take time and don't stir it up to much.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Just wanted some others to give me their thoughts
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:08:52 PM
Well, I ended up putting it this way.


Everybody seems to say I shouldn't put this here but I am. It seems that when I tell someone they disappear anyway so this may save both of us some time. I am disabled. I inherited a skin disorder called psoriasis from my Dad. Hey, I didn't ask for it either. I do pretty well and do most anything I want to. I also do fine money wise. So, if this is a problem, now you know.


Anybody have a better way of saying it?

Thanks

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Just wanted some others to give me their thoughts
Posted: 9/14/2007 4:09:37 PM
Hi again.

I thought of adding this. What do you think?


To clarify my "Profession" up there. I am disabled. I have a genetic skin disorder called psoriasis that I got from my Dad. It's not something you can catch and I don't see it killing me anytime soon. I have a better chance of being hit by lightening. I do pretty well for myself, help my diabetic Mom a lot and help my brothers and friends too. So don't think I'm looking for a caretaker.


Open to ideas still.

Thanks

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Just wanted some others to give me their thoughts
Posted: 9/14/2007 12:55:56 PM
I am disabled though, for real. Some people seem to think that I am in a wheelchair, stuck in bed or something so I added that part. I have a rare, well, not so rare now, skin disorder. Personally I would rather work but the Doctors say not 'no' but 'hell no'. I have yet to see a Doctor that understands how I worked as long as I did. I did work four years longer than they wanted. I do have a little bit of stubbornness in me. Then again, I still do some things the Doctors may not like too.

Are there any other suggestions? I do try to keep it honest. People that I have met said I was very much the person they expected. I even wear the same clothes in the pic.

Open to ideas. I was beginning to think a cat had took some tongues or something.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Just wanted some others to give me their thoughts
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:47:56 AM
Hi,

I have been here a few months and I have talked to a few ladies but I just wanted someone, ladies especially, to tell me what they think about my profile.

Thanks.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
what do i do
Posted: 9/6/2007 2:13:55 AM

ur in a spot so many r in when drugs come into play. the person fails to resemble the person u once knew. sadly....tragically...that person u once knew will never reappear again. she made her choice. and her choice was the lifestyle shes livin now. u can make a choice as well....u can follow her down her path...or u can jump ship and get out b4 she drags u down with her. ur not goin to save her.


I agree with that a lot. My ex was hooked on prescription pain pills and that is a huge reason for me leaving, lack of trust was the other. If you have offered to get her help and she refuses, you need to make a decision for yourself what you are going to do. Either stay and drop with her, force her to get help and pray for the best or leave and let her hit bottom on her own. I also have a alcoholic brother who has drank since before I was even born. I hate that he does it but me, my Mom, my oldest brother has all tried to get him to stop. My Dad did when he was alive. Right now, my brother has liver problems and we don't know how long he will live. He lost his best friend in the whole world, his wife, and he never even blinked. Even after being told that the drinking is killing him by the Doctors, he still drinks, a lot. I say that because some people can not be helped. Keep this in mind for farther down.

Once people get on drugs, legal or illegal, it is very hard for them to get back to their old self. It changes their brain and the urge will ALWAYS be there. If she agrees to get help, you will have to watch her like a hawk, possibly for years. You will have to track every move she makes until you know she is not going to relapse. You'll also have to watch the money. You will be watching her for a long time depending on how well she does and what after affects the drugs has on her as far as a relapse.

If you plan to leave, then you need to tell her why you are leaving. Let her know how you feel so she might get the idea. If you plan to get her help, go through the courts if necessary. I did a lot of research when getting my divorce and believe me, there is a lot of people that are forced to get help through the courts. It makes it a lot better on you because a third party oversees what happens and insures that what is done is for their best interests as far as getting them help.

If you plan to stay and her not get help. Good luck. I have no clue what to advise you on that one.

It's a tough decision but it's yours to make. I understand that you care for her so maybe you can talk to her about the options I posted here. See if she likes one of those. You may find out she likes the one where you leave. That way she can keep doing what she is doing now. As my ex said when I went to talk to her, ' I like my life the way it is and I'm not changing nothing for anybody'. That's a southern way of saying keep me and my problems or get out. I'm divorced. That would be my suggestion. Talk first, but if she doesn't want help, leave. Some people can't be helped.

You ever watch that show Intervention on A&E? Maybe you should if you have not. I think it is intervention tv dot com if you want to check their website. Remove the spaces and put a . where the dot is.

I wish you the best. Feel free to email me if you want to talk more.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
An strange intervention so picture this !
Posted: 9/5/2007 10:30:12 PM
I wish I knew more about my ex than I did. Me and her first ex sat in the ER once and if he had just told me anything to clue me in on what was going on, I wouldn't be divorced right now. I would at least tell her she needs to find out more about his past and give her a name of someone that maybe he has seen in the past. Let her get it from someone who no longer has a horse in the race. Of course, I would tell her enough to put it in the back of her head as someone else said anyway. Maybe she will see things from a different perspective at least.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
How many bad dates before you give up dating for awhile?
Posted: 9/4/2007 3:55:11 AM
Well, if you give up, you may never find him. I have had a few relationships that didn't turn out to be what I wanted but I'm no giving up or even close to it.

I have had to give up before though. I'm disabled and quiting work was not easy. I went from a workaholic to being miserable and not working. If things get better, I'll be back at work.

I looked at your profile. You seem like a nice lady looking for the right things. Don't give up. Keep your chin up and keep looking. You'll find him even if it takes a while.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Do you know who you're looking for?
Posted: 9/3/2007 8:22:46 PM
Well, I learned a lot from my ex about what I do and what I don't want. I also learned a lot about myself. I understand now how important trust is. Being lied to on a daily basis is not good if someone wants me to be around.

My profile may not be the best but I think it says enough about me to let someone know if they are interested at least. I have found that to much information is not good either. After all, it's when you meet each other that counts. If that works out then things are going good.

I read some of the other posts and agree with some of them. You don't have to be specific but do tell a little about yourself and who you are looking for. I have in mine that I want someone that is honest and I'm not kidding. Put in things that you are not looking for as well. After all, if you put up nothing but a pic, you could be driving all over the place meeting people you have little if anything in common with.

Getting help here in the forums as suggested may help too. May do that myself.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Should you lead someone on when you know you don't want to see the person again?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:28:14 AM
Some of us are honest. We all should be but some are not. I may get my feelings hurt sometimes but as I have told my ex and a few others, the truth always comes out in the end. I would rather hear the truth to begin with than to find it out later, then find out I was lied to as well.

I'm sort of like this, if I am talking to someone and they need some time because of a family issue, health concern, then just say so. I don't mind waiting, just don't disappear for a couple weeks with no communication at all. I'm talking to someone now that has a health concern and also had two funerals to go to. I didn't hear from her for a couple days and I admit, I was worried that something was wrong. If nothing else she had fell and hurt herself or something. She did get the funerals taken care of and we are planning to meet soon.

If the guy doesn't contact you, move on. If he comes back later and has a good reason for not writing, then maybe you can go from there. Most likely, depending on how long it has been, he's not going to write so just move on.

It would be so simple if people would just say how they feel though. If the person is not what you are looking for, just say so.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What would you say, if someone said they were coming to take you out, but didnt show up?
Posted: 8/27/2007 5:32:39 PM
Maybe I am to forgiving but I would at least see if the other person had a good reason for not showing up or getting in touch. It could be a illness, accident or something like that. I know if something happened in my family, I may not even think about what time it was much less anything else. I actually had something similar to happen to me once. What happened was her cousin's baby got into some meds and had to be taken to a hospital about 2 hours away. In her rush to leave she left her cell phone and that was where my number was. She could have used her cousins cell but she didn't have the phone number. The kid recovered very well too. Tummy pumped and some meds to counteract the meds he took.

I agree that people should be honest. I have met several people and I was honest about my feelings. If it is not going to work out and two people are not a fit, why lie about it or play someone along like that? It's not fair to either person.

To the OP, tell your friend to hang in there and just keep looking. He's out there.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Trapped Utah Miners
Posted: 8/11/2007 3:52:48 PM
Well, it seems to me that these things are happening more often or something. I know there are a lot of limitations, like a transmitter setting off explosives to early, but it does appear that someone would come up with a better way to rescue people after a collapse of this sort. That said, it is dangerous when things are going well and not falling apart and I can only imagine how careful they have to be after things go terribly wrong. The only thing worse than loosing six people is loosing those six and 50 or so more that are trying to get them out. I guess going slow is the only way right now.

I guess the same can be said about the bridge that fell in a few weeks ago. 7 feet of water and they are still looking. Looking at it without much thought you would think it could be done without any diving equipment. But then when you hear about all the steel rebar that is sticking out everywhere, then you understand why it takes so much time and how dangerous it is to get the people recovered and even to clean up the bridge itself.

I do hope they can at least find them soon. If they are alive then maybe they can send some water and food down the hole they just drilled and they can survive until they can get them out. I do know from talking to various people and what I have seen on History channel and such that mining is a very dangerous job. I doubt that will change anytime soon.

Come home safe guys.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
what do you think?
Posted: 6/21/2007 11:20:31 AM
OK. Words of wisdom here. I met my ex twice and she wanted me to move in. I did at least met her a couple times. You notice that I said EX. Fast relationships rarely work. Yours may not either.

Now, add in you have kids. You should not do this period. I'm not going to say you should run away but do not let him even met your kids, know exactly where you live or work even. There are some bad people out there, men and women, and you have to watch yourself and especially your kids. Your kids are the most important things to protect. Even though I am meeting people now, I have only met one lady's daughter. That is only because we were all together and we had talked on the phone and meet a few times. We talk on the phone a lot.

You need to have a serious talk with this guy. You need to explain that the safety of your kids comes first. If he doesn't get that, move on. I did not know I was going to get to see the daughter I did when I did. You should met him several times and really get to know this guy in a huge way before he mets any kids. If you have a gut feeling that is bad, move on. Follow that gut feeling. If something doesn't feel right then there is likely a problem.

I don't know about most guys but if a lady asked me to go to a police dept and let them run a check on me and let her know if I had a record or anything, I would go do just that. Protect yourself and your kids. If you are unsure what to do, ask someone here.

Just watch yourself and protect those kids.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 139 (view)
 
Linux/BSD
Posted: 6/4/2007 1:53:38 AM
Well, I'm a Gentoo Linux user myself. There is no windoze here either. I have been using it for quite a while, about 3 or 4 years I guess. I love it myself. It has come such a long ways since I started using it. Sometimes the people have a hick up or two but I think they got that fixed so now maybe they can concentrate on doing some good things more often.

My rig, AMD 2500+ with 1GB of ram. Abit NF7 V 2.0 mobo. Two 80GB hard drives. LG CD/RW. All in a pretty good size server type case. I have a 19" monitor too.

I use KDE for my desktop. The only thing I want to change is my internet connection. I hope they will have DSL out here soon because this dial-up sucks.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 390 (view)
 
Do Men REALLY Like to Cuddle?
Posted: 6/4/2007 1:37:27 AM
I love to cuddle myself. It's a really good time to just talk or just say nothing at all. One of the things I like to do is this, when we stand in line at a store and have a bit of a wait for our turn, just hug each other. Beats standing there and griping about the wait.

My problem is, I'm not sure I can get enough. It took my ex a while to get used to the attention. Unlike some guys, I like to plan to do things together and cuddling is a good one to do.

Take care,

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Would you get a divorce if ...
Posted: 6/3/2007 8:56:58 PM
As someone who just got used about the same way, I say it is a sign of the times. My ex got me to take out a loan to catch up her payments on her house and car. She promised to pay it with the income tax refund but she didn't. She lied to me and that was one straw gone. Then she lied about a few other things. More straws gone. My marriage was short but after her applying for several credit cards without saying anything to me about it, I left. I could not trust her again, not with money or anything else. She would lie about anything as long as it was to her benefit.

My advice, if she isn't changing and you can't talk to her about it, it's time to go. As Dr Phil says, the only thing worse than being in a 20 year bad marriage is being in a bad marriage 20 years and a day.

Yes, I did go back and try to see if she would change. She made her point well know when she said she ain't changing nothing.

My $0.02 worth.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
If you're not interested...
Posted: 5/31/2007 2:21:49 PM
I think I made my intentions clear in my profile. I WANT TO BE FRIENDS FIRST. I have met a few ladies and so far, I have yet to even give one a kiss on the cheek but I did hug one. I went to fast with my ex and I do NOT want a repeat of that mess. I meet someone, we are just friends, NOTHING else.

I do want honesty. I'm about to be 40 years old and I am to old for lies. That was one of the problems with my ex. If someone doesn't like me and we have met and you are reading this, just say you don't think we will work out and that you want to be friends or whatever. No hard feelings here. Lie to me though, I won't be sending you a Christmas card for sure.

To the OP, I agree. People, men or women, need to be honest about how they feel. If they are unsure and want to met again that is fine but if you don't like them, just say so. If you do like someone, then we all know what to do then.

My $0.02 worth.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
what are your thought on the compatability ratings?
Posted: 5/22/2007 8:01:16 PM
Well, I checked mine and the highest score is someone I already know. She is not looking for anything but friends and we are already that. I do think she is nice though. She is a great friend.

Moving on to the next one. I'm not sure about that test though. She likes salt water fish tanks and I like fresh water tanks. Rest is OK though.

Seriously, they are something to go by but I don't always agree either. Good ice breaker maybe??

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
My New Girlfriends Nuts!
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:11:26 PM
I would have a question for her. Did she have someone to cheat on her in the past? If so, that may be why she is like this. She needs to deal with that because that is her issue, NOT yours.

If she hasn't had something like that to happen, then she needs to find out why she is like that. Again, still not your problem.

My deal would be this, she needs to get help finding out what is causing her to be like this. This won't get better. If you can't get her help, or are not interested in getting her help, you need to decide what you are going to do. If you don't want to give up all yours friends and have just her, you need to move on.

If you want to get her some help, she needs to understand that this is her problem and that she needs to get help with this whether she stays with you or not. This is like a forest fire, it doesn't get better by watching it get bigger.

Maybe this is just me, I would try to talk to her and get her some help. You never know, she may be worth it. Take this problem out of the picture and think about what you would have. Then see if it is worth fixing or not.

My $0.02 worth.

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Reports of unethical or fraudulent experiences w/ True.com?
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:02:08 AM
quills,

You better watch it. If you get a email and click on anything, it will try to sign you back up again. I noticed it several times and called them about it.

The last time though, I did nothing at all. They just billed me for a month. They told me they would not refund anything, period. My bank got my money back.

If I were you, I would have my card numbers changed and the card you currently have canceled to be sure. That was what the bank did for me.

Dale

 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Friends with Exes. Possible or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 1:44:47 AM
Well, I wanted to leave it as friends with my ex but after she threatened to file papers and have me locked up, for things that wasn't true I might add, it sort of made it hard. After all the threats and such from her, she stopped calling after I called her on her bluff.

After filing for a divorce and letting her have everything she had and me keeping everything I had including the bills for what she keeps, we're going back to court. She decided she wanted a no fault divorce but not to pay the bills for her stuff. I been paying mine thank you very much.

So, if you can leave it as friends that would be great. May not be to likely though. Maybe I stayed to long. We were married one day short of three months. We said the I do's and she did a 180 on me.

Would be nice in theory though.

 
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