Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!


Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 Author Thread: is my gf still in love with her ex?
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
is my gf still in love with her ex?
Posted: 4/6/2013 12:37:09 AM
Does she love her ex still?


Do you already know this?


Do you need to TALK to her?

Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 43 (view)
Profession as a Therapist an Issue?
Posted: 4/1/2013 6:10:21 PM
I'm almost done with all of my schooling so I will be on my way to becoming a sex and relationship counselor and I have never had a problem telling anyone this.
Especially not prospective dates! They love it haha.
The only negative so far is that they keep wanting to ask me questions.

I think maybe they will be worried that you might always be in their head constantly and trying to 'fix' them.
But if you're a good therapist, I'm sure you have the ability to turn this on and off.
Maybe try to tell them that?

Good luck :)
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
Making the choice to move on
Posted: 3/30/2013 2:15:37 AM
Sexuality isn't a choice. I'm sure you can be influenced, but it's all about how you feel inside. And you can't choose how you feel.
Can't choose who you fall for either. Unfortunately lol.

I would never be with someone that thought of me as their 'second choice' or backup. That sounds SO miserable.
Who would ever do that?
Well, I guess I did once, a long time ago. But that's a long story.

I DO think the only way to get over someone is to get under someone else though ;)
Hey, it works!
Usually lol
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 69 (view)
Guys that shaved their arms and back...what do you think?
Posted: 3/29/2013 11:42:03 PM
Why do you people assume shaving makes you 'the feminine one'.
How dumb!

If you look like a gorilla, you need to shave. Or at least trim.
If you have clean looking body hair and it isn't too much or too...gross, then that's fine.

But like Charlotte York said, "you shouldn't be able to grab someone's back!"
Ew haha.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
Woman's advice. What kind of sexy pictures do I send?
Posted: 3/29/2013 11:36:32 PM

Content aside, you are likely to get into big trouble for sending this kind of stuff while at work, especially if you are using work email to do it. Many workplaces monitor emails and pick up on things like this. I certainly wouldn't risk it, even if I was into sending pictures like this (which I'm not, incidentally).

Hun, I don't think anyone's sending these kinds of pics through email anymore.
We're texting now :)
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:09:48 PM
Message more.
Messaging a 'few' is going to get you nowhere.
We get over 50 new messages a day, so sometimes others just stand out more than yours will.

Be patient.
I know that's what everyone says, but it's true.
Some guys say it's a numbers game. Now, I hate the fact that dating is a 'game' and I disagree with that, but I definitely agree that trying to get responses is sort of a game.
Just keep shooting messages to lots of girls. Be funny, interesting, lighthearted and you should be okay
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
Ladies would you date a virgin man
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:07:22 PM
This isn't to be offensive to you, but you asked...
No I would never date a virgin.
The only time I have was when I was a virgin, in high school.

I really like experience. I can't fathom being in bed with someone who had never been with a woman before.
I would definitely feel like I had to do ALL the work.
Don't get me wrong, I love to do a lot of the 'work' but I can't be telling you what to do the whole time.
That'd get really old, really quickly lol.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
Do women prefer the Chat conversation or email
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:04:50 PM
I never use the chat function. I don't like it.

I find it especially weird when people request me for chat over and over and over and OVER when they've never even sent me a message.

But I'm sure someone out there uses it?
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
Friends to Dating to Relationship to Lovers
Posted: 3/29/2013 1:50:52 PM
I like starting off as friends with someone.
But usually I progress pretty fast. Not immediate bf/gf status, I just mean I progress fast sexually.
I've had a couple long-term relationships start off with sleeping with them on the first date.
Sometimes you just get caught up in the mood.
Sometimes it works out, other times it doesn't.

I think a lot of people rush into relationships waaaay to quickly though.
And a lot of time those are the kind of relationships that deteriorate the fastest.

I don't think you're 'out of style', I think you should just be clear about your intentions and how you like to date.
Maybe you'll adapt, maybe you'll find someone who agrees with your style.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
Woman's advice. What kind of sexy pictures do I send?
Posted: 3/29/2013 1:46:24 PM
^^^^^totally agree with everything you said, haha
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
How sexual is a tease?
Posted: 3/29/2013 1:45:37 PM
Well if the majority of your conversations are sexual and then you act like a prude when you meet them, that is sending very mixed signals.

Isn't this obvious?
I mean, if you just talk about sex in the general sense that's I guess fine.
But if you're specifically talking about having sex with the people you are messaging and then don't....then I can totally see why someone would be confused.
Very mixed signals here.

I say make your intentions clear from the get-go and maybe try to not say one thing and then do the complete opposite?
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
Woman's advice. What kind of sexy pictures do I send?
Posted: 3/29/2013 1:42:57 PM
Yeah d*ck pictures are really stupid. Why do men insist on sending them? No idea. Not very attractive.
If you have a good body and sexy abs or something, send those. Basically anything but your d*ck is fine with me.

It's just awkward getting one of those photos usually.
Like a big ol' schlong on my phone? I'm good, lol.

And why are you asking us????
Go with what the girl your talking to wants.
She seems to already have told you what she wanted you to send her, so what's the problem?
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
why do men block you ?
Posted: 3/28/2013 9:51:02 PM
I'm gonna assume their girlfriend/wife saw you send a pic to their man and blocked you themselves.

Or the unfortunate alternative which is they didn't like how you looked :/

Why would they need to even ask for a pic?
I don't get people that don't have photos up. It makes no sense at all.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
Guy from the past
Posted: 3/28/2013 1:30:03 PM
Ok. It's been 2 days.
Relax hun :)

Give the man a chance. People have lives other than the internet, you know lol.

Don't message him another one. He will reply to you when he sees it.
Or he wont, either way don't put all your eggs in this one basket.
Keep being open to talk to other guys in case this doesn't work out.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
Posted: 3/28/2013 11:57:19 AM
This site works. Pretty well, personally, and for many people I know.

You really just need to be a little more patient and not get frustrated with a lack of responses.
As you can see in the hundreds of thousands of posts about it, you are NOT alone lol.

Relax. Keep sending messages to new people.
You WILL get a bite.
It's just a matter of time and some persistence.

But don't be too clingy or desperate. Be lighthearted and charming and you're probably good to go.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 72 (view)
What position you get the Most pleasure???
Posted: 3/28/2013 11:54:21 AM

She'll get far more out of you than that $100 for 4 hours before this is over, I suspect. And the more emotionally attached you become the less hard she shall have to work to get it.

100$ for 4 hours???
What are we talking about, some street prostitute?

That is a really low price for a body.
Sheesh lol.
Might as well not even pay anything
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
Girl at work who also commutes on the same train
Posted: 3/28/2013 11:25:59 AM
So see if she's friendly and chatty with you.

Talk to her. You already have a common interest - your commute.
Easy to start a conversation that way.
Flirt, be easygoing and approachable.
But you need to make the first move or else you'll always wonder 'what if'.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
The best way to gently say no?
Posted: 3/28/2013 11:24:52 AM
"I'm just not interested in a relationship with you right now"

Was that so hard? Lol
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
Woman who sucks at sex!!!!
Posted: 3/28/2013 11:20:43 AM
Ugh I knew a guy who was so put off because every woman he dated just lied there in bed and let him do all the work.
He just assumed most women didn't ever put any effort into it.

Do people really do that???
How awful.

Also, sometimes women (as well as men of course) can just be really selfish regarding sex.
Like, 'if I don't get off, you don't get to either'.

What a horrible mindset.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
Posted: 3/28/2013 11:06:13 AM

brinaalina: you can always search for one, then the other. You can't search by sexual orientation though. That could be an improvement.

Yeah, I would just think it would be great if I could list "seeing a male or female" instead of switching back and forth.
Then I'd be content :) Lol
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
no replies >.<
Posted: 3/28/2013 1:03:57 AM
Have you not seen the zillions of posts dedicated to this question???

NO it's not just you.
You've been here for a week and you're whining already?
Sheesh lol.

Relax. There's SO many more men than women on here. It's gonna take a while to get a bite.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
let her know or wait?
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:35:14 PM
This isn't brain surgery, my friend.

You flat out tell her.
But don't be a weirdo about it lol.
Be charming and light about it.

The worst thing that can happen is she doesn't return your feelings. Not so bad.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
She messaged back! Oh shit, now what?
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:33:50 PM
Wow stop thinking so hard about this lol.

Ask her a question or talk about something she mentioned on her profile.
It's not that hard :)
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
Do women prefer short hair or long hair on a guy ?
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:32:57 PM
It really depends on what the man looks like.

I like hair long enough for me to grab onto it.
No shaved heads, por favor. A lot of men look good with shaved heads, it's just not my cup of tea.

My one rule is don't have long hair if you aren't going to take care of it.
I HATE seeing long stringy, greasy hair.
If you're gonna grow it out, you need to keep. it. clean. kind of always need to keep it clean no matter the length, really.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
Ladies - Ever had a guy say Before I take you home I have to go by my place and pick something up?
Posted: 3/27/2013 3:56:32 PM
Yeah never heard that before.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
The genuine guy
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:03:05 PM
I don't think I've ever said that before.

But what I would ASSUME it means is a guy who is honest with himself and with others.
Who doesn't pretend to be something he's not.

That's what I'm getting from it.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
Rate my profile.
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:54:12 PM
I am starting to honestly think the people that keep freaking posting these topics here just don't know how to read.

You can borrow my grandma's Rosetta Stone if you guys want!
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:21:52 PM
I don't think so.
I'm bi and I try to make that fairly clear when answering most posts.

If you have a question, just be really specific about who you are and what you're asking.

Too bad there isn't a bi/gay/lesbian/etc. forum.
It also is kind of unfortunate that I don't have the option to 'look for males AND females'.

Oh well, one day :)
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
Non-religious = red flag?
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:37:35 PM
Not a red flag at all.
As long as you don't push your beliefs (or perhaps lack of beliefs in some cases) on anyone, then there is nothing wrong with not being religious.

You should have no problem at all unless you're starting heated religious debates on the first date lol.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
Can someone, preferably a woman, please tell me where i'm going wrong?
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:17:57 PM
This. Is. What. The. Profile. Review. Forum. Is. For.


Two weeks and you're complaining already? lol come on, be patient.
Keep messaging new people, but relax. Eventually you'll get a bite.

And change your main photo. Look pleasant and happy and approachable in it.
You don't in your current one.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 62 (view)
The fish smell down there?
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:56:15 PM

It is a misconception that the slight fishy odor comes from bad hygiene. Each woman has her own unique scent and poor hygiene can make that scent stronger, even bad smelling, but the fish type odor comes from having a mans semen added into the mix. A woman does not smell fishy, its having a man cum inside her that makes her smell fishy.

Idk who wrote this, but semen does NOT make your vagina smell like fish.

Whoever wrote that is an idiot. Seriously. Lol.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
Insensitive or just trying to help?
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:54:49 PM

Im very certain that he would not like it if I told him he needed to work on his abs BUT im trying to not look at his "flaws"

Why not? He's pointing out your 'flaws'.

This guy is a loser. Move on, sweetie.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
The fish smell down there?
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:00:50 PM

Question for the women:
If a woman takes two or three showers a day and washes her pvssy, but it still stinks bad. Not just the normal pleasant pvssy "musk" smell.
What could be the problem?

Sometimes if a woman is a vegetarian or vegan, her vagina is going to smell....different than someone who eats meat (har har, no pun intended).

Tell her to spray a little perfume or body spray on her vag before sexy time.
Seriously though, diet plays a HUGE part.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
How to handle these requests...
Posted: 3/26/2013 3:58:48 PM
You DON'T respond.
Unless you are into that.

Why would you waste your time responding to some freak who you don't even know talking dirty to you?
Not worth your time.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
Guys that shaved their arms and back...what do you think?
Posted: 3/26/2013 12:23:27 PM
Shave their back? I SO approve of this.
If you look like a yeti on your back, PLEASE get rid of it!
You shouldn't be able to grab someone's back lol.

Eh....I dunno about that.
I had a boyfriend that shaved his armpits though. I didn't mind at all. I hate hairy bodies.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
The 'talks'
Posted: 3/26/2013 12:16:59 PM
Well you make sure you are exclusive first....just ask.
Then monogamy is a given if you are saying you're 'exclusive'.

There. No need for a 'talk'. We are not 5 lol. I think we know how dating works. Hopefully...

Here's a talk:
"Don't sleep with anyone besides me"
"Okay, you either"

Phew! That was hard!
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
Talking with two guys
Posted: 3/26/2013 12:13:02 PM
Nothing wrong with it.
You just started dating these guys. If you are just 'dating' then you can go out with as many people as you want!
They are probably dating other people to.

So when/if you develop feelings for one of them more than the other, you tell the other that you are seeing someone else.
It's not that hard lol.
Or if you don't want to be honest, just say you aren't 'ready' to date him yet, lol.

But seriously, do you really not know what to do? Just date em. See what happens
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
Sex so good it makes you cry ...
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:31:19 AM

And here's the other incorrect assumption you are making.
No one cries or said they cried everytime they had sex or with everyone they have/had sex with.
Now that would be disconcerting for anyone to witness.

And btw...You are frikkin' homo! lol

Well....maybe a 'lil in a past life. :)

Wishing you the biggest most intense orgasm in the midst of a
passionate/loving/intense relationship wherein you WEEP LIKE A BABY after sex!~

Oh, I wasn't assuming you meant 'every time', I was just generalizing.
And yeah, with my replies, I was coming from a place of sleeping with both women AND men.
Either crying would be odd, unless it was like my above example or something.

Maybe that's just because I like really intense sex. But not cry-intense. You know what I mean? Lol.

And yeah I will definitely let you know if I have a tear-worthy orgasm anytime in the near future! I swear! Haha
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
I'm celibate
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:27:01 AM

Just bring it up in conversation.
And definitely do it while you're still friends. That way you don't get into a relationship only to possibly have it end because he doesn't want someone celibate and you withheld the information from him.
That's not a good way to start.

If he's a good guy and is interested in dating you, he won't mind.
Or you may not even end up dating. Who knows. But be open and up front about everything.
It'll probably bite you in the ass if you don't.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
It seems every girl wants the 6 pack?
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:11:36 AM
You have to remember, you can be the 'total package' in theory, but if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to you then you are never going to get her.

It's just how it is. We like what we like.
And yeah, I like a good body, not necessarily a six pack, but I need a guy to have muscle tone and good abs and a good stomach usually for me to even find them attractive.
However, my ex was a little more on the chubby side, but was an awesome musician and was very charming and charismatic.

It's all about attraction. You can mold yourself to have a 'perfect' body but that may not be 'perfect' for one girl.
Maybe be totally perfect for another.

I would never say I'm looking for perfection. That's INSANE. I hate when people say that. You can't ever be perfect.
But I do expect a guy to take care of himself just like I take care of myself, you know?
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
Sex so good it makes you cry ...
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:59:38 AM

I'm curious as to why you would make a comment like this......
I realize you are young.......and probably haven't felt the depths of love/passion as us old fogies.....
to relate a moment such as this to being "unstable"......seems a bit disconnected to the most basic human emotions.

Oh, I've been in love once. I had it bad. Still do in some ways.

But I just hate when men cry. It makes me uncomfortable.
Unless it's at a funeral or something.

During sex is just....I don't know, I like when men are powerful and confident during sex so having a guy cry randomly is just really weird to me.
I cried my first time cause I was nervous, and I've had 2 different guys cry on me. It was when one of them decided to tell me they loved me.
I didn't mind that. It was kind of sweet.

But someone crying every time we have sex would really start to make me think that they are a little to...unstable. Or a little too emotional. I dunno.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 58 (view)
What position you get the Most pleasure???
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:55:57 AM

From the man's perspective, the view is pretty awesome

I would imagine haha.

Oh I forgot to say how much I LOVE sex standing up against a wall. Idk, brings my back to my 'sneaking one in with my high school boyfriend while his parents were still home and didn't have time to get totally undressed' times.

Haha yeah.
And a woman on top usually helps to deepen the penetration and help get a girl to orgasm even without stimulating the clitoris.

Idk why *some* women are so anti being on top.
They should try it sometime. It's fun!
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
have you ever been attracted to what appears to be a complete opposite?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:47:53 AM
Oh yeah. My ex boyfriend was not my 'type' at all.
Lighter hair.
Not as fit as I usually go for.
But he was a musician so that probably helped boost the attraction. A good musician.

But no it didn't work out.
We dated for almost a year I think then I broke up with him because I wasn't attracted to him at all anymore.
Not physically, not anything.

Also, he didn't have a steady job OR a car and I found myself always paying for everything.
Never. Again.

But I go for what's not my 'type' pretty often.
It's normal. Your tastes change sometimes.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:45:45 AM
No you never meet at ANYONE'S house unless you have seen them several times before.

Thats like the numero un rule of online dating! Always meet at public places until you're comfortable.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 53 (view)
What position you get the Most pleasure???
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:30:29 AM
The consensus between myself and my friends on which position feels the best is (and I HATE saying it's name cause it is a horrible, ugly name, which someone needs to change, asap) is definitely doggy style.

First off, you don't have to look at the person! Phew!

But seriously, to be blunt, you get deepest penetration and it feels damn good.
And the guy is at the perfect angle to pull my hair!

I mean the hypothetical woman's hair.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
What's the appropriate wait time until you suggest meeting?
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:28:20 AM
Lol....45 minute drive is so normal living in the Phoenix area.
I find it so odd when people say that is 'far'.

Toto, I'm not in Manhattan anymore.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
The fish smell down there?
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:22:37 AM
Yeah douching is a BAD idea, though.
Not to mention I find it pretty weird.

Seriously, just practice good hygiene.

I can't believe I even need to say that.
It should be a given!!!
If you smell gross down there, male or female...clean yourself.

That should really be the end to it.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
What's the appropriate wait time until you suggest meeting?
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:20:30 AM
Of COURSE you suggest a meeting!
If you have each other's numbers and have been speaking, then DUH.
Meet for drinks or coffee or something.
Something with no pressure to just get to know each other a little more.

And to find out if there is chemistry in person.
Because in person is much different than online and over the phone.

You'll do great. Don't stress.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
I know this won't make a difference but...
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:18:37 AM
How did she know about the car? Do you mention it in your profile?
If so, that's super odd on your part and you NEED to remove that lol.

Also, yes women WILL judge you if you mention those things on your profile.
However, you may want to think of it as a positive, because you really do not want to get involved with those kind of women anyway.

They are doing you a favor.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
Insensitive or just trying to help?
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:59:54 AM he does not want the best for you.
He wants to mold you into what HE wants.

Lose em.

And if you want to get your teeth fixed, that's on your terms, and is really none of his business pointing it out. Especially not in that way.

Next time, maybe try telling him that his penis is just too small for your tastes and you'd like to fix it for him.
"out of love"

Show ALL Forums