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 Author Thread: Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/12/2014 9:12:27 AM

I also think they want to seem 'important to others " in some cases.


Or in many cases, they need to feel important to themselves.
It's a form of validation for the techno-addicts.

There's a fine line between using a tool & being one.
BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Let Your Voice Be Heard November 20, 2013
Posted: 11/18/2013 1:09:29 PM

Biatch sessions are nice, so that people can "feel" that they are "doing something" about something. BUT, unless you actually can control the "other variable" here, all you will be doing is biatching.


One person's discussion is another person's b*tch session...?
I guesse it's about perception & attitude.

I didn't get the 'b*tch' vibe from the opening post.
Doesn't sound like that is what the intent is, but for those that don't believe there is no way it could be/turn into anything else, this is by choice.
Don't think it's worth your time - don't go.
Think it may have some potential - go.

Can't get much easier.

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Let Your Voice Be Heard November 20, 2013
Posted: 11/17/2013 2:55:53 PM
I'm sorry, but unless you're stealing images from the internet you do seem to have something to sell.


We all have something to sell - even if it's ourselves. And that is what the event could be - a chance to discuss the dating market/atmosphere/frustrations in Vancouver & what we can do to make it work for ourselves. Sometimes, the simple exchange of ideas is enough to prompt us to try a different approach & garner different results.

I have a business too & everyone I meet is/could be a potential cutomer, however, that is not what my social time is about. If I do make a business connection, then that's a plus. But the real target is making a romantic connection.

Guaranteed that will not happen if I sit at home with a praranoid attitude about everything going on in the big bad city. I trust that I am smart enough to figure out if I'm being sold a sales pitch. Including - the pitches of random dudes on the internet trying to slither their way into a 'quickie' - which is a large part of the 'screen daters' portfolio. At least with an event - it gets people away from the screen & into the real world

This convo is a prime example of my frustration with this city. People are so locked into their bubble of suspicion, that they can't accept that every connection has some potential on some level. Even if it's only to figure out what we don't want. That is life & I plan on living it as a doer - not a naysayer. It's what i try to use this place for & why I have attended a variety of pof events over the years. This one happens to be 'out of the box'.

I look forward to it...and of course - then we dance

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Let Your Voice Be Heard November 20, 2013
Posted: 11/10/2013 2:40:46 PM
Can't be any worse than some of the other pof events I've attended.
At least this one may prove to have some more interesting conversations...and after that - let's dance.

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Bringing a married friend to a wedding
Posted: 10/29/2013 4:30:32 AM
If both of your friends are OK with it I say - do it.

You all know each other, so it's like taking a platonic date to the wedding & most of us have done that and
had a better time than if we had taken a real 'date' to that kind of event.

Besides...married women make the best 'wingmen'...ever!

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 498 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 10/10/2013 6:04:18 AM

^^^Automatics are faster than sticks now. ;)


But it's not about speed - it's about having a variety of skills that I like my man to posses.
He doesn't need to be a master at them - but a basic working knowledge increases his value to me.

I do have a car, but have had it parked for weeks at a time because I live in an area where I can walk to most things I need. However, when I have business meetings, large shopping or plans out of the city - then it sure comes in handy - like I said - Plan B.

There's also a big difference between a man/woman not having a car & not able/allowed to drive



it's not about a car making a guy hunky... it's about Practicality

Yes - for my lifestyle, it's definitely about practicality.

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
The Future of Online Dating
Posted: 10/2/2013 8:47:18 AM
Wow - just hid my profile yesterday morning as I do ever once in a while to take a dating break & it
looks like I got in under the wire - but now I have to stay hidden.
Doesn't seem like such a bad option.
It will force me to take the initiative with any profiles that really interest me.

Having it out there for all to see hasn't worked, so maybe this tactic will have greater success potential.
Marcus has forced my hand. The only downside I see is that I am now committed to remain 'hidden'...meh, doesn't sound too bad.

If I really wanted to unhide & remain under the radar - I would just hide all of my photos.
Then no man would bother - I can attest to that.
Amounts to the same result & I can show my photos again easily when I'm in the mood.

There are work-arounds to this new change. Not that big a deal.

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 484 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 9/30/2013 8:51:23 PM
Not me...
In fact, wouldn't date a man that can't drive a stick.
Just want to know that I can rely on him to get me out of trouble in a hurry.

Foot to the floor Darlin' - let's get outta here.

I prefer to walk, but feel better with Plan B in my pocket.

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 137 (view)
 
scent of an older man
Posted: 8/24/2013 3:37:15 PM
Unbelievable...you can't even have a good ending to a scenario without some people
calling 'foul'. How odd. Can people really be that irritated that the situation had a postitve resolution, so
they grasp at any flawed logic to disparage her sucess.

There are a few posters that stink around here and it has nothing to do with their diet - but looks like a
natural part of who they are. It just galls some posters that things can actually work out for the people willing to
try. How dare they find happiness.

Shakes head...wtf

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 129 (view)
 
scent of an older man
Posted: 8/23/2013 12:29:08 PM
Great news NCA!!
Finally - a thread that actually helped someone.

Enjoy your new bed of roses...:)

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 126 (view)
 
scent of an older man
Posted: 8/22/2013 10:10:47 PM

Apparently some older folks smell bad after sex


Not necessarily an age thing.
The fellow I experienced this with was in his early 40s.

Not to say that our body chemistry doesn't change as we age - but the issue in some cases is more
pheromonal/diet/illness rather than age-related.

BB
 broadway_bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 125 (view)
 
scent of an older man
Posted: 8/22/2013 2:48:43 PM
Yes! That's what I'm talking about. But the rest of the relationship is great.


Exactly. It's as if there is a hormonal change that occurs - creating a totally new odour.
Before sex - fine. After sex....yikes.
And of course, that is when you want to be close and savour the moment & the odour makes
it impossible.
Even worse, there's nothing you can say to him because it's not anything that he is doing.

If you really like the man, then maybe you should try and see if it's perhaps the smell of his semen. Or, the
intermingling of both of your fluids during sex that produces this aroma.

I feel for you NCA
Smell is the strongest sense we have and it's almost impossible to ignore it in regular situations - let alone during intimacy. I hope you two can discuss this & see if there is anything that can be done. The connection you
have may be strong enough to find a work-around.

Cheers,
BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 122 (view)
 
scent of an older man
Posted: 8/22/2013 10:55:37 AM

It's in his man-musk smell


I understand & sympathize completely.
It does not have anything to do with cleanliness/bathing.
If he is a relatively healthy person - diet/alcohol/non-smoker, etc...then it is often just the natural pheromone makeup that we all have & unfortunately, sometimes they are not compatible.

I went out with a great guy & he smelled fine to me - until we had sex.
It was the post-coital scent that I could not handle. I tried - but just couldn't.

Incompatible pheromones are nature's way of trying to keep incompatible mates away from each other.
However, while that may hold some weight when you're in your reproductive years - if you're not going to have children with him, then it may be worth your while to try different foods & such to see if that makes a difference.
The zinc tablets also seem like a good idea.

I wish you success.
The natural scent of a man is intoxicating - when it's a good fit.

BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Boyfriend never wants to go on vacation
Posted: 8/5/2013 2:46:34 PM
I had a relationship with a man like that years ago. Not into video games, but putzing around the house/yard/garden.

We went to his relative's campground for a weekend once & had a great time, but never could convince him to
plan a true vacation together. I wanted to return to Costa Rica & trek through the country as I had before with a friend, but there was no way to explain to him that it would be a good experience for us as a couple.

Eventually the daily drudgery of a relationship was all that we shared & that sure lost it's luster.
All I could envision was the same old routine, day in, day out - until the days melded into one long boring day.
Same old, same old & then you die.

I did travel on my own - but all that did was push us farther apart. It made me question the relationship as a whole
if I couldn't get him to share in experiences outside the walls of the house.

Shame, he was a good man, but we obiously were not compatible on that issue & I would only end up resenting him
for it later - so it ended.

OP - Think carefully. If it's important to you and he refuses to consider the notion, then you will end up feeling like you've missed out on experiences as a couple and an individual - and eventually resent him for it.

Relationships are about give & take. It should be a balance.

BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
This Could be Useful
Posted: 1/26/2013 1:58:44 PM
The events can be a great way for people to get some interaction going with this site.

I've attended quite a few and always enjoyed myself. As for the ratio of men to women, that's
hard to judge from just looking at 'who signed up'. Many will not sign up, but go (that is the way I do it)
Many will bring along a posee (both men & women) to feel more comfortable. I've seen events where the
actual number of pepole attending was almost double the number that signed up.

Also, if the even is held in a public venue, then there are non-pof connections that can be made too.
Either way, it gets people out socializing more and I think that's a good thing.
A romantic connection would just be the cherry on the top.

BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 773 (view)
 
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/15/2013 1:54:53 PM

am just tryin to move on and find someone to share the simple pleasures in life with


^^^The simple pleasure that you offer Brian is going to determine your success on here, I'm afarid.
I would hazard to say that the percentage of women in our age bracket that are interested in nothing
more than a random intimate encounter off the net...is pretty darn small.
We can get those encounters in real life pretty easily.
Most 50+ women are looking for something with more substance.
I know I am.

Have the older guys given up? Not sure, but I think I gave up on them a while ago....

BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Last Minute Meet and Greet
Posted: 1/3/2013 5:47:56 PM

both of them sent me a response saying they are looking for someone who can go out on the spur of the moment.


My first thought was that those men specifically were looking for a more 'on call' woman.
There are plenty of people on here just looking for some poon so it makes finding the ones that want more, harder
The ones without any game show their hand early on, as those 3 men did...be glad.
Don't despair though, there are men out there that are looking for a more solid bond.
There may even be some here...

BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Is it too late to be a father at 45 ?
Posted: 12/9/2012 12:37:23 PM
Though physically you can still produce children, it is important at this stage in your life to consider some information from current studies:

Father’s Age Is Linked to Risk of Autism and Schizophrenia

(http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/23/health/fathers-age-is-linked-to-risk-of-autism-and-schizophrenia.html)

It's one of the major dilemas for people who wait to have children. They are often finacially better equipped, but not as energetic as they once were , and....more importantly, physically the sperm you are producing now is not the same quality that it was when you were younger.

If it's truly the addition of the joy that a child can bring into your life, then there are many ways to achieve that...even by considering a woman who already has a child/children.

As a wise friend of mine said often: You do not have to create a child to have a positive influence in it's life.
Look around you, there are plenty of children already here that could use some guidance, wisdom, experience and love.

jmo,
BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Profile Phrases or Key Words That Make You Cautious
Posted: 10/26/2012 9:02:56 AM
I live for Nascar
Looking for a gal to Ride my Hog
Loves to cuddle...on the beach...in the moonlight
Look younger than my age
...any name with 69

Don't set up any flags for me, but definitely make me pass by the profile...and quickly.

BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 705 (view)
 
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 10/21/2012 4:18:04 PM
meeting people these days is not anything like it once was, all the rules have changed


I have found that it's not so much that all the rules have changed but that the online format has created a strange mutation of what used to once pass for dating/meeting people socially.

That is why I prefer to connect with people in real life with groups like meetup dot com, where the pressure of romantic illusions are trumped by the simple pleasure of people getting together to enjoy doing like-minded activities.

Back to basics people. This venue might allow for us to connect with a greater number, but there is little value in quatity if it dilutes the quality.

bb
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Is dating over 55 the sweet spot for men?
Posted: 10/10/2012 4:35:41 PM
Its too late to have a child when you can't get it up any more. Until then, all you have to do is reach out to the still fertile women around you.


Considering the latest studies: Father’s Age Is Linked to Risk of Autism and Schizophrenia

(http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/23/health/fathers-age-is-linked-to-risk-of-autism-and-schizophrenia.html)

and the increase in divorces for second marriages, perhaps a little more thought should be put into that decision, even if you can still get it up.

So yes, 55 can be the sweet spot for men and women, but it can also sour quickly if we make the same foolish mistakes that we made at 25.

BB
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How do men feel when a woman contacts them first?
Posted: 8/19/2012 5:27:42 PM
I used to take the initiative when I first joined, but it seems that men in my age group (here) tend to think that
it's an preliminary invite to a 'booty-call' type of relationship.
Not sure if it's the age group of the men (50+) and that they are more comfortable in the 'hunter' role,
but that's been my experience...so I stopped.
Come to think of it, I've stopped trying to use this place to date at all.
The amount of effort required here is disproportionate to the results. I maintain a profile, but I rely
on RL and activity groups like meetup for actual socializing. Those men seem to be more than ok with a woman making the first move, maybe because it's not a 'dating/hookup' site.

I know that the men like it. No matter what gender you are, it's flattering. I'm just not
impressed with the results, so I don't do it, at least, not online.

BB
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How Long would you wait to meet?
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:02:03 PM
Exactly 8 days, 2 hours, 28 minutes....after that, he's pffft.

Had a gent here recently wait 9 days....had to tell him he was past the 'best by' date.
By the time he reached out again, I had already left for greener pastures for the summer.
If the initial momentum doesn't increase in intensity, I'm gone.

Make a decision man! I don't want to be the one carrying the kahones.
They make my panties all bunchy in the front....:(

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/12/2012 1:40:09 PM
You may also want to give meetup dot com a try. They have a huge selection of groups of
people that like to do the same things, ranging from winery tours/art galleries to hiking/beach volleyball.
I have much more fun doing something I enjoy & meeting people in a relaxed setting.

Dating sites are designed for romantic connections & that just doesn't hold that much appeal for me.
I do much better off line where it seems to evolve more naturally.

I agree with you about it seeming like a chore after a while. It's why I rarely date off the net.
I get bored with the mailing/set up/find a place/ what do you wanna do?
I have a better time meeting men when I in the middle of 'doing'.

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
pretty clear already,just checking....
Posted: 7/12/2012 11:04:12 AM
Well Irish, the nosebleeds were the tell-tale sign last year when you noticed them.
I went through the same thing with a friend of 20+ years and had to finally cut off communication
with her as I realized that her problem needed professional help. Until she reached the bottom, she
couldn't see the top. And she was a 'hot mess' too.

I am happy to report that since then, she has cleaned herself up and has been fine for the last 3 years.
There is hope for your friend as well, but it may still take a while longer for her.

Don't feel bad about bailing. Those of us that are not possessed by the addiction cannot fathom it's
grip and are of no help to them. It's a serious issue and she needs professionals to help her get out of that hell.

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Always same people on search?
Posted: 7/11/2012 11:54:03 AM
Sometimes, depending on the time of day, if there are a lot of people signing in at the same time, the first page will show the most current and it bumps forward as it fills. The new people signing in end up bumping page 1 to page 2 and then to page 3...., so as you scroll down the page and move to the next one, the page you just viewed has been pushed ahead at the same time.

It appears then that they are the same men in the same order (which they are if no one has signed off) and the new ones will appear at the beginning...page 1.
It took me a while to figure it out. Mostly happens during peak pond time.
Sort of like a fish traffic jam.

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How do I contact the Admin?
Posted: 7/11/2012 8:02:01 AM
So when you are on your Edit Profile page, do you see this?


To hide your profile from others click here Hiding your profile removes you from all searches.


the link comes through the 'click here' that I have highlighted in bold. It isn't bold on the actual page.
The way they have it set up is rather hidden, so some people miss it entirely.

That's the way I can do it.

If you don't have too much invested in this particular profile, you could try deleting it and then starting up a new one right after. Chance sare the name will still be available, but you will lose all your current contacts/messages.
If you go that route, don't forget to save all your info to transfer to your new one.

BB
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
First date... Dinner.. and.. naptime?
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:34:46 AM
This....

He arrives in his work clothes, pit stained, dirty, greasy and smelly. We sit down for dinner, and he starts fondling all the free chips with his disgustingly dirty fingers. Double-dips into the salsa

And this...

He gets halfway through his meal before he belches loudly, shoves the plate aside, and leans back. He farts


But this is the part you have a problem with?

If you're so tired you cannot complete a meal.. DO NOT GO OUT ON A DATE


Wow. I would think him dozing off would have been a blessing.
I am totally out of the new Dating Standards loop.

BB
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 121 (view)
 
Naked pictures before meeting
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:28:59 AM
Only had a guy send me unsolicited "junk"-mail once. He was so proud. Asked what I thought?

I said it looked just a penis, only smaller.
Then told him I was posting it to craigslist in the "man-love" section with his username.
Help him build up a solid fan base.

Never heard from him again....hmmmm

BB
 Broadway_Bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Short replies back
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:11:27 AM

It doesn't annoy me because it usually means that they aren't interested, yet they're still courteous enough to reply back.

Agreed.

I get confused when the initial messages are a decent length and then all the susequent ones look like they were written by a monkey (no offence to monkeys intended). Makes me think his Mum wrote the first one...trying to get him out of her basement.

Ahhh, the joys of techno-dating!
BB
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
When is a gift not a gift??
Posted: 7/8/2012 1:21:52 PM
A bigger man would have paid her the $50USD for the shoes


IMO this issue has nothing to do with penis size.


Depends on the size of his shoes...:) At least according to poplular myth. Clown feet = good times!

IMO, if she has actually meant the shoes as a gift, he never would have known the price.
Isn't that why we remove price tags from gifts before we give them?

To break up over this indicates that it was a tenuous relationship at best....and lost its luster in the currency conversion.

jmo,
bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Are who we choose to date pre-determined by biology?
Posted: 5/28/2012 9:26:52 PM
I have long been a believer in that theory.
No matter how visually I may be attracted to a man, if he doesn't have the right 'aroma' for me, I
ultimately will discount him as a long term potential mate. That basic sense will determine my level of
attraction to him, regardless of his physical attributes.

It's one of the reasons that online dating is too labour-intensive for me. I can't smell a man through the screen,
and that is a deal breaker...for me. So then it's all the BS messaging and attempting to meet...when in the end, he probably won't smell right anyway.

It's also the main reason that when I do meet a man I may be interested in, the first thing I do is give hime a hug. Need to get in close and get a good sniff. As is often said, we know in the first 5 minutes if there is romantic potential. I know as soon as I inhale & there's nothing I can do to control it.

Apparently I still rely heavily on my pre-evolutionary Lizard Brain. It has yet to steer me toward any Bad Boy types...maybe I'm just lucky.
 Broadway_Bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
So and so has expressed an interest in you,{A flirt option for women}
Posted: 5/21/2012 12:54:57 PM

hmmm, I wonder what made her flirt with me since I live so far away.


Well, at least you didn't think...wth is this old broad doing flirting with me??....:)


yes, you can do it. I just blocked and unblocked you

Thanks for verifying that. I still think it's a bit extreme...but what do I know. I've only ever blocked
on freak fish here, so I tend to use it as a last resort.

Happy fishing!
 Broadway_Bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
So and so has expressed an interest in you,{A flirt option for women}
Posted: 5/21/2012 11:13:03 AM
Block? Wow...not even sure you can do that without a message.
Maybe it works differently. Does seem a bit extreme

I'm gonna try it on you rockon...get ready for my Flirt!
Tell us whether there is a Block option when a lady Flirts with you...if you would be so kind.
:)
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/8/2012 11:35:17 AM
I imagine that it's for women only right now as it is being tested, but
I'm sure men will be included soon enough.

However, let's not forget that once this Beta testing is complete, this would be a prime feature to
offer only to upgraded members.
That's my thinking. Test it on the masses & then exclude the non-paying members.
so...use it while you can!

BB
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 29 (view)
 
How do you react when you aren't allowed in a church-sponsored singles event because of your age?
Posted: 5/4/2012 9:20:42 PM

I would suggest that singles events simply don't tend to appeal to men in the over 50 group as much as they do to women.


According to another thread, it's because the men can't seem to lift themselves of the couch.

It must be true. I read it in the forums.

BB
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 152 (view)
 
wants to date but nothing serious.
Posted: 4/17/2012 6:49:03 AM

I would advise all men to put, "I want a relationship," as their response regardless of what they really want

No need. That, along with all the other misrepresentations are prevalent here.
Filtering potential prospects that fit the criteria of what I am looking for can be mind-numbing.

Online dating had potential in its infancy, but I wouldn't suggest it to anyone today as a means of finding a genuine connection. Might happen, but more than likely will not. The users and abusers have degenerated it into a virtual human cesspool, where the very act of looking for a connection online glues people to their computers and removes them from the natural act of face to face socializing.

So yes, I make a quick assumption according the what they are looking for. Am I missing out on some great men because of this? Doubt it. POF is a prime example of quantity diluting quality.
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 128 (view)
 
wants to date but nothing serious.
Posted: 4/15/2012 7:18:04 PM
My experience has been that the majority of the 'Date but nothing Serious' crowd
are the ones that seem to be 'A-dick-ted' to this site and online dating in general.

Then they figure out that that approach isn't working well enough or they've fished the pond dry...and they magically transform into 'Looking for Relationship'.

It really is a carp shoot on here...lol
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 128 (view)
 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>VIEWED ME NOT A PAY FEATURE ANYMORE- POST HERE ONLY (other threads will be deleted)
Posted: 3/28/2012 9:32:37 AM
It was FREE now it's NOT!!!


Nope....as the thread title says...
'VIEWED ME NOT A PAY FEATURE ANYMORE

It was free, then it was pay and now it's free again.
Go ahead and try. It should work when you are logged in to your mail account.

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Is taking things slow really necessary after the age of 45???
Posted: 3/27/2012 9:51:42 AM
Deciding to fully commit to a life together takes some time to get to. To commit to just "see each other exclusively"---not so long.


As expected, this thread has shown that people's perception of 'time' and 'long' is going to be affected by their own personal experiences that create their own points of refence. Some like to get to know the person more before making a rash decision, and some prefer to claim their partner quickly with the perpetual 'fiancee' tag, before the inertia hits them.

What may be long to some would not be long to others. I say we should all just take as long as it takes for us to feel comfortable enough to take a relationship to the next phase, and to hell with what other people think.

That's all part of the search for compatibility. When I'm looking for a partner to walk next to me, it's best if we are both walking at the same speed.

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Asking for rent money after 2 weeks? Am i in the wrong?
Posted: 2/14/2012 5:08:30 PM

Since she was under the impression the rent was paid don't be surprised if can sue you once they see you withdrew the money without her permission

Highly unlikely & I'm sure this wasn't the first time she pulled the 'woe-is-me' trip on some sucker.

She'll be busy on here cruising for another 'mark' cause she's going to need a ride to go and pick up her new puppy.

I bet a month of her rent that the next time she does this she asks for cash.

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:25:27 PM
Only one of them. My first boyfriend.
Such a great guy & I was such a pain in his arse.
20+, a stoopid age when it comes to emotions and love.
I would want to see him again, mostly to apologize.

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 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 141 (view)
 
Does head over heels in love still happen after 45?
Posted: 2/6/2012 5:41:51 PM
Head over heels?
Not sure about that,
but I am getting plenty of offers for Heels over Head love?

I don't think that's the same thing...but I sure do see a lot of it here.

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 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Every chat starts with sex talk...WHY??
Posted: 2/6/2012 3:53:02 PM
T&Ts (what a great expression!!!!)

The last guy that that sent me that kind of message was the inspiration
for that term...Now that's what I plan on calling them. It's quicker.

You're right...it does only require a rudimentary filter, but some of 'them' are really good at reeling the ladies in for a while, even though that is as far as they ever plan on going. That's all they need/want, so they have no intention of ever meeting.

SO I do agree with the concept in the op
I'll chat about sex, when we've had sex....seems logical.

bb
 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Every chat starts with sex talk...WHY??
Posted: 2/6/2012 3:38:45 PM
Yes, men are sexual creatures, but so are women.

It isn't about bringing a sexual element into getting to know someone here...what we are surprised at is how rapidly the convo degenerates. And sometimes it's lewd right
out of the starting gate.

I think what is disapointing is the ratio of Regular Guys vs the T and T Gang
(T & T = Type & Tug)
It does mean that you have to use more filters/common sense now than ever.

It can be a little fun to mess with their heads sometimes, but the T&T types have no value to people that are here to actually meet/date, but there seems to be more of them here than any other 'type'.

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 Broadway_Bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Every chat starts with sex talk...WHY??
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:51:56 PM

I can disable chat..but that doesn't stop the constant offers and naked pics I receive..lol


Indeed...I just received an offer to send me a pic of his unit.
I told him to go ahead, as long as he understood that I post those photos
on craigslist...why should I be the only one able to 'enjoy' them.

Oddly enough, he hasn't sent it over yet....maybe he got busy?!

bb
 Broadway_Bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Flings...
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:30:35 AM
You know it was a fling when you feel like you've been flung.

Like any other 'fun' ride, it can leave you breathless, exhilarated and sometimes a little sick to your stomach.

BB
 Broadway_Bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Asking for dates at the last minute... Is it ok?
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:24:22 AM
That guy you're hot for is going to lose interest fast if you're always right there whenever he comes looking for you.


My experience exactly.
If it's someone I know already, then an occassional impromptu date is fine, but for a new connection...never.

I always have something that I enjoy doing as an option, with or without anyone else, and I won't be rearranging my plans to accommodate the whims of a stranger.

If that's a problem for him, then we weren't destined for compatibility anyhow.
I have also found that the last-minute men are often also the ones that are hiding
an existing relationship and they can't plan in advance lest the little lady decide that she isn't going to go to a movie with her frineds after all.

I prefer men that are in charge of their lives and their schedules...at least enough to plan a first meeting.
It's just the way I roll...:)

BB
 Broadway_Bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 58 (view)
 
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE, STORY OR POEM?
Posted: 1/30/2012 4:24:36 PM
"If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning"

 broadway_bella
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:56:10 AM
It's nice of you to think I can be equal but I guess looking at the facts it doesn't feel that way in the slightest >.< I don't hate myself or think im super ugly or nothin, but I know where I stand in attractiveness :] that aside.... Do ya think he will call?


Probably not...but I'm just speculating from the information here.

You're young, so this is the time that you will go through the learning curves of identifying whether someone is genuinely interested in you. Reading the signs is
a dating skill that requires practice and honesty. It might sting a little to admit that someone we're attracted to is not 'feeling' it as well, but in the end, accepting that will save you a pile of angst.

You'll hone that skill the more you date, but it is invaluable in both online and real time dating.

Have fun, don't stress it and don't romanticize situations unrealistically...it will make dating much more fun and you'll be better prepared when the real thing comes along.

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