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 Author Thread: We need to slow it down
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
We need to slow it down
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:20:30 PM
OP,
I agree with those that say...you should just move on & make your "expectations" more clear.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
FB and POF
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:10:27 PM
SmartSarcasticSweet:

I think once you are officially dating someone it's a HUGE red flag if they don't add you to Facebook. Sounds so stupid, because it's just a social website. But I think you can tell alot about someone by their page...and if they don't want you to have access to it I would question why. If you are dating and starting something substantial, you should want to share in each others lives. IMO anyways.
As for whether or not to write her...nope. Messenger always gets burned.

I couldn't agree more hun ;)
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
what am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:06:05 PM
OP,
I agree with all who say...you're doing nothing wrong...and those that you gave your #
to and didn't hear from them...don't deserve the time of day.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Is there an effective way to weed out cheaters?
Posted: 6/7/2012 11:02:08 AM
OP,
I agree with those that say: Just because you "lay it out" on these dating sites DOES NOT mean you're gonna "weed out" every cheater. You may weed out a few, but not all. I'm 100 % with ya' on the lack of tolerance for "cheating", but unfortunately in my opinion, there is no way to weed out cheaters unless you just don't have a relationship at all with anybody (stay "single"). Those you don't weed out with your profile, or even meeting away from these sites, that are cheaters are VERY good as "masking" their inner demons. But, their cheating ways eventually reveal themselves...just a matter of time.
Life is about taking "risks" in our unending search for happiness with someone...and unfortunately...until we find that, we're gonna run into alot of "potholes" along the way. But, if we choose not to take life's "risks", then we're potentially depriving ourselves of the opportunity to find that happiness.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
An embarrassing secret exposed
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:51:32 AM
Hun,
All I can say is...honesty in the "best policy". In my opinion, you should be open with your significant other...from the get-go...about any "baggage" you may have. And, to be honest, that kind of "baggage" is NOTHING to care about, so long as you wouldn't be running around like a "sameri" looking for blood. But, being honest about things like that from the get-go will, if you have a "shallow" significant other, save alot of wasted time & potential heartache than keeping it from them.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Learning to take a hint
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:42:16 AM
Victoriah,
This boils down to...what you're looking for. If you're looking for a "summer time fling", then this student you're talking to is the right one...because he's not going to have time, or maybe even the "want", for a serious relationship because he's concerned about his education more than a relationship (but summer time booty is always good).
However, if you're looking for a more fulfilling & long-term relationship, then this guy is NOT the one you need to wasting your time with.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:37:27 AM
westcoast-reble,
I, personally, do not believe the cliche of "love at 1st site". I believe that cliche is used when something about a person "sparks" in the other...and that "spark" turns into a "raging flame" of human emotions for that person...but 1 of those emotions is NOT "love".
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:34:09 AM
EVERYONE needs occasional "me time". However, when in a relationship (at any level), the "me time" SHOULD be different, in my opinion, from single life "me time". What I mean is this: When single, one's "me time" may consist of going to a "titty bar" or something along those lines. But, if you're in a relationship, you're "me time" shouldn't be, as in the example I used, going to no "titty bar" or anything like that...because, when you take on a relationship, there are some things that you give up.
I hope this makes sense...lol
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is there anything with wanting to see someone everyday?
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:09:56 AM
Hun,
Communication is the #1 key to ANY relationship. Therefore, if I may suggest, let your significant other know how you feel and go from there. He will either love the idea of having your company or let you know of his personal "boundaries".
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Quit looking online when in a relationship.
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:06:57 AM
Finetta,
I guess it just depends on the couple. I've never deleted my POF account, but haven't logged on it either out of respect for my significant other.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 62 (view)
 
I'm miserable
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:02:41 AM
MagicalMary
Wow Christy---

I'd suggest cutting ties with this man so you can focus on getting healthy. It's not so much about his instability but the fact that by staying with him you're enabling him to continue his manic behavior. I'd also seek some advice in how to handle his rants. While, I'd hope he was only talking crap---if his behavior is as unstable as you report I'd be a bit worried that if he goes off he would take you with him.

Venting helps---but being proactive in your well being and safety trumps this tumultuous relationship.

---

Couldn't agree with this more hun !!!
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How do I get over my addiction to men who only want sex?
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:55:37 AM
Hun,
The 1st & foremost thing you have to do is...QUIT PUTTING YOURSELF ON THE TABLE LIKE A SLAB OF MEAT.
In other words, you're gonna have to convince yourself (like quitting smoking) that you are not going to be a "piece of meat" anymore for whoever wants a turn. Secondly, you apparently need to know, that this change in your lifestyle is going to be tough (urge for company). But, you've GOT TO "stick to your guns" & not give into that "urge".
Last, you need to STOP LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND !!! Someone will come along, in time, that will respect you & will want to be with you because of "you"...NOT for sex. But, as long as you're "looking", all you're ever gonna find will be the same sh** that you're wanting to put behind you for good.
Wish you the best...and God bless ;)
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 66 (view)
 
When do finances signal a red flag?
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:47:06 AM
SweetCyn2011,
If someone has to hold a certain "financial status" in order to be considered an acceptable mate, I'm not gonna say anything further...except...that's down-right SORRY !!!
However, if someone's "financial status" is due to their own inabilities (not holding down a job, frivilous spending,etc.), that's a TOTAL different story and, in my opinion, SHOULD be a "red flag".
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:39:03 AM
Dear,
If I may say...you're mother should have more respect for you than to go "chasing" after those you're potentially interested in. Only thing I can suggest, if I may, is to (1) Quit having your mother around those you're "fishing for"...lol and (2) If you meet someone...and they're of good moral character...they will shut your mother's sh** down QUICK, FAST, & IN A HURRY. If they don't, then that should tell you that they're not worth the effort...because, if it's not you're mother they're messing with, it will be another woman.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Trying to get my ex back.
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:15:00 AM
Rooskie88,
If I may, say this...Sounds to me like your x gf is not "mature" enough to handle a "serious" relationship...and what happened may hurt, but is actually a blessing in disguise. The reason I say this, is because...you just don't "flirt" with another person when you're with someone...the ONLY person you should be "flirting" with, is your significant other. And you SURE AS HECK don't do that crap to "test" your significant other...that's RIDICULOUS & IMMATURE.
I can say this because...I've been there MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT.
Bro, you have to do what you feel needs to be done & to make you happy...but, I'm just here simply offering up some advice...not trying to tell ya' what to do. I hope things work out for you in however you pursue this bro & God bless ;)
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:05:21 AM
I agree with all that say...you should have the "exclusive" talk with him. Communication is the # 1 key to any relationship...if it doesn't exist, then there is no "relationship". However, if I may suggest hun, do not "assume" that since he's still logging onto this site, that his interests are still floating around; Many people, including myself, keep in contact w/friends on here and/or enjoy reading & posting on the forums here...and that's all the activity there is. I would "ask" him though if he's "keeping his options open" on here though.
Good luck & God bless ;)
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 73 (view)
 
No sex from get go so no go
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:52:58 AM
KatarzynaS,
"Men", in general, are looking for sex AS SOON AS they can get it...it's just a fact of life; And alot of "Women" are the same way. But there are a few of us that share your point of view on waiting for sex until you get to know each other.
Only other thing I can say on this subject is...if they do not respect you, as a person, to wait until you're ready, then they need to go elsewhere.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 370 (view)
 
small breast appreciation
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:46:21 PM
My "honest" opinion, if welcomed, is...small breasts are VERY WELL appreciated here...lol ;)
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 121 (view)
 
How common is it for guys to like both really big boobs and really small boobs?
Posted: 2/25/2012 2:49:32 PM
OP,
I can' t speak for all "guys", but I...personally...don't care how big
or small they are. Boobs are NICE !!! ;p
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 322 (view)
 
small breast appreciation
Posted: 2/14/2012 7:28:11 PM
VERY appreciative for:
BIG boobies
MEDIUM boobies
SMALL boobies
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Sex without tits!
Posted: 2/14/2012 7:11:33 PM
I agree with TooShadows...
VERY well put ;)
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Being vocal or verbal during sex
Posted: 2/12/2012 12:05:34 PM
Being vocal/verbal durins sex is ok, but I do agree
that too much can kill a moment as well.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/12/2012 11:54:29 AM
Jen,
I understand what you and everyone else
is saying about "non-strings-attached sex".
But, it's to each their own. Sex is a primal
necessity between man &woman. Done in
either a "relationship" or just 2 people getting together for a "f***", it is still "sex"
no matter which way you slice it or look at
it.
So I, & I'm sure many others, don't understand why you ladies are making such a fuss about just following your primal instinct and just be happy with satisfaction.
 
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