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 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 170 (view)
 
Username search
Posted: 5/7/2017 2:35:47 PM
Step 1: Logout
Step 2: go to http://www.pof.com/basicusersearch.aspx
...and voila

It absolutely will not work if you skip step 1.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Is this a flaw in Darwins theory or my thinking?
Posted: 4/26/2013 12:10:31 PM

why are their any apes left in the world today?
a good response is: if Americans descended from Europeans, why are there still Europeans?
I mean, if one population splits off into two, shouldn't one of them self-destruct or something?
...No.

An even more fun response is to say that humans ARE apes. And the person you have to thank for humans and apes being in the same category is a Christian creationist named Carl Linnaeus, the father of taxonomy.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
It's been a year, he won't give me oral!
Posted: 4/20/2013 7:15:42 AM
I have kind of the opposite problem with my gf. I love giving oral and she hates getting it. Some women are just like that I suppose.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
The Best Chance At Life......
Posted: 4/15/2013 7:04:36 PM

Long story short a few weeks ago a bunch of my friends got together, most of the girls there are mothers, well one of the girls that was there, who has no kids, voiced her opinion that she thinks that it is wrong for people who don’t have good jobs, a house, and a great life and that cant afford the best of the best, should bring children into this world..
Due to the fact that we have such a high poverty rate, and that every child should be given the utmost chance at life…

so my question is...... is she right?
I can see what drives people to think this way. I see a trend where those of lowest socioeconomic status are pumping out the most kids. As unfortunate as that might be, the claim that those who "can't afford the best of the best" should not bring children into this world - really? That's pretty extreme.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Gay child
Posted: 4/15/2013 6:59:07 PM
So the kid's gay. Who cares. This is about as tragic as a kid that was heterosexual.

Although the religious nuts in the family will likely be intolerant, as they often are in their daily quest to praise Jesus yet act as different as possible to him.

As Dr. Seuss says, the ones who mind don't matter and the ones who matter don't mind.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 187 (view)
 
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 4/15/2013 6:52:31 PM
Oh please....as if it has anything to do with your kids.

Any single dad (or mom) that can't get a date should quit blaming their kids and take a real honest look at themselves and maybe then they'll realize the real reason.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Viagra And Divorce: A link?
Posted: 4/15/2013 6:41:42 PM
If a guy can't keep it up and needs viagra, I could see that being a contributing factor that leads to divorce.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Not Noticing the Obvious...
Posted: 4/13/2013 12:18:17 PM
Sometimes its not that they don't notice the obvious, its that they don't accept the obvious. If a woman tells a guy "hey you're a really nice guy but I'm just not interested" what they often hear is "hey you're a really nice guy blah blah blah blah blah."

I shake my head at all the people on here that start threads saying things like "I told a woman that I liked her but she said she wasn't interested. What is HER problem? Why is she on here if she hates all men blah blah blah [insert more idiotic rhetoric here]" or my bigger favorite "I really like her but she said she isn't interested, never gives any sign that she's interested, pushes me away if I try anything, and flirts with other guys in front of me - why does she keep giving me MIXED SIGNALS?" .....lol....I love that every time I read it.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
First dates
Posted: 3/31/2013 4:17:23 PM
So you had the misfortune of meeting someone who was great, fun, and dressed like a normal person on a saturday afternoon. How tragic. Its a good thing you're not overreacting or anything.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
You had interests in a girl but religious view barrier
Posted: 3/26/2013 8:44:47 PM

you hate god we get it
Its obvious that he can't hate something when he doesn't believe it exists.
Or at least, its obvious to anyone of average intelligence, children, and probably most unintelligent people. ....but not you it seems.

god is going to strike you down for attempting to seduce others with your anti-religious blasphemy
Is that water you're on?
Nope...its just a computer chair. I'm sorry....I thought you were in a position to judge others.

As for the OP, I'd say you dodged a bullet.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
this person is not accepting messages this short.
Posted: 3/26/2013 8:25:51 PM

"this person is not accepting messages this short
That would be an ironic and funny reply for those guys who send women pictures of their penis.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
He refuses to take any blame!
Posted: 2/9/2013 9:43:30 AM
Shakti:
So what if he doesn't take any blame?

The person who doesn't take their share of the responsibility after a relationship ends, is the one who will remain stuck in the past and unhealthy patterns..

Just make sure that person isn't you ;)
Excellent point.

When a guy (or girl, presumably) tires of a relationship he'll often make accusations that aren't necessarily spoken because he thinks its true, its sometimes spoken because he wants you to f**k off and go away. Every moment you spend considering whether those words are valid or not is a moment you spend making yourself miserable. Don't let yourself get sucked in. Just move on.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 71 (view)
 
I'm going to break up with her because the only thing she is willing to do is movies and dinner
Posted: 2/9/2013 9:28:43 AM
I can't imagine wasting the money on a superbowl ticket so someone can have a lousy time.
Talk about idiotic reasons to end a relationship. Does she have to have all the exact same interests you do? If my gf didn't want to go to a sporting event with me I couldn't possibly care less. Dumping her for that would be like her dumping you for not watching a chick flick with her.
This is laughable too...
I'm supposed to be with her forever and go to sporting events and concerts alone?
Apparently so, since you don't seem to have any friends.

I suppose you'll have to dump her and hopefully find another great woman with lots in common with you. You will have to dump her too of course when you discover she doesn't have all the same interests you do. And later on perhaps you will realize that it is better to be alone at a sporting event than it is to be alone in life.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Is Jesus the son of God
Posted: 2/9/2013 7:59:24 AM
Msg: 80
The best proof of the divinity of Jesus is the extent to which this vile generation of heathen among us want to blaspheme Him.
Obviously because Jesus is the one being pushed down people's throats. And its not Jesus that is being blasphemed - its his fan club that people can't stand.

Msg: 81
Atheists (and haters alike) detest the notion of a God existing(and even more so for Jesus),
I want to believe in a deity and I am honest to myself - this combination of traits makes me an atheist.
I don't detest the notion of a god or Jesus existing at all. I'm not sure why you believe these lies but who knows, perhaps one day you'll have enough respect for yourself to be honest about those who don't believe as you do.

The God I read about in the bible, whom is portrayed as having the worst human attributes, now THAT is detestable.

because in their own haughtiness and self centeredness; God would have to offer them PROOF that he exists; yet by the same token they already assert that anything unexplainable must always have a natural explanation for it whether we can know it or not!
Its cute the way you confuse thinking reasonably with haughtiness and self-centeredness.
I would be happy to believe in a god or gods and as soon as I have a reason to, I will be a theist. But there is no evidence to give me a reason to believe it. Thousands of years of seeking non-natural explanations for things has never provided us with knowledge. Seeking a natural explanation has put people on the moon, cured diseases, and provided us with all the luxuries and knowledge we enjoy today. If someone seeks a natural explanation, it isn't haughtiness, its simply because they see no benefit to embracing ignorance.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Actually successfully finding someone on this site
Posted: 1/7/2013 2:02:00 PM
The irony is that the women you met on pof probably haven't met anyone worthwhile either.
Think about that.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 637 (view)
 
worst date u went on
Posted: 1/7/2013 1:59:11 PM
I met a woman at a coffee shop who was 50-60lbs heavier than her pics. During the conversation she admitted that she was schizophrenic and believed there were bugs crawling under her skin.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Why do woman/girls like older men??
Posted: 1/2/2013 9:25:34 PM
Because we're immature. A decade or so evens out the playing field maturity-wise.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Why are men scared off by the fact that you own a house and a car with two kids?
Posted: 12/28/2012 12:34:26 PM
Men aren't scared off by your positive attributes, they're scared off by your negative ones.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 838 (view)
 
Creationism in schools
Posted: 12/25/2012 8:15:09 AM

creationism is a science because it uses the same methods that are known to be accepted by science
It is a religious belief based on literal interpretations of religious texts. Claiming that creationism is science is insulting to both science and religion.

It is interesting that creationists claim to love the creator they believe in, yet they so adamantly refuse to learn about or understand his creation. They prefer to blind themselves by misinterpreting religious texts written by men instead of respecting the creator enough to learn about the world. If creationists respected the creator, they would no longer be creationists.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 78 (view)
 
What is your faith journey? What Do You Believe? What are your ponderings? Faith and Affirmation….
Posted: 12/25/2012 7:39:20 AM
A faith journey? One thing I learned from a very wise woman, who happens to have posted on this thread already, is that the opposite of faith is not doubt...its certainty. Things are taken on faith when they can't be taken on their own merits. As for me, I'm on a life journey.

What is the reward for being an Atheist ? ......Damnation in the Lake of fire reserved for the devil snd his angels... there you go...
The more people I meet who feel certain that they are going to heaven, the more attractive hell looks to me.
What always made me laugh about the ones who claim that atheists are going to hell is that the ones who say that are an insult to God. They are so profoundly unintelligent that they think that portraying God as being insecure (because he needs people to worship him) and a monster (for burning people forever if they do not cater to his insecurity) will actually bring them reward in the afterlife - LOL! I suppose I could join them and pretend that believing in an insecure monster will gain me greater reward than being a good person, but there is one thing preventing me from believing that way. Its called a brain.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Your thoughts on the End of the World?
Posted: 12/21/2012 3:31:08 PM
I don't like to brag but....I've survived the end of the world like 6 times already.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
If humanity had no purpose and was proven
Posted: 12/21/2012 9:42:28 AM
If your life had no purpose you could do what a lot of people do - start believing in an imaginary deity and convince yourself that it cares about you.

Purpose does not come from origins. If we were accidental or if we were made on purpose... its irrelevant. Being a dad gives my life purpose. Having goals and dreams gives my life purpose. The countless other delights that I enjoy each day give my life purpose. If I'm the froth that has yet to be wiped then I will enjoy life as much as I can before some cosmic being wipes my existence away. Enjoying life - that's my purpose.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 799 (view)
 
Creationism in schools
Posted: 12/17/2012 7:52:53 AM

A good exercise is to imagine that there are 2 parallel universes in one universe life was designed, in the other universe life evolved…..¿in which of the two universes do we live in? how would you know? What tests would you make?

This exercise forces people to accept both evolution and ID as possible explanations, and it forces you to give both models an indicial equal chance to be true. It forces creationists not to say ´´God created life because the bible say so´´ (because both universes would have the same bible) and it forces evolutionists not to say ´´life evolved because God did answers are unacceptable ´´ (because in one of the universes God did create life, therefore the answer has to be acceptable under certain conditions)
The test would be to take an objective and honest look at the universe, and a good place to start is to look at the earth itself.

The different layers of rock are called strata. We have many ways to test how old these layers are. Radiometric dating involves comparing an isotope with its decay material. Since these isotopes decay at a relatively constant rate, comparing the amounts tells us how long the isotope has been decaying. For example, uranium decays to lead and is measured with routine precisions in the 0.1- 1 percent range. When multiple methods of dating are used and compared to one another, this accuracy and reliability is increased further. Other methods include dendrochronology, historical records, ice cores, varves, plate techtonics, Milankovitch cycles, luminescence dating, and fossils.

Since we know how old the layers are, we know how old the fossils are that are inside the layers. The oldest fossils, 3500 ma (million years ago) are simple prokaryotic cells. Next came more complex (eukaryotic) cells (2000 ma). The first multicellular animals were 670 ma. Shell bearing animals were 540 ma, the first vertebrates (simple fish) were 490ma, the first amphibians 350 ma, reptiles 310 ma, mammals 200 ma, nonhuman primates 60ma, earliest apes 25 ma, australopithecine human ancestors 4 ma, and modern humans around 150 000 years ago. Even if one adopts a belief system that forces them to lie about the ages of things, they are still faced with the realization that the fossil record is ordered from simple to increasingly complex. Billions of fossils have been uncovered and they show how life evolved over time. Either there is an unintelligent designer that planted evidence to deceive us, or life evolved.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 785 (view)
 
Creationism in schools
Posted: 12/16/2012 9:48:17 AM
Wow, this argument has been going on for quite a few pages. It took me a while to see how this C14 in diamonds argument started.

For example there are diamonds, (alleged to be billions of years old) with C14 in them, something with C14 can´t be more than 60,000yo…….So finding diamonds with C14 is as extreme as finding rabbits in the Precambrian, but that doesn’t seems to be a problem for evolution. Also oil, natural gas, and coal alleged to be millions of years old, have been found with C14.
For starters, of course organic things older than 60,000yrs old can still have carbon in them. Carbon doesn't spontaneously disintegrate on its 60,000th birthday. C14 dating is generally considered accurate up to about that age, that's all. Older samples are less reliable in terms of accuracy.

If someone finds C14 in diamonds or other millions of year old items its for good reason - its because that person is stupid.
Carbon dating isn't meant for things that old. Its not meant for rocks. Its not meant for inorganic things that don't normally contain carbon so if someone finds something that has some C14 and they think that it makes carbon dating invalid, there's one thing you know for sure....that person is stupid. If I melt a computer in a volcano and say "SEE! computers don't actually work!" - is that a valid claim? No, computers work just fine when used as they are meant to. Usually, heh heh.

Asking how something like ancient diamonds have C14 on them is like asking - if I throw a glass of water on a towel, why does it get wet? Aside from the intentional mishandling and contamination that creationists often do to support their beliefs, C14 can diffuse from organic material into inorganic material. If a rock is rubbed against a tree or sitting in C14-rich material, finding some amount of C14 on it is to be expected.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 161 (view)
 
Has society bred stupidity?
Posted: 9/29/2012 9:51:49 PM

Has society bred stupidity?

I think society is breeding stupidity.
Uneducated dolts spending their lives on income assistance are great at popping out tons of kids, far more than the higher educated ones who actually benefit society.
/devil's advocate.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 130 (view)
 
GMO issue.
Posted: 9/20/2012 1:20:30 PM

Since the 1940's fluoride is used in toothpaste and is added to drinking water in many countries around the world. The dental profession claims that fluoride is safe and necessary for good dental health.

Fluoride is actually toxic waste from the aluminium, phosphoric acid and phosphate fertilizer industries. Millions of tons of fluoride are produced each year. http://mbschachter.com/dangers_of_fluoride_and_fluorida.htm

Up until the 1930's, fluoride was discharged directly into the air and waterways, causing great damage. Lawsuits were mounting as people figured out that their health problems were caused by fluoride. The industry's response was to change the public's perception of fluoride

. Many 'scientific' studies were presented to convince the public that fluoride was safe. Lucrative positions were created for 'research' and 'education' with the express purpose of promoting the use of fluoride in toothpaste and in drinking water.
lol, give me a f****ing break.
You're seriously trying to convince people that for the last 70 years we've been putting toxic waste in our mouths as part of a giant conspiracy to save money from disposing of it? Really? When you make up a story, at least make it believeable. And putting quotes around words like 'scientific' and 'research' etc is so tacky.

The CDC provides a nice summary of some of the studies that reveal the benefits of it. http://www.cdc.gov/fluoridation/safety/systematic.htm
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Should Religious Believers Be Forced To Pay For Private Schools While Non-Believers Get It For Free
Posted: 9/20/2012 10:43:13 AM
Is this the same perfectly written constitution that tolerated the enslavement of black people ? Did that bill of rights cater for the rights of black people ?
Its interesting that your off topic rant involves claims that suggest that you care about the rights of black people, when you are christian, which historically has been the biggest supporter of slavery.

From 1654 to 1865 slavery for life was legal in the US. That period of legal slavery includes the tenures of the first 16 presidents. The first 15 were all Christians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_affiliations_of_Presidents_of_the_United_States), and you'll notice the chains of slavery ended with the 16th, likely the greatest president ever, Abraham Lincoln. The first non-Christian who enters office ends slavery. Lincoln did, "even as a boy, largely reject organized religion" , was not affiliated to any church, and his two closest friends, Ward Landon and William Herndon "denied Lincoln's adherence to Christianity and characterized his religious beliefs as deist or atheist." "It was the Declaration of Independence, rather than the Bible, that Lincoln most relied on in order to oppose any further territorial expansion of slavery." (wiki)
Quote by Jefferson Davis - President of Confederate United states
Slavery was established by decree of almighty god, it is sanctioned in the bible in both testaments and from Genesis to Revelation. It has existed in all ages and has been found among people of the highest civilization, and in nations of the highest proficiency of the arts

Reverend Alexander Campbell
There is not one verse in the bible inhibiting slavery, but many regulating it. It is not then, we conclude, immoral.

Reverend R. Furman of D.D Baptist church south carolina
The right of holding slaves is clearly established in the holy scriptures, both by precept and by example.

Why is it that you are so against your child even hearing the word God?
Why are you so against your child hearing the word of Allah? Or Zeus? Or the flying spaghetti monster? If you don't preach to your children about these things, then your question is hypocritical. Not to mention off-topic and completely missing the point.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
One liner or no One liner
Posted: 9/11/2012 9:47:50 PM

You say you couldn't disagree with me more, yet a few of your point is exactly what I mean.
2)It should show that you read her profile.
4) it should not be too long.
The message you suggested does not show that you read her profile. In fact, most people you send it to will probably assume the opposite is true.
If you want her to know you read her profile, comment on something that is written in her profile.

Too long for me is many paragraphs. I can be quite wordy at times. The art of conciseness is sometimes lost on me.

in the end if they are basing their opinion primarily on your photo and secondly on your profile.
On this point, I completely agree. Although I often hear people chime in about how looks aren't that important - those are usually the shallowest of them all but are trying to appear otherwise.

Keep in mind that the prettier the girl, the more messages she gets. If you want yours to get her attention while competing with the other dozens of messages she got that day, you either better look amazing or say something that sets it apart from the rest.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
friends on pof
Posted: 9/10/2012 11:49:26 AM
If I ever get dumped because she 'needs to get her life back on track' or she's 'not ready for a relationship right now' or has 'commitment issues' or she's 'unemotionally unavailable' or anything like that, I will assume that its a BS line that is meant to spare my feelings and that the truth is she found someone she likes better.

And if a girl on here gets dumped with an excuse like that, its likely that he got what he wanted and wants to move on to the next one.

But I am somewhat of a cynic so.....
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
One liner or no One liner
Posted: 9/10/2012 11:27:41 AM

is my opinion that all first contacts should be short, a sort of "hey, you seem cool, take a look at my profile, see what you think of me." Then if they like what you're about then what ever messaging happens after that can be how ever long you want it to be. I see no point in wasting someones time with requiring them to write a long message if the result isn't likely gonna come down to that message anyhow. What do you think?

I think I couldn't disagree more.

And I think that if I send a message that states "hey, you seem cool, take a look at my profile, see what you think of me" that she will think 2 things: 1) oh gee he cut and pasted a sentence and sent it to 50 women, how flattering. And 2) oh great, another guy that can't even bother to read my profile and send me a message with substance.

I find that in order to have a decent chance of getting a reply back, I try to include the following elements in a first message:
1) it should be funny.
2) it should show that you read her profile.
3) it should include a question (and not a lame "how was your day" question, more like a "what makes your soul ache" kind of question).
4) it should not to be too long.
5) it should be well written, and not full of typos and other mistakes.
/my opinion.

And you'll want to have pics for her to see too. I wouldn't even bother sending messages until she can see what you look like.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
When Did YOU Join POF? Searching for Old Fishies
Posted: 9/9/2012 9:22:45 PM
I've been on since....
<----- whatever it says there.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Should I take back my boyfriend (he wants to keep in contact with his friend he had sex)
Posted: 9/9/2012 8:21:38 AM
There's nothing wrong with being friends with former lovers. If I'm in a relationship with someone who remains friends with someone she once slept with that's fine by me.

However, the fact that he didn't tell his close friend that he is in a relationship with you is concerning.

If I were you I would have said sure, I'd be happy if she visited US, and how you look forward to meeting her. If she's just a friend he should be fine with that.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Water dowsing pseudoscience or real science?
Posted: 9/9/2012 8:06:01 AM
You will note that the sticks you hold when water dowsing will only move when they are being held with your hands - because, despite all claims to the contrary, it is your hands that are moving them. Its like a ouija board, it only moves when people move it and subconsciously you might think an outside force is doing it but the only force at play is the people themselves.

If the dousing rods are loosely held in something other than your hands, like thin tubes for example, they won't do anything.

The guy probably located the pipe with the metal detector by a locator wire in the plastic pipe, or maybe a steel fitting or something. After locating it he could have made a scuff mark in the ground and pretended to find the same spot with the dowsing rods.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Humanoids walk among us
Posted: 9/9/2012 7:38:54 AM

They seemed to be everywhere one was an old man who blinked at me with 2 sets of eye lids inner and outer like a cat with a very off putting smile .They all looked off and not "normal" They also seemed to have only 3 fingers... I could not put my finger on it but I knew they were not human.
So the double eyelids and the 3-fingered hands weren't enough for you to really put your finger on it why they were not human hey? Hmmmm...

At first I thought you were kidding when you posted this thread. If you're not, my heart goes out to you for what you have to worry about from day to day. I went on a date once with a girl on pof that believed that there were bugs crawling under her skin - she had to scratch them. I met a guy once who told me that there were spiders crawling on the walls, but others can't see them because they move too fast - and only he could see things that move that fast. As I type this I have a client in the room beside me who spends the majority of his time talking to voices that aren't really there.
I know there is nothing I can say that will convince you that these aliens don't really exist. But if you get some help there are meds that can help you enjoy your life more instead of worrying about aliens all the time.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Humanoids walk among us
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:06:33 PM
I saw monkeys before. Does that count?
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Can she be cheating?
Posted: 9/5/2012 12:10:38 PM
She sleeps on the couch and doesn't seem to want to spend time with you. I wouldn't be asking if she was cheating, I would be asking what you can do to fix your relationship.

Incidentally, on pof when you ask a question like this you will always see a chorus of people telling you to dump your significant other. If you are madly in love with your soul mate and he/she does the slightest infraction, pof forum regulars will tell you to end the relationship every single time.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Empathy versus Sympathy
Posted: 9/4/2012 7:47:00 PM

I work with people who have autism, that present with 'challenging behaviours.
Coincidentally enough, so do I. I have had many thousands of hours of one on one time with clients with autism, bipolar, OCD, FAS, etc, but mainly autism. The only clients I get are ones that have a history of violence.


People are being given huge doses of anti-psychotic drugs to temper what is ultimately, behavioural problems of their carers.
I sometimes become distressed that people are being denied opportunities, because their care workers do not respect their rights and needs as individuals.
Sigh, this attitude is one that I always hear from people who have a powerful need to tell everyone how much they love autistic people that is only matched by their need to not work directly with them for any significant amount of time - but they will always trash the ones who are willing to do the actual work of caring for them. I'm not saying you do that mind you, these are just my experiences with others.

Currently I work 36 hours/week with a 6ft6in 270lb autistic guy in his mid-twenties with frequent angry outbursts. The 'empathetic' perspective of people who refuse to care directly for him seems to involve having some unrealistic idea that all his behaviors are a result of his caregivers, not his autism. But what I see when I look at him is a guy who does not have all the tools I do to handle the various triggers and anxieties of life. I see a guy who has a powerful desire to be with a woman, but he never will nor will any work with him (he hospitalized a couple women, his reputation precedes him). I see a guy who can't articulate himself very well and thus is unable to easily express himself - when a 2yr old has that issue you have terrible 2's - and when its a grown man who has autism to boot you have..... a really silly reason to blame his caregivers for his outbursts. Their empathetic approach involves blaming people, mine involves sharing the frustrations of the client.

After working with him on and off for 5 years, I'm ashamed to admit that he has never attacked me. It seems that despite all the noise and frustration he suffers in his head, he hasn't felt comfortable enough around me to release it on me. The less informed would see this as a success on my part.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
feel like i lost my solemate
Posted: 9/3/2012 9:33:37 PM
I was in a brief but intense relationship with someone not long ago whom I felt was my soulmate. It was a powerful and amazing time together, and when she put me in the 'friendzone' it felt like a massive hole was blown out my chest and my heart was spilling out of it. I was crushed. I'm still crushed.

I moved on and was dating others within days, even though I probably wasn't ready to. She is still in my life and I hang out with her from time to time, but I know that every moment I spend trying to get her back will be a wasted moment. Life is too precious to waste time this way.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Empathy versus Sympathy
Posted: 9/3/2012 9:11:44 PM
Empathy, definately.

My understanding is that empathy involves sharing the experience with another.
And sympathy is just feeling sorry for them.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 97 (view)
 
If you can sleep with an individual within a month after first meeting them
Posted: 9/3/2012 1:12:18 AM
The longest relationship I ever had was one where we slept together on the first night.
If two people genuinely like each other, and there's chemistry there, I think its pretty much irrelevant when you have sex for the first time. Waiting a month seems quite long to me.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 180 (view)
 
Creationism in schools
Posted: 8/31/2012 8:22:11 AM
I would put creationism in schools to teach the kids what nonscience looks like.

I would go on to teach them how in order to maintain creationist beliefs, there are 2 people you have to have ZERO respect for 1: the creator you believe in and 2: yourself.

You can't respect the creator if you think that he purposely filled us and other animals with flaws (hey lets give people an appendix they don't need but kills them when it bursts), a being so cruel that so many species have hundreds or thousands of babies and only a few survive, a being so deceitful as to plant mountains of evidence of evolution around the world to trick us. You can't respect a foolish, cruel, deceitful, monster.
And if you respected yourself, you would have the integrity to be honest about your beliefs.

I would end the lesson by teaching that if you believe in a creator and you respect Him, you can do that by studying his creation. Men did not create the earth, but they did create bibles, so when one contradicts the other...which one are you going to believe?
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
does online dating foster grass is always greener mentality?
Posted: 8/28/2012 9:27:45 AM
I think that it does. Some call it the BBD (bigger better deal), others call it 'one more click' syndrome.

I'm not here to find the perfect person, instead I try to find a normal person and focus on the attributes she has that make her perfect for me.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Has this happened to anyone else on a first date??
Posted: 8/27/2012 10:49:33 PM

she got up from the table and slowly walked around the restaurant, kind of flapping her arms in a funny way, and making chicken bock-bock sounds, some kind of crow's caw-caw, and something like a bird of prey might make....So what the heck was up? Anybody know? This happen to anyone else?

Uh yeah that's pretty common. Happens to me all the time.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Advice for Getting Over a Crush?
Posted: 8/27/2012 10:46:52 PM
The best way to get OVER one person is to get UNDER another one ;)
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 261 (view)
 
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/27/2012 8:00:07 AM
I'd say I get responses from a little over half the women I message.

I avoid lame, boring messages that compliment her looks or ask how her day went. I try to be funny, creative, ask a question or two that is actually engaging, and say something that shows I read her profile.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
The accidental boob graze
Posted: 8/27/2012 7:45:38 AM
I don't do accidental boob grazes but sometimes I've do accidental boob gazes.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Do You Mind if I Take Your Picture?
Posted: 8/27/2012 7:42:56 AM

and if I don't like the guy the answer to ANY question he asks is gonna be NO.
even if he asks if you mind coming back to his place for sex? ;)

If a girl asked if she could take my pic I'd be fine with it. She would already have access to pictures of me and one more wouldn't hurt. I have asked other girls if I could take their pic but only after we dated a few times.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Expectations
Posted: 8/26/2012 7:31:49 PM
If I got a response like that I would take it as a polite way of telling me that you aren't interested.

Like others said, ask questions. Engage them. Preferably not the questions they asked like how your day was - lame! - I'd rather be asked what are you passionate about? What makes your soul ache? Or throw something weird out there - have you shot down any UFO's lately? What superpower would you like to have? If you could time travel, what time/place would you go?
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
When Do You Tell Them Your Real Name
Posted: 8/26/2012 2:31:48 PM
I don't care if someone googles my name. You'll find professional scientists, golfer, artist, doctors, etc but not me.

I often give my full name before a first date (ie, we chat on facebook before meeting) or shortly after.

Incidentally, you would be surprised how easy it is to discover someone's name. Once I was bored and guessed a pof'ers name by what she called herself on pof, then I checked facebook profiles for women with that name in my city and her profile pic was the same as one of her pof ones. At that point I knew her first and last name and I could have gone on to google her and whatnot afterward if I wanted to, but I chose to message her on pof instead and learn more about her that way.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Religion and sex....
Posted: 8/26/2012 2:19:52 PM
I'm not religious thank God (irony) but if I was, I wouldn't let it diminish my enthusiasm in the bedroom. After all, in my twilight years I would rather look back on life and repent rather than regret.

I haven't had any problems with religious girlfriends being inhibited by beliefs that convince her to feel guilty about doing something healthy and pleasurable. Girls I know have mentioned a few catholic guys that were like boring, cold fish in the bedroom that refused to go down on them, citing their beliefs as the excuse for their prudeness (or more likely, selfishness). Foreplay and variety was non-existent and, naturally, sex with them would carry no risk of having an orgasm. Anything exciting or adventurous was deemed inappropriate.

Lucky for me I LOVE to be inappropriate. I don't know if Jesus died for me but if he did, I won't let that sacrifice go to waste - I'll have the most passionate, kinky, and pleasurable sex I possibly can, thanks :)
 
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