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 Author Thread: Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 180 (view)
 
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 1/17/2012 7:49:46 PM
And yet, another example of how maturity level and age do not correspond.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Co-Dependence
Posted: 1/15/2012 6:35:47 PM
I didn't read all of the posts, but I have to say that some of you really need to educate yourselves on the topic of Codependency. No offense OP, but you're one of them. Your description/example that you gave in your op is not codependency. And to the other person that stated it takes only one of the two to end the codependency is also incorrect. Please educate yourselves. And I say that out of kindness, not rudeness.

And if anyone is wondering how I know, it's because I am codependent. I have spent the last 1+ year educating myself on it, seeking counseling, and spending time in group atmospheres that support those that are codependent. It's really a LOT more involved than what is being discussed in this thread. A LOT more.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Do you have to compromise to settle down?
Posted: 1/15/2012 6:18:47 PM

LLW...don't mistake common sense for a college education. I know plenty of people that have gone to college that are ...not so smart.... and conversely, I know people that have never gone to college or didn't finish that are articulate, deep, well versed on a number of subjects, etc. Would you turn away a member of Mensa just because they didn't go to or finish college? Just out of curiosity...was it perhaps the "type" of guys you were dating rather than their level of education?
+1 I can think of a few people I know that are exactly like you just described. On both sides. I couldnt' tell you how many times I've had people respond with total surprise at my level of education. And I've had people not even hesitate as they don't care about those things.


OP - It really comes down to you. IMO, there are some preferences in a person that are just that; preferences. I'm willing to compromise. Reason being, IMO, when you have two different people with different tastes, personality traits, etc, but both have a willingness to be open, communicate, compromise, learn and grow from each other then that's where it really counts. For example, why not spend some time with them and see if they'd be willing to pick up some of your 'healthy' habits. I did just that with my last LTR. She refused to eat beef and pork. Wouldn't even eat something that had been touched by it. I ended up growing into that same eating habit. Since we've split I'll eat it every so often, but for the most part I don't. However, I do have 'requirements' (if you would) that I'm not willing to budge on. Like I will not date a transexual. Sorry, just not willing to compromise on that.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Should I mention it?
Posted: 1/14/2012 4:14:52 PM
Its only a bomb if you dont tell them until you meet in person.

Show a picture of you in your chair, give a very brief explanation like you did above in this thread... leave it "breif".

It is a major factor for someone who wants an active person, you can't do a lot of things that some girls want to do with their bf.

By showing yourself in the chair it becomes totaly mute point... if a girl replies/emails you then there should be no worry what she thinks, she's gotten past that right from the very start.

Just put it in your profile.
IMO, great answer!...I completely agree.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 3:46:02 PM
OP - I'd talk to your therapist/counselor about codependency and see if they are very familiar with it. I would also do some research on it. Read a few books. Educate yourself. One I recommend is called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty. It's a very good book. Full of information, examples, situations, etc.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Should I mention it?
Posted: 1/14/2012 3:43:49 PM
IMO, great answer!...I completely agree.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 129 (view)
 
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/14/2012 3:40:48 PM

Well get this OP: In one of my previous relationship something as trivial as me choosing an ice-chilled bottle of Lipton Lemon tea on a hot sunny day was cancelled by him deeming that "drinking tea dehydrates you even more" ...... he KNEW how much I loved tea .. nevertheless he DEMANDED that I switch the ice tea to a Gatorade which would "replenish" my water level ... ... (well it just so happens that I HATE gatorade!!) ....... I debated with him for a few seconds, told him I hated gatorade ... he would not budge ... Well, not wanting to make a huge ass deal out of one simple choice of drink -- I voided the damned bottle of tea and chose a bottle of plain drinking water instead.

Boy oh boy, how I wish you would meet someone like my ex ...


ROFLMBO...that cracks me up....for two reasons. #1) that's probably something I would have done years ago. #2) Now?..I realize just how ridiculous it would be to do that. It's your choice, not his. It has nothing to do with him at all. Not only that, he is incorrect. Iced Tea does not make you dehydrate. And, to top it off regular gatorade has a fair amount of sugar in it which isn't the best choice in a lot of instances. The only good thing about gatorade is electrolytes which can be found in other drinks.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
does forgiveness work?
Posted: 1/14/2012 3:33:14 PM

You should always forgive and let go of the anger. No one wants to feel that hate in their stomach forever. That doesn't mean you forget and allow the person to hurt you again.

Let it all go....


Exactly.

And by reading some of these posts, I think it's safe to say there are quite a few that have experienced pain, hurt, and suffering. Everyone has at some point in their life. It all depends on how you handle/react to that. You can either hold it in, stay stuck, and have a hardened heart. Or, you can choose to learn from it, grow within yourself, and move forward. As long as you hold onto it in some emotional way, you will remain emotionally stuck. And that is not for me. Been there, done that, and I was constantly miserable and pessimistic. That's not who I am.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:56:57 AM

Psychotic? No. In need of continued therapy? absolutely. Release this guy if you care anything at all for him. Focus on your treatment. The relationship youre in cant feel good.


Also agreed. As a severe codepedent, you need to detach from him and concentrate on yourself. I KNOW how hard this can be. Believe me, but it's a must if you are ever going to learn and grow.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 117 (view)
 
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:54:48 AM

No, not psycho- codependent very much, this cycle works with him? really ?
I couldn't stand it. If you are trying to chase any sane person away- congrats.
At these insecure times you might try phoning a friend or prayer, not sick confrontations to get a response.I am not being cruel ; you are ,and If he does love you as well ,doing this will get old real fast , Think happy thoughts and let the guy off the chain . drama free zone.


Agreed 100%!!!!!!!! Been there, done that.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 308 (view)
 
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to have sex??
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:43:03 AM

I can't bring myself to read 14 pages of emotional debate, but there is a very strong precedent for the husband's action to leave his wife - both in the eyes of the Law and God (if you must go there).
I didnt' read 14 pages either. I have to ask though, how is there a strong precedent in the eyes of God?


As for the topic. It depends. If there were many other problems and I was contemplating divorce already, then maybe. But I'd still be a good friend and be there for her if I so chose to do that. However, I doubt I could bring myself to do it. IF that was the only issue (at least the only 'major' issue) then no how, no way would I divorce based solely on that. That's ridiculous. There is MUCH more to a marriage than sex. Besides the fact that the wife did all she could do according to the information that was given.

And for him to move on so quickly and have another child......uh yeah, there were other issues at hand.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:43:07 PM
seriously, I don't think it's so much passivity as it is a varying level of codependency.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 222 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/12/2012 10:33:01 PM

You guys just reminded me of something. If a guy has a nickname for his penis and he posts it on his profile...."NEXT"
I'm almost afraid to ask, but I'm extremely curious.....................how did Rich and I remind you of that?
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Ex coming to visit / new relationship - best way to deal with it?
Posted: 1/12/2012 10:23:28 PM

if he's that important, he should get his own hotel room and if new bf is ok w/ this and only if he's ok with it (his feelings deserve first place in this scenario, not the other guy-if you want to keep him), then suggest the 3 of you could meet for lunch or breakfast. Don't have any alone time with this ex to the exclusion of your new bf unless he is totally ok with that. Even then, I wouldn't do that to a guy, but, if thats your plan,most of all, be sensitive and respectful to his feelings, and keep him informed all the way at every move. I would think if your ex has no ulterior motives, he would be a standup guy and tell you hes NOT coming and just wants you and new bf to be left alone, out of respect for your life moving forward.
I agree with some of your post, but disagree as well. There should definitely be open and honest communication between everyone. I always promote that. I agree with being respectful to his feelings, but that doesn't necessarily mean she has to do whatever he wants. You can respect feelings without bowing down to ones wishes, wants, or commands. I don't agree with putting his feelings first and the line of thinking that her ex should stay away and leave them alone. He is an ex, but he is also one of her closest friends. My friends are the ones that have been there through thick and thin, not ex-GF's. Sometimes that can be one in the same, but not usually. Any time someone thinks they should cut ties with a friend for a new BF I completely disagree with. Ex or not, they are still a friend and they were there long before the new BF. However, my experiences in life are what lead me to that belief. And not everyone shares it. So, please know my disagreeing is with respect. :)
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 220 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/12/2012 9:43:56 PM
ROFL.....Nice one Rich.


And "Doc"....I have a feeling it's been that long since you ate 'one' dorrito. (nothin' but love for ya. )
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 1458 (view)
 
older women younger men
Posted: 1/12/2012 9:22:54 PM

I agree, dating is another thing altogether and if the differences are obvious then it can be awkward in public and the generational gap clearly shows.... Women get the toyboy label and cougar..
I couldn't care less what the general public or society think of me or who I'm with. It's my life, my relationship; not theirs. And if they haven't walked in my shoes...........
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 1456 (view)
 
older women younger men
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:57:55 PM
Oh wow. The ignorance in this thread is absolutely hilarious. Ignorance full of assumptions.

I personally prefer an older woman. my last LTR was with someone 14 years older than me. And we are still very good friends to this day. One of hte first things she said to me was how mature I was for my age. That she knew guys her age that weren't even as mature as I am. It has NOTHING to do with age. It has everything to do with maturity level, life experience, goals, attraction, personality, etc.

To actually believe it could never happen is obsurd.

And BTW, Until recently, I had my profile set to where you couldn't contact me unless you were above a certain age. I then figured all the older women thought all I wanted was a fling or sugar mama, so I lowered that age requirement. And I've received more views and 'meet mes' ever since. But like I've said before, if these older women want to assume, not my fault......kinda like what I've read in this thread.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Ex coming to visit / new relationship - best way to deal with it?
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:46:42 PM

You want to honour a promise to a friend. That speaks volumes of your character. You obviously feel comfortable to talk to your BF about this. That speaks volumes of the kind of relationship you have. Both in a good way.

Speak to him, don't lay out all the possibilities you've mentioned here. Simply say something like "Hun, before I met you, I made this promise to my friend (details about the promise) but I'm not sure I can stick to it now that I have you. I feel bad letting him down since he needs to get away. How do you think this should be handled?"

Once the conversation is going, listen to his suggestions and concerns. Ryan should not stay at your house, unless you vacate it and stay with your BF during his stay.
If he is comming to visit, it's paramount that your BF and Ryan get to know each other and that the three of you do things together.


BEST response in here..Hands down.

First off, anyone that thinks you can't be friends with an Ex is either A) stubborn, B) immature, C) insecure, or D) any combo of the three. Secondly, I second this post with a big HELL YES!!. Either you stay with your BF (which may not be an option being only a few months), or Ryan stays at the B/B as he suggested. ALso, when/if you talk to your B.F I would let him know (on top of what was suggested here) that Ryan himself understands and is willing to stay at a B/B because he respects him (your B.F) and the relationship. I would also be upfront and explain he is an Ex. Don't want that to come back and bite you in the rear later by not telling him now.


Good luck in whatever happens.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 218 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:37:47 PM
I should post the lyrics to "I'm bringing sexy back".....J.T. ya know it. LOL


seriously though, people post lyrics in their profile?. Haven't come across that one yet. Thankfully.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
My best friend is a guy - how does that affect men I might date?
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:33:29 PM
In short....it could. It depends on the guy you are dating's insecurity level, trust issues/past experiences, etc. But it also depends on how you act around your friend, what you say (more how you act than words), the body language you give off, and whether or not you represent your friendship in an honest fashion when you mention it to the guy you're dating. Why would you discribe your best friend as a casual friend? That right there isn't total truth and sends a red flag to him. ESPECIALLY if he's had bad experiences. IMO, be upfront and honest about it. If they can't handle it, it's their problem.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:28:41 PM
Codependency is on the rise.


 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why do woman have a problem with men living at home?
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:23:59 PM
It IS frustrating. Extremely!...but another way to look at it, is if 'she' is going to make assumption on your situation or relationship and not get to know the real YOU......is she even worth it? Not in my opinion.

And I agree with whoever brought the point in living with her just to save money. That right there sounds A) a tad insecure, B) mommy's boy, C) lacking independence or confidence, or maturity, D) a combo of the above.

I don't know you, so I have no idea if those are even close to being true, but depending on how you address the issue and inform a 'woman', has a lot to do with it also.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
First few dates at someone's house
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:17:51 PM

I'd like to date but how can I get there! long long way!
Are you refering to someone specific or just saying?
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 199 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:18:51 PM

I really doubt that has anything to do with it. I've seen women who say they only like Black men, or only like Hispanic men. Big deal, they like what they like. Some people like chocolate, some people like vanilla. She never said anything derogatory about another race. However, I would definitely say NEXT based on everything else she said.
Agreed. People have their preferences. I don't see it as a bad thing no matter what that includes. I have my preferences too.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 198 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:16:27 PM
Wow, I never imagined that a thread I started would still be this hot

That said, I think I've just found the ultimate "NEXT!" profile (at least from the ones I've seen so far). Here's what's on it (and yes, she wrote it all in caps):

"I LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. WHERE THE WEATHER IS GOOD AND THE PEOPLE ARE AS FAKE AS THEIR TANS. LETS LAY DOWN SOME RULES:
1. IM ONLY INTO WHITE GUYS. LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN FOR EVERYONE ELSE WHO CONTINUES TO HIT ME UP. IM ONLY INTO WHITE GUYS.
2. IF YOUR FAT OR OBESE DONT BOTHER, IM NOT FAT SO WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU THINK I WOULD DATE YOU.
3. IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE TO JUST GET ME INTO BED, DONT BOTHER. GO HIRE A HOOKER IF YOUR LOOKING FOR AN EASY LAY.
4. IF YOUR UGLY, WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME ON A DATE THINKING MY ANSWER IS GOING TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN NO?
5. DON'T TELL ME YOUR FANTASIES ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO ME OR WITH ME.
6. DON'T BE A ****IN WEIRDO. I GET WEIRD MESSAGES DAILY. DONT BE THAT PERSON.
7. IF THE FIRST THING YOUR GOING TO WRITE TO ME TO START A CONVERSATION IS "YOU HAVE NICE TITS" OR "YOU HAVE BIG TITS" NEWSFLASH CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, I SEE THEM DAILY, I KNOW HOW BIG AND NICE THEY ARE. THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE. AND PLEASE DONT WRITE ME IF THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO COMMENT ON.
AND LASTLY,
8. IM NOT YOUR MOM, IM NOT YOUR AUNTY, IM NOT YOUR GRANDMA, I WILL TELL YOU HOW IT IS. I DONT SUGAR COAT ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY. IF YOU CANT HANDLE THESE SIMPLE RULES, THEN YOUR BEST BET IS TO JUST NOT MESSAGE ME. IM A ****, I KNOW, AND I KNEW WAY BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO MESSAGE ME AND LET ME KNOW IM A ****."

And truth to be told? She's not even that good looking. Makes you wonder who she learned this level of entitlement from.


I'd love to message her and tell her how I MUCH prefer a woman that can distinguish the difference between your and you're.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 211 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:02:25 PM

I don't think you are the only person who mentioned karma, and the phrase 'eye for an eye' from the thread title carries religious/spiritual connotations as well. Not sure why a discussion regarding beliefs would appear out of place in a thread about revenge?
You do have a good point. It just appeared to take a drastic turn after I mentioned it, but that may be because I was paying more attention to the thread after that point.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 9:36:31 PM
ANd BTW, I would never consider a woman 'easy' or anything like that just because she took the time and showed some confidence in approaching me. If anything it's worth brownie points with me.

ALthough, I did have a drunk girl get all over me and ask me to take her home after coming up to me only 5-10 minutes prior. Um, no thanks, I'M not that easy.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 9:33:39 PM

Even if it's to say "thanks for your email, but I'm not interested"? I don't like games or stringing people along, either. I belong to the grown-up world, personally. :) Interesting to see the perspectives.

If at first you don't succeed (or for the hundredth time, either)... lol


I agree. I prefer common decency. But that's how I view. Some would just prefer not to waste time as Steve mentioned. And that's ok too. The one's that I find annoying are the one's whose profiles say they are nice, or ok with meeting new friends, or just want to hang out and not have a relationship. Really?..then why not a reply? even one to say they aren't interested or cool with just being friends?

But, it's not like i lose sleep over it or anything.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 209 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/10/2012 9:28:27 PM
I find this amusing. I make one small no nothing comment about karma and it turns into a thread of belief or otherwise.


Interestingly enough, I'm a Christian.


It was just a comment in passing people. Not one expressing my belief.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:13:53 PM

Nope. Not saying I'm special. :) Just saying that if guys actually responded, that maybe it would encourage women to then speak up to the next man that catches her eye. I never said that men are the only ones guilty of this.

My point is, I have so far (to my memory) never gotten a reply back from a guy that I messaged. I don't send paragraphs, and neither do I say a boring old "hi" or the lackluster and pointless, "what's up." It just makes you sit back and not try anymore after a while!
I'm right there with you. I don't think it's so much guys v. girls as much as common courtesy isn't so common any more. Not too mention 'codependency' is on the rise. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Well, that's all I can think of anyway.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 191 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/10/2012 5:34:40 PM

* Standing in the mirror taking a pic of self. (You don't have one friend who can take your pic?)


Well, you won't like my profile then.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 190 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/10/2012 5:33:18 PM

Ok, wrap your mind around this female conundrum. I recently unhide my profile and got a message from a woman who had "Intimate encounter" on what she was looking for, and at the bottom under mail settings she had "must not have messaged someone looking for an intimate encounter."

Ladies, do you see what us guys have to deal with on a daily basis? How are we suppose to know what you want, when you don't even know yourself?
I could almost write a book with all the contradictions I've encountered these past few weeks. Most of them were from one person. Blows me away. No matter how many times I try to point out mixed signals, or contradictions, or the like; they think I'm nuts and don't understand why I don't get where they're coming from or why I don't think they're being clear.

Drives me nuts. Makes me wanna stay single for good. AND, to make it worse, these are people that mention how they can't stand game playing. It's like really?
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 184 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/8/2012 8:33:04 PM

Just a little sidenote on the whole Karla Homolka thing. Ironically, I DO know her. She used to live in Longeuil, and go get drunk in some local bars where she used to brag, (and get defended by her new husband from a lot of people that wanted to rip her head off her shoulders) of how she got away with murder and laughed at the face of justice. Trust me, she deverses a lot worse than she got. Karma aint laying her hands on her. She moved to somewhere in the Antilles because, funnily enough, she was wondering why people here in Quebec wanted to hang her so badily. 'nuff said. One screwed up headcase, lemme tell you.


I get what you're saying, but just because you ran into her at a few local bars where she would get drunk and brag about her idiotic decisions doesnt' mean you know her 'personally', which is what I stated. That is a situation of hardly being acquaintences much less friends to where you know her personally. So, like I said, you couldn't possibly know if karma is getting back at her on a day to day basis.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 163 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/8/2012 7:49:39 PM

You could very well be right Mike. It is possible that someone listing 'Doing good deeds' simply feels he/she has a higher than normal interest in volunteer work or other good deeds. It was not my intent to offend any good Christian fish out there to whom doing good deeds has a deeper meaning.
No worries. Can't speak for anyone else, but I wasn't offended. Just thought I'd offer up a different view point.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 176 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/7/2012 12:41:47 AM

Really you call yourself and adult and you are playing the condescension game.

If you're going to act immature don't be surprised when other people respond to you in the exact same way.


Nice way of sidestepping my question by the way.


Not that you are going to answer,because you have no valid argument,but if karma is real then why do bad things happen to good people and why do wonderful things happen to awful people?

Take karla Homolka for example.One half of the most sickest twisted couple around.She gets a few pitiful years in jail for her crimes and is now out,has a baby and is in a relationship and by all accounts has a great life.You would think karma would of bitten that b!tch bad.I mean she helped to rape and murder her own sister and many others.


This will be my final response to you as I don't get tied up in drama BS.


I have a feeling you'd be hard pressed to find anyone in here that would agree with you that I'm being condescending or immature. But hey, you're entitled to your opinion. Just as I and everyone else is. The mere fact that you actually excuse your immature comments by saying I was immature first, only proves my point further. Like to go back to 3rd grade much?....."But mom, Bobby hit me first." I think most people would agree (at least the mature ones) that a mature person is mature the vast majority of the time and feels no need to respond in an immature way and use the excuse that someone was acting immature first.

Sidestep?...wow, now I know you're simply looking to argue and not really in this discussion for anything else. Because the simple fact is, I told you wasn't going to respond to those type of examples and I have my reasons. Instead of respecting that you reply with utter ridiculousness. Furthermore, you never even posed a question. You made a statement genius. Re-read what you posted. And if you meant it to be a question, try phrasing it as such, or at the very least; put a question mark at the end.

It's not about a 'valid argument'. Again, thank you for showing your immaturity. Mature/Adult conversations can be debated and discussed with out arguing. But, it's clear you don't understand that.

And your example of Karla Homolka is very much skewed. Why?...simple. You do not know her personally. You have no idea what she deals with on a day in and day out basis. You have know clue of any persecutions, threats, or fear for life that she may have. You only know what you read and the pictures that are painted for you. You do not know her life. But, someone with your mental and mature level wouldn't understand that point because your intelligent level is clear that you believe all that is stated, even if it's only 10% of the entire story. Congratulations for again showing just how 'under-developed' you are on a mature and adult level. IE: (with means, in other words) You're quite immature, closed minded, and have a lot of growing up to do. At least that's what you've portrayed in this thread.


With that being said. Good luck on your growth and God bless.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 22 (view)
 
i hate mixed messages
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:01:03 PM
Don't get me started on all the mixed messages and contradictions I've received. i could write a book about it, and the first 300 of 400 pages would be about my most recent LTR. in fact, it still happens to this day because we still keep in contact.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 170 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:57:45 PM

You're not going to respond because you have no response to give because it is a rock solid argument against this foolish belief in karma and you know it.
Really? you're 37 and respond with a mature comment and smilie like that?
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 157 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:52:15 PM

Well no, but if he needs to list it as an 'interest' it probably does not come naturally to him like being kind, polite, honest, friendly, or an interest in stopping at red lights, never kicking kittens, avoiding pedestrians in crosswalks.

Just to give you a different perspective.....it could be possible that he is referring to volunteering his time, or assisting the needy in some way.



Of course, then there's the whole "I'm an intelligent women" thing. Everyone gets "men" and "man" as being plural and singular, why do so many women have difficulty with regards to "women" and "woman"?
Yep. That's why I mentioned it earlier. That's one of the ones that I've seen.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 156 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:48:02 PM

Are we still talking about what makes you say "NEXT" ??? Maybe less talk about body size/weight will help minimize the problem.
Um, but it does make me say next. I do have a preferance on body type, just like personality type and eye, and hair, etc. I don't view it as a shallow thing, because it's not their body type that makes me say next. It's not like I refuse to talk to anyone outside my preferred body type. It's the false description that makes me say next. And just to clarify, I'm not talking about women that are close to what they say. I'm talking about the obvious ones. To me, it shows they aren't honest about who they are; which in turn shows they are not comfortable with who they are. That is where the 'next' comes in.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:41:28 PM

I feel your pain mom2liv... I have contacted a few women here on the site.. close to my age of course.. and only the ones I felt there was some common ground.. no reply at all and thats ok, because Im not going to cry over it.
I just realize there are many people here with strange expectations for a dating site, Im 45, Im pretty sure the 20 to 35 yo bracket is out of my reach.. but my last gf was 26yo and that was lots of fun believe me, but we had nothing in common except for one thing and I dont think thats too hard to figure out.
I dont try to saturate the site by trying to contact every girl I see, I stay within my league so to speak.. and Ill just wait and see what happens:)
Same here. I've contacted several. ALthough I will say the majority were honestly just giving compliments without any alternative meaning. I've received more responses from those types of emails than those that I'd actually be interested in. And regarding the age thing; I'd be hard pressed to be interested in someone my own age. I prefer increasing my chances of not having game playing and immature crap, so with that I'll go with an older more mature woman that has some sense of independence. But, i'm sure they have some assumption that I'm only here to 'hook up' with a 'cougar' then be on my way. But if they want to assume, that's on them.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 112 (view)
 
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:32:41 PM

phe, what did u expect? Never expect anything good from the men u meet on this bloody dating website.!
ANd why is that?
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 111 (view)
 
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:31:13 PM

NO! he is still looking. I had a guy that I thought things were going well, he kept his profile for some time, but when we broke up and he went back with an ex, he deleted immediately. A guy that feels he has found the ONE will be off here so fast. YOu can count on that!
Agreed.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/5/2012 8:20:09 PM

Revenge is revenge.Just because it is allowed under the law does not make it any less revenge.
Re-read what was posted. And keep reading. Eventually you'll understand my point. In fact, I even specifically stated the topic of discussion was in regards to an individual taking revenge against another for something that 'other' did to them. An example was given to show justice as revenge within our court system. Two TOTALLY different things. But again, keep reading, you'll eventually get it.


Ok so karma is going to get you if you do bad things? So what about all of the horrible things that happen to people who never did a thing to deserve these bad things.If karma is responsible for getting you when you do bad things,then what the heck is going on there?

Think about it.

AND, again, re-read what was posted. Are you one of those 'skimmer-readers' that really doesn't try to comprehend the point that is being verbalized? Did I, or did I not just say a difference of opinion doesn't make one right over the other? Your non-belief of Karma has no bearing on what I stated. BUT, I will answer your question.....Your question is flawed. How? because what you might consider as 'never did anything to deserve it' doesnt' mean they never did. It's your perception that they didn't. And if you are going to use the example of rape, or abuse, or child abuse, or life threatening illness, I will not even respond. For several reasons.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 248 (view)
 
Gold Diggers in Orange County/South California!! any good ones left??
Posted: 1/4/2012 11:17:58 PM
Money comes and goes. If a woman doesn't like me for who I am and can appreciate what I do and have accomplished (like I would her), then she's not my type and not worth anything more than acquiantences.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Got Stood Up Tonight!
Posted: 1/4/2012 11:11:47 PM
I would never stand someone up. That's completely wrong.

And, I won't meet someone unless we've exchanged phone numbers first. That way if something comes up, then contact outside of a website can be had. Not too mention, I much prefer txt/phone conversation for more personal communication than over a website.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 267 (view)
 
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 1/4/2012 11:01:50 PM
I personally dont' understand the point. The person is going to find out sooner or later. So why do it?

i mean, what do I gain by telling someone I'm taller than I am?.....Nothing. I will lose something though. And that's called trust. Why would I risk losing that over a few inches of height?
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
he says he wants me. but doesnt show it.
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:50:44 PM

MAKE UP YOUR MIND ON WHAT YOU WANT.
ADHERE TO THE RULES YOU SET FORTH FOR YOURSELF.
STOP OBJECTIFYING YOURSELF (ON YOUR PROFILE AND IN LIFE) AND MEN WILL NOT TREAT YOU THIS WAY.
ROFLMBO...I can't help but laugh because I was seriously considering starting a thread about women being contradictive. ROFL
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:47:44 PM

Justice is always about revenge or people would never be sent to jail. Jail is a severe punishement and a horrible place to go.If justice was truly about reforming the offender then offenders would be sent to some hippie commune somewhere where they would be tenderly cared for,helped and loved.Instead we send them to jail where the law of the jungle rules.They have to look forward to rape,beatings,mental torture and possibly death.That's revenge not justice.
My reference was in regards to someone taking that revenge in their own hands. Your example is one of which revenge is taken from a group of outsiders after they've heard the facts. Two totally different scenarios.



What the heck are people going on and on about karma for?? Man what a load of manure that is.There is no such thing as karma! Think about it.We all have good things and bad things happen to us and for most of us when the bad things happen it has nothing to do with karma biting us on the azz! Think of all the little children abused.Why the heck is karma biting the azz of innocent little children? After all according to those who believe in karma when something really bad happens it's karma coming around to get us.
Having a difference of opinion doesn't make one wrong or right over the other. It simply means you have a different belief.



Think about it.




 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 72 (view)
 
In regards to marriage
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:42:54 PM

You should find out for yourself pray to God our father in heaven and seek him first. :-)
Matthew 6:33.

I just had to post that. :)

To answer the question, God answers prayer in several different ways. How you may receive His answer, may not be the same way I receive it. IMHO.


And whoever really believes the virgin is better because she can hold down commitment has obviously never opened up pandora's box in regards to a woman's sexuality. Understand, it is possible that once you open that box (yes, I said it, a sex box. LOL), theres a chance a freed bird may pop out and start to fly away from home. OR, stay in that box and be extremely boring and 'non-playful'. Pardon the pun.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:33:21 PM

Maybe it's just easier for women to go into doormat mode. Justice matters to men. I mean, look at the topic. Nobody is talking about random people to visit hate on. They're talking about being hurt, in some cases, being shattered, and after they recover enough to be able to walk outside again and not feel like dirt, wanting to do something about it.
Please don't group me in that comment. Well, reasonably presuming you are refering to 'self-justice', which is revenge IMO. Revenge does not matter to me. I dont' hold grudges or hatred. Hatred is a wasteful emotion. It gets you no where but a taste of misery.

As for your previous comment/quote of 'taking control'. Control in the majority of instances is an illusion. We can control our re/actions and intentions. That's about it. Heck, we don't even control our breathing. Something so simple as that. It's a natural occurance.
 
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