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 Author Thread: Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 3/19/2012 3:08:10 AM
I think this is more simple than a lot of people are making it. I'm going to be crude here but middle-aged men who either CAN get, or THINK they can get women 10+ years younger than them will try to do so.....most of the time. I do think it's silly of them to put a hard limit on it like that though. I think if I was 50 I'd put down a range like 30-55, for appearances if nothing else
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do men want a woman to lie to make him feel needed?
Posted: 3/2/2012 3:41:31 AM

So guys here is the question, is it true that a man would rather be with a woman who would pretend to be incapable in order to make him feel needed? Or, do men want to be wanted for who they are not what they can do/give to someone?

When you really boil it down, they are the same thing.

People in general want to find someone who looks upon them, likes what they see, and loves them for it. In my personal opinion, that is the fundamental reason for living.

Whether it be to marvel at their ability to fix things or anything else about them you like. I suggest you do a slight amount of soul searching and consider what it is you really like about him, and then tell him about it. Tell him what it is that makes you INTO him; be specific if you need to be.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
meeting before name and numbers?????
Posted: 3/2/2012 2:25:16 AM
I wouldn't take desires to quickly meet up amiss, provided the meet up is in a public place and intended to get to know one another better than online texting allows for. If he's asking you to meet him at his place, then yeah write him off.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What would you think of dating a woman with orthodontics, including a missing tooth?
Posted: 2/23/2012 2:46:34 AM
In the spirit of full disclosure, the missing canine would be a negative but only in the slightest most infinitesimal, miniscule, subatomic amount. In other words, it wouldn't sway me one way or the other and would have zero effect on my desire to meet someone.

The braces would actually be a positive for me, but I'm not the most normal man.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Girl Sending First Message?
Posted: 2/23/2012 2:32:28 AM
Send the message, then see what they send back.

I can tell you at least in my case, when women send me messages I don't think of them as desperate in the slightest bit. I think of them as being more proactive and it's nice knowing from the start that they are into you enough to take the plunge.

In general, the women who have messaged me that I've ended up dating have had their shit way more together in life. They've also have struck me as being smarter and more aggressive, both of which are sexy attributes in my opinion.

That being said, you need to follow the same rules we guys need to and not send messages like, "Hey, I looked at your profile and you seem like a pretty chill guy....how are you doing?" or some such flaccid nonsense talk. Mention something about them that you like at the very least.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Not into watching sports??
Posted: 2/15/2012 11:15:03 PM
I empathize with you (lived in NE until I was 16.) I know it's all about the Cornhuskers there like madness. Fortunately for me, I now live in a super liberal area where they actually care about more intellectual stuff, although I am way into UFC...

My advice to you is to be into whatever you are into, but be INTO it. Women like men who they can tell their friends, "Oh he's all about rock-climbing, or writing poetry, or blah blah" whatever it might be. The important thing is that you are into some activity or another, whatever it is, and that you are balls out confident about it.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I am at a loss....What does this mean?
Posted: 2/15/2012 10:43:41 PM
We're all kind of animals beating our chests in a certain light. We want to impress you and look better than other men.

I think you need to elaborate though on this part:

But I find very few men actually want to get to know me. Am I doing something wrong?
Maybe you ARE doing something wrong. What kinds of experiences do you have?
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Your opinion on tattoos
Posted: 2/14/2012 1:02:46 PM

I find the look that the Suicide Girls have to be extremely attractive. So Tattoos? Yes Please!
I actually live pretty close to the Suicide Girls HQ in Portland and the thing about them is that besides whatever style they have, they're also all super smoking hot young chicks. I think I'd find them equally if not more attractive if they kept all their dark style/clothing/hair/makeup but subtracted the tats.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Your opinion on tattoos
Posted: 2/14/2012 12:49:22 PM

Wanted the characters meaning "Inner Strength" on the back of my neck (i have longer hair). Along with this little sad fairy that I saw online about an inch tall incorperated in there some how. It's hard to explain what the fairy looks like in words.

PLEASE don't do it!

I'm sorry but this is *exactly* the type of tattoo you should not get. Guys please back me up here if you would.

I implore you to at least take several months if not a year to consider this thoroughly first before having it done.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
he has a crush on someone...
Posted: 2/14/2012 12:41:41 PM
He sounds like a weird**** I say move on and also take a better profile picture that isn't grainy or hides your face. It makes it look like you're hiding something. I'm sorry for off topic.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Your opinion on tattoos
Posted: 2/14/2012 12:36:54 PM
Here's my thing with tattoos on women....

I think in ~90% of cases, I find the women *very slightly* less attractive with the tattoos as opposed to without. The remaining 10% are cases of very well-thought out, usually larger tattoos that go very well with the woman's body and style (at least at present.)

So if I was giving a woman advice on this, I'd say to in general stay away from them, unless you have a VERY well-through out design that not only will look super fantastic but has meaning for you for the rest of your life.

I'd really recommend against any small, cutesy tattoos of cartoon characters/hearts/cursive quotes/Asian characters/etc. I'd also stay away from the lower back stuff as those have gained some negative cultural stigma.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What's this favorite thing all about?
Posted: 2/12/2012 6:53:06 PM
Some guys do it to try to let you know they have some interest, but for whatever reason don't write a message.

I think the lionshare simply do it because they liked your pictures and/or profile and want to message you later but don't have the time to put together something thoughtful at that moment. I used to do this, but stopped once I realized it sends notifications when I do and I'd rather not be the cause of the same confusion you are now experiencing.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do you ever get tired of the chase?
Posted: 2/10/2012 1:18:15 AM
I feel that this is an incorrect timeline for the perpetual bachelor, OP. You seem to interpret men as becoming more and more desperate as time goes on when, to my knowledge, the tables turn more and more as time goes on. Here's my take on it......

The typical young man starts off in his teens, chasing the hot girls. Then he moves into his 20's and realizes that women don't like having sex as much as men do, and lowers his standards.

Then comes the 30's, where he is now full of confidence, actually has some money, actually looks physically more attractive than he did in his 20s, and feels that he can make more demands.

The girls he is chasing now become more defined to what he actually prefers, and being that many women in his target group are now freaked out that they aren't married with children or afraid of becoming old maids.....he finds that getting dates is a whole lot easier.

Moving into his 40's, he now has a ton of money and still being single, he find that the available women are now throwing themselves at him but questioning why he is still single.


Maybe I'm not representing the average MAN, but I feel that I am representing the average man who likes to chase perpetually. I don't consider myself that man. I just don't think I ever want to have kids and that seems to in and of itself end relationships, while I continually get more and more appealing to women as I grow older.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Looking at profiles on multiple sites
Posted: 2/8/2012 11:38:20 PM
I totally do this for women I'm really interested in, but I don't spend as much effort on it. Basically I just check to see if they used the same username. Sometimes it yields more photos than they list on other sites. Sometimes they list more info about themselves.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Almost 50,salt and pepper hair, wrinkles.Passed my best!
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:41:26 PM
Don't mess around with plastic surgery; it seems to usually turn out badly with the face.

Even if it turns out great, it will freak women out if they know you did it.

A LOT of women like salt/pepper hair. George Clooney anyone?

You're better looking than the average man. Don't get too freaked out.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Do men think kissing is important?
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:36:38 PM
I think most guys would view it as a negative but not a dealbreaker. However, I know there are some guys out there who aren't into kissing at all; they're just somewhat of a rarity. Hopefully you can find one of them!
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Religion
Posted: 1/29/2012 7:39:15 PM
You made it pretty clear that it's a deal-breaker for YOU if THEY are not a Christian. If that is truly the case, then I recommend you leave all of that in your profile as is. Some men will move on the moment they read this, but aren't those the men you want to avoid anyway?
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
what to do ??
Posted: 1/29/2012 3:31:54 PM

he then said oh i forgot my wallet. but then pulled out his credit card

Was his intention to get you to pay for the whole thing, but then realized this wasn't happening?

I don't think you're missing out on much with him. If I invite someone on a date, I always pay unless they stop me and insist we split it. Things can change though after being well into full blown relationship mode, but for a first date?? I say move on.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 705 (view)
 
would you marry for money?
Posted: 1/23/2012 12:06:15 AM
This is obviously a very different question when posed to a woman vs a man.

The other thing is that a person being wealthy, subconsciously attributes power and strength to that person. Some women might marry a rich guy and not even see it as marrying him for his money. They might just assimilate it into a part of his character in their minds.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Questions for all the Jewish woman out there!!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2012 12:02:01 AM
I think there are two reasons for it.

One is simply a desire to be able to identify with their partner, having a similar background.

The other is not wanting to rock the boat within a tight knit family that would not accept otherwise.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
date at a gay bar
Posted: 1/22/2012 11:52:08 PM
If I was asked to do this, I suspect it would probably be for one of three reasons. One could just be to satisfy a curiosity she had about gay bars and what they're all about. Another could be that she wants to see me get hit on by men and/or see how I react in general to being in a gay bar. A third possibility could be to see what it's like to be hit on by women and/or my reaction to this.

I find all of these possibilities to be the product of a seasoned mind and none of them would bother me.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Jason Bourne vs James Bond
Posted: 1/22/2012 1:44:57 AM
I'm not certain about the fictional characters, but I think Daniel Craig would probably beat the shit out of Matt Damon.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
guy always says.. 'if you want to' after everything...what does this mean?
Posted: 1/21/2012 4:20:46 AM
I think this post is more a lesson to guys than gals. Most women want men to be decisive; it's one of the rules of nature.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why won't he kiss me?
Posted: 1/21/2012 4:19:22 AM
OP is fairly smokin so it doesn't make a lot of sense to most of us guys. There is probably something wrong but it's hard to tell if or how it can be worked through.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Cell Phone Provider
Posted: 1/21/2012 12:44:54 AM
I would just consider this one of many potential deal-breakers upon first contact with someone.

If you're already having issues with someone over miniscule nonsense like this, then I'd cut your losses straight away and not bother with him.

What it COULD be in this particular case is that this guy is just cheap to such an extent, that he will only date women he can get free text messages with from sharing a provider. If THAT'S true then the guy is obviously not a solid choice.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Have you ever..
Posted: 1/20/2012 10:05:02 PM
I asked this to a girl I was dating when I was a teenager. I remember she rated me a 7.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why so many from Ontario?
Posted: 1/20/2012 1:27:37 AM
Am I crazy or does it seem like a huge proportion of people on these forums are from Ontario? When I'm reading a topic about someone's situation or problem and want to put it into a little bit of context, I will click on their profile. For whatever reason, Ontario seems to be the number one place I see people residing. It feels like....1 in 5 profiles or something which would be a staggering percentage and I don't understand how that is possible.

Maybe I'm talking nonsense; does anyone else notice this?
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Dating for one year and he has never saiy I love you .
Posted: 1/18/2012 1:46:29 PM
I think not saying, "I love you" after a year of dating is fine in and of itself, but the behaviors listed by the OP give more than enough reason to leave.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Upgrade Profile worth buying?
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:42:59 PM

Wrong. No way to hide it here. It shows on your profile and searches differently when you are upgraded.

The only way I've been able to notice paid members so far is if they have a "badge" on their profile which you can hide. I don't know what searches differently means but if it means that the paid members just show up first, then I would pay for that.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Is a mutual belief in God/a higher power/creator necessary to have a relationship?
Posted: 1/17/2012 8:31:33 PM

moral fabric will not and cannot come collectively from the masses of people , The goverment cannot force a goverment Obama brand morality upon the people , Society's moral fabric is a collective generality of religion , and without it society would decay into chaos.

Yeah, that's why there's so many atheist convicts

*Every* empirical study on what you are saying shows that atheists on average commit less crimes, have less teen pregnancies, have less abortions, and have a lower STD rate. These are university-driven theological studies.

People who logically approach one thing tend to logically approach everything.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Is a mutual belief in God/a higher power/creator necessary to have a relationship?
Posted: 1/17/2012 12:39:36 AM

Why not have a civilised debate, bring all your chosen evidence and agree that the loser of the debate that cannot support his/her claims will align with the other's belief after reaching englightenment? :D

LOL

This really did make me laugh out loud in reality for about 5-10 seconds. I applaud your facetiousness sir, facetiousness that only some of us are capable of realizing is facetious :)
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Is a mutual belief in God/a higher power/creator necessary to have a relationship?
Posted: 1/15/2012 11:38:17 PM
This thread has gotten out of hand, however it is also very interesting reading material, so I would deplore mods not to delete it. Nobody is getting truly belligerent; we are having an intelligent discussion here.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Upgrade Profile worth buying?
Posted: 1/15/2012 10:06:15 PM

I think I'm less likely to respond to someone with a paid membership. It bothers me to think he'll be checking to see when I've read his messages and then waiting for my response.

One thing to keep in mind is that paid members have the ability to hide the fact that they are paid members.

I have only been doing the online dating thing for 2-3 weeks but I am casting lines out at all the major sites. I'm paying the membership fee for any of them that give you "more exposure" in one way or another. For example, this site shows paid members first on the "Meet Me" apparently, so any slight amount of exposure I get from more women seeing my profile from that is worth the paltry monthly fee in my opinion. I couldn't care less about the other features.

Part of the problem is that a lot of women don't even bother searching for guys, since they have such a ridiculous avalanche of mail every day. Anything to get more of them to even bother looking at you is worth the money.

Also in terms of female motivation, I suspect that men have it harder in the 18-30 age bracket than do men in their 40s and 50s. I think that is the age where the tables turn a little bit more in the male favor.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Double standard when girls message guys?
Posted: 1/15/2012 3:37:32 AM
I apologize for posting in "Ask a Girl" but it's simply supply and demand. We want them more than they want us. They are holding all the cards. They make the rules.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Long hair or short hair????
Posted: 1/15/2012 3:21:11 AM
I think it's badass, you look like you're from medieval times.

Don't you want to find a banger chick anyway?
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Just got my first Unread Deleted
Posted: 1/15/2012 12:43:55 AM
I guess I'm just the self-deprecating type.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Just got my first Unread Deleted
Posted: 1/15/2012 12:18:10 AM

I like the weird name, but then again I.......

"Frau Chilliknickers" is the absolute best internet name I have ever heard in my life, so your statement really makes me happy.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Just got my first Unread Deleted
Posted: 1/14/2012 11:53:42 PM

If I were you, I'd stop paying for the optional service that lets you see if a message has been read or deleted. You can't handle knowing it.

It's good advice, but it seems like most of these dating sites do this stuff where they show your profile first, or more often, or in some way give you more exposure and the monthly fees are always paltry amounts of money. For the added exposure, it's always worth it to me.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Just got my first Unread Deleted
Posted: 1/14/2012 11:51:24 PM
Hmm....maybe I should make a post in the profile review forum then, haha. I don't think I come off as mega creepy but I guess people can oftentimes be blind to their own flaws. I've had a reasonable amount of initial contact messages sent to ME from women who seem fairly well-put together.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Just got my first "Unread Deleted"
Posted: 1/14/2012 11:32:32 PM
I've been on here for a little over two weeks and in that time I've messaged I'd say about 20 women. So about one a day. I have yet to resort to just spamming everyone I find even remotely attractive and don't plan on doing so.

Today I got my first "Unread Deleted" message. I noticed that they did in fact view my profile. I'm assuming then that they opened a whole bunch of profiles for all the messages they received, then deleted all of the ones they either didn't like the pictures of, or didn't like something they wrote about themselves.

I'm curious to those of you who have deleted messages without ever reading them....what is the most common reason for you? It's hard for me to imagine even the most desirable women with avalanches of messages being able to just mass delete them without ever reading.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Is a mutual belief in God/a higher power/creator necessary to have a relationship?
Posted: 1/14/2012 11:01:32 PM

It's difficult for me at times to comprehend how people can not have faith in something

Lack of any evidence whatsoever is the reason.

Believe me, most of us atheists/agnostics WISH and maybe even HOPE there is an all loving entity in charge of everything and we won't just be in the ground later, but actually believing down in your soul that this is the truth is not a choice. You can't CHOOSE something like that. Something has to happen to cause you to change your mind. With zero evidence at all, people with analytical minds are not changing any time soon.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
School boys: how would you like to be approached?
Posted: 1/14/2012 7:33:51 PM
Honestly, if your pictures are accurate, you are kind of intimidatingly good looking. They probably don't think they have a chance and assume you are not single. Even if you make eye contact with a guy and smile, unless he is very confident he might not take the bait.

I actually have no real advice for you; I think attractive young women have a sort of "curse" in that EVERY man you encounter is attracted to you. Therefore finding someone who likes you for your personality is much more difficult than a man, or an average looking woman. Kind of like how a super rich man can take his pick of women, but has to look harder if he really wants to find one that meshes with his personality.

I don't recommend you do the approaching, because every man you do this to, is going to want to date you, regardless of what you say, leading to potentially a long string of short relationships with men who have nothing in common with you. I recommend getting into as many social activities as possible so that you can bare witness to the real personalities of men around you to see if you would be interested in them.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
friend or lover
Posted: 1/14/2012 7:11:11 PM
I haven't been doing this online dating for very long, but one mistake that I have learned from is to basically never mention anything of a sexual nature in your profile. A lot of women seem to have walls up over stuff like this and will write you off at the drop of a hat.

You could have a woman with a sex drive like a blast furnace reading your profile, but the moment she sees something like, "I'm looking for a companion to share an emotional and sexual connection with" or some such thing, they could run for the hills.

So in my humble opinion, best to avoid sex talk whatsoever unless they bring it up. That will all come later anyway after you are hanging out with them in person.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Asking for Pics
Posted: 1/13/2012 2:26:23 AM
I'd like to say to just ignore the women who post the obvious hidden body photos if you're not into bigger gals, but there really are some women out there who look GOOD but have such a distorted self image that they think they weigh too much and therefore hide it.

For the most part though, I think people who've got it tend to flaunt it. I still don't get the whole ban on shirtless photos. If somebody looks great and posts a photo on the beach in nothing but shorts or a bikini, why is that so wrong?
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Attracting someone similar?
Posted: 1/13/2012 12:25:16 AM
You're going about this all wrong. You need to change your interests to be primarily "quad" and "mudding" based. Also be sure to mention that God is number one in your life.

I advise changing your headline to, "Country boy looking for his cowgirl!"

Come on man, this is elementary stuff, get with the times.....







:)
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
A womans touch
Posted: 1/12/2012 9:04:30 PM
If your kitchen cabinetry is the regular sort of bland whitish beigeish sort of thing, I recommend painting the walls brown. It worked out well for me and really made the cabinets pop more.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
I Need a Blowtorch
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:52:00 PM
My one piece of sage advice here is to not get pregnant.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Is a mutual belief in God/a higher power/creator necessary to have a relationship?
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:35:30 PM
These types of debates are always funny to me with the current state of religion in the United States. We all seem hell-bent (pun not intended) on dividing ourselves between religious and non-religious but the irony is that, at least in this country, people who choose to label themselves as Christians or atheists or whatever all seem to live roughly the same lifestyle.

The lion share of the country are what I call "half-assed religious people." They don't do anything differently in their lives from say...an athiest besides maybe going to church on Christmas and saying grace at holidays. They get hammered Friday nights. They have premarital sex. They ignore beggars. But they just aren't willing to go balls out and say that there probably isn't a god (just in case.) We all pretty much do whatever we want and are looking out for number one. I don't have a problem calling myself agnostic because if the LABEL is what gets you into heaven or hell (regardless of your behavior in life), then I'd rather go to hell. The conversations there are probably a lot more intellectual.

To get back on topic though, I think that athiests/agnostics probably would not do so well in a relationship with a very religious person. However, either party could probably do ok with the "half-assed" folks I describe above (most people.)

In theory, I'd have no problem dating a hardcore religious woman. I don't see it actually working in practice though because what makes a person decide to be one way or the other, is heavily based upon how their minds' work in general. I see that difference in way of thinking as being a lot more divisive than the actual belief or non belief in one specific thing (whether or not a god is in control.)
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why do men always want sex from me?
Posted: 1/11/2012 8:50:44 PM
ALL men want sex. Every single one. The only thing you can do is look for guys who are interested in what you're all about *in addition* to the sex. If you can somehow find it, then they will be willing to hang out and have fun with you and won't have a problem waiting for the relationship to progress for weeks/months/etc before the sex.

But even THOSE guys want to have sex with you. They just like you as a person in addition.
 weirdotool
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Funny Question?
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:31:59 PM
In general, men in their 20s are hornier than men in their 30s, which are hornier than men in their 40s, 50s....ad nauseum.

*In general*

It sounds like your boyfriend is exceptional.
 
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