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 Author Thread: Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
 avgguy50s
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 11/2/2012 12:51:27 AM
"i feel you may be obsessed due to your lack of intimacy you have had in your life and it must be somewhat distressing for you."

Nope, the person with Aspergers here is my family member. You are correct that it is not really a tragedy. The only tragedy for me is the time and depression that is secondary to the condition. I hurt for his pain as I watch him suffer and of course I want to fix it but I cannot. I do not ever see any healthcare professionals that want to run in with any answers as to a possible remedy. It is always someone like yourself who understands since you have walked in those shoes. Good for you by the way. You have incredible courage.
 avgguy50s
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 10/28/2012 10:12:13 AM
Dolphina,

I wasn't trying to be disrespectful or even disagree. I have lived with this tragedy in my family for the better part of 25 years. I was only saying that the only thing I saw in the only book I read was that a physicist had it. I do NOT profess to know the inter-workings of it. I would welcome the following:

ANY suggestion as to how to motivate a person with Aspergers, smart or not. In particular, the person I know has a good education but feels depressed and demotivated because of circumstances. He feels a victim or circumstances but will not do anything about going outside of his fixation to do what he wants to do in one area of work. He has been and I have taken him during his formative years to numerous drs of medcine and psychology, all of whom have NO WAY to get what some call the "mule" to change anything at all.

Question, and I ask this with respect: In writing and researching for your disertation, did you ever come up with a way to motivate someone like that? I was not corporal in my raising of either of my sons. His brother is a high achiever but he does not have Aspergers. I have been told for years that it is not parenting. Of course, I question that too. It is daunting.
He will not take an interim job and will not file for disability. He will not take responsibility nor will he do any of his share of any chores or so much unless it is what he decides he wants to do.
 avgguy50s
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 10/27/2012 7:27:47 AM
Thank you for your opinion. I read a book, "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" (I believe it was) and one central example in the book was a physicist who was living with his parents at about age 40. The guy was clueless as to
how to handle his job performance interview but it didn't matter since he had designed a major product for the company. My own family member is an engineer and the doc says a lot of patients who are physicists and engineers are Aspergers. It has been one of the biggest challenges for my wife and I to deal with. I guess I felt the need to defend this guy as not able to just snap out of it by ignoring it and that people with Aspergers are not generally psychopaths. It is irrelevant. They seem strange I will grant that. I agree, they can have empathy. Maybe sometimes they appear not to show it very well, thus confusing those around them. They seem to be in their own world, at least in my limited experience.
 avgguy50s
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 10/27/2012 1:58:51 AM
I have 25 years of dealing with this involving at least five or six psychiatrists and psychologists. What a pity that anyone would think that this kind of thing comes out of a drunken rage or is made up. for Peate Sake, it is AUTISM man, a physical condition.

If this young man sees a Professional working girl, a legal one easily found in Nevada, his entire life in this situation may change. They get nerdy dudes and Aspy types in a lot. They are the engineers and scientists and genius of the world. It would take a lot higher IQ to even begin to understand what I am talking about. I don't get it other than what I have experienced. Einstein and Steve Jobs may have had Aspergers syndrome, I don't know.

I can help him with the overcoming the fear of getting laid part with the sage information I posted.
 avgguy50s
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 10/26/2012 9:56:43 PM
In all due respect, the two posters before me do not apparently understand that Aspergers is a Physiological condition. I hesitate to call it a disorder or a disease. It is just the way some people are wired and it is different than some other people. In some ways these people are way more talented ins some ways than the rest of us. By the way, simply "tuning it out" is not a solution. That can lead to more obsession and depression perhaps. (ask a Doc) As for narcissism, these people mimmick narcissism because they lack empathy but they do not lack insight, I am talking in general. The are NOT sociopaths. Sociopaths are people without a conscience. If anything, these people are the opposite. They are highly moralistic and simply do not take their clues the same as some others. I see that while you mean well, (the poster who said sociopath) you have fallen into the trap. Many women get taken to the cleaners by a sociopath (a real one) while they would have had a REAL friend in an ASPIE. I KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF. I champion your cause especially when you say it doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want. That is real PROGRESS ! IMHO (thinking of my own beloved who lives with us)
 avgguy50s
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 10/26/2012 9:27:29 PM
Oops...Sorry, I mean NOT a longterm solution! Going to a brothel will give you a little bit of self confience and maybe a road map on how to proceed with a woman who is not a pro. There are ladies who will teach you everything. A lot of these ladies are only in it for the short term. They all have one thing in common. They are NOT illegal workers. This is in rural Nevada, not in Vegas or Reno where it is illegal. Ok, I have said too much. I am not promoting this, only offering a suggestion.
 avgguy50s
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 10/26/2012 9:22:44 PM
Coldcase12,

You first of all, are not alone. Unfortunately, many suffer from Aspergers Syndrome. I would first suggest that you not take my advice before discussing with with your Psychiatrist or trained counselor. In fact, i offer no advice but simply knowledge of what some people have done.
First, you are a stated virgin and you desire to have intimacy and understanding while at the same time not be judged.
Have you ever considered the LEGAL Nevada Brothels (where there are beautiful girls who are tested for stds weekly) Many specialize in virgins and getting guys up to speed. Would you believe that there are many men who go decades before finding out what sex is really like? I am not an ASPY myself but one of my family members is.
Although they quote much higher prices at times, I know several guys who go out there and spend about $300 on average for a 45 minute to one hour session. You might be surprised how pleasant and clean and friendly these girls are.
Anyone who thinks that you have got "control" over how you feel does not understand what you are going through. I have lived with this for over half of my life with someone who is near and dear to me.
I am NOT trying to be funny or myself weird. Yes, I have been to the ranches in Nevada. Go on CW Mongers website and you will learn a lot more. look at the external links for some of the web addresses for the various brothels.
Above all, get counseling first. If you go, don't get hooked! I see it as a once in awhile thing, a solution to a deeper need for intimacy and female companionship which you may accomplish once you've got the sex introduction part down.
If you go on that website, tell Funmonger hello via the messages. I wish you well man.
 
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