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 Author Thread: Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 2512 (view)
 
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 2/25/2012 6:36:45 PM
That's hilarous
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 2511 (view)
 
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 2/25/2012 6:35:46 PM
Sure, I meet them in public so it doesn't matter. If there is no chemistry I can leave, no harm, no foul. The last two men I were in love with I wouldn't have smiled at on the street so I've learned not to judge a book by it's cover.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/25/2012 6:30:05 PM
Bravo I agree,
Every Relationship is different sometimes date 1 or 2 is the right one to decide if you should keep dating.
We've all been there when you've dated 2 to 3 months then break up so there are no hard, fast rules.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
how long is long enough to wait for intimacy???
Posted: 2/25/2012 6:20:46 PM
Men are sexual creatures it is more common for them to try to have sex too soon. If a man doesn't want sex with you either he isn't into you like that or there is a more serious problem. Either way, if you've dated a man several months and he doesn't want sex run for the hills.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
High level of energy over 50.
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:29:33 PM
Part of it's genetics, failing that, a good attitude, less stress. Keeping active helps. I know if I've laid around I'm more tired and stove up, then if I get out. Exercise doesn't have to be a burden, lots of good sex helps with that too. LOL
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 128 (view)
 
Does Friends first ever really work?
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:59:36 PM
Amen sister. LOL
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 127 (view)
 
Does Friends first ever really work?
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:57:14 PM
It depends. Of course you have to be friends, or there is No relationship, just using each other. I always see on here that men want to be "Friends first", then maybe more. The problem with that is that the woman may put them on her friend ladder, instead of the relationship one. If she does, you NEVER move over, unless you were on the relationship one too. I understand you men and the non-commitment thing. They are even saying now, that men view living together as a step BEFORE they get serious. But, come on, what woman is gonna put herself out there and risk getting hurt in a Platonic relationship? If you have an interest show it from day one, I get that all men are bachelors until about 1 mo before they commit, or get engaged, and like to pursue, so pursue already. Make sure she knows up front of your interest, cause if she doesn't, you may not have a chance later when you decide she is pretty cool. Women will be friends with a man she is attracted to, and he'll generally know the difference from friendship with a woman that sees him as just a nice guy. Better hope you are more then the Nice guy to her, or forget it.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 168 (view)
 
Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:48:23 AM
Yes, you can fall in Love again. Is it a risk? Sure it is. But, when I can't love, it's time to give up and die. Yes, it is harder to get over at our age. (I'm 54) I think maybe that is because we are more cautious before we fall, and therefore fall harder . The last time, I thought I'd found the Love of my Life, only to get my heart STOMPED, once again. But, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and learn to be ok with or without him, or any man. Of course I'm always hopeful to find "the One", but finding Mr. we can have a good time in each other's company today, is fine too.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Trust issues
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:35:58 AM
If he is hiding things, there is a reason. And not one you want to hear. I would never go past a date or two with a guy I can't trust. I have enough to think about, and won't waste my time worried all the time. (Why, once my husband cheats, that's it)
I had checked on a guy from here that was a friend at a info site, using his info to verify the site for accuracy and dependability. I was delighted to know absolutely everything checked out about him, from side of town he lived on, to past addresses. While he wasn't the one I was really checking on, it still did my heart good to know that he was absolutely genuine, not secretly married, not a bum who said he had a job, etc.
Online, or in person, you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and NEVER accept any less. Dumping you with a text message, like an email, is just cowardice to face you. The guys a loser, and while you may feel hurt now, are better off.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 181 (view)
 
How important are POF roses?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:19:06 AM
I think POF Roses just mean you think the person is cool. It isn't a real Rose for God's sake. I rarely give the Roses and only to my male friends for being there, because men tend to view that like phone calls, women chasing.....
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
My profile doesn't show up under my interests
Posted: 6/4/2008 5:35:59 AM
Ok, Thank you. I guess they changed it, I use to be able to see myself.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 93 (view)
 
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:06:07 AM
Just because you are afraid of animals and don't like them doesn't mean they all dislike you.
Yes, animals can sense a person's quality right away. I wouldn't date a man that my dog disliked. The reason is, I had a dog that really disliked a person our friend brought over, watched him like a hawk. We later found out he was a thief. They sometimes sense that you aren't comfortable around them, but if they are aggressive toward one person and not others, there is a reason.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 1058 (view)
 
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:50:09 AM
I know it's hard. And I've been cheated on in a marriage. And No, I can't move past that. Some people may be able to, but I have to trust him out of my sight. Once he's cheated, I would always wonder when he was late, who he was with, what he was doing. I can't live that way, so No.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Having sex too early...
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:44:45 AM
Many men, (and I don't know you, not saying you are one,) feel that once she give that up she is a conquest, and he doesn't need to keep trying, so he leaves. That is why they say to get to know a person first, if you are interested in that person beyond a one night stand that is.
Many people, and most women can't have just meaningless sex, it has to strike a deep cord for them. So, having sex on the first date of someone they'd like to pursue a relationship with later, just isn't a good idea.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Having sex too early...
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:35:53 AM
I totally agree with Rune. There isn't a time limit, but those are factors you must consider. I know I've had sex too soon and regretted it, and then had sex on the 1st date of a major relationship. My male friends said there isn't a TOO soon, but then they are male. LOL
If they were looking for a long term commitment with me, they might feel otherwise. But the Greg Behrendt thing of 10 dates, is sometimes way off the mark, but I do see his reasoning.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
My profile doesn't show up under my interests
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:58:43 AM
Why is it that if I do a search of motorcycles for women 45-55 my profile doesn't come up?
That is my main interest, and it use to. I use to show up when I did a search of blond women that age too, I no longer do, so how do I know if I'm showing up in searches? I would like to date a man with similar interests.
Does anyone know why this is the case?
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/24/2008 1:17:01 PM

That is why I love the internet. Yes, initial attraction is visual for women and men. But, that is merely a preference. We all have them, we just should be wise enough to not let that completely rule our attraction. I fell in love with a man online, because after chatting for hrs at time, I knew his feelings on many subjects. His looks weren't my normal preference. (Too short, hair too curly, back hair, etc. etc. ) But, after getting to know tis man, and him being emotionally supportive for awhile,I fell for him. It didn't work out, but did open my eyes to the possibilities of relationships with men, not my normal preference in looks. In the first place he lived 1300mi away, so without the net we never would have met. And secondly, without email and chatting, we wouldn't have known each other enough to fall in love.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:43:20 PM
I think someone's requirement for "No Baggage" means they aren't prepared to assume the burden for things the potential partner can't carry alone.


Isn't that what love is,? Accepting someone for who they are? Accepting them, and their "Baggage". (Illnesses, unresolved issues, family, emergencies and emotional crisis) I think the no baggage remark is selfish, and they want a superficial relationship, without commitments, conflicts, or compassion. I say up front, that if you won't be there for me in a crisis MOVE ON!. To me that is the very definition of Love.
I know we aren't suppose to mention previous relationships. But, I was married for 33 yrs, if I never mention my ex, children, or anything that happened, I leave out from 19-52yrs of my life. I think that is stupid, as long as I don't burden my date with the details of my divorce, or rag on my ex for hours. He was a big part of my life, and mentioning him in passing, as we went somewhere, or an art piece is like his drawing shouldn't diminish the time on my current date. I fully expect widowers I date to mention their ex's. If not, I wouldn't want them for a partner. lol
To me, being there in the bad times, means you are worthy to be there during the good ones.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 159 (view)
 
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:23:47 PM
Another sign is that he wants you to come where he is. If he is into you and interested he'll travel within reason. I had a boyfriend tell me that. He traveled 5hrs to see me. We dated for 3 mo, and that isn't why we broke up. I've traveled 60mi to see some, mostly men with children, because it is more difficult for them to travel. Failing that, he has to pay for my gas. Now that I've moved South, most men are in Richmond that contact me. I use to work in Williamsburg so it wasn't a problem, now it is. I think men like to pursue, and if we go to them, we are too easily won and they lose interest. I truly feel that has happened with a few, and therefore, if you contact me, expect to travel to me. LOL
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
can friendship grow into true love //////
Posted: 5/24/2008 11:42:44 AM
I can work out. Google the ladder theory. You were probably on his relationship ladder, He was on your friendship one. Now that you see him in a new light, he has moved onto your relationship ladder making a relationship with him beyond friendship possible. Men only have one ladder the relationship one, and how desperate he'd have to be to have sex with you determines what ladder you are on.
You hear all the time of people that meet again after many years, or at a high school reunion and marry, so give it a shot.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 212 (view)
 
Is it just me or do women just start getting good after 30
Posted: 5/7/2008 12:37:19 PM
Some of us are Aging to perfection. LOL I think women and men know who they are and more of what they want after 30. So, that is a plus.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:18:32 PM
I'm afraid, Like me, you feel for a chronic commitment phobe. Google it. They are insidious, attentive, affectionate, emotionally supportive, sensitive, and loving. Much more so then most men, making him appear to be a Prince Charming. But it is an illusion, they can be so loving, so attentive, because they only intend to do it for a short time. They send tons of mixed signals, because they can't and won't commit, but have a fear of you leaving too. So they keep you dangling. Whenever you wake up, and start to leave, they pull you back in. Making sure you don't leave them. The internet is perfect for these people. They start seeing someone at a distance, because that makes it more likely to not have to commit. I was 1300mi away from mine when we met, and awaiting my divorce to be final. Which happened coincidentally on his Birthday. I'm 8 mi away now.
He was a man I normally wouldn't have looked twice at, ( not my normal taste in men) but after two years of being there for me 24/7 and chatting 4 hrs a day, made me fall harder then I ever have. Even now, when I know that is what he is, I can't help but Love him, and hope he comes back into my life in some way. Wasting our time, for the good relationships that are out there, for the illusion of love to an impossible to catch person. I knew he was afraid to commit, but thought all men were. But all men aren't commitment phobes, this is an extreme case that will never commit to anyone, to the point they don't commit to anything, to the extent that they sometimes won't even have pets, or own a car or house. They compartmentalize their lives, keeping their family, friends and co-workers apart, not wanting them to talk to each other. If you can walk away with your heart still in tact you are lucky. These men/women make us Leary of the nice ones, as well as the abusive ones. It is abuse of a sort, just more insidious. Keep you eyes open for these, but don't feel bad if you fell for one, it's what they do. Go from relationship to relationship, until the object of their affection falls in love, then they cool and withdraw, but won't let them go. They can be detected if you are watching for it, and I won't be stupid enough to fall for one again.


 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 532 (view)
 
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:47:13 PM
I think maybe you were on her Friendship Ladder. Look up the Ladder theory on relationships. Men have one ladder, how attracted he is to you (aka, how desperate he'd have to be to sleep with you), depends on where a woman is on his ladder. Women have two, the friendship and the relationship one. If on the friendship one, you can never go to the relationship one, unless you were on both in the first place.
If you end up on the woman's friendship ladder, for whatever reason. (She's in love with someone else, she isn't ready for a relationship, etc.) You could be attractive, fabulous, but it won't matter. If you try to jump from the friendship ladder to the relationship ladder you fall in between into the deep dark void. Never to climb out. I'm not sure it's true in all cases, but is a lot. I've found that in my life. I didn't understand how I could separate friendship aspect from the attraction aspect, and he couldn't.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 192 (view)
 
Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:22:55 AM
I personally hate it when they lie about their age, or don't post current pictures. Don't they think I'll find out when we meet. Besides, you don't look like your picture anyway. My friend didn't, and we'd known each other 2 yrs. I'd seen him on webcam, yet in person, he didn't look like that. I assume, I didn't either. I always post semi recent pics. My main is from last summer, my others not more the 2006. I post my current age 53, 54 later this month. I resent you think we all lie about it, My male friend lists 45, when he is 54. So, it isn't just women. I do my searches for younger men, because many my age can't keep up. But I hate it when OLD men, 67+ contact me. I'm not ready to retire yet, have no health problems. I do check them out, but feel it doesn't have much future if they are more then a few years older. The last 55 yr old I dated climbed mount Everest, was part of a sponsered mountain bike team, addicted to adrenaline, etc.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:03:25 AM
Men always hope you will, ummm, on the first date. lol If they didn't they wouldn't be men. However, not that many expect it. However, what they do expect I've found is that if the relationship doesn't turn physical after awhile, they think they are wasting their time. And in reality, how do you, or he know you want to be together until that happens. I will Never be in a long term relationship with a man I don't enjoy in EVERY way again. I went 30+ yrs where it was all about him and what he enjoyed, never again.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 133 (view)
 
Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 4/5/2008 6:22:09 AM
Of course you can. You have a relationship with them. Friend, potential boyfriend, etc.
You don't have to meet someone in person to care about them. Perhaps you've talked on the phone. It is no different to me, then when I speak with friends that moved away.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Women who smoke are far more promiscuous.
Posted: 12/25/2007 7:55:17 AM
I use to smoke and quit in 2005. That just seems ridiculous to me. I was married when I smoked and practically a nun. So that wasn't true of me at all.
Maybe they assume that since smoking is not longer politically correct, that if they still do, they are willing to push the envelope or break the norms more. Who knows. But statistics can be skewed to say anything you want, so unless you know the peramiters for the survey, and how they picked the participants you can't know if it means anything. Even then, the results of any survey are iffy, and need to be considered with a grain of salt.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Could this be the solution to finding true love?
Posted: 12/25/2007 7:45:59 AM
It is against my principles to pay for these sites. I can have it NOT WORK OUT for free, Thank you very much. LOL
My former husband wouldn't have come up as a match and we were married 33 yrs. I believe in attraction, then getting to know each other mind and soul to make it work.
Attraction is fine, to gain initial interest but then Love grows slowly, over time. Love based on love at first sight, or looks alone, is very fleeting.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
is this just a game???
Posted: 11/14/2007 5:02:30 AM
I think the internet has created a whole group of people that want to be pen pals, but not meet in real life. I don't know if they think they aren't interesting in person, not as attractive or what. I run into that with men too. Then there are those that want to meet the 1st time you talk. I also run into men that want you to be serious right of the bat, but then if you are they run because you are pushy. HA! you can't win, male or female. I moved from Ks in March, if I was still there I'd meet you. I'm not afraid of anyone. lol (btw, that is why some of my g/fs won't meet guys from here. Then why are they on it?)
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Why are older men so SEX oriented???????
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:44:55 PM
I know exactly what you are talking about. I haven't run into it in email so much, but 90% of IMs from here from men I don't know are like that.
One saying that my swimsuit pictures were bra and panties. (Good imagination, I guess) I put those in to prove I do have a figure, not a figure like a beach ball. (Which is a fear of many men.)
I had two yesterday. Plus a Nigerian con man from Myspace.
It is somewhat my fault because I'm very open about sex, and will discuss it freely. But, I tell them when they first bring it up that I'll talk about sex, but not JUST about sex. With most once that subject is broached, he won't change it back to other things. I give several warnings, then if he continues block him.
It was so bad after yesterday that I emailed my best friend, a 54yr old bachelor and sent him a present, telling him he was a rare find. A man that actually wants to know a woman before trying to sleep with her. He probably thinks I'm nuts, and chasing him. lol But I was so discouraged, that I couldn't help it.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 230 (view)
 
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:23:21 PM
I know what I'm looking for: I want a Honest, sensitive, romantic man that is a little old fashioned (As in pays for dates, offers to open doors, etc) that is emotional support in a crisis.
To me emotional support and emotionally available. Being a strong shoulder to lean on is the MOST important.
I feel if they disappear during the hard times, they don't deserve me during the good times.

I want him to not mind public displays of affection, listen and care what I think. (Even when we agree to disagree )
The most recent man to win my heart did so because of emotional support, saying call me 24/7 if you need me. Even though this man isn't my normal preference in looks.
He must give good advice. Seeing all sides of the issue.
Be more interested in me then sports, friends, or anything else. (Of course he can have his space, but most of the time.)
Care about animals, and his pets are his family.
Be a caring, giving person
Be sexually willing to try new things, and a willingness to please. (Since sex is 90% mental for a woman, if the man makes her happy, she will make him very happy.)
I want a man that I can't help but smile when I think about, that makes me laugh, that I will not mind being apart, because I know coming together will be a joyous reunion. A man I can trust, unconditionally. A man smart enough to know that our idiosyncrasies define our personality and why we love each other in the first place.
In short: I'm looking for Prince Charming, or at least my version of him. HA!
If you find him, let me know.

 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Womens Pictures
Posted: 10/9/2007 3:57:53 AM
I feel both men and women should show recent pictures. It isn't as bad when the old photo still looks like you only your gray or something, but still, a lie is a lie. And men that say they are brown haired, when there is still ONE brown hair on their head. I have a male friend on here that uses the picture from 2003. The problem is, we've met and it looks nothing like him now. Don't these people think if you meet you will find out anyway. And if you aren't going to meet and just friends, why does it matter. My pictures are always only several months old, or at least some of them. This one is July 26,2007.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Va Beach Halloween Party Oct 27th
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:35:47 PM
I'll try to attend, if not moving then.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Va Beach Get together Sept 29th
Posted: 9/29/2007 3:21:11 PM
I'm planning on coming. For some reason, I couldn't post before now. I know where Knuckleheads is since I was there for the Va Beach Bike Classic stuff. See you guys later tonight. Looking forward to meeting people here.
 
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