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 Author Thread: Cost of weddings
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
Cost of weddings
Posted: 11/3/2012 4:36:21 AM
My bestest ever g/f was married for the 3rd & best time via a registry ceremony with staff as witnesses - they told everyone about if after the event. Two weeks ago 2 very dear friends of mine tied the know at the local lookout with only her children and the limo driver as witnesses (second marriage for both of them).

Neither of my offspring (28 & 23) have indicated they want a traditional wedding. 28yo has been with the same girl since they were 15 & 16 and the daughter is another story and very non-conformist. If they did decide to get hitched in the traditional way then I would pay for and support their choices - that being said I would rather give them $10k each and say elope & do with it what you will.

As for me, married at 20, big white wedding and all that. Beautiful for the me I was then. Now, if I ever get married again it will be a case of those that mean something very dear to me being in attendance at a very laid back but meaningful ceremony.

There ARE more important things for me to spend my dollars on. Hope that doesn't sound too harsh.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 539 (view)
Posted: 10/1/2012 6:34:17 AM
Here's my experience...

I met a really gorgeous (in all ways) guy online who had previously been in a polyamorous relationship. Sadly, it came back to haunt him. His ex-wife loved (mother of 2 older boys and his youngest daughter who lived with him) that he'd met me and we were cool with each other. His ex-girlfriend and mother of his first daughter a year older than the youngest one) stalked his house and on the second night of us being together (because she rang the doorbell and insisted on knowing who was with him) decided that he could no longer see his elder daughter. After 4 months it became too much for a Dad to be separated from his elder daughter like this and he called it quits. The best 4 months of being loved I never thought I'd have again. But the reality is that the past comes back to haunt, regardless.

Be careful what you wish for :)
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
Moral Dilemna !!
Posted: 10/1/2012 5:45:37 AM
I totally agree - you did the right thing and paid it forward - Fox you ARE a decent man with a real good grip on the rights and wrongs. Toll sucks though!

Damn those little dudes that sit upon our shoulders :)
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
Mood lifter ... Semen contains anti-depressant properties, according to a team of psychologists.
Posted: 8/27/2012 4:11:19 AM

Anyway I went to google the properties of semen, read and read and had a spontaneous Nanna Nap halfway through some semen and plasma comparisons...

OMG I am a plasma donor every fortnight - they take bucketloads. I always feel good during and afterwards though - no sign of depression anywhere - lol
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
Mood lifter ... Semen contains anti-depressant properties, according to a team of psychologists.
Posted: 8/25/2012 3:31:09 AM
Like all surveys, the findings can be creatively used for various advantages. I've enjoyed the responses to my first thread - some semi-serious and some fun.

Whenever I hear of someone a little depressed I'm going to think of this survey... kind of excludes the hetero male population from being mental health beneficiaries, but I'm sure in the name of assisting their fellow (wo)men they would be more than willing to help.

Somehow I hope they never turn the active ingredient into a tablet.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
Mood lifter ... Semen contains anti-depressant properties, according to a team of psychologists.
Posted: 8/23/2012 4:32:01 AM
Oh I just HAD to share this with you from

Your thoughts?

Can semen treat depression and morning sickness?

Mood lifter ... Semen contains anti-depressant properties, according to a team of psychologists.

Ah, semen. We know it can make babies, but does it have other medicinal properties?

Researchers from SUNY Albany say that women who have frequent exposure to semen are happier than those who don’t – and that the sperm is the anti-depressant at the root of it all.

Published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the study included a survey of around 300 “college-aged” women. Using the Beck Depression Inventory to monitor the women’s levels of happiness, the team of psychologists found that the women who had oral sex and intercourse without a condom were happier than those who practiced safe sex.

The women who weren’t having sex and the women who used condoms had similar depression levels.

The psychologists believe the anti-depressant qualities could come from minute amounts of hormones in the sperm, including oxytocin, known as ‘the love drug’, serotonin, which promotes feelings of happiness, and cortisol, a stress alleviator.

Head of the research team, Gordon Gallup, previously suggested that morning sickness can be eased through exposure to semen, through either oral sex or intercourse.

Gallup believes that morning sickness is a woman’s body reacting badly to the foreign DNA – that of her father’s baby – in her body. He suggests that getting more exposure to the male’s DNA, via his sperm, could improve the nausea. His theory has yet to be proved in an scientific setting.

Gallup previously discovered that women who fall pregnant with unfamiliar semen – for example, from a sperm donor – are more likely to develop pre-eclampsia than those who are impregnated with familiar semen.

We're not sure where to start with all the reason that women having unprotected sex might be happier. They're probably more likely to be in a committed relationship and perhaps trying for a baby, for starters. And I'm pretty sure that most women with morning sickness would rather stick to dry toast than start the morning with a semen latte.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
School to breath test students...
Posted: 8/18/2012 2:25:05 AM
IMO only!

No, I don't believe it is excessive or intrusive. If this is one way to keep the occasion decent and fitting for the purpose it is being held then I'm all for it.

My grown offspring have been in both the public and private school environments, but spent the greater amount of time within the (quite strict) private one, and a test of the respect that my kids have for that private school is that my grandson started Kindy in the very same private school this year.

Can we as parents really complain about anyone not of a legal drinking age being tested at a school event. Think about it... the school has a duty of care and is living up to that responsibility.

I do wonder if the very parents who think it is invasive/intrusive would feel the same way if their offspring were part of an avoidable tragedy? A school formal should be about age-appropriate celebrations - not about pushing the boundaries. And if any parent wants to have a glass of champagne/beer with their (under 18) child to celebrate the end of their formal school years then do so within the family unit at a less contentious time.

I would be all for it - granted there are 13 years yet to go before it becomes an issue within my family (and I'd be hoping there'd be drug-testing too).

Let kids be kids - and if they are 18 at their formal then I am sure that a good sign of maturity would be to respect the host's wishes and refrain from drinking until the official night is done. The 18+ age group can then do what they want - as they are legally entitled to - and go off and party beyond the restraints of the school function.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an open-minded person and enjoy a drink and fun as much as the next person. Boundaries are boundaries - and the smart person knows when it is sensible and 'grown up' to abide by those.

Civil libertarians are responsible for much of what pisses us off in society - they have pared down discipline to an almost extinct level within homes, schools and society in general. There is no fear of consequences for misbehaviour - as there are no consequences anymore. No shame, no stand up and be counted for your misdeeds, no being responsible for one's own behaviour.

I applaud both the Brisbane college and the Southport school for taking back a little of the management of their environments to control the outcomes for the benefit of all.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:51:35 AM

no ... the cut-off age is any age 5 years younger than you are at the time ... there WAS a thread, I THOUGHT in the California forum (but I can't find it now so maybe they deleted it!) ... about a woman 93 lookin' for a man!

Oh, if true, how wonderful! Not only still interested and looking but doing it online. WTG!
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
Deadweight Parents
Posted: 2/25/2012 7:12:01 PM

Do any of you have those parents who dismiss everything you've ever been interested in?

No, mine went to God at relatively young ages. Wish they were here. So you have it over me in the parents dept.

It's like the older generations live for their goddamn marriage. Wake up, work, come home, sleep in the same bed as "hubby," rinse, repeat.

Hmmm their 'goddamn' marriage is the reason you are drawing breath. Their relationship will see the two of them through long after their ungrateful children have finally decided to worry about their own relationships rather than post online to strangers about their parents solid relationship.

My brother's in a bit of a rut. At 30, he's brought up wanting to try many things: shooting a gun, skydiving, snorkeling, etc. And the only productive thing my mom can think of saying is, "What the f--- for?!"

Poor baby. Good grief, my son is 27 and if he wanted to go and do anything he sure as hell wouldn't wait for my blessing to do it. If it was something that any mother would be terrified of her offspring doing he'd probably just kiss me on the forehead and say "See you when I get back." - or show me the pics afterwards. Your brother needs to grow some balls and just go do what he wants to do.

Maybe you're content with doing nothing but hubbyandwifeyandbabymakethree, but not every generation to follow will necessarily be quite as boring and dead from the neck up. My mom won't try anything if "hubby" won't do it with her. I commend the fact that divorce rates are as high as they are; my suspicion is that people are finally starting to adopt true independence and are realizing that marriage is often a long-term, comatose death wish.

Maybe, just maybe divorce rates are so high for lots of different reasons. Just be grateful your parents are still together.

OPer - if you want to go to medical school - just do it! Don't dare hang your lack of ability/motivation/resources on your parents. Yes, my perspective comes from being of the same generation as your parents and having offspring of roughly the same age/gender as you and your brother. As long as your parents aren't keeping you both locked up in a cupboard and feeding you nothing but bread and water I do believe you are, as adults, free to do whatever you want with your lives. Get out and do it instead of putting up a thread such as this. There's a whole world out there waiting - and your parents just might appreciate being left alone to do their thing without your obvious disapproval.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
HELP!. Should I just give up??
Posted: 2/24/2012 2:35:47 AM
No, do not give up. Do not become jaded and resentful like so many others.

I didn't see your profile before you changed it so can only comment on it in the 'refreshed' version.

You have a profile that is very readable and doesn't contain any of the cliches that abound on POF. I sincerely feel that I would be proud if my son wrote something as honest and heartfelt as you have. And if you lived here I can guarantee your profile would have bowled my daughter over with its expressed values. Your pics are good and you have a lot going for you.

I wish you well young man - the world is yours and your fishy will jump on your hook soon enough - don't despair.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
What am I to do?
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:08:01 AM
OP your issue I understand and Igor's response gave (what I believe to be) an honest male been-there-done-that response.

Couple of things I would like to say:-
1) Are we so hardened that we have to call this post a a cry for pity? That did surprise me. Whilst I've not been on the POF forums as long as some on here, I do have trouble with lack of empathy/sensitivity in some of the responses - and not just this thread.

2) Have you ever needed to just reach out? I have. I was having major problems with my daughter and struggled to find answers - I eventually did get those answers because I did reach out (also online). OP is reaching out - same dog, different leg action. Sometimes just writing your problem/s down so you can see the words helps you define/consolidate/re-evaluate your issues.

OP - I walked a very similar road with my marriage to the one you are on now. You have my empathy. The only advise I can offer you is to listen to your therapist and continue to encourage your husband to also seek help. No-one can force him too, and he needs to come to his own realisations. Sometimes you have to get to the very bottom to get the kick in the bum needed to make positive changes.

Doing what is right for you and your children - only you know the answer to that.

I wish you well.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 29 (view)
Asking for a PIC of the others stuff
Posted: 2/18/2012 3:57:19 AM
If it is what both parties want then go for it. However, it has never been my thrill to see pics of a bloke's bits - prefer to view IRL at the appropriate time and place.

I have had unsolicited dangly (and not so dangly) bit shots sent to me and it makes me think less of the guy for doing it. I've also been asked to send pics of my bits - and it ain't ever going to happen.

My body, and my lover's body are for enjoying in the flesh.

My opinion does not negate anyone else's on this topic - so don't nobody come beating at me with "you're a prude", "you're not with it" etc etc
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 40 (view)
Guys who collect...held to a different standard?
Posted: 2/9/2012 12:12:17 AM
Held to a different standard? Not in my eyes.

Even if I didn't share or appreciate your collection (whatever it was) there is no way it would be a judgement call on you and in a lot of instances, as per the collections mentioned on this thread, the items would be great conversation starters.

Common sense would prevail - if you rocked up to our first meeting with a suitcase full of your collectibles you would strike me as someone who wasn't quite socially aware, or if your collectibles were something that the general population would find offensive... then yes I would run the other way and fast.

In my view having an interest in something is one way to be and keep stimulated - especially in the search and discovery of whatever is being collected. There's learning to be done in all aspects of collectibles - from high end interests which necessitate travelling the world to obtain right through to wandering through a field with keen eyes discovering arrow heads.

An eclectic collection such as OP has is still a collection, and again would be great fodder for conversation.

Whatever a man's interests are they should be able to continue to enjoy them when in a relationship. Sport, cars, art, dancing, collecting, attending first nights - whatever - all go into making the individual.

I'd be more worried if a man didn't have an interest of some kind!
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
Ladies obession with tall men...
Posted: 2/4/2012 3:45:23 AM

Its a fashion thing
The taller the guy the higher the heels
All my dates where flats and i get to wear the heels

OK, who's with me... I'd pay good money to watch smothy in his stilettos on the deck.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
Ladies obession with tall men...
Posted: 2/4/2012 3:41:41 AM

mate you've got this shit wrong!, i'm a six foot huge british guy, here's your problem mate, female primeval instinct draws those women (they don't even realise!) to the BEST breeding partner..............thus the law of the jungle dictates, 'females seek the best breeding partner' i have no problems at all in fact the intimadation of a big man challenge 'turns em on'!lol, any ozzy bird txt me i'll show ya!lol

LOL - built like a brick shithouse are you ami2? Bet you're a pussycat at heart :)
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
Ladies obsession with tall men...
Posted: 2/4/2012 3:24:32 AM

Her mum, says to me... when she gets upset the skin under her eyebrows starts to turn red...

so once i was holding her.. smiling into her beautiful eyes... when it happened.. they started to turn red... so I yell..'''' hey.. shes turning red''''''''... and holding her up in the air...out..
'''''''''I think shes gunna blow''''''....
love being a granny.. .. no nappy changes... and if the kid turns red... straight back to mum...

Meh, my kids were both very darkheaded yet their little brows would also go red when putting their all into bodily elimination.

I get the OP's drift. Personally I prefer my men just a tad taller than me which is not difficult.

Preferences are just that, but I don't believe in generalising by saying that ladies have an obsession with tall men. This one doesn't - I have other preferences that perhaps don't get stated on my profile as I'd rather meet up and see what magic is there before ruling someone out on something so shallow. Having said that the non-smoker preference isn't negotiable. How fickle I am :)
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 89 (view)
Australia-The Lucky Country
Posted: 2/4/2012 2:54:46 AM

But I digress...Truth my mates....the island is nice and the people treat us nice(cuz were visitors) and the beaches are great.

It is, so we should and they are!

Have a wonderful time treeman & daughter - Australia is what you make of it.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
too many men!! or is it just me!
Posted: 2/4/2012 2:31:42 AM
If that one was for me crusty - thanks for the koc. If it weren't for me disregard this post :)

Dead no - wanting someone way younger than themselves, hell yes! I believe the desired age range for most men over 40 is 25-45 :)

Their loss (hair toss)

[someone should create an emoticon for a hair toss.. a moving one like that dancing green banana thing]

Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
Volunteering Aussie's - what have you done lately ya mug ??
Posted: 2/3/2012 10:21:07 PM
I am a plasma donor and let the vampires attack me every fortnight. I also offer respite for large dogs looking for their forever homes through a local vet hospital (I have a big back yard and a big dog so it's a win/win situation). My yard is their holiday home :)

I have every admiration for people who give a little back to their community.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
rate images
Posted: 2/3/2012 1:59:38 AM
Rate Images is a delightful bit of fun - so many gorgeous men out there of all shapes, sizes colours and ages. Some with the cheekiest of grins, some with the most arresting eyes, some with absolute confidence, some heartwarming and some with that indefinable something.

Sure makes up for the number of guys that are indoors with sunglasses on (don't you know we women want to see your eyes) or taking their shirts off and posing in the bathroom (if I wanna see your chest I'll ask) or showing their erection and/or getting a head job (never thought of POF as a porn site).

It's not about rating them on a good looks scale (that would be awful) - what I find good looking could be way different from the next person.
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
Dating with Children - should it be so complicated...
Posted: 2/1/2012 3:05:25 AM
Yes, your daughter comes first. She will not be a little girl forever, she will be grown up and gone to live her own life in what will seem like the blink of an eye.

I think you are right in protecting her from meeting new women, you are stopping her from having to deal with loss or rejection of others.

It's not complicated really, any woman that doesn't respect your decisions about your daughter has no right to be around her.

You will have opportunities and you will meet someone else worthy of the love of your little girl and you. In the meantime keep her away from immature girlfriends/dates - she shouldn't need to feel that she has to compete for your attention.

Good luck - and good on you for being the parent!
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
bald people...i need to know
Posted: 1/30/2012 9:37:38 PM
Bald or full head of hair or somewhere in between - doesn't worry me as long as what you do have is healthy and well maintained. I love sandalwood so would be happy to sniff a previous posters shiny cranium after he showers :)
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 1/30/2012 9:30:57 PM
First impressions are captured by how he looks (is he clean, well groomed and dressed to suit the occasion?) and how he greets me (is it eye to eye greeting with his smile reaching his eyes?). I want to engage with the person - otherwise I wouldn't have angled/organised/pestered for that first meeting. So much of our communication is visual and I want to see the complete person - not just one or two pics and a good profile. How do they fit with me - do they walk beside me, do they show courtesy in a natural way, are they quick to smile. Do they 'get' me?

Given that nerves can play a big part in first meetings I'm inclined to give a man a second chance :)
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
too many men!! or is it just me!
Posted: 1/30/2012 3:05:51 AM
ok so I'm not one of the guys OP was throwing the q at... but just want to say that I'd love to see more guys around my age online in my area.

My Meet Me's are at least 5hrs drive away, my Matches revert to a state level and my profile probably sucks, but that's OK cos it comes with a disclaimer :)

Ever optimistic I shall look forward to new and local signups of the male variety.
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