Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!


Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 Author Thread: How does one let things go?
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 34 (view)
How does one let things go?
Posted: 5/8/2013 11:53:15 AM
I am usually a cautious person who can fall in love fairly quickly, but it takes more than three dates to know I want to be exclusive. I am also very conservative. Did you have a ring on her finger?If the answer is no, then she (both of you) should be free to date someone else at any time.
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
How to gently and respectfullly decline a date...
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:50:10 AM
I have one to top the "Why" question. I told the guy some of my reasons for not wanting to continue dating him.

We had good conversation, but he did not initiate any physical contact (no arm around me, hand holding, no hugs, and not even a kiss on the cheek) in our 10 dates. My early thoughts were that he was being respectful and taking it slow. I initiated a hug with him to see if that would break down a wall; it didn't. The final straw was witnessing the lack of affection to family members that he had not seen for quite some time. I couldn't be involved in a family that did not show any affection!

I originally believed he had some potential and part of his problem was that he had not been out of his marriage as long as I had. I was patient to a point and did not made a hasty decision (10 dates). I felt as though he deserved and needed an explanation, so I chose to tell him reasons that would be most helpful in his family and dating relationships. I also suggested he may want to seek professional counseling.

He tried to get me to change my mind by keeping me on the phone for 2 1/2 hours. I kept emphasizing that he was not respecting me and my wishes. He even requested that I make a written list for him; I told him he could do that for himself. Within a week he called me again to go over 'those reasons' again!

At least he thanked me for spending the time talking with him about the issues, most women he had dated would never inform him of their reasons nor speak with him again.
Show ALL Forums