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 Author Thread: Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
 Magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 270 (view)
 
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/13/2011 9:35:43 PM
I am as delusional as the next guy. As to expectations, I have none.

Dating stuff was easier when I was young and stupid. Now, I am no longer young.

Most dating does not result in love and romance. The consequences are more usually aggravation and frustration.

You can still be lucky in love, just not likely so.

Meeting people in person is a little better, in my experience, than Internet dating.

Love is for the young folks. The rest of us are lucky to avoid extinction.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Are we getting over the hill ?
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:36:02 AM
Once you get over the hill,

You can coast for the rest of the ride.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Over 50 and dating again: Tips, Tricks and Traps
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:34:20 AM
If the woman is very nice to me,

I will give her sex.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 125 (view)
 
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:16:41 AM
Don't get hung up on age. It doesn't matter that much.

With the right shoes, anything is possible.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Marriage by Capture
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:06:54 AM
Here we are with this nearly year-old thread, and all you folks are still single.

In the meantime, I read another historical novel about Genghis Khan. (Genghis Khan: Lords of the Bow) When Genghis and the Mongol horde were busy conquering China, they often captured brides, as booty and plunder.

Old Genghis seized a young Chinese girl as wife number two, which made his tall, sturdy, muscular, number one wife quite jealous.

The moral here is that it is probably bad luck to capture more than one wife at a time, unless you are a very fierce warrior.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Judging me by the shoes I'm wearing???
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:50:17 AM
When I really want to make a strong impression, I wear leather knee high boots with 4" stiletto heels. That never fails to work.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 52 (view)
 
My son is a 19 year old virgin..
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:25:35 PM
A friend of a friend has a son who met a girl at a dance, and as a consequence of one night's fun, is now the father of twins. He will be paying for that fun for 16 more years.

I doubt that young man will ever be able to afford to get married, after he is released from jail.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 2427 (view)
 
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:19:33 PM
A lot of guys are not interested in children. I didn't want to have kids of my own, and certainly don't want to be involved with another guy's kids, even if I had strong feelings for the mother.

It would not be fair to a woman who is a single mother, if I completely rejected contact and involvement with her children. So I avoid such situations.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:01:08 PM
With the passage of yet another birthday, it is looking more and more like I will make it to 60, without ever being married. Such is life. I was not convinced that ending bachelorhood would have represented a beneficial change. Then, on the other hand, prospective brides did not line up at my door.

So I wondered if there were many others in the over 45 forum, who are in similar circumstances. How about it. How many are over 45 and never married? And how about over 60?
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dating a Schlemiel
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:37:17 AM
Schlemiel is a Yiddish word for a dolt who is a habitual bungler.

Lots us us are a little bit like that. That includes me, at least occasionally.

The question then, for the fishpool, is:
Would you date a schlemiel?

Or do bunglers deplete your dating desires?

Don't be shy. Share your attitudes and experiences. I am sure there are some funny stories out there.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Would you do it again
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:40:34 PM
Do it again?

Heck, I never did it the first time.

No, I don't think I would do it again. Being single and childfree is better for me.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
My Brother
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:02:26 PM
"What I'd be curious about is...........what woman would be satisfied to be in a long term relationship of 7 yrs where there was no sex?"

She was from South America, if that helps.

But I once had a South American girlfriend, and she was quite affectionate.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Divorced mom at son's wedding
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:47:51 PM
All this drama makes me soooooo glad that I never narried, nor divorced, nor had children.

I'm just happy as a clam that I didn't.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
My Brother
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:42:55 PM
Sorry. I didn't mention that my brother was briefly married about 20 years ago.

Since then, I don't think he has had any "normal," stable relationships, though.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 58 (view)
 
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:30:23 PM
What is every man looking for?

Great sex, and lots of it.

Good cooking will seal the deal.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:24:32 PM
Real shy described my younger persona. Real shy, indeed.

In my twilight years, now, I realize that approaching women is much less dangerous than I used to think. The worst they can do is say no, I have heard no enough times that it doesn't bother me any more.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 179 (view)
 
Age appropriate dress
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:12:25 PM
I don't wear dresses. Only skirts.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
My Brother
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:11:04 PM
My brother is the family intellectual; three graduate degrees and now a university mathematics teacher.

He has difficulties with romantic relationships, though.

In particular, he had one relationship that lasted seven years, including living with his girlfriend.

But the whole time, he insisted that they never were sexually involved.

Assuming he was telling me the truth, what was wrong with that picture?
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 138 (view)
 
Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:55:13 PM
I freely admit not to being a theological expert, but I see a red flag, when a woman is religious.

I my meager life experience, such women are bad news, to be ditched as soon as possible.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 176 (view)
 
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:28:43 PM
I am well over 30, happy to have not yet married, and reluctant to date divorced women, as I would never marry one.

The divorced women are mostly damaged goods, with loads of baggage.

Who needs that?
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Dating and Hidden Secrets
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:25:33 PM
If not hidden secrets, then what, open secrets?

Whatever. Few of the things that people hide are really so terrible. The worst part is usually the fear of being found out. We live in a culture of fear, where people are afraid all the time. We are afraid to be ourselves.

The OP's example was about crossdressing. Crossdressing is a harmless idiosyncrasy, an unusual hobby.

Something like crossdressing can be enough to make some dates bail out. But there are lots of reasons why people bail out. Happens all the time.

Crossdressing can be fun to do, if only for the shock value. But it is also a good way to meet women, or so I have found. Lots of gals think I am very cute in a skirt and heels.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:00:09 AM
Over the millennia, I have experimentally dated women with children. Unfortunately, though, it has never been a good fit.

Maybe that is because I have lived my entire adult life as a committed childfree person.
Or perhaps it was my heartfelt desire to be marriage free.

Life is not about dating and fun. It is about the give and take of everyday life and ordinary, quotidian tasks.

Kids would not fit into my everyday life. So why go looking for a childed woman, if that is not what I want?
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Men in High Heels
Posted: 2/27/2008 11:23:42 PM
Since women can wear any kind of shoes they like, without fear of being called names, men deserve the same opportunity.

I have lots of boots, with up to 5" heels, and like the look. Some folks like trainers, and others prefer heels. What does it matter, if someone enjoys a certain style?

Many women compliment my taste in footwear. So it can't be all bad.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 169 (view)
 
What do you consider a no no on the first date?
Posted: 2/7/2008 8:25:57 PM
Getting married on the first date, is a definite no-no, an absolute definite no-no.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dating a Clergywoman
Posted: 2/7/2008 7:00:03 PM
Dating a Clergywoman did not happen for me, but it almost did.

On two different occasions, I was in E-mailing Christian clergywomen, who were looking for dates on the Internet. It did not progress to dating, but both were interesting people.

This set me to wondering about whether my experience was extremely unusual, or if others here might have e-mailed or dated clerics, who they met on-line.

If so, please tell us about your experience.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 84 (view)
 
All Men are Dogs!!!!
Posted: 2/7/2008 3:30:46 PM
All Men are Dogs!!!!

"Woof! Woof! Snarl! Sniff!"

No way. That just can't be. It is so wrong.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dating and Marriage, and Death
Posted: 2/4/2008 10:09:16 PM
Lots of you folks have been married, I am sure. But I bet you never were married at a mortuary.

Believe it or not, I read a newspaper story today, about a hard luck funeral home in Minneapolis, that was trying to increase revenues.

What did they do? they began offering up the mortuary as a location for wedding receptions.

The mortician in question, and several of his family members, live at the mortuary, to save on housing expenses, I guess.

I always thought that marriage was something that would happen over my dead body.
Here is my chance.

Post mortem marriage is legal in France, or so I have heard.

Does anyone else think that this is just too strange?
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Is this weird old fashioned or okay?
Posted: 2/2/2008 10:51:23 AM
"free to explore the full rage of life's offerings "

That's a good one.

To that one, I would add that, although never married, I do enjoy a good honeymoon, once in a while.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
In-law problems - with our adult kids!
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:15:38 AM
Holy cow!

Finally, I am old enough that few of my dates have living parents.

And now I have to worry what her kids (if any) might think?

Gosh, it makes me so glad to be childfree!

I prefer childfree women, too.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
what does being a father mean to you
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:05:33 AM
Well up in my 50s now, I made the decision in my early 20s, not to marry nor to have children. At the time, it was a very contrary thing to do. But no one objected, nor pressured me to do otherwise. It seemed the correct choice for me.

I have lived alone for all of my adult life, since university. Never missed having kids.
But for a live-alone bachelor, kids would have been a bad idea.

Doesn't bother me a bit, to be childfree. I enjoy the freedom, and the lack of family responsibility.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:53:16 AM
I chose to be childfree, many decades ago. Made it a permanent decision.

Through the years, I made the occasional mistake of dating women with children at home. Bad choice, that, for me at least.

At this point, I will grudgingly accept grandchildren, if they are far away.

No children in her household, though.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 56 (view)
 
now that you are OLDER/MIDDLE AGED, do you spend less time on grooming?
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:46:56 AM
As a young sprout, I cared little about appearance. My time and attention were consumed mostly by school and work, and more work. I kept in shape with heavy physical exertion. But I was nothing to look at.

Here, on the high side of 50, the women who ignored me for decades, are suddenly paying attention to me.

Maybe it is because I am still a childfree bachelor. Or maybe because I am still breathing. Who knows?

Anyway, I decided to try being a plastic man, (peacock) for what it was worth.

Much higher maintenance, now. Hair salon, nail salon, more clothing purchases, new earrings, makeup, lots and lots of high heels, and trying to learn to dance.

So I am presently doing much more in the way of personal presentation.

My act is controversial, but amusing.

Women are responding to the new me, to a degree that I could not have previously imagined. It is working, and I am having fun.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Is internet dating at middle age like a coloring book?
Posted: 1/28/2008 6:39:45 AM
Is internet dating at middle age like a coloring book?

No. I never use crayons on my dates. Personal lubricant, instead.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Changing Favorite Sexual Positions
Posted: 1/28/2008 6:35:50 AM
The OP wrote:

"As well I am finding my ears (as in listening) in need of stimulation. Is this just me?"

Heck no, it is not just you. My ears need stimulation, too. A little tongue, there, does wonders.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 160 (view)
 
Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 1/28/2008 6:27:09 AM
It is bad enough being stigmatized, for being eternally single. But, it is worse, yet, to be catagorized as consequentially defective in other ways, as well.

In msg. 159, Ms. "I love my shoes," (I love that screen name) stereotypically characterizes long time bachelors as not merely socially awkwark, but conversationally challenged, as well.

Heck, I can't help it, if she has nothing to say to us bachelor guys. But, if I ever pass through Louisville, I will have to have a word with her.

It is a manifestation of singleism, the discrimination against single people, when the formerly married women trumpet our purported inferiority.

There are worse things, than being single. But I try not to talk about it.









 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 82 (view)
 
The WEDDING ---WOULD YOU DO IT YOUR WAY, THE 2ND TIME AROUND
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:00:47 AM
The 2nd time?

I am still trying to avoid getting married for the first time.

The last two times that women asked me to marry them, I had to change my name, address, and phone number.

And I need to learn how to be a master of disguise.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Why are girls so confusing
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:47:20 PM
The problem does not seem to be that girls are so confusing, rather that boys are so easily confused.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 136 (view)
 
dating your step sister
Posted: 1/14/2008 10:40:00 AM
I have an evil step-sister, but we hate each other.

She is 48, never married, a man hater, and childless. So far as I know, she has never had a date with a male.

My suspicion is that she is a lesbian.

I would not date her--- ever.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Attraction from a distance
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:43:00 AM
In my world, anyone more than 25 miles away, is long distance, too far for dating.

Conversations from greater distance are OK, but will never lead to anything.

I had a long crush on the girl across the street, but she would not agree to even a little sex.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Step vs. Biological
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:29:21 AM
I am commited childfree.

Since I did not want children of my own, I am totally uninterested in someone else's kids.

The complex web of children, step children, adoptive children, half-siblings, blended families, ex-spouses, etc., is not for me.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Can a man be too tall to date?
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:13:17 AM
I am 5' 10" in my tallest shoes, and that does not seem to be too tall.

Probably, I could not get any taller, without stilts.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Replacing Partners
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:47:03 PM
It happens to nearly all of us, from time to time.

The relationship we are in collapses. And there we are, single again.

In the past, I have reacted poorly to this situation. I let it get me down, and keep me down, for a long time, sometimes for several years.

After a while, I finally would establish a new relationship, but it was after a long, ugly period of recovery.

None of my past partners was "The One," no matter what I thought at the time. It might take an extended period to find a new partner, but lots of fish in the sea.

By now, I have come to believe in the fungibility (replaceability) of romantic partners.

Do you agree that ex-partners are freely interchangeable with new ones?
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 50 (view)
 
How far is too far on a first date!!
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:26:08 AM
How far is too far?

I once had a woman come all the way from Peru, in South America, for our first date.

But I sent her back.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 102 (view)
 
No Children....Why
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:25:57 PM
I did not have any kids, because I was never married.

I didn't think it was necessary to marry, because I couldn't find a girlfriend.

If I had a girlfriend, she might want to get married or have kids.

And I didn't want to get married or have kids, in the first place.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 213 (view)
 
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 12/31/2007 1:48:10 PM
I was a cereal dater, alternating between shredded wheat and cherios.

The problem was, I just couldn't decide.

Many people are like that.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Inter-faith relationships: Can a couple cross the religious divide?
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:22:15 AM
Religious differences are another reason why I chose not to marry, nor to have children.

If people have strongly held religious beliefs, then a religiously inconmpatible partner could make for difficulties in the relationship.

Mindfull of the challenges, people must make individual decisions about this.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 75 (view)
 
long nails....turn on?
Posted: 12/19/2007 9:23:42 AM
The flip side of this coin, is manicured and polished nails on a man. My (currently) glittery purple acrylic manicure inspires constant compliments from young women. Unfortunately, most of them are too young for me, but that is another story.

To curtail breakage problems, I have to keep my nails at moderate length, though not too short for playful scratching.

Women seem to be turned on by my colorful manicure styles, so I have them professionally maintained, every week, at a nail shop.

Bottom line:

For both men and women, attention to details of grooming and style, catches the attention of the opposite sex.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
getting married not likely
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:27:54 AM
Barnaby57 hit the nail right on the head:
"I know of no one that turns the cover back on the bed at night and says “I sure am glad I don’t have anyone hold tonight”. "

That is the cost of avoiding marriage; the lonely bed of the bachelor. Something I am well acquainted with.

But the attractions of a constant companion, fade before the spector of marital implosion.

I have lived by myself for 33 years. Probably marriage will never come my way. At least, I hope not.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Can a man be too tall to date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 10:19:51 AM
I could only be six feet tall, if I wore 6" heels, but my ability to walk might be impaired.

I do like women who are six feet, though. They are hot!

Only in my dreams.
 magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 437 (view)
 
Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:30:12 AM
I was 30 and not married in 1979. Since then, I have not gotten married. In the future, I plan to not get married. Other than that, I am also childfree, which figures, since I never married.
 
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