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 Author Thread: ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 272 (view)
 
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:46:04 PM
Look into your school systems' programs. Many have a new program which allows the adhd child to get special help and take longer to do work. You have to apply. My son is ADHD and gets good grades and tests very very high. So high he is enrolled in grade seven in a program through college to start ACT, SAT tests etc... He gets lower grades (b"s and an occasional c) as he cannot focus to do homework and Mom is apparently too busy to see it gets done.

They flat out denied our request due to his grades. We wanted to see he achieves his maximum potential but the school feels his grades are good enough and denied the request. Nothing like paying in tens of thousands in taxes and the only service you wish to access they deny. School is about nediocrity at best not striving for the best they can be! So sad.

You may have a shot if kid is in classes and c's & d's. Good luck.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Dating a guy who knew I was a single mother!
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:32:12 AM
I think they call it serial dating. I hear many stories just like this about online dating. It seems many are filling the void with others until the next best thing comes along. It seems they initially "settle" and then when the next one responds who is better looking, has no kids, has more money etc... they bail. I think the whole thing boils down to looks to start and the relationship begins on the wrong foot, with the wrong base. Everyone wants a model type, but thing is are they realistic about keeping them.

I have been through the process of having the model g/f fiance etc... it is alot of work! Everyone hits on them from their boss to the waiter to the car salesmen. Many resist but others find the guy with the cash, Mercedes etc. My point is "the next best thing" mentality seems very prevalent and that people don't seem to be "satisfied" with what they have in a relationship, clothes, house, car or whatever. It's why the divorce rate is 60% in my opinion.

It's kinda like the V8 commercial, you coulda had a blond etc
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/16/2008 10:20:14 PM
My advice: Kick her out. When the baby is born have a paternity test. If it is his assert rights as Father. If not, move on. Why do men and women stay in these abusive relationships. There are so many willing and caring people out there I am told but have not found any myself.

Get away from deceptive, sneaky, lying scumbags and move on would be my frank advice. Harsh, yes. Better off in the long run. If he stays in this relationship he will never trust her and she will never be faithful. The thing is the other guy is probably some loser with who lives with Mommy or another family member.

Why do women always wanna chase the losers? Then they feel disappointed when they bail or their kid ends up with less than adequate upbringing? Baffles me!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)
Posted: 1/13/2008 9:32:43 AM
I agree somewhat with the synopsis and being on the same page as far as expectations and behaviors is key. What I have seen from my son's mom & others I might add, is a jealousy of sorts. Almost like they are pissed that the kid loves and bonds with the Dad unconditionally. It seems many parents put their desire to be the number one parent selfishly above the child' feelings. Can a mom help that a young boy who has gone fishing, played catch, wrestled with and hung out with their Father and had a great time? Nope! It is very natural for a boy to lean towards his Dad and to want to emulate hs mannerisms and behaviors, it just seems Mom sometimes feels "cheated" or "slighted" or underappreciated form what I have seen.

Everyone should be happy the kid is happy and that is the bottom line. Unfortunately ego and selfishness comes into play and that is not what happens!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:25:45 AM
That is exactly what I believe happens. I am not saying I am Saint Daddy, but I can say I have never missed ANYTHING, not a visit, a payment, an event or a hug. My son had his grandma move in and it seems his behavior has since went downhill. He has been in trouble routinely. I have forced myself in further with the school and gotten his teachers to lend him a hand and his grades and behavior did improve. All he ever does is complain to me about his life. Now he made a very decision and he is in HUGE trouble. After 2 days in trouble, all spent with his mom I was informed my son son said it was because of me. The thing that makes me the maddest is I called and wanted to have him come over to discuss the issue. She said and I quote, right in front f him I might add, "He doesn't want to come over because he doesn't want to hear about it!" He is in HUGE trouble and I his father want to discuss this with him and he doesn't want to hear about it? What type of behavior does this endorse?

Gee, we have relatively serene and calm visits, go to movies, dinner, concerts etc and make meories every time he is here. Have I said he is headed down a path that may end at loser road? Yep! I call it like I see it but never have I said he IS a loser.

I have never heard a thing about this before now all of a sudden I am the crap master. I am worn out and I am pulling out!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)
Posted: 1/13/2008 12:25:49 AM
I am going through it now in a HUGE way! All was good. Son got into trouble and now mom is telling him I am to blame for the way he acts and what happened. I guess I must have a HUGE influence in the 2/14 days I get to see him. Man this is tiring me out. I do see why Dad's just walk away now and I have never uttered ANYTHING like that in my life. There is only so much one can take!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
NOW President thinks men have all the power in divorce court
Posted: 1/11/2008 12:27:35 AM
It is attitudes like hers that make people feel the organization is nothing but a radical bunch of crazies with self serving interests. No wonder she says such things, the balance is no where near equal and they have the upper hand. Who would want to call out the imbalance and lose control and leverage.

Obviously she needs to attend a few hearings and get back with reality!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Why do most of the women I meet have dead beat Ex's
Posted: 12/1/2007 4:58:57 PM
It is simple, when the girls are younger and even when they age they seem to like the "bad boys". I was one in High School and college. I fortunately grew up although many of those former "bad boys" I knew are many of the dead beats you all speak of. They do have their Harleys but the kids don't have sheeeeeit!

I saw a post about the 40 yr old "nerdy" guy, I know alot of those guys through work and consulting and they all are more of a man than most of the "bad boys". Geeky they may be, but they do live up to their responsibilities. The funny thing is most of those who are dovorced have the same story, their women end up cheating with a "bad boy". Moved the kids from a stable, healthy environment to a loserville! I may be wrong but it seems many folks today are always looking for the next best thing, never satisfied.

If you want to grow old and be happy and have a decent life you may want to consider a guy you have not considered in the past. People don't change often, so if they deadbeat their present kids imagine they will generally do the same with yours! I do find the talk of us old dudes enlightening and encoraging!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Why do most of the women I meet have dead beat Ex's
Posted: 11/29/2007 7:52:16 PM
I think there are tons or upstanding guys out there they just can't get past the "iron profile screeners" LOL! I truly think a lot of people miss some very good matches by being so stringent on their wishes. I wasted a lot of time that way wanting "everything" when I realized I had never met anyone with everything I was asking for!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
hey dads, when should this stop(ladies chime in too)
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:34:10 PM
I applaud you for making the efforts and taking the time to spend with your kids. I would be of no help here as I have a boy who is 12.

I still occasionally let him sleep in my bed when we have an early morning planned. It is wild, He takes hours to fall alseep in his room and is out in seconds in my bed after calming down!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
is he after your kids?..Odds are he is not
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:36:23 PM
But that family member was a step parent who met the mom and began dating her later to marry! They were wed. The dater could become a "live in".

It is NOT paranoia, it is real and this recent story reiterates that first hand! People Get to know the kid somehow is all I am saying!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 131 (view)
 
MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:37:26 AM
Man you all are brutal on this one! Your own sister did you dirty like that? NOw that must have been some sibling rivalry! I bet the parents are proud of her! What a scumbag.

I wish you luck but like the others said I think men start freaking at about 3 kids depending on their ages. One thing for sure, you won't have to worry about being alone on the holidays for years to come!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
is he after your kids?..Odds are he is not
Posted: 11/10/2007 10:15:01 PM
For those who think this is paranoia, see the story on the 9 yr girl whose step father and friend are now being held in her rape and murder. Sick basturds should be killed if guilty!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 243 (view)
 
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/8/2007 4:45:13 PM
Fish,
I have been trying to convince my ex and her doctor this is the case. I have scoured the web and not come up with any credible diet plan. Do you have any suggestions.

Alos, it is NOT a cop out. My son and I are the same. WE have been tested and our minds are almost twice as active as the norm. We are both very smart and he gets great grades except when he is not made to sit and do his homework forcefully. Mom has thrown in the towel and we get our first D this period. Basically all due to incomplete homework. I need help as she refuses to let him change residences as the big money evaporates. I offered to pay half, but I need money to support tutors/sitters until I get home as well as food, clothes, etc if he moved here. I want him to succeed and having no real influence directly is frustrating!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Why so many Dads not involved in kids life
Posted: 11/4/2007 9:47:01 PM
Mane & a few others are right. The system does suck and is stacked heavily against a man. It still is no reason to walk. I went through much of the hell Mane lists and in the end disarmed the ex by fighting the whole way.

Many would prefer to get on with life or so they think, by throwing the Dad out of the kid's life. That is until trouble ensues, then dad sure becomes the first who is called to straighten it out or to talk to your son! LOL!

Nothing she could do to run me off and that was from the moment the doctor gave my son to me in the delivery room. My goose was cooked from then on! I won't go into all the hell that has happened and some still today that occurs. I relegated myself to a saying in my mind to keep me from reacting to obvious overt attempts to bait me into a fight: It's mind over matter, I don't mind cause she don't matter!

Staying in and fighting is hell and it wears you out and turns you into an old tired fart prematurely but one hug on a Sunday night cures all that! The courts do suck!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Dateline - To Catch a Predator...
Posted: 11/4/2007 3:38:32 PM
Martinin you had a few too many martinins it seems. How in the hell do you expect a man to "stop" this behavior? And generalizing about all men in such a way is truly ignorant. Do you think pervs brag about their desires and conquests with other men over beers? Not hardly, they would hide it for fear of getting an ass kicking or at least discovered. If you read the many teachers exploiting teens of late seem to be female but for some reason the stories don't seem to have the same sting when it is a female teacher and male kid as they do when a male teacher and female student. There isn't a straight man in the world who would not act to deter these crimes if they knew of them. These pervs know that and keep their sickness to themselves. You are way out of line!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Dateline - To Catch a Predator...
Posted: 11/4/2007 3:30:43 PM
Exactly why my son cannot have a myspace page or go into chat rooms or even be on the computer unsupervised. I could not forgive myself. I think the lure and desire to be loved catches a number of people off guard especially teens who may not be popular in their own schools. It is truly very scary and our rules make my son very angry. Hopefully he will undersatnd later in life.

It just makes me sick to even think someone grown could even look at children and see them as attractive or see them in a sexual way! It disgusts me and I too am in the camp that these people should be more harshly dealth with. It seems they are turned loose on the streets to prey again on innocent children.

Put ankle bracelets on them and let watchdog organizations track them if there are lack of funds to keep them in check!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why so many Dads not involved in kids life
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:37:55 PM
What I see...Women could care less about a guy's responsibility to his kids from a previous time in their life. If they are "hot" they overlook the faults. I think they believe it is easier without the "baggage". I have seen it many times over and heard it in conversations at work. It blows me away being single and hearing character means nothing in many cases. Then the same ladies are talking about the loser having left for another woman right after she was found to be preganant and they act like it is a suprise.

Personally I used to be into the cheerleaders, homecoming queen and the likes and I learned that looks are secondary to the kindness and the character of someone. Would I still feel this way if I was still young and svelte? Probably not as I was young and dumb and passed on manmy ladies with "kids" who probably would have been much better mates!

Guys who walk on on an innocent child and leave them wanting and feeling rejection are the bottom of the barrell ladies. They are scum no matter what the situation and who tries to justify their actions. I do understand if they are abusive or addicted and choose to "fix" themselves rather than harm the kid, but they should understand how important a part we play in a child's life.

Deadbeat parents make deadbeat mates. Figure it out everyone. No justification for people who walk away from an innocent child at all and those who condone ot or endorse it by overlooking it are partly responsible!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
My 13 yr old son, found out his dad is cheating with the married nieghbor, NEED ADVICE!!
Posted: 10/6/2007 4:45:24 AM
Man it is terrifying to me what kids go through today. From bullies, to bad teachers, bad coaches and a world gone crazy.

First the child is a reflection of both of you, but in no way should He ever feel guilt for his father's behavior. I hope that you see to that and explain to him people make choices, many bad choices. Chrisitian or not displaying that level of disrespect for the institutions of family and marriage is only going to damage the boy when down so outward. Why can't parents control themselves for the sake of the kids any more. Everyone is so selfish.

Being raised as a Catholic in a private school I must say it made me even more conflicted when I saw contradictions to what I was being taught. In addition, it puts enormous amounts of guilt on one when they do something wrong no matter how little. Our priests would stand in front of the church as they do saying behave, blah blah and then they would come to our house for a block party and get hammered and smoke cigars or cigarettes. I was confused man!

He may have turned against you because us dumb humans always seem to take things out and hurt those we love. He was lashing out maybe because he was angry that you couldn't stop all these things from going down, even though he doesn't expect you to and knows you can't.

I hope it all shapes up for you. I was sik when I read about the note! Good Luck to you and your son. I hope he becomes a very respectful and understanding man after his experiences.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 1246 (view)
 
Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:38:38 PM
Wow now that is as about as harsh as I have seen!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Why is it so hard to meet someone decent??
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:31:15 PM
if you were a few years older I would have said you are in luck!LOL!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 1242 (view)
 
Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:29:24 PM
Around where I work and live it isn't the throwbacks dating the white women. They are the ones who drive the BMW's, lawyers, football players etc. Many evry refined so there is a hole in the throwback theory.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Isnt it hard enough without the b*tchy comments?
Posted: 7/15/2007 8:41:24 PM
I guess they were perfect children as are their kids. Screw ignorant people. She was probably a mom who resorted to physical violence on her child. They are probably alienated from her sour attitude at thi point as well. So people just suck. Know that and keep your class and dignity when faced with such morons! You set the example for your child. Going off or acting as she did would have been detrimental. She also probably had her kids when 18, just an older bitter lady probably jealous of your thin body after a kid or for some other reason. Laugh at those idiots.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 1205 (view)
 
Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 7/15/2007 8:36:46 PM
Wow! One sweet guy the ladies may question that handle! LOL! As for fat beligerent males in the 40's I believe the folks from America were lean and mean enough to stave off a beligerent attack by the Japanese.

I guess you are referencing your canadian ladies in North American as well. From the pics I have seen on here it looks as if there are plenty of thin nice looking women there. Too bad a number of them aren't here. It seems every profile I look at where I have an interest from a post, she seems to be Canadian. You may want to look closer.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 1202 (view)
 
Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:14:09 PM
I don't know why it is such a big deal. Blacks date whites, Blacks date asians, Whites date Indians, Mexicans date whites, Argentenians date brazilians and so on...who cares man! This is an ever changing world and I do not understand why we all worry so much about everyone else.

Asian, Hawaiian, Korean, Polynseian, Easterm Rim women offer a whole different choice for everyone. As for me their beauty and drive is a contributing factor. And anyone who thinks these ladies are all submissive obviously has not encountered too many of the different cultures. Are they more orderly, structured and respectful not making "scenes" I'd say generally speaking yes, but I personally have not met every one of them and to generalize would be an error.

I wish there were more available single beauties like these around here. I am jealous of the Californians!

Talista I just saw your post above mine and that is just hilarious!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
What Happens When You Are 30+ and Single
Posted: 7/14/2007 12:51:57 PM
Hey I can't help I am an old fart at 42 and still like the looks of the younger women. I happen to like them across the spectrum. Do I hit on em? Never! Do I enjoy them, who doesn't.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
The plight of single fathers.....
Posted: 7/11/2007 8:41:46 PM
Yeah Crane I know those looks. Screw those people, they are probably next in line to be seeing the judge and just don't know it. I enjoy my time with my boy although relegated to part time money cougher upper in the oh so biased courts in the great state of Maryland. Only place discrimination is still allowed, Father in the courts fighting for custody for the children. The courts see us as the money man and mom as the nurturer, Load of crap and way out of line in 2007. Men have changed and deserve an equal crak at the job!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How Do I Explain to Her Where Daddy Is (and Why He's There?)
Posted: 6/20/2007 6:29:02 PM
I'd see a judge in the North. A Damn Yankee! He made his choice. Why should she pay the price?

Not to be negative but I read stories like this and I hear of abuse, cheating, neglect etc and I fel like Prince charming and wonder how the hell guys like this go from woman to woman while I continue to search. Maybe I am too picky but man these stories just make me thank God for who I am and the choices I ahve been blessed with making! Good Luck!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Subsidized housing and welfare
Posted: 6/6/2007 9:58:58 PM
Riley they are cheating you as well. Look at your paycheck.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Subsidized housing and welfare
Posted: 6/6/2007 5:23:08 PM
Turn em in to the DSS!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Turning The Kids Over,Do We Ever Get Used To It?
Posted: 6/4/2007 8:59:39 PM
Iam,
I know what ya mean about selfish desires. I went trhough the same thing. I also see it unfold before my eyes everyday working in a place with a majority of women. The married guys practically stalk them into an affair. It truly saddens me as I lose even more faith in humanity. Also, I ask the same as you WHY? The answer is always God wouldn't give you more than you can handle. My answer, I am 42 man, I am tiring of being tested daily! LOL!

I say I would love for the planets to line up one day for me. Maybe my job, my personal life and my son's life will all be good at once. I keep asking for say a 5-10 year stretch without any MAJOR happenings which seem to be every 3 months! I think the first 42 years have had enough challenges at least from my point of view! LOL!

Keep your chin up and know you are the kids' example. I cannot portay negativity nor can I accept failure or even stop trying for a minute. Too much rides on it! Keep that in mind and know that real men do have emotions and love, deep love is better than any. LIke they say though with deep love always comes deep pain. And damn if that isn't true. Fight the good fight. For you canadians Triumph is a canadian rock band from the 80's. Get a chance listen to the Song "Fight the Good Fight" and it all will be clear! It is very inspiring and quite relevant in the daily grind of life! I say keep on cause it is better than the alternative! LOL!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Turning The Kids Over,Do We Ever Get Used To It?
Posted: 6/3/2007 9:18:18 PM
Man I been doing it for 11 years and yes I still get teary eyed especially if he is having problems at home with Mom and doesn't want to go. It crushes me all of the time and events I missed in his life from first words, to walking to talking to his girlfriend on the phone! I agree the big man didn't intend for this, but the more liberal the society and courts get the more of this we will see. Society freaks me out. People changes wives like girlfriends in high school. I certainly think I was born in the wrong era. I would have liked it better the old way. Hang in there man! I know exactly how it all feels and there is NOTHING good about it, even if they were being a little sheeeittt the entire weekend it still sucks!

If I could ever find a woman to love like I do my son and her back that would be a miracle!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Teachers and their abuse of power
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:57:48 PM
If they are getting an "A" rating I am sure they cannot be told a thing. They get egos when they have students who do well and they sooner or later fall from grace as you cannot generally stay at the top forever. I am appalled frankly at some of the things allowed to go on in schools.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Teachers and their abuse of power
Posted: 5/29/2007 7:23:10 PM
I applaud you and your admin's efforts. It is however a rare story in most cases. The good that comes from equal treatment is vast and it serves as a great lesson to the children.

For Jeff, I did not say the schools are corrupt, just mismanaged as evidenced in a testament here by the teacher with real life experience. If they were companies they would be bankrupt with exception of a few examples such as NYC. Since you are on the subject of corruption see Baltimore County Schools, DC Schools, Fairfax County Va schools. All have had enoromous scandals involving theft of funds, cheating the very kids who need it most out of a proper educational experience.

Also the lasyt I checked it was 3 meals a day for kids at a minimum. They may be recieving the proper nutrition in the meals but the portions served I am certain hardly replicate that they would get if the parents were not impoverished. The problem is being addressed in the schools sytems to a degree but the 2 meals a day they get if they make it to school and they eat them both they are hardly enough to fuel a kid for the entire day from morning to night. A great step but much more needs to be done. A hungry undernourished child will have a difficult time learning, that is a proven fact.

In addition, a recent multiple suspension at my son's son school got everyone but the High Dollar kids who were right in the middle of all the action. How do I know? I asked them when they were with my son and they laughed and freely admitted participation. They also understood the difference in treatment. All they did was call my dad at work! HA HA! So it IS very real.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Teachers and their abuse of power
Posted: 5/29/2007 6:25:35 PM
Well I am glad you and your kids don't suffer from going hungry. You must have your head in the clouds. This is a real problem and if more people were aware of it, maybe it wouldn't be. I have gone to bed hungry in tough times in my family and aid is not quiite as simple to obtain as you have described. The bureaucracy makes certain of that. This is a real problem ask your local congresswoman or someone in the school systems. Many don't have proper nutrition or clothing to wear. You seem insensitive and very ignorant to reality man.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Teachers and their abuse of power
Posted: 5/29/2007 6:17:44 PM
I base them on experience. I discern if a kid comes to school dressed in the latest fashion in a Mercedes with their dad being the Chief of Staff at the Hospital etc etc etc President of the Local Factory etc etc. It is not hard to draw the conclusions. If you don't see the kid being taken into the office from the bathroom where other kids were all caught smoking and they are suspended and the others are set free to brag, it's pretty easy to tell. I have watched it generation after generation. It happens still at my son's school as recently as 3 weeks ago. So naysay on another thread, or you probably do that already.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Teachers and their abuse of power
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:19:03 PM
I watched this through years of living in a community where there were haves and have nots. The rich kids caught smoking, no suspension, caught drinking, no suspension and on and on. No show to class, no docking of grades. They recieved every award an scholarship available, like they needed it! LOL! The allure of wealth and its spoils influences many of lives. I certainly only draw my conclusions on experience. I also see many underpriveleged kids who struggle with having enough to eat which effects their ability to learn and so on, be pushed aside as not worth helping. Never have I seen an affluent kid pushed aside, Never. Our society is ruled by money. I have friends who mentor and tell me stories that would make you angry. I also see the results of our system on the poor shackling more and more youth to the welfare system through lack of outreach and support.

If the teachers don't step in and champion a kid, and they veer off course, the results can have an impact on their lives forever. Yes, the job of parenting starts at home but let's be real a large number of the kids today do not have a stable environment to lean on. No one pushing them or motivating them. No real support. Some overcome this but I believe the system is failing when the rates of welfare kids, drop outs and less educated children are rising. That is where I draw my conclusion.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Teachers and their abuse of power
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:30:59 PM
It can be backed up. Look at the national test scores state by state. Satrt in California. Also, look at the colleges and large companies crying for visas for engineers and scientists because our educational system is not producing sufficient numbers in these areas. Inner city schools are basically a war zone and the schools here are so overcrowded many use a number of trailers to house children for lessons. The private schools are obviously exempt from the statement but the public school system is in severe disarray nationawide. I believe NEw York also has a model program with its magnet schools as well. Here the scores keep going down every year. Teachers are paid less the secretaries in many regions of the USA, that alone is a travesty.

Many of these folks who teach are devout public servants and sub parents of the kids they attempt to school. They are given less than adequate supplies and tools and many end up purchasing things from their own pocket. Although the salaries are increasing, they still need a lot of improvement. The transient populations in my county and around the DC & Baltimore area are taxing the system like never before, again California has done studies in this area as well. I will look for some Dept of Ed studies and post some links when I have time. I work in the government system and specialize in Medicaid as one of my domains. Here the evidence is very clear we are failing our children!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Teachers and their abuse of power
Posted: 5/27/2007 11:03:54 PM
The whole education system is out of control and deteriorating every day here in America. Teachers label kids and they are treated accordingly. One bad rap can influence a child's entire life. They can be excluded from extra help, reccomendation letters, financial aid & scholarships you name it. Now if the kids daddy is affluent and extends any type of consideration to the Superintendent be certain that kid will skate through the doors no matter what! Sad!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Child or Partner??
Posted: 5/27/2007 10:55:00 PM
Kick that selfish beyotttch to the curb and find another who respects you and your obligations. One who loves you would never exclude your child. Give him a swift boot in the ass. You aren't alone you have your son and he should be your first concern. Imagine how he feels when excluded. I wonder if he has ill feelings since he certainly understands who is excluding him. This will be very damaging if left to go on.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Still send?
Posted: 5/27/2007 10:52:00 PM
I agree with the steps you have taken. Be careful in e,ails not to be "harassing", just matter of fact. It is sad how damn selfish adults are when it comes to kids feelings. I mean does it really take that much effort to make a kid feel better? The whole world is losing respect, common courtesy and kindness. Don't be suprised these kids get jaded by all the harshness dealt out by people on a daily basis. It used to be uncommon to deal with it. Now it is generally multiple times daily. A simple drive around town will prove this. Keep teaching the kids to do the right thing. Maybe if enough of us do it will have an impact for their kids, although it looks like the nasty, greedy "It's my world and you are just in it" people are winning. Sad! Keep your chin up and she will know when she was older that you were biting the bullet and reaching out to make her situation better. She will respect you greatly for that. ALso if your actions are any indication of your daily influence on her, she already respects you greatly! Keep up the good work and as I always say "Fight the Good Fight! A song all you Canadians out there should know from your very own band Triumph! Listen to it if you get a chance and you will understand why I use it as my motivation in every day living!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
wow iam shocked
Posted: 5/27/2007 6:54:41 PM
It seems people looking for dates would mind their manners. I agree with you some folks get a bit harsh in their replies but just remember take the good with the bad. I have a saying for people I don't know or don't care for that helps me not let little things like a sour attitude bother me. "It's mind over matter! I don't mind because they don't matter!" Try it it works. And if you know it's you and it has not been spelled out I would guess one would already know their attitude and demeanor is already abrasive as many have probably obviously reacted to it negatively in all arenas of life such as in person or on the net!

A little positive encouragement never hurt anyone and it certainly makes one's environment more pleasureable.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
SingleMoms being stereotyped.........
Posted: 5/26/2007 7:43:18 PM
alura,
You would be stereotyoing and thinking I am one of those losers. I suggest you get a grip, and I certainly think I am the better parent by far. I am quite the opposite of a loser and I would bet most of the guys who even care enough to show up for the visitation routinely are the same. It's the pieces of sheeeeeeeittt that beat women, verbally abuse them, show up for the kids when they feel it is convenient that jades all you ladies. Hell if you would open you eyes and your mind your obvious bitterness and attitude may have a chance to change. Men think women with crap attitudes are like the plague. Generally because they left someone who had the same attitude. Sometimes one must look at themselves and se if maybe they are "projecting" their own faults and attitudes onto others. Inner reflection and se;f evaluation is crucial. I used to walk around and see single dads wth their kids at mcdonalds and who the "****" he used to be married to had an affair with etc. My piss poor view and attitude was alienating me until I realized not everyone who divorced hated each other nor were cheated on and cheated on with some ugly dude no less! LOL! I had to really take a look and finally got over it all and I feel better and happier than I have in years.

Single dads who step up are becoming far more common these days. It is the court's attitude towards the man that causes all of this nonsense. It should be EQUAL not just presumed Mon is best. I observe many cases of the opposite! I think we all may find someone if we step back and try to readjust our attitudes and not think every person out there wil do the same as your ex.

IMTHIKIN a very good post and sums up my thoughts and feelings very well. Thanks for saying it for me. I agree a single person w/out kids will generally NEVER understand the full committment and dedication both emotionally and financially a parent has to their child. Some may! I know my greatest love even though my son son seems to try and routinely test my stance! LOL!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Should the Ex have input on my career/job choice??
Posted: 5/19/2007 7:22:24 AM
Nope. He lost that right when he became Ex! Now for the marketing, be careful and be sure this is for real. I see these scams all the time here in the USA. Don't give up a good job until you are certain it isn't a multi level marketing scam. Good Luck!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Single men with no children who want to only date women with kids...scare me!!!!
Posted: 5/18/2007 11:23:28 AM
Good lord hawk you should turn this sicko in. I would also email his profile to the webmasters for deletion or at least review man. Everyone should know who this freakazoid is so they too can watch out. I would also say I would not post a single picture of my kid on any dating site, that is just a personal opinion. Damn I am sick to my stomach here. I just cannot believe anyone would even ask such a thing. God help this evil, twisted, sick world!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Single men with no children who want to only date women with kids...scare me!!!!
Posted: 5/18/2007 11:19:00 AM
It's quite easy if you date someone without kids. Have a talk with your child and set the rules that they NEVER are to be with the other without you. I would NEVER let my kid outta my sight nor be alone with someone else I didn't know. I would also look and see if the man is overly huggy, touchy, kissy after he gets to know them. I would establish ground rules that there are no hugs/kisses until after a couple of years. I still then would be careful.

I fully understand the women being "freaked" out by guys like this. I do however agree that most women with kids have matured a bit more and have their priorities in line, generally speaking anyways. There are still the nutty psycho drunken club moms I have met and just shake my head. They can't figure out why a guy is interested in them after they tell you they are mom and are drunk off their a*** in the bar every other weekend.

In this society these sickos unfortunately exist. I too would be out of my mind if I had a daughter as these freaks seem to be more of the male gender. I am very glad I have a son and thank the good lord every day. Otherwise, I probably would have surveillance cameras, shotguns, and items of torture in my basement. i could not have handled it and I think that is why the good lord saw fit to deliver a boy, who is a handful by himself.
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Has Your Children's Father/Mother Ever Suprised You (Nicely)?
Posted: 5/18/2007 4:05:40 AM
Kelo,
Glad to hear you and yours are some of the luckier ones. I hope we get there someday!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Has Your Children's Father/Mother Ever Suprised You (Nicely)?
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:49:55 PM
I have checked around and they have all pretty much said while it was reactionary and very unsettling that this would not be classsified as grounds to remove the child from her home. Fragin sad isn't it. I did call 3 attorneys, the one I spoke to already made $42K off my last try to gain custody. He said "I'll take your money but it would be stealing, as you have NO chance, just like last time" I guess she has to try and run him over in the car before anyone will do anything. How damn frustrating is all of this? I will say today is the first time I have gotten pissed off about minutia. I sent a fax three times and it didn't go through and I was cussing up a storm! LOL! Glad he wasn't here! LOL! Amazing how this crap gets to you!

Thanks for all of thoughts and ideas.

Wanna know the worst thing, I shouldn't even say it but I am on my 6th interview for a job in Florida. It is a MONSTER job and could set he & I up for life. I want to try and pursue the whole custody thing if I leave the state. SHHH!

Cmon ladies I need to find a lady FAST so I can show the courts I have alternatives! LOL! Show is what it would be but hey. LOL!
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Has Your Children's Father/Mother Ever Suprised You (Nicely)?
Posted: 5/16/2007 6:37:05 AM
Crane,
I had to let her have him or I could have been arrested. Keeping the child past visitation against the mother's will and beyond the stated hours/days in the court order is viewed as kidnapping here. I also did not want my son caught in the tug of war as he is already struggling enough. Frankly, I had no idea what to do. I still don't know what to do. I looked for a home in their area but as I said before she swore he was graduating from the high school in the town I moved to. I thought being in the same town opened up our options and allowed me more time with him to assist in homework and discipline issues items which she is truly lax in. Now I have a huge house with no kid. Have to sell it which is now a down markwt, incur the costs etc...The costs here a HUGE a 5% commision, a 1% transfer tax, closing costs in the thousands etc... Also have to get a buyer if possible as they are waiting out people who sell. Many have caved selling their homes for 50-75K less than last year would have brought. Financially I cannot afford to eat all of those costs frankly. Then the issue is the cost in their area is even higher than here!

She basically caught me in a trap and knew it. I was once again the naive trusting man who only wanted the best for my kid. I did speak to a lawyer this morning and he basically stated emergency hearings are only granted by the courts in SERIOUS cases. I asked did he not classify the issues we were having as serious? He said only absolute neglect or abuse or endangerment would be viewed as reasons for emergency hearings. He would however be glad to file custody papers with a retainer fee of $7,500! Then goes on to say he admits it would be a VERY long shot that I would win! Does anybody know how to beat this crappy system before it is too late?
 singlemaninmd
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How do I find out about this guy?
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:32:17 PM
I am that single guy in a family neighborhood. Why? A beautiful home with a pool and lots of space. It is me and my dog and occasionally my son! I love the quiet and frankly I love little kids noisy or not. I love their free spirit and watching them grow up and mature from a distance. Some single guys like peace and quiet as well. People are entirely too paranoid in my opinion. Open your minds. Now if he is a registered offender, I would immediately have "the talk" with my kids, spruce the house and have it on the market. Never can tell, he may be a great guy!
 
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