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 Author Thread: Girlie Wisdom
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Girlie Wisdom
Posted: 10/15/2007 5:51:31 PM
Girlie Wisdom

I have read these before but they make me giggle so I apologise if you
have read them already!


Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and
forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a
woman gain 5lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't
know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then,
your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain
consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together
and setting fire to my knickers.

Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a
hamstring.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks
2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things
like..."You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" ......Now... I've
forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have
never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to
forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...
She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other
day after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock
lass of vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said "Listen
witch.....do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about
nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are:
eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding?
That's my idea of a perfect day!
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 10/15/2007 5:42:22 PM
Private Medical Cover

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital when
during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was
masturbating
furiously. "Oh my G0D!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why
is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry
that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where
his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5
times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture "Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was
obvious that a nurse was performing oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed,
"Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?" Again the doctor spoke very
calmly,
Same illness, but he's with Bupa"
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 592 (view)
 
Walking on the sand
Posted: 10/15/2007 5:35:15 PM
This is me at the moment .....
Aw well there's always tomorrow....

Walking on the Sand

She walks in the morning,
On the golden sand,
A figure alone,
Dog lead in her hand.

What thoughts is she thinking,
Deep down inside,
As she walks on the sand,
Freshly wet by the tide?

Is she day dreaming,
Of days long ago?
When her days spent were happy.
Does her sorrow show?

Maybe wishing and hoping,
Longing for things out of her reach.
As this sweet lady walks alone,
On that deserted beach.

Is she wishing that someone,
Was there by her side?
On her face is a teardrop,
That she cannot hide.

Just what's in her future?
What has fate got in store?
As that lovely lady,
Walks home lonely once more........
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 591 (view)
 
Whysprs World and Friends Forum
Posted: 10/15/2007 5:28:40 PM
IF ONLY WE BELIEVE

To believe is to know that everyday is a new begining...
It is to trust that miracles happen and dreams really do come true....
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds...
To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart..
The innocence of a childs eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, for
it is through their teachings we learn to love..
To believe is to find the strenght and courage that lies within us,
when it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again....
To believe is to know we are not alone, That life is a gift and
this is our time to cherish it.....
To believe is to know that wounderful surprises are waiting to
happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within our reach...
To believe there is always someone out there to love you.....
If Only We Believed
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 567 (view)
 
I'm sat on this shelf !
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:48:07 PM
I'm sat on this shelf,
And I often think why,
Do all the nice people,
Seem to pass me by.

I know that my colour,
Maybe a little dark,
But why not take me,
For a walk to the park.

You could sit on a bench,
With me on your knee,
And you can take hold,
Quite tightly of me.

Let your slender fingers,
Caress me with care,
While your eyes they kind of,
Give me a sweet stare.

Oh why don't you just,
Reach out your hand,
I'm ever so easy,
I hope you understand.

So you best make your move,
Before its too late,
This could be your last chance,
To be my new date.

Oh, don't just walk on past,
Without a second glance,
I'm full of adventure,
And love and romance.

Just give me a try,
Come and have a good look,
I will not bite you,
For I'm only a book
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Why is it so cheap !
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:41:17 PM
Subject: Why's it so cheap?


'Why is it so cheap?' the woman asks, in the Pet shop.

'Well', replies the assistant, 'it used to live in a brothel and as a result
its language is a touch flowery'.

'Oh, I don't mind that', said the woman, making her mind up, 'I'm broad
minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot'.
So saying, she buys
the parrot and takes him home.


Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around
and squawks at the woman.

'F===! .... me, a new brothel and a new madam'.
'I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel,' scolds the woman trying not to
laugh.


A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

'Un-f===king-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new
prostitutes,' says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

'Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes,'
complain the
girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.


A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home.

'In-f==king-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes,
but the
same old clients ....


How ya doin', Dave?'
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 493 (view)
 
Morris and his wife.
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:38:49 PM
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year,and every year Morris would say Esther,
I'd like to ride in that helicopter......
Esther always replied ,' I know Morris,but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars,and 50 dollars is 50 dollars,........
One year, esther and Morris went to the fair,and Morris said 'Esther,I'm 85 years old, If I dont ride in that Helicopter,I might never get another chance.......
Esther replied I know , but the ride is still 50 dollars, and 50dollars is 50 dollars......
The Pilot over heard the couple and said,'Folks..I'll Make you a deal.. I'll take both of you for a ride,If you can stay quiet,for the entire ride and not say a word,I wont charge you a penny, but if you say one word its 50 dollars......Ok.....
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.....He did his Dare-devil tricks over and over again...but still not a word......
the pilot carried on and on doing his tricks,and still not a word.....
When they landed,the pilot turned to morris and said BY GOLLY I did everything I could to get you to yell but you didn't ,Im Impressed.......
Morris replied 'well I was going to say something when Esther fell out, but 50dollars is 50 dollars
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 492 (view)
 
BLACK TESTICLES
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:33:17 PM
BLACK TESTICLES


A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over
his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial
sponge bath.
Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to
wash your upper body and feet.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the
covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says, There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very
closely......

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
First time...
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:30:39 PM
It was my first time ever,
And I'll never forget.
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark,
The moon was high,
We were all alone:
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft,
Her eyes were blue,
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft,
Her legs so fine,
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best,
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear,
My fast beating heart,
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it,
I felt no shame;
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished,
It's all over now.
My first time ever
At milking a cow...

And what were you thinking tut tut
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Old jokes that still make me laugh - What's your's?
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:27:10 PM
A LITTLE FUNNY

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest
of
me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best
toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the
street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said,
"John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you,
Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You
know,
he's only been there twice in the last four years.
Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears
to make him come
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
LEEDS 21st SEPTEMBER FRIDAY NIGHT 70'S NIGHT @ FLARES EVIDENCE
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:14:16 AM
Hi Gals
God i have a hangover told steve not to let me drink so much, i think its the wine there

Savina my feet are killing me again gal so your not on your own hun

God im dreading the pictures again

Good seeing you dizzy and beefy, so what time did you get home then dizzy
You dirty stop out, you party animal you

Another good meet Gals

I'm off back to bed

Take care all Lesxxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 126 (view)
 
LEEDS SEPTEMBER FRIDAY NIGHT 70'S NIGHT @ FLARES
Posted: 9/14/2007 3:43:28 AM
Aww Ian i didnt know you cared

Shame that you will be missing a good night, its great at Flares....

But enjoy your diving anyway ....

Bye for now Dimila
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 74 (view)
 
LEEDS SEPTEMBER FRIDAY NIGHT 70'S NIGHT @ FLARES
Posted: 9/5/2007 3:25:28 PM
Oops an update ...wont be coming with Rog now..

Single again girls, so i will be coming with my best buddy Steve

So that will make Dizzy happy ...Drinks on you hun

Cant wait to see you all again.
I feel another hangover coming on
I have put it on my profile about the meet and told the guys to come and have a look ...
See you there all
Dimila xxxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
The sheep joke !
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:52:40 PM
Well here's a funny one for you!
Hope you dont mind ....

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
LEEDS SEPTEMBER FRIDAY NIGHT 70'S NIGHT @ FLARES
Posted: 9/2/2007 9:56:50 AM
Hi Dizzy and the gang
Yep Roger and i will be there, we met at the meet at Hadden Hall in july.....
Cant wait the last one was great at Flares.....
But i do remember having a hangover and sore feet tho
I dont think i will be dressing up this time tho .... it will be flares and a top ......
Looking forward to seeing you all again
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Strength from within
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:11:49 PM
Cheers pink ....
Yes mine was 6/7yrs ago too most forgotten ...
Life goes on hey !

Take care Dimila
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Add a poem or review one.
Posted: 8/17/2007 7:35:23 AM
I dont feel i can comment on your work as it is personal to you as mine is to me, i didnt write it for others you see, so it doesnt really matter what others think of my poems i am no poet...i just write about things in my life at one given time ...
Hope you dont mind if i dont comment ?
I just enjoy reading and writing them when i feel like it ....

Here is another i wrote last year...i do cheat too , i get ideas from others ....

I want to be your companion and walk hand in hand, your strength enveloping mine. Autumn leaves falling, scuffing feet and laughter, sharing nights, not finished by the dark.
I want to be your confidant as you pen your deepest thoughts, as your heartaches bleed and finally break free. Your dreams, I keep as if my own. I want to smile as you smile and giggle with you at nothing at all.
I want to be your lover and find the passions that move you to action. I want to be the softness that induces you to trust. I want to be the naughty that makes you come back for more. I want to please you more and more.
I want to share your breakfast and your dinner, I want you in the shower and in your bed and with soft steps to bring you coffee. Your strong arms, the legs that power your thrust, your lips of pleasure, these are the fuel of my desire
no it is no secret, my love, and to put it very simply, I want you now and for ever ...
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
romantic or mushy?
Posted: 8/16/2007 12:03:06 PM
Tyke i would have loved a cactus, just as good as flowers, its the thought that is behind it that counts anyway ...
Dimila x
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Strength from within
Posted: 8/16/2007 11:58:17 AM
I was the same as you Pink as you say its what is left inside that
is the hardest thing to heal ...
But 6yrs on and i have had my share of fail relationships, used and abused by some , but there is light at the end of the tunnel believe me...
I have met a lovely guy fron POF at one of the meets in Leeds and things are going good we are taking it slowly and he is a perfect gent ....
So life does get better, you have to allow it in,then the scars will heal...
All the best pink
Dimila
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Strength from within
Posted: 8/16/2007 11:50:02 AM
Good one pink !

THE HEART


We all know the heart is a lovely machine
It is one of the few that is never seen
It gives one life, love and joy
Although some people treat it like a toy

When you are in love the heart is purring
The veins are hard and hope is stirring
Nothing in the world can beat the feeling
For love is the one thing to set you reeling

How do you mend a heart that is broken
When people say—“sorry” --it is just a token
Love goes away and wilts like a rose
The feeling inside---------nobody knows

At the end of the day the feeling is bad
Never to have felt oh so sad
You try and pick yourself up from the floor
Promising yourself--- it will happen no more

When love is lost and the joy has gone
What do you do to make life go on
The pain and heartache is more than you can bear
Is there someone out there who will really care?
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
IFONLY WE BELIEVE..
Posted: 8/16/2007 11:48:08 AM
THE HEART


We all know the heart is a lovely machine
It is one of the few that is never seen
It gives one life, love and joy
Although some people treat it like a toy

When you are in love the heart is purring
The veins are hard and hope is stirring
Nothing in the world can beat the feeling
For love is the one thing to set you reeling

How do you mend a heart that is broken
When people say—“sorry” --it is just a token
Love goes away and wilts like a rose
The feeling inside---------nobody knows

At the end of the day the feeling is bad
Never to have felt oh so sad
You try and pick yourself up from the floor
Promising yourself--- it will happen no more

When love is lost and the joy has gone
What do you do to make life go on
The pain and heartache is more than you can bear
Is there someone out there who will really care?
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
IFONLY WE BELIEVE..
Posted: 8/16/2007 11:35:11 AM
Hi biggie,

IF ONLY WE BELIEVE

To believe is to know that everyday is a new begining...
It is to trust that miracles happen and dreams really do come true....
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds...
To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart..
The innocence of a childs eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, for it is through their teachings we learn to love..
To believe is to find the strenght and courage that lies within us, when it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again....
To believe is to know we are not alone, That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.....
To believe is to know that wounderful surprises are waiting to happen, And all our hopes and dreams are within our reach...
To believe there is always someone out there to love you.....
If Only We Believed
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
romantic or mushy?
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:37:28 AM
Romance is a wounderfull thing, it shows people you care about them..

You have made the effort to put pen to paper and say what you are feeling..
Now how can that be wrong...

As for chocolate bring them on

Flowers occasionally is so nice, i mean a guy buying flowers some might say is not matcho, well i think its a beautiful thought ...

Little notes placed around your home saying "i love you" awwwwwwwww

Wow now all that put together is romantic guys ....

And yes i am a born romantic and proud of it

Dimilax
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Three Nuns......
Posted: 8/3/2007 4:14:13 AM
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - ****
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Three Nuns......
Posted: 8/3/2007 4:10:16 AM
Sorry they seem to be long ones

The First Sensible Chain E-mail..... from Billy Connolly.

>>Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding
>>50
>>billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people
>>who actually believe if you send them on, a poor six year old girl
>>in
>>Scotland with a breast on her forehead
will be able to
>>raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents
>>sell her to
>>a traveling freak show.
>>
>>And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you,
>>and
>>everyone to whom you send "his" email, a $1000?
>>How stupid are we?
>>
>>Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
>>get
>>laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!
>>What a bunch of bullshit.
>>
>>Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
>>sodomize
>>me in my sleep for not continuing a
>>chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to
>>this country
>>by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.
>>****
'em!!
>>
>>If you're going to forward something at least send me something
>>mildly
>>amusing. I've seen all the "send this to
>>10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a
>>human being
>>will somehow receive a nickel from some
>>omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't ****ing care.
>>
>>Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
>>contributing
>>to by sending out these forwards.
>>Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
>>
>>The point being, if you get some chain letter that's threatening to
>>leave
>>you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life,
>>Delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
>>making them
>>feel guilty about a
leper in Botswana with
>>no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27
>>years and
>>whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll
>>receive if you forward this email.
>>
>>Now forward this to everyone you know.
>>Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous
>>and will
>>consume your genitals.
>>Have a nice day.
>>Billy Connolly
>>PS: Send me 15 bucks and then **** off!
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Three Nuns......
Posted: 8/3/2007 4:08:07 AM
Hi sportyd
Thought i would add a few jokes !

DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned

6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbours would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

*******

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused.
Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

6 times you came in your pyjamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed
and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,
Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because you farted
and I was trying to breath
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Si's leaving do Leeds POF Karaoke party photos thread
Posted: 7/27/2007 11:25:10 AM
I will hun, i'll have a few for you too
Got a bottle of champers well its not everday your 55yr OMG am i really that old i'm off to hide
Have a good weekend Dizzy
Keep smiling ....i'm trying to
Love Lesxxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Si's leaving do Leeds POF Karaoke party photos thread
Posted: 7/27/2007 5:35:13 AM
Hi Savina

Yes you sure will ..
I think Flares is one of the the best venue i have been too
And of course its great to see the friends i have made on POF
Like my nutty friend Dizzy she is a gem

See you all soon
Love Dimila xxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 80 (view)
 
July Leeds Karaoke Party - Thursday 26th July
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:23:31 AM
Hi nopervspls
I have changed my settings...
I use to get more women than men, which is nice but for the wrong reason
Yes it was another good night .. and i only had two drink, see i am a good girl
I met a really nice guy...no names... but will be nice to meet again soon ..

Dimila xxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Si's leaving do Leeds POF Karaoke party photos thread
Posted: 7/27/2007 2:33:01 AM
Great night again...
Looking forward to the next Flares meet
Good to meet you Si, all the best in all you do
Great to see my good friend Dizzy, your a star hun !
Take care Dimila x
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 77 (view)
 
July Leeds Karaoke Party - Thursday 26th July
Posted: 7/26/2007 6:26:12 PM
Hi Teasr
Yes it was a good night..
And no your picture doesnt do you any justice lol
Nice meeting you
Dimilax
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
July Leeds Karaoke Party - Thursday 26th July
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:04:36 PM
Well dizzy looks like i might coming tomorrow as im single again
Someone has to keep an eye on you
See you there hun
Lesxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
July Leeds Karaoke Party - Thursday 26th July
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:14:09 AM
Hi Dizzy
Sorry but i wont be coming to the Karaoke night, my boyfriend is coming down for the weekend as its my birthday on the 28th ..
I know you understand why hun, i wish i could be there to see you again ...
But i might be at the next one, or we could meet up for a coffee sometime and catch up ..
Take care Hun
Love Lesxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 6:18:49 PM
>COOL THINGS ABOUT BEING A MAN
>
>Yes, it's good to be a man......
>
>1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
>
>2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
>
>3. Your last name stays put.
>
>4. The garage is all yours.
>
>5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>
>6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
>
>7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
>
>8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
>
>9. Hot wax ne ver comes near your pubic area.
>
>10. Same work .. more pay.
>
>11. Wrinkles-add character.
>
>12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
>
>13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
>
>14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
>
>15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
>
>16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
>
>17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
>
>18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
>
>19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
>
>20. You can open all your own jars.
>
>21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>
>22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
>
>23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
>
>24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
>
>25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
>
>26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without
ever
>thinking "He must be mad at me."
>
>27. No maxi-pads.
>
>28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
>might become lifelong friends.
>
>29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
>
>30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
>
>31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
>
>32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
>
>33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
>
>34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
>
>35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
>
>36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on
December
>24th, in minutes.
>
>37. The world is your urinal.
>
>TEN THINGS MEN KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT WOMEN.
>
>1.
>
>2.
>
>3.
>
>4.
>
>5.
>
>6.
>
>7.
>
>8.
>
>9.
>
>10. They have breasts.

Dimilax
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 6:13:47 PM
An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands.
He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian
Barmaid.



As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent. Over the
course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he
asks if she wants to come back to his place.
Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay
her
$200 to sleep with him.


As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she
agrees.


The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and
after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with
him
again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy
to
agree.
This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again,
orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks
that
if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more
cash
out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.


She asks him where he's from in Australia. - "Melbourne", he tells
her.

"So am I. What suburb?" she enquires. "Glen Iris" he replies.

"That's amazing........." she says excitedly, "..........so am I -
what
street?" "Cameo Street" he replies.
"This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering. "What
number?" "Number 20", he replies.

She is totally astonished.


"You are NOT going to believe this........", she screams, "but I'm
from
number 22! My parents still live there!"
"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"

HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN, THINKS AUSTRALIAN


Dimilaxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
July Leeds Karaoke Party - Thursday 26th July
Posted: 7/10/2007 11:26:50 AM
Yes hun i am saving like mad, if i dont eat for a week i should be ok ...and lose a few pounds too
O god £6 a bottle, poor old Steve he will have to stay sober so he can look after me
Will have to avoid the camera too its not fair taking the pictures at the end of the night dont know anyone who looks good when there P***ed
See you there hun im sure we can spare a glass for you
Lets go
Bye for now Dimila xxxxxxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
July Leeds Karaoke Party - Thursday 26th July
Posted: 7/7/2007 9:40:02 AM
Hi Dizzy and all the girls
Well up to now i am going
Mind you it all depends on the money situation then, i will have to try and be good up to then wont i
Think Steve is the same too !
He likes Karaoke

So see you there hun
Take care Dimila xxxxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Xibit Leeds 22nd June Pictures... hide everyone!!!!!!
Posted: 6/26/2007 12:44:25 PM
No it couldnt be you because i was on lemonade all night and sober
And im sure you werent on coke
Good night tho , well be at the next one with a bit of luck
See you soon Lesxxx
 dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Xibit Leeds 22nd June Pictures... hide everyone!!!!!!
Posted: 6/23/2007 7:29:45 AM
Hi Deb
I'm saying nothing
Well he is back tonight put it that way
Great to see you and the girls again, and yes we will be at the next one, well as sure as i can be if you know what i mean gal
Couldnt drink last night but its great to wake up without the hangover
See the pictures are up how much would it cost to take them off

See you soon
Love Lesx
PS: Another week for my feet to recover ouch!
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
~ ~ ~ LEEDS FRIDAY NIGHT DISCO PARTY 22nd JUNE~ ~ ~
Posted: 6/11/2007 3:41:19 PM
Hi Dizzy
What a great night and you girls were great
Not sure if im coming to this one, if i am seeing the person who you sent a message to then we will both be coming
Thank you for the message hun your great ..... well maybe not innocent but a good
My voice has come back and my feet are nearly recovered
Take care all
Dimila xxxx
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 212 (view)
 
Let this groove, get you to move, Its alright, alright
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:10:10 PM
Dizzy you were great !
Hope i meet you again ...
Take care hun
Dimila xxx
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 211 (view)
 
LEEDS POF MEET 7th JUNE ~70's NIGHT ~ @ FLARES
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:08:11 PM
Hi what a great night !
And the hostesses were the tops, i love you all, yes im a bit merry your fault girls
I had a great night, but i know i'm not going to have such a great day with this hangover oops today!

Go Girls you were brill...
And so was the company...

Be good Dimila x
 Dimila
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 140 (view)
 
looking forward to a good night
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:18:15 PM
Hi All
Well this will be a first for me, was a bit nervous about coming on my own but i have been talking to 2 friends on here, so i am coming with them. then i wont feel like a
out of water
See you all there should be a good night really looking forward to it!
Dimila x
 
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