Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

          

Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Is she using me for dinners?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Is she using me for dinners?
Posted: 12/21/2013 11:19:28 AM
She's on the fence about you. As happens to many relationships initially.

You can continue asking her out, get her to know you better and make up her mind. Consistence and abit of confidence will help here.

Or you can play immature mind games and end up pushing her away.

Either way you will have your answer.

Good luck!
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Lost a friend
Posted: 8/26/2013 6:25:16 PM
First off you are a loser for not getting the girl first time round. Work on your game.

Secondly, settling for friends when you wanted more, and letting all those feelings build up and ferment inside you for a whole year? Smarten up, stop being such a wimp.

Worse still, when she actually found someone else you turned vindictive and threw up all that fermented shyte in her face just to hurt her and feel better about yourself. How selfish and immature.

Looks like you better off without each other, so what are you whinging about?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Are my suspicions/jealousy crazy?
Posted: 8/18/2013 10:12:42 AM
He is not THAT into you so he is not acting the way you want him to.
But there is something that keeps him coming back and you let him.
But you can sense there is something wrong so you dont trust him.
Your suspisions/jealousy/crazy behaviour pushes him away.
But you miss him and ALLOW him back at the slightest attempt.
When he is back he realizes he is not THAT into you and cant act the way you want him to.
..................................................................................................

And the vicious cycle continues, one step forward, three steps back
This is what is called a toxic relationship.
You would do well to end it and seek counselling.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 37 (view)
 
first date drama
Posted: 7/21/2013 7:29:53 AM

Scott is a well-known and well-respected member of the community


Obviously not!
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Is attraction a choice ?
Posted: 7/5/2013 5:38:44 PM
Depends on which part of the anatomy feels (and ultimately determines) the attraction. You cant have a logical discussion with parts of the body that have no brain cells :)))
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Thought i was out of the friend zone but
Posted: 6/26/2013 4:07:24 PM
The most you will EVER be with her is FWB. Why do you resign yourself to second best, hanging around for crumbs (when she is drunk) instead of focusing your efforts on finding someone who will like you THAT WAY from the word go?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Now what?
Posted: 6/26/2013 10:01:47 AM
She was willing to give up sex to stay with the guy, maybe HE was giving up sex to be with her since he knew she needed him. And the thanks he got for that - being called gay. Sigh...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 120 (view)
 
dumped by text
Posted: 6/15/2013 2:28:33 PM
WTF?? Since February..its now bloody JUNE!!! Get out into the sun, feast your eyes on all the half-naked women/men and GET LAID!!!

Tough love anybody?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
First Message
Posted: 6/13/2013 6:27:45 PM
Read her profile then look inside yourself for inspiration. A comment, a question, a compliment on something specific on her pictures. Girls are humans - complex, sensitive, impulsive. Not machines that respond to a specific START button.

Do that alot, sounds like you need abit of practice...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Profile review is useless
Posted: 6/13/2013 6:17:13 PM
So go outside and get dates. Simple really...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
I'm confused ladies please could you help? Hurting guy :(
Posted: 6/13/2013 6:07:33 PM
It's called 'THE FADE'. Very common among young people these days. Instead of people being upfront and saying they are not interested, the amount of contact from them gradually lessens until finally its like they fell off the face of the earth. No texts no calls and definitely no 2nd date. The 6 days of silence from her meant exactly that. NOT INTERESTED. You didn't 'get it' and called her after that so she had to tell you in black and white. Its obviously the cowardly way out but that's the way they roll...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Would be greatful of some profile feed back :)
Posted: 6/4/2013 2:44:48 PM
Most sexist song on the planet is your favourite tune? Each to their own but your date doesn't need to know that.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 44 (view)
 
How to stop the excitement and bond always fizzling out between the 1st phonecall and the 1st date??
Posted: 5/21/2013 3:02:31 PM
All these girls can sense your inexperience, your frustration and your desperation to find a girlfriend. You are working too hard, too clinically, too systematically that its coming across as weird and unnatural. Finding love is supposed to be easy, natural, things flowing into each other with a general sense of direction. Not planned like an experiment. Its a HUGE turnoff for a girl to know that you are merely casting your net into the waters in the hopes that you will catch SOMETHING. You are not looking for that special girl who is the one for you, you are looking for any girl who will cater to your needs of availability but masking it with sweetness and niceties. And they all see through it.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 43 (view)
 
About to Lose my Best Friend....
Posted: 5/21/2013 1:10:40 PM
You and R played with fuel and now there's a fire.

What friend doesn't tell a 'life-long best friend' that she is driving all those miles to hang out with her 'friend' who happens to be her friend's boyfriend?

What boyfriend doesn't tell his girlfriend that he is going to hang out with her best friend on Friday, maybe grab a bite to eat and chat, just as friends?

And who doesn't begin to understand that they may have possibly crossed a line and things look suspicious when the situation is viewed from a different angle?

Dont be naive. You never know the dynamics of a romantic relationship unless you are a part of it. You dont know how well or not the relationship is going. She may have over-reacted, understandable, most people do when the heart is involved. But the fact that neither of you mentioned it to her comes across as very wrong indeed, worse for you considering you were her best friend.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Did I Blow It?
Posted: 5/6/2013 6:34:07 AM
So let me get this right. You went out once but wasn't taken by her. You weren't holding your breath to meet up again. You didnt ask for a second date. You didnt keep in contact for TWO whole weeks and when she called you up you turned her down and didnt offer an alternative. All that means that deep down you werent really interested in her, so what exactly did you screw up?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
confused and want him back need advice
Posted: 5/1/2013 3:59:14 PM
OP, have you ever been in his shoes? confused about somebody, asking for space to think about things, even actively breaking up with them to establish this distance, yet they dont seem to get it? How annoying! Did that make you change your mind about them or did it make them seem needy, clingy and desperate? How unattractive!
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Can't seem to get past a second date...
Posted: 5/1/2013 12:07:55 PM
Many reasons I can think of.

1. Is in a relationship and is warming up to cheat
2. Initially had but lost interest
3. Wants you to be more pro-active and show your interest by asking him out
4. Found somebody else more exciting
5. Pretended the date went well then got tired of faking it
6. Found out something about you that made him change his mind

etc etc

Better early than string you along and waste your time.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Sleepless nights - how do you cope?
Posted: 4/29/2013 2:13:27 PM
This works for me all the time (Thank you Dad :D )

1. Put the body to sleep. Lie in a comfortable position then slowly let your body go totally limp starting from the muscles on the forehead right down to the toes. Key is to do it slowly, gradually and systemically from head to toe, repeat if still finding yourself tense or holding yourself up, at the end your body should feel like jelly. Stay in that position.

2. Put the brain to sleep. Close your eyes and keep your mind blank. No thinking no imagining no remembering, no sensing, no feeling anything. Brain, mind and senses all put to sleep.

3. If still awake, do some deep breathing in and out, drawing each out as slowly as possible, just like you would when fast asleep.

4. Repeat from the top if still awake in 30 minutes because the body automatically starts to wake and tense up especially if you are tossing and turning.

It would be interesting to see if it works on somebody else, if anyone is sleepless enough to try it.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 82 (view)
 
I Chose The Wrong Guy
Posted: 3/29/2013 6:16:21 AM

the man I chose had not been in a relationship for a longer period of time ... I saw him as being more ready ... the one I did not choose, had just ended a relationship ... and I felt it was perhaps too fresh.


So what has changed now? He is currently in a relationship and you 'left the door open' for him to contact you. Which he might do as soon as his breaks up with this girl. The circumstances will still be the same and you might end up leaving him again! Or even worse, you might feel guilted into overlooking this dealbreaker and stay in a relationship that you're not happy with.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Dating Ex-Spouse
Posted: 3/24/2013 7:52:48 AM

.....he can't trust no one.......... he is scared to love because he doesn't want to be hurt.


So he cant trust nor love you. So what is he looking for/offering and what are you looking for/offering and are you both on the same page? Seems to me like the same questions everybody is asking, regardless of age or history together or time passed...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
occasional smokers?
Posted: 3/24/2013 6:11:12 AM
By your logic, which I totally agree with, all 'occasionals' are indecisive, weak-willed, people pleasing, easily influenced etc

Occasional smokers, occasional drinkers, occasional daters, occasional workers, going to the gymn occasionally etc etc.

Make up your minds all ye occasionals and stick to it! LOL
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Called by an ex's name
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:18:43 AM
You remind me of my baby sister when she was younger. She would throw a tantrum everytime Mom was calling out for her but mistakenly called out the names of us older siblings before hers. 'She dont love me, she dont even know my name!'
She grew out of it by age 7...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 31 (view)
 
i cheated on my girlfriend once but i apologized and promised to change but she wouldn't come back
Posted: 3/24/2013 3:52:14 AM
^^^This is BS. The cheating could have been worked out? That implies people should just go ahead and cheat then try to work things out and if they dont 'they weren't really into you anyway'.

These days people look harshly into cheating, men and women. Many a times cheating either means things are over and y'all just being too cowardly to speak out and end things officially or the other party is a slave to his desires and outside temptation. What is there to work out in either case?

OP, some relationships have survived cheating, if it was a one off incident that had never/will never happen again but these days very few people have the time nor energy to invest in finding this out.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 57 (view)
 
A women's intuition....
Posted: 3/23/2013 11:17:51 AM

Omg, girl.... he's good, really good.


I disagree. He is not good at all, he has terrible game.

1. He is either lazy or unhygienic for not changing sheets between partners. EW!

2. He's not very smart if obvious evidence was found in his bed/property

3. His lies are amateurish and are an insult to her intelligence.

Not good at all. I dont know why people insist on playing 'the game' when they have no player skills.

He should have stuck to the truth and maybe he would have continued banging the OP.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Ex Girlfriend question...
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:20:23 PM
She is trying to tell you that she made a series of terrible, terrible mistakes and she wants you back. Will you forgive her and make up and live happily ever after? She will also let her ex-gf in on the fun once in a while just to show you how much she loves you...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Second Date Put Off A Week
Posted: 3/15/2013 4:20:02 PM
So he was interested and suggested a weekend date and that was not playing games.
But she was busy and suggested the EXACT SAME THING yet she is playing games and not interested.
Double standards?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Dates - who pays and what it means?
Posted: 3/5/2013 2:27:11 PM
I also dont understand what the fuss is about who pays. The aim of the date is to find out if there is a romantic interest to be pursued. I think its materialistic to gauge that based on who pays for the date.

Some people here are also including their 'meet ups' and 'hanging outs' as dates.

Most mature people know that real relationships with real issues arent 50/50 anyway and so trying to establish/determine that on day 1 shows immaturity and playing games more than equality or anything else.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Would you meet him?
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:20:26 PM
Maybe he thought that you wanting to meet up without chatting on the phone was abit eager and he was just reciprocating and unfortunately he over did it.

I dont know why you didnt want to talk on the fone, were you going to meet up the next day already? If there is a gap of few days how were you going to keep in touch? Online? It may seem abit impersonal and give him the wrong impression.

There are already too many misunderstandings with online chatting and communication and I think in this case talking on the phone for afew days and planning the date on the fone would have PERHAPS avoided this misunderstanding.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
I need a womans help here
Posted: 3/5/2013 6:10:54 AM
Why do you want her as a friend? So you can continue seeing her and torturing yourself/her over what was/should/can be? Or do you want to worm yourself into her bed again? Maybe she has boundaries and doesnt sleep with her friends. Or maybe she has moved on. Respect her decision to not want to see you again.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Are you 'happy'?
Posted: 3/2/2013 6:08:35 PM
I dont mind happy people as long as they dont do all that full-of-energy chirping and singing and laughing before 10am! What the f*** are they so happy about so early in the morning?! :)
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Are intimate encounters for real???
Posted: 3/2/2013 9:11:21 AM
Intimacy can be either emotional or physical.
Kissing is emotional intimacy, sex is physical intimacy
One cannot be 'more intimate' than the other because they are essentially different types of the same thing.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 111 (view)
 
dating deal breakers
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:59:07 AM
People are supposed to apologise for their nails? So that's where I'm going wrong! Oh dear I got alot of apologising to do....
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Question?
Posted: 2/28/2013 1:57:06 PM
What kind of relationship are you two having, have you discussed that?

If he is dating you casually, dont invest all that into it. Keep busy with your own life.

If it's a proper relationship learn how to communicate. If you are an item he doesnt have to call you all the time, you can and should call him sometimes.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 110 (view)
 
tattoos a turn on ? or turn off ?
Posted: 2/23/2013 3:43:08 PM
Small ones look cute. Mahoosive ones like the one on cheryl cole's back are not nice :(
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Getting Blown Off vs. Reasonable Excuse
Posted: 2/23/2013 1:14:42 PM
I never waited around to find out it was the actual reason or not. The dating didn't continue as they never called back and never rescheduled. Advice is as above. If its a legit cause the person cancelling should re-schedule. I must say I have been tricked a coupla times by the sickness reason. I called to check up on them thinking I would expect the same if I was ill. But in the end they both ended up being blow-offs too.

Edit: Sometimes the interest fades gradually. Havent you been excited about a party all week then last minute when its time to get off the couch and start getting dressed you think 'CBA' and just give a BS excuse to cancel?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 92 (view)
 
dating deal breakers
Posted: 2/23/2013 12:09:51 PM

I had a great first date with one really nice lady, we went boweling in the afternoon


Couldnt help myself, had to revive me. Reminds me of the thread where someone said 'she smelt my colon and thought it was great'. OMG I almost died of laughter......ROFL
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Awkward Group Date
Posted: 2/22/2013 1:08:07 PM
Now that 'the first awkward meet with the girls' is over I would say do it again and again and hone up on your skill of socializing with 'the girls'. You have the perfect opportunity now to sharpen up that skill but instead your gona run away and hide? Now that you have met them all, hopefully you were paying attention to the convo and have abit of info about each of them, just take it from there and run with it. Maybe start off by offering to drop you gf off on her girls night out, stop and say hi to everybody and chat for afew mins then leave. Then build up from there. Life is a series of learning new skills and improving yourself. How chuffed would you feel when you find yourself in a similar situation and pull it off with confidence and charm.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Senior Sex
Posted: 2/22/2013 11:12:55 AM
cant stop LOLing....
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Haha. Lots of questions hey?
Posted: 2/22/2013 9:48:27 AM
Omg it was you I was chatting to last night!!!!

Lol...... jus kidding

Yeah, a question, chat about the topic for a bit and let the convo flow to the next topic.

You can learn alot about the person in a mindless chichat. Their sense of humour, their conversational skills, their general attitude and outlook towards life, etc etc. You can ask a question to introduce a new topic when there is a lull in the convo.

Oh yeah and ask one question at a time :)
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/21/2013 4:05:01 PM
OP, do you agree that you knew, from the first meet, that there was NO chemisty/spark/initial attraction that made you want to see her again?

People deny this aspect of dating and yet here is a perfect example! Even going on the second date feels like so much hard work without that initial spark.

And OP do have abit of empathy and stop stringing the poor girl along...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 2/21/2013 9:31:56 AM
She is also a creep for allowing him to cheat on his girlfreind with her. She isnt a victim, they deserve each other. Nuff said.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 31 (view)
 
what do girls like in first message?
Posted: 2/21/2013 8:36:11 AM

I don't think the problem is going to be more about some men finding it difficult to write a message that girls want to reply back to.


I think you will find the OP is asking exactly that.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
what do girls like in first message?
Posted: 2/21/2013 5:17:59 AM
^^^I like sparkly things so yes I would reply to her message :)

Point is you dont know who will be attracted to what in your profile. Could be your name, your attitude on your profile or even the last of your pics. ANYTHING at all. So just be yourself and dont try to please everyone.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Need advice on girl that saw her ex while we were dating. UPDATE
Posted: 2/20/2013 1:32:24 PM
Most of the forumists know that there's varied opinion regarding exclusivity in the early stages of dating. Some people ascribe to multiple dating until the exclusive talk whilst others are exclusive from the first date. I dont get why some of you are telling him she was wrong and he needs to dump her when this seems like a clash of the two schools of thought. Even he, confused as he was, knew that there was no exclusivity talk and hence he should probably have a chat with her and try clear things up.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
first time performance question for women
Posted: 2/20/2013 3:47:07 AM
STOP watching porn and STOP using your hand....
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Y is an amazing girl stressful?
Posted: 2/19/2013 7:01:35 AM
She is insecure because she KNOWS that within afew months when the initial rush of love and emotions has settled you will see her and her CIRCUMSTANCES more clearly.

1. You will see that she is STILL married. And even after a divorce the father of the children will ALWAYS be in the picture. Forever. Have you met him? Is he a nice person?

2. You will see that she has THREE children that you will have to take on if you ever marry her. You dont want to produce children, why do you want to saddle yourself with THREE?!

3. You will start noticing things about her personality that will irritate you and ,together with the above points, you will RUN from her.

Hence her insecurity :)
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 72 (view)
 
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 2/19/2013 6:35:51 AM
By 'bad sex' some people mean sexually incompatibility. For example some people want to make slow sensual love while others want to make a rough sex porn video.

Others by 'bad sex' mean some people want to just continue where they left off with their exes instead of learning about this new person and have a new, different sexual relationship with this new person.

These days everytime I hear 'Well my ex used to do that!' I reply 'Well you can go and have sex with your ex!'
and am outta there...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Just how acidental was the valentines shooting?
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:57:58 PM
People will always use the excuse that things weren't registered/recorded and therefore belonged to nobody. Some people in Africa and other parts of the world, upto now, have no desire whatsoever to record or register land. Land was mainly owned by tribes and everybody was happy living together, sharing resources, everything belonged to everybody. But when a foreigner comes and uses the lack of written records as an excuse to fence the rich fertile area around the source of water and issue himself a title deed, and shoots anyone who trespasses on it, then that is STEALING from the people and very unfair.
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
interested in dating white guys
Posted: 2/17/2013 12:58:17 PM
Approach them the same way you would approach ANY guy. Confidence, positive attitude and abit of flirting while finding out abit about them and if they are open to dating other races. If they are not, dont take it personally, there are SO many white guys who are. As with all things practise makes perfect :)
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Can't post his pic due to job restrictions...
Posted: 2/17/2013 12:26:29 PM
So which are these jobs that allow you to have a profile on a dating website but not a photo? People are so full of bullshit...
 
Show ALL Forums