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 Author Thread: widowed or divorsed? which is easier tio start over?
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
widowed or divorsed? which is easier tio start over?
Posted: 9/23/2012 10:44:42 AM
I am not sure. I felt already a bit out of place here when I was separated and in the process of divorce (you know.... those forum people who get up in arms that a person cannot date if they are separated/divorcing because "you're still married" therefore it is just plain wrong). Eight months into the divorce, on Aug 31, my husband died instantly in a single car accident. Now I am widowed before the divorce finished. Not sure if that makes me another level of untouchable. Whatever, I let go of him for eight months, now it's a final let go. I think each person has a different story and a different way of dealing with loss whether it is from separation, divorce or death. And sadly some people even lie about being separated, just to get some action on the side. I think if you meet a person face to face you can tell immediately if there is a possibility of a relationship developing no matter the circumstances. Loss is never easy, maybe it also kind of depends who walks into your life at any given moment. I think keeping an open mind and an open heart and somewhat of a clean slate helps.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:06:13 AM
I am not here to coddle or enable anyone, but sasurai, it took mega balls to share this, and my heart actually breaks reading this.

I go to a place where I wonder what happened in her past to set her on this path. I am not denying her responsibilty and the fact that we choose what we do, but omg. Makes me sad. I wonder what is inside you that is drawn to her, too.

On a bigger scope it makes me hurt , how we might care so little for ourselves and others, feel awareness for man's inhumanity to man, how we lose connection to ourselves, get lost, lose the path, detach, make poor choices.

I hope you find peace. I hope you get a whole lot of tests. If you can speak to a therapist about the internal battle, might be a good exploration so you can move forward in your life.

To me there is a noble side to you that wants to see the best in her and the situation. I do not think it is a bad thing. It just does not seem to be integrated in reality, though, but hey been there done that myself. It took me 32 years to come to some realizations about my partner and myself, take this opportunity now and move forward. If you don't grow/learn from it, that is the tragedy, not that it happened. I think many of us have horror stories, the question is what did we learn and are we still doing the same thing bringing us in the infinite loop of pain, and frustration.

Heartfelt wishes for healing for you and her. D
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Non-virgin sexual camels
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:49:19 PM
I laughed so hard reading this thread. The things that go through a stream of concious mind when the blood sugar is low and I am 2 hours late eating dinner.

My first thought was camel toe and I kept racking my brain what that had to do with online dating.

Then when I read on about what a sexual camel was I wondered:

one hump...or two?

I am a dromedarian, not by choice. In my case...no humps. L
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Big vaginas-fact or fallacy?
Posted: 7/14/2012 1:33:45 PM
I am just thrilled we can write "vagina" here. That's awesome!

And as other posters have expressed, this thread now has me worried, so I kegeled as i read all the responses, which is not so easy when you are laughing reading many of the responses.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 268 (view)
 
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 6/28/2012 4:46:06 PM
"Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!"
Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.

Age would be a difficult component to ascertain, unless your date is willing to hand over the driver's license. I think you should be honest about your age, even if you look younger.

However something blatant like height or weight, now why even attempt to lie about that? If you are going to meet someone, it would be glaringly obvious you lied.

I just had a date with a man who claimed to be 5'10". He was 5'7" at best. That was the least disturbing issue about our date. However, it was the main factor in my determination for a second date. It did not bother me he was short; it was that he lied about it. He is still lying about it, even after I bought this to his attention.

If you plan on meeting someone, don't you realize if you start out with a lie it does not bide well for a second date or for a deeper relationship?
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Ok, I am at a loss.
Posted: 6/28/2012 7:21:41 AM
Conversation is a skill. The largest part of it is listening. If you cannot think of where to take the conversation, just ask a question about something she said. It will flow.

For me, I learn a lot between the words or in the pauses. Silences are communication in themselves. Silences don't have to be awkward. They can be very sexy.

There is a lot to he said about the vibration between two people beyond words. You don't speak in the depths of a kiss, you feel. No words can even come close. I frequently have to get out of my own head and allow comforting silence.

Nervousness is also a huge factor for me right now. Dating again after 32 years of marriage is scarey. Breathing helps me get prepared for the date; breathing through the date. It is amazing what simple breathing can do to relax your body and mind.

Good luck to you.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
walking in circles
Posted: 6/24/2012 10:07:37 AM
wanderer1999, I really liked your response.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Alcoholics with depression
Posted: 6/24/2012 9:36:03 AM
Only a suggestion: try an Al-Anon meeting. Just go and listen...
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Deep throating -does size matter?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:08:48 AM
^^^
okay I'll bite (probably bad to say in a thread of this name) but

howwwwwww big is it?+

oops edit...that was supposed to post on the bottom of page one under Ms Micki's comment for tallshyman.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:04:06 AM
U make it entertaining that is sad but true.

OP it does not sound normal to me. I read a thread somewhere on here about jealousy (healthy unhealthy? red flag? etc) and it made me think a lot about this issue.

But now you are free and I hope you can find a secure loving relationship (when you feel ready). It is good to examine a past relationship so we can learn things about ourselves. Think about this...what did you learn about you? That was the gift. The other is gone and you are left with you. People seem to come into our lives to help us learn lessons we could never learn on our own.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:25:12 AM
I am new and love the Forums! It is a guilty pleasure that I spend much more time in than my profile.

I also have a secret crush on here. It brightens my day when I see/read anything he wrote. He inspires me.

I would come here whether I had discovered him or not, it is a wonderful place. So thank you everyone for making this place so thought provoking, vital and mostly fun. What a great community.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Would you tell someone on here what companies you have job interviews at?
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:46:49 PM
IMOT25 I would not. Was he in the same field as you, is that why he was interested?
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:43:38 PM
I am really happy to read this positive thread about those of us who are living a la shoestring. The last thread I read had become very negative. Thank you everyone. Good luck to you Notricksters. Our financial bracket should not be used to judge the quality of our characters or how much love we have to offer.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
English men
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:31:03 PM
I really liked both Brian's responses. a lot.

OP you are breathtakingly beautiful. But I think the issue is the men are assuming you have sexy pictures so you want to make "sexy time".

I hope a man sees deeper for you. I don't think it's that English men are all as you think. I think just geographically there you are and the men are making assumptions about you because of your pics when they do an area search. I wonder how many even read your profile.

Wish I were young and beautiful. Maybe next lifetime.

Good luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Emotionally Abusive mother
Posted: 6/17/2012 3:58:15 AM
I think people who have not lived through this cannot possibly understand why you are still there or why you went back to the fire. As a child, it was what you learned, what was the norm. It was how you lived day in and day out, and you learned to experience everything via that twisted reality. It is called dysfunction for a reason. "Children learn what they live" and that was your reality. That you are now able to stand up and question this is a sign that you are becoming familiar with what is healthy. Please try to get out as soon as you can. Work on you, get safe distance between you and your Mother. Decide what you will and will not tolerate so you can set "healthy boundaries". Be self aware that this was how you were raised and take care when you are seeking a partner. You are beautiful, hope you know that.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Is she an alcoholic?
Posted: 6/17/2012 3:44:05 AM
If you need to learn about alcoholism, stop by an Al Anon meeting. Just sit and listen, or share your experience. If you feel someone's sharing resonates wth you, approach them after a meeting and share your concern. Many meetings will offer a newcomer a one on one option in lieu of sitting through the public meeting, so you could sit down and direct your questions with someone who has lived it. Alcoholism is a terrible, insidious disease that can destroy not only the alcoholic, but the people who care about them. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Profile lies - deal breaker or take it with a grain of salt?
Posted: 6/17/2012 3:25:40 AM
I dont see anyone has written this, but why not ask your date? It could lead to a really important conversation about trust. Either way you need to know, all the speculation in the world isn't helping here. Good Luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 53 (view)
 
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/8/2012 6:53:33 AM
I hope to be "peacefully" or "at deep peace" divorced.

I don't think loss is ever a happy circumstance, but I do understand why and how that could be written.

No matter how bad things devolved in my marriage there were some incredibly wonderful times.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Men are stepping stones?
Posted: 6/7/2012 3:39:54 PM

we can only be treated as stepping stones if we pick those kind of people and we allow they to treat us that way. 50% of the responsibility is on us.

You teach people how to treat you.


I REALLY like what jmark4 wrote! *snaps*
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
What to do???
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:37:10 PM
First of all, I think you have a lot of courage to come on here and pony up and share what you did. I know it was not easy because , well just reading all there behind me...you knew you would be judged. Kudos to you for your honesty.

What's done is done. Just the fact that you felt these pulls and doubts is indicator enough there was some sort of issue in your relationship.

I am so sorry this happened to you. I believe in compassion and forgiveness; however, I feel once trust is destroyed, it is one extremely difficult wound to heal. I know you cannot change a person, only yourself. I also know if someone really does not want you and value you, no amount of conversation or counseling will magically make him see how wonderful you are.

Part of you probably does not like yourself right now because you feel guilty or bad about peeking. Another part of you should love yourself for picking yourself up with dignity and moving on. Take time to heal and know that if someone values you in his life, he will not do these things.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:20:00 PM
It's a red flag for me, but is it a red flag for you?

If you are not feeling anything strange about it, and only we might be, does it really matter what we think? I wish I could give you a definitive answer but I do not know either you or the situation.

It does not sit well with me upon reading it twice, but I am not you. Hope you get some clarity. You'd have to sit down with him and really identify what this is. Good luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Would Anybody have sex if they met today on the net ?
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:14:37 PM
I don't have "fears" about it, just not something I would do tonight.

It's not on my bucket list.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Time Travel-Is it possible?
Posted: 6/7/2012 11:55:18 AM
Since everything exists in the Transcendent, all that is, was and will be, my thought is when we meditate we do indeed make time travel possible. But most probably, it is not fitting our preconceived notion of what one would expect.

If you mean physically, then what about the theory of with mere observation of something, we change it. (the observer effect) If we did go back and interact in a moment, the ripple effect would have consequences on the present and the future as well.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
where does sexy stop and sleezy begin?
Posted: 6/7/2012 11:18:04 AM
wow ohenryx you get a gold star, for serious! I did not even notice that. What he said for sure, the name might be misconstrued in a search.

OP, I think you look beautiful and sexy and no matter what you do, or how you look, there will always be someone who doesn't like it or judges you for it. Good luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 135 (view)
 
can a woman get spoiled by a BIG penis???
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:57:57 AM
I don't know. I have never had the pleasure to meet and greet a big penis. I am being honest. I also do not know if I will ever know.

My girlfriend at work keeps telling me how wonderful her bf with 9 inches is. She keeps leaving me big bananas when she ends her shift and laughing hard. I just got one at 9 p.m. last night when she left. I think I will go eat it now.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
I found my Mr. Right!!!
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:40:52 AM
Hey domo: I think you are sexy and attractive but your attitude might be offputting. Hang in there.

OP and OP's new love: Congratulations! Best of luck!
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:21:00 AM
I agree with the many posters who wrote about healthy mother/daughter boundaries. You have to let your Mom follow her own path. It can be painful at times to watch.

It also seems like putting distance between you both, esp. in the world of dating, is really necessary. You are truly beautiful and her comments have to do with her own insecurites, it has no judgement on you.

I have a 21 year old daughter. She has encouraged me to not only join dating sites, but to also begin dating. But that is where the story ends. We go to karaoke together once in awhile...she wants me to get out and have fun. I take a separate car and am usually vamoosed in an hour. We eat together, we may sing together, but then, I kiss her goodnight and drive off in my own car.

You love each other. You both just need space to explore the dating scene as you each see fit. Good luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
What's wrong with this situation?
Posted: 6/6/2012 10:43:36 AM
To me it reads like a cut and paste. There is no proof in it that you even read the profile. You did not even name one specific thing you would have in common or that you liked. If it is not working for you, I would try another route. Good luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How do I get over my addiction to men who only want sex?
Posted: 6/6/2012 9:00:36 AM
I am sorry but I don't think it is racism. It seems like a form of PTSD where there can be a trigger. This non-man could have been any race...he could have had intense green eyes, he could have had red hair, he could have worn a blue plaid shirt...and any one of those things could be associated with the trauma. OP I honestly do not think you are a racist, and you do not need another thing to judge yourself. It is what remained with you. I am so sorry this happened to you. I would stay off CL for awhile. Stay in therapy. Maybe try celibacy for awhile (not forever) to just regroup and sit with yourself and your feelings. Seek out understanding friends. Be good to yourself. You are healing and healing takes time and patience and self love. Also try SexAddicts Anonymous, at least look up some of their literature. Keep on, OP.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
No sex from get go so no go
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:41:52 AM
It boggles my mind, it says plainly in your profile you are not looking for an intimate encounter. Maybe he never looked beyond your photos? I agree with above poster, you had an inkling of what he wanted, maybe it would have been better to not try another date? Good luck to you.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I have not displayed a picture but do have pics to share once I feel there is a connection
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:35:40 AM
"Anyway, people are entitled to set up their profiles any way they want, just as you are entitled to pass them by for not having a photo(s), which *most* people will do, BTW."

agree motown cowgirl.

I cannot second guess others' motives, I am only responsible for my own behaviour and I at least know what I like/prefer (which is a public photo, not a fan of attached private photos).
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Venus transit
Posted: 6/6/2012 7:38:11 AM
I watched a few hours of it on the internet and found it awesome. It was extremely cloudy, sort of rainy and foggy here to view on my own. I was glad to find this thread here. Those who observed, what did you think, or feel?
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
When do finances signal a red flag?
Posted: 6/5/2012 4:54:03 PM
For goodness sake, if a person is so concerned about protecting his/her finances, get a pre-nup. There is no financial obligation to a person you are dating or in a relationship with or even living with unless you are legally married. It's really very simple to seek legal advice to protect your assets, esp. anything involving your children. My soon-ex is declaring bankruptcy and this will effect me for a very long time. Reading some of these judgemental comments, totally blows my mind. I am not defined by my financial standing or by my soon-ex's actions. It does not make me a lesser person with a character defect. As I have said before, I will still pay my own way on dates. My one date I went on I tried to pay for my own glass of wine....he made at least three times my annual salary and whipped out a company credit card to pay for our two glasses of wine and two diet cokes. Yes, there are people out there who will use you on any level they can, but please do not assume because someone is poor they are not date worthy or good marriage material or compassionate caring, moral people.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Why [b]DO[/b] men send unsolicited pics of their penis?
Posted: 6/3/2012 3:54:51 PM
Gertrude....I confess to being amazed by it, but not turned on by it. I don't know if I would feel any better if there were a face attached.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Why [b]DO[/b] men send unsolicited pics of their penis?
Posted: 6/3/2012 3:33:59 PM
May I say....that certainly does stand out...
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 70 (view)
 
How do you date a girl whos in debt?
Posted: 6/3/2012 11:20:01 AM
Well I am not sure how to handle that. I think the bottom line is you have to protect yourself...trust is earned, not automatically given. I did go on one date so far...and the man had two children. If the relationship panned out I would have loved to eventually meet them and do things with them, too, but not on our "date time". I feel you really need to establish a relationship before adding other persons to the mix. I do understand the aspect of the "package deal", meaning you get me, you also get my child(ren) . I just don't think it is appropriate to have your children "dating" with you. It is also a concern for me from the children's perspective, are they ready to meet someone new?

For myself, I am going through a divorce, now six months into it. My soon-ex is just now declaring bankruptcy, My lawyer said I would most likely have to as well, and I would in addition now need a bankruptcy lawyer.

If a future partner judges me for that, or passes over me because I am poor, it is not someone I would want to be with anyhow. Thus is scarey for me that I am now having to consider things like food stamps, assisted housing, etc. I just received financial assistance from the local YMCA so I could go work out there. I had to submit my tax return, my W2, recent pay statements, my bills...and I received maximum assistance. It did not feel good to ask. I guess because the shoe is on my foot now, I did find the whole thread a tad judgmental against us po' folk.

And honestly this was never something I thought about, telling someone I would be dating.... I am now poor. I guess I was under the fantasy that someone would like me for me, not the financial security I could add. Any date I would go on I would offer to pay my own way, I am extremely sensitive about not being indebted to anyone. Obviously I would not be up for going to a five star dining experience. It's kind of shameful to be in this space, really. I don't recommend it.

I have a great deal to bring to a relationship. Money is just one aspect of it. I just hope a person is not judged upon socio-economic status. I work a full time job, and sometimes circumstances happen beyond one's control.

Therefore I would ask that you get to know someone and his/her character before assuming they want to scam you or freeload off you or use you. I do think it is always wise to proceed with caution. Doubtless there are women and men out there looking for a sugar daddy or sugar mama. I am someone trying to start a new life. I am now poor. I am now in debt. That's life.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Confused
Posted: 6/3/2012 5:51:47 AM
Hi Confused...

That is true about the mobile app. I had to delete mine, it seemed frequently on unless I "force stopped" after each peek in my apps section. That was too much effort for me. I am not so technically savvy.

Now I am in the Forums more often and I did often wonder about if it is showing me online to chat? Strangely the other day I wrote a big response in here and it signed me out before I could post. I thought it was funny that when I wanted to be on here I was signed off. So no more longwinded responses from me.

I think the only thing you can do is communicate to him about where your relationship might be heading. I personally would not bring up the seeing him online part. With that on the table, though, would you still want to date casually, if he did not want to move towards exclusivity?

I'd have to sit with that a bit before I made a rash decision. How long do you wait for someone to want just you? Is that comfortable for you?
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 40 (view)
 
GF gives me STD. Confirms her cheating?
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:45:32 AM
curlygirl...you taught me a very valuable lesson today. Always read the OP's profile. Thank you.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 5/30/2012 1:43:47 AM
If you at all saved her picture? You can google search images. She may have had the same pic in another account.

If you knew her general area where she lived, you can go on Craigs List and post a "Missed Connection"

I do not know much about computers, but I thought your computer hard drive kept copies of everywhere you have been, so maybe a friend who know puters can help you look back and there should be a pic captured of her page?

This post reminded me if I ever do find someone special not to let things slide. Sometimes you do not get a second chance.

Good luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
***Choking***
Posted: 5/29/2012 4:12:32 PM
I am with Ms Micki

not a turn on for me
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Depressed and lonely, when will it end?
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:50:31 PM
I am so sorry to hear you are going through a hard time.

Can you find a counselor near you?

I am glad your child brings you joy.

If you have any sort of interests, try the site meetup.com . You can search by zipcode things going on in your area so at least you can find peope with similar interests. I think I even have seen single Dad groups on there, and maybe that would really help you to vent or seek advice.

It will get better. Do all you can to make this time better for you. Then you can be fully present for your child. good luck.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Why [b]DO[/b] men send unsolicited pics of their penis?
Posted: 5/27/2012 9:46:06 AM
My silly question is: How do you know it is "his" penis anyhow, if it is just an errant penis pic?

As to why a man does it, without solicitation, I would guess it is because he is looking for a new home for it.

He must also be real proud of it.

He also must not care that you will never speak to him again and might get blocked and deleted.

Guess there is someone for everyone, or someone for every penis?
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Players
Posted: 5/24/2012 10:40:39 AM
Playahs are definitely not gender specific. To blame or judge men and not women and vice versa is just wrong.

Still, I guess it feels good to vent at times and when in pain a person sees the tree for the forest.

It is the person him or herself, not because they own a penis or a vagina.

It does not make it right to generalize and stereotype. You are right.

I am new here and I do read a lot of: "Men on this site are _______________". "Women on this site are _____________."

Maybe in our human nature it is just easier to just glom people together. Again not right, but a lot easier.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Why is this so offensive
Posted: 5/24/2012 9:01:36 AM
As Braniac previously stated so well, I think it can be interpreted as offensive to go into a meeting with a set alloted time to get to know someone. I think that kind of pressure would absolutely cave me. (thinking in my mind...I have 20 mins or less not to eff this up) I don't ever want to become a professional directed dater. I want to relax and be me. Yes, it is possible that I could walk into a date and we, after 20 mins realize we have nothing to talk about but the weather and maybe we acknowledge time to head home, thanks for the meet. That's different, that is allowing what needs to evolve. It might be true that you walk into a job interview and within 30 seconds they know if they see potential...but we are talking human beings with hearts and feelings and it's not a job to date, it's a gift for someone to allow you in. It's a kind of magic...
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Men who ask women for oral sex on a first date; is this a frequent request?
Posted: 5/23/2012 12:15:19 PM
and might I add to" wants to travel"....after reviewing your posting history to understand why you would find trashiness in an attempt at humor and from whence you come...as you so wrote in a previous thread...

"i have a few jewish friends, they tell me that the orthodox jews are crazy fanatics
just as bad as any crazy religious fanatics that insist on living outside of society
so she should be happy they did not stone her!"

You are spewing racial/religious hatred by repeating that. I am not sure how to categorize you for your contribution hateful and streotypical, other than feeling abhorrent disgust. I am not laughing now, in your face or behind your back. I find being asked for a bj on the first date funny as heck....yet you stereotype and judge a whole race. I am neither Jewish nor Orthodox.

Therefore, the amount I respect your opinion from here onwards..... is zero. moving on....
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Men who ask women for oral sex on a first date; is this a frequent request?
Posted: 5/23/2012 11:31:43 AM
Just because you call another gutter trash does not make one gutter trash. If a person were to read a potential date's profile beforehand where it plainly states" not interested in casual sex", and still has the expectation or gall to ask for a blowjob, I would not feel obligated to be all kind and gushy and understanding. Laughter is the best medicine. I would find it incredibly funny. Therefore, not only know thyself, but do take the time to read/study/investigate/show some interest in your date's profile beforehand.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Reasons for rejection?
Posted: 5/23/2012 11:23:21 AM
I looked at your picture, I read your profile. You are a very cute, driven, intelligent and kind young man. I understand it does not help to hear it from someone else until you can hear it between your own ears. Bitterness will consume you. Allowing others to direct your nature or personality will only result in pain. Accepting you is not your yoke, it is your gift. You are young, so don't give up. Any woman would be blessed to be with you.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Dont give up hope.
Posted: 5/23/2012 11:16:00 AM
Thank you Robertarans. Hope springs eternal.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Natural and hairy women?
Posted: 5/23/2012 11:10:54 AM
I think shaven balls are very nice. However I understand what that itchy grow in stage is like so there is no expectation or demand for them.

As for me I totally cleared the forest but once, and I did love the feel of it. It felt wonderful, I felt extra sensitive. I found myself touching myself more often, but with shaving it did not last long. Regrowth was uncomfortable. *itchitchitch* And I am not a fan of lasering my va-jj several sessions for a thousand or more dollars to be smooth.

Solution is both trimmed closely for me. Hairy is ok too. You work with what you got/find.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Men who ask women for oral sex on a first date; is this a frequent request?
Posted: 5/23/2012 10:53:13 AM
If a man asks me for oral sex on the first date or expects it or hints at it, I will be laughing in aforementioned face. And I Do mean a gut busting belly laugh audible about a block away.

I don't expect my date to pay my way. (for the comments about paying) Gee... I am sorry for the time you lost wasting an hour or so of your time in my presence. (for the comments about the "time commitment") We don't ever have to see each other again. Please go home and wank to porn or the POF forums , cause some are quite exciting.

Good luck with that.

bye!

(that goes for a hand job too, btw)

p.s. Perhaps I have come off harshly, but do men seriously expect this? Unless a woman writes on her profile" I can't wait to wrap my lips around your penis" (and by your she means for every single man reading it) , why on earth have that expectation?
 
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