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 Author Thread: Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
 Blondie473
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 227 (view)
 
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 12/20/2007 2:26:11 PM
Thanks Sharknut :) I hope there are more of you out there. I have met the ones who use the site as a sexual buffet...and one guy even told me his friends use it that way too..

I am not bitter about this...just realistic. Dating is a game..and there are players - as in every game. You have to weed them out. As I say to my three girls and son...you have to kiss alot of frogs before you meet a prince/princess. They may be frogs to you...but to someone else they may be the one.

To all of you who think it is the woman who attracts these types...maybe you are right to a certain extent. We are taught to flirt...show off our wares...and I guess we try to do that all in the first five mins lol...I feel that the downside to these sites is that there is ALOT OF CHOICE . A virtual smorgasboard...and in the back of everyone's mind is...well there still is that other guy/girl I am chatting with...right? lol It doesnt lend itself to sticking with one person and finding out what is special about them. I go on what I call "Meet and Greets" and even if I dont get that special feeling right away... I will usually go on a date to learn more about him...you only get a feeling for someone...a 3D insight into them after conversing for several hours..sharing a meal or a walk.

Well anyway I digress. Good Luck Everyone...Happy Xmas and a Merry New Year. xxx
 Blondie473
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 221 (view)
 
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 12/19/2007 7:41:37 PM
Okay Okay...I read all the replies...all the girls agreeing and suggesting it could be the way you project yourself...and the guys...defensive and holding their hands up and saying "not me". Bull**** I am on four or five sites...have met alot of guys...yes there are some nice guys out there who want a relationship and are very needy instantly...and then there are "the" guys...the ones you want to be with...the ones who only want "Friends with benefits"...Why? I have thought about this a little...and I think it is the stigma of the medium...Nobody ever really believes they will meet the love of their lives here...and if they do meet someone nice...their mates..."You met her on the net?" Like a hooker...Basically we are putting ourselves up here for the highest bidder...look at me...buy me...take me home...like puppies in a window...pitifully pawing at the window.

I have had two marriages from internet sites...and yes I would never have met them if not for this medium..Why do I still come on here? What else is there. Does it cheapen women? Yes I honestly think men think...that the women that come on here are desperate - dateless - want sex only - and give it away freely.

I am just asking you girls to be realistic in your expectations. Use it as a DATING service...a way to meet people...keep your guard up and your heart safely away until you KNOW they care.

Good Luck :)
 Blondie473
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
You were cuter on-line...
Posted: 11/10/2007 5:55:42 PM
Hey Merkitty
mmmm I really think that a pic is 2 dimensional to start off with. Second you dont get a feel for the person's personality through a picture. It is afterall just a snapshot of a moment in time. A real person moves gesticulates and their personality shines through that and body language.
Its all we have to make contact...and I would hope that we all do the right thing and put one on there that it is at least only a year or two old...and still looks like us...
Keep on truckin! and dont get discouraged...there are nice people out there searching just like you.
 Blondie473
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Women contacting men online first? Does it really work? Low success rate.
Posted: 11/10/2007 5:47:08 PM
I hate to say this red and blue - but you are sooo right...I think (especially women in our age bracket) that guys think if you contact them you are desperate for it...and the last thing a guy wants is a needy woman.
I have had the same experiences...contact...replies...and then nothing...I guess man has to be the hunter...and if he attracted to you he will contact you. I guess there is a percentage of the guys we contact - that are just not into us! lol I know that the guys out there would say...that a great percentage of the girls they contact dont even reply!
So maybe we are just getting a taste of our own medicine...so to speak.
Hang in there though...you look fabulous...and they dont know what they are missing...
 
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