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 Author Thread: falling out of love?
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 51 (view)
 
falling out of love?
Posted: 10/22/2013 6:27:43 AM
OP I got carried away with my response...sorry
What I was trying to get across is the fact that you can be right there in that marriage and NOT really know the person you are married to!!!
Moonbeamlover thank you for your kind words and I will read the book that you suggested...thanks!.
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 44 (view)
 
falling out of love?
Posted: 10/21/2013 6:41:52 AM
It was two years ago this month that I discovered my X of 39 years was a lier and a cheat ... I saw my marriage as I "wanted" it to be (until death do us part) and NOT as it was in reality. He lost me, the respect of our three adult children and any kind of relationship with his Grandchildren.

His latest "HO" and gold-digger can have him and all the KARMA headed his way!!!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Fraud
Posted: 10/13/2013 5:51:18 PM
Whew...glad I saw red flags as soon as he mentioned money!

I saw the Dr. Phil episode also...carbon copy of the scammer on POF that said all the right things.

ALWAYS trust your instinct ... I was hooked until he needed money.
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 85 (view)
 
What is the worst way you were ever dumped?
Posted: 9/18/2013 9:03:35 AM
He introduced his "affair HO" to our daughter saying with a smile and a wink..."Oh by the way...don't tell your Mom!"
She told him "Don't worry Dad...I won't...YOU will!"
A phone call to me from him ended a 39 year marriage...he lost me, the respect of our three grown children, and his two precious Granddaughters that are out of his life!!!
All because SHE was after HIS $$$ and didn't want to move back to Mexico...where her husband lived!!! He was clueless...
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
don't understand
Posted: 7/27/2013 4:01:41 AM
OP I can relate to your situation...divorce and pets.
My marriage ended after 39+ years and he ended up with our three cats that we had shared for almost 20 years. Anytime I ask about how they are...NO REPLY! OUCH

I am sorry for the loss of your pet but at least the two of you kept in touch over them. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he won't share pet info with me...they are all he has left since he no longer has a relationship with our three adult children and has never seen his new Granddaughter. Divorce SUCKS!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Help
Posted: 6/16/2013 2:34:15 AM
OP if you ever find the answer you are seeking...I hope you will share it with me!

Everyone says it takes time to heal. I have been divorced ten months now and I am doing better BUT I will never be the same. My hope is that I will learn from what has happened and I will be better...right now...I am bitter, lost and have so many of the same feelings that you shared! I wish you well in your search for answers.
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 58 (view)
 
If you could do it all over again...
Posted: 5/28/2013 7:39:44 AM
Married at 22, three children by 30...THAT was my career, everything else was just a job!

Never thought I would be divorced the same day I turned 62 after over 39 years of marriage!!!

My kids and grandkids are worth it ALL ... I count myself as truly "Blessed" ... The only thing I would want to change...believing everything my X told me as the truth!!!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Heartbroken today...
Posted: 5/25/2013 8:47:03 AM
OP I am sorry for your loss!!!

I think we all have those shoulda, coulda, woulda moments but I don't think we will ever know IF we could have made a difference ???
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
So Today
Posted: 5/16/2013 5:13:34 AM
OP when you have "history with someone" and you lose them (divorce or death), there will always be memories that bring back the feelings of your loss! I think it is a good thing to remember what you shared so just feel it!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Things men and women don’t know about each other?
Posted: 5/15/2013 1:39:21 PM
I agree with #2 on what MEN don't know about WOMEN...that is why on POF it is hard for me to contact someone first...even if I am interested!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
WTH, I mean, really???
Posted: 5/10/2013 11:40:22 AM
OP I am sorry for what you have had to deal with concerning this situation. Once the trust is gone it is hard to get it back...once burned - twice cautious...but maybe it comes with TIME?

As far as letting the wife know what kind of person she is married to is also a hard decision BUT I am so thankful that my daughter forced the issue even though it was at a great cost to her and to me. She lost her relationship with her Dad and I lost my 39+ year marriage.

I meant to mention this in my earlier post...sorry.

I hope what ever you decide to do works out for you and that you learn from this experience and are able to move forward...with a trusting heart someday!!!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
WTH, I mean, really???
Posted: 5/10/2013 8:23:55 AM
"Between a rock and a hard place" is exactly where my X put our daughter when he introduced his "newest fling" to her...then saying "OH BY THE WAY...DON'T TELL YOUR MOM!"

Treating her that way and putting her in that position was "almost" as hurtful to me as finding out he had been unfaithful to me MANY times! Of course she was going to tell me but she gave him the option to tell me first which he did. He hasn't spoken to her since and has never made any attempt to acknowledge his new Granddaughter which she gave birth to a year later!!!

HIS LOSS ALL THE WAY AROUND???
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Not sure what to do..Help
Posted: 5/8/2013 9:16:55 AM
OP...I know how you feel and I am also "walking in your shoes!" My 39+ year marriage ended almost nine months ago. My X was the cheater and he told me he was tired of lying, cheating and sneaking around. It is hard to start over at any age but has really been difficult for me since my divorce was final on my 62nd birthday (x's last F-U?)
One foot in front of the other and one day at a time is all we can do and I wish you the best!!!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Proper/improper attire?
Posted: 5/8/2013 5:44:26 AM
OMG....read the forums AND shoe shop...best of both worlds. Thanks!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 35 (view)
 
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/6/2013 4:53:43 PM
Dobbie 101...simple and to the point...I concur!!!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Are there ever any happy ever afters on POF with over 45's?
Posted: 4/27/2013 6:25:52 PM
I have been on here a year and I have made some really good friends. I have dated some fun guys but I guess I am from the old school ...I always let the guys contact me...!
My first four months I had lots of offers BUT I was still in the process of my divorce and I was upfront about that and didn't want to meet and greet. I was trying to see what the dating scene was like now after a 39 year marriage...YIKES! I will be 63 in August and I still have hope so I say hang in here and have fun...I am!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Once a cheater...
Posted: 4/21/2013 6:13:05 PM
The best "predictor" of future behavior is PAST behavior (as Dr. Phil says) and I agree 100%

The cheater has to lie to cover up...I was clueless but once it was out in the open...OMG...the lies I was told...once the trust is gone...the marriage is OVER.
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Divorce frustration
Posted: 4/15/2013 12:21:22 PM
LTR with all that drama and baggage would put me off so WHY would you want to get married...EVER? Just my two cents...BTDT...(legal document)
 TALLTEXAN2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
How do you fix the charlie Horse while you having sex!!!
Posted: 4/10/2013 2:35:00 PM
Best thread I have read in a long time...thanks for the laughs and the information...
 TALLTEXAN2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Me and my wife is seperated. She is seeing someone else and I want her back
Posted: 4/10/2013 2:16:17 PM
I feel your pain and the other posters are right about moving on and letting time and distance heal your broken heart. My X found someone else and when I found out about the cheating...it ended our 39+ year marriage. He is no longer with the home wrecker and even though seven months have passed since the divorce was final...I still have "my days" but does seem to get better. I hope you find happiness.
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
I think I have doen something rather stupid
Posted: 4/6/2013 6:14:39 AM
OP I think your reply was "spot on!"
I went on five dates with a guy and after the last one...nothing. I finally sent a "what went wrong?" message but no real explanation was given by him???
Months later he contacted me to go to dinner but I said "been there-done that" NO THANKS! Still not sure what went wrong...wasn't willing to back-track!!!
 TALLTEXAN2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
If you were the other woman - would you want to know?
Posted: 4/6/2013 4:43:16 AM
I would let the other woman know...I wish someone had told me!!!
 TALLTEXAN2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Quetion to those who cannot move on (only)
Posted: 3/18/2013 9:36:31 PM
1. To someday be able to forgive him for breaking my heart.
2. To someday be able to be friends.
3. To someday only remember all the years together and not just the end.

I read so much, sought out the why...I read this and it helped

There are things we don't want to happen but must accept.
There are things we don't want to know but must learn.
There are people we can't live without but must let go!
Author unknown

NOW IF I COULD ONLY LET GO...easier said than done...I am hoping "time" is the answer?
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Heartache is bad...but need advice
Posted: 3/13/2013 4:59:14 PM
If you are in a relationship and he is dating others IMO it is cheating. I was married to one for 39+ years and I was clueless...I trusted him. He introduced his "married" lover to our daughter...thinking she would keep his secret...NOT...she was not the first but will never get the details...

There are things we don't want to know that we must learn
There are people we can't live without that we must let go


My divorce was final on my 62nd birthday...nice of him (geez) ... You have youth on your side...learn from it and move on...I am not sure we ever get over it....but we HAVE to get through it. Best of luck to you.
 TALLTEXAN2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
confusex
Posted: 2/24/2013 10:37:07 AM
But I LOVE baseball...and I did say "how about next Saturday?" And he said OK!
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
confusex
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:02:59 AM
iwanttofind...we did the same thing over drinks...exes, kids, likes, etc...he said all the right things...over before it started?
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
confusex
Posted: 2/24/2013 7:29:52 AM
I also am confused. We had a meet and greet...went further than planned but didn't "give up the goods"
Next day was asked to "come on over" .... Said no because of lack of notice...NOT because I wasn't interested...
Nothing since...thought it was THREE STRIKES before you were out?
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 29 (view)
 
I need help answerin this i just dont understand......
Posted: 1/15/2013 5:00:54 AM
If I HAD known what I KNOW now...I would have a career...YOU need to be able to stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself!!! I got married at your age but my "'til death do us part" ended five months ago...the day I turned 62!!! X got a Masters degree...makes 6 figures...my FAMILY was my career...kids are grown, X turned out to be a lier and a cheater...just saying...find something for YOU ... YOU are the only one you can count on!!!
 TALLTEXAN2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 167 (view)
 
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 1/9/2013 5:14:10 AM
I disagree on that...as a wife that was cheated on and was "clueless"...I wish someone HAD told me!!! It ended a 39 year marriage but hey, he was the loser!!!
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Would You Do the “Till Death Do Us Part” Again?
Posted: 1/1/2013 9:43:20 AM
BTDT...(Been there...done that)

I believed in the fairy tale. My parents made it to 61 years together...death parted them...

39+ years in a marriage with a cheater was enough...NEVER again!!!
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 65 (view)
 
why do people cheat?
Posted: 12/31/2012 4:44:22 AM
My 39+ year marriage ended four months ago because of a "gold-digger"...X was CEO making 6 figure income..."HO" from Mexico was an aide. She didn't care that X was 350lbs, unhealthy, and married...she was married too...she wanted a cash cow!!! He is the loser...lost everything because he wasn't thinking with his brain...LOL
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How does love work for you?
Posted: 12/1/2012 8:09:34 AM
What a beautiful post...thank you maleman999 for giving me hope with my future search for "love" knowing it could just be "like" and work out just fine!!!
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How does love work for you?
Posted: 11/30/2012 1:47:27 PM
I think the best and longest LOVE begins as friends...I was married to my best friend for 39 years...until someone else wanted him for his money...$$$...we should have been until death do us part! Too bad lust won out over love because he ended up losing everything ...
 Talltexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Final divorce papers...
Posted: 11/29/2012 8:45:39 AM
He cheated...he filed because I went after the "HO" in the small town where he was the CEO...her name was already on the topix forum...I just added my comments...
He actually introduced the "HO" to our grown daughter...saying "oh by the way...DON'T tell your Mother"... Yeah like that was going to happen!!!
DIVORCED August 16, 2012...the same day I turned 62...after 39+years of marriage and three outstanding children...
Ten agonizing months BUT once I signed that final decree...all I felt was FREEDOM !!!
 TallTexan2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 178 (view)
 
Natural and hairy women?
Posted: 8/24/2012 6:45:52 AM
Thanks for this thread...I had many of my questions answered...! I have been divorced one week now after 39+ years of marriage and am learning as I go. I was part of that free love scene in the 1970s without the STD worries and was faithful during my long marriage (unless you count my revenge encounter?) ... I have been observing since April, waiting until my divorce was final...! I shall proceed with caution...
 
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