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 Author Thread: Awkward silences
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 31 (view)
Awkward silences
Posted: 3/30/2013 2:49:17 AM
I have sometimes (in testing a man on a meet or early date) gone silent to see how he reacts. His reaction can sometimes tell me a lot about his confidence. If he has to fill the silence or plays with his phone etc as he cannot deal with how he feels about it or fills it because he assumes I'd find it a problem then it is likely he is less suitable for me than a man that is comfortable with this natural occurance.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
Awkward silences
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:55:05 AM
If someone isn't comfortable with natural silences then s/he is awkward!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 54 (view)
Do people live up to their photo's they post on this website
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:25:57 AM
3 of were my photos were studio shots (including my current main profile photo) taken after I was made up and my hair styled a bit. The make-up wasn’t to make me look a different person like many women that have this service. When I make the effort with hair, make-up and wear certain clothes I don’t look too unlike the studio photos unless you compare them and me close up and see that my skin is not flawless like in those photos.

I have good skin for my age and can get away without make-up. There are photos of me make-up free. – I don’t look tremendously different in the ones with and without.

However, I hate my jawline and don’t put up photos that show it the way I don’t like it. It is certain angles that emphasise the jawline in that way so, where I am aware I try to avoid holding my head that way. We don’t walk or sit around with our heads in the same position all the time and the position of the viewer will dictate the angle they see. So to consider (as it might sound you do) that people always face you straight on with head straight up is unrealistic.
Of course we are going to pose in a way we feel makes us look our best if we think of it. Or we will upload photos where we look good if not consciously posed.

If you have a problem with the angle of the woman’s face not matching that in her photo then just sit or stand and the position that gets the angle you like and move each and every time she moves in order to keep seeing the view of her you like!!!!!!!!!!!

I am baffled by men that assume I am going to turn up to meeting them in my silver mini-dress in the mid of Winter or wear it or my long black evening dress during the daytime!

If a man invites me out I dress for the occasion. If he invites me for coffee, the pub, some mid-range restaurant or a walk I am happy to go but am not going to put on the ritz!

People that hold their camera out in front of their face and shoot tend to look worse in their photos than they do for real. They have often have that staring look we see on mug shots of serial killers!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
Chatting with a man that says he has been stalked a few times.
Posted: 3/24/2013 3:56:54 AM
You haven't been chatting to a man that has been stalked a few times. The one who he says spent the night outside his cabin might have been one ('if' that was the case). But to label a person of stalking because they call too much for us or turn up unnannounced is the sad way our society has become since mobile phones and the internet have been widely used publically. To lablel someone as a 'stalker' has become fashion due to some films that influence the minds of some immature people that cannot reason.

Some people think having a stalker or a few makes them appear more attractive than they are feel/are.

Unless the case was serious enough for police assistance or legal action people should not be telling others they have had a stalker. They simply should explain that they have had some people get too clingy it has made them a little wary and thus they might appear to display some negativity.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
Called by an ex's name
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:04:57 AM
There seem to be some very insecure people on here that need to vote to deleat theads for no good reason other than to feel better about themselves!

OP- I have done this a couple of times. If we are used to calling a particular name it sort of sticks around - like it did with you. This could include during/after sex even if we are not actively thinking of the Ex or at all. Perhaps something you did reminded her sub-consciously of her Ex even after 2 yeasr. So without being aware, she called his name. It may not have meant anything to her. Even if it did, it might have repulsed her.

How did she seem if you told her why you dumped her?

On the other hand - I have been very near to calling the name of the man I am still in love with but haven't seen for around 18 months, when I am in bed with other men because I was fantasing it was him even if trying not too!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
I can't flirt!
Posted: 3/24/2013 1:43:27 AM
Somewhere within your circle of acquaintances there may be a man that is saying to a mate ‘Hey Bro, there is this real cute 35-year-old woman that is part of a new circle of acquaintances. I feel unable to talk to her and so clam up and ignore her. I see her looking at me now and then but don’t know if it is interest or concern that she thinks I am some creep staring at her. She appeared to give me the whole cold-shoulder thing but could she be playing hard-to-get. I feel intimidated by the confidence of women that do that. I wish I could pick up some clue about how she feels about me. I don’t flirt well, Bro so am at a loss as to what to do to show my interest. If I do, will it feel like I am invading her space?’
His mate might be misinforming him that it means she isn't interested.

The internet is full of flirting tips. YouTube is great for that. A good site to start at might there will be other sites too and there may be seminars about flirting and dating near you that you can go to. If not there are products to buy or free video to watch.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 49 (view)
Love VS Large Penis
Posted: 3/23/2013 12:10:28 PM
As much as I like a big****I would prefer the man that better man with avergee sized**** i am more comfortable with average or smaller than for anal anyway.
Though, seeing as I am not quite ready for Mr Right to the exclusion of all others - I am happy for prioritise My Big****vaginally until I meet someone more suited perosnality wise.

Perhaps I need one of each!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 88 (view)
No sex in a long time .. good or bad?
Posted: 3/23/2013 12:01:40 PM
I don't judge them by that I decide their suitability by other reasons. Their not having had sex in a long while makes it better in that a tests for STIs such as HIV are done on a more reliable timespan than the 6 week and 6 month mark.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 26 (view)
Was I wrong or right?
Posted: 3/23/2013 11:38:03 AM
You were not wrong at all. He was wrong in saying that your mindset wasn't good. It being 'different' would be enough reason for him not to meet you if it was important to him to have the same mindset but he should have realied it was simply different not see it as a negative mindset.

He was of course wrong to cuss you. You better off without him.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 42 (view)
The fastest date that you have been on
Posted: 3/23/2013 10:16:23 AM
That beats my shortest date. Mine was about 10 mins. I didn't like him so scared him off by making my teddy bear talk to him!! He went outside (my date not my teddy bear) as he said he needed to phone his Sister to tell her where he'd put the key yo his flat and can't get a singal inside. He thankfully never came back! Thanksfully too he had only had one glass form the bottle of wine he bought. So after watching the rest of the Arsenal match I took the wine (and my glass) to Camden Town. I sat by the canal and shared it with some people who shared their vodka with me!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 126 (view)
URGENT.. Date in 1 hours. Should I go?
Posted: 3/23/2013 10:03:18 AM
Are you back yet if you went? How did it go?!

I had one like that a few weeks ago - Spoke for 1/2 hour then met within the next one hour. We had a great time even if not compatiable; shame we wern't suited, he was such a spunk!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 541 (view)
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/23/2013 9:48:30 AM
I think it depends on the situation.

I don’t usually bother with background checks unless I am feel there is a proper need. I have recently been asked to meet a man when he comes to England to work in the London office of the company for which he works. He asked that if we get on when we meet could he stay with me for a week after his business in London before leaving. He works in a country that would lead a lot of people to suggest I do a check on him. Until I meet him all I have to go on without background checks is what he says. He checks out ok. I didn’t do the check behind his back – I asked for security measures and I followed up on his information and he is kosher.

Another man wanted me to go and stay in his villa in Spain but because we could not meet before (he was going out two days after he asked me) I asked for the same security measures and he was insulted I didn’t trust him. He was rather posh and assumed that I should take that as he is therefore safe! I of course did not meet him.
Although some people have told me I have been taking things overboard I don’t think in thse two situations that I have.

Do you think employers that ask for references or do background checks are insecure? No, of course you don't as they have been able to some extent for a long time and it is seen as the norm.

We are in a world now where we can do checks easily - So we have adapted to that. Though sometimes we might be ruled by the technology that enables us. I feel we now live in a culture where we are at risk of being labelled negatively if we text someone everyday or phone them instead of waiting for them to contact us. Caller ID has enabled us as individuals but also disabled us as a society. So has the internet in some ways.

Background checks are not over the top initially and if in the situations I mention above and some others – they are very sensible.

Going back to your case - A person that has been in an abusive relationship like the woman your thread is about would naturally feel anxious and would want to be more careful in the future. If a man cannot understand that then he is not right for her. Perhaps she wouldn’t have bothered if she hadn’t been abused. Give it some thought from her perspective.
Hypothetical question - Consider if you would refuse a daughter/son of yours who had been in an abusive relationship in the past and asked you to help them run a background check on someone for them
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 74 (view)
Aspergers and intense sex drive/interest.
Posted: 3/23/2013 5:25:33 AM
I am an Aspie and too likely have some form of hyper sexuality. Though I have learned to control it and redirect my thoughts. Luckily my current contraception brings me down to relatively ‘normal’ sex-drive but not make me fidget like the rod in my arm form did. Perhaps this demonstrates that there is perhaps some medication you can take to control yourself – it is just finding the right one maybe.

CBT, as someone suggested, is perhaps a good idea. It can be expensive if you can get it free but I’m sure you can learn some strategies used. – Like the elastic band mentioned. I might try it myself when I think about the man I am still in love with but no longer see!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 70 (view)
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:02:22 AM
Perhaps it is in my mind as I can orgasm at times by anticipation alone. The anticipation of being touched where you want to be after being held-off can set me off. If I have been without sex for a while the entrance on a penis or finger can set me off twinging and bucking. Perhaps though on entering part of the penis rubs along the clit. I do think anticipation plays a large role in my case, as I’m sure it does with other women.

Once the anticipation phase wares off, so sometimes does the ease of orgasming.
If not mentally stimulated I might not orgasm with even clitoral or G-spot stimulation. So perhaps, to some degree, it is in the mind.

I always orgasm when rubbing up on the corner of my pillow – those orgasms are very powerful and have me gushing like crazy at times. I have to lay down a PVC sheet over my bed!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 313 (view)
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/28/2013 1:41:46 PM
It would depend on the place and why I felt he chose it. If it was some lame place with no class and he only went there because he had vouchers for it I would think to have no class and that he is not compatible for me.

If it was a classy or cool place, such as some of the places I get Amazon deals emailed to me I would think he is making good use of the vouchers and sensible for saving money. I have been taken to expensive restaurants and I know how absurd the prices can be.

I would rather be taken to a Michelin star restaurant where my date pays in vouchers than the local curry house where he doesn't.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
The other woman
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:49:27 AM
I am wondering if there is anything behind your friend’s calling you the other woman that you should worry about. It might have been innocent but could it possibly be her trying to make you feel insecure for some reason? If so then that is worse than the man’s behaviour.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
The other woman
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:49:18 AM
I am wondering if there is anything behind your friend’s calling you the other woman that you should worry about. It might have been innocent but could it possibly be her trying to make you feel insecure for some reason? If so then that is worse than the man’s behaviour.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:38:47 AM
That sounds a manipulative comment to me. Perhaps he is trying to make you think that you are not currently beautiful in order to lower your self-esteem so that he can control you.

You have beautiful skin and hair and look young for 57.

I would have said to him that he has the potential to take a knee in the groin and ask him if he wants to find out for sure!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
Need feedback for a study
Posted: 2/28/2013 12:41:00 AM
I messaged you even if I suspect it might be you trying to get veiws. I would answer 'A' initially based on your current profile photo and 'D - Other' anyway. I explained why in the message as you asked for that if answers might influence others then to message.

Good luck
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 53 (view)
Need advice
Posted: 2/27/2013 10:00:35 AM
Two words. Get rid.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 81 (view)
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:59:47 PM
Being a single parent whatver your gender would put off many people. Though as man it might be that the woman assume you are in a relationship with the Mother as they aren't used to seeing single dads. So they are perhaps disgusted if they think you are trying to hit on them.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 55 (view)
Ending a date, whats the protocol?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:20:17 PM
I think option B is good in both scenarios. I really like B in the second one. It is polite, honest and direct with no wrapping. You could add a good luck to them. Be ready to explain why if they ask and don't see them as getting heavy by wanting to know why.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 66 (view)
Recently Had A Bad Date
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:10:00 PM
It would be wrong to have faked it. What you should have done was accepted the silence like the adult you are and not judge her or the date on it. Mature people are comfortable with silences and realise that they occur. Were you perhaps projecting your insecurity about your part in the silence onto her? Why be rude as a projection? Were you trying to prove that you are a man by being direct? Directness need not be rude. It is the behaviour of a insecure teenager on a first ever date.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
Do you think the influence of income can change someone’s personality?
Posted: 2/24/2013 4:59:32 AM
Our experiences and choices can make and change our personality and character – why would income not be one of the factors? Doesn’t mean it ‘will’ but cannot say it would never change the personality of all people.
Access to choice can be a factor that determines personality. Money can give access to more choice.

Many people are more confident when they obtain more money – confidence is a personality and/or character trait.. So the answer is YES it can. But I am not saying it is so for all people all the time

There might be people that tell you it can’t but perhaps they are in denial as they want to think a notable change in income wouldn’t change them.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 210 (view)
All these younger men...
Posted: 2/24/2013 4:36:51 AM
I am 45 and get hit on by men from 18 online and even boys of 15 locally! Lots do say how they like older women or how they want to be shown what to do by a woman. Some say they simply think young women their age are too immature or want children where they don’t yet.

Many use the ‘age is just a number’ cliché when I turn them down saying they are too young. I ask them if they have the wisdom maturity and worldliness of a man of 50 that has brought up children to adulthood. Most admit not. Though a couple have argued they do! When I explain I want a man as I described they soon usually see my point – some I still speak to but they no longer try to hit on me. One got back to me to say he is thinking of asking his girlfriend he met soon after I told him he was too young, to move in him. That was really nice.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 32 (view)
Messages reply
Posted: 2/24/2013 4:21:58 AM
I am also on Match and have been on and off for over 18 months. I pay because it has a hight percentage of reasonbale men and a far lower percentage of chavs and men of mere average or lower than averge intelligence. I don't initate or respond becasue I am paying -I do so because they quality it better.

People are likley are a bit more serios on a site if they are paying. If they don't get many messages they are more likely to initiate themselves if paying.

It might be assumed that if you can afford to pay for a site then you might not be on a low income.

I mainly come on here for the forums and look at messages some of the times that I am logged in.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
Results of Recent Canadian Sex Survey
Posted: 2/19/2013 10:37:27 AM
I have had sex with 2 Canadians of the 5 I have met and a canoe played no part in either the dates or sex.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 66 (view)
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:49:51 AM
Are you asking if men disappear only to return as a cycle - like a bicycle or tricycle?!!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
Recently Had A Bad Date
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:13:37 AM
I tend to be honest with the men I meet but there are times when it is best to keep quiet until after the date. The man I met yesterday wasn’t compatible but there was no point telling him on the date and spoiling his night out or mine. He was a nice person but not for me even as a friend.

He was not from this site so I feel fine to talk about the date.

He had fluff hanging from a nostril! His profile photos is 10 years old and he has put on 2 stone since. He looks, sounds and dresses like the main character, Mark in Peep Show but doesn't appear to have a sense of humour. To give you an idea how he comes across - the first waiter gave the wine list to me. A different waiter that brought the bill (even though he asked for it) put it by me where my side-plate would have been!
He took it but I'm not sure if he picked up on the waiters’ behaviours. He was a gentleman though at least.

I think the waiters might have been being a touch nasty. They would have perhaps picked up on his nerd traits and were subtlety being ****y. Waiters can be snooty ****y at times. The waiter that took our order (same one that gave me the wine menu) seemed to notice my date looking down at the table when giving his order in an unsure but overly-formal way. He reacted almost with relief when I was more confident and casual

His biggest hobby is blowing up balloons until the pop!
I messaged him this morning thanking him for making the trip to London for the date. I said he was nice but that we are not compatible and wished him all the best. There was no point in doing as you did.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 45 (view)
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:13:28 AM
Not sure so much about those types being flakes but they do tend to show less intelligence and or confidence on meeting.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 98 (view)
Interracial Dating
Posted: 2/5/2013 2:25:00 AM
With race (in the socially understood description) comes culture. It is often culture (real, perceived or not recognised) that makes a non-racist person prefer some races and not others. It is usually more than skin deep so to speak.

I am currently seeing a black man but I am not a white woman that only dates black men at all. Culturally we are reasonably compatible. That is not to say he is not black on the inside as well as on the outside. He simply doesn’t conform to the stereotypes.

If I were to put on my profile that I am open to all races (which is the case if an individual compatible) then I would likely give the wrong idea and get more men saying the type of thing one did to me because he saw that I work with Hare Krishna cows. He assumed that I had a ‘thing’ for Asian men. I find that attitude childish. I get fed up of having, as I often have had, black men asking things like ‘Are you into a bit of black’? ‘Do you eat dark meat?’ ‘Do you like black****? So I leave it blank.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
Should I message her again, or just leave her alone?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:49:48 AM
It's only a couple of days. Perhaps she has not been on. We don't alllog in everyday. If it seems like she is logged in it might be that she didn't log out or if she is logged in she might have been doing other things and not read your message. Perhaps she wants to wait a bit, for whatever reason.

Leave her alone for a while; you can always; message her again in a couple of weeks/months asking how she is getting on.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 347 (view)
Do men think women women wearing glasses are sexy?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:23:55 AM
I get lots of messages from men saying I look sexy in my glasses.

Though I do recall a time many years ago when a car full of young men stopped by me then sped off leaving a cloud of dust with the driver saying 'She has face furniture'!

Personally, I think that my face is rather bland (not ugly, just bland) and my glasses give it character and form shape at the side of my face due to distortion by the lenses.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 61 (view)
Strangest Places
Posted: 1/19/2013 7:18:08 AM
I had very quick sex standing in one of those red and white telephone engineer tents. But weirdest perhaps was between the northbound and southbound tracks of North Wembley Station with train rushing passed and in the ticket collectors box that was unlocked. These were over 20 years ago now when security isn’t what it is now.

Ambition which I might go for in the Summer - The Bager Sett (manmade human size badger sett in Kew Gardens).

My fav might sound boring in comparison - A nice comfy bed!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
He's got a big belly
Posted: 1/15/2013 12:09:27 PM
Get a dildo with a flat flexible base (you can get them in a strap-on set). Stick it to his belly and bounce about! If you face away from him then you can wank him off as you bounce!!

I like a bit of a belly to snuggle up to and to prod and take the micky out of (in a nice way) :o)
Better than a skinny boney thing.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 33 (view)
What is more important, compatibility or chemistry?
Posted: 12/26/2012 11:15:56 AM
I agree with all of message 4 but find this bit of particular interest.

<div class="quote"> Do we both feel some chemistry but it's just not as high as our unrealistic expectations?
I have often not felt chemistry in the way I assume it is meant to be felt. I have still wanted, had and enjoyed sex with the men. I don’t only have sex with men I feel an immediate chemistry for but I have usually fancied them to some degree even if based on personality and the need for sex even if no chemistry as described by thx4playin.
I feel that this has answered my thoughts on whether not feeling the chemistry means it is not suitable as FWB situation. Short-term I’m not too bothered but I’d need both for long-term whether there from the start or grown somehow but it doesn't need to be hardcore!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
Mixed signals!
Posted: 12/26/2012 10:32:21 AM
I agree with message 2 and 3 and part of 4 but it doesn't mean he is a liar and cheat.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
Awkward Relationship since we had sex
Posted: 12/26/2012 10:09:19 AM
I am not clear from what you write in seeing if you wanted to use a condom or not but either way-- Perhaps you gave her the impression that you were put off by the idea of sex with a condom even if you had suggested it then asked her if she was sure she wanted to use one. It could have been the way you said it that made her think you didn’t want to use one and that worried her and tuned her off but she didn't know how to say no to sex from then on so went along with it and didn't enjoy for that reason. Perhaps she is sensible enough to know that seeing someone for 3 months before having sex doesn't mean that the person is disease free.
Best to talk condoms before any sexually activity at all as it's not a sexy subject!

Of course you just might be sexually compatible and she finds it hard to say she just wants to be friends now.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 107 (view)
Why do men want to finger your behind?
Posted: 12/26/2012 8:36:55 AM
To prep your rectum for their****:o) At least that's one of the reasons for me fingering a man's behind when I am going to strap his hole!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 43 (view)
online dating: pay sites vs free sites
Posted: 12/26/2012 7:05:20 AM
I have used 6 or 7 sites. Match I find to be the best. Thankfully I have not had the experience on Match that you have. I have not come by one man that wanted me to see his webcam on there but have lots on here and a few on another free site.

I am maybe lucky in that I see paying as seeing my glass half full rather than half empty. (sorry for cliché, hate it but it is useful here). This is maybe as I had been 2 dating sites before I found out there are free ones. I then tried the free ones and found them so bad that I repaid on Match when given an offer. The first site I was on and paid for in order to send tow fit men messages was a sugar daddie type that I looked at for a laugh. I didn’t like the men even if I was looking to be taken out. Match (as well as having twats) has lots of decent men that are happy to offer me what I want but without them being bottomholes.

Perhaps I would feel differently if I was looking for Mr Right but that is not what I am looking for.

I am currently paying £6.50 a month for 6 months on Match(a deal as I have been on and off for a while). There are losers on there than can afford to pay but I either put them off with my profile or I ignore them. I have met a lot of nice men on Match even if not all romantically. The free websites are awful. I have met one nice man on here but only as a friend of his Transvestite self. The other 3 from here that I met were chavs (as many on here appear to be). Most I will never meet as they are simply not worth the time.
Pay sites keep a lot of uncultured chavs away so for those of us that want to avoid chavs a pay site helps somewhat if not completely.

Guardian Soulmates has lots of intelligent sounding men (and women but) as I am not paying I cannot reply to them other than via the set responses. I put a clue in my profile to lead them here. That site seems to show only ‘very’ attractive women on it’s front page example photos so my ‘reasonably’ attractive gets lost! I get very few men though look at my page on there so it is not worth my paying for even if it seems to have a higher proportion of intelligent sounding men that Match and far, far higher than the freebies.

I use different sites for different reasons. This site is Not for meeting it’s existing members!! This is for forums and as a place for men I have poached from pay-sites I am not paying on to message me so I can reply to them!

There are bottomholes with money and decent men that cannot afford, or don’t want to pay. But Pay sites do cut out a lot of the work, at least that has been my experience apart from the sugardaddie type.

Good luck in your search.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
Double Standard on fake image improvements
Posted: 12/26/2012 5:48:27 AM

There's two sides to this..sure, women in this culture seem to have more options when it comes to style, fashion, dress and make up, etc. Women can wear just about anything they want, no problem.

If a guy tries something that seems too vain or seems to spend too much time primping, he's going to be labeled gay.

Men definitely do have a smaller bubble to orbit in, especially once they get into the work world. Take a look at men's suit options, for example. Three colors. Black, blue, brown.

I guess the message here is that men should expect to be judged more on their success in life rather than how "pretty" they are. A totally bald guy can get all the girls if he's got the car, money, etc. At least that's our cultural myth.

Guys are goofed on or called "metrosexual" if they have any sense of style outside of the black, blue or brown. You should be focused on being a success, not hair plugs.

However, you will never ever know the pressure and anxiety connected to being female, every inch of our bodies is up for scrutiny, every flaw, imperfection, signs of aging, lack of sexiness, cellulite, thick ankles, fashion faux paus, and mostly under the judgement of our "sisters." You may feel more confident also, as you get older, and won't be so concerned about your hairline. If you still are, there are other options beyond wigs, which really arent in style anymore anyway. Thing is, ultimately, as we go thru life we sometimes have to learn to accept that we change, and true happiness is the ability to accept those changes.

I agree with this and say to the OP that it is not double standards about how women and men prepare themselves for the dating world in general but simply the double standards that have rightly or wrongly become the accepted norms in society at large. As is is part of our culture at large then the norms of society simply cover dating too. It is not really about women being deceptive to get dates; though with some it might be. Even the ones that do try to deceive might not be thinking it is ok for them and not for men so might not have double standards. There is a difference between wearing wig to hide baldness (something a lot of men would have an issue with in women) and wearing a wig, hairpeice oe false eyelashes as temporary fashion items which is simply part of getting dressed for a lot of women. I wear a fake ponytail sometimes depending on what I am wearing.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
Feeling raw and sore after sex.
Posted: 11/5/2012 9:22:22 AM
If you donm't know you are already, could be menopause insetting. Get advice.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
Feeling raw and sore after sex.
Posted: 11/5/2012 9:21:04 AM
Put aside your thoughts of lube being unnatual and use it. Liquid Silk is good and Astroglide is said to be good too but not tried that one myself.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 45 (view)
Posted: 11/5/2012 6:43:21 AM
I can be extremely loud when I am mentally aroused to a high degree and anticipant. The moment what I anticipate is about to happen and does I just go bonkers. I can control this to some degree.

If I am not generating sexual feelings mentally, but only feeling aroused physically then I am not so loud. If my mind is elsewhere I might be silent.

I am very loud too when alone. Not when masturbating with my fingers or using a vibrator but when ****ing my pillow. The build-up to and the orgasms (multiples) are so intense that I cannot control it. I put my head into another pillow to muffle my screams but I lift my head up for air.

A couple of months after the woman below me moved in I had the police at my door as a neighbour believed my flat to be empty. I had been away that month and even though I had been home for a couple of weeks as I am very quiet in my flat (no TV, music on quietly, no vacuum cleaner), so it was easy for a new neighbour to assume no one lived there. The cops said that they had been told of loud screaming and muffled sounds. I don’t think person had called emergency services as it was not treated as such; it was a visit a couple of days later. I remember feeling a smile form on my face as I was trying to think what the police were talking about and then it occurring to me.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 479 (view)
I caught a women I've been sleeping with inserting my used condom inside her
Posted: 11/5/2012 5:08:28 AM
I have no idea what the legal grounds would be, are there any set one? I doubt this is something that comes up leagally for there to have any known grounds. It would be worth trying comparing yourself to a 'sperm donor' if she became pregnant but looking along forced donation or something. Or something within Human Rights, having your rights of choice abused. This is wat she has done. A good lawyer might be able to put something across on these grounds. Sperm donors don't pay maintenance so why should any man that becomes a father under these circumstances. I'd avoid press coverage as it might plant seeds (if you pardon the pun) in other women!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 27 (view)
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/5/2012 4:56:08 AM
No need to ask the number question, just to get tested. The number won't make a difference to whether a person would cheat on someone if that is at all a concern.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 125 (view)
Posted: 10/31/2012 7:46:17 PM
Yes, as long as you are not being decietful it is fine to have more than one bf or gf.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 78 (view)
men in lingerie
Posted: 10/31/2012 7:39:31 PM
It would turn me on. Tights with nothing underneath would be fun, I could bite them away!!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 51 (view)
Getting in a car with a guy from on this site
Posted: 10/31/2012 4:23:47 AM

I will always risk looking like a crazy nut job to ignorant people of no consequence if I think what I say might help someone, even if it helped someone that thought I was nuts for my tip.

I think it’s nice you’re trying to help, but I think people are trying to tell you that you can be even safer without taking such drastic measures by simply using common sense and boundaries. It could also be said that they are pointing this out because they want to help you, as this FBI type of behavior is a bit out there and unnecessary.

If you ever come across a serial killer he could easily take advantage of your precautions by using a stolen car etc. It just blows my mind why anyone would not just meet in a public place during day time with your own ride. A mature, reasonable and understanding person will be able meet you under these conditions, don't you think?

I take peoples points on some things being a little extreme or overboard. I understand that some people trying to tell me that one can be even safer without taking such drastic measures by simply using common sense and boundaries. Using precautions deemed drastic does not mean the person has not also used precautions more usual.

However, when some people communicate their views in the way some do, any true message gets lost. Unlike yours HSS that gets through as it is put sensibly without the apparent need to put down.

I have not seen all comments, if there are others that relate to what I said so I am sure there are other sensible replies not needing to put down.

Taking a photo of a man’s car or using an app to let a friend know where I am and whose car I got in is not something I always did or do, just something in random moments where it was unexpected as I’d not known I was going to get in his car or even that they were coming in it.

It is more accessible for me to photograph (given processing issues I have as part of an impairment) rather than search for a pen and paper, write and then text, which I find difficulty coordinating with. It is the same impairment that makes me unable to drive; which is why I don’t have my own transport.

I did say in a previous comment in this thread that a man could hire a car under a false ID but it is not highly likely so taking the precaution of taking his number plate in any way is not going to make one unsafer than not taking it. I don’t rely on that one precaution. Of course other more usual precautions are taken as well!! I always meet in a public place; but no, not always during the day. Not all the date activities are daytime ones. One could say that if a man had bad intent that he might try during the day it might be less expected so a woman mightn’t be so on-guard.

I guess there are many, many ways to take precaution not just few. Just because one way is used it doesn’t mean that others haven’t been!

As technology progresses there will be more ways but as society doesn’t progress in maturity much but it, seems, regresses, people will still be influenced by films and fashionable clichés that have people forgetting to use their own minds. So therefor it will become fashionable to consider people are being extreme, crazy etc for taking ‘extra’ precautions in a random unexpected moment. Society will perhaps never grow out of the paranoia of someone using a device to take photographic detail to pass on to someone. Terms like ‘bunny boiler’ are misused because it has become fashionable to accuse someone of being one if they text too soon after meeting, phone instead of text, communicate one more time more than the person accusing them, or perhaps even take a photograph of the car one is about to get into. It really is a strange society we have become!

Most of my dates in the last 3 months or so have been during the daytime and a lot local. Though a choice to take a ride to another venue as the one we were in was too loud for my condition was based on it being a little over the top once we had already spent time in each other’s company to walk whilst he drove to the next place.

Sudden change of plan is a thing I have difficulty with as my overall condition (to which the others are part) is Asperger’s Syndrome By the time the car situation arises the man has usually known I have AS and has been understanding and accommodating of my quirks.

Perhaps some precautions are over the top but it helps me feel more secure and thus relaxed. Having AS I need a man to be a man more than women do averagely. Part of that is to be understanding of my needs. I have no worries about it being off-putting as if it is for him he is not suitable for me. It sort the boys from the men in my mind.
Luckily I have mostly met mature men who have not had a problem and have even said it was a sensible thing to do.

And I’m sure I’ll get comments from people about my having AS and how it relates but I’ve heard them all before and am rather mild and adapted anyway. I have learnt the basics of body language manually (it is often not a natural ability with AS) though I have the common sense and logic to realise that people can fake it, even crazy people H0wAboutIt. Also that it is not always possible to see body language.

When a person is in a car it can be hard to see body-language, especially if there are tinted windows. So perhaps H0wAboutIt you should teach your daughter that if she hasn’t worked it out herself, which I can imagine she has as it is rather obvious. Culture can make a difference to body language too even if some things are universal. Body language shouldn’t be taken as gospel even if it can be seen clearly. Which is not always the case.

A man can refuse to give his reg number of course and I understand that he might feel the need to do so. Though if he refuses then I can choose if to meet him or not – it is very, very simple and really not a problem

I refused to go to meet a man from the UK in his Spanish home he was leaving for the next day and had invited me to. The reason I gave was he didn’t give me his addresses and scan his passport as I’d asked to as a precaution. “I wasn’t going to go even if he had” as he might have a false passport. I think it was just a case of the pompous man (once I spoke to him on the phone) being insulted that I didn’t trust him after weeks of exchanging messages and then hearing how posh he spoke on the phone and that he was 60. But I did tell the website he was on “just in case” they had had complaints and concerns from women about him. Perhaps I was being over cautious there as well!

Thank you those that truly comment out of concern rather than a need to feel better about themselves.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 40 (view)
Getting in a car with a guy from on this site
Posted: 10/30/2012 2:11:49 PM

You sound like a nut job. What in the hell is wrong with you?
IF ANY woman asked for my registration and started photographing my car, I would end the date immediately. What kind of loony paranoid crap is that?

DID YOU KNOW that there are women who are just as IF NOT MORE potentially harmful as these allegedly crazy men that women like to invent on these forums and across the dating world? Try the girl who once tried to show my photograph to a guy to beat me up because I dumped her after the second date... she invited me to a party thinking I'd fall for the crap... So yeah...go figure...
There are plenty of incidents that show men have just as much to be worried about if not more.. The thing is that NEWS like that DOESN'T SELL so it rarely makes the NO you will not photograph or have my registration..

PAY ATTENTION to COMMUNICATION, BODY LANGUAGE, AND ACTIONS as that WILL tell you whether or not you are with a PSYCHO. If you are UNSURE ..READ BOOKS on the subject... I've read at least 20 books on body language. it does WONDERS..

Keep this stuff up and years from now some of your friends will be putting this on their page:

-------|||------- Put this on your
-------|||------- profile if you
---|||||||||||--- know someone that
-------|||------- died of old age
-------|||------- looking for their
-------|||------- perfect match
-------|||------- on a dating site

Men that I have asked for the registration number and those whose car I photographed had the maturity to understand why. One even said that he would advise his also dating daughter to do the same if she was going to get into a car of a man she'd just met. The last man I was seeing told me off for not taking enough precaution with him (I'd not asked his car details or proof of address for our 2nd date and he was picking me up to go to his town).

The difference was these men were mature 'men' and not 'boys' that haven't yet gained the wisdom of a life-experienced man. If a male is so paranoid to not see that the precautions taken are better than simply getting into his car without any precautions then he is simply not date worthy anyway.

He might possible worry that a woman might use the registration to find out where he lives by hacking the computers that hold that info or bribing it out of an employee but wouldn't that be a little paranoid!!

I don't know your age H0wAboutIt but I assume it to be too young to have a daughter old enough to date. If I am wrong then it is from your 'apparent' level of maturity demonstrated in your post (including but not limited to the cross thing) and from your username that I take the clue (correct or not) from. And also of course, that you bothered at all to have a go (rather feebly I might add) at someone that is trying to pass on a tip that she thinks might help someone one day.

There are threads where if you need to boost your self-esteem you can do so, like you have done, but give some thought to what the thread is about. This thread is a chance for people to share tips (taken up or not). If a tip helps only one person then isn't that good?

I will always risk looking like a crazy nut job to ignorant people of no consequence if I think what I say might help someone, even if it helped someone that thought I was nuts for my tip.

Phone caller ID, applications and the internet has revolutionised the way we live but it has also turned people paranoid where other people use the technologies to try to keep safer than without it. Also people’s influence by some films has made it fashionable to label people negatively for being cautious. So now we are in a societal situation where some men (women too) act on paranoia above being a mature man that should use his maturity to make a woman he is meeting for the first time feel safe or understand that a woman might take precautions for her safety that are perhaps a little out of the ordinary because it has not yet become standardised but the only ones she might have at the time. A mature man with wisdom wouldn’t get paranoid about that. An immature person might.
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