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 Author Thread: Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 192 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 12/20/2012 9:20:03 PM

pulling out the old we have a longer life expectancy card now are we? Kind of desperate don't you think? That's great, you all get to live longer in your depressed and alone and unfit, disabled states on average than we do. Wow, you even get to enjoy much more time than we do in nursing homes. I'm really jealous.


I suppose after a certain point... it's those little pleasures in life that get us through the day.. have any preference in flowers? lol
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 187 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 12/20/2012 9:58:17 AM

Hi Rusty. Long ago my mom told me its a man's world. Really sorry you were born with two X chromosomes. Oh well, life is a baitch, but we have to live with the cards we are dealt :-)


..... and I see you took it to the bank.
The up side is that we get the last laugh at your funerals. ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 185 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 12/20/2012 9:11:52 AM
I was responding from one stereotype to another Rear.....what selective hearing you have, and considering that I prefaced that statement by specifying:


<div class="quote">Hate 'real' men? Not at all, quite the opposite.
What I'd say, after some years of experience in this matter, is that I emphatically 'dislike' the vast majority of men who come online ONLY to get laid.

See a difference in intention there? Although you do seem to live in a magical land where everybody and everything is just hunky dory all the time, faithful/unfaithful, however the game plays out .... hey, I'm happy for you, keep that toilet seat up. But I think if you took a poll, perhaps your peachy place on the planet isn't quite as common as you seem to assume. So talking from your experiences is just that..... 'you're' experiences, and not necessarily typical of our generation. If you haven't figured out by now that their are still misogynists alive and well and living on the big blue marble who have never changed a diaper... I don't know what to say.... you are blessed with blinders.

As for younger for sex, well hey... I'm with you there, I like them 10 years younger myself, but not because I need a younger body to nostalgically stimulate my libido to past glories, mine's doing just dandy... or a younger mind to warp to my will because I think ALL older men are asses just because they're older men. But simply because they're available and not broken or so full of themselves that they think they deserve more than anyone with a sense reality should deserve, all things considered. Being that guess what, you older gents aren't getting any cuter or more spry and definitely not randier... even though you tend to spend a lot of time 'talking' a good game. I mean why bother or rather, why don't you just fold up the tent and sit on the box and smoke a pipe, instead of drifting around out here muddying the waters when you have no intention of being anything to anybody, in or out of bed? So did I choose that? Nope. What I did choose is to live in Italy, which has it's own set of joys and frustrations... just like anyplace else for folks who don't live in some gated retirement golf community somewhere (just a guess there). Real life isn't always tidy or convenient for everyone.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 183 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 12/19/2012 11:20:13 PM

Hi Rusty. If I were a social scientist, I would like to do a study about older women, what happens in their lives to make them hate men, why they have such narcissitic tendecies.


Hate 'real' men? Not at all, quite the opposite.
What I'd say, after some years of experience in this matter, is that I emphatically 'dislike' the vast majority of men who come online ONLY to get laid.. basically because they are a self serving and ego obsessed bunch, who rarely have a conscience or a plan B. Yet on the other hand, I pity them for spending an entire lifetime forcibly led around by their d**ks instead of being capable of using any of their other higher cognitive processes when it comes to women.


I wonder if it is a question of hormones, experience, a combination of both. I wonder what percentage of women think the way you do. You indicate most women do so. I would tend to agree with you,


Oh please... are middle aged guys still beating this sorry excuse? I'll agree on some level that our uteri are a royal pain in the assets... believe me I would love for you guys to have one for a couple of years, to get stuck messily ejecting unused eggs, get pregnant so your belly can stretch to contain a good sized watermelon and then have to extrude it over 12-24 hours of excruciating pain and then have your life irrevocably altered minding and protecting this very breakable bouncing continuance of the human race. For a young woman a screw is never JUST a screw but a possibly life altering commitment that you gentlemen very conveniently choose not to grasp... it's all fun and games for you. Well walk a mile I say.

While I understand that we are more biology than we'd like to admit.... being that men as soon as their loving wives have given birth and gone through their body changes and become 'other' focused on these fragile little creatures because no one else is volunteering, suddenly we become not quite so attractive to our life mates.. go figure?... now you feel short changed and poutingly reflect, "Where did my ME focused sex goddess go?"

But instead of commiseration on 'our' situation (maybe we're not all that thrilled with these changes either) and joining in love at the miracle of new life we both brought into this world, you feel free to offer up little belittlements, insults and derision because you don't like our post birth bodies or you want ALL of our attention and you're not getting it now or you're just a grownup needy little boy who never got enough nurturing from your mother, which btw is not 'our' fault!

So, in your mind, it stands to biological reason that you should have every right to wander and peruse the next objectification of your calling, which is propagating and inseminating... while we're changing diapers or hauling them to soccer practice or getting dirty looks at work because they call from school that a kid has chicken pox and you can't find anyone to babysit and have to go home... who handles that... You?

Then when our child rearing years wind down and the uterus bids us adieu... unasked for and messily as usual. Instead of grasping hey... it's a new world, we'll soon be FREE and can finally enjoy life unencumbered, come and go as we please and screw to our hearts content if we've a mind to.. the kiddies have finally flown the nest... so let's make plans for the next phase! Instead you guys are hot on the trail of the next new fertile fix.... even if once again, you have no desire whatsoever to deal with those same pesky annoying ramifications. The gods laugh... but we women think of it as a betrayal.... because our years of sacrifice to others has no reward. And then you have the gall to want to be coddled without understanding or coddling back? Well you know my answer to that one.... you reap what you sow.


which is why I often caution guys to be careful out there, know what you are getting before you get involved, and to go younger whenever possible. The younger you go, the less chance of damaged goods imho.


Darlin' You and you're kind made us who we are.... you are the ones who damaged us... by your lack of supportive mental and emotional presence. You can call us damaged if you've a mind to.... but I call it finally being wise enough to know a selfish greedy duck when I/we see one...... it's quack and waddle give it away every time.

Will your type ever be rationally capable of being more than your biology? It's doubtful.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 180 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 12/19/2012 9:55:22 AM
True rearguard, and its less likely to happen for a woman who deep down has disdain for men. That kind of attitude is hard to hide.


Oh get over yourself timeforall.... you have no idea who I am. For what I appear to be well, I simply have the politically incorrect audacity to say out loud what most women discover after a year or 2 online... for the most part you guys have the virtue, spiritual and mental depth of a d**k. Btw I read that stuff you wrote about wanting to be nurtured (coddled, soothed, appeased?) and my response to that is.... grow up, duh, here's a news flash.... it's not all about YOU.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 179 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 12/19/2012 9:44:32 AM
Trouble is, Rusty, it takes years to get a relationship to where you want to be. To get there, you got to start somewhere nowhere near your goal, and figure out how to keep it growing towards where you want to be. I doubt you will fine it falling out of the nearest tree.


Well it sure does end up being nigh onto impossible.... especially if everybody's stuck on being born again Peter Pans till they croak lol.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 157 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/18/2012 11:34:25 PM
I've seen this same thing over and over again...... and men seem to biologically fall for this wolfess in sexy sheeps clothing act and then end up blaming ALL women because this happened to them.... at least in your coworkers case he had known a decent marriage before and so understands that it was this particular toxic woman who caused the damage. Damn shame.



abuse can reinforce the bond between people

I'm sure it can and does.... but a really sick one! Victim and sadist and vice versa.
I always assume when this happens it's either an abusive level of comfort or just having a very weak sense of self and what is healthy. We are complicated creatures.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 176 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 12/18/2012 11:05:46 PM
Hey I'd love to meet a nice healthy, active, enthusiastic 61 yr old who can keep up. But as the OP mentioned, they're NOT looking for me are they? lol

Then I read this on the "Have older guys given up" thread:


Well. if you can tell me what a man has to do to meet the requirements of the modern day female , I just might keep trying .

Seems to me , the modern day woman mostly has what she wants , and just wants a man to service any needs she might have from time to time .

Sorry Ladies , that goes totally against the grain of nature, and will never work .
I've seen the guys that succumb to this new lifestyle......and I feel sorry for them .They seem to have little self-respect left.
Basically , what I'm saying is , it's all about you , you, you . And the man comes a very second, second.

Good luck with that , as yes , I've given up .
All you see here is a lot of people who seem to be trying to find someone to vent their frustrations at having to be single .
If you are all so happy in your new life , why are you wasting it here?

You wanted the man to respect you , but you forgot to respect the man .


Hmmm.... service her needs from time to time? I can say the same for most of the men, they either want someone 10 years younger to be handy maybe 4 times a year, don't want an actual friendship and all that that entails, want us to forgive, forget and politely work around or not mention that they have health issues... and think they should be 'respected' just because they're male. Why? Do you respect us just because we're female? It's pretty obvious you don't, but of course not... because respect isn't a given by gender... it's EARNED.

We're at a different stage of life, the birthing years are over, we don't need a good dad for our kids now. We've raised and nurtured for decades and have finally come to the point that we have free time and can actually do things that we like to do instead of always being obligated to fulfill the role of wife, worker, cook, house cleaner, mom, grandma..... so while we may not NEED you in the old way... we do still WANT you as another equal, who is at the same stage of life, with the same types of memories and experiences, who has learned who you are, isn't threatened by the new us and is prepared to accept us too as unique and individual people for this last ride on the trail from birth to death.

Do you have some curiosity about us and what we bring to the table... or do you just want to put us in that convenient old role of cook and bottle washer, you Tarzan and I'm Jane cleaning the tree house? Because that's not what I'm looking for now. I'm looking for another free spirit, side kick and partner in crime who is ready to grab what's left of the pleasures that we can enjoy now; travel, camaraderie, sharing books, films, experiences and a few adventures, a little glee and happy companionship.... and yes sex and a sense of pleasurably belonging and living these once again new freedoms together. None of these things automatically require legal paperwork or that you have to live in the same house full time.... don't we both have too much stuff for that? If per chance we meld well, then who knows... but frankly that's not at the top of my to do list these days.

I understand that there are all kinds of men and all kinds of women.... but this is what I would like now.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 178 (view)
 
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 12/18/2012 9:55:33 PM
I'm with you SB, I won't go anywhere on a first date that isn't in a public place, or get in their car for any reason on a first meet.
I have done food courts at a mall before simply because they're usually easy to find and you can walk around there if you've a mind to or have something to do after, if it's a bust ;-)... but I do think that some guys really don't understand about our safety concerns... it's rarely their problem. I've never had any issues so far by keeping with this 'public' routine.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 175 (view)
 
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 12/18/2012 12:15:25 AM

Then again, I don't get most of you!! When I returned to dating, I simply took up where I left off. Which to me means, I don't do coffee meets, because I don't wish to be grilled like some guy in a police station.


I just read this on another thread which seems to tie in here... I also prefer a quick first meet over a dinner date.

Probably because it eliminates the whole 'beholden' factor.. I won't be pressured into feeling guilty that I 'owe' you (however you visualize that) for your time and expense if you do want to pay.... and I don't want to be stuck with you for 2+ hours if the vibes don't jive.. or find that you have a need for an ear to talk AT about yourself and your feats past and present (something older gents seem prone to do). Coffee is easier, quicker and more flexible.. if we do get along, great, we can extend as Bella mentioned.

Yes I do ask questions, as far as 'cop grilling' that would obviously be in the eye of the beholder. And yes, I am there for a reason... to see who you are and how you interact with ME, not for mindless chit chat, a pastime, the illusion of a date or to be obliged to listen to you through 2-3 courses.... my time is precious and wasting it with people I've very soon discovered I have no interest in, just silly at this point.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 493 (view)
 
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/17/2012 9:37:45 AM

So angel, what you are saying is just because he is "rude", you have the right to be rude too. She could have at least said: "you are drunk, I am hungry, and I am going home. goodbye". Leaving without a word is juvenile, rude and offensive. There is no excuse for it, but women are often mean and offensive because they feel they are entitled to act that way. I have said this before and will again, its often about them. Women are often heartless. And that's pretty funny because they are supposed to be the compassionate sex. But they are not. And then after they are alone and reach their sixties, all they can do on these boards is rant about how rotten guys are and how all they are interested in is sex. Those women never recognized that they made their own beds and that's why they are still alone.


Are your ears still ringin', face flushed.... balls sweatin' cowboy? lol
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 492 (view)
 
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/17/2012 9:25:52 AM
Don't shoot the piano player dear ..... I was responding to TraveliciousGuy.... not you, so cool you jets tiger, I get that you're on a roll! Lol

So to all the guys who think getting asked to dinner and then dinner not happening because some of you were too cheap or drunk or not hungry enough to pay for it.... why does that make us gold diggers? It's just logistics and a empty tummy... because duh.... we didn't eat BEFORE because we were invited out to .... wait for it..... dinner.

People really shouldn't automatically have knee jerk reactions without hearing the whole story... sheesh.

Then again I must be a real dumb chit.... because I often offer to pay my half... but then I don't live in the states and here most everyone is strapped for cash these days (they make a whole lot less money than in America and most work 6 days a week for it). So I guess I'd rather eat in good company than not at all. O:-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/17/2012 6:44:59 AM
Whatever you say darlin. Unfortunately for you, you will never know me well enough to having even coffee, let alone a date or roll in the hey.


Well h'a'y..... did you actually think I'd give diddly damn there lil'Jasper, king of the one trick ponies? lol Shall we call that a blessed promise instead of an empty threat? ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 143 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/17/2012 12:16:03 AM

??? Are you Italian? I thought Italians were generally considered thunderous, intensely affectionate, dramatically involved with family, and place family above all things?


Lol Well there's the north (where we're closer to Germany and Austria with borders bouncing around over the centuries) and then there's the south.... here they're much more restrained, worldly and modern. ;-)
And frankly none of Italy is in the same mental place it was 50 yrs ago or what we accept as a 'cultural type' of the old time Italian immigrants to America that we've known who got stuck in a time warp from a place that no longer exists. You never cross the same river twice.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/17/2012 12:05:10 AM
dancer, its totallity of her posts overall that reflect signficant anger towards men. As for requirements, you can have as many as you want. I have been amused by the various "requirements" of so many on a dating site . . only problem is that its hard enough to find that special person you want to have a relationship with. When you start prejudging everybody by silly, nonsensical requirements (as I interpret most of them), you may be excluding those few people with whom you otherwise might click. My requirements are simple. I need to be attracted to the woman and we need to click. We probably won't click if she is not intelligent, attractive and personable . . but I have no specific requirements otherwise. This bull about widowers, divorced, never marrieds, certain age parameters, etc. is all garbage as far as I am concerned.


Now Time for ALL.... think for a sec.... if every woman you met wanted you to 'just' take out the garbage, wash the car and clean the garage with absolutely NO SEX, how thrilled would you be? From you're MO it's pretty evident that 'those' types of things would make you pretty angry... wouldn't they, if that's the only kind of woman you ever met? Why, because you're in the gravy business.... you want to get laid, that's it. So anybody voicing our female reality must be angry... if we don't want to 'just' get laid right?

"My requirements are simple. I need to be attracted to the woman and we need to click."

That attitude, while not unusual in the least, but still damn self serving in an adult male over 17, is simply indicative of a man who has no clue or interest in women... who they are or what they're about. Fundamentally because we are 2 different creatures with 2 different outlooks on what makes for good, better and great sex. Most women like intimacy and belonging and most guys love the state of their appendages more than anything else on earth... do you give a rats patootie about OUR stuff and what excites and turns us on, outside of bed I mean? Because really that's where our excitement starts and stays alive. Naahhh, pretty doubtful. Oddly enough after constant repetition.... this starts getting really boring to us.

So, angry? Well a bit...... but really more disappointed than anything else, that grownup males after living most of their lifetimes, really STILL haven't evolved enough to have a clue or give a damn about what moves us. If the contract of a boff is supposedly for having 'mutual' pleasure.... somehow it seems that most of us women are the ones getting short changed. Get it?....... Now go clean the garage. lol
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 489 (view)
 
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/16/2012 10:25:14 PM
TraveliciousGuy

How is that possible with all the supposed "pre-screening"?


Sometimes guys can just write a good game... you're up front and they say they're on the same page as you as far as directions go, so you give it a shot and then when you actually meet up and see the whites of their eyes across the table.... you grok/understand that they are just another serial dater who simply has a virtual word routine that gets them to that coffee date.... some more.. or others much less civil and polite... just part of the process that can sometimes end up being a big disappointment, because honestly, most of you have one direction only in mind...it would be amusing if it wasn't so damn common.

I don't think that a lot of 'Nice Guys' grasp that most men will say ANYTHING they think you want to hear to get laid... which of course makes our job of 'discriminating' that much harder.

Now I think that I'm a good screener and I'd say that I have a 98% success rate in having a pleasant event, even counting the 2% who end up trying to grope lol. That doesn't mean that most of them get to that eventual belly bounce they are so wishing for.... simply that we had a civil fact finding exploration in real time, between 2 adults, about who we are and what we want and discovered if there is any physical and/or mental attraction and a reason for future pursuit of anything more. Isn't that what a coffee date is for?
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 472 (view)
 
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/16/2012 12:38:48 PM
I have no prob paying 4 my own food or eating out ALONE, so If I am gonna do that, it's not gonna be w/ some ole fart cheapskate leering at my bod, making comments about my perfume & hair, etc. CHEAP is CHEAP, ladies, why do we windowdress it w/ a zillion excuses? There is a REASON why these men are alone!


Lol ! Hey the attention spans start to wain after 55 girls... the goal comes and goes and it doesn't look like their memory's are too good either, they get tired poor babies. Plus your final point was more than probably, right on. ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 135 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/15/2012 6:14:36 AM
Everyone has their selection criteria... and it doesn't get any easier as we get older... here's my list:

No 58 yr old single dads with 10 year olds, I've already raised my kids.
No over 45 single men still living at home with their parents. (quite common in Italy)
No men who are incapable of anything more intriguing than just a screw.
No drama... jealousies, silences, constant talk about your ex, sniveling about your aches & pains, rants about 'other' people.
No expecting me to read your mind or feelings without opening your mouth.. I have no desire to be your mom, exwife or your shrink if you are incapable of knowing who you are or what you want at 50+.
No assuming you know who I am and what I want after one date.... or presume that I want to marry or move in with you.. it's the farthest thing from my mind... you're probably not 'all that' anyway... and I've got too much stuff.
No expecting me to buy your bull as if you're still 18 and I'm 15... too late, I've heard it all, more times than I can count.
Have half a brain, at least the remnants of a heart and know who you are ... be a grownup or you'll flat bore me to tears.

Fortunately the family situations in Europe are much less dramatic than those in the states, for the most part they are quite civil and allow you your privacy once you are adults... at the most, some presence at holiday dinners, if you can make it.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 561 (view)
 
bald guys
Posted: 12/14/2012 2:08:17 PM

The shaved head looks so much more clean and polished... literally.


I'm with you... I much prefer a nice tidy buzz than dealing with the insecure comb overs or wispy shedders leaving hairs all over the pillows... euwww. Just buzz or slick up and let the damn stuff go... look at it this way.. it's a sign of good testosterone ;-).
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 554 (view)
 
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 12/13/2012 3:21:46 AM

I think a big part of the problem-if it can even really be called a problem!-is that when we were in our late teens, early 20s and we paired up with someone, we were still somewhat pliable in our hearts and souls and we sort of molded together whiel we grew as people.
When something happens to split up that pairing, its' not always quite as possible to re-mold to someone else. And trying to do that can prove to range from uncomfortable to downright painful. A lot of people finally just kind of back away from that whole process. This does not make them bad, wrong, defective...it's just a choice that some make. Then there are those who seem to expect that somehow or other they can re-enter the dating scene while hugely damaged and that "finding someone" will magically fix all that damage.
That don't work either.
No matter what you decide to do, it's a challenge...either dealing with rigidity and damage, or adjusting to being a solo entity in a culture that expects people to be pair-bonded.
Cindy O


All quite complex and real issues.. and I think if we've been around awhile in this venue, we've seen just about every conceivable variation on these themes. The challenges indeed ARE many... but quite a bit more self knowledge about our baggage could help all of this along. An open mind and being in the here and now, acknowledging that uprooting homes, belongings, family and a past are often very near impossible for some.

So for crying out loud, we all need to be more flexible in what could be defined as "Pair-bonding", both men and women.... make an effort to grab what can reveal itself to be the optimum situation with what you have to work with. It's not black and white, one way or the other or... do or don't... but finding the place where you can meld comfortably in a way that enhances both of your lives with the least possible strain.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 553 (view)
 
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 12/13/2012 2:55:11 AM
Rusty, why do i feel that being involved with you would be a battle? You need to chill out. Older guys aren't looking for a war just for a relationship.


Lol it's not a battle in the least.... IT'S OUR REALITY, the battles are what you guys are fighting... the fear of being more than just c**k that walks, it's you all who are in constant fight or flight!

For example: "timeforall isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment." Quoted from your profile.

Need I really say more? Nookie plain and simple. Trust me we get it.. and we're also getting damn tired of it... and what's also really odd is you want us to ACT as if we're madly in love with you for a 'couple of hours'... Oh please... you seriously have to pay money for that sort of performance. Now if you really thought about it, you'd get the part that those highs don't come for free.

Now as Cindy mentioned... I'm also not looking for a full time in the house man... been there and really, I like the bathroom all to myself! BUT..... I do want a friendship which entails what used to be known as 'caring' between 2 people and not just an exchange of body fluids. An exchange of thoughts and ideas, discussion, cooking dinner, weekends away and those enjoyments that used to include peoples pleasure in another persons company...I really don't even give a rats patootie if you f**k around... but... when you're with me, YOU'RE WITH ME in the vertical as well as horizontal positions and are capable of being more than your appendage and can manage to offer up some HUMAN caring and interaction. Put your paranoia in your pocket, I have no intention of confining you, I hate to be confined myself... sheesh, get over yourselves, we're big girls... well I'm a big girl anyway and I don't need you to be my ball and chain either! Stop being so boringly 1 dimensional.

The fact is that everyone lives longer and more happily if we can actually care for one another, it's not brain surgery.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 546 (view)
 
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 12/11/2012 10:16:26 PM
All of our days are numered. As for my old soldier, i expect it will be in good working order into my eighties, because i take good care of myself. And i hope to keep on using it. No blue pills here..


Whatever you say darling.... ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 545 (view)
 
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 12/11/2012 10:13:01 PM

I will just take my time dating again and really get to know the men so I do not end up with the wrong men. I am ok with being alone but it would be nice to found a good decent man. If I can not find the right men then I will stay alone.


Uhhh Hun? Hate to tell ya but, the 'right men' are happily spoken for.. and what's left out here in the Matrix are here for one thing only.... so don't hold your breath! You can pretty much count on being alone, because most of these leftovers basically dislike women as people or why wouldn't they have one of their very own, they get to do the pickin' don't they? It's not like there's a shortage of ready, willing and able females wanting to hookup for that Oh so dreaded 'Relationship'. Nope, the preferred MO is being busy little bees, flitting from flower to flower to.. flower ad infinitum, when THEY feel like it.. no pressure to perform outside of their hinky time schedules, no responsibilities and god forbid.... no commitments. Trust me, it will all become perfectly clear after a bit. Lol

Reality bites, but there it is.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 538 (view)
 
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:50:26 AM
Yeah well there will come a point when even outer attractiveness won't get a rise out of that old soldier kiddo.... while some of us old broads keep goin' and goin' like Everyready bunnies.... now isn't that ironic lol? In fact your last hurrah at 52 is about my preferred age... slowing down enough to take care of my business and not quite dead yet, still.. your days are numbered, so enjoy them while you can... after that it's just slippers, memories and porn. ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 536 (view)
 
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 12/10/2012 9:43:42 PM

I would say that you are dead on with you view; I fall into the second been divorced for 12 years now and I really value my freedom. I was married for 20 years and when I got divorced I did exactly what you said like a kid in a candy store, must have dated 50 or so women over a 2 year period. [B]Then for a couple of years I went through a stage of dating that would last for 9 to 12 months or if it started to get serious then I would back away. But I keep telling myself that I just haven't found that prefect match yet, but then I think there-in lies the problem looking for the prefect match and we all know that perfection doesn't really exist. So where do we go from here, just on and on.[/B]


I think Cassidy's paragraph is pretty indicative of men over 50... those years of that kid in a candy shop mentality (we know it well), then seeking some magical ideal of 'Perfection' because with all the possible options, why not? Then panic at the thought of an Oh so confining 'relationship'... and finally, just flat STUCK where they are while what's left of your time on this mortal coil trickles away..... and guess what, you're not getting one minute younger or handsomer. I say get over it and Carpe Diem, times awasting.

At 50, 55, or 60+, the odds of anyone hitting 'perfect' in the looks department starts getting downright laughable.. frankly it's a crap shoot with men or women, some are blessed with that golden DNA and others look 2" short of the grave at 48. So who is ready to deal with annoying reality? And yet men still seem to obsess about the visuals, while handily avoiding looking in their own magic mirrors which seem to conveniently stop seeing their real selves past 35! I think women are much more realistic about our looks and yours, because our damn mirrors live pretty much in the here and now.. we DO see every change, line and droop, some of us accept it and some don't manage that so well.

But if we all know the carcass is in decline, one would think we'd start opting for that more useful stuff called an 'inner spirit'.... don't they say attitude is everything? Then why do so few value a wonderful attitude towards life, a hard won glass half full, the ability to be in the moment and see where we can go from here to squeeze every last drop of the myriad pleasures that these poor old bones can still manage.. from hiking to Timbuktu to a nice satisfying cuddle at the end of the trail? Aren't those things so much more pleasurable in 2? We can make that choice... if we want to.... but I do believe that it is a CHOICE... because the default mode would be going to work then sitting home perusing female objects while eating a tv dinner and not just getting old... but getting flat, nostalgic of old glories and worse, just plain numb and boring... don't you really want a bit more than that before the final curtain?

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love." ~ Tom Robbins
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 213 (view)
 
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 12/1/2012 1:15:41 AM
Hmmm... what I'm seeing here is a lot men trying to blame women for their supposed 'bad' choices.... but aren't these the very men who are here and now professionally single or gleefully divorced.... but who really are NOT even remotely looking for any sort of 'relationship' on a so called dating site? They want a screw.. that's it.

The fact is that these days, there are many mentally healthy, smart, pretty, warm sexy women who are single and looking, at whatever age.... and I'll take a wild stab here with the reasons why. They are a threat to mans sense of supremacy, all the old stereotypical roles have fallen and the men can't seem to get up to match the challenge of a savvy intellectual equal who sees all too clearly the justifications for self serving behavior... and as you can see here, revenge is sweet when they can dump all the fault in these womans laps instead of owning any of their own.

So what do they do? Either serial date everyone with no intention of connecting to anyone, send away for what they think will be some sort of subservient mail order bride or.. marry homelier and dumber, knowing that those will kowtow, stay home with the kids and not make too many demands or threats in what should be a reciprocal coupling between 2 equals.

If you just thought about it for a second you men would understand that a strong on many levels woman, should make both of you stronger and NOT weaker, just by knowing that you have someone to share the burdens and joys in the trenches of life.. why can't you just relax and enjoy the stimulating back up instead of sniveling about some loss of worn out gender status? Is it really so hard to be more than your vengeful appendage?

How many Peter Pans does it take to create the 'illusion' of a dating site where the men might actually be in the market for a connection? Millions... and connecting to another human being is the farthest thing from most of their minds.

So ladies..... IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, this is the way it is... so don't delude yourselves for too long that you are actually here dating with the goal of an enduringly pleasant and more permanent outcome. If per chance serendipity actually does allow a connection, the odds are probably about the same as winning a powerball lotto lol !
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:48:57 PM

Agreed. Perhaps a "facelift" would be the better solution for a woman who's repeatedly encountering this issue with men in her age bracket.


Ok Barbie and you're only 53, so I assume you'll be keeping the nip and tuck folks in business for a very long time... and I can see where having a sugar daddy would come in handy, but guess what darlin'? I hate to tell ya, but you still can't stop the rot on the inside. ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:33:30 PM
Nope those have been pretty general experiences with men MY age in my dating pool... including thinking they are gods gift with a list of picky preferences like..... "looong hair because it's more pleasing to them". lol

But as usual you gentlemen have a hard time dealing with Our facts of life nor do you care or bother to! But yep it's true, I'm a mouthy ol'broad, I'll own it... but after 5 years in these loony bins so called 'dating' sites ... let's just say that you guys pretty much broke my 'man smoother' ... so go pick on the newbies, they buy all that crap.

And as usual........ YOU MISSED THE VERY PERTINENT PUNCH LINE at the end... Wow, how typical is that?

Ahaah..... sooo you dated a 100 women Henry..... and not a single one of them was allowed to be more than a temporary piece of meat? How in the world did that happen??? But then again isn't that exactly what men use these sites for.... a conveniently free "Whores* FoR* Us" pit stop? Oh please.... put your wounded, outraged pride back in your pocket and own it for what it is.... staggeringly self important and self serving.

And I thank my lucky stars that I've got my fella... he's part time but blessedly came without a single BS bone in his body and from duh... REAL life, where there are still a few up front honest people left. So I won't be too awfully disappointed missing out on your wonderful self. But thanks for the site tip.

Cheers ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:26:35 AM
Oh hogwash... I've had male friends both platonic and sexual...I think it's all a question of mens infernal c*cks, especially after 50 when they're starting to feel the first signs of those "stirings" (as has been defined to me ) NOT being quite as Johnny on the spot as they used to be... at that moment you guys become simply OBSESSED with the little Johnny lol!

Testing him, experimenting with him and doing all those things you think you might have (heaven forbid) missed.. next some juicy porn that wets your appetite for some young things who you think will bring him back to his former glory......when that isn't enough, then the kinks start "Oh yeah let's try 3 or 4", some S&M.. maybe an orgy or 2?!? Until finally you come to the realization that hell, you'd need a hydraulic lift along with the little blue pill to have him rise to the occasion maybe 4 times a year...and that for most intents and purposes he has sadly become a reference point 'nostalgia' of that ever ephemeral 'stirring' taking roost in your memory banks ;-).

Now, if none of that kills ya with your diabetes, seen or unseen heart conditions, in shape or not, while on the great quest.. you'll opt as a last resort, for TALKING about sex on the internet, giving advice, sarcasm, blaming the women you think you have known or.. acting so very savvy, literally swathed in earnest braggadaccio, weaving complex and vertiginous stories of swashbuckling romance and seductive conquest... then being forced to find the excuses you need if someone is tempted by your tales and ends up pressing you for a real face to face meet with this perfect Don Juan di Marco that you've created across oceans and time lines... and then... you, not surprisingly, exit stage left.... fearfully knowing that your fantasy cover will be blown.

And what might be missing from this search for that precious tumescence? Maybe it's those little things that so many women know in their bones... that most excitement starts in the head, the heart and the soul.... that somehow or another you've forgotten that you're not a dog... but a human, with the gift of reason, fantasy, touch, creativity, spirit and yes, even those risky emotions that you try so hard to deny. Sex is always more than just biology, so when did you guys start forgetting that? Or that someone loving you and loving back can feel wonderful too and could actually produce 'stirrings' that last long into what's left of your future as a whole and complete human being.

Jmho
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:10:52 PM

But are we getting also less flexible?


Depends on what you mean by flexible?

The way I've seen it... I'm a hundred times more open minded, well rounded and flexible than the men I meet in my dating pool (which is pretty restrictive unfortunately), cultural personalities differ from country to country. Although seeing the posts from the ladies here, the male of the species seem pretty consistent as far their general directions at this time of life.

Friendship first has always been at the top of my list, which to me doesn't seem all that stressful and yet...... somehow that seems to produce a death knell response.. you can actually see their faces droop in disappointment, apparently 'friendship' is much too much effort to expend considering their target destination for bothering to date at all lol.

Have another take?
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/27/2012 11:35:17 AM

I just looked at your profile, you’re 53? It is not going to get better. Men (all men, young and old) want to be with a woman who excites them physically. They want to look at her and feel a stirring below the waist. This has nothing to do with when or if you have sex, it’s just a matter of wanting to be with a woman who makes you feel that “stirring”. The good news? You can make men feel that way. Do not cut off all of your hair, men love long hair on a woman. Do get rid of the hair on the upper lip. Do not dress like Aunt Bee on Mayberry RFD. I could go on and on, but I’m sure you already know what I would be saying.

If a man looks at you and feels that excitement, he will not care about your chronological age.


Did you really just say that out loud? Do you even realize exactly what you said.... or how we women would assess that pitiful, self serving, doggie declaration? I'm smacking my head... seriously! lol
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:05:24 AM

not enough time for what? We could all die tomorrow or on 12-12-2012 :P

We could have died at any point ...or is this another of the finding someone to grow old with...we are already old...I want someone to be young with


lol... Boy you said a mouthful there!
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 168 (view)
 
It does not make either any better or any worse.
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:29:35 AM
You know lightninbug.... if you are a single woman and never been married?

I don't think that that is quite the same situation as the mens. Many women sacrificed a lot to be professionals 30-40 years ago, I didn't check your age, but I know that my time was full of many barrier breaking firsts... first woman holding a mans job, the first to chip away at that glass ceiling and be recognized, gaining respect and credibility.. all while wading through the endless daily misogynist muck. They worked longer, harder and put up with so much more than todays women, to get where they finally arrived.

Plus it's not like women can fall for a guy, whip out a ring and have that dandy little option of saying "I pick you above all the rest... let's give it a shot", a damn shame too lol. So while women are the sexual gatekeepers, it's normally the man who gets to drive us down the lane with the one sided advantage of having that key to unlock the front door to our future 'home sweet home'.... so a whole different set of circumstances.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 165 (view)
 
It does not make either any better or any worse.
Posted: 11/27/2012 2:00:39 AM
Thx, Smart Blonde ;-). And you are so right, there are many marriages that fail through no fault of the woman... or even men sometimes. S**t happens that are deal breakers and sometimes marriages just go as far as they can and then peter out.

I've often noticed that the men who complain the most about women and marriage, are the ones who married for ALL the wrong reasons... ay Deedier? You picked her, not us lol... and if you keep having the same negative situations with the women you know or meet? Look for the major common denominator in all of that.... ahhh... I believe that would be you.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 161 (view)
 
It does not make either any better or any worse.
Posted: 11/26/2012 10:50:43 PM
I know why I prefer someone who has been 'happily' married at least once in his life:

* They usually like women... being as they actually married one, and committed to all that entailed ie; falling in love, going where that takes you, marriage, babies, minivan, sacrifice for the mutual good, waking up in the middle of the night, responsibility for and with others, usually liked being a dad, don't go all squeamish when a baby pukes on them.... and know how to roll with what life dishes out within a family.

* They've learned to share; time, attention, the ups and downs, the bathroom, their razor and their space with others.

Now if some 50 year old has never been married BUT has had a long term live-in relationship, then that's about the same thing.. except that it also tells us he still always wanted an easily accessible back door.

* The thing with permanently single older guys is that they usually have wanted EVERYTHING THEIR WAY for 50+ years, so why would they 'easily', even if they think they want to change.. any of that for you? They've become set in their ways and will probably find fault with how you do things.... simply because it's not how THEY do things... which would create issues... a lack of flexibility. You always get the feeling or at least I have, from those I've known, that just the idea of being a couple is almost too much pressure to bear, they don't seem to be able to just let go and dive in in a free way... well other than the sex anyway, but just don't start leaving your stuff around for convenience sake. lol

Now having said that.... MOST MEN THESE DAYS have discovered the internet and are clicking themselves to libidinous excess and forgetting there's a hell of a lot more to great sex than just being present in bed. What I see is a pack of BORN AGAIN BACHELORS who want to keep it that way, no matter how much they may snivel about how awful we women are!

Some think they've done their time in marital prison and now want only the gravy without having to take care of the business of standing even 10" from the stove ;-).... while I'm not all that different in that I never want to 'marry' again but.... I'm still willing to stand over the stove and savvy enough to whip up a damn fine Hollandaise for the blessed guy who's got more than one dimension to him. So where are they??? Some of you have said that the women think they're 'all that'... but what about you one trick ponies? My take? Sour grapes....just because most women won't put out when you want them to... without a little human emotional consideration. Now where's a good emoticon for sticking your tongue out when you need one? lol
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 100 (view)
 
”waste a whole lot of time flitting around like a born again teenager and then end up croaking alone..
Posted: 11/25/2012 10:20:07 PM

"all I want to do is grow old with you"..still like that song, and incidentally like how you write rustytraveler, but some of us aren't ready for the rocking chair, just yet, well maybe sometimes, yes life is a gift...and to get with the program is to accept where you are in life and roll with it, but, never say die..not yet anyways..


Oh fer goodness sake, that was a tad presumptuous... do you know me?

At your age I sold up a business and everything else and moved to Italy with a 10 yr old... within 5 years I bought derelict, remodeled and sold a B&B, now if that's a rockin' chair life, well.... it's been a turbo charged one for a whole lotta years lol.

I'm always in motion, well traveled, well dressed, well read, well wined and dined and have had more than my share of Peter Pans striving for the Holy Grail of the next best lay they can find... while forgetting that yes.. life really is finite and should encompass a few more of the other joys and pleasures that once might have included that feared and dastardly sentiment... a 'relationship' :O..... this is where two people meet, are capable of liking each enough to actually want to risk SHARING their next great adventure, as a team.... together.

So I'm still rockin' alright.... it's just that I'm in the market for something a bit more sensible and convenient than serial one offs with gentlemen who think they are born again teenagers who'll live forever... when frankly their shelf life is iffy at best. ;-) We ladies do live longer ya know.

It seems you completely missed my drift.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Do people over sixty still think they can have a new life???
Posted: 11/25/2012 1:01:45 AM
It seems to me that most people I meet are looking for a person to grow old and die with. Am I alone or are there others out there that still think of the future as a great and exciting place to live.


I suppose it depends on what you think would be a great and exciting quality of life existence?
I don't think it's all that unrealistic to keep tabs on where we are on the time line... as opposed to floating around pretending that we'll live forever... it's not like you've got another 40 years of free time ahead of you to figure it out again now do ya??? ;-)

Growing old is a fact of life, knowing that we are finite is a given..... how we choose to live these years is entirely up to you/us... just don't forget that you could waste a whole lot of time flitting around like a born again teenager and then end up croaking all alone. :-P
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/25/2012 12:24:32 AM
Harder? No I don't really think so... more self aware, savvy in general and certainly more guarded about jumping into situations and people without some good reflected consideration.... but isn't that what living and learning all about? The old "Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me".... I think is pretty much indicative of older and wiser daters.

Shouldn't that make sense to everyone? We're not kids with just a back pack, a degree and a ticket anymore.... most of us are earthbound somewhere to either people or place or both, so it's not just a matter of finding someone that you jive with enough to risk a last love (which is hard enough in itself).... but then having to deal with all the logistics of where and how to deal with the blending of 2 lives burdened with misc. 'stuff' .... and frankly I really have come to the conclusion that, after 5 or so years on online dating sites..... most simply opt out of ever having to make that decision and I'm always quite amazed when some actually manage to pull it at all!

In this 5 year study of my and others response to this age/date/connecting dilemma... I've discovered that 'most' (not all).. men will pick the sporadic 'sex only' option over much of anything else.... while women still have wistful feelings of belonging and connecting and hopefully having some great intimacy and sex as the frosting on the cake... for the ride home. Now now, I don't presume this to be an absolute... just a general average, before all of you get too outraged that of course, that is NOT YOU ;-).

On some level all of this is quite amusing to the gods of fate.... the big pink elephant in the room of THEN putting our sexual peaks and valleys at different ends of the spectrum... while it was all quite handy for procreation at the optimum health point of the human body, dumb but fertile youth. It is hell to pay when we get older.... because really, some women do arise from the hot flash crucible of menopause.. renewed and Oh so liberated from those pesky birthing and childrearing responsibilities, to find themselves oddly and surprisingly randy... while the men of our age, on the other hand, are reaching the valley of their sexual facility, even if their interest does remain. Aii chihuahua! Now if that isn't a conundrum for the ages!!! What does one dooo.... aargh!??

So if you're wondering why things seem sooooo hard and complicated with this connecting people thing at a certain age... ya just have to remember that we are just another species continuing it's evolutionary march into the future and we're just stuck here at this moment in time... dang it.

At that point you really have to decide what you're willing to deal with to get what you want.... or throw in the towel.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 263 (view)
 
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 5:08:07 AM
My goodness Cap'n, you are wet behind the ears aren't you? Here's a clue.... if they look to easy to be true? It's a scam. lol

Oh for crying out loud, why is this site so anal about post lengths? I think I'm still being punished for 3 yrs ago... 3 strikes and my one liners are still keeping me in jail. Aahahaahaa ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 261 (view)
 
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 12:49:19 AM
Working for me? Ah well..... I've discovered after all these years, that even right here 2 steps from decrepithood, I could still have all the one night stands that any one person might possibly want to handle... but other than keeping the pipes clear and circulating?
No.... not much at all in terms of something a bit more engaging from the waist up. lol
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 472 (view)
 
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/24/2012 12:34:26 AM
Well I haven't read this entire thread... but I'd say, hell no. Even if they don't have a picture onsite I certainly make sure that we see each other in real time on some sort messenger cam. Why in the world would I inconvenience myself to meet someone sight unseen and then be forced into a position of being uncomfortably disappointed... or for that simple practicality that I wouldn't even be able to recognize him?! :O
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2011 2:11:32 AM
Try meetup.com.... a place where people get together based on mutual interests... not dating. What a novel thought ay?

From quilting to motorcycle riding, skiers and surfers, language or country aficionados.. to dining and cooking.. seems the sky is the limit depending how close you live to a larger city, look it up.... if I lived in the states I'd give it a whirl.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 1/8/2011 2:10:52 AM

because you are attractive woman of course it easier for you, but look at the other threads where the woman is " below average" in looks, or Obese or a woman with 6 kids, does online dating work for them? for most no, Those that ( online dating) works for are usually attractive, articulate or just sometimes Mother luck plays a role.

For the self proclaimed " nice guy" online dating is torture to some of them and none of these saps can figure out why. Especially the men over 50 years of age.


Lust isn't that hard to come by.... but what the Iceman said is pretty much right on.

As far as the nice guys go... haven't seen all that many, but if they do appear they too are homely as posts, poor as church mice or looking for someone to cook and bottle wash and push their wheelchair.... ANY female will do, personality not required.

All the rest of the 'studlies' of a certain age are dipping in a different dating pool.

But I'm sure this subject has been worked to death.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 149 (view)
 
Celibacy - a more common choice than people admit?
Posted: 10/25/2010 2:28:33 AM
damassteel:

Cat Eyes, I think more accurately you've chosen NOT to choose. You have as I'm sure you already know, limited your choices to the point very few men will fit your exacting criteria for height, build, weight, hair, and sexual preferences.
JMO, the oral sex prohibition is a major buzz kill for a whole lot of otherwise suitable candidates(but you knew that already).


.... reality is so messy and fantasies so perfect and pristine
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/22/2010 2:56:16 AM

Reading these boards has been quite an eye opener. It seems these boards are often (although not always) about rancor and sarcasm and him versus her and adhominem attacks. You would think that people trying to make an good impression on the opposite (or same) sex would be far kinder, sensitive and gentler than many people here. You would think by the time a person is 45 that they have learned more to go with the flow rather than constantly be formenting drama.

This is the bottom line. Do looks matter? absolutely. Does intelligence matter? Of course . . . a smart, educated person wants the same in a partner . . but what matters the MOST? ATTITUDE ATTITUDE ATTITUDE. If you are angry at the world, angry with your lot in life, mean, miserable or a drama queen (or king), you can forget about having a decent relationship with anybody imho. Positive attitudes will take you far. Negative attiudes will leave you trailing in the dust. Its a fact of life.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5um8QWWRvo


I'm not sure whats worse, finding a bunch of mature adults attacking each other like children or going to some of the other threads and reading about how size does or doesn't matter, or how to perform certain sexual acts, or who appreciates getting pictures of nude guys via email. I mean these boards are nuts.


Oh who knows... maybe voicing disillusionment and bitterness are part of the process of getting back into the dating scene, downsizing, unemployment, foreclosures.. a less than felicitous retirement. Once people are over it... they move on if they can, OR they learn to wallow in the anonymity and stay stuck there for years and years.

On this point I'm not disagreeing with you at all, I think many of us are just as insulted as you are... but this seems to be the unfortunate nature of the beast.... or maybe we've been programmed to accept the mediocre and less than optimum as our pitiful due.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Couples 45+
Posted: 10/21/2010 9:47:05 PM

Ok so the earth is round, the sky is blue and water is wet. So basically your conclusions to this "day of people watching" is that people looking for relationships tend to take care of themselves better, dress better and are more concerned with their appearance than those who are in long term relationships. That is not exactly 6 pm news material is it? I think I could have slept in saturday morning and came to the same conclusions.


There ya go.

But let's also mention that there are cultural biases as well... not every country or neighborhood is the same, even from one end to another. Very slim is also media propaganda ... we consume what we're told to... just look at the fashion industry and their impossible position on selling anorexia as a fashion statement, while the average woman is size 10-12-14. My theory is that it's all part of the love/hate relationship that gay guys in fashion have for females, golden coochie envy with lots sour grapes as far as I'm concerned . Or you could also say there are public personas and couplings and private ones.... and that styles change depending on the era and economic fluctuations, a lot of men in poor countries like fat women... because its a sign of plenty... and the way we're going in the present recession.... fat might once again become fashionable in America .
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Over fifty ~~ best sex in or out of a relationship?
Posted: 10/20/2010 9:47:25 PM
4 all seasons

I added the bolding to emphasize the author's intended scope of discussion (in a very direct way). The text in Msg: 60, "In general, then, one can say that men are very sexually "reflexive" while women are apt to be more sexually "reflective" is otherwise misleading, especially to a 50+ audience.


It doesn't really change much 4, whether 15 or 50+, capable or incapable, this is our genetic programming.

The point being, that it's easier psychologically and more common in general for males to want 'reflexively' sex partners than to have a relationship (procreate, procreate procreate) ... taking into consideration variations on a small minority of individuals. And yes, maybe even more so after 45, with the post divorce shell shocked, loss of freedom phobic or born again 17 yr olds.... just the way it is right now. Unless it's the incapable 60+ who just want someone to cook and clean for them.. with maybe a snuggle thrown in, and even then... preferably younger and attractive enough, at least to them.

Just sayin'..... women should stop bustin' their noodles over it.... this is how it works... we'll just have to learn how to deal with it in a way that can accommodate our heads, hearts and jojo's, separately ... and explains why there is this endless Mars/Venus conundrum, discussed ad nauseum and beaten with a stick. We've got to stop 'Reflecting' and wishing it were different... it can't be... except by divine accident... sorta like winning a very big lotto, and we know how often that happens right?

 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Over fifty ~~ best sex in or out of a relationship?
Posted: 10/19/2010 10:55:23 PM
Actually find this more on target even if in a roundabout way:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201009/why-men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends

Especially this:


In general, then, one can say that men are very sexually "reflexive" while women are apt to be more sexually "reflective."

This helps explain why men often misread women's friendly signals as invitations for sex and why so many women are shocked when a male "friend" comes on to them sexually. Interestingly, the recent trends of "friends with benefits" and "hooking up" seem to acknowledge the sexual gravity that exists within heterosexual relationships. This, in turn, allows many people to be "friends" without pretending the sexual elephant isn't in the room or to simply have casual sex.

[bold]Unfortunately, for the evolutionary reasons outlined above, "FWB" and/or "hooking up" is usually okay with men while most of the time unfulfilling for women who, despite their seemingly casual sexual encounters, are genetically predisposed to cultivate deeper, lasting relationships.[/bold]
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Over fifty ~~ best sex in or out of a relationship?
Posted: 10/19/2010 10:28:46 PM
I tried the link but it wouldn't work to this article/study.... but frankly think it's hogwash. Will try to break it down later to see if I can find it.... in the meantime:

I have found quite the opposite in real life talking to real women.... other than it could certainly apply to MEN not women. More wishful thinking on the males part?

Anyway couldn't check the link to see who did the study... but it's probably sexually biased.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Dog gassing me out!
Posted: 6/5/2010 10:13:36 PM

Help - My adorable little dog is NOT smelling adorable. He seems to have a major gas problem, and is STINKING UP MY HOUSE. Really - it's bad. I need a remedy quick, besides opening windows and using air freshener. I know he's not sick - we've been to the vet at least 3x in the last 2 weeks. So what can I do to help him AND help me?? We haven't had any major diet changes that I can think of.


Human table food makes dogs fart ... keep him on dog food and it shouldn't happen.
 
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