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 Author Thread: Should I stay or go
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Should I stay or go
Posted: 1/1/2010 12:38:58 PM
before leaving... you should really first evaluate whether or not there was a reletionship of substance to begin with... Have you stopped connecting? Has it gotten stressed with the issues that "life" will and does bring to every relationship we are part of? Where is the real problem? In you both failing to communicate? Have you become hurt or some other emotion that keeps you from wanting to cntinue to connect and reconnect with your present partner? In every relationship each has to bring a commitment to it, and that's only possible if you both know first who you are, what you bring to the relationship. Then, what does the other person bring that makes you desire to be with them... I'm a firm believer, and presently in a very healthy relationship because I did my "own" work first, then, connected with a man who has done his "own" work, and together we're committed, communicating and compromising, in order to create, exist, and build a meaningful, loving, trusted and respected relationship with each other.

And, it's working... I would only EVER consider leaving this relationship if, he started withdrawing from me, closing me out, losing the connection after doing anything and everything I could do or try to do to reconnect with him... And, we've talked about that too... The "what if's"... what if either of us lost our way to each other, that it is our "own" unselfish desire to not let the hurt of it close us off from each other, and work toward our common desire and goal of living in and loving in a healthy relationship...

We've talked about ALL issues, openly and without fear of exposing ourselves, our wants and needs, our past experiences, our fears... and then, all possible components of them (within our ability and experience to have some foresight of what to discuss) point I'm getting too... We've talked about every possible issue that a couple should share one's thoughts, desires, beliefs about. Love, SEX, children, grandchildren, families, furthering education, vacation ideas, where and what each other enjoys and "see's" in their own future... What being a "couple" looks like and feels like...

And, I have to admit, most men (most woman too) are not raised to be as involved when talking about these sorts of details with "honesty", we're just not raised in society that way... but, then again, I wouldn't be committed to one who didn't want too seek the depth that is needed to understand one's self, let alone another.

Just my 2 cents...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Any helpful information about traveling/sight seeing in Peurto Rico???
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:41:43 PM
Hi peoples...
Going some place WARM for 8 days, looking for some helpful information about getting around the island of Peurto Rico, things to do that maybe locals/seasoned travelers would suggest, places that are "must see's" and maybe some suggestions on "good eats" and "happy hours"... Traveling with 3 other people, wondering about liquor prices, cigarette prices, toiletries... thinking of buying all our shampoo's and toiletries after landing, instead of all 4 of us packing it in the suitcases...
Staying in Rincon. Traveling Jan 9th - 17th. Thanks for helping me out!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
2008 Dec 11-14... Galveston Bike Ralley... any info???
Posted: 11/12/2008 1:56:08 PM
Hi peoples,
I tried reviving my post of last year, looking for any "updated" info about the ralley taking place Dec 11-14 2008...
No takers... LOL...

Looking for any info that might be helpful, have been looking for a place to stay, obviously, they are limited.
Any suggestions of places to stay during this year's ralley?
Maybe someplace close to Galveston that would not be too far to make day trips back and forth?
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Puerto Rico, Rincon, Lazy Parrot Inn...
Posted: 11/12/2008 1:48:54 PM
Thanks so much!!!
I really appreciate any info passed on...
I did do a number of web searches, got some mixed reviews, hoping to get a little info from peoples who have stayed in the area and can suggest some local "must see's and do's..."
Thanks again
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Bike rally in Galveston...
Posted: 11/12/2008 12:11:19 PM
Hey peoples... Thought I would try this before making a new post!
Going to the bike ralley again this year,(Dec 11-14, 2008) of course we know the Hurricane hit, and we're looking for some info of places to stay close enough to travel in and out of Galveston (we haven't really had much luck finding a place in the city limits) for day trips...

Please offer up any suggestions, they'd be so greatly appreciated!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Puerto Rico, Rincon, Lazy Parrot Inn...
Posted: 11/12/2008 12:06:48 PM
Hi friendly POF'ers...
Need any helpful advice about traveling to Rincon, Puerto Rico.
I'm traveling there early-mid Jan 2009.
Any helpful information on the "Inn" we're thinking of staying at (Lazy Parrot Inn), local sights to see, best beaches, helpful "DO's and DON'T's" would be greatly appreciated!!!
Of course, like most everyone, we're traveling on a budget too...
Thanks so much for any info...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Looking for someplace warm and relaxing in south USA for December vacation.
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:24:28 PM
Hey peoples... I'm looking for someplace warm, relaxing, and not crowed for a December vacation somewhere between Dec 19 through Jan 5.

Will be traveling from south central Pennsylvania, and would like to drive no more than 10-12 hours. Looking for someplace warm, and not crowed.
Maybe a quaint B&B in a small beach town or a cabin on lake?
Have any suggestions of where to go?
Open to other vacation ideas too!
Thanks.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Water Fasting--who has done it?
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:43:05 PM
Not for nothing... But, back at post # 4 the original poster was the "first" one who introduced Christianity/religion into the subject. Her words exactly...

"Obviously you people don't know what the bleep you are talking about. Even Jesus and Moses fasted. Are you questioning them?
Get a life."

That statement would lead anyone to believe that she was backing up or supporting her decision of undertaking a "successful" water fast on more than just physical, scientific, or nutritional information. That statement involved a direct reference of two different biblical "figures" obviously living through their fasts, as their stories continued further into the Bible.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Nerve Pain
Posted: 8/10/2008 8:05:39 PM
Poster, you should look into a procedure called... Radiofrequency Ablation.
I'm not sure if it could help you with your pain/problem, but it's worth looking into...

In 1991 I was involved in a very traumatic MVA (I had too many injuries and broken bones to go on and go about on here). My injuries left me with chronic pain issues in certain areas...

After years of suffering with my chronic pain (and getting as much relief as I could with anti-inflammatories, pain medications, meditation, relaxation, refocusing, bio feedback, self hypnosis, etc.), I was finally sent to a pain specialist.

My pain doctor, after some inspection, thought that my inner hip/groin pain could be controlled by a procedure called Radiofrequency Ablation, or RDA (RFA as both terms apply).  

This procedure can be performed on many different areas of the spine, and I have read about it also being used for chronic pain/nerve damage in the neck area.

The procedure has been a MIRACLE for me !!!

For over two years I have been completely pain free of that constant aching/nagging/burning/debilitating chronic pain that was present 100% of the time in that area. I can honestly say for me it worked... since the procedure, there have only been 3 times that I can remember some type of flare up (due to over excertion/exhaustion or some form of physically working/abusing my body in that area). But with rest, the pain subsided entirely by the next day.

I've pasted a few links below if you'd like to research this procedure for yourself... the first one being the best I've found to explain it in detail. A brief description of the procedure, which is similar to my experience, but, not completely the same follows after the links listed.

***best link I found

http://www.eorthopod.com/public/patient_education/6953/radiofrequency_ablation.html


***other links

http://www.paincaredocs.com/RadiofrequencyAblation.ivnu

and

http://www.spina-forum.com/index/sf_pag_treatments_options/sf_pag_treatments_options-surgical/sf_pag_treatments_options-surgical-discectomy-2/sf_pag_treatments_options-surgical-discectomy-open-radiofrequency-nerve-ablation.htm


Description... Radiofrequency nerve ablation is an outpatient procedure that aims to heat a specific nerve that supply the facet joint (source of the pain). With the heat the nerve is temporarily deactivated and the pain signal is interrupted.

Surgical procedure: the steps.

The procedure is performed under live video X- Ray to constantly verify the position of the needle.
A needle is inserted through the back and an electrode is then inserted through the needle.
Radiofrequency current is sent through the electrode to the tissue causing the tissue to heat.
The nerve is temporarily deactivated, as well as the pain signal.

My procedure was slightly different from the ones I've read about on these sites, mine was done in two different visits. I did experience the worse pain after the initial procedure of my doctor going in to mark the nerves. It scared me so much that it took me another 3 months after the initial marking procedure to commit to having the burning done...

The second visit is when he actually burnt the nerves, within a few days, I was totally pain free in that area.

Hope this helps some, if you have any questions about my experience, please feel free to ask me.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Water Fasting--who has done it?
Posted: 8/10/2008 12:52:57 AM
sahasrar1000-- I'm not here to give you a hard time, really I'm not...

But, I can't help but think if you are basing your bodies ability to withstand this length of fasting, being without proper food and nutrients on biblical reference...

sahasrar 1000 wrote... "Obviously you people don't know what the bleep you are talking about. Even Jesus and Moses fasted. Are you questioning them?
Get a life."

I wonder if you've taken into consideration that the days in which both Jesus and Moses did their fasts... Our bodies were so much closer to perfection. Their systems, their bodies were more pure than ours are today.

Years and years of toxins, pollution, and genetic deterioration have taken a toll on our ability to sustain it's self as compared to the biblical times.

I'm sure this is too will be argued, but, I'd hope you give it some consideration...

Here's a little info if your interested...

Let's take a look at the different types of fasting in the Bible, because I don't want you to feel overwhelmed by the thought of going without food for days and days. There are types of fasting that don't involve such a radical commitment. The Bible gives examples of many different kinds of fasting. (The terms "normal fast," "partial fast," and "radical fast" which appear below are not Biblical terms. They are entirely of my own making and simply a way to categorize the different fasts we see in the Bible.)

The Normal Fast: There are very few rules when it comes to fasting. What you do is really between you and the Lord. There is only one fast command in the Bible and that was the fast on the Day of Atonement. This fast was from sunset of one day to sunset of the next (Leviticus 16:29;23:32). Since, people usually don't eat during the night that makes the fast fairly easy, since you can eat again in the evening before retiring to bed. According to the Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible: "The rabbis ruled that one could not eat a quantity as large as a date on this day...According to the Mishna, Yoma 8:1, on the Day of Atonement it is forbidden to eat, or drink, or bathe, or anoint oneself, or wear sandals, or to indulge in conjugal intercourse" (Zondervan Encyclopedia, vol 2, 502). Of course, this direction is not from the Bible, but perhaps we can look at that as a template for a "normal fast." So in this type of fast the person abstained from food and liquid for a period of one day (from sunset to sunset). This is a normal fast.

The Partial Fast: In this type of fast, the emphasis is placed on restriction of diet, rather than abstaining completely from eating. Examples are: Daniel, Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego eating only vegetables and drinking only water (Daniel 1:15) and later on when Daniel alone practiced a limited diet for three weeks (Daniel 10:3). Some people would argue that this isn't really a fast at all, but Daniel 10:3 does use the word "mourned" which is a Biblical occasion for fasting (see below) and a common synonym for fasting.

The Radical Fast: This type of fast is one in which the person refrains from both food and water OR simply food (but not water) for an extended period of time. A radical fast can be harmful to your health and in most cases should not exceed three days. An example of a radical fast can be found with Esther and her household. Esther decided to fast for three days abstaining from both "food and water" both "day and night" (Esther 4:15-16). The rabbi Ezra and the apostle Paul also went without food and water for three days (Ezra 10:6-9; Acts 9:9). David is another example of a radical fast. He went seven days without food (but probably with liquid) as a plea to God to save the life of his child (2 Samuel 12:15-20). Fasts that extend beyond three or seven days can be found in the Bible, but these exceptions were based upon direct guidance from God or a supernatural ability given by God to complete the fast. Examples of these extreme fasts are: Moses (Deuteronomy 9:9-18 and Exodus 34:28); Elijah (1 Kings 19:8); and Jesus (Matthew 4:1-11).


Biblical fasting is "not eating" with spiritual communication in mind. How do we know this? Because Biblical fasting always occurs together with prayer in the Bible - ALWAYS. You can pray without fasting, but you cannot fast (Biblically speaking) without praying. Biblical fasting is deliberately abstaining from food for a spiritual reason: communication and relationship with the Father.

Just my two cents...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Calling all health nuts -- your advice please
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:57:32 AM
I would definitely have your thyroid checked, and not by your GP... Go to a endocrinologist, for 8 years my GP told me my thyroid was fine, as the tests they took, did always come back in the "normal" range.

I knew something was wrong, and made an appointment to see the specialist. She took more intricate tests of the levels of the thyroid, and found that the medication I was put on 20 years ago, was way too high, and it was doing what I was originally put on medication for... My thyroid had shut down (again) due to being over medicated.

As for the no carb/low carb diets... it's my experience from family and friends... that the Atkins or similar type diets only work well with the certain blood types that do well with less carbs...

I'm one of them... I'm "O" blood type, I do great on the low carbs diet... no bloating, lots of energy.

My son who is an "A" blood type... needed adequate grains/carbs to fuel him for energy, he was also a very cranky bear without his carbs...

There is much truth to the book "Eat Right For Your Blood Type", I do not follow it word for word, but found it great to set up some guide lines that I have found beneficial, but step out of them occasionally...

If your serious about this, please do have your thyroid levels check by a specialist... I thought in my "gut" there was something wrong with "why I wasn't loosing more weight", I worked out hard for 6 months, ate a very healthy diet, and still I wasn't losing as I knew I should have been. I remember the doctor showing me what my levels were, they were something like .72 when they should have been .12... and yet with the other tests, my GP said and showed me the levels were "normal".
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Liquid protein question? what about Hydrolyzed Collagen Protein?
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:21:09 PM
I drink water constantly (though out the day), guessing about a gallon of (distilled) water a day, sometimes more... I'm taking in anywhere from 1000 to 1400 calories per day depending on my exertion levels. I work out 3 days a week, those days I'm on the higher end of the above mentioned calories.

I eat 2-4 times a day (besides the liquid protein) meaning the Greek yogurt w/ fresh fruit as one meal, maybe a bowl of organic oatmeal (1/2 cup serving) w/ 1/2 cup skim milk as another.

Usually midday is when I'll have my largest meal. I usually eat 2-3 ounces of protein, 1/2 cup of some carbs/starch, 1/2 to 1 cup fresh or frozen veggies.

LOL, I eat sardines packed in water (often), and maybe 1/4 cup of nuts, or whole grain crackers, when I'm not able to eat a complete midday meal...

I do lift weights (only barbells right now) for bi-cep definition and tone. I use the weight machines all 3 days, with anywhere from 65 to 85 pounds, no free weights yet, as I have to build back up on my chest muscles to bench decent weight without looking like a winnie in the gym... Smiles... but, soon I'll tackle the weight bench again.

Thank you so much for the GREAT article! I really appreciate it.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Liquid protein question? what about Hydrolyzed Collagen Protein?
Posted: 7/18/2008 12:37:03 PM
Hi peoples, some of you have given me really great advice on protein powders, but, I'm staying away from the skim milk, and getting my calcium and some protein in fat free Greek yogurt and low fat cheeses these days...

I was worried about losing muscle and being nutritionally lacking/unhealthy. I was also experiencing low energy at times... I noticed that even though I was eating less, the scale was standing still (I've already lost 90 pounds in 7 months time), and I knew that the body does slow down to "adjust")... but, I knew I wasn't eating enough protein, so off to the health food store I went... and what I came out with was...

LPP hydrolyzed collagen protein (it's a thick liquid).

It has 15 grams of protein per 2 Tbs. only 60 calories, and the bottle says "contains predigested whey protein, a source of high quality amino acids with B-complex vitamins". and, "the protein used in this product is hydrolyzed collagen and whey (lactalbumin) protein and is therefore utilized 100%."

I take it every morning just from the bottle on a spoon, and then sip on my hot tea sweetened with stevia and very little honey... I sometimes take it as a protein replacement if my meal was more veggies/cheese, or, at bedtime if I've not eaten the amounts I should have...

I'm completely satisfied hunger wise and my energy levels are back to normal, I'm also working out in the gym 3 times a week, (about 30 mins total machine time), on 7 or 8 of the machines, doing 3 sets of 10. Then I do at least 15 min on elliptical, and 20-30 min on treadmill...

I know there's a lot of people who know about "proteins" and I really would appreciate any feed back/advice you might have to offer on this type of protein... I was wondering... should I wait to drink my tea for any certain amount of time after taking the protein?

What or does anything effect it once it's consumed?
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 156 (view)
 
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:43:33 PM
Forgive me for not reading through all 22 pages of this post, but, from what I did read, I didn't come across a post that said this yet... I'm sure it must be in one of those 22 pages somewhere...

I've been so annoyed at times, when I have made an honest mistake when meeting a guy and had some detail or another wrong.... And have been sharply, or even coyly, answered back, "Wrong guy."

Could it be that we just got confused? Could it be that we just misunderstood, or even jumped to the wrong conclusion...
Why do some guys "get off" in saying... WRONG GUY... (I'm sure there are some women who do it too.)

I'm sorry... but, I'm human.
I make mistakes,
and I get confused sometimes...

Just my 2 cents
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Senior Students, 6 day Trip planned, need food suggestions...
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:08:04 AM
Hi peoples, 6 Seniors off to the shore for the week...
Looking for crowd pleasing ideas, quick and easy meal suggestions they can throw together. They're staying at a condo with complete kitchen, not sure just how much they want to be cooking? Asking for some quick and easy ideas to get them started on menu/food lists. Maybe easy crock pot supper/chili recipe ideas too!

Thanks a whole bunch!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 227 (view)
 
teaching/learning to play guitar
Posted: 4/13/2008 12:05:22 PM
Thanks guys, that gave answers to my questions. I appreciate all the great advice. I signed up for some lessons at a highly recommended place of instruction/supply.
Have a great summer!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Seeking... Basic, very basic guitar instruction material, any suggestions?
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:53:16 AM
I have read through quite a few suggestions about how's, what's and why's of guitars, but in all my reading I haven't come across (at least not yet) a suggestion for learning to play basic guitar...

I'm asking for something to help me learn right from the get-go... I've got no instrument/music reading experience, nothing...

Is there a book "Learning Basic Guitar for Dummies" ? I'm thinking that's where I need to start? I got a few books from the library and I started to learn just the PIMA, tried adding cords, got lost (finally figured out where to put to put the rest of my fingers).

Can anyone suggest a very illustrated book detailing all the majors and minors on the guitar as well as with hand placements?

Last question... sorry if it sounds like a vanity question, but, I keep my nails medium length, should I trim them down or will it become easier to manipulate the cords as I get use to playing?

Any (serious) suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 222 (view)
 
teaching/learning to play guitar
Posted: 4/2/2008 2:36:43 PM
Want to learn to play acoustic guitar, any easy books/videos that fish can recommend?

Okay, I've got the guitar, and now I have to either find a place for lessons, or learn on my own... I'm thinking the latter will be more difficult.

But, I'd like to fool around with maybe a video or a book to "feel" it out before investing in the lessons, has anyone self taught? Can you suggest any books or videos that made it seem easy to grasp the basics?

PS... I just did a thread search, and found this post in the forums. I haven't gotten the chance to read all 10 pages of posts, but I will... if anyone has anything more to offer... please do.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Hilltop Inn - Elkton/Fair Hill, MD. Friday, April 4th
Posted: 4/2/2008 2:06:38 PM
I'm hoping to come, did a map quest, looked at the website, bringing a (single) girlfriend, that's okay right? looks like fun!
A little nervous as it's my first POF event, Hope to see you all there...

Daisymoon... Does the band play all country? Do you know if they play any old school/rock?
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Any type of powder protein more easily absorbed & utilized than another?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:32:32 PM
satx78218...
I tried to e-mail you, but your not accepting mail from people my age.
Really, I would have preferred writing you privately, as you somehow "assumed" that I cut something out of my body... I wrote quite openly and honestly about which procedure I had done, I'm sorry you didn't read/understand my post...
I have no regrets, I'm down 51 pounds to date, and so much more happy and healthy.

I really want to thank everyone again, for all the helpful information...
I'm getting plenty of protein.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Anyone know about gastric bypass surgery?
Posted: 3/22/2008 10:07:12 AM
I did have a "lap band" procedure done on March 6th, 2008.
I'm just now feeling "back to myself"... I expected to jump right back into the activity in my life, thinking "I'm a trooper" I can handle this too...

There was so much judgment attached to making the decision to use this sort of "tool"... I, myself had to get over the guilt of feeling like I was "taking the easy way out". Those are the statements that I've heard over the years concerning these procedures.

When I did seriously start to research this procedure, and shared it with family and friends... the hardest part of it all was having them tell me "your not heavy enough to have it done..." and "you've lost weight many times before..."

Although the doctors do expect a certain BMI, they also look at how long a person has struggled with the problem, family history, medical conditions, and many various other aspects of a persons health and well being.

I guess I'm trying to encourage anyone who feels they are just not "heavy" enough to have it done, to research it, and if you honestly feel you need this type of "tool" to help you achieve better health. Go after it...

The first information session I went too, the doctor actually said in the intro, "Anyone here think this is the easy way out?", and, "think this is a magical cure to your weight problem?" He turned and pointed to the door, and ask them to use it... he said "this is only a tool, it's like any other tool, if you don't use it, it's not going to help..."

I'm down 47 pounds since making the decision to have the surgery Nov 07, I'm actively walking 3X a week, I go to the Y 3X a week to do aqua aerobic exercise classes and deep water jogging. I was doing all of that pre-op, now, I have to wait two more weeks in order to go back to the pool, and three weeks to get back in the gym and do the routines the trainer taught me to do with free weights and on the machines. But, now that I'm feeling over the hump of the healing... I'm now walking again.

I'm so psych'd... I am the lowest I've been in years, and now, I have to learn to deal with other peoples fears now that I am losing the weight, and becoming healthy.

As much as family loves us, they are also use to us acting and behaving in certain ways... Most people are afraid of, or don't like change, it scares them... I've learned that their interests can't come first any longer, it's my life that I have to protect and make healthy...

My mother was the one to (try to) innocently lay the first guilt trip on me... We went for tea the other day, and she looked over and said.... "I told your sister you're going to get skinny now, and leave us". I just smiled and lightheartedly said "well, I'm definitely going to be more healthy, and I guess if my heart leads me somewhere else... you all will be happy for me, I'm sure".

As far as the Bypass vs. Lapband...
It's really a personal choice...
For me and my interests in the holistic health food world, and the mind body connection, I just didn't even consider the bypass. I personally don't want to cut out parts of my body that I feel are there for a reason. But, on the other hand, I know myself, and I knew I could make this lapband "tool" work for me...

I don't judge anyone for opting for either surgery... whatever it takes to save your life, but with both procedures, YOU have to make it work... it is not the easy way out.

Well, thanks for letting me share... If anyone wants information about the lapband/bypass procedures I'd be happy to send some of the material I used in researching this...just e-mail
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Any type of powder protein more easily absorbed & utilized than another?
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:46:07 AM
For those wondering "why?"
I did have a "lap band" procedure done on March 6th, 2008.
I'm just now feeling "back to myself"... I expected to jump right back into the activity in my life, thinking "I'm a trooper" I can handle this too...

There was so much judgment attached to making the decision to use this sort of "tool"... I, myself had to get over the guilt of feeling like I was "taking the easy way out". Those are the statements that I've heard over the years concerning these procedures.

When I did seriously start to research this procedure, and shared it with family and friends... the hardest part of it all was having them tell me "your not heavy enough to have it done..." and "you've lost weight many times before..."

Although the doctors do expect a certain BMI, they also look at how long a person has struggled with the problem, family history, medical conditions, and many various other aspects of a persons health and well being.

I guess I'm trying to encourage anyone who feels they are just not "heavy" enough to have it done, to research it, and if you honestly feel you need this type of "tool" to help you achieve better health. Go after it...

The first information session I went too, the doctor actually said in the intro, "Anyone here think this is the easy way out?", and, "think this is a magical cure to your weight problem?" He turned and pointed to the door, and ask them to use it... he said "this is only a tool, it's like any other tool, if you don't use it, it's not going to help..."

I'm down 47 pounds since making the decision to have the surgery Nov 07, I'm actively walking 3X a week, I go to the Y 3X a week to do aqua aerobic exercise classes and deep water jogging. I was doing all of that pre-op, now, I have to wait two more weeks in order to go back to the pool, and three weeks to get back in the gym and do the routines the trainer taught me to do with free weights and on the machines. But, now that I'm feeling over the hump of the healing... I'm now walking again.

I'm so psych'd... I am the lowest I've been in years, and now, I have to learn to deal with other peoples fears now that I am losing the weight, and becoming healthy.

As much as family loves us, they are also use to us acting and behaving in certain ways... Most people are afraid of, or don't like change, it scares them... I've learned that their interests can't come first any longer, it's my life that I have to protect and make healthy...

My mother was the one to (try to) innocently lay the first guilt trip on me... We went for tea the other day, and she looked over and said.... "I told your sister you're going to get skinny now, and leave us". I just smiled and lightheartedly said "well, I'm definitely going to be more healthy, and I guess if my heart leads me somewhere else... you all will be happy for me, I'm sure".

Well, thanks for letting me share... If anyone wants information about the procedures I'd be happy to send some of the material I used in researching this...just e-mail me...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Any type of powder protein more easily absorbed & utilized than another?
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:41:32 AM
I didn't even notice there were more posts to my questions... Thanks so much, I'm researching the suggestions and planning a trip to my holelistic/health store.
I've never heard of taking some extra amino acids to replace the protein, but going to research that too...

I really am thankful for all the advice.

Oh, I just wanted to mention that I do realize that we do need some "healthy" fats in our diets, and if I'm eating a well balanced diet, I believe you get most of it from the meat proteins... even lean meats have very little, but, some fat in them. And, I also use olive oil, flax oil, I eat almonds and walnuts (the nuts and butters) sparingly...

I eat very little processed food, it has been more or less eating improperly, portion size, hormonal problems, and a way of coping...

SATX78218... I'm really interested in why or how you believe we only need 2 ounces of protein a day... I understand your statement of a diet solely of protein could/would tax your kidneys, but, in order for a person to lose fat, it is my understanding that you have to provide the body with enough protein first, so that it doesn't start to use it's stored protein, which of course is muscle?

Again, thanks for all the helpful information
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Dealing with energy loss?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:02:39 PM
Not sure if this will help you, but, it does wonders for me... It's called "Sublingual B total" Energy Liquid Solutions...manufactured by Nutraceutical Solutions Inc.
I use a dropper of it everyday, and, before all my workouts. Even when I'm under any extra stresses. I haven't been sick once since using this product for over a year now...
they have an 800 # it's 1-800-856-7040. I can only find it in the "natural health stores" the mom and pop type stores... haven't been able to find it in any national GNC type stores, or in any mall store in my area... It comes in a two pack, each a 30 supply, and costs (in my area) about 12.00 for the two pack. It also tastes great...
I've tried a few different types, I have the best energy results with this product. No racing, no jitters, I can't tell any physical difference except the increased energy, within 15 mins or so... my sluggishness is gone.
Smiles, I know this sounds like a commercial, but, for me it really works wonders.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Should the guy give up and move on if the girl can't trust?
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:33:05 AM
***Correction
My issue was trust within "that relationship" and it was real...
I've learned that his behavior was just that, "his behavior", and I wasn't responsible for his issues. Though I did try to get "us" into therapy, he wanted no part of it...
What I learned was his priorities were not the same as mine as far as "commitment" in a relationship... I had to let go, he was unhealthy...

After reading your additional posts, you both need to get therapy.
Good Luck
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Should the guy give up and move on if the girl can't trust?
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:24:51 AM
I have some similar experience with mistrust, but, not the jealousy...
My issues are with trust... making sure I'm safe...

I have always trusted, and in a past (20 year) relationship forgiven him when he had gotten himself into different predicaments that were not healthy, or when he wasn't acting on that commitment he made to us, to me...

So, If I were you, I'd first really try to see what the deeper issue is that is going on...
Seems like you have identified the problem, but, not the "root" of the problem...
You next need to find out what you "get" from your behavior.
What's the pay off? What's the benefit you get from when you act this way...

There's two theories (that I'm aware of) on solving this type of issue...

Seems like you see the behaviors/issues (jealousy and mistrust), and seeing them is only the first step... seems you might be stuck in the "first" step of identifying them.

The next step is deciding if they are justified? Is there a real reason, or experience you're not "consciously" aware of? You have to at some time ask yourself those questions, Is there a real reason/basis for what I'm feeling ... if the answer is "no", then dig deeper.

Ask yourself, what am I getting from behaving this way? When you feel jealous, what is "acting" on those feeling doing for you? You have to honestly ask, and keep asking yourself until you get an answer that gives you that "ah-ha" moment, the "light bulb" going on moment.

The time it takes to reach that moment... no one knows or can tell you how long it will take.

But, once you discover what the "pay off" is... you can then decide to do something differently, you will find there is no "power" left in your old behavior, (And, if it doesn't help the situation after you "think" you have the pay off, then you have to dig deeper...) These types of issues sometimes come in layers, uncovering another and another until you get to the "root" problem.

Next... Do you want/need to change them?
From your post it seems you do, except towards the end of your post, you write:

"I do believe him, but just won't tolerate another girl phoning him, nor allow any girl to go to his house or visa versa. Nor hang out with them without me knowing it or is there!!! Especially one's I do not know."

It sounds like "his behavior" is just "not acceptable to you", for him to have female friends that you're not involved with as much as he is...

That in it's self is not right or wrong. Seems like you should want to understand where you got this "preference" from.

Sounds like your saying that the way you react to it is becoming detrimental to your relationship, you wrote, he is fed up with trying to calm "your fears". You're getting so close to wearing him out with your worries and jealousy.

So, you have to decide if you really want to understand "Why you do this..." and, like suggested above, discover what's the pay off in behaving that way for you...

The other "school of thought" about this dealing with this issue is...

You decide these behaviors are unproductive to any relationship, and you just need to stop them.

Some people don't need to evaluate "why"...
They become aware of the "problem behaviors" and just want to stop them... The way to do that is...

Taking notice of when you start to "feel" the energy you're giving to these behaviors, and keep making yourself "step away", or "refocus" your energy somewhere else...

You might say to yourself... "Here it comes, I can 'feel' myself becoming anxious and jealous, and, if I stay with these 'feelings' it's going to bring me the same results I no longer want/need..."

You will have to refocus, you will have to find another thought to replace those old thoughts that are attached to those "feelings" your allowing yourself to run away with...

You have to "decide" what words you use in that "self talk" and believe them, in order to get different results from your old "unproductive" behavior.

Maybe something like... "I'm feeling jealous and anxious right now, and it's not going to get me what I want/need in this relationship, I'm going to refocus on ____________..." (fill in the blank, making it something you want to be part of your relationship)..."

Then, you have to accept it, and move on... You have to train yourself to go to the "next" thought that you have come up with, that takes you away from those "old" feelings.

You have to trust and believe that you can change your past reactions, because they are not bringing you want you want.

Maybe you'll have to tell yourself, "I'm safe, he loves me, he comes home to me, he doesn't hide his friends from me, he's been with me for 2 years, I have nothing to fear..."

I hope this helps some... Good luck on your journey, and forgive yourself for not being perfect, we're all just learning,,,
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
For Fun... List 10 ideal qualities you'd like a partner to have...[Locked - Word Game]
Posted: 3/3/2008 3:34:48 PM
I found this in someone's profile, I thought it would make a good thread, I did do a search didn't find anything like it listed... Hopefully it will be moved, not deleted, if this is the wrong place.
So, here goes my list...

These are listed in no particular order and not "must haves", just ideals... and of course not limited to "only" these qualities. Smiling...

1) He would be over 6 foot tall.

2) He would get aroused knowing that I'd always be trying to catch a glimpse of just how good his ass looks in a pair of jeans, and that it's adorable to me. We'd catch each other's glances every now and again, and smile at each other, because he'd know what I was thinking...

3) Same feelings and excitement as # 2, except he'd enjoy my "tastefully" exposed sexy (not slutty) cleavage, and sharing the same smile scenario...

4) He'd ride bike and would encourage me to get my liecense to ride.

5) He'd be somewhat social, enjoy spending time with good friends, family and me.

6) He could hold a job that he likes.

7) He likes the way I kiss the taste of beer of his lips after he's just taken a swig.

8) Truly and whole hearted-ly knows unconditional Love is a dynamic and powerful energy.

9) Is creative, thinks outside the "box"...

10) Has a sense of adventure, a willingness to explore, and to experience life and each other.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 243 (view)
 
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 3/3/2008 8:35:41 AM
Oterri, msg's 234 & 241, I'm so with you 100%

The difference between being "scarred" and "not scarred" due to the way your parents disciplined, comes down to self control. Discipline does not have to be in the form of physical abuse, and many of you are saying "of course not", but you're not the problem parents who are abusing your children.

There are some parents who do not know how to discipline, or control their children, they allow them to go so far out of control... then the parent gets angry and resorts to physically disciplining them, and that's when it usually progresses out of control with these type of parents...

The levels of frustration are so far pushed past their level of being able to handle it, they resort to hitting their children out of anger, frustration, and resentment... These parents learn to control their children with negative behavior instead of positive discipline and guidance. It becomes a cycle... the child wants attention, can't get it in a positive way, or it's not enough when the parents do try. The child's negative behavior increases due to his needs (the attention) being meet by the negative discipline.
That should just be unacceptable in our society...

Some parents don't realize why they have discipline problems in the first place... Yes, some are just lazy... but, others are over worked parents coming home, having to get supper, wash dishes, wash clothes, check homework, shuffle young ones into the bath, then into bed...

Now, let's put after school activities in to that, sports, dance class, maybe a birthday party, or dinner over a friends house. Let's not forget paying the mortgage, the phone bill, the cable bill, credit cards...

Shopping for food, clothing, and that gift you forgot to pick up for your parents party, or the birthday party of a class mate... have to get the car inspected, and weekly, if not more than weekly stops at the gas station to fill the tank.

The baby's doctors appointments, you or your children's doctor appointments, dropping of the RX's at the pharmacy, waiting for them, or having to pick them up later. Don't forget the lawn needs mowed, maybe fertilized too. Dragging the garbage barrels out to the curb, having to run the just filled trash bag out from the house to the barrels at the curb. What about a pet, cleaning up after taking care of? Maybe a few simple house repairs that you don't get to for a while, but, eventually do...

Having to clean the rest of the house, having to take care of our own needs, trying to find time in there to connect with your partner AKA "lover", All of this while you're still thinking about work, and did you include all those details in that weekly/monthly/quarterly report, are the money draws all even, will "so and so" show up for work tomorrow, will you have to go in early, or stay late...

With all that goes on in your life on a daily basis...
Where is the time you have to spend, and connect with your children? To talk to them before a behavior gets out of hand? Where or when is the time you just kinda consciously listen over your children, to make sure you can distract and redirect them when they seem to be irritating each other? When do you have the time to be actively involved with them? When do you get to play games with them, read to them, have them read to you?

Where or when do you have the time to teach them patience, security and trust, when do you acknowledge and address their needs, giving them value, showing them respect. When you, yourself have no time or energy to lead and show them those other very important qualities of life? Not just running a life, but living, acknowledging, and experiencing life. Children learn by example...

I'm sure many of you will be thinking... I live that everyday, and I don't have to hit my children, I find the time to balance all the demands, and still spend quality time with my children... You might say, I don't use the TV as a baby-sitter for 4 hours after school so that I can get things done...

But, what about the many parents who can't say that?
Who are pulled in so many directions, and the children are screaming out for their parents attention, they have needs and they're not being met by the ones who are supposed to be fulfilling them. What do those parents do then... when they want their children to just be quiet, and disappear... even just for 10 mins? That 10 minutes leads into a few hours sometimes, and as parents we think it's a blessing, they are leaving us alone. The reality is, we are deserting them.

Children are born helpless, it's up to us as parents to teach them. We need to acknowledge them, to value them, so they can learn to value themselves. Acknowledging them, giving them the attention they need so they can grow... Children do, and need to feel safe by the guidance and discipline of their parents... They need to learn to trust, and that only happens with "interaction"... So many parents have no time, and some really have no desire, as their own needs come first...

Who suffers? The children and then when these children can't sit still, or keep agitating others, or yell and scream... what happens? They finally get the attention they need...

Children need and will seek out attention, be it good or bad attention, they will find a way to be noticed, they will find a way to say hey... "What about me?" and "I need", if you're not listening when they are quietly asking, and then give them what they need... They will ask louder and louder, with inappropriate behavior...

It's very hard to bring it back around to the age when you could slip in Barney, Sesame Street, Disney movies, and pray they give you peace for just a little while, those 30 mins or so eventually turn into a few hours... It happens before you know it, it's routine, it's a way of giving you the time to do just one more thing, and we convince ourselves that we'll have more time later to spend with them... and for some parents, later never comes... until it's too late.

Then, you have an unruly child who is acting out for much needed attention, and you resort to whatever means you have to... first a slap, it shocks them, they are stunned, they walk away, or run away to their room...

Maybe you feel a slight pain of guilt, no one wants to hurt their children. But, then you start to justify it, they have left their sister/brother alone, they are not whining anymore, they have given you the time you need to do whatever it is you are doing...

What happens next is a usually slow progression to more and more physical discipline to stop the behaviors... common sense would have you say... it worked once, it will work again, and you keep trying to get those same results... that is abuse now.

For years now, society has made it okay for us to neglect the interaction and connecting needs of our children. Our children are rebelling, these children are demanding the attention they need, and many of their parents don't know how to appropriately deal with it... then the cycle continues...

Just my 2 cents...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please help me decide...too much past or history?
Posted: 2/10/2008 8:10:07 PM
Thanks peoples... I've taken the lessons learned out (through my experience with past relationships).

I appreciate the honest comments, and have changed a few things around too... It's still a work in progress... I'll try adding more of my interests.

Travelguy... I'll work on switching the paragraphs around too! But, first wanted to take out that other stuff... Thanks...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Please help me decide...too much past or history?
Posted: 2/10/2008 2:56:28 PM
Given that we're all looking for and attracted to different "preferences" or "personalities" I'm genuinely asking/looking for peoples opinions of my profile... Specifically about the "been there done that" part...

I want/hope to find a man who has also been through that "discovery" of what he wants through the events in his life... I thought by relating those events, it would show where I've been, possibly so they might be able to relate to that experience too...

Do you think it is too much that I have included how I got to where I am?
Thanks people...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Nutrisystem?
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:56:04 AM
I know of two people who have gone on the system, one was successful, she lost 70 pounds in a years time. Has keep most of it off.
The other wasn't... She has her own business. Her type of work schedule, along with the work load, make it very hard for her to "use" the program.

I believe it will help if you like the food, and if you need/want that "box" of food coming through the mail to "HELP" keep you focused (meaning using it as a tool)...

As, you might know, you still have to add/eat the fresh veggies/salads/fruits to this plan.

Most important about any plan/diet/program/surgery...

They are all just tools, and until a person is ready to make use of the any one/combo of those "tool's" to make real permanent lifestyle changes... (speaking from experience) it's only a temporary fix... But, if you're aware of that, and can use it to make yourself accountable to your goals of a new healthy lifestyle, why not?
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Step Aerobics
Posted: 2/6/2008 2:57:32 PM
seekfriendship... I have a great one to suggest.

It's called BUNS OF STEEL # 2, with Marsha Macro.

She has many out, but it's the easiest "learner" one I have found/done, and it's easy to stick with this one... It says it's 30 mins long, but warm up and cool down included, it's 22 minutes, and let me tell you, no matter how much I'm getting in shape, I'm always sweaty after this tape... it's a good aerobic step work out.

I'm not sure if they are available on CD yet, but I'm sure you could do a web search and find it on those online auction/book sites...

The movements are easy to follow, not a whole lot of scenery to get lost in, just her with the step. I checked out amazon dot com and they have it new and sealed, shipped from factory... for 1.77 plus 2.98 handling... make sure your ordering the tape, not the book... didn't look to see if it is released on CD, sorry...

If you have any questions... e-mail me...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 69 (view)
 
anyone got any good tips 4 dieting?
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:59:37 PM
Just to list a couple of the other "tips" I use to keep my focus on my new life changes...

When making supper and I'm starving... instead of being tempted to eat what I'm cooking, (you know all those little bites of "just tasting")... I make sure I have cut up veggies ready in the fridge, I put them in the little sandwich bags so I know how much I'm consuming... (celery sticks, cucumber slices, cauliflower, broccoli florets, cherry tomatoes, pickles)

If I know I'm going to be out and it's going to cut into my meal times, (I use to go very long periods of time without eating) I pack a yogurt, or yogurt smoothie, a little baggy of nuts, whole wheat crackers, a cheese stick... Instead of running through a drive through, I've been known to run into the super market and buy two hard boiled eggs (red beet eggs, in my area) to fill in the times when I'm going to miss a meal...

I make menus, easy lists of what I need, and do the prep work ahead of time... (I know it takes so much time to prep these things, but, it really helps me to wash, cut, separate the food items when I get home from the store. When I get a hunger attack, I have it all ready, even cuts down on the fridge, to stove, to table time)

I keep hydrated... I keep bottles of water in the car at all times... (and this time of the year they are real cold !)

I find there is real truth to eating a good source of protein with every meal, it keeps the "satisfied" feeling with me for so much longer. Same goes for the whole grains...

The biggest tip from my own experience that I can really offer is...
Find out what food means to you, and if you need to... Change the meaning...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
anyone got any good tips 4 dieting?
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:29:48 PM
I have lost weight a couple times throughout my adult life, and never really seemed to keep it off... Not until I had participated in a local community program (offered through the local hospital/wellness center) called the "LEARN" program, it was a program of 12 or 16 weeks of learning about how our bodies use foods, the nutritional aspect, the daily requirements, it's emotional and physical effects, and a few basics that really changed my eating habits were...

1) You have to really want/be committed to change your present weight/eating habits.
2) You have to realized that the basic formula for losing weight is less calories in/more energy out...
3) You have to understand/believe that it's not a temporary change in your lifestyle, it is something you have to change permanently, and understand that it takes time to form new habits, new healthy habits. If you don't make it a permanent lifestyle change, the weight will creep back on...
4) You have to stay conscious of, and make a plan, use a note book, a journal, write recipes, record food (in put) & physical activities (out put).
5) You have to be kind to yourself, and forgiving when/if you veer off your plan.
6) Acknowledge that you (& others) have times when you (or they) loose sight of the goal, understand that, and start back on your lifestyle changes, the next meal, the next day... whatever the time frame may be...
7) If you follow number 6, You'll eventually loose sight less often... and have an easier time identifying the reasons/situations that cause you to loose sight
8) Your body needs food (fuel) in order to survive... It helped when I thought of my body/metabolism as a fire place/furnace, you have to feed a fire place/furnace in order for it to maintain heat... So does your body need to be fed to maintain it's health. If you feed a fire too much at one time it will go out, be smothered, and if you feed it to little, it to will burn through it's fuel too soon. In other words, if you don't eat the proper nutrtional value and amount, your body will not be able to keep your energy/matabolism going...
9) If you've struggled with weight for many years, there's usually an emotional attachment, event, or circumstance... sometimes called a "trigger" that sets us off... (I had to really search through my own issues to be able to see which ones were attached to using food as a way to___________ . (everyone has to fill that blank in for themselves...).


Long story short, for me it was a coping skill of "feeling" out of control... I used food to give me a false sense of control, and until I realized it... nothing changed, until now, and I have lost 32 pounds, and still losing...

I have this little theory about the "baggage" (or issues) we all have, sort of like a suit case of clothing, and if we don't periodically take things out and see if they "fit" any longer, we'll never get to a point of being able to "pack neatly or lightly"...

I have had examined a piece of my so called "clothing" (issue) in my own "baggage" to see if it still fits... and happily this one involving my "food" issue doesn't... it just doesn't fit any longer, I have no use for it. That, along with the real clothing that I'm not able to wear anymore (yippeeeee)... I'm not holding onto any longer...

I am sincerely sorry to have this be so long...
I'm hoping by sharing my story it is helpful, if even to just one person...

Life... doesn't have to be so hard... I try to "pack" lightly...
God Bless.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Any type of powder protein more easily absorbed & utilized than another?
Posted: 2/4/2008 10:32:47 AM
Captain Girly Girl... Thanks so much for the helpful advice...
Love the suggestions of putting the egg white into the soups... and the chicken breast I'll be able to grind up and mix with things like ricotta cheese (lowfat) for main dishes, in the small individual (portion control sizes) ramekins (sp??)
I am also being conscious of my calories, but, will need to get at least 1200 in per day, wanting them to be whole grains (when I am able to eat solids), along with the proteins and fruits and veggies... I love to juice, so, as far as fruits and veggies, I'm not worry at all... but, have to make sure I get some fiber and enough protein. any suggestions as to the "fiber" products out there like "Beneficial" (sp??)... anything decent tasting to mix in with water, or juices?
Thanks again everyone so helpful...
Planning all my "needs"...
I've lost 32 lbs already... and by summer... I'll be at goal.


I go to the YMCA 3-5 days aweek...
and finally made a new lease on this life I was blessed with!
Thanks again!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Any type of powder protein more easily absorbed & utilized than another?
Posted: 2/3/2008 1:42:18 PM
Yes, it is for medical reasons... and after the three weeks, I'll be on limited textured foods (soft foods) for about two weeks... So, I feel it's viatl to learn about the highest nutritional value in and of foods, I'll be able to eat. I Know some about basic nutrition, and have done some research on the subject, but, thought I'd ask around here on the health and fitness forum to get some info from "real" peoples experience, and knowledge... I appreciate anyone and everyones help...
Thank you.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Any type of powder protein more easily absorbed & utilized than another?
Posted: 2/2/2008 5:14:45 PM
Atlas, thanks for the help...
How do I know if they are high quality or not?
And, anyone know which of them have the highest protein grams and lowest calories?
I'd also appreciate the names of a few products and maybe places where I can buy them...
Unflavored ones really nasty huh? what types of foods/drinks did you try mixing them in?
Thanks again
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Any type of powder protein more easily absorbed & utilized than another?
Posted: 2/2/2008 4:40:12 PM
Hi, peoples... I am going on a three week liquid diet. I'm wondering with all the great information people have provided in answering so many other questions... I'm was hoping for more helpful information concerning protein powders.

I'm also looking for suggestions on the different flavors, as well as others opinions of the best "un-flavored" protein powders to mix with soups and fresh juicing...

Does anyone know if you loose protein grams by heating the powders?
As in mixing them into hot broth, miso, and cream (skimmed milk) soups...

Thanks so much!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Words...
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:47:52 PM
[And when you know exactly what to say...what words to manipulate...whats to stop you from doing so?]

Elle... again, just my thoughts...
I think it's more of a developed conscience, a maturity, a desire to truly know someone, and allow them to know you.

Manipulate... define manipulate, are you referring to it as a neutral? a positive? a negative?
If a person chooses to negatively manipulate another, it is usually insecurity and fear, and sad to say sometimes it can look and feel like pure evil. Like ripping someone's heart out with just the right combination of words and/or actions.
If a person chooses to positively manipulate, they use words, actions, rewards to achieve some sort of desired behavior from the individual. Potty training or physical therapy are good examples. Using encouragement and praise are wonderful ways to manipulate a situation to get a positive desired result.
If a person simply chooses to express an ideal or a desire by manipulating certain words and/or actions, I would think it would boil down to their "intent".

Many times, "Intent" is what makes us responsible for the consequences of our actions, at least in a court of law...
A "Conscience" is what should make us responsible for the consequences of our actions/behaviors in humanity...

Not sure if this is what your looking for, as far as other people's opinions...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Words...
Posted: 12/31/2007 12:35:26 PM
Just my opinion, I think... they are not just "words" when those words mean something to you, when your mind allows your body to "feel"... to really feel the pain, the confusion, excitement or beauty... whatever the artist is touching within you.

We have certain beliefs, when we find something (a song, a poem, a picture) that truly speaks to us, that is in agreement to what we want, need, and believe... then those words are able to facilitate emotion... One of my favorites is...

"My Lover"
No one conceals me like... No one reveals me like... My lover
No one can disconnect... No one can resurrect... Like my lover

My lover makes me weak... Gives me breath to speak... My lover takes me home
Cools the rolling stone... My lover's thorny kiss... The reason to exist
I wonder...

No one can saturate... No one manipulates... Like my lover
The sensuality... It's immortality
My lover...

My lover needs to seize... Bring me to my knees... Reads me like a prayer
Calls the spirit there... Secretly inspires... Strips me to desire
I wonder...

No one can visualize... No one can make me rise... Like my lover
They dream of paradise... They'll never ever pay the price
My lover...
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Looking for an Italian anise 10X sugar glazed cookie recipe...
Posted: 9/30/2007 4:40:54 PM
Curlygirl... YUP, YUP, you found it for me!!!

Thank you so much for the recipe, I'm going to my grandmother's next week, (her daughter, my aunt) and I'm bringing a batch up with me to share some memories!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Seaweed Salad does anyone have a recipe?
Posted: 9/29/2007 4:21:14 PM
Thanks for the recipes, and the Miso soup ideas too!

Went to the health food store got all the ingredients to make the dressing and salad, also got the guys in there to write me out a Miso Soup recipe, I had the packaged stuff before, but, was to intimidated to think I could make a pot myself...
Was I wrong! So easy...

I'll share the Miso Soup I made... I also added a couple veggies.

Miso Soup...

In a pan, I soaked 4 med Wakame leafs in about 6 cups water for about 5-10 min.

While waiting I sliced up 3 green onions, 4 baby bella mushrooms, grated a piece of ginger a little smaller than a teaspoon in size, chopped half of a turnip into very small julienned pieces, did the same for a 1/3 block of firm tofu, but not as small.

Went back to the pan, and opened the seaweed, cut the middle stem from it, and cut it into long slices, then diagonal, I like different shapes and sizes for appearance sake.

Put the stove on med, added all the veggies to the pot of water, about 8-10 min, leaving the tofu for the last few minutes of cooking, lastly adding the Miso (that was suggested by the clerk at the store).

You prepare the Miso by putting the amount you want in a small bowl, I used about 6 heaping teaspoons, and either use some of the cooking broth, or water to thin it, and make it smooth enough to pour into the soup BUT NOT UNTIL about a minute and a half before taking pot from heat.

There was about 4 different types in my health food store. I used the brown barely type, aged 2 years... It comes in a very, very thick paste, I really don't know the differences between them. Maybe someone could explain the differences, I imagine just the flavors?

I had fun and it was delicious, not sure if I added enough Miso, but I'll experiment... after soup was ladled out, I added a little "Braggs Amino Acids" (soy sauce) to mine...

Let you know how the salad comes out!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Looking for ideas for family reunion
Posted: 9/29/2007 3:46:44 PM
This easy, easy Taco Salad is always eaten up at our family reunions. We make it in one of those big, big bowls like Tupperware...

You'll need a med size bag of Dorito's for the recipe, but they are not added until just before serving, everything else you can make ahead!

Brown 2 lb. ground beef w/ either packaged taco seasoning mix or from your spick rack
(turkey or venison works too!)

Let it cool some, drain the grease, put into a large bowl

Chop a head of iceberg lettuce into pieces a little smaller than 1 in.
(romaine works too... but leaf, boston, or bib lettuce usually loses it's shape to quickly)

Dice up 2 med tomatoes

A 4 oz bag of shredded Cheddar (or whatever cheese you like)

Slice up green onions (optional)

Place all items in the bowl, pour an entire 8 oz. bottle of French salad dressing over the mixture, and toss until all is coated...

Bring to Family Reunion!
Just before serving, crush a bag of Dorito's corn chips, add to the bowl, and toss the mixture again until all chips are mixed in.

Hope it helps!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What is the difference between a loving ans a caring relationship?
Posted: 9/28/2007 1:23:35 PM
Only you can answer that...
and be kind to yourself, pray about it, meditate about it, and sleep on it...
have faith, the answer will come to you...

One of my thoughts is... apparently it's working for you... because when it no longer is, you'll do something different. Remember there is no "right or wrong" answer here... Just what works and what doesn't.

So have faith!
God bless
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What is the difference between a loving ans a caring relationship?
Posted: 9/27/2007 7:49:39 PM
pianino, I'm not sure you've given us enough information about your relationship.
I can understand your feeling hurt if you don't get the response you're hoping for... but, if you don't express what you really feel for this man out of fear he'll not reciprocate, then I feel, (and this is just my opinion) that your missing out on an opportunity to "validate" and "express" how you feel, and, also you're disregarding your own "feelings" by not expressing that they have grown into love for him...

He may or may not feel that he is in love with you, or maybe he is not ready to express love, but, if it is because he is "protecting" himself... then, by you putting yourself out there, you are creating a "safe" feeling for him. But, if he is one of these guys who is just acting "rebellious" (for lack of a better word) by saying I shouldn't have to say, or tell you "I love you"... that is an entirely different situation altogether. He has issues if he is withholding the words, because people use them too freely, and you will have to decide if you can live with that.
I'm not sure how others feel about the time of "almost a year" in a relationship, but I feel that I would know if I loved a person by then.

At some point he (& everyone) has to hold himself accountable for his feelings. Whether it's love or not love... and after a year, (again this is just my opinion...) he knows if he loves you or not, saying "I love you" is not a marriage proposal, nor is it a promise of anything permanent... it's simply stating an emotion.

If he isn't able to identify and share his emotions after being with you a year... then you have to decide if it is "enough" for you. You also have the responsibility to tell him how it makes you feel...

Is "love" the only emotion he hasn't verbally expressed with or to you? Or, does he have difficulties with expressing all of his emotions? And, it's none of our business, but is this a sexual relationship too? If so... He can "make love" to you, but not tell you he "loves you" ?

You wrote that you would call it a "caring relationship", what does he call it? Does he even recognize it as a "deeper than just friendship" relationship? Have you shared any thoughts, ideals, or dreams about a future together?

and YES, I think you're being unreasonable if your thinking is "all or nothing", and by that I mean, Are you saying...You will have to leave him if you express your love for him, and he lets you know that he feels deeply for you, but isn't ready or able to express it as openly as you are?

Are you saying it will hurt too much if you "put" yourself out there, and don't get what you want in return? Sounds like an ego issue, a very dangerous one. By thinking that way, your setting yourself up with only one option, and that it this... "if he doesn't say he loves me, I'll have to leave the relationship"... NOT SO, unless you really want too.

Will you be able to accept his response if he genuinely expresses he is having trouble with the whole "love" word?
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
"Seaweed Salad" does anyone have a recipe?
Posted: 9/26/2007 2:11:37 PM
While in New England last year I had this incredible side dish at a very popular seafood restaurant. It was seaweed salad, had some ginger, sesame seeds, soy sauce, not sure of the type oil... anyone have the recipe? or something similar?
It was out of this world good... it was served cold... seaweed was very fine like rice noodles, anyone have a recipe?
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Looking for an Italian anise 10X sugar glazed cookie recipe...
Posted: 9/26/2007 12:48:01 PM
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you....
I have searched countless cookie cookbooks, and libraries, and web pages... to no avail.
This sounds like it!
I'm going to make them this weekend, I'll let you know if it is it.
either way... I'm sure everyone will enjoy them!
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
My GF slept with her Ex-Husband
Posted: 9/25/2007 2:44:12 PM
Like Class Jewels has written in message # 7 ... there is a very small window for getting pregnant... you know when her birthday is... ask her when her last period was... count 14 days from the start of it... this is when she is most fertile... days 14 through 18... of course all women are different, but this is a good standard to size up the time frame... were you with her on days 14 through 18 ???

Being she is 200 miles away, you should be able to remember when you two got to visit?

DNA isn't going to happen for how many months yet? unless of course she is going to have an amniocentesis test done... (very costly, and could be a threat to the baby) sounds really, really odd that she doesn't know when she conceived the baby... really... do the math...

I'm guessing your admitting to NOT being/wearing protection?
What were you thinking?

Good Luck.
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Looking for an Italian anise 10X sugar glazed cookie recipe...
Posted: 9/25/2007 1:52:27 PM
My auntie "T" use to make these special treats every holiday...
She rolled them into a small ball a little smaller than a donut hole, baked them, then dipped them in a 10x sugar glaze. Both the dough and the glaze were flavoured by anise, she sprinkled them with little candies like jimmies, sprinkles, or those tiny candy beads...

My auntie passed away some years ago, and no one in our family has the recipe...
Any one have the recipe???
 trulystephanie
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Tell me the answer I probably already know.
Posted: 9/25/2007 1:12:27 PM
Maybe just to see where you are at in your life right now... Could be as simple as that.
In the past I had contacted an old aquaintance, of course he always knew it was me. But, I did to it to "touch base"... and truthfully I was looking for something I thought was there, but obviously it really wasn't...
I had to try a few times, until I "accepted" he really wasn't on the same page... maybe she felt similar?
Maybe the situation is not right or wrong, nor good or bad... maybe it's just about some closure.
What ever it is... if you have moved on past this person, and there really is no need to stay in any contact with her, if it were me... I'd let go...
 
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