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 Author Thread: Is a kiss really just a kiss?
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Is a kiss really just a kiss?
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:15:00 AM
First kiss is the gauge for the next level. Bad kiss, stop and run away, (not literally run). Good kiss speaks volumes.

How much do I invest? Really? It's a snap shot of several things, experience, strength of connection, leader of follower... and so on. So her style is the starting base line and my style is subtle testing of where I can lead into something that might take her breath away and mine.

Bad kissers just don't make good lovers
J
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
review
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:55:50 AM
Just to get out of the house leads her to "no life"

Intelligent, more so than others= arrogance (big turn off)

Chick flix "drag on"? By nature women are emotional and men some what void of emotion. We all get this, right? Do you really want to attack her for being a woman right out of the gate?

J
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How to spot a player?
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:28:04 PM
Looking to get away with something? Not very good at poker, are ya?
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Am I doing something wrong?
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:23:41 PM
Was she just playing games? Probably not

Was she just here for idle chit chat? Maybe but if she felt a real connection she'd more than likely have wanted to hear your voice and know more than you can get txting

Was I being too forward in my approach and scare her off? I wouldn't look at it that way at all.

At 21 it's pretty easy for a guy to think "she's the one" form her looks or what ever caught your attention. But it takes way more than that to feel comfortable enough to move from text to the phone, then meet.

Why I wanted to pop in on this thread is that you took your self off of PoF because you were txting someone you hadn't talked to on the phone. This makes me think you might have been putting way to much into a txt relationship and got ahead of your self; adding uncomfortable pressure.

Okay, this could be way off base but no matter what the reason please think "friend first".

She can be the perfect whatever but if you can't get to friends you'll never really get to know each other. If she didn't feel comfortable talking on the phone the reason isn't anyone's fault. No harm, no foul.
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Now what??????????????
Posted: 12/27/2011 2:36:36 PM
Now What?

do you often find yourself feeling sick in similar situations adding validity to his statement?

you refer to him as a friend thus you place some value to his opinions. He was either on target or missed completely, and only you two kno how on target he was

If you are over reacting to a friend being honest it's time to make nice

If he's just being mean and without just cause it's time to evaluate your friendship
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please review my profile. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:40:55 PM
[I need someone amazing, hilarious and smart.]

How about paraphrasing... you'll point out the qualities in a way she can think of herself.

full of surprises type, quick whited and enjoy intelligent conversation

Oh yeah, you left out over the line on Fiesta Island
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
is there something i should remove?
Posted: 12/24/2011 9:11:26 PM
your first paragraph talks about how you see your future. girls tend to look at how their dreams can come true. You may be more interesting to the more mature women leaving the paragraph and deleting it may offer more choices.
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Am I hideous?
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:48:29 PM
Reads well, you look good and sound interesting.

3rd paragraph has issues. All are great points yet aren't related... plus the furthermore don't work.

State your point that race isn't an issue and leave it at that. Its the buckle of the bible belt and the deep south. I think she'll find you attractive and might hesitate if reminded people have issues, no matter what race she is

Great job with the web store but you'll get more dates than sales if you don't post the link
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
profile...what am i doing wrong?
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:36:57 PM
Go for the age group you are interested in. As long as it's legal moral us up to you
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
profile...what am i doing wrong?
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:34:55 PM
Lose the first sentence. It starts with insecurity and serves no other purpose.

Think of something less demeaning than dopey or stupid to refer to yourself as.

Pic is good but could be better. Try asking a stranger to take your pic when out doors. (even a woman). And don't forget to mention it's for your dating profile. Get a good smile as well as a body shot
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Moving in with her. Should he pay?
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:22:06 PM
Communication is the biggest issue in my mind. You have been paying your own bills as a renter and can afford what you did pay before. She might not want you to help or she might... what ever. Until you both discuss it you will never know how she feels

In most states once you start putting your money into your partner's asset it becomes "co-mingled" and therefor partly yours. This might not be in her best interest.
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Knowledge Gaps
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:08:14 PM
You don't work attractive. It's an advantage for sure but that's about it (aside from being hit on more than others).

As far as the "skills", stick with your gut. Think about the people you admire and take on the best traits. Become the person you want to be and it is a choice.

I talk to people every where I go. I've met women in the stores or coffee houses just by asking "how's your day going so far" and gauging the conversation responses. If there is interest I'll ask to meet later somewhere public just to get to know more.

Guys make most of the first moves and gauge responses. Women are attuned towards his eyes (or wandering eyes), his sincerity, body language and gauging his self confidence. If he's asking if she has a BF or "can I ask you out" he's asking permission before asking her out thus he's afraid of rejection and this is ultimately a turn off for most women. Others find his lack of skills attractive.
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Been on here for a while, reckon it's time for a review
Posted: 12/24/2011 7:39:08 PM
Lived in San Diego for half my life and did well on PoF. This isn't what I would think the best approach would be for you.

Seems to me you go too far into your own accolades and would be better suited not making your quest for knowledge, education or teaching the overtone of the bio. Along with the Pic of the awards reeks of arrogance as well. There really isn't a bigger turn off for most people.

You are smart and educated and need someone that is as well. That said just say it, don't "prove it".

You are also active and do fun stuff that she will like to be part of. Capitalize on this.

As far as pics... Main pic should be the most fun ever! If you can make her smile she'll read till she gets turned off. If she's still interested she'll want to know more
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Review Please?
Posted: 12/24/2011 7:09:57 PM
I like it!

Good pics. Simple yet real bio.

You come across as real and aren't afraid to be yourself.

Issue if any would be "where would I fit in?" from her perspective. Is he gonna compete with the guy friends, need to drink beer at 9AM or have to drive you home if you over did it?

Maybe a short paragraph after the existing letting her know you aren't out of control and want to spend time with the right gal, "if she can keep up"
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Review My Main Pic and Profile Please?
Posted: 12/24/2011 7:00:44 PM
Cody,

The pics are way dark and indoors. Walmart can take a few shots cheap or better yet ask a stranger to take your pic with your camera when you go somewhere.

As for the bio, well written yet has some undertones of negativity. Starts with you don't have any current hobbies but want some. Then ends with 1/4 century old and never had a gf...

Don't explain what isn't working or even dwell on it. If you aren't doing fun stuff to write about start. Then write about it.
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile review
Posted: 12/24/2011 6:45:51 PM
First the pics.... outside and doing the fun stuff you like to do. Mission V, isn't that between Oceanside and SD? grab a sunset and ask someone to take your pic. take the MTB out for a ride and ask some to take your pic....

Now the profile, it's a hard read. Short paragraphs. In 81 my high school kicked tail but I wouldn't brag the anyone looking at my bio was a loser or let anyone kno I was clinging to high school.

Something like: I've always been active in sports and take care of myself. Active outdoor stuff makes...

Work is a real part of life yet living is as high a priority... and that kinda stuff
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Not sure what to make of this.
Posted: 12/25/2009 9:39:44 AM
OP,

It's really difficult to meet people that you just pass in the halls. And this guy sounds like he's making the effort.

Pass him your card with your email circled. Within a couple of emails you'll have a better idea of where he's coming from. Low risk with a potential for high gain.

J
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
is it too soon to ask??
Posted: 12/24/2009 9:15:50 PM
OP,

There are many different opinions on this and I have only one. The longer you wait on actually meeting the less likely it is that you will ever meet!

People are looking for reasons why you or the other person in your mail box is better or worse. When you haven't connected a voice to a face and seen body language it's to easy to move on.

EDIT: Your number... google it and make sure that your home isn't going to show up on a map with directions...
J
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Why did he stop calling
Posted: 12/24/2009 8:40:02 PM
OP,

Sounds like rebound. Remember high school? After a break up there is a big urge to "get back out there" but emotionally the healing isn't done.

You just met the kid. This could be the catalyst for his paradigm shift. Could be the kids reaction or the ex's reaction to the meeting or something else all together but the shift happened.

Good part is he now knows that he is still attractive and that's a big part of his healing. Bad part is you may have just helped out the next girl in his healing.

But in reality I don't know either of you or what is really going on in the heads of two people I've never met...

Just a guess
J
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
He doesnt want a relationship with ME!
Posted: 11/21/2009 8:37:53 PM
OP,

Sounds like you've found a decent and honest guy. I think you should take what he had to say as right on.

Yes he thinks you are attractive and maybe he even feels the same as you. But what he said was how he feels deeper inside.

Based on what I read in your post it seems that this guy thinks somewhat like I did at that age. I wasn't looking long term at 19 or 20. I was however thinking of what I may want some day as my family, and what steps I needed to take in making that happen.

He wants to be your friend. He likes you and sounds like an okay guy. Has it gotta be more or nothing?

People just don't fit into a mold and we all have different issues. There isn't anything judgmental or negative about you or him in this. What I read into what you wrote is he isn't ready for you yet. Income and children come for him later in life and he's working towards this. Friends now may become more later.

A man that fulfills his dreams and admissions is a far better man than one that sets them aside for another. This is the stuff that makes us who we are.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Is this a real possibility?
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:05:37 PM
OP,

You are somewhat unclear as to what phase in a relationship this disappearing act takes place. When you say the last conversation it sounds like it's at the very beginning.

If you are developing such a strong connection and using a conversation to gauge his level of attraction you are completly missing the boat. Body language, personal contact and how well you hold each others attention and do you both find these things stimulating are the gauge.

By broadcasting such attraction to early one becomes "needy" and that has a huge impact as when one party calls too much or wants an obligation to the next contact to often or to soon the "needy" becomes negative energy. This isn't gender specific but more human nature.

I met a gal a couple years ago. I liked her even tho the needs were pushing the threshold of what I could take. I backed off in reciprocating and she took it as if I was falling out and dumped me like a rock. I found in the end that I felt relieved! She contacted me again last week. Her "needyness" is off the scale now.. I was willing to re-think but I just can't cope.

So many times people don't get this. Men are the biggest offenders with this by trying so hard to please that it is overwhelming to the woman they so desperately want. This behavior drives people away! Especially no a days with the economy as it is we all are moving at mach 5 with our hair on fire trying to make the next deal or working 2x as hard because everyone else got laid off. there just isnt the time for needy.

J
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
ex girlfriends and privacy
Posted: 11/14/2009 8:04:06 PM
OP:

This guy is putting you into a no win situation. And I suspect that he knows it.

Your gut will tell you what to do with this. Concider that we do not have the right to tell our partners how to act. We can as you did tell your partner what our needs are. In turn they can choose to meet or fulfill our needs or leave us no choice to go outside the relationship to do so.

You obviously can't leave the relationship and expect him to stop communicating with someone that he cheated with before.... but you can leave the relationship.

If my hypothetical g/f was more interested in remaining in contact with an ex b/f and cheating was involved in any slightest way I'd be gone. I don't cheat. Never have, never will. Zero tolerance here. It would never get passed the dating stages if she disclosed cheating. Thus you may want to hear form someone with a more sympathetic ear.

Just my 2 cents,
J
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:01:05 PM
Sam,

Just by reading your post tells me that there is no need for you to ask for a second chance.

You are the way you are and they are the ways that they are. Either they are looking for someone like you or they aren't.

As you have so eloquently stated and I'll now paraphrase: If they can't figure out that I know already so there is no need to explain things. So maybe I should explain how they were wrong in sizing me up and get another shot?

Some are leaders and others followers. Many are listeners and want to know all about what makes you tick then others have well kept secrets and share little of them selves. One thing for certain is no one is right for everyone and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
please review me!! please;0)
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:31:33 PM
Dude,

You are making this pretty hard on her and although your message is good your story telling just sucks.

She'll most likely open your page before reading any note you sent her. The first thing she sees is that prickely 1/2 van dike... she's not considering kissing!

Then what she has to be for YOU! Pretty friggin demanding of someone that's just trying to figure out if she wants to read your mail.

Kids are important but you over state how hard it is with a daughter. Kids come later! No details on kids in the bio at all. You are selling you, not looking for help with your difficult situation, right?

Put up some pictures that she wants to rub against or show you off to her friends or picture herself with you!

Don't overstate your illness. You have MS that's well under control with a 2 year track record. Then mention the cool and fun things you like to do and leave out all the crap about money, income and so on. You'll learn how important money is to her later. Being so concerned about it is a sign of your insecurity and that's loud and clear.

You are a fit, active and attractive guy. Don't sell your self short. State that you eat and live a healthy life style that you would prefer sharing with a new partner in crime. But never tell someone what they have to do, be, like or dislike! We take each other for them, faults and all. We don't get to change them not do they us. That's just life!

EDIT: They aren't running away because they are afraid you won't make money. They are running away for being so concerned about money. Happiness is what people seek. It's easy to love a 3 legged dog if it's got a great demeanor. A bum on the street can leave anyone with a smile that lasts all day if they are pleasant to talk to. But if you are a downer you just drag everyone and everything down with you, no matter what kind of coin you have.

Just my 2 cents. Keep the change
John
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
if you are involved with this man for 5 years and then not
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:01:45 PM
OP,

I think you are giving this more than it deserves. You know him from before and now there is something new..... where did he pick it up and what did it mean when she did it to him?

Just a question for an answer,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Brushed Off Easily
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:08:34 PM
OP,

The email messages are just a step to making phone contact. From there it's actualy meeting for something simple.

I've had a ton that go back and forth in messages that never get anywhere. Either I stop replying or they do but if I'm really interested I'll offer my number and tell her that if she prefers that I call her just send hers. Some disappear right then. Others don't offer the number and never call.

EDIT: and sometimes the phone rings right after I click send and we laugh for the next 6 hours.

It really makes little difference why they don't want to meet. Ultimately the out come is the same but there are plenty of other fish....

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
A hgih school sweetheart from 30 years ago??
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:52:22 PM
OP,

Is it real? Most likely not. How long will it last? Most likely not long.

30 years ago and back in high school they may have had something but what changed then has had 30 years of changes added to it. They both have experienced a lot of life and the chances of them creating anything more than a fast and furious fling is nil.

The better question is why didn't he tell this gal that he was in a relationship and simply catch up on the "did ya get married and how many kids" and call it all good? Why was it so easy to cast you aside and how likely is it that he'll come back to you?

Seems to me that if he felt the same connection that you may it wouldn't have gone down this way.

Just an opinion,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Am I being paranoid?
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:06:50 PM
OP,

I agree with Landra on this one.

Not really the dog part but if he's been to hammered to make his "tentative date" with you then how well dose he really bode with you? And is being hung over a reasonable excuse for not knowing what comes out of his mouth like the take care?

It could be a Freudian slip where he wanted you to say "take care" but who really cares? Unless you like dating a drunk.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Ok I have a question....
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:50:53 PM
OP,

He may want sex BUT! It's totaly normal for the cable installer to leave his personal phone number also. These guys are paid a flat rate for an install and fined for call backs. To many call backs and they can get fired. To many complaints and they can get fired.

I'd be way surprised if he actually brings up wanting to date or anything personal. In fact if you really are interested in him write a note and give it to him and ask that he read it when he's off work.

Just a thought,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
do young guys make bets on older girls
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:31:33 PM
OP,

Sounds to me like someone within a group of guys in your area has discovered mature women and the secret is out! He more than likely told his friends that he's met people on PoF.

Being an attractive 49 you are getting a lot of attention....

I've dated older and mature women my entire dating life. Still look that way now.

I suspect however you aren't looking to become a sex therapist for the group.

Just an opinion,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
No pic on profile and empty inbox
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:32:01 PM
OP,

I don't understand your concern. If he were married his wife wouldn't have access to his profile thus not deleting your mail wouldn't be an issue.

As far as no picture... there could be a ton of reasons for that but it's a good indicator that he's self conscious about his appearance and the long pauses in his responses could indicate low self esteem or something along those lines.

All said though if you are pretty sure you aren't just fishing for a reason to ditch him you may be better off sticking with your gut. But if you are feeling some connection and aren't worried about his looks you haven't posted a deal breaker either.

Just an opinion
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Am I being too pushy?
Posted: 10/10/2009 6:12:00 PM
OP,

You aren't being pushy at all. When it's right for you that's all that matters.

If it isn't right for him then the 2 of you aren't like minded. Is that by it's self a deal breaker? No but the fact that a date was made and he didn't call could be.

Meeting isn't really that big of a deal. There isn't any obligation and everyone can buy their own cup of coffee or ice cream cone. If they become so inclined they can take it to go. What's the friggin big deal about that?

Just an opinion,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
To Harsh...
Posted: 10/10/2009 5:13:36 PM
Seems to me you put a lot of eggs in the chatting basket. Something I consider to be a pretty big indicator of someone who really is more interested in sitting in front of their computer than really meeting people.

Which ever a couple of days or a week if things haven't progressed at least to a phone conversation I'd stop writing. Yeah. I realize you haven't stated this, but contrary, you want the chat thing to keep going.... What's up with that?

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Chat/Email --> In-person date??
Posted: 10/10/2009 4:53:55 PM
OP,

Chatting and emails are a waste of time and effort once you know the "deal breaker" issues are dealt with.

Anyone that wants to keep the chatting thing going is a time waster IMHO. If I can't hear your voice or have the ability to hold your attention with basic conversation or make you laugh beyond "LOL" then we'll never get to the point where I ask to meet.

I think that all the chatting and emailing is just looking for a reason to NOT meet. I send my number after the basic stuff has been asked and answered. Most never call even after they have stated they wanted to meet. My take is they never wanted to meet in the first place and chatted or emailed them selves into a corner.

So if someone on here is really looking to meet people that also meet their criteria they do. Others sit and hide behind their computers and dream about it. When someone isn't interested they don't respond, respond without questions or block.

Just my humble opinion,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why is he blowing me off?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:59:38 PM
OP,

You broke it off before because of an Ex of yours long ago and that's long over..... Is it? How was he effected by your unilateral decision to end HIS relationship?

Seems like you really enjoyed catching up and talking till dawn. How many people in your entire life have you been able to do that with?

Seems he may have decided that he wasn't going to let himself go through this loss again. Now it's your turn....

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
how long to date someone new?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:44:11 PM
OP,

You are 24 and to you that's a lifetime. Truth of the matter is it takes six months to a year to really get to know someone. Consider yourself luck that you have realized in a month or two that it wasn't right for the long haul.

When you find the right person you'll know it because they will feel the same way about you. Neither of you will want to be with anyone else.

Serial daters are out to take advantage of those they date. I didn't read that in your post thus more than likely that ain't you.

Is it a turn off? Nope. Keep looking till you find what you are looking for. That's what those of us that don't settle for less do.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
am i an option for him?
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:01:30 PM
OP,

He's in his basket case phase! Why do you want to be his transition girl?

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
So why contact me?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:55:31 PM
OP,

Who knows but for certain he's got issues. That's enough to leave him in your wake and head towards the next fishin' spot.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
why do they call it going commando?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:16:00 PM
OP,

Don't know why but it's risky with the zipper, lol
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what is wrong with some guys?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:15:49 PM
OP,

Wrong question. Should read "whats wrong with some people"?

The reality is that no one has the right to expect anyone to be more than who they are. We can not ever expect someone to change who they are for us.

People can evolve beyond where thy are or were but it has to be their evolution.

Read a book called "tell me no lies" and it will help understand.

The basic premiss is telling a smoker to quit or else and they become a closet smoker. Can take an honest person and create a liar. They will do what they can but they didn't want to quit. They will lie because they can't quit till they are ready.

There is a lot more to it but bottom line.... we are who we are faults and all. Take him for who he is or leave. Choice is yours.

Best of luck,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 70 (view)
 
16 yr old Moving in with Dad
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:59:15 PM
OP,

You mention guideline and that you haven't enforced guideline.

What if you compared each of you incomes to guideline and tossed him back his percentage of the support he was paying...

IE: if you make 3 and him 2 and support was 1 he would now pay 2/3 of 1 .... .666
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
whats up with guys saying i love you and not meaning it
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:40:12 PM
OP,

I've got a six month rule on that. Lust can get a little cloudy with infatuation...

I have been told by women in my age bracket that guys do proclaim "love" way too early fairly regularly.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
How long will he take to get over this?
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:42:00 PM
OP,

As a diabetic I'll tell ya that if he's getting it up than it's most likely not the diabetes. Not keeping it up is psychological.

When we are in our twenties doing the deed requires nothing other than opportunity. Later for some of us it starts being more about wanting to be with someone or feeling that they want to be with us.

His simple test is can he masturbate. If yes than diabetes isn't his issue at all. With diabetes he can get pills and go for it no matter what the issue.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Would this be a deal-breaker for you?
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:18:46 PM
OP,

Is that a deal breaker? Yes and No......

First of all it shows the other person places no value on my time. Or is just easily distracted or is in a job that they can't always get out on time or many other things.... Then it shows that their situation is more important to them than my time is to them.

This said, we all need to take our partners for exactly who they are. I could see myself in a relationship where I considered the meeting times as "flexible" and in turn may start becoming late myself. If I felt that this was happening because she didn't respect me than no way yet if this were one of few issues and otherwise we really got along.... why not?

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
What does that mean?
Posted: 10/3/2009 11:27:10 PM
OP,

Several women that I have dated from this site have told me that most guys they meet on here start pressuring them for a sex obligation within the first 10 minutes of meeting. When? What do I need to do? How long do you wait? and that kind of crap.

My guess is they have been told to many times that they use to much pressure. So that more than likely means they will wait 15 minutes before asking for sex.....

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Cat Calling
Posted: 10/3/2009 11:19:41 PM
OP,

Flip them off. Fly the birdie.

It will stop the cat calls and turn to noises of surprise that you stood up for yourself.

When one shouts out some stupid "what's the matter baby, can't take a complement" you get to respond with "that's no way to get my attention".

I'll bet a buck that the next time one of them will be waiting with flowers and after that they will all be competing with boxes of candy or a bigger bouquet.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Whats up with the copy and paste?
Posted: 10/2/2009 11:02:06 PM
OP,

I can understand how some of them may have come to be like that. If you do a search on what mail gets read or how important the mail header is and several others about mail you'll find out that most of our emails don't ever get read or opened.

I read every line in someone's page if I think she's interesting and if I think there may really be a connection I'll write a well thought out note. But until a couple of months ago the mail header would have read "Hello". 80% went never opened and dropped off after 30 days!

What's the "right way to do it" for one gal isn't the right way for another. How much effort do we put into figuring out why our mail isn't being read? Not enough in most cases I suspect.

My average has improved over the years. Think I started on PoF in 04 or 05 and have met a lot of great people but for the most part the biggest successes have been with women that have contacted me. Managed 3 relationships that each lasted a year +.

Now that I really pay attention to religion, distance, drinking and smoking habits (not relying on mail filters any more) and so on before getting inspired on her bio I get more responses. But this took years to learn.

Also the site has improved over the years. Before we couldn't search filter for smokers or other big deal breakers. Now I'll never get another response with "if you'd only quit smoking" and more often than not my mail is at least opened.

Just an opinion,
J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Self Image
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:01:15 PM
OP,

Neither. And you've completely missed the boat!

First of all no one woman or man is appealing to ALL men or women. For anyone to think of them selves as "the cat's meow" is a complete turn off. Attitude is far more important than features and it makes the look that matters.

Now there is nothing wrong with modesty yet down playing one's image to the point where they feel insecure? That's just someone that is insecure.

I'm comfortable in my own skin. I wear things that I like and others have complemented my appearance in for a first impression.

I enjoy meeting the same.

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:35:07 PM
She just started liken' cheatn' songs, but what's botherin' me.....

Yeah the message is way over the top but is it really based in reality? There are a ton of other songs that blow passed reality and are popular for their time. They don't go the distance.

I'm not a cheater and have little use for them nor vindictive angry women so in this case I feel sorry for the truck!

J Mac
 jonnymac1963
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Opening up...
Posted: 9/29/2009 10:40:39 PM
OP,

Keep putting your hand on the stove and you'll get a pretty thick skin on your hand.

If you are looking to get to know someone then you are most attractive as your self and that's the unguarded you. If you are looking for love then you have to follow your heart.

Yeah it gets hurt. So? It heals and becomes a little thicker skinned, but it heals.

J Mac
 
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