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 Author Thread: Do people actually meet on this site???
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
Do people actually meet on this site???
Posted: 1/25/2009 7:16:35 PM
The short answer is "Yes" but I personally have found it very difficult. I actually think it's easier for women than men. Most of my messages are either unread, read with no reply, read deleted , or unread deleted (Ouch!). Also, for the few women who do respond to me, I like to cut to the chase and suggest we talk on the phone. Man, does that turn them off. As soon as I suggest an actual phone conversation, they end all contact with me. I think e-mail has killed dating. I don't believe in incessant e-mailing, but a lot of the women here do, so I don't meet very many. But to be fair, I've met a few very nice women, and I try to stay positive. I keep looking, keep contacting, and hope for the best. You will start meeting people.
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 102 (view)
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:35:31 AM
I appreciate what "thebugis back" said. I'm now 52, never married, and no kids that anyone can prove. When I was younger, it was a huge negative to the women I met. I felt like a character in "Defending Your Life". In my 40s and early 50s, women look at me like, "Aren't you smart! How did you ever get away?". No, I'm not smart, and it hasn't been by choice. It just hasn't happened. I've meet some women in the same situation. They're not terrible people and they seem quite normal. I hope everyone I meet will judge me for who I am at that moment, and not on what has or has not happened in the past.
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
Redid the profile, but still nothing!
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:07:46 PM
Hey, Obie,

I checked out your profile. First of all, I've also had an "Unread-deleted" message. Ouch! So it's not just you. (I think that's a bit rude, by the way. I always read the message, at least, if not almost always respond). My comment is that your picture is very dark and shadowy. I recommend you get someone to take your picture with a flash, so there's some light on your face. Make sure they're not too close so you're not too washed out. But your picture is not flattering. It needs to brighten up. I hope you give it a shot, and good luck. I've had the same experiences as you, brother.
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
Newbie here. I need some help.
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:50:53 PM
Hi, Babs,
I don't think it's what you say. I think you need to get better pictures. Your main picture was shot without a flash, and it needs color-correction. Your second picture is washed out and it looks like a different person. I would ask someone with a digital camera to take a nice headshot, either outdoors, or make sure the flash goes off, but not too close so as to wash you out. Welcome, and good luck!
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
Anniversaries of a loved one's death
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:13:05 PM
I was going to post a new thread about something else but yours caught my eye, and I wanted to respond. I just lost my mom last July 4. Boy, is that a tough one. I was very close to her as I was one of her caregivers in her last years after she struggled with many illnesses, including Alzheimer's. It has been a hard first year. Her birthday was Jan. 27. I am Jewish, so I will tell you what our tradition is, which is different than Christianity's. First, for a parent, we say Kaddish, which is a special prayer for mourners, every day as part of the daily prayer service for 11 months to a year, depending on your belief. The anniversary of the death is marked by the Jewish calendar, which is lunar, not the common one. The anniversary of a loved one's death is called Yahrzeit, and it is marked by two things: saying the kaddish, and burning a special Yahrzeit candle that burns for about 24 hrs. The Jewish day starts in the evening before the day of the anniversary, holiday, etc. So you start burning the candle the evening before, and it burns until the next evening. I think it's a wonderful memorial to one you have lost. Perhaps you can get a candle and burn it through the evening and next day, to remember your parents. At Thanksgiving, I brought pictures of my mom to my sister's house and put them out. My mom liked flowers, so I bought some flowers and put them on the table. On her b'day in January, I also bought a bouquet of flowers and put them next to my pictures of her. And I lit some candles. I am sorry for your loss. I hope this gives you some ideas. May peace be with you.
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 308 (view)
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 11/5/2007 7:02:54 AM
I was going to post a new thread, but I think my concern is covered in this one: When is it OK to suggest speaking on the phone? I have met a few nice women here, but mostly I get no response as soon as I ask if we may talk on the phone. This usually comes after a couple of e-mails because I already know I'm interested, and I don't know what else to say in an e-mail. Am I not supposed to show interest? Doesn't anyone want to talk on the phone anymore? Apparently, I haven't learned the proper etiquette for the e-mail age, because I'm obviously frightening a lot of women by not sending 50 e-mails back and forth before I ask if we may actually talk sometime. I'm really not Ted Bundy, but I seem to be coming across that way. Some honest tips on how to proceed after the first e-mail response would be appreciated.
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