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 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 31 (view)
 
No Replies
Posted: 3/5/2013 5:02:21 PM
No, but I'm realistic. No point going out with someone you're not 100% keen on for the sake of it.

At the end of the day I send out messages to people I like and haven't got lucky.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
No Replies
Posted: 3/5/2013 4:29:14 PM
Thanks for the feedback peeps!

Alas I wish I was Traycoli, wouldn't be on here otherwise. :)

In site suggestions I started a thread on the meet-me system recently, you get a mutual match, send a message, read deleted. Its really irritating because you can't remove people off that list, so you end up with a list of mutual matches that are all ideal not responding.

Now I'm not perfect and the height thing does come up but it really isn't the huge help everybody thinks, though I'm sure it is handy and as I said I don't respond to every mail I receive because it depends greatly on what I'm looking for too.

At the end of the day I use the fishermans analogy, throw out your rod, dangle your bits and see who swims up for a nibble.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
No Replies
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:27:12 AM
Aww thanks Chuzz :)

No made a few friends but nothing more and I haven't consistently messaged all of those years. I did meet
someone online years back and so left for a few years but it gave me faith that you can meet someone lovely if you're prepared to put in the effort. So you can say I've been back messaging since 2009.

Yes London is a tricky place to meet people despite its size and I've often met people on the outskirts or near by counties.

I am somewhat philosophical about things these days so will see what happens even though sometimes it can be a little disappointing when you get that read/unread deleted from someone you feel is pretty much perfect.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
No Replies
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:07:18 AM
I think it is harder getting reply now than ever before.

I messaged someone earlier and again read deleted, on balance when I look at it I try to be objective. I make sure I'm within their criteria before sending anything and that we have some mutual discussion points of course but all to often now its a case of constantly seeing my messages deleted without reply.

I do receive messages though most of which are from people that don't quite fit (most are not in the ball park) what I'm looking for, the difference being that I consider criteria first. I've tried long messages, short messages, unusual messages, thoughtful messages, every type but no joy. I'm lucky if 1 in 40 messages gets a reply, so that's 3 replies a year. It is deflating at times and I could 'make do' if I so desired, alas I don't.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Deleting people off Meet-Me
Posted: 2/28/2013 4:33:25 PM
Thought I would pop this forward.

Half my list of mutual meet me's I've messaged and had a message deleted so its pointless having them on there and some of the others have become mutual matches yet I'm outside of the age range on their messaging criteria.

Is there any way we can delete matches from these lists?
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
I have to upgrade to see who viewed me now???
Posted: 3/12/2012 11:40:49 AM
Just noticed this, its a bummer. Personally I really liked the feature, though this probably won't be the last feature we'll be losing in the coming months.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Person cannot entertain at home; Would this frustrate you?
Posted: 3/7/2012 1:27:54 PM
It depends on the circumstance, I moved back home (which put so much pressure on my previous relationship it ended) and with the cost of living in London haven't been able to move out. Its a shame but likely I'll remain single till that situation alters, so a 7-8 year patch.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Dating sites good or bad for dating self esteem?
Posted: 3/7/2012 12:06:18 PM
It's a mixed bag isn't it, there are times when I get so many no replies or Unread Deleted messages that it can't help but get you down. In my line of work it's impossible to meet anyone, my social circle doesn't help so that leaves clubs and online. Clubs are increasingly tiresome, in my early 20's it was great, now I just want to meet someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them and the constant rejection on here gets a little tough. Its all up's and downs though and hopefully I'll find someone eventually.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
not above size 12
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:54:25 PM
I see a lot of people comparing weight to height, the difference you can do something about your weight. I think it also say's a lot about a person and their mindset to life, each to their own, we can't help what we're attracted to or not.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 54 (view)
 
anyone been on pof for longer than a year?
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:14:21 PM
Came here probably about 7 years ago, then left for a couple of years and came back.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
contact vs no contact
Posted: 1/11/2012 4:49:13 AM

Remaining in touch, offers a glimmer of hope that things can be worked out.


Quite right, for a while I felt that way myself, she used to send letter or cards, always remembering my birthday or the other odd event. Made me feel like she did still care and I've no doubt she does, but ultimately it's over and my feelings will never change, nor should they as I was totally committed in my mind. Blimey break-ups are a tough business but I saw a really good portrail at the end of episode 3 of the recent Blackmirror series. Ultimately moving-on is hard, but you have to take all of those good memories and lock them away, take a deep breath and move on, nobody said it wasn't going to be painful but eventually you'll be free as as that glimmer of hope for reconcilliation fades away it's sad but that's the story of life.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
contact vs no contact
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:11:35 PM
It's different for everyone, in my case cutting contact was the only way to break that bond. Asisde from a email at Christmas and Birthdays, broke up almost 4 years ago and I've finally called that a day, and even now that's really tough. She's happily in another relationship and alas will always mean more to me than just being a friend, so I can't pretend otherwise and that means we really can't know each other.

If you're happy still being friends and with the person you love while they invest/love/appreciate someone else, stay in touch. But if you find that scenario unbearable, cut your losses and move on.

Treat it like a bereavement, do what you can to find closure and perhaps focus on yourself, at least that worked much better for me.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
3 days? How about 24hrs???
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:52:01 AM
I think if you have a good date and really want to see each other again then go with the flow, and if that doesn't work for the other person, well it's probably not meant to be. In all things though I would say gut instinct is usually always right, even if sometimes we wish it wasn't.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
The Male Perspective Of Online Dating So Far
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:31:25 AM
I would actually say Ok Cup*d are being the most honest, you'll probably find that's generous. If sites (especially pay sites) admitted it was more like 90% to 10% nobody would pay to join.

I would say on the replies issue it can be even more frustrating when people add you to favs and don't respond, send you a message then don't respond to their message or add you on 'meet me' only to delete any contact. The latter being a pain because you can't remove anyone from the list or hide profiles.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The Male Perspective Of Online Dating So Far
Posted: 1/3/2012 6:11:11 PM
I agree with zguy, it's tough getting replies these days. Having always worked in a male dominated environment I've always found it difficult to meet girls in my work/social circles, bars are old and online seemed to be a perfect alternative and it used to work, indeed I found a long term relationship and all was well. Coming back to the site a few years back and it's been a lot tougher, but in the last 6 months it's been impossible, I'm lucky if I get a 5% response rate. Lots of Unread Deleted messages, and that eventually makes for a 'why bother' attitude when it comes to writing nice thoughful messages, long or short. On the subject of women getting more messages, in my experience, women have always received many times that of men, in 2005 it was 9 men for every 1 woman on a variety of sites that yeiled stats and that was backed up but chatting online. Of course it depends what type of woman, I suppose in a similar way to men, If I became a body builder I might have greater chances. Either way I'm not defeatist, more realist, nevertheless I'll continue to flick out my rod, sling out some bait and hope for the best.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Hide users that are not of interest
Posted: 12/4/2011 4:10:38 AM
I agree we need something like this.

Hide users you don't want to see but it would also improve the 'meet me' feature, if you go down the top 30 it's a list of people you've contacted (they haven't replied), people who have contacted you (you haven't replied) or people who are simply not of interest. The list becomes stale and though there may be several hundred people in the list you'll only ever see the same top 30.

Talking of 'meet me' I think when you've selected a meet me selection it could be worth have a form of wink or mail me button if its a mutual match, so many people seem to click yes to meet but actually have no interest, I mail mutual's and often see the same old read deleted so perhaps its a visual think only but with it never refreshed it's difficult to tell.

Hidden profiles clear away to let new ones through, more browsing, a more useful meet me feature and all round more compelling navigation progress.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 71 (view)
 
How many times to message?
Posted: 11/25/2011 10:45:01 AM
Generally I would send just the one, there are times when I read a profile and I tick all of their boxes and they tick all of mine, and it's a real shame not to recieve a reply but that's just the way of things. I have sent a second message a couple of times and sometimes it triggers a replay, but it general it won't, so it's time to flick out that rod and grab another fishey.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Ferrari to quit Formula 1
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:31:30 AM
Actually I think this has been the best season of F1 in years, competitive teams, lots of cars in the mix, lots of drama. It's great because though Brawn haven't always been the quickest, they had the strategic edge but that will change shortly it always does.

It's always a shunt when things change in the sport but those that know F1 have seen many ups and downs, especially with the lowest period of the sport between 1998 and 2005 where Ferrari and McLaren domination reached a point where it was pointless other teams turning up.

I follow the sport, not the teams. F1 will survive, it always does and change will never be easy but the domination Ferrari had hopefully won't happen again, the sport needs to clean itself up and this all part of the process.

As for the money, as Ross Brawn said, its the limitations on technical innovation within a set price range that need to be agreed for the sport to keep its heritage as the most advanced motorsport in the world.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Ferrari to quit Formula 1
Posted: 5/12/2009 2:27:27 PM
It's always the same, if Ferrari aren't winning they're crying about it ;) boo hoo
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How old is old enough????
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:50:10 AM
If the cats haven't been neutered its to be expected I'm afraid, but I would get them seen to otherwise they'll be pissing all over your house before you know it.

Oh and about breaking up fights, I've heard that before and its a load of old rubbish. Get stuck in and break em up, my cat is 19 now and I have to be very wary as she simply couldn't handle a serious fight so protect them for their own good. Last thing you want is serious injuries and vet bills.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
'ignorant and puerile' Jade
Posted: 4/7/2009 6:38:15 AM
I think if people take the time to read the comments in full and put them in context its all correct. For those of you that watch Charlie Brooker's Newswipe, you can see the situation is entirely marketed, everything was planned? Is sad but a reality that Jade probably even planned the press coverage in the event of her death, why? Well probably to to get this princess di rubbish, again back to Parkinson's points that's why parts our society are very sad indeed and so easily manipulated by the media.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Do You Take It Whole ??
Posted: 4/4/2009 4:44:40 AM
Oh its all about biting the top off and then digging your tongue deep inside.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
McLaren Penalised Again
Posted: 4/2/2009 10:32:28 AM

Trulli did not fall of the track. He simply passed Hamilton ,as Hamilton decided for no reason to lift off the throttle, on a straight giving trulli the impression he should pass.


Oh right my mistake, from what I heard Trulli was in 3rd, fell off the road and Hamilton passed him, then Hamilton let Trulli back in again?
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
McLaren Penalised Again
Posted: 4/2/2009 6:54:36 AM
Very strange case, seemed quite straight forward to me that Trulli fell off the road? I'd love to see / hear this evidence.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Why are so many British people so opposed to the EU ?
Posted: 3/31/2009 7:13:49 PM
Why are so many British people so opposed to the EU ? Well to kick off its an unelected dictatorship! I think if people felt more in control and could understand better where it was going there wouldn't be a problem but its never clear and doesn't appear to work in the interests of the UK in general. There are always hidden agenda's which appear to be less about helping member states to help themselves and rather about inflicting burdens on other states that can ill afford it.

If we had an elected EU and key aspects were given to UK polling booths it would be another matter but as we've seen so far every time that happens the EU looses :P and that's not a British problem but an EU one ;)
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 132 (view)
 
Are you intimidated by pretty people?
Posted: 3/27/2009 5:06:13 AM
You know I think it just depends on how shy you are in general? When I was younger, say 17 and I met a lass who was dead attractive I would fall to pieces, generally ignore her and walk away haha, these days I'm the complete opposite and love a bit of chit chat with anyone. It's just life experience I guess....
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 3/27/2009 5:01:40 AM
Oh I used to reply but not so much these days, on the one hand you say "treat others as you would like to be treated" but sometimes it gives mixed messages and now its more like "treat others as you are treated" which is usually 99% no reply anyway.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Answers to emails and the affection...
Posted: 3/10/2009 10:47:51 AM
I wouldn't read too much into how long it takes someone to respond, there could be a whole host of reasons. Whats important is the quality of contact and of course finally meeting. On a personal note I tend to be a talker rather than an emailer oor texter, just because I can ramble on about 10,000 things in the time it takes me to write about it. :P
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Star Trek 11 in may, new trailer!!!
Posted: 3/9/2009 9:15:28 PM
Came across this youtube version of the original series to the soundtrack of the new trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RciBTtckeXg its quality, love the ending. :D
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Star Trek 11 in may, new trailer!!!
Posted: 3/9/2009 4:29:05 PM
Wow this trailer looks epic and as a sci fi fan I'm glad to see a fresh approach, the star trek universe became stale and too much about being politically correct.

Lets see that action, space battles, fist fights and everything else mixed up in the cluttered existence of humanity. Bodly go where no man has gone before ;D
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Bogof on a first date?
Posted: 3/7/2009 11:00:54 AM
Haha that is a bit tight, but there's no problem finding a place with a decent happy hour ;D
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Does paying for dating site=taking it seriously?
Posted: 3/4/2009 12:35:20 AM
Bugger, that's a shame, I think the site works pretty well as it is. I do think that POF attracts a slightly older audience and some of those will be driven away if they need to pay. But if free members retain all of their current permissions its no big deal.

The amounts being quoted aren't all that cheap when you seemingly get nothing for it? There needs to be greater benefits such as more photo's or better quality photos, additional options and features.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 173 (view)
 
Is it ok for your GF to hang out with Ex boyfriends?
Posted: 2/15/2009 12:46:32 PM
Hmm this is an interesting subject, it all depends very much on the situation though. If your GF or BF still have feelings for their ex then of course its a problem. It all depends on how they broke up, what the circumstances were? Why he/she is with you?

In reality if I went out with a girl and she didn't want me seeing an ex, then I would take what she says on board because her feelings would be important to me.


If you let your gf hang with her ex and she cheats on you mate, its your own fault, obviously you couldnt give her what she needed and he could,


The point here is not what he can do for her but what does she want him in the first place? If she's going out with someone else just to make her ex jealous then anyone she uses will be hurt in the process.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Should we let our kids play with toy weapons?
Posted: 1/8/2009 3:27:06 PM

Who watched James May's Top Toys then? lol


Haha yeah I spotted that too, though I think they do produce green and brown now, that was just years back.

Anyway I had loads of toy guns loved em, but then I had loads of action toys too, from Transformers (with big guns) to Star Wars toys (mostly had big guns) to airfix model kits (mostly war ships and planes with big guns). Its all down to parenting really but blaming toys for the ills of society is a bit naive .

Right I'm off to play Call of Duty World at War and shoot some Germans / or Russians / or Americans depending on the game mode haha...
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Dealing with the stigma of online dating
Posted: 1/2/2009 11:44:27 AM
To me the stigma is long gone, I've made some wonderful friends online and had a great relationship. It's always fun to meet people from different social circles and I'd say those that don't understand it are probably being a bit ignorant and could probably do with having a go themselves. :)
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Lewis Hamilton wins F1 World Championship!!
Posted: 11/3/2008 6:41:07 AM
Yep I'm with message 14, if Hamilton could barely take that corner in intermediate tyres it must have been like an ice rink for Glock, he gambled and failed. But what drama, Hamilton should have won the championship weeks ago if it wasn't for the stewards but for it all to come down to the final corner I had to laugh and seeing the expressions change in the Ferrari garage was pure comedy, I still laugh when I think about it.

But as you say, we need more Jenson! I can't wait to see Jenson where he belongs back at the front and hopefully Honda have given Ross Brawn the power he needs to make that happen.

So many changes next year I can't even begin to guess the new layout but it sure is going to be competitive.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 67 (view)
 
How many times have you had your heart broken?
Posted: 11/2/2008 3:46:46 PM
Been badly hurt once, broken into a million pieces another time but I'll never get better at handling it, you can protect yourself to a point but to love, its all open from there and if you don't open your heart to love you're missing out on life. Question is does the extended period of unspeakable emotional pain make up for those fleeting moments of joy? Well that's debatable for everyone, I just find life makes me philosophical.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
The worlds financial meltdown
Posted: 11/2/2008 3:37:44 PM

I really don't know how things work, but I suspect the last thing any of us need in a recession is another Tory government. They'd just let everything go down the pan without lifting a finger to help.


I see this mentioned quite a lot but isn't it 11 years of Labour government that's got us into this mess? Now they continue to let the banks give each other huge bonuses with our money and continue reckless and irresponsible lending?
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Lewis Hamilton wins F1 World Championship!!
Posted: 11/2/2008 3:32:11 PM
Yeah a great result for Lewis and for the sport, he had to take on 3 Ferrari's and Alonso today and managed to hang in there, great work and thankfully the rain came down just hard enough to make it all possible.

Well done Lewis! :D
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 127 (view)
 
does how someone kiss make a difference
Posted: 10/29/2008 7:42:04 AM
Oh yeah its very important, if someone kisses like a monkey its never really gonna hit the mark.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
am I getting cynical or is income an issue where relationships are concerned
Posted: 10/29/2008 7:18:44 AM
I don't care if a lass lives in a carboard box and can't afford a pot to piss in, if I love her that's all irrelevant to me. However unfortunately I've never met a lass who feels the same way about me through my ups and downs. :/
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Are Brand's and Ross's apology over obscene phone calls enough?
Posted: 10/29/2008 7:07:56 AM
They've been a pair of**** twats and now they're getting their wrists slapped.


I cant imagine Ross laughing if one of his daughters sexual exploits were aired for all to hear..


Good point! :)
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
*~*~ HALLOWEEN PARTY AT CORK'S NIGHTCLUB - SATURDAY 25TH OCTOBER 2008 ~*~*
Posted: 10/25/2008 1:49:58 PM
Haven't managed to make it along tonight :/ not well so staying in, typical.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 90 (view)
 
HAMILTON DEMOTED FROM FIRST
Posted: 9/10/2008 7:37:13 AM
There's no getting away that Ferrari is a major part of the issue, any regular F1 fan knows that had this been any other team it wouldn't be an issue.

Its a racing incident, Kimi held his line pushed Lewis off the track, he came back on let Kimi past who couldn't cover the racing line line and obviously couldn't brake as late, it's wasn't a decisive factor in the finish and we know the stewards are biased, Ferrari are simply too powerful within the sports political and financial circles and have consistently used their powers to bend the rules over the last 12 years.

This is nothing new its just so utterly blatant that its gained more news, the Mosley attack on McLaren continues to damage the battered reputation of F1 and it's not just Lewis loosing, its the sport that's and its fans that are loosing.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Boris Johnson's speech at olympic handover!
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:29:11 AM
I thought Borris's speech was both brilliant and hilarious, good on him.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Do you like your partner's intelligence to match yours?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:11:39 PM
Personally I'd like someone either of equal or greater intelligence than myself, its a quality I really respect.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
how do you like your perfect cuppa?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:06:41 AM
I drink way too much tea, but Loose Tea for the win! Oh and don't forget to warm the pot ;)
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Speed dating..?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:59:56 AM
Did it years ago, good fun, talk about anything random you can pick up in 1 second whether they're attractive, then a short sample to see if its even worth a date.

I was stupid and thought it would be gentlemanly to only pick 1 of the lasses, met her at a date a few days later and she mentioned "well I still have 6 more guys to see on this list", right I should have done the same.

Oh and barring in mind that half the ladies weren't single and were only there to support their mates or effectively teasing a few of the guys.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
can you ever love again with the intensity....
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:10:38 PM
Absolutely, the perils of life bring these feelings ever more to the surface giving us all greater clarity. Important thing is to continue to keep that youthful openness no matter what the possible consequence.
 BouncyBall
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:26:00 PM

if a guy has never cut his apron strings and left mummy's side by the time he's reached his late 40's then he certainly wouldn't be the type of man who would ring my bell.


You can't throw everyone into one basket, the single biggest reason keeping most people at home is finances, hence the recession because first time buyers don't have a chance. There are millions of people that would love a bit more space given that leg up the financial ladder, people who have had that chace should count themselves lucky.

But I'd never judge a lass based on where she's living or who she's living with, call it baggage (or parental baggage) but then you could label that to every single mum in the world and thats not fair either.

Note its not about just labeling this a male issue, in todays world its important to see it from both sides.
 
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