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 Author Thread: What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
 Zoe1953
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 486 (view)
 
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 3/16/2013 10:43:15 AM
Personally, I find that those that don't get snapped up, both men and women, are those for whom it is not their highest priority in life, and has nothing to do with their appeal. They usually are quite successful at being single, and need to meet someone that really attracts their attention to cause them to relinquish a comfortable, evolved and full life.
Most people keep changing things until they get to where they are comfortable, then they stay there. While it is true that a perfect match is not simple to find, perfectly good matches are all over the place if you are open to them.

This is true.. as it is for me.. I am successful at single.. I didn't intend to be.. didn't want ot be, but the male pool is quite shallow and narrow of late... Also, I really have to "feel it" with the person I am meeting.. I really dont compromise on the Chemistry thing.. there has to be a connection.. a spark. We can work from there.
Also, there are no " strict rules" to love or to apprecate another's life or self..such as, "they must be this and they must be that in order to win my attention, and be worthy."
Everyone has a gift or two.. some will mesh with my gifts and others will not.. I am willing to wait on the right combination.. although it is hard at times to be patient.
 Zoe1953
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 9:30:49 AM
Just as so many have said on here.. you are not alone.. however, it is frustrating and does make one more wary and cautious. Yes, as i read here, men do have the same experiences as we do. There are ignorant, selfish women and men out there ready to pounch on your good nature.. I have been on and off of here for several years.. and have pretty much seen it all, and heard it all as well.
Like you, it pisses me off to make a connection when meeting a man who appears to be a nice person, that you enjoyed talking to, and then not hear from him again..... not even a "I'm sorry, but" or a " this is why I can't see you".. explaination. I ALWAYS get back to the person and tell them my thoughts and feelings about the meeting. While going thru this trial & error I try to think that the worst that could happen in a "meet & greet" is that you make a new friend, but many men I have encountered can't seem to understand basic human behavior. It is and has been, "you need to have sex with me on the first date then I wil see if you are worthy..." and more than once, i have had a man tell me on the phone, "I hope you don''t want to meet for dinner, because most women on here are just looking for a free meal". I ask all women reading this forum, it is terrible that many men on POF think we cannot feed ourselves.. who out there is perpetuating that stereotype?????? Not I..
In the over 50 - 65 group, I have met more than one man who after the first date thinks I should behave toward him as though we have been dating for months...or more the second, wants to have my house and take over my life.. generally I believe because they do not have a life themselves and are pretending to be someone they are not... they need what you have and what I have worked for..
The thing is, I really want to share it all... me included.. I just dont want to give it away to the lazy, the untruthful one and the "I think I am all that and you should too" man!!
I want to find my last love and have a great rest of my life. I wish we had a finger clamp (like at the hospital) that measured truth, pulse and intention.. at least then we could make a informed decision!!! LOLOLOL.
 
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