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 Author Thread: The excuses
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 174 (view)
 
The excuses
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:13:20 PM
I have to admit I was one that used the excuse saying it was to protect him but it was me. I knew he wasn't looking for something serious, I got affraid because it was going so well and I was beginning to care. So I pulled the "its not what your looking for so I'll step back and give you a break". Thank goodness I woke up and came to my senses about 4 months later and fortunately we were able to get back to being comfortable around each other and he had been actually getting serious about me when I was feeling the same thing.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
The man I've been sleeping with is having sex with someone else!!!!!
Posted: 7/21/2007 8:28:55 AM
So I am reading this right, you are angry and surprised because your ex is sleeping with his new girlfriend. You really have no right to be uspet, you are now the "other" woman. I don't think you should tell her, she doesn't deserve to be hurt and the only reason I think you want her to know is to break them up. Stay away from him he's not yours anymore and let yourself heal.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 258 (view)
 
It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 7/18/2007 2:00:38 AM
I did not have a photo for a long time either and only because I am techno challenged when it comes to cameras. I do have a few photos now and have arranged for a friend to come and do several photos that are more flaterring that what I have now. I am a bbw but never do I say 10lbs or so overweight. I am honest about my looks and attitude. There are some honest people out there...don't make assumptions based on a bad experience. Oh and there is always the possiblity that that gal may not be thrilled with you when you meet photo or not..we are not all perfect in everyone's eyes.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
If she only had one Condom, a potential relationship could have been saved.
Posted: 7/17/2007 12:49:04 PM
In these times a condom is a necessary fact of life. I have to wonder why he knowing he was going to her house didn't bring his own condom. I do keep some with me also for my protection and my partner's. I think she should consider herself lucky to be out of it now, he is very rigid in his values and there would be trouble sooner or later my guess sooner.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Dating but mourning
Posted: 7/17/2007 5:31:15 AM
The grieving process is an individual thing hon and if anyone dares to judge you they are idiots. I am sure your sister would want to to enjoy life, remember her and honor her memory but build your own memories also.

Your probably still numb and in shock and although its not the real thing here are some bigs hugs to you. Feel free if you ever need a cyber friend to email me directly. I will admit when I lost my mom in 2004 I almost went through a wild stage...seeming to being trying to replace her by casual affairs. Fortunately that didn't last too long and I allowed myself to feel my pain instead of covering it up. The only advice I can give you for the day is to get through it and its not an easy task some days.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/16/2007 6:08:41 PM
I have read it and have re-read it a couple of times. I know from the responses there have been some conclusions drawn, but to me basically the book is saying that men prefer self sufficient, independent, intelligent women they don't want to date their mother, a cling-on or a stalker. Its not saying be a "****" just saying looking after yourself first and demand the respect you deserve a great book for any woman to read!
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
How much is too much?
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:41:42 AM
I am often a Stand by Your Man type of gal and would gladly support my fellow as long as we were working together towards a common goal and the relationship had RESPECT!

Sweetie, he is using you to get where he wants to go and then he'll dump you. I would say goodbye now, its going to hurt yes but its going to happen sooner or later anyhow. Its not a "healthy" relationship and you deserve better. He is not trying to help in any way financially or emotionally in fact I think he's bringing you down.

Let him go, learn from the relationship, remember the good things and you'll be all the richer...financially and emotionally.
Hugs
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
smokers dating non smokers!!!!
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:49:07 PM
Even though I am a non-smoker I would never ask someone to quit or I will stop seeing them. That being said, the first thing I check is if they are a smoker or non smoker. I guess its a choice also. I am a BBW and know that some men prefer the skinny gals, am I going to lose weight just to date one particular individual no. If you quit smoking it should be because you want to not to save a relationship.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
my ex keeps coming back
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:58:57 PM
Tough sitiuation hopefully he will eventually get the hint that your not interested any more. Maybe you should sit him dow and tell him that its done nicely of course.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Out of all your ex dates etc - is there a certain one...
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:56:54 PM
There are two for me that will always be in my heart. The first is actually my first love. I was 17 he was 35 (I started things not him) We were together until I was 21 so 5 years and first love was a big deal.
The second is most recent we broke up 3 years ago, still call each on our birthdays and he came to my mother's funeral to support me. The first night together at his apartment I knew immediately that my heart was in big trouble.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 446 (view)
 
Do Men REALLY Like to Cuddle?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:52:58 AM
As a woman of course I love to cuddle and its nice to wake up briefly and just be reassured that your partner is there. But I also like my own space in the bed when its time to really sleep to much time in my bed alone I guess..as long as I have blankets I'm good. My favorite thing is to lay on the sofa with my fellow listening to 70 tunes in the dark and napping.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
I'm done!!!
Posted: 6/28/2007 3:28:20 AM
I can understand your dilema I am a big girl as well and yes I have met my fair share of jerks but guessing skinny gals do also. I read your profile sweetie, you need to reveal the positives such as a great sense of humor, obviously you have many interests and a brain which some men do appreciate.

There are guys that prefer a full figured gal and I can say that for a fact. I have a special friend who doesn't mind my weight at all. Be honest when your talking with someone, tell them if they are looking for the tall skinny ditsy blonde they need to look elsewhere your a special treasure that needs a special fellow.

Think positive, get a great hair style, thats what I did and made me feel like a million bucks. Normally I don't spend that much on my hair but I needed a boost. If you ever need a friend to chat with I'm here for you. Maybe we could get a big gal's club going!
Julie
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
OMG! Found my friends' husband on this site!
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:29:08 PM
If you find a solution please let me know, actually I have a similar problem my best friend who is married is on this site. I have to admit it bothered me and I will have to talk to her. I suspect you friend is most likely aware of her husbands exploits. Keep an eye on the profile and maybe at some point email his with your concerns and what you are aware of that he is doing...
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
HOW HONEST ARE YOU ABOUT YOURSELF
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:17:20 AM
I am very honest about my intentions, lifestyle and of course health status. There are some things from past that I would share with a long term partner that are important but only if this person is going to be long term I would feel it necessary to share with him. In a new or casual relationship its not something that is important and actually in a long term not something that would effect the relationship but something I feel should be shared for honesty sake.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
setting myself up for failure???
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:35:55 AM
I would say your already involved with him and feelings are there. He is trying to be honest and upfront and work on a solid relationship with you. I'm the first one to say oops going to get hurt need to run fast..but I've learned running doesn't help the heartache. Talk to him, explain that your willing to trust him but any cheating or bad behaviour is a deal breaker.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Dating for 1month & he's still checking other profiles online. Continue seeing him? or Is it a sign?
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:01:03 AM
Sorry its going a little rough for you. It seems he's backing off a bit and maybe you should to. I'm not for playing games but (I know I'm going to get called out by the men) he think's he's got you where he wants you. Get out of that corner, don't always be at he beck and call, don't answer the phone right away, be out and about, have a life, enjoy life and he will certainly wonder whats going on. No reason why you can't do a little fishing of your own.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I am sick of this
Posted: 6/12/2007 3:00:35 PM
Sorry that your getting the run around, unfortunately it happens. I don't think its just on these dating sites I think relationships in general often give a few bruises. I wish I could tell you things get better with age..but I'd rather not lie. I at one point thought you know what I'm 43, whats another 20 years or so alone I'd be better off. Then I met someone whose not the one but has turned out to be a wonderful friend. So my advice is keep trying your going to get a lot of crap in the pile but you will find a gem somewhere in the middle. Hugs to you sweet fellow!
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Dating Turn Off Triggers
Posted: 6/12/2007 5:04:25 AM
As silly as it sounds the biggest one is if he uses the expression yum, yummy or yummulicious because of an ex who used this expression with me and when I learned he used it with another lady friend at the time. Not entirely fair to the current fellow so if they did happen to use it once I'd try to figure out a way to stop him from using it in the future...like say using that term would be like me calling you my little sugar, wugar bear!
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Why it doesn't work!
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:57:11 PM
What I am finding is you (male or female btw) begin talking and emailing with someone and they treat you like you are the only person on the world life is great. Then suddenly the emails begin to slow down somewhat, your chatting and they basically are ignoring you thats when the light goes on they have a "backup" plan that needs their attention since this one may not work out.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Father/Daugher relationship- - - Need some advice please
Posted: 6/6/2007 8:37:43 AM
Sweetie, I'm sorry for what you are going through, but you obviously have a lot of support here. I would suggest seeing a councellor yourself to help you heal and work through your issues. If you don't deal with things as they come along that baggage gets pretty heavy as you get older.

My father was also an alcoholic and believe me the fights and brawls each weekend were not nice. However, my father was quite sick we didn't know what was going on and one of the last things I did was make him toast and tuck him into bed. That was on Sunday evening the next Friday he passed away..I am so glad to have that memory. Life is short hon and we never know when we will lose someone close. In 2004 my mom passed away and I always tell my friends to appreciate your parents for what and who they are..being an orphan at 42 is never fun.

Your dad has had a difficult life also and he need some support as he is trying to get better and build a bridge between..take some baby steps, protect your heart but open it up also. Hugs to you!
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 102 (view)
 
What do men think when their wives are aging and losing their figure?
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:55:54 AM
What the men have a magic pill and don't get older...better to have a woman full of botox and plastic. We all get older and change btw you will at some point get older to and perhaps your spouse may look at you and decide a younger model is in order. Do you tell your partners they have an expiry date/age.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 103 (view)
 
As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 5:28:55 PM
It is rude to ask personal questions from the get go I agree. I just realized I never look or care what their profession is. First thing I check is the smoking and if they are married beyond that for a beginning of a friendship the rest is to be discoved. Good luck in meeting that special lady she's out there somewhere. J
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 146 (view)
 
Friends with Benefits
Posted: 6/2/2007 1:16:26 AM
Sorry you had such a tough time. I went through the same thing on another site and did ask for advice on turning of emotions when your in the FWB situation only to add to it he was very honest and upfront and had other partners but one in particular who I knew exactly when he was spending the weekend with her. He got very upset when I did that post and said I attacked him. In fact he is still going on about it in his blog.
I think if I didn't know about this other lady I would have been ok, but he and she were very descriptive in their blogs about things. Sad part is she is quoting his phrases thinking he only uses them for her and if I hear the term "yum" ever again I'll be forced to hit someone.
Bottom line if your a one on one gal, say no to FWB its not a good thing, take care of yourself and then you'll be guaranteed to be looked after.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Do Not Dating List
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:01:38 PM
I believe thtat that need to be approved by the "recepient" before they will be shown on the site an can also be dleted at will by the recepient...probably before a lawyer would be required.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Should I call or play him at his own game?
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:20:44 PM
If you ever get a chance to buy a book get this one Why Men Love ****es. Its funny and truthful. Guys before flip out the book just basically says not to be clingy, be independent and give the guy some room.
I hate to say but your gut instinct is telling you something...thats not a good thing. The best thing would be to sit down and talk to him about it. If it ends then at least you can move forward this limbo thing sucks and does weird things to our mind.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How am I suppose to know what the hell YOU want, when YOU don’t even know
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:11:19 PM
Sorry you've had such a hard time in love...generally it sucks. I wouldn't knock the older guys by the way I've actually found that they are more polite and caring and treat a woman right.
Can't offer any advice, I've had my share of crappy relationship and one with a guy who was bipolar actually. I have to say I still have scars from that one but if he called me in the middle of the night and needed me I'd be there. Take care of yourself, be honest with your partner from the beginning that way no surprises.
 happyprincess
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
You think YOU have it tough?? Try being a redheaded guy!
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:33:36 PM
Red hair is sexy and special. My son is a red head and admittedly thats the first thing I said is oh my god he's got red hair. But if you notice the trend these day people are dying their hair red.

To the "fellow" that said red hair sucks....well my son has had no shortage of friends for a 21 year old red head<
 
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