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 Author Thread: RIP *cowboy*
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 39 (view)
 
RIP *cowboy*
Posted: 6/11/2015 7:39:56 PM
I was very sorry to hear of this. I always wished I'd met him, he was funny & kind & sweet.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Odd line in an older gentleman's profile. Ideas?
Posted: 1/18/2014 7:13:42 PM
Many (I am not sure if it could be categorized as most) Christians will not date non-Christians. And I would suppose that the opposite is also true. As a general rule I do not date Christians (when I am single & looking), because it has been my experience that their views is that all other belief systems/views are wrong &/or evil. And also I prefer men who are intelligent & open-minded.

This man is trying to make clear something that is a deal-breaker for him. Which is what a good profile should do.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Vancouver and Groupon: good, bad or ugly?
Posted: 7/14/2013 4:37:45 PM
I totally agree with FatPandaz. I suppose it might be a good weeding tool, to pick out the unsuitable matches. I always prefer a coffee date for a first meet (back when I was looking). Quick, simple & easily extended if you want to.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Friends
Posted: 5/26/2013 3:14:00 PM

Making new friends isn't easy, but getting out and socializing is VERY easy and along with that comes new friends. - verygreeneyez

I wish that it was that easy, for some of us, it's not. I didn't see anything in your profile Kevin, that indicated if you were shy. You sure don't sound it. But since I am very shy, it occurred to me, that this might be an issue for you, in making new friends. And I know better than to make assumptions, as people will often say that I don't "look" shy.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Crossdressing; tell up front, or wait? Another bad experience.
Posted: 5/26/2013 2:54:57 PM

Few and very far between, and there's no way to find them. - sometimes-miss

I have a friend (I have actually seen him on this thread several times) who tells me that heavy metal lovers, are a bit more open to this kind of thing. I don't know if you like heavy metal, or if there are any clubs/groups where you are at, but I figured it was worth mentioning. I have actually found that artists & musicians, writers, tend to be a bit more open minded about life in general. Free-thinkers, if you will. That might be an avenue worth considering.
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You can't have a true relationship unless you accept yourself first. How can you be with someone that is in love with a false idea of who you are? Healthy relationships usually aren't built on lies. That's why I suggest that people who are outside the vanilla social norms to check out clubs in larger cities. There are open minded people out there if you know where to look. Just as it's not the norm for people to seek out overweight partners, there are those who don't care about your weight, and even some that prefer larger partners. Sometimes it's worth it to look in the right places. - Coma White

There's the quote I was looking for, of course I couldn't find it before!!
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is there anything wrong with my profile?
Posted: 3/19/2013 7:16:32 PM
I am not sure since I have rarely ever dated anyone in the "dating" category, but your profile seems too laid-back. Like you spent 5 minutes writing it & don't really care if you meet anyone or not. For me though, someone over 25 who isn't looking "long term" & most especially "un-decided" in the "Want kids" category, would be a HUGE red flag to me. But that's based on me & what I want out of life, the type of man I was looking for (before I met my husband here).

I would try & do some better pictures, unless you are fibbing about your age. Seriously, you look more like 23 than 33. And speaking of pictures, lose the one with the young woman. Even if it happens to be your siseter (in which case, you should've captioned it), it still makes you look like a player.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Marriage, do you believe in it, why/not?
Posted: 2/26/2013 8:58:47 PM

Has it occurred to anyone, that all those people who are actually happy in their marriages or relationships, are not contributing to this thread or members of POF. - nipoleon


Not entirely true, my friend. There are some couples (married or not), who came here, met here & became addicted to the forums. My profile clearly states that I am "married", "not looking" & here for the forums, only. I know 5 local couples (Vancouver , BC area) who met here & are now married, plus 2 engaged couples.

It's been interesting reading all the varying responses to this thread. My viewpoint is this: Marriage is a committment between me & my husband. The church & the state have no say in our committment. It's a bond of love, a promise we have made to one another. We both put the other first & our relationship, which is why it works so well.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Social Standards applied here...
Posted: 2/12/2013 12:28:40 AM
Actaully, some of the successful ones stay for the fourms. Or leave & return, like I did. I think the forums are addictive. I met my husband here & had 2 other relationships fr0m here, over a 6 year time period.

I also know 3 couples who met here (locally), who are now married. And one couple that is engaged.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Anyone ever tried a Windows XP reload ?
Posted: 1/18/2013 8:32:58 AM
I have to agree with *Cowboy* that this might be a good time to upgrade to Windows 7. I was reluctant to do so, I only upgraded to XP from 98, 5 years ago. But I am finding more & more things that XP just doesn't work well with & that problem is only going to get worse. And if you have DVD burner, that might be a faster & easier way to backup, rather than hooing the old hard drive up. If you don't have a good DVD burner program, there are plenty of free ones out there. Also many companies give you a 15 (or 30) day free trail, to check out their newest software.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Long Distance Online Dating...How do you do it properly?
Posted: 11/10/2012 10:58:32 PM
I think since you are already planning on leaving your current location, what you are considering makes a lot of sense. Let me describe my last experience dating long distance here on POF.

I came back on here after the end of a 4 year relationship with someone I met here. I wasn't meeting anyone locally, so after 6 months I decided that since I was already retired due to disability, there was really no reason to stay here. So I planned & took a couple of trips & met several interesting men from here (& other sites). I wasa reading a thread by a girl friend here about the difficulties in dating when disabled. I saw a man who repsonded & his photo really caught my eye. So I read his profile & immeadiately added him to my favorites list. That was 2 years ago in late August. He got in touch with me, we talked every day (Yahoo & Skype). I arranged to visit him for a month in November. As soon as we met in person, we both knew. We've been married since January & are currently living together in Canada (he's originally from Idaho). We had 5 visits in that 1 & 1/2 years, 1 month each, with 2 months in between. It was incredibly difficult at times, but totally worth it!

I wish you all the rest, OP. Good luck!
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 46 (view)
 
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/25/2012 9:43:24 PM

Also, I just looked at your profile and not to be rude but theres nothing big about you that would lead her to believe that you were going to be well endowed...... I wouldn't expect you to be well endowed. Perhaps she already knows. - scared888

According to his profile. he's 6'1". Many people believe there is a correlation between height & "size".
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How to appropriately touch wife's chest
Posted: 10/22/2012 1:34:18 PM

Just remember, those things on the ends are not radio knobs. - Abelian

Now THAT^ is good advice! Another would be to take good care of your skin. Being touched anywhere is more enjoyable, if your skin doesn't feel like sandpaper.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/6/2012 1:16:28 PM
GettingThere_isPartTheFun, I want to thank you for a very interesting thread. These usually end up a "gold-digger/gender-bashing" vitrolic mess that ends up getting deleted. There are a lot of different factors in compatibility, & this is apparently one of them, for many people of both genders. I am disabled/retired & I found when I was still single & looking, that it was difficult to meet men, because the very few who were interested in a stay-at-home spouse, were generally much younger & wanted kids. I don't have age gap issues (I dated a 35 year old widower when I was 18, my 4th husband was 12 years my junior); but I can't have any more kids. I was very lucky, a friend of mine here started a thread about how difficult is is to date when you are disabled. I was reading it when I saw a very good-looking man posting, who happened to have fibromyalgia & CFS, as I do. I messaged him 2 years ago & we are now married. Because I had found it too difficult to meet anyone auitable locally, I finally decided that I would be open to re-locating, for the right person.

It's funny, I just remembered, I met a lawyer in LA on a different site. He got very uptight at first, when I asked him about his work. I studied law in high school & once considered becoming a lawyer. Therefore I found him intelectually interesting, which surprised him, as he assumed the only reason I would be interested in a lwayer, is the money. I rarely even look at the "profession", it rarely matters to me.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 33 (view)
 
profile picture was at least 10 to 15 yrs old
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:28:42 PM
I remember meeting someone here back in 2005. As soon as we saw each other, we both changed ou minds about going out on a date. I don't know why he felt that way, as my picture wasn't that old (1999). His was probably much older, as he had brown hair in the photo & gray hair, in person. I am aware that early gray is genetic, so he wasn't neccessarily lying about his age. But the photo on his profile was certainly a lie.
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I've met women off of here who looked less than desirable in the photographs and some who blew me away because they looked WAY better. Comes with the territory. - H0wAboutIt

Some people are not photogenic, can't be helped. Other times, it depends on the skills of the photographer. When we met in person, I found that my (now) husband looked WAY better than his photos & better than the webcam on Skype.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 73 (view)
 
INTRODUCTIONS
Posted: 9/10/2012 6:48:39 PM

And "This is _____________, the love of my life" is the best way to introduce a spouse or significant other. - 1388SmartBlond

I think that's very romantic. My husband calls me that, generally when we are alone, though. I used to be bugged by the term girlfriend, when my son & his ex has their daughter. Seriously, you live together, have a baby & they can't find a better word, just because they aren't married yet? I just referred to her as my daughter-in-law.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
The Positive Relationship Thread
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:56:53 PM

I would like to know any of the positive things that you give, have given, or receive from your partner that helps maintain mutually beneficial and healthy relationships. - HaydenFan

I almost always shop by myself, especially for clothes. Until. now. I LOVE shopping with my new husband, especially for clothes! We think in similar ways, when it comes to money & value (except for clothes). And there's nothing like seeing someone stunningly beautiful & knowing the look he'll have on his face, when I try it on.

And it's a wonderful feeling, knowing that someone is ALWAYS in your corner & has your back.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Going dancing
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:51:24 PM

If you are not comfortable with her going out dancing "with the girls" she should respect that. However, if she loves dancing you should make an effort to take her out dancing. - FairOaksChick

Excellent answer! With my last LTR before meeting my husband, we were at a POF dance event once, just before we agreed to become a committed couple. It was I think our 2nd date. Anyway, I asked him if it would bother him if I danced with other men, once I was his girlfriend. He answered yes. So I said "Fine, then it will be your job to take me dancing." Granted in Abbotsford, there aren't many places or opportunities, but we did go dancing a couple of times.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 56 (view)
 
She dumped him because he preheats the oven
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:36:19 PM

My ex actually had a very similar habit of expecting that everything that someone did for her, had to be done in the exact WAY that she was used to things being done. Sweeping the floor had to be done the "right way," not just anyway that got it clean. But amazingly enough, I don't think she's O.C., just.....a bit of a control freak. - IgorFrankensteen

A bit?! Seriously? Reminds me of my 3rd husband, everything had to be done the way his mother had done it. And I remember once I yelled at him, told him "that I knew how to do things without his constant b*tching & to kindly F*ck off & don't let the door hit you in the a$$, on your way out!" And he actually burst into tears. I mean, WTF? And I swear, if I ever hear the phrase "That's not the way my mother did it", ever again, I will probably throttle someone (I am SO glad that we're divorced!)
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How to deal with boyfriend pressuring me to do things I am uncomfortable with in bed.
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:32:20 PM

I have had this problem before with a previous boyfriend and it led to the destruction of the relationship so I want to make sure I handle the issue tactfully and well to avoid losing another boyfriend. I have already made lots of compromises for him in other areas and don't feel that this is an area where I should be expected to compromise. Any tips from anyone who has faced this problem before? - cecdwarfer

Clearly your "picker" need work, compatibility is important in a relationship & so is respect. I had a lot of trouble when I was much younger, because I wasn't assertive enough, when it came to men. It took me a long time to establish clear boundaries. This man is behaving very disrespectfully. You probably should've discussed sex before getting into a committed relationship, I know that can be difficult to do (I am very shy, it is for me), but sexual compatibility is important, you need to know that you are somewhat on the same page & will repsect each others boundaries.
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And I have to disagree with ohenryx^ I think we have different ideas about what a gentleman is, in the bedroom. It doesn't mean boring, it means loving & respectful. My husband would never try & pressure me into anything that I wasn't comfortable with, & I wouldn't want to pressure him in any area that he was uncomfortable with, either.

And in reference to asking more than once, my kids knew by the time they were 2, that nagging doesn't get you anywhere good. And I would certainly expect more from my partner, than a child, in terms of respectful behaviour. I am glad it worked for you ohenryx, but for most of us, I don't think it would. Just my viewpoint.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Review please.. thank you
Posted: 8/12/2012 4:18:34 PM
I would eliminate the 3 photos on the left, they aren't very good. And I see you alread took someone else's advice & change your body type. People of both genders, tend to asusme the worst, if you choose "prefer not to say."
Other than that, I don't see anything else that needs tweaking. Msg # 5 has a good point, you should try searching & contacting men, as well. That's how I met my husband.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
how to handle arguments
Posted: 8/11/2012 8:02:45 PM

Is it reasonable for a guy, when his girl has done something that gets on his nerves, to walk out of the room for a few minutes to clear his head and cool off? - by_the_numbers

Okay, I am of 2 minds on this subject. Yes, I will sometimes do the cooling off thing, but I would have to be so furious that I was quite incapable of having a civil discussion. The arguement you refer to in the Op is so damn trivial, it's difficult to see a person even getting mildly upset over it, let alone so enraged that they needed to cool off? Do you have an un-controllable, violent temper?
However, I also read that:

She flipped out and ended up leaving.

And I find myself thinking, "Jesus, are these 2 still in F*ing high school? So I went back (as I should've done to start with, I suppose) & read the OP's profile. He's 25. So presumably she is of a similar age. All I can say is for 25, you sound extremely immature.
By the way, does your girlfriend know that your profile says you are single & looking for a relationship? Or did you just forget to change your status after meeting the girlfriend?
Curious minds want to know ;)
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To make matters worse; storming out is not a man's weapon. - surfaceofficer

I do not agree with this, I believe a good man, will refuse to allow his temper to get the better of him, in a situation with his woman. I still think the OP was way over-reacting, but that's just my opinion, based on his description of their arguement.

One certainty in relationships is that if a woman wants someone who acts like a baby...she'll lay down and have one of her own.

^This however, damn near made me fall off my chair, laughing!!!! ROFLMFAO!!
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dating one person at a time - Old Fashioned?
Posted: 8/7/2012 5:44:11 PM
It depends on your definition of "dating". To me, dating is a tool for weeding out those who would not be compatible for a Long Term relationship. I generally have a pretty good idea of how we might mesh, after enailing, IM/chat & perhaps talking on the phone, prior to our first "date." If I feel that we "hit it off" well enough to enter into a relationship, I am generally clear about it. Just my take on it.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/5/2012 12:53:45 PM

I have been talking with this guy for months. We have many things in common , He like the way I think - ImBnB

I think THIS^ is really important, more than the surprise info you just recieved. How does this information really change the chemistry dynamics, is the key. Bi-sexuals are just as capable as heterosexuals, of being faithful. You do however, need to be clear with him, exactly what kind of relationship you are looking for & make sure you have the same definitions of "faithful". I had a bisexual freiend who was interested in marrying me, but his idea of "faithful/monogamous", meant only one of each!! Wrong! (for me, anyway).
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It's not you being responsible for someone repressing a part of themself, it's your partner being responsible for their own sexual appetites and integrity by not having sex outside a relationship if monogamy is what you've both agreed to.

Is it possible that they may miss certain aspects of same sex conduct if with a person of the opposite sex? Quite possible, but a heterosexual person might miss certain aspects that they engaged in before becoming monogamous too. Maybe their current partner has a lower sex drive than them, or doesn't prefer to do it any other way than missionary with the lights off.


If you're deeply in love with someone and you're overall sexually compatible, there's going to have to be compromise at some point. No one is ever likely to be with someone who can do EVERYTHING the way they like it, in bed or outside of bed. It's not sexual incompatibility to be with someone and not be able to give them one particular thing if you're giving them everything else. - QueenSaru

Yes, exactly!! There are some things that we like & miss, but that are not deal-breakers. That does not make a couple sexually incompatible.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Near our breaking point.
Posted: 8/4/2012 10:29:36 PM

He comes from a family that has issues with marriage (I won't go into more detail because I believe that negates his privacy and I rather not do that.)
Steve_032 (she said)

While I respect that you don't wish to divulge something that is private, I hope that the 2 of you are able to communicate on this issue. I don't know if you need professional counselling, but I think he needs to determine if (with or without professional help), he can overcome his aversion to marriage, but more importantly, does he WANT to? It sounds like he is/was happy with the casual relationship that you've established & doesn't want/need anything more. But you do & this is the problem. If he can't /or won't give you the relationship you want & need to be happy & fulfilled, then he is Mr. Wrong. There's simply no other way to say it. If you don't want the same kind of life, or the same kind of relationship, then you are clearly incompatible. I am surprised you didn't find out before becoming a couple, that you were looking for the same thing. Or even before meeting. Why would even want to have a date with someone who would be so incompatible? A waste of both our time. To me, someone who would be reluctant to move in together or marry? Total deal breaker for me! And I wouldn't have been nearly as patient as you have been, either.
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Excellent post Stray_Cat (msg #8) Brilliant & insightful.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
pics
Posted: 7/31/2012 5:56:43 PM

I will beat this dead horse again...
MEET MEET MEET....
One way to solve if people are they say they are....MEET.
The faster the better. - boringdude07

I agree that this is a good idea, whenever it is possible. When I first met my hsuband on here, because of the distance involved, it took 4 months before we could meet in person. He had several pictures, but most were a few years old & his webcam was not flattering to him, so it made me wonder how he'd aged, if he'd gained weight? He had a friend take a photo of him & he emailed it to me, he hated it, but I loved it! He looks even better in person ;)
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
pics
Posted: 7/29/2012 2:59:56 PM

I can't do photos on my phone either, so if someone chooses to not believe that, screw 'em. - abelian

Not only does my cell phone not do pics, I don't even know how to text! LOL. If people are going to be that ridiculous, I don't need them! I agree with the other poster, who said you dodged a bullet with this guy.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Separated vs Divorced: The truth will set you free!
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:18:14 PM

The legal wife/husband is the next of kin. - verygreeneyez



That's not true.

When you are "legally separated" you no longer have rights to assets or debts not specified in the legal separation agreement. You file taxes as a single person, and your property and assets are no longer at risk. This is "why" people do a legal separation while waiting for a divorce.

This is the thing that most people don't understand. - Janet_Always


The law varies from 1 state/province to the next & they can also change over time. You, Janet_Always according to your profile, are in California. Verygreeneyez is from Idaho & was divorced 12 years ago. Any number of differences in the laws, can be attributed to those 2 facts. In Canada, when you marry, your old will (unless it was clearly written "in contemplation of marriage") is no longer valid. When you separate, the will you made in contemplation of marriage, or directly after your marriage, is no longer valid. One of the reasons most lawyers will tell you to save copies of your last 3 wills, just in case. And to make a new will immeadiately, when your life circumstances chage (ie: separation).
There are a lot of factors to consider, when it comes to whether or not you would date a separated person. When I met my husband, he was separated. He & his first wife had been separated for 3 years, & he'd been in a relationship for 6 months, a while before we met. He hadn't gotten around to filing for a divorce, because #1) he knew that his mentally-ill ex, would create drama. And #2, until we met, he had no motivation to do so. Since my moving to the US would be much easier if we were married, he started the paperwork, which took a little over a month. When I came to visit him in Boise for the first time, I met his family & fell in love with that beautiful city. Unfortunately, a technical/legal SNAFU altered our situation & he ended up moving to Canada. But overall, my experience was a good one.

But I do understand that there are risks, & not everyone is willing to take them.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Ever had a partner with a phobia?
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:33:16 PM
PetyGrace80, congrats on the tatoo! I tried that, but chickened out twice. Just couldn't do it.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/22/2012 10:31:47 PM

The pof choices for the kind of relationship I want are really inadequate and I think some definitions should be spelled out. - Dolphina

I agree with Dolphina. But the problem is semantics. It's like the word "love". Ask 100 different people & you may get 100 very different answers, as to its definition. I think totally aside from the drop-down answers for the profile search requirements, everyone should try & be as clear as they possibly can, in their written profile, as to exactly what they are looking for. Also, attempt to be clear, when communicating here, via email/IM/chat, phone, or whatever. It would save us all a great deal of time, if we at least attempted to understand that we are on the same page in terms of what we are searching for, before meeting. That's my take on it, anyways.
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It means they want to date, but don't want to get into a relationship. Dating involves sex. You figure it out. -abelian

You see, very clear. This is abelians definition. It doesn't agree with mine, which if I were single & l0oking (which I am not), would make me conclude that we would not be a compatible match. Makes for a good "weeding out" tool.
To me, dating is a tool. I am very shy & it is therefore very difficult for me to meet compatible potential mates. Since I am also disabled/retired, that adds another layer of complexity to relationships, as it is something not everyone is capable of, nor interested in dealing with. Plus I don't have the opportunity to meet people socially, through work, or work-related activities. Online dating worked very well for me, in that context. In fact, I met my husband here. From my point of view, dating is a tool for weeding out those with whom I would NOT be compatible, to help me make the right selection of who would be a good match for me. Once we've gotten past the "first date", determined a level of possible compatiblity & attraction, that it generally when I /we decide about both of us entering into a committed relationship. Generally sex follows within a few weeks /or a month or 2. To me "dating" does not involve sex. A relationship does (eventually).
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[uqote]To ME that would mean he wants to casually date. Meaning probably will also be dating other women while dating you. That he is not interested in an exclusive or committed relationship at this time. Notice I left the whole sex part you were making assumptions on out. YOU control if you have sex or not with him while knowing full well he is not interested in a real relationship. So just leave the sex part out and keep your knees locked closely together until you are in a relationship you feel comfortable sharing that in. - *Cowboy*
Excellent advice, as usual *Cowboy*
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Ever had a partner with a phobia?
Posted: 7/22/2012 9:32:20 PM
When I was younger, I was told I had a phobia, because I am terrified of needles. After my son was born, I decided that I should get some therapy for it. I spent a year working with a psychiatrist who does hypnotherapy & specializes in phobias. It was very helpful, as now I can be in the same room with a needle, without running out in a blink panic. I even got some blookwork done in 1990, with a sedative.

I don't have much trouble anymore, because of the development of a wonderful topical anesthetic called EMLA. You put it on covered with a plastic bandage for an hour, & voila! Y ou don't feel a thing! That's when i discovered that it was NEVER psychological in the first place, at least not initially. A lot of people with fibromyaglia are extremely sensitive, to certain types of pain. And many have very sesnsitive skin, as I do. I have experienced many different types of pain in my life, a broken ankle, a broken collarbone, even childbirth. Given a choice, I would probably chose any of these, over needles. Well, maybe childbirth would be a tie, I am not sure. Not an option at my age, anyway. LOL.

Not sure if this counts, but I thought I would throw my 2cents worth in, anyway.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:22:45 PM
I agree with StrawBerryCutie89. Delete him off of Facebook, block him here & on your phone. I always checked my email before leaving the house for a date (back when I was single & dating), because for years I only had a landline, & no cell phone. But he couldn't have known, so he should've called sooner & re-schedule immeadiately. Sounds flaky to me. You can do better.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
dating over 30
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:04:21 PM
I don't think age has anything to do with it. I suspect that your previous experiences, that it was just a coincidence. When I was younger, I would've said you were a bit too tall for my preferences. Would that have made you feel any better?

When I was in school, being a Sagittarius, I was always the youngest, smallest/shortest kid in my class. I also sucked at sports. So, someone a lot bigger was intimidating. Plus my first husband was abusive. So yeah, I was not attracted to taller guys, at all.

In my early 30's I suddenly realized what a b*tch I was being. I had this brilliant epiphany: We all come in different sized packages. It has no real bearing, on the person inside. My husband is 6'4", my last husband was 6'9". I've truly come to understand that it's what's inside that counts most of all.

Good luck to you, in your search.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Review mine! I guarentee its already awesome!
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:51:57 PM
I am glad you are not using this profile to look for someone, I'd hate to think the kind of woman (or girl), it might attract. I would have expected to see a lot more intelligence & maturity even for your age, since when I am single & looking, I generally only search profile that list as looking for :Long Term. And while I have heard that many people enjoy humorous profiles, I hate them. To me, looking for a partner is no less serious than looking for a job. This is your resume, it should tell me clearly why YOU are the one guy, out of all the guys in my area, that I should be contacting first!!

You obviously know exactly what's wrong with this profile, since you weren't really serious when you wrote it.
And btw, for some of us age IS only a number. If you have issues with dating older women, use the mail restriction settings at the bottom of your profile, to keep them from contacting you. Unless you hide your profile, you can't keep them from looking, though. LOL

I met my husband on POF. A lot of women might not have thought he was perfect, but he is definitely perfect for me. And I know 4 or 5 other local couples who met here. This site can work, if you know how to use it properly.

And as a photographer, those pictures are awful. They should be straight on shots, not at a weird goofy-looking angle. Makes you look like a dork.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 89 (view)
 
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:10:54 PM

Any male who has a poor opinion of a woman for sleeping with him on the first date, must also have a poor opinion of himself, since he did the same thing she did. Those males are just idiots that women should avoid like the plague regardless of of anything else. - abelian

Bravo, Abelian! Thank you for that. I agree, that kind of gender-based hypocrisy, just totally pisses me off. To me, the term SLUT does not have a gender-based definition!
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
introvert/extrovert
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:08:34 PM

As a shy introvert myself (at least for most of my life), I found that being around an egotistical extrovert, or anyone who thought that I was defective because I was shy, was like taking poison every day. They didn't bring me out of my shell, they drove me deeper into it, and I was encouraged to thicken the walls. But a person who thought I was just a really cool shy person, and who assisted me in doing things with them anyway, could be wonderful. - IgorFrankensteen

I have to agree with IgorFrankensteen. there is big difference between being encouraged to come out of your shell, & being dragged out, which just makes you want to go back in & stay there, forever!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What I dont like about some extroverts is that they expect me to talk to them and anyone else in the room because thats "normal" to them then they say "wow your quiet"

well sorry but if I am quiet around you its because you have nothing important for me to talk about and your not interesting :/ so instead of me saying I dont give a F**k and F off I just be polite and stay quiet because :) those who know me personally know how awesome I am.

Quiet does not equal shy we are thinkers we think ALOT until something more interesting than our thoughts comes along :) -ChocoMamicita123

Yes, that's it, exactly!!
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 62 (view)
 
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:49:55 PM

I don't know of a single relationship that started with sleeping on the first date that went past the FB or FWB stage. - justlookinvt

Well now you do. I think, maybe. My husband & I chatted for 2 months before we first met in person, because we lived 600 miles apart (& not even in the same country). I stayed for a month & we were already planning to get married, by the time I went home. I almost never rush into things like that, but after 2 months of getting to know each other, when we met in person, we both immeadiately knew, this was the real deal.

So I am not sure if it counts, but I think it does. Maybe.

I really miss the emoticons on here ~sigh!
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:21:19 PM
I agree with TheLongSpring (msg 8). That's what I did at your age, well actually a bit younger, I was already divorced once by your age. LOL. But too much of an age difference can be a problem in terms of life experiences/goals, being on the same page, etc. So I would say, younger than 35. Maturity varies a lot between one person & the next, as well as the usual gender differences.

Ok, I just re-read your profile & your restrictions are pretty good. If 30 is what you're comfortable with, then leave that. Good luck, OP.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
People with Social Anxiety- is online dating good for you?
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:09:26 PM

Dear God, now I'm wondering about what was offensive - AHSfan

I found myself wondering about that, too. Igor tends to be so laid back, he doesn't generally offend easily.

I have never heard of "social anxiety", whatever that is, so I am not sure what it is, or how it relates to shyness in general. I have been what I would describe as "relationship-shy", pretty much my whole life. I did have the usual shy stuff, trouble speaking in front of the class, making friends, etc. But my main problem area is relating to men. I see someone whom I find appealing/attractive (when I was single), my heart rate goes up, I get this knot in my tongue, I blush like I was sunburnt & sometimes I even end up stammering. For me, online dating was a Godsend! It makes life in so many aspects, so much better! I even met my husband here!

My method is somewhat different than Igor's. I go into a situation, knowing that I might fail; but that I will certainly fail, if I do nothing. Is it a gamble? HeLL Yeah!! But the truly important things in life, are worth taking that chance, IMO.
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/11/2012 9:53:55 PM
A girl friend I met here, once told me that she had a very pleasant date with a man (this was years ago) & at the end he kissed her good night & said he would call her tomorrow. He later emailed her & told her that he would not be seeing her again, because she kissed him good night. In his opinion, a woman who kissed on the first date, was VERY LIKELY to cheat. She messaged him back & asked him, if she had been receptive & willing, would he have slept with her, even though he'd already concluded that she "wasn't girl-friend material", by his standards. His answer was "Sure, I've done it many times." She replied to him, "Then, by my standards, you aren't boyfriend material, anyway. So, no loss."

I damn near fell off my chair laughing, when I heard that one! You go, girl!!
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/11/2012 9:42:19 PM
This thread reminds me of the one time I "thought" I'd caught someone's fancy at the grocery store. I stopped to do some grocery shopping, on my way home from a visit to my mother's place. I picked up a few things & was heading towards the checkout when I saw a display of bananas. I stopped, selected 2 & then said to myself "They're better dipped in chocolate, though."

And I heard the most beautiful, sexy "radio announcer" voice, say behind me, "So many things are"
His tone was so suggestive & sexy, I nearly dropped all my groceries. I couldn't help thinking, "Wow, if
he's cute, I am SO gonna ask him out." I turn around & this handsome 40-something guy & his boyfriend, are smiling at me. LOL
 Michaelanns_Married
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
How Long
Posted: 7/9/2012 2:36:17 AM

someone has already told me he loves me within the last few weeks of dating him. and we havent even attempt to sleep with each other yet. I am going crazy. - honeybunny28

My question would be why does the fact that he says he loves you, even though you 2 haven't had sex yet, trouble you? Do you share his feelings, or do you feel it's too soon? Is he the same age as you, btw? Every person is different granted, but my personal experience is that someone younger & less experienced, is more likely to & more open to falling in love, easily. As they have less experience of being hurt, to make them more cautious. It's only a problem, if your perceptions are so different, that it becomes a problem for you. Or if you know already, that you do NOT (& can't) share his feelings.
 
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