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 Author Thread: Does giving a guy/ man your number without him asking for it = interested?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Does giving a guy/ man your number without him asking for it = interested?
Posted: 1/28/2017 10:44:04 AM
Welcome to the dating game and what most men see and feel all the time......

Just because I ask for your number or give you mine, does not mean that I want to get into your pants, make you my significant other, marry you, etc., but rather that we might have some things in common to enjoy with another, instead of alone!!

Take it for what its worth, and thank you for being courageous enough to be out there giving others your number wanting to know them better.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
FAT PIGS
Posted: 1/28/2017 10:38:58 AM
My....the forums have developed an attitude over the years.....lmao

We are all searching for what we need in our lives, and it does not get any easier as we age and get more and more set in our ways. Life is to short to point fingers at other and all their short comings and better spent working on ourselves! Meeting on here is a crap shoot, and needs to be looked at in this fashion.......Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and take what you get.....oh....and give!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Do you hide your political affiliation on dates?
Posted: 5/16/2016 11:23:01 AM
Politics and religion are two things I avoid when in social settings unless the meeting is for that purposely.

I strive to find those that believe in tolerance, and practice it. I am a fiscal conservative, and social liberal....so there is

truly not a political affiliation that is out there that fits all of me.....oh well!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Alternate means of communications off of Pof...google voice, etc. What do you use?
Posted: 2/17/2016 2:13:04 PM
Email on POF first and then give private emails to each other. Next do text messaging on the computer, then cam, and finally each others phone number to exchange.

Since I use my cell for much of my business correspondence, I would get a second cheap disposable phone for such conversations if one is not sure about the other, and/or make sure that talking on the phone is great, but respect for privacy even greater, and no one calls the other without permission........stops the stalkers, and lays the foundation for phone conversations and why one uses the phone.

With all this said, the point is to decide if a meet and greet is in order and to do it in a timely fashion, unless one lives a significant distance from the other. Developing a potential relationship should be done in person and not by mail.......;)

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 77 (view)
 
So confused, why do men do this?
Posted: 2/17/2016 2:03:29 PM
One might wonder what is happening on your second, third and fourth dates that seem to make these so called men want to just leave and not tell you?

Could it be that you say something that triggers this emotion? Could it be that this is when they are trying in their crude way to see if intercourse is in the game plan now, later, or never? Could it be that you stated your desires or lack of desires in certain areas and it was a turn off for them?

For me, I would have the balls to let you know if the chemistry is there enough to continue, and what my expectations were compared to yours, and if we were not truly compatible.......I would tell you then and there.....;)

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Your Greatest Tips for Singles on Halloween?
Posted: 10/31/2015 12:13:30 PM
Halloween can be an awesome time if ones attitude is in the right place. It is a good time to be off centered some, a little nuts, and willing to try something new, or someone new.

Instead of hitting bars by yourself, find a party that you know some people, and throw out the line and see what your reel in......;)

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Unemployment Accepted in Dating World ?
Posted: 10/31/2015 12:06:44 PM
Dating someone unemployed creates many social and romantic fences that will need to be overcome, unless the one employed would rather take care of the other and be the one in charge.

For me, being self sufficient in all ways, is requirement for anything long term. My days of taking care of others is long gone when it comes to financial security.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 151 (view)
 
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 10/31/2015 12:03:13 PM
I find that when you are looking for nothing but an enjoyable time and life, all the other things come when right. When one looks for serious at the start, one eliminates most of those that could be more but will not be, because of attitude, and all those things that make up what could be compared to what is....;)
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Advice Plz...is he really interested in me??, what would u do?
Posted: 5/20/2015 11:38:37 AM
You sit down and talk.......and talk......and talk!

Included in this conversation will be the boundaries and guidelines for being together, which must be agreed upon by the both of you. This is where you bring up exclusivity, and all the other items of self interest, in order to get to where you both are willing to go.

Being tested, being open and honest about your wants, your needs, and your demands, all should happen before you sleep with someone, and then later keep asking the questions, unless you both agree that is how it will be for each of you, separately and together. Really it just comes down to you either do it as a couple, or you do it as an individual......and somehow I bet you know the difference.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Socializing in large groups..............
Posted: 5/1/2015 9:21:32 AM
A kind and courteous "Nice talking with you and enjoy your fishing in this pond", will more than suffice!! Move on and enjoy the crowd.

How would you feel if interested in someone and they not you? Would you not prefer just being let loose in a nice way, or even in some form that let's you know that this person does not relate to you and your potential desires?

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Pretending to be keen to meet
Posted: 1/15/2015 9:16:23 AM
How many times do you go into a store, bar, night club, gym, etc., and see someone that might turn your head or peak your interest and still you do nothing? Many many times the same thing can happen on site while getting to know another.

Timing is everything and if one wants to make it happen, they will. My suggestion is for you to put it in your profile that meeting if interested becomes mandatory, and then list the timelines you desire. When conversing with someone, put that out there in a calm and controlled manner and see if they are on the same page or not.

Good luck.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 494 (view)
 
Men's Frustrations in Online Dating
Posted: 12/24/2014 11:24:27 AM
It is like doing the same thing over and over and over again, and expecting different results!! If you want different results, try different techniques!!

Life is much to short for all this negativity, and should be much more about enjoy the journey, while knowing the destination will come, sooner or later!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Photos that the Ex still has...
Posted: 12/24/2014 11:15:48 AM
It seems to me that if you care and desire someone enough to sleep with them, and share so much together, even pictures, that you would care enough to destroy them if that is wanted?

I have many from previous lovers that either wanted me to take some of them, or they sent me some that they took for me to enjoy while apart. The point is caring enough and respecting each other enough to keep them private always, and eliminate them if asked, which I have always done. Maybe it is because most of those women trusted me enough to know that what we did together, is private and will stay that way, in thought, and in actions.

This is like some "ex" stalking someone, or calling new significant others to share their disrespect for the one they were previously with, and sharing any items, in any way, out of disdain for that individual. I would never consider that, and even if we did not work and had some serious problems with each other........what we shared and how, stays with me and me alone.........including pictures we shared while together.

If you do not want me to enjoy them at a later time, just ask......They will be gone!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
He asked me to leave my stuff at his place
Posted: 12/24/2014 10:51:12 AM
It means that packing that small suitcase for weekend overnight's need not happen and you can leave "some" things there at his place for your convenience! Now do the same thing for him, and you have started that wonderful "your place" or "my place" ritual!!

Make sure to ask him if it is alright for you to leave some of your "toys", oils, creams, and other play things in one dresser drawer by the bed.......I bet he will say yes with a smile on his face, and then you open the conversation about adding to the collection for the both of you!!

Good luck!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Making Conversation
Posted: 12/17/2014 9:03:19 AM
It is not asking questions OP.......it is much more how you phrase them and how you time the information wanted!

If I get a list of questions from someone, it usually sends a message of concern on my part, and I will immediately go into the defensive mode. Now, if questions are asked one or two at a time, and open ended, then I am much more receptive to answering them and doing so in greater detail.

One of my general rules when getting to know someone, and the question and answer period starts.........will be the "tit for tat" rule! If you ask me a question and I respond, there will be a question for you to respond to me. It slowly opens the door for mutually communication, and this will happen much more often when meeting and greeting. One can set the foundation with another on line, but the real understanding of each other will happen much more often on the personal level when sitting together and talking, seeing body language, tone of voice, eyes, and all that good stuff that actually formulates communication.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
please read
Posted: 12/17/2014 8:51:23 AM
Because the both of you are acting like you are still in High School, which by your writing skills, you should be!

This is nothing more than "kids" stuff, and you have fallen into the game of "he said"......"she said"! Time to block his number and move on growing up and getting your life the way you want it. Try dating some men and not school boys and see how that goes, but for god's sake........get tested and only sleep with those you know you want to enjoy one at a time, and over time.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Happily ever after
Posted: 12/14/2014 11:12:02 AM
I am much more into the Grimm Fairy Tales over "happily ever after".....;)

Perfect does not exist, and if one is always on a high with another, one or both of you are on drugs! Having a match that works, will only occur if you are happy with yourself first and foremost, not needing to somehow be completed, and enjoying life individually. The key then will be to "share" the experiences with another, which makes it that much better, but not demand the sharing, or expect it, because it all comes naturally.

Are we tainted with relationship experiences, both good and bad? Of course, but the real issue becomes, "have I learned from my experiences and mistakes", and not subject myself or others to repeating them! Unless you want more children, or to start a family, marriage is not needed, and what is, will be connecting with another, or others, in such a way, that both know that they are offering what they seek, and seeking what they offer!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why would a Man act that way?
Posted: 12/14/2014 9:50:44 AM
Ok.....Reality check here!! The guy was not very kind, and not a man in my opinion since he chose the easy way out and left without telling you why!

Now.......Why did this happen? Let me guess, and it is only a guess. Your profile has two pictures on it.....you from the neck up and your son. You state on your profile that you are a "few pounds over" for your weight, and yet you do not show it in any form. If you two emailed, text, and hopefully talked on the phone, somehow more pictures should have been exchanged or the cam hooked up to set the stage for meeting in person.

My guess was that you two did not take the needed precautions to set the best foundation for a meet and greet, and you two just set that date to meet and when he saw you, you were not as he pictured and/or hoped. His thought process was to run and so he did, which was his bad, because he had a perfect opportunity to talk to you and explain what his thoughts were on a profile concerning certain expectations.

Do not beat yourself up about this, and know that this guy was not a man, nor someone you truly want to know better, and you should go back and make your profile be a true indication of who you are, what you look like, and what you are hoping for in meeting.

Good luck.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Dating vs Long Term on profile
Posted: 12/10/2014 9:43:08 AM
Is it not implying being the "one" versus being "one" of the "many"?

Having fun is one thing that can be accomplished with many, but sleeping with changes the dynamics, in my opinion, and for me, along with my health, I prefer to know that if we are enjoying sex together, that the rules are there for the both of us to follow. When much younger, dating could mean long term with some, and short term with others, but as I have matured and gained all that experience, along with all that is out there when sharing bodily fluids, I prefer to take mine to bed.......one at a time!!

If we are just enjoying each other socially, that can be accomplished with more than one, and the term dating applies quite nicely, but if one wants to take it to the bedroom, then dating is much different from "exclusive", and most will transfer that to long term, even if that is not accomplished.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 48 (view)
 
perimenopause and sex
Posted: 11/4/2014 12:36:13 PM
Ah....The trials and tribulations of getting older and moving from one part of reproduction to another.......;)

There are always reasons for what is happening to you OP, and my guess is that your doctor has not spent enough time with you, nor given you enough tests to actually hear what you are saying, and then finding the best solutions for your specific situation. On the other hand, sex is an enjoyable act that has many many ways to be accomplished to the satisfaction of both parties. I would suggest that you sit down with your partner and talk about acceptable ways to enjoy each other when you are going through your particular situation, and find all the ways the both of you can laugh, enjoy, and feel a part of the other!

If one can take off their clothes with another, sleep with them and wake to them in the morning, there should never be a reason that they could not share what is happening to them in and out of the bedroom!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Vegans/Vegetarians
Posted: 11/4/2014 12:28:14 PM
My experiences knowing, working and dating vegans/vegetarians is one of one having to change for the other, or it just complicates the relationship......working or personal. It is all a matter of personal taste, but for me, I find those that have given up meats, fish, foul, etc., find it physically and emotionally tougher to enjoy another or others that feast on the other side!

I have not consumed ground beef in over 27 years and I know how it can affect others when I am out and about and all want a thick hamburger, or a meat loaf, and many of those meals that include ground beef, and I am the one and only that says "no thank you". Most places now offer chicken as a substitute for burgers and the like, but when at someone's home for dinner and ground beef is the main meal........I become a vegetarian.....god forbid!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
older women younger men
Posted: 11/4/2014 10:06:00 AM
I did it while in college and enjoyed the experience of having women teach me what they knew, and learning from the experience. My Mother had quite a few friends that were 10 to 20 years older than I was and they seem to enjoy the chase and hunt for some young man that could keep up with them, and all the stories they told about former and current husbands that just did not meet their needs anymore.

Once out of college and maturing, life had a way of balancing all of that out and there seemed to be a blurring of lines considering age, and it just did not matter any more if we connected on multiple levels. It is not the age that gets my interest but rather looks, personality, and style, and that can be at any age for both genders. If I am happy to be with someone, and they me, what matters most becomes how we handle it and enjoy the adventure.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Lying about being off from work
Posted: 10/28/2014 12:44:50 PM
Did he have a hunting trip planned with his male friends or family that you may not have enjoyed or not wanted him to continue? Maybe he had a cruise or diving vacation planned from long ago and did not want to hurt your feelings by not including you in the adventure, or maybe he had it planned with someone else from long ago?

Taking a week off from each other is nothing huge when only dating three months. Does this man know that you want it to be more and that you call him your boyfriend? Does he call you his girlfriend to not only you, but his family and friends? Does he know that maybe you can not afford what he was doing during this week, but may still want to go and that puts him in the position of either paying for you, or denying you the opportunity?

Maybe.....maybe.....maybe......can go on and on. Why not ask him or did you snoop and now you are caught between a rock and a hard spot? How did you find out, and why would he feel the need to NOT discuss this with you. Me thinks that there are many many holes in this entire story and the puzzle has yet to even have its border done!!

Time to have a I want you discussion with this person and see if he feels the same way and says I want you tooooo!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Men... what should we be looking for in men?
Posted: 10/28/2014 9:33:42 AM
Boys have sex with girls that they do not even like, but men want a partner to enjoy, even if just short time, and trust me, it takes more than a willing vagina to entice me!!

There are as many personalities as there are individuals out there single and looking or with someone but not happy, or still trying to find that one that will convince them that they are now happy and complete. There are no real answers, but many more questions to evaluate and decide upon individually.

I have always stated that it is fairly easy to get laid, but oh so much harder to get laid by the "right" one, and women know this much better than men......always have and always will!! If we walked into a bar and both shouted that we are horny and want to fix that, my guess is that my female partner would walk out much faster and with many more "boys" than I would "girls"!! Once one gets passed the getting laid part easily, so that it is not the main ingredient in that mix, we become much more equals in our quest for what we truly want in our relationships.

Men may still want sex often, and women may want a considerate man to be there with and for them, but overall if we both enjoy each other sexually and know that it is available whenever, our thought processes turn to other things that make up the total of what we are looking for.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Men: what flirting by women do you love?
Posted: 10/28/2014 9:15:37 AM
It is all in the presentation, and how that fits with your looks, your mind, education, and ability to say what you mean, and mean what you say.......when you care to include another or others in what makes you....you!!

I have never enjoyed the so called chase, and much prefer running head on into each other and enjoying the results. Eye contact is key, along with subtle touching and facing towards that one you want to flirt with and hopefully more. Touching your hair, tilting you head, smiling and returning eye contact are all part of the flirting process!

If I have to do all the work, or work so hard that I am more than confused, I will give up and move on.......Life is to short!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 42 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 10/19/2014 1:47:49 PM
There are as many definitions to the meaning of "FWB" as there are to that four letter word "love", and until the two of you sit down and set the parameters for "your" meaning of this, it is nothing more than interpretation on each persons part.

For those of us that have done this, it usually ends up with someone that we enjoy but never had the opportunity or desire to take it to a romantic level and create a partnership that is called a relationship, but rather a relationship that is with a friend we enjoy. Usually it means that we see each other as friends would and enjoy sex within that mix, just as long as neither of us has a relationship with someone else, and willing to share with the other when you no longer can be exclusive because you are sleeping with another or others.

If this man wants you as his "FWB" and you agree, his definition may be that as friends, we have sex when we are together and both want it, and not push to just meet for dates and then sex, but to meet as friends and then let the sex happen as meant to be. This could be once a week if you two met as friends that often before and want to continue that now, or once a month, etc., it all is in how you got together as friends along with those invitations that friends make with each other.

The other way I have seen it done, is a specific date to meet and enjoy some wine, maybe dinner, or a movie and then go home and have sex. This agreement is for the purpose of sex with friendship as a secondary part of it, and the other is friendship with sex being the secondary part. However one views it, it will not work if not talked about and agreed upon mutually before one even considers that type of relationship.

Once one starts this type of friendship, the two of you need to trust each other enough to know, and share, when one is deciding to bed another and stop the potential for sharing things one, or both may not want in their lives......on many levels.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Failure to commit?
Posted: 10/19/2014 1:26:13 PM
Partner???? I would step back if someone called me their partner without us talking about it and my agreement that our relationship was there!

She was engaged for three years to someone and then you were the next person in her life and bingo, you want to put her right where she was before......why? Rebounds are scary at best and a disaster at worst, so most times it is better to slow down and let that person come to you when they are ready, willing, and able.

Meeting family is an individual thing, and I have dated women that wanted me to meet their kids and family after just a date or two, and others, like myself, that would prefer not to involve family in our lives until the both of us agree that it is time, and we are both ready. Let's face it OP.......you scared the sh*t out of her with your "partner" comment and asking her to meet your family.

Next time, call her your lady friend, date, friend, or some other non-committal word and/or phrase, and let the conversation of meeting family arise slowly and together. Good luck with your next adventure!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Why no response after 4-5 emails?
Posted: 10/15/2014 9:02:14 AM
By the time you get to five emails, you should be sending pictures back and forth, starting that cam up, and setting a date and time to do the meet and greet thing. Far to many decide to just do the computer thing and never move from cyber space to real........and if you get caught up with that and others who seem to gravitate towards that way......you will get no more unless it is on line and only on line.

I applaud you for taking the initiative with contacting and showing interest, but please understand, it takes many many tries to get a positive reply for most people, and timing is everything!! Put up some pictures, refine your profile, and once you send or get emails, work hard to move it from there to meeting and finding out about that chemistry and mutual attraction in real life.

Good luck.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Location a negative ??
Posted: 10/8/2014 12:27:49 PM
I have always stated that distance can be a problem if more one sided, and if you are on that side and doing most of the traveling to make dating works.......it will test most parts of you.

If your plan is to see someone daily or a few times a week, distance will enter into the equation even if you take turns heading to the others' house. If you can date but only when convenient, and/or available, then distance can be overcome easily at first, and will only become problematic when want or both want more and the distance makes that impossible.

I have done it both ways and made it work, but prefer to have someone nearer over being far away, but for the right person, I am more than willing to try equally to make it a good thing. Having someone that you enjoy in and out of bed, and they you........becomes what we are really looking for, and why not have that, if you can, whether they are two miles from you, or 2,000???

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 9:48:58 AM
It seems to me that once you meet in person, all the rest is "real life" compared to "on line" with just the imagination as your foundation.

Now, saying that, you may have more information "on line" to evaluate, but you also do not know up front, what it real and what is not. When you meet in "real life" you see what you are getting physically, but you still do not know all the "facts" about who or what they are, and that is pretty much the same as "on line"!!

For me, meeting in person and then peeling the layers off as we get to know each other, far outweighs having information in front of me, but not the actual person to show me all those things one gets from seeing, feeling, touching, and evaluating while in the meet and greet stage. One can fib about much in their life, and it does not matter if we are reading it in a profile, or hearing it in person while being set up on a blind date.

The end result always comes from taking what is there and finding out what is real or not, and seeing if what is there has mutual attraction, and chemistry enough to foster finding out if we are truly compatible or not.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Things going too fastÉ you decide
Posted: 9/30/2014 9:29:58 AM
Let us know how it goes after the fourth date and he spends the night....;)

Why not just enjoy the ride and if more happens....fine.....and if not......you filled your life with another experience that you can ponder later on, and hopefully made a friend.

Good luck.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Getting Nowhere ...
Posted: 9/22/2014 8:06:09 AM
Stop writing and trying so hard and have a game plan of relaxing, using other methods to meet women, and wait for them to contact you. Being so aggressive just puts you with all the other males that are impatient, aggressive, and wanting results immediately.

Your POF experience should be just one part of a comprehensive plan for meeting and greeting, enjoying others, and letting life happen as meant to be......not trying so hard to make it all happen now! I'll phrase it like this.......If you want to buy a pair of Levi's, go to a Levi store and shop and not head into a jean shop full of choices, and if you do, be prepared to try on many in order to find the right fit! Life and dating is not a brand name, but much more of a search for that fit that makes you feel good, comfortable, and easy to maintain.......try it!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Middle Age and The Common Cold/Flu
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:43:21 AM
Ah Moonie.....someone dragged this up me thinks.....;)

It seems that many, if not most of what is out there, has mutated or created so many ways to buffer itself, that when one gets something now, it affects us even more. Add to that, all the "meds" that exist to remedy so many problems, that we get impatient when something hits us and takes us down.

Recently I ventured to the east coast for work and pleasure from my area of Colorado, and in the plane were three sets of children, some who were sick, and low and behold, less than a week later, I came down with a respiratory infection that about knocked me out. Found out that the Denver area had one of the worst areas for this kind of sickness and it was significantly affecting kids, especially those with asthma, to the point of many needing to go to the hospital.

One can do all they can to keep clean and healthy, but if captured in places where ventilation is subject at best, or in contact with those sick and no where to remove yourself, you are bound to pick up something that your body has never created proper protection or has not seen such a mutated form of sickness. I know that when that happens to me, as a middle aged male, it can seem like it is hitting my harder, and taking longer to get over, but I am not sure how real that is over just not getting sick that often?

Stay healthy my friend.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What does love feel like to you now?
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:19:57 AM
I use to think that love meant and was forever, but as I have matured and experienced life over and over dealing with so called love......I know that it is much more situational!!

Two need to meet and feel the same way, want the same things, and share love, life, and living together, and I do not know about others, but for me......to have it all together at once, is just not a reasonable expectation, and I enjoy the journey over the destination, much more. I do not believe that there is just one so called soul mate for each of us, and meeting someone that you can enjoy, share, and love......can and does happen often......if you are in the right place to let that happen.

Now, having it be forever, is a totally different topic.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Should I ask him out again?
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:08:12 AM
So you now know that he thinks you just might be a valuable employee which speaks volumes for you but tells you also that it is time to move on and not get your honey where you are getting your money!!

If you text this man for a date or get together and he never responded to it, leave it alone and trust me, if he is interested, he would or will let you know about that great offer you made him. Move on!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why did he stopped texting me??
Posted: 9/15/2014 12:39:45 PM
Texting can be so impersonal and some of us do not mind texting, just not all the time in place of actually talking to someone and meeting in person.

My suggestion to you is to leave a voice mail letting him know that you would enjoy some time with him, and for him to let you know if he would like the same and if so, to contact you. The ball is in his court, and you can go on your merry way doing what you want to do, while he decides if you are worth his effort and attention or not. Why guess when you can find out in no time?

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Not walking your date to her door
Posted: 9/12/2014 2:24:13 PM
First dates and/or meet and greets should be in public, and each person arrives on their own and leaves the same way. You can do the drink or coffee thing, meet to shop, walk downtown, museum, on and on, but having someone walk you to your door when you do not know them well, just has far to much potential for bad things.

Save the romance stuff for later on when you two know each other much better, but know this tooooooo......when many males walk a female to her door.....they are also hoping to be invited in!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What in the world is going on here?
Posted: 8/28/2014 9:35:29 AM
Come on OP.......He wants to play and now that he has worked you into shape, he is hoping that you want to play too!! This is your call, and your "game", if you want to play his, and just know from the start, that it is for the moment and nothing more.

For any mature man to use the term....."I got game", is like using the over used term....."Give it up"!!.....which is what I think the translation is for you!! Your move!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
The EX Factor
Posted: 8/27/2014 12:17:21 PM
Friend zone for now, while you let this man get over his "ex". This is similar to dating those that are just separated and not yet divorced..........friend zone until they are completely free and not experimenting with rebounds!!

Now, if you are happy to just enjoy him, with no expectations of more, then do so with his understanding and having that conversation concerning where you are, why, and how your relationship will or will not be. I see no reason to throw people away just because they are still getting over a past relationship or marriage, but I know the difference between a rebound and a close friendship that may become more at a later date!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Girl is adverse to the label
Posted: 8/27/2014 10:52:18 AM
Sorry to say OP, but you sound like you are in college and a newbie in the dating world, and not an established bachelor that enjoys women for all they have to offer.

Nine women at once???? Sounds so self serving to me, no offense, but if I had nine women in a year, I would think it time to evaluate who and what I was doing with my life and my women!! You made this new woman a one night stand with how you are treating her and bedding her right off of meeting her and knowing that you both had others in your life. Did you ever talk about testing and what sex really means to each of you, along with being exclusive if enjoying that sex? Did you ever take the time to evaluate who this person is, and how that relates to you and your past history?

Time to take a step back and eliminate all in your life, while you date this woman and slowly get to where you want to be, and hopefully she wants to be, or you will end up with yet another woman that you will bed, live with, and then break up to move on to the next one(s), because you have not really come to grips with who and what you are, and what you truly think about women.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
dating or interviewing a axe murderer
Posted: 8/26/2014 9:59:26 AM
I never use an "axe" until the second date, and prefer a knife on the first, or gun on the third!!!!!!....;)

Some times formal works best for certain people, and some times spur of the moment works best for others.......It is up to you to decide which works best for you, and how you approach those to reel them in and enjoy the experience one way or the other. Now, there are those like me who like to use both methods and I search for those who can be as flexible as possible......in many ways.....lol

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Am I being friend zoned?
Posted: 8/26/2014 9:53:31 AM
Sounds like he is hit and miss along with testing the water to see if you can adjust to spur of the minute meetings. Many do this, and some enjoy "last minute" and some do not. Try it one time on your plan and see what happens......if he does nothing, or you do not invite him to do something........then you have your answer!

I have had those that have called me on a Friday or Saturday evening and said that they were in the area and would I like to meet for a drink. If I were doing nothing but watching TV or listening to music, I would say yes, but if just finishing working out, or cleaning the house, or not cleaned up from the day, I would say no and tell them why.......which leaves it open ended for them to come to my place or to try a different time. What happens next is their decision, unless I said, "can't", which was mine!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Who should send the first note after a first meeting?
Posted: 8/25/2014 11:28:26 AM
Just one more reason for not going out to dinner on the first meet and greet, unless you each pay for your own. I am one to keep that meet and greet short and to the point while we both find out if there is mutual attraction, and chemistry.

Thanking each other for taking the time to meet, should be done at the end of that first meet and greet, with a follow up email, text message, or phone call the next day to say thank you again, and to test the water for maybe meeting again and starting that dating process.

The rest just happens as meant to be.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 58 (view)
 
FWB yet again
Posted: 8/25/2014 10:47:45 AM
If it is mutual, enjoy it, and if not, step back until you get a chance to set the rules with you too. No one controls your body and mind but you, so you decide if what he offers is what you enjoy and want, and if not.....tell him what it is that you want!

Once this is done, you will know if he is interested in what your needs are, or just his own, and then you can decide how that will look and be. Personally, the fact that you two are exclusive speaks volumes about his concern for you and his own health, and if the sex is good, but the heart does not follow, each of you will need to decide if what you have is worth keeping for now, or not.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Touching
Posted: 8/25/2014 10:38:29 AM
Sounds like playful foreplay to me, and as long as you both stayed in charge of yourself, I see nothing wrong with it. When the time comes that you both want more, that is when the calm discussion about getting tested and understanding each others' view point on birth control, pregnancy, and eliminating other partners.

Have fun, and I wonder if maybe you went below the belt or not since he enjoyed your breasts.....;)

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Plenty of matches in your area?
Posted: 8/20/2014 9:20:38 AM
It is usually "hit and miss" which matches most dating activities on and off line. One can plan all they want, but if the planning does not get results, you are still there wondering what to try and do next.

There are so many out there that could be a good match, but one must be in the right place, at the right time, with the right mind set, to make it happen. And then you must hope that the one you are connecting with, feels the same.....go figure!

The point is to not try so hard with making things happen that you can not control, and work more on those things you can......like yourself!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
dating or interviewing a axe murderer
Posted: 8/11/2014 10:51:19 AM
Why limit it to one hour and not 10 minutes? Usually that is the time frame for deciding if their is mutual attraction or not. If there is, and the chemistry is starting to flow, time limits are gone while the two of you get to know each other better and better.

It really all comes down to what you are truly looking for, and if one wants a partner to enjoy on adventures, dinners, social settings, etc., along with great sex, then you handle those you meet one way, and if one is just looking to enjoy another, with no expectations, then one must handle them a different way. Some of those that I have met, are good friends of mine now, and we can do many things together and not create that expectation that we must have it all.....NOW!!

Just as I have many that I know from social settings, work, riding, biking, hiking, etc., so is it from here or just meeting and greeting others to get to know them better. If the attraction is mutual, the chemistry flowing, and compatibility developing.......the rest just happens as meant to be.......on many levels.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Advice needed in dating a traditional girl.
Posted: 8/2/2014 9:06:25 AM
It becomes what will work for you during this entire process. If you have the personality and style to walk down her path, her way, then all is good, and if not.......all I see is frustration on both of your parts!

Time to sit down and talk about life, living, the birds and bees, and where each of you want to be now, and in the future. My experience has been that when a woman likes and wants a man, timelines are not the issue anymore, and how to not take it much faster becomes even more apparent.

The real key here is equality, and if she is an equal to you, and you her, all seems to fall into place equally.....in and out of bed!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Second Chances
Posted: 7/30/2014 9:06:14 AM
Why waste his time and yours? You already made up your mind, do not consider him a "hottie" or really worth your effort, and just want to fill in your date card!

Move on!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
what the heck?
Posted: 7/25/2014 1:07:34 PM
Ah.....a horny moment in this mans life, and he was hoping that you felt the same about him, the moment in time, and if right.....the result!

Why fret over someone and something that you do not really know, and more than likely, never will? It is all in the kiss, and when right.....it will make or break the rest! Timing is everything, and his sucked, or maybe he was hoping that you would....but that is another topic totally.

This is why I let the woman dictate the course of the relationship and how fast or slow we go, and if I am happy with it or just along for the ride. I have always said, and will continue........"I never go where not invited".......:)

cd
 
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