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 Author Thread: How much dishonesty in a profile will you tolerate?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How much dishonesty in a profile will you tolerate?
Posted: 7/2/2015 8:59:49 AM
I haven't lied in my profile and don't want to be with someone who does....

Even though my pics are from a few years ago, firstly, I wasn't looking, so didn't care, and when I have met people, they tell me that I look like my pics, so, guess I haven't changed much any way....

While some people may find things like shaving a few years off their age to be of no consequence, for me, why bother? They WILL find out sooner or later...so what's the point, really?
All it does is breed mistrust, and as VK said, NOT a good way to start off a relationship....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 216 (view)
 
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 7/2/2015 8:43:39 AM
Nope, not a man who was better in bed or with a bigger d!ck....just someone who 'fit' me, personally, better...

I also should mention that I haven't experienced that since then either....

I think where the misunderstanding is coming in here is that you DO believe somewhere that a woman IS 'broken' if she can't orgasm from penetration alone? Or maybe you feel like that's the 'message' that women, in general are getting?

Because for me, it's really nothing to do with that....

There IS no 'plight' imo...just different women with different bodies and NO one way or another should be considered the 'right' way....

Again, when you're with a partner who is interested in pleasing you, there is no room for trying to 'blame' the woman for NOT being able to orgasm that way alone...the goal should be that they want to ensure that you are ALSO enjoying the sexual experience as much as THEY are.....and having the willingness to ensure that they do whatever will bring that about....

Anyone in this day and age who tries to imply that there's something wrong with a woman who can't orgasm from penetration alone is just plain ignorant of women's bodies, or doesn't give a flying fvck about their partner, imo....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 99 (view)
 
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 7/2/2015 8:31:41 AM
@ Hearton...I was referring to the statement that I quoted and NOT speaking about the effects of the long-term use of the drug...

Also, if you go back and actually read what I wrote in the PTSD forum referring to CV in the first place, I think that I explained exactly what you are referring to in detail....

You are not the only person with personal experience with drug use or abuse although, not all of us are interested in sharing that on a public forum....

I also worked with drug addicts for a very long time, and while that doesn't necessarily make me an 'expert' it DOES however afford me a pretty comprehensive view on the effects and consequences of long term use....not to mention that I do have a background and education in addictions.

Time for a deep breath, there, I'm not arguing with you here, just stating what I KNOW to be true, as I assume, are you....

I also agree that while the sleep apnea may have contributed to the problem, it was most CERTAINLY the drug use that was mainly responsible....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Should you move..... A fairy tale....
Posted: 7/2/2015 8:20:44 AM
DO IT!!!!

Having just shaken up myself and my Life by moving to the other side of my country and finding new digs, a new job, etc., well, so far...BEST thing I've ever done!!!

Sometimes we need a change of pace, scenery and just a new perspective....

You are financially stable, and it sounds like the debts are weighing on you, so if you have no serious attachment to the house, why not???

As far as meeting someone goes, well, I won't say that will happen for sure, but I actually DID meet someone, who lives even FURTHER away from me than before!!! lol

it really had nothing to do with the move per se, more the fact that once I started opening myself up to new experiences and a new way of Life, I was also more open to new people and risks....

Don't know if ANY of it will 'work out' in the long run, but I DO know that I'm happier today than I've been in a LONG time, just being in a beautiful place that fills my soul....

It's NOT always, about 'running away' or anything like that...sometimes it's just about starting over with a fresh perspective...Good luck, whatever you decide! ;-)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 214 (view)
 
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 7/2/2015 7:44:03 AM
Well...not dissing your personal experience or perspective....

I have met MANY women who have been with men that DON'T like to go down on women, although never had that problem myself, and also I DO know from personal experience, as I mentioned that it took my whole Life, as well, as the 'right' kind of penis, for me to experience a vaginal orgasm from only penetration, and frankly, I probably never would have, if I hadn't met that particular man...

As far as stats as to how many women can orgasm that way...Ummm, again, never disputed that....

If you are with someone who actually CARES about you and your pleasure as much as his own, I have to assume that not only has he encountered this before, but will not try and shame you because you need more than penis-in-the-vagina stimulation to have an orgasm....

Although we have examples, right in this thread alone, where women are saying that their partners KNOW what pleases, them and STILL won't do it.....

As for the other posters comment, again, just a different pov, I just assumed that by 'they knew what they were doing', that he was referring to the fact that they knew their own bodies well enough to KNOW that not only COULD they orgasm that way, but HOW to go about it....

That DOESN'T mean that other women just don't know their bodies, nor that they 'don't know what they're doing'.....
Just that in MY personal experience I thought I was in the 80%, not that it bothered me in any way, and discovered that it WAS possible, after all....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 149 (view)
 
Messaging Experience on PoF
Posted: 7/2/2015 7:29:24 AM
SJ and Newold...said it all, and got it RIGHT on the money, imo....

I always try to consider the feelings of someone who I'm talking to when I'm being 'blunt'....I'm NOT out to hurt anyone or to destroy their self-esteem to make MYSELF feel better in any way...

I don't 'play cutesy games' and my 'mission' in Life ISN'T to protect the fragile egos of grown men either....

If I'm having a relationship with another adult, then yes, I EXPECT them to act their age....

Communication is VITAL when it comes to sex or anything else to do with a relationship, and unclear communication or guessing games, are frustrating for all concerned....ime.

Personally I always try to keep in mind, especially when in the getting to know you stage, that almost EVERY term used has to be defined in order to ensure that you REALLY are on the same page....

Even saying something as simple as 'the shirt was blue', can cause confusion, if you both don't automatically KNOW what kind of blue it was....Sky blue? Royal blue? etc.

Never mind when you start getting into more complex matters like sex.... ;-)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 97 (view)
 
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 7/2/2015 6:53:21 AM
@ IG...The reason that we use 'the' in front if certain things has to do with referring to a GROUP of things as a singular article...and yes, it can be confusing even for people whose native language is English...

So, example...
The United States, The Arab Emirates, The Dominican Republic, etc. All of these are MORE than one thing, but to refer to them as a 'group' as a singular article you use 'the' in front...I'm thinking that's the grammatical reason that it's called 'the' Ukraine...especially if there are two parts/provinces/states /regions ,etc. although I'll defer to Joe's political explanation as I'm not familiar with that part of the world....but why people elsewhere may refer to it that way in English....



it is possible that animals have feelings, or maybe that they have more threats against them than a civilian human being does, and so they do what they do for survival. Humans in war, for example, fight not for ideology but for the buddy next to them, even throwing themselves upon a grenade or returning to duty so as not to let the ones relying on them down by not being there to help.


Interesting there G....The studies are pretty interesting, too...As far as doing it for survival, well, that works if the animals are interested in breeding with the other animal in question, but otherwise, not so much...As keeping all of the food or hoarding it for later, would be better options...from a survival POV, no?

All I know, is that I, personally don't buy into the theory that altruistic behaviour is ultimately about 'feeling good' ourselves...although I don't deny that for some volunteering at an animal shelter, or doing a day in a soup kitchen may 'feel good', but when it comes to people who are 'in the trenches', as in risking their health, lives and generally placing themselves in danger without compensation, in order to help others, often, ime, the 'reward' is living in line with their own values and acting with integrity...

Know many people who did UN Missions to various places around the world, Bosnia, Haiti, East Timor, etc. and many of them lived in deplorable conditions and saw things that are comparable to being in the middle of a war zone, because they WERE, after the fact, and, although they WERE well compensated for it, those who went in for the money and the 'do-gooders' , usually left pretty quickly....

Those who had a religious belief, or personal conviction in being responsible for trying to do what they could to help their fellow human beings, were usually the ones who stuck it out through some really harsh and scary experiences...'feeling good' was usually drowned out by the screams of those trapped in the structure of a collapsed bridge, and the horrors that they witnessed on a daily basis....

Any way,,,check out some of the studies done with animals, they are very interesting....


but I wasn't emotionless. I was happier, which is an emotion.

That is why people DO speed...it's called 'euphoria' and is a by-product of the drug, as is greater focus and concentration , when taken in small doses, as many meds for 'hyperactivity' are derived from certain kinds of 'speed'....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 212 (view)
 
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/30/2015 9:41:56 PM
I think that poster meant that it isn't USUAL, for women to come from penetration alone Hearton....all due respect...

That's why he was saying that he goes down on them...also , there ARE some women who DO know how and are capable of getting off from penetration alone, maybe because they know their bodies better than other women, or maybe they are with a man whose penis reaches all of the right places, etc.

At least that's what I understood from his post....

As far as orgasming from penetration alone, well, it never happened for me, except with ONE man, who just happened to 'fit' me properly, and I realized that WAS the problem over the years....

It also helped me to understand that my body had changed and that now I am more able to cum from penetration alone than I was before...although clitoral stimulation is ALWAYS the easier route....

I still think the majority of women don't though, but that could also be from a lack of experimentation ie. different positions etc., or that it's simply not their 'button'....Some women I know have never felt any real stimulation from the G-spot at all, but have no problems having an orgasm from clitoral stimulation....

There's nothing abnormal or wrong with that, and nothing to say that women who are unable to orgasm from penetration are 'deficient' in ANY way....

That kind of thinking goes back to the days of Freud when a vaginal orgasm was considered to be the more 'mature' way of achieving orgasm...which we NOW know is absolute horse sh!t....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 90 (view)
 
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/30/2015 9:13:19 PM
While there are many schools of thought that state that altruism is only a fallacy due to the 'good feelings' that people get from doing good things for others...

That doesn't explain the fact that there are many recent studies done with animals as well who ALSO demonstrate altruism....

Hungry rats, who, when given the option of eating all of the food will, instead voluntarily choose to share with a neighbour in the next cage and will even let them in to have access to the food...

This behaviour has also been observed in wild animals, as well as domestic ones....

There is actually also a school of thought that states that this is a hard-wired behaviour in MANY social animals, although the reasons are not exactly clear as to why ....survival perhaps? Or maybe, animals really DO have feelings as many of us have known for a long time....

Seems to be a 'stumbling block' when it comes to attributing any kind of 'feeling' to animals in general, in the scientific community...so until observable behaviour can clearly indicate why, it remains a mystery....officially any way...

For myself I prefer to take the less cynical stand and say that there are fine qualities in all of us, and I know that I, personally, and MANY people that I know have suffered some pretty grave consequences from 'helping others'...so it isn't always about 'warm fuzzies' and 'feeling good'....

Sometimes it's simply about having compassion and empathy for fellow creatures...
Behaviour, again, that is not always 'rewarded'....

And off topic...Good to see you CV, noticed you're looking healthier and more peaceful....I'm happy for you and hope you continue the ongoing work to stay that way....It's tough, but worth it....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is this a normal thing to do ?
Posted: 6/30/2015 8:07:16 PM
@CC...well you'd like to think so, but I have personally seen too much evidence to the contrary...

@OP
No, not everyone is built to be a caregiver and yes, if you know yourself and your limitations and they don't include caring for a sick partner, then it's a good idea to leave rather than risk staying and end up hating them...I can't imagine anything worse than being ill, unable to care for yourself, and knowing that your partner is resentful about caring for you....

Having done this before, and, having done it for a living, I can honestly say that there are some people that are MUCH better off NOT caring for someone....

Having also been on the 'sick and needing care end' I CAN say that it sometimes takes something like that for people to realize that a situation they were in that they chose to tolerate, is now just asking TOO much of them and they are not willing to continue...for BOTH parties, not just the caregiver....

I still think it's a shitty thing to do, but oh well...Some people really don't take those vows too seriously well BEFORE anyone becomes ill, so not really a surprise when that pressure breaks them, is it?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/28/2015 8:47:35 PM
^^^^^^^^^^

LOL


That's what I said!!! LMAO
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/28/2015 10:02:22 AM
Being disingenuous in order to attempt to illustrate your point is a feeble 'argument'....

I'm guessing that you have no other, seeing as everything you say is becoming a repetitive drone at this point....

Ho, hum....lol
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 135 (view)
 
honesty regarding sexual capability
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:57:49 AM
By the time I've reached the place where we are considering having sex with each other, then we BETTER be able to discuss any issues that may, or in this case, may NOT, arise...

If you can't TALK about sex, then you have no business DOING it, imo...

Ed can be cause by a variety of things, as can dryness in women, and it is part and parcel of getting older for MANY people regardless of lifestyle or 'healthy choices'....

There are solutions and for myself, it's really just a question of being open to discussion and straightforward about your issue, when the subject comes up, naturally...whether that's before, during or after, is up to you.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Marathon make-out sessions ...
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:48:22 AM
Oh wow...SJ....just ...ICK!!! lol

If men are seriously doing that, well....just ick.....

Too bad there are probably some women out there who are lonely or desperate enough to fall for it....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:44:56 AM
Are you drunk? Stoned? Off your meds? Because you are not making any sense whatsoever at this point....

LMAO

Go away, already...now you've revealed yourself for the really small person that you are, you're just...boring.....

Not that you've ever been terribly interesting to begin with,...

Thought you were starting your own dating site?

I'm guessing that was a big failure, huh? Seeing as you're back here, trolling?

Yup...whatever....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:35:59 AM
Nope...just another troll looking to 'prove' his own perceived 'intellectual and moral superiority'....

Just another day on the forums...lol
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/27/2015 4:56:04 PM
And here I thought that judgmentalism, intolerance, as well as making assumptions and jumping to conclusions were BAD things.....

Apparently that is what's considered 'quality', these days...go figure....

Not such a mystery why so many people are apparently so unhappy, in that case....

Wow...just, wow....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/27/2015 1:01:43 PM

It's wrong, but I understand it...



They are wrong, but they can feel otherwise.


Well those both sound quite clearly like judgmental statements and there IS a big difference between 'using your judgement' and BEING judgmental....

A quality that I personally find undesirable myself...in either friends or romantic partners....

Also, because someone disagrees with you does not mean that they are suffering any 'insecurity', I just happen to disagree with your outlook as well as your 'assessment' of what is 'right and wrong'.....

At any rate...seems like just another thread about trying to validate feelings about being judgmental and trying to call it something more socially acceptable....like "looking for quality people"....to me...

Then again, apparently I'm just , plain WRONG, so...nevermind!!! LOL
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Marathon make-out sessions ...
Posted: 6/27/2015 11:56:07 AM
With the right person, yes, long make out sessions, can be a BLAST!!! In fact there's someone right now, that I'm REALLY looking forward to locking lips with for a significant amount of time...;-)

however, getting emails asking if you're 'into' that when you don't know the guy?

Well, all I can say is Suivant...NEXT!!! LOL
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Having Sex with Ugly Girls for Practice and Technique
Posted: 6/27/2015 11:47:15 AM

better to have a healthy attitude, find the good people with the same attitude, and don't be the smartest person in the date, or the most skilled in bed. just be the one who finds someone worth sharing yourself with.

that's what success really looks like.


Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!!! lol

Wise words G, wise words....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/27/2015 11:39:12 AM

Why is it difficult for people to accept that we do this everyday, all the time? It's has nothing to do with feeling superior, or putting people down: it has to do with trying to find people we can connect with and would like to have in our lives to enrich it.


Yes, actually it DOES have something to do with 'feeling superior' and that comes through LOUD and clear with every word that you write....But that seems difficult for you to accept also...
All I am saying is that I prefer to see people as the ENTIRETY of who they ARE, as opposed to the sum of their flaws and try to keep an open mind...rather than dismiss them entirely as 'not worth knowing' due to some specific, undesirable, behaviours...

Does that mean that I'm going to invite the local crack addicts to my home for a party? No, simply because their behaviour is not in line with my own values...and could be detrimental to me, if I allow them access to my home or belongings, I mean, I'm not an idiot!!!
However, what I am hearing here is that you seem to think that people who are overweight, smoke etc, all 'addictions' that have nothing to do with YOU and have NO impact on your Life at ALL, are somehow 'unworthy' to be included in your inner circle...which IS your right, make no mistake....
However, if they are not practicing their addictions to YOUR detriment, I just think that being that 'exclusive' is actually your loss, not theirs....

You may just be missing out on meeting some terrific people who have much to offer, simply because you wish to ONLY surround yourself with like-minded people....
Now if you're talking about being in a primary relationship with someone whose values are not in line with your own, then I do agree that you are much better off choosing to ONLY date people that are acceptable to you and your values....

You may not be familiar with the old saying, but for myself I try to keep in mind...

That "where ALL think alike...NOBODY thinks very much!"
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What makes someone a quality person?
Posted: 6/27/2015 10:23:40 AM
^^^^^
Nope not deranged at all...

I, myself, don't like the term...sounds elitist, to me....

Also, when making judgments it's always a good idea to have ACCURATE information , as far as things like addictions go....To say that anyone who is 'addicted' is 'not intelligent' is more revealing of the speakers ignorance than their issue of not wanting to be with an 'addict'...which , is perfectly understandable.

For myself, I try to base my own judgments, and yes, we all do make those, on information rather than make snap judgments based on surface appearances, or behaviours...

People are complex and multi-faceted, not just 'this' way or 'that' way....to be summed up in a few minutes or less....

So I guess, for me, a quality person is someone who doesn't do any of those things, and has a mature and inclusive attitude towards the world rather than a narrow-minded and superficial one....that seeks to exclude based largely on assumptions.

I prefer to surround myself with people who make contributions to the world rather than talk about them, and I also prefer to be with people who seek to understand rather than judge, as that is the true way to knowing others....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Dad with 24 yr old daughter, very close.
Posted: 6/27/2015 9:12:12 AM
Ummmm...let's not start lumping all 'non-parents' together....lol

You DON'T have to be a parent to understand a child's needs, nor to know how to be mature enough to NOT feel threatened by the relationship between parent and child....

I'm an ADULT first which means that I have boundaries and wouldn't dream of telling someone how they should or shouldn't interact with their children....
I'm also NOT in need of his undivided attention, 24/7 as I mentioned...I AM an adult...lol

@OP, glad you managed to work out your situation to your satisfaction, good idea to decide to 'join in' rather than forcing him to 'choose'....
That was a mature decision, on your part.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Having Sex with Ugly Girls for Practice and Technique
Posted: 6/24/2015 6:00:52 AM
So you chose a deliberately provocative title in order to 'get attention' and are now regretting it, huh?

Well sucks to be YOU...LOL

Getting 'better' at sex happens with MORE than just technique which is something that all of us 'old folks' can tell you from experience...Well those of us who have grown up that is...lol

As far as us having no clue as to today's 'issues' well, yeah, right....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......

What? Do you believe that YOUR generation invented casual sex???? LMAO

Holy sh!t!

Your choice of words was poor at the least, and you're REALLY not helping your 'case' by explaining it in greater detail, and the fact of the matter is that being 'honest' about using someone, does NOT in any way diminish the fact that you are a user....
Which, also, has ZERO to do with whether or not you have found someone who participates in being used, either...

That's like saying that it's ok to steal because some people leave their doors open...

Casual sex is all well and good, but you are fulfilling an agenda of some kind, and in my world, casual sex is what you do to enjoy another person and have a pleasurable experience....
It CAN be done with respect and dignity...

Unfortunately I suspect those are words that you just MAY be unfamiliar with at this point....

Good luck with that, I'm SURE that "Miss Right' will be along any time now and hopefully will treat YOU in kind...unless, of course she trips across you while you are trying to get with some ugly chick for practice...

Have a nice day....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1287 (view)
 
We can agree to disagree
Posted: 6/24/2015 5:42:52 AM
Name calling has no place on the forums when debating...it's the tool of the ignorant and classless, imo

What I particularly LOVE is the misogynists in sheep's clothing, that get on here quoting a REAM of stats from a 'reliable source' such as Wikipedia, in order to bolster their woman-hating/rants....
Or pretending to an intellectual 'superiority' that they CLEARLY don't possess...

Funny how so FEW women seem to do that....

Bah...load of nonsense....

Btw..WORLD of difference between male circumcision and female genital mutilation , as in FGM is done for the SOLE purpose of controlling a woman's sexual activity by ensuring that she is NOT having sex for pleasure...

Male circumcision was touted as being for hygienic/religious reasons and NEVER for ANY other purpose...

Apples and oranges, although BOTH are barbaric practices that should never be done, imo
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 193 (view)
 
the Netherlands
Posted: 6/22/2015 9:21:51 PM
@ IG...
Nope still not a 'game'...

What you are describing is the process of deepening intimacy between two people....
Of course we reveal ourselves in stages, it would be foolish to do otherwise until we know that the other person can be trusted with our thoughts and feelings without judging us for them in a negative way.

That's what developing trust is about....which is the foundation to a good relationship...
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 404 (view)
 
Depression and suicide
Posted: 6/22/2015 7:29:24 AM
Thanks Ouija....from your mouth to the Universe's ears!!!
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 182 (view)
 
the Netherlands
Posted: 6/22/2015 7:24:26 AM
IG....Yes, you ARE right about 'putting your best foot forward'....

But that is NOT how I took that statement that you made....

Putting on a bit of make up and trotting out my best manners are a FAR cry from having a 'strategy' to 'snag a man', don't you think?

One is about making a good first impression and the other seems more of a calculated response that is designed to get me 'what I want'...which for me, leaves a LOT less room for me to just be the 'genuine' me....

I guess what I'm saying is that sooner or later, no matter WHAT we do, it will always come down to our having to be ourselves and be vulnerable about showing that to people, in order to give them something more than our persona to love...no? Not to mention that it is incredibly difficult for me, personally, to actually SEE them also, if I'm more concerned with how I'm appearing....

Even with the guy that I've started talking to...the first time on skype, I made sure to look my best, yes, I AM a part of the animal kingdom and DID trot out my 'feathers', lol But the second time, in fact the next day, I was in my usual garb and with my hair hastily brushed, etc. Little difference actually, simply because I don't 'do' make up with a trowel, kinda thing...

Point is, that's as far as my 'strategy' goes...

I am NOT trying to figure out ways to attract someone by body posture, or words or anything else, because for me, I simply find that too exhausting not to mention insincere....If I had a good time with a guy, then I will call him when I feel like it to tell him that...none of this 'waiting ' for a proscribed amount of time, etc.

I figure they're going to EVENTUALLY find out who I am, and in my way of thinking, that may as well be asap, so neither of us wastes time and/or ends up feeling like we've been 'victims' of the old 'bait and switch' somewhere down the road....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1179 (view)
 
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 6/22/2015 7:06:10 AM
Don't get me wrong there Eternity...

I HAVE suffered myself, and to a large degree as well....
I was simply saying that in TODAY'S world there HAS been progress over what we have experienced when younger...

There are laws in place now that allow for such things as abortion on demand, and that prior sexual history is no longer admissible in rape cases, longer sentences for sexual assault and rape, a sex offender registry, less wage disparity, although it still exists, etc.

For myself, however, I see NO point to arguing with the misogynists on here, as their opinions are of little consequence to those of us who ARE out there IRL, actually accomplishing the vision of equality between men and women's rights, that REAL Feminists are about...

You, and other women, are, however, free to 'fight the fight', wherever you see fit...and the very fact that we can make those choices today is something that I personally, thank Feminism for...;-)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 300 (view)
 
Interests of women over 50y/o
Posted: 6/22/2015 6:50:18 AM

There were also many other native North American tribes in which women could be chiefs, hunters, warriors- basically anything they wanted to be.


Nope, there weren't...

Women's primary role was and always has been, to continue the species, as nobody else COULD do it, as well as to raise children,...
The only time that a woman would be acknowledged as a 'chief' would be if she was married to one who was killed and took part in the process of helping the tribe to choose another...Although I'm sure that you can find a female chief SOMEWHERE, in their history, it would prove challenging to say the least, as most North American Natives history is purely oral, and, unfortunately, like a game of post office, much has been lost over the centuries...especially since assimilation by the white man.
As for hunting, again, it was 'frowned upon' for a woman to hunt as her getting injured would compromise the survival of her children...Single women however, especially younger ones WERE allowed to hunt, but again, many tribes had restrictions based upon their menstrual cycles as well as their 'value' as 'breeders' of children.

As far as Mohawk women 'deposing' a chief...again, not sure where that comes from, but as far as I know that was a decision made by a council of ELDERS, which meant men AND women, and all they could do was make a recommendation, they did NOT have the power to actually 'depose' anyone...in the majority of tribes, and I won't say that I know the traditions of ALL tribes, as the 6 Nations alone is made up of 6 different tribes,and that comprises over 140 00 registered people at this point, who are spread over a wide area, into many bands....Many Native tribes and traditions were among the first 'democracies'.
In the case of a woman who was being abused by her mate, a council of women COULD be formed and then take the issue to the elders, who would then take the recommendation and most likely approve it, yes, because violence between mates, was unacceptable and possibly very damaging in such small communities with so many intricate and complicated familial ties.

As far as claiming to be part Mohawk...Well, again, not going to trot out my 'credentials' for anyone on a dating forum, and the information IS out there, in MORE than one example from Wikipedia, for anyone who is interested in the facts rather than the opinions of ANY one person, including myself ....

AS for your friend's opinions about 'damaged women becoming man-hating feminists',...well, DUH!!!LOL

Of course a woman who has suffered at the hands of a man WILL most likely seek shelter under the banner of Feminism...I'm sorry, but do you believe that the men in MGTOW are 'loving' women???? Doesn't mean that is the MAJORITY, or that ALL feminists are coming from the same place....
Just wait, my friend...you WILL eventually see that the exact SAME thing will happen with that 'movement' as well...(MGTOW)
IF there actually ARE any men involved with it who DON'T hate women at all, they will VERY quickly find themselves defending and trying to separate the 'real' issues out from the agenda of those who are there to simply get revenge on all women everywhere...and BEAT them back into 'submission' where they 'belong'....

What? Because it's a group of men fighting for THEIR 'rights' you believe that that somehow legitimizes their hatred of women...more? Or makes it permissible in the first place?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1177 (view)
 
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 6/22/2015 6:12:20 AM

I have a much lower opinion of men in general (as well as several in particular) now than I did two days ago.


Oh please don't let the nonsense that you see on here in ANY way affect your opinion of men in general....

One thing I know for sure is that what we often see in the forums is an exaggerated caricature of the REAL men out there in the world...

Chances are, you and I will never be so unfortunate as to encounter this type of misogyny in REAL Life, simply because A) there ARE laws against that today...and B) Most of those guys are hopefully locked in their houses spewing off about this kind of crap and are too busy and cowardly to actually share those views in the actual world....

I've never encountered SO much hatred directed towards women as I have since being on these forums and I have worked with an EXCLUSIVELY male, prison population....
Between the total and complete misinformation and faux statistics, as well as the women who appear to be equally confused about the topic, Feminism and causes for women's rights have survived MUCH worse than a couple of ignorant whiners who get off on trying to get people's goat by being deliberately provocative....

It's saddening and disgusting and I'm done with even speaking out against it at this point, here any way, because I realize there IS no point whatsoever...and besides who cares? This is a dating site and if they are choosing THIS particular venue, as well as always posting behind the anonymity of pictureless profiles, that only tells me that they really ARE as impotent and cowardly as they appear....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
when do people really begin to grow up?
Posted: 6/22/2015 5:57:08 AM

Bamagrl,what I hear all the time is that since I don't have children I don't know anything about love.commitment,etc....I sometimes wonder if there is anything people do that they don't come up with some way to use it as a way to look down at somebody else and feel superior.


Only immature people actually use other people's self-esteem as a stepping stone to their own...


People grow up when life makes them.


While this makes sense, and I would love to believe that...

Many people, just NEVER grow up at all....ime.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 179 (view)
 
the Netherlands
Posted: 6/22/2015 5:52:44 AM

If feminists don't just speak up for women but believe in equality and rights for everyone why is it called feminism? How about calling it "human rights"? The name implies that the only oppressed people in the world are females.


At the time of the movements inception, it WAS only about women, because they needed ALL the help they could get....and MANY still do...

The name implies that the primary focal point is women NOT that women are the 'only ones oppressed', anymore than 'the Cancer Society' implies that cancer is the only disease...

Really?
Disingenuous much?

You're going to have to do better than that....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1110 (view)
 
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 6/21/2015 8:53:38 AM
Wow!

I just realized what a cold, dark world that you live in, there Billy....

I actually feel really sorry for you...

So much hate....and you actually seek it out, don't you?
Is it because you have no love, so you need...something?

I get it now and will no longer engage with you because I believe it is making you more and more sick in the soul....

Good luck there...I hope that you feel the joy of Life, before it's too late....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How do I let him know
Posted: 6/21/2015 8:39:58 AM
Seems like an awful lot of 'machinations' to tell someone that you're interested in getting to know them...

Hey how about you do THAT????

As for being 'too shy' pr traditional, well, if that's NOT working for you I guess opening your mouth and actually speaking up will have to be the next step...
IF you don't want to remain celibate for the rest of your Life...;-)

With all due respect...he's just a person, NOT a god, seeing as the nerves are YOURS, you CAN control them....
And just because you're nervous, doesn't mean that you can't do it any way....

Just hold your nose, and take the plunge...

What's the worst that can happen?
He says no?
So?

Will your Life end and you crumble into dust?

Nope...you'll be somewhat disappointed and then ...move on....

Your choice.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 286 (view)
 
Interests of women over 50y/o
Posted: 6/20/2015 10:14:16 PM
The number of indigenous tribes in the world is quite high and always has been...And yes you ARE right, in that many had strong female-based ideologies that imparted importance and status to women....
Make NO mistake, compared to the rest of the human population throughout history, they are STILL a very small percentage...

As far as the Hopi being matrilineal, so what? That just means that children were traced back through the mother rather than the father, which made sense at the time, as most tribes believed that women were impregnated by 'spirits' of some kind, and that men had no part in it, as women were the ones who produced children. As far as 'matrilocal', again that ONLY means that the couple after uniting would live with, or near the woman's birth family, and, considering that most tribes lived communally any way...Again, that in no way imparted any special 'power' or privilege to women.

As far as women being able to hunt etc. yes, there were women who were 'allowed' to hunt, but the majority of the things you are talking about are specific to indigenous tribes and a specific period in history. Once those tribes were subsumed by the European culture, those traditions, along with many others, fell by the wayside, and the majority of indigenous men, began to treat women the same as the Europeans, as chattel, nothing more nothing less...

Along with alcohol abuse and being completely disenfranchised, the sexism was almost an incidental addition, at the time...

As I said in the original post...Today, on the majority of reserves in North America, even the resurgence of many traditional ways of Life DOES NOT include a 'return' to that level of equality for the women, at all.
Unfortunately, several hundred years of assimilation, has taken it's toll, in many ways...

Let's face it we can go back to those really early humans and find evidence that women and fertility were central to their belief systems as well...I don;t argue that at all, and once again, that was largely due to the 'mysteries' of pregnancy and birth..But frankly, as we became more 'civilized', in Western society at any rate, any equality previously enjoyed by women, somehow fell by the wayside...and once science actually PROVED that men had as much a part in conception as women did, well, again, that was yet another 'game changer'...

Interesting how that works, huh?

But I'm still waiting to hear exactly what kind of 'rights' that the Mohawk women in particular enjoy over and above the men...? As per your Native friend that you spoke of earlier....

And again, because ONE woman, Native or not believes that all Feminists and the movement as a whole is comprised of a bunch of "man-haters"and wants nothing to do with them...So what?
Apparently there are a LOT of women out there today who are as ignorant as the majority of the men I hear spouting off the same nonsense about Feminism being about "man-haters", etc,. all while enjoying the fruits of the blood, sweat and tears of those women who came before and were PROUD to call themselves Feminists...

Some people never obviously progressed beyond the puerile, black and white thinking of childhood, to be able to differentiate between the cause and it's ideologies and the few members of the overall movement who are NOT representative of the movement as a whole....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 277 (view)
 
Interests of women over 50y/o
Posted: 6/20/2015 7:08:21 PM
@ Kiss...

And you obviously didn't read my post referring to that....
As for many, name ANY other Native traditions that put women in an EQUAL never mind, superior position....

The only other tradition I can recall was one where the woman had the right to put her husbands blankets outside and that was considered the end of the coupling...And I believe that was the Cherokee...

I come from Mohawk myself, so not sure who you're talking to, but that's NOT the reality on the 6 reserves that I've spent time on...
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 269 (view)
 
Interests of women over 50y/o
Posted: 6/20/2015 12:27:17 PM
I think I hear the delusional rantings of a dinosaur around here....LOL

No! that can't be!!!

They became extinct 65million years ago!!! lol

@ Billy...oh you poor oppressed MEN!!

What with your right to choose your own destiny and work and get paid a decent wage and NOT have to worry about your drunk or angry spouse coming home and beating and raping you because she had a BAD day, or having to carry the child that was impregnated by your father/cousin/uncle etc. because, hey!!! You're just a sperm dump for the FAMILY, as nobody gave two sh!its....what happened to you...

Hey let's BRING up some history there, I am a buff, and we can discuss the "oppression" of MEN, vs women back then....


Silly, silly me....

Please...you're embarrassing yourself by speaking about something that you have obviously formed opinions on based on selective information that you've cobbled together with a whole lot of generalizations and garden variety wishful thinking....

Whatever...yes, I just want MORE, that's right, like ANY man has EVER 'given' me ANYTHING in my Life!!! Other than a major headache as of right now....LOL

As for men fighting in wars and doing risky jobs, well the average lifespan for women was also around 26, less than HALF that of the average man, depending on which period in history you're looking at, and, if she was lucky, up until the last 100 or so years and while that was largely due to childbirth, there were MANY women who fought and died beside their men, before men realized that they better protect women by not allowing them into combat in order to continue the species....and barred women from war, as well as many women killed by abusive husbands...

Coincidentally, that is STILL happening today...How many men died last year at their spouses hands due to domestic abuse?
Do you know or have even a CLUE???

No, probably not, because you're stuck on thinking that all women want is MORE, rather than EQUAL....and spouting off regarding subjects that you KNOW nothing about, which is clear...

Done trying to reason with the delusional and insane...

Your views sicken me, and frankly, you're going to think whatever you want. So have at 'er....

Oh and by the way...you can stop projecting your OWN emotionality and ignorance onto ME...I have been part of the Feminist movement for the last 30 years and speak from experience and information, you HAVE NOT....

More importantly, I AM a woman and , again, you are NOT....

So, do me a favour and stop trying to TELL me what my Lifetime of experience AS a woman has been or has not been, got it?
You have NO clue and NO interest in actually HEARING about it from women apparently, unlike myself who HAS spoken to MANY, MANY men over the years about their experiences as MEN in today's world....

Just because YOU believe that something IS, based on little more than your own suppositions, and armchair evaluations, DOESN'T make it true....
I believe that you and that actual reality have merely a nodding acquaintance any way, if your posts are anything to judge by....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 253 (view)
 
Interests of women over 50y/o
Posted: 6/20/2015 3:57:54 AM
@Billy...Well LOTS of assumptions and generalizations there....LOL

Any way, I have had this debate repeatedly here, and can tell that you are quite firm in your beliefs and are less interested in a 'debate' than in proving yourself in the 'right'....

I WILL admit...so am I!!!LOL

I don't have the time nor inclination to get into an endless circular argument about the error of such statements as my 'promoting the rape culture and gender wage gap' fallacies, and, although I am aware that there are quite a few people in the Western world who believe that the Western societies ARE the 'world', actually, there are still MANY other countries where women do NOT have ANY rights, try picking up a newspaper one day...

Feminism has NO borders...as long as there is a woman somewhere in the world being sold into sexual slavery, having her genitals mutilated as a matter of tradition so that she isn;t tempted to stray in her marriage, who is being KILLED because she was raped, who is forced to have a child against her will, and so on...True feminists will continue their work.

Even in those Western societies, there are still many issues that need to be addressed, but, you are dismissing those as being 'debunked', so...

And not quite sure how my making an accurate statement about women being oppressed since the dawn of humankind, basically, is 'proving' anything either....

Nope, not getting into this, you have obviously been around long enough to have read my thoughts on this before, enough to have almost completely misinterpreted them any way...lol

Which tells me that you only want an opportunity to 'dress down' what you SO despise in a public forum in order to feel some sense of validation for what are nothing more than warped, twisted and erroneous views on your own part, on what you 'believe' that represents....Which you have EVERY 'right' to hold, as that IS the beauty of a free and EQUAL society....

You don't know me at all, you have NO clue apparently as to who I am, and have selectively chosen arbitrary portions of statements that I've made to 'support' a flimsy argument, that is nothing more than the sounds of dissatisfaction of the oppressor, mourning the loss of power...

Sorry, there, bud...NOT interested! LOL
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 173 (view)
 
I'm on fire.
Posted: 6/20/2015 3:19:23 AM
Sorry to interrupt the levity...but I HAD to jump in here....

Blackwood is a guy who 'gets' feminism, and actually stated it quite eloquently...

As far as women's magazines, they are NOT for feminists in general, because they ARE mostly all about how to 'snag a man' you ARE right IG, and frankly, that is NOT a concern of women who ARE feminists....
I, and other 'feminists' I know, are 'bucking the system' and basically saying that we refuse to play the stupid games that people play, and torture ourselves into looking 'good enough' for men...and also refuse to follow what are considered to be societal norms today.

Feminists, REAL ones, DON'T hate men, and never have....We also, don't 'expect' men to be any ONE way or to 'play' any ONE role, but accept men as the PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE....

Feminists DON'T just 'speak up for women' but believe in equality and rights for EVERYONE....Speaking up for women just happens to be their primary focus for whatever their own personal reasons...
To say that being a Feminist means speaking ONLY for women, is like saying that amongst ALL of the diseases, if I'm doing fund raising for cancer, I WON'T do any fund raising for MS...Kinda silly, huh?

Feminists take responsibility for their OWN actions and choices, thoughts and behaviours.

I don't know who it was who mentioned about the Native woman refusing to be 'involved with feminism because they perceived it as being 'man-hating'...but my heritage comes from the Mohawk tribe. Fierce warriors, and the tradition is that women in the tribe are supposed to be 'the keeper's of the land'....That means that anything involving making decisions regarding land use or disputes, is normally handled by the council of women.
Unfortunately misogyny has ALSO permeated many of the Mohawk reserves since the white man arrived, and many Mohawk women have been displaced as the keepers of the land, today.
There has been a movement in the East, in Mohawk territory in the last 20-30yrs or so to correct that, because tradition is enjoying a resurgence of popularity on a lot of the reserves, but there is quite a bit of resistance to that, particular tradition...
That, my friends, is the result of 'assimilation' of Native culture into the larger mainly European construct that was brought over by the original immigrants and has remained, since...


The reality of dating, whether you, me or anyone likes it or not, it is a game. A form of poker game in which you reveal cards and as you do so, they increase or decrease attraction, find them irresistible or a red flag comes on. You want the date to be as smooth as possible, so as you put your cards on the table, she matches with cards that relate and you have things in common and a sense of trust forms. For instance, if you start showing your cards about previous relationships on that firsts dates, red flags come up. If she starts to ask the guy too many financial questions, red flags go up. If the guy starts asking too many sexual questions, red flags go up.


Ahhh...IG...as usual...No, just....no....

I have NEVER played any KIND of 'game' in any way, shape or form in order to 'relate' to someone, and am not in some kind of 'massive denial', nor am I naive...
Some of us are actually out there just trying to connect with someone with honesty and fairness and without being calculating and 'strategic' about how to 'get' them...For myself, those methods are actually the antithesis of real love...
As CC said, it's really about just being yourself and sooner or later, there WILL be someone who is looking for exactly who YOU are....
But, as I always say, whatever works for YOU, is fine, just please, stop espousing those views as some kind of "law" of dating that is THE only way to 'get' a woman....and that everyone is obligated to follow and believe as the ultimate 'Truth".

Finally...

As far as that ridiculous book, 'The Rules'....

As far as I'm concerned it has all of the literary value of a crossword puzzle, actually that's an insult to crossword puzzles!, and was most DEFINITELY written by ANTI-Feminsts, which, I would think would be obvious to those who know even an iota about Feminism...

Just because a person is female, does NOT, automatically make her a Feminist, anymore than being a man, automatically makes you a misogynist....

Everybody has their OWN beliefs, and it's not like women who behave in ways that counter the core of the Feminist ideology while still calling themselves Feminists, will have their card rescinded at the next meeting or anything...
So often on here what I see are many views and opinions that have never gone beyond the complexity of being 'black and white'...when Life really is all about shades of gray, and I don't mean that piece of crap movie that was all the rage, recently...as most adult have learned by the time they attain maturity...

The same as you WILL find fanatics and extremists in pretty much ANY group of people, you WILL find them within the self-proclaimed Feminist community , too...

Hopefully as with other groups, religions, etc.people are able to rise above the juvenile temptation to judge ALL by the actions of the few, and understand that is NOT, was NOT, and will NEVER be, the intention of the core body of Feminists who are practicing what they preach and trying to make changes in a sane, and socially POSITIVE way....
We ALL know that the squeaky and sensationalistic wheel...gets the grease, right? Or don't we? Sometimes, I wonder....

It's unfortunate that an entire ideology and movement that was always for positive social change has been demonized to the point that Feminist has become a dirty word these days, and is being rejected as newold...mentioned, by the VERY young women who are benefiting from it the MOST today....

All because the crazy, man-hating women who ARE out there, are 'screaming' the LOUDEST.....and people can't be bothered to look any deeper into the subject and instead, take THAT to be 'the face of Feminism' simply because it 'fits' their own, narrow-minded views...

And that's all I have to say about THAT....lol
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 400 (view)
 
Depression and suicide
Posted: 6/19/2015 11:18:14 AM
@basilisk...
Sometimes our 'purpose' in Life doesn't coincide with what we think that we want....
By focusing on NOT having what you want, you may find yourself remaining closed to something so MUCH more than that, being offered to you by the Universe...or Fate or God, or whatever you believe in...

Lots of people said some really good stuff here...

There aren't any easy answers...no 'quick fixes'...becoming who you are meant to be and BEING that person, well, that takes WORK, sometimes!! Especially if you have suffered from depression for any length of time, it can be even MORE challenging...
It takes risk and courage and strength and all of the VERY things that you don't believe that you have...

Let me tell you a secret...those things only come when you start to open yourself up to Life....
You can start by getting in touch with your 'gut' or 'intuition', again, use whatever name or label that works for you....

Six months ago...I was in a job that I despised and was considering going on anti-depressants AGAIN, in order to cope...

Then...I got fired...and for ONCE in my Life...I sat there and asked myself, if that was REALLY such a bad thing?
Rather than go for the knee jerk reaction of, panicking and immediately feeling victimized, and believe me I had more than just cause!

I just sat with myself for about a week or so and really 'listened' to what that inner voice was saying to me...

It took a while, because I had been ignoring it for so long, that it had faded to a mere whisper, but I REALLY listened...

It told me that not only had I not been happy in my work for a long time, but that I was also not very happy living in my home city anymore either...

Can't even BEGIN to tell you how scary THAT was!!!

Here I was, feeling somewhat battered and afraid and now my 'gut' was telling me that I had to somehow find the courage to make some REALLY major changes to my Life????
I was like, WTF????

But, for once, I just clarified some details, like the fact that I had always wanted to live in BC, since spending time in the Rockies many years ago, and the name 'Nanaimo" popped up...for no particular reason...I had no friends there, or family, no job waiting, or anything...But, there it was...

Funny thing about those 'gut feelings'...Once you start to not only listen, but actually take steps, even small ones towards the direction it's urging, well, it's like everything begins to fall into place, almost magically...

It's something that's totally separate and apart form anything resembling 'logic' and can seem to other people to be nuts! But the fact is, other people aren't the ones living YOUR Life, now, are they?
As I said, everything started to fall into place and 2 months later, here I am, living in Nanaimo, looking for work, which I'm certain to find soon, and I have it on good authority that will be on the 27th of this month! LOL Private joke there, for someone who'll know who they are...;-)

Point is, despite the fact that I'm only able to afford to rent a room for the moment, and I'm unemployed, and I'm thousands of miles away from friends and family, it somehow ...feels 'right' to be right here, right now....
And the best part is that every morning that I wake up and smell the ocean and see the mountains and watch the Eagles hunting for their breakfast, well, I'm happier HERE, than I was back 'home' earning a good paycheque and in a familiar place...

Will it all work out?

I don't know...but all I know is that I'm continuing to listen to that inner voice and it has also led me, quite unexpectedly to a wonderful man, that I never dreamed that I would be involved with, as I REALLY wasn't looking, especially NOW, at this point in my Life...

The gifts, it would appear...just keep on coming, and I'm remembering to accept, be grateful and NOT 'get in there' and muck about and screw things up, because I had NOTHING to do with orchestrating ANY of this, so I'm just going along for the ride....

And all of this happened, because I reached waaaayyyyy down deep inside and found a tiny, little spark of courage and hope and strength and just took the first step....

I don't know if that will work for you, or anyone else, and I'm not saying that everyone has to shake up their lives to the same degree, but I believe that we all know in our hearts when something isn't...right.
Staying in that is bound to kill your spirit eventually...so why not take a chance and a risk to break free...the key to your 'prison'...may just be in your own hands....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 202 (view)
 
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/19/2015 10:49:20 AM
Well from all I've read and seen on the threads around here over the last while that I've been here, it appears that I need to find me a man who can just TELL me what I'm feeling and who won't require me to have to use my feeble female brain to actually KNOW when and how I'm attracted to a man....

I mean, seriously????

Everybody whether male or female is different...I, personally make my decisions pretty quickly, too, based on whether or not I'm physically attracted to a man, I mean, who doesn't?

If something else about him catches my attention, ie. sense of humour, intelligence, etc. before I physically meet him, then perhaps a lukewarm physical attraction can be 'built upon' and turn into something else...but there is no exact science to it last I checked...
We are all individuals and have our own ways of approaching dating and relationships....whether male or female, imo

I always try to keep in mind, that once I think I have it 'all figured out', I am no longer open to learning and have left NO room for the element of surprise that the Universe is SO very fond of visiting upon us from time to time...;-)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Does Appearance make women misjudge men
Posted: 6/19/2015 10:41:25 AM
^^^^
Nope...and he is a frequent visitor to Montreal as well....I ran into him again, several times over the years....Interesting guy, not pretentious at ALL,just a brilliant poet and musician! :-)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Smile or not Smile in primary photo?
Posted: 6/19/2015 10:38:41 AM
A big, wide, and GENUINE smile is very attractive to me....

As Scooter mentioned, stats, well, unless you have all of the info, who did the study how the study was conducted, were the participants volunteers and where were they chosen from, demographic, age, and so on and so on...they ARE useful for blowing your nose on the paper they're written on if you have no kleenex handy...;-)

But more than that?
Not so much....lol

Btw...Scooter, I always liked your profile pic with that little smile of yours...looks very mischievous!!! And I'm certain that it works well for you! :)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 250 (view)
 
Interests of women over 50y/o
Posted: 6/19/2015 10:30:03 AM
^^^^^^^^

Here! Here!


I hope the meeting/rallys aren't going to be in the nude, though...0_0
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 248 (view)
 
Interests of women over 50y/o
Posted: 6/19/2015 10:12:57 AM
@ Billy...

i've said it before, and I'll say it again...Feminism IS NOT ONE THING OR GROUP OF WOMEN....

it is MANY women and MEN, btw, who are working towards the common goal, hopefully, of giving women the CHOICES that they didn't have throughout history to have autonomy over their own lives and bodies....

To state that they are 'all out to demonize; men is such a generalization that it ceases to have any meaning at all....

Most of the women that I have encountered that are involved in the Feminist movement in the last 30 years, are NOT 'man-haters' and don't want to live in some kind of 'opposiiteworld' where women now get to be the 'superior group'...

Are there women who believe and want that? Of course there are!

The same as there's a small group of Muslims who think that all Americans should die and did their level best to make that happen....

Should we judge the MILLIONS of others out there, who DON'T have those beliefs by that minority?

Well, to do so, would be a grave disservice to those who live peacefully practicing their own beliefs, with NO harm to anyone else, now wouldn;t it?

As for the female anti-feminists, well, yes, they are out there, too, and for myself, I consider them as misguided and misinformed as the men who follow MGTOW, and their ilk....
They are 'protesting' against something without even having a clear idea of what it actually IS....

@ anti...Yes, Feminism really does seem to be the 'dumping ground' du jour...n'est-ce pas? lol
That's ok, women have dealt with oppression and inequality for thousands of years...I think we can handle a few sour grapes that are merely temporary, and will fade with each passing generation, much as they would like to believe otherwise...;-)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
when do people really begin to grow up?
Posted: 6/19/2015 9:57:14 AM
Lots of good stuff here...
Tend to agree with Igor...and Belle gives a good explanation of the social dynamics and issues that can stunt maturity, too...

As far as having a job 'define; a person, no I don't think that's a sign of maturity at all, nor do I believe that making house payments or staying in a job that you no longer like is a sign of it either...

For me it comes down to accountability and responsibility...to myself, to others and to the world as a whole....Which also requires some introspection, or mindfulness as Belle mentioned....
Very few people seem to take the time or have the inclination towards that anymore....

Relating to all of those things in a sane, rational and responsible way, is key....
Owning your own actions, words, behaviour and thoughts are also signs of maturity....

You can always lose your house or your job at any time, and if those are the things that you are using to define yourself as a person, then you're in BIG trouble...

Integrity on the other hand...that never goes away...;-)

Good topic, there G...
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 603 (view)
 
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 6/19/2015 9:45:14 AM
Can't BELIEVE that this thread is still going!!! lol


For me it's always been about MOVING....

While aerobic exercise is great for the heart, it will take FOREVER to burn enough calories/fat in oder to be an effective way to lose weight....

Light weights as well as resistance training will just melt the weight off...and I have tried every diet and exercise regime know to humankind.
That and eating healthy, which CAN be done on even the tightest budgets, is the key, for me.

There are MANY sites out there with healthy and cheap alternatives to fast food and/or junky food that has little to no nutritional value....

It really IS as simple as eating right and finding the type of exercise that does YOUR body 'good'....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Does Appearance make women misjudge men
Posted: 6/19/2015 9:36:27 AM
Yup PEOPLE do it ALL the time and I believe it is a timeless question , so who cares how old the thread is?

Any way...Appearances are deceiving....

I once saw a guy on a park bench many years ago lying down...People in the park were giving him and the bench a WIDE berth and it was quite apparent the judgement going on....

He had long hair and looked almost emaciated, and I thought he may have been ill, so I went over to check and make sure that he was okay...Someone actually told me to 'be careful', which STILL makes me laugh...but that's another thread...;-)

He was actually taking a quick nap as it turned out, with his hat over his face....and when he sat up as I sat down beside him and he was disturbed....
Well...much to my surprise, it turned out to be Geddy Lee from the band Rush....lol

Got a great autograph and his warmest thanks for checking on him and a story to tell to boot...:-)

So much for 'judging' based on appearances...;-)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
barker up the wrong tree
Posted: 6/19/2015 9:23:49 AM
Wow!

Nice...I mean way to go at using women to 'practice' on for the ones that you REALLY want....

Gotta say...that is one of the MOST douchey things I've seen on these threads in a while...

And to think, some 'lucky' girl will get the benefit of all of that 'practice' on the ugly/repulsive ones...Plan on sharing that with HER???

I'm SURE she'll be thrilled to know that....LOL

Just...wow....disgusting....
 
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