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 Author Thread: men's opinion wanted
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
men's opinion wanted
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:15:23 PM

Some ppl feel the urge to make me feel stupid. I simply want to understand why men do this.

Because your BS detector isn't working. That automatically makes you vulnerable to the type of men "who do this".
No sense in making this solely a question of MEN'S motivations when you were a key participant.

You will never be able to control men's motivations. It would be in your own best interest to get a little better at recognizing the obvious bullshit when it happens so you don't have to wonder what drives them.

If you're not willing to recognize YOUR role in the transaction.... oh well.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Too soon to ask?
Posted: 4/9/2015 12:55:10 PM

If that is as far as things have progressed after a month, you are wasting your time and effort. If she were really interested in you, you would have gotten that far on the first date.

Especially with someone from Craigslist, or that phone # you found next to the condom machine at IHOP.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
men's opinion wanted
Posted: 4/9/2015 12:43:00 PM

Spent the nite staring at each other telling each other how gorgeous we are lol

That's nothing more than impetuous infatuation and marks you both as either gullible or flaky.


he really liked me and thought this was going to turn into something great

Based on what, one date and some googly eyes?


People have to show you who they are, not talk about it.

^ He showed you.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
men's opinion wanted
Posted: 4/9/2015 11:30:58 AM

He may be telling the truth but what do you think?

I think he met somebody even more beautiful than you. He likely had this date planned before he even got lost in your eyes. This is why he'll never see you again but pretend that his job suddenly got in the way, oooh "very upset".
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 29 (view)
 
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 9:08:34 AM
OP and Strawberry are dating the same men. It's a small world.

Gawd I would have busted a gasket.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 29 (view)
 
My Online Dating Experience in 4 Years (Guys Pov)
Posted: 4/9/2015 8:34:58 AM

So this is what it all comes down to. All 4 of these dates were a success, but none of these 4 dates went where I wanted them to go either, a meaningful relationship. To add to this, these 4 dates are after messaging 100s of women. 4 dates out of 100s.

You're 23 and you had four dates, none of which turned into a meaningful relationship?? Oh, the horror.
OP you seem awfully young to be so weirdly, inordinately interested in marriage. Live a little. You will never get your 20s back. Your time will come.

I don't know why you're putting marriage up on a pedestal. It's a huge undertaking and one that can't be easily undone. I got married very young, and it was the worst decision I ever made. I want to scream when I see people like you getting all grabby about being in a "meaningful relationship". GOD WHY. Makes me think mothers are abandoning their kids in cabbage patches, that's why they spend the rest of their lives trying to get back on the tit!

Have one with yourself first. Then, if and when the right one comes along, you'll be read.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
My Online Dating Experience in 4 Years (Guys Pov)
Posted: 4/9/2015 8:33:27 AM

So this is what it all comes down to. All 4 of these dates were a success, but none of these 4 dates went where I wanted them to go either, a meaningful relationship. To add to this, these 4 dates are after messaging 100s of women. 4 dates out of 100s.

You're 23 and you had four dates, none of which turned into a meaningful relationship?? Oh, the horror.
OP you seem awfully young to be so weirdly, inordinately interested in marriage. Live a little. You will never get your 20s back. Your time will come.

I don't know why you're putting marriage up on a pedestal. It's a huge undertaking and one that can't be easily undone. I got married very young, and it was the worst decision I ever made. I want to scream when I see people like you getting all grabby about being in a "meaningful relationship".

Have one with yourself first. Then, if and when the right one comes along, you'll be read.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Too soon to ask?
Posted: 4/9/2015 7:30:10 AM

I've gotten as far as "1st base", which is almost nowhere after a month.

Good to know you measure the value of your relationships based on how much sex you aren't getting while you stand around looking at your watch. I know, what else are we good for, rite? I mean FFS, if you haven't made it to at least 3rd base after a month, what is the point?!?

I hope you aren't paying for all these dates out of your own pocket, OP. Tsk.
I think you should do her a favor and cut her loose lest any more of your time be inappropriately wasted.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Too soon to ask?
Posted: 4/9/2015 7:09:40 AM
Beyond the basic advice of "ask her", I'm pretty sure that "putting her on the spot" (your words) under the circumstances you describe is a bad idea. So if I were you I'd let her set the pace for now. If you don't like the pace, that's ok too. You'll need to find someone else who is more compatible.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Second Chance to Make a First Impression
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:50:47 AM

I'm excited for it, but also nervous because it's kind of like a first-date, but also not since we know each other quite well. I guess my question is how do I approach it?

Just be your regular relaxed self like you've been doing. That's what she already knows and likes about you.


, but the "spark/chemistry" factor is still an unknown

So what? If the potential is there it will happen all on its own without any help from you. What are you gonna do, fake it?


I'm worried about it seeming like I am trying to hard

You are now, stop doing that.

The museum sounds like fun.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
 
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:39:54 AM

Examples: "I eat WAY too much meat", "I eat WAY too much candy", "I spend WAY too much money on 'unneeded' stuff", "I spend way too much time doing 'unimportant' things", blah, blah, blah. Huh?

Who is telling you these things, the men you're dating? That's ok you can date someone else or just go out with a friend.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Redhead women: yay or nay?
Posted: 4/8/2015 9:36:16 AM
"Blondes have more fun".
"Once you go black, you'll never go back."
"Blue eyes crying in the rain."
"Redheaded women buck like goats." (Is that a yes or a no?)
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I broke up with my girlfriend. I dumped her with text. I feel terrible about it. What should I do?
Posted: 4/8/2015 4:18:32 AM
Hi OP, everyone feels lousy after a breakup. Since she never picked up the phone anyway, then texting was an ok way to do it. I don't think you needed to follow up with an apology and a phone call.

Why are you guilt-tripping? You were wanting more out of this than she was willing to give, and that never worked. People break up with each other all the time, and you are saying it was the thing to do. Why are you wringing your hands about getting her back?? Why do you need her forgiveness when according to you, YOU were the one making all the sacrifices and the effort? Don't you remember what a martyr you were just five minutes ago? Don't you want what you want and mean what you say? Are you neurotic??? STOP IT.

Walk away. You'll live.

[If you were pretending to break up with her just to get her attention, that's a huge no no. In which case, it backfired and you totally deserve it. I hope you weren't passive-aggressive enough to even think of doing such a thing.]
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Women exhibitionist's
Posted: 4/7/2015 7:03:56 AM
^^^ Reminds me of a date my mom told me about once. She was still in high school. They were somewhere in his car. He fumbles his junk out of his pants and waits for the reaction.

She takes one look at his d1ck, laughs out loud and says "what are going to do with *that*?"

THE END
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 466 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/7/2015 6:53:32 AM
... And this is the most attention you've received from women in one place since 1876? Even though we know, sadly, that you don't want us. *Sigh* But it is thrilling for you, isn't it? The last time this happened, it must have been the nurses in cat eye glasses who were checking to see if your balls had dropped.

Have a very special day.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Women exhibitionist's
Posted: 4/7/2015 6:37:59 AM
Oh for fawk sake op, are you taking a poll??

I have a female friend who love to watch me flash other women,loves to watch their response

Your sister just called. She said and I quote, "How COULD he?!? I thought this was our little secret! *sobbing*"



You should both be incarcerated.

^
The authorities have been notified, you're welcome.
http://www.bethlehemnh.org/police.html
Bethlehem Police Department
TIP HOTLINE
Call Anonomously - (603) 869-5811
or Email Us - police@bethlehemnh.org
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 463 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/7/2015 6:28:26 AM

dumbass of the year award

Oh Demidar, you really are special, aren't you?

Laughing at Walter Mitty the postman wearing out his shoes and pretending to be a DAV while escaping daily assaults by vicious Rottweilers. Ppl should have looked at your posting history a lil' earlier, but then again can you blame us for ignoring it? I mean really.

[Speaking of looking at stuff, WHO has copied a line from my profile?? I agree, it's a good one. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But then again I might throw down the gauntlet. Pistols at dawn! Ok, I'll wait for a slow day.]
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 435 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/6/2015 2:07:17 PM

name the names of at least two thousand men who died in combat . because it is probably 1000 men die per each woman participating in combat who dies

According to you, it's because men are being systematically marginalized while being "told to go fight and die, especially when it isn't even for their country's security", by an institution that is overwhelmingly male. Remember?


Making a statement about people choosing to serve or not , just shows who wants to earn their rights and who expects other people to earn their rights for them .

FYI, rights are not earned in this country. I guess you were too busy besmirching the uniform you didn't deserve to wear to remember that. What kind of statement is being made when someone disrespects the military but wants to take credit for claiming to be marginalized by it in the same breath?

Maybe you should shut that cake hole of yours while most of the people here either can't remember what just came out if it or are choosing to ignore you as usual.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Has she lost interest?
Posted: 4/6/2015 10:35:17 AM
^^^After one date, nothing she said or did means anything beyond ritual pleasantries unless she goes out with you again. People can and will change their minds about how excited they are after meeting you.... this puts a lot of people in an awkward position. What DO you say for an encore when you lose interest after meeting someone and you got all carried away with yourself in the pre-date thrill zone? Oops.

Is it any wonder that people start getting cagey? You will end up in the same boat one day. So it would be wise to cool your jets. And remember to come back here and let us know how annoying it is that someone you're not so interested in after all keeps asking asking asking, when when when, text text text! There is no escaping the rejection or the changed minds or the confusing behavior, so why sweat it? One date. Let go.

I think you are spending way too much time wringing your hands over somebody you don't know and may end up never seeing again.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Why Dont Men Make More of an Effort?
Posted: 4/6/2015 10:07:38 AM

Why does it matter what I look like? I actually don't care. I'm sick of hearing how "beautiful" I am or to "learn take a compliment" as if I should be grateful you focus on how I look.

I get it, you actually don't deserve any extra credit for the face you were born with, so other people shouldn't expect you to be grateful when they "reward" you for it. It's very presumptuous. But that's not how the people you're sick of will see it. There are a lot of men that will want to keep "rewarding" you for your accidental face, and then they will expect you to give them something back in return. You are never going to stop some guys from thinking with their d1cks. It's what they are.

Just avoid them; it's the easiest thing in the world to do here. Oh and also..... it IS an exercise in futility, trying to use your profile to tell men how much effort they should put forth in approaching you. It's every bit as futile as men expecting YOU to demonstrate how grateful you are for their tossing a few flatteries your way.... Do you see how that works?

You should be looking for the type of man who doesn't need a lot of direction because he isn't fukking stupid. So I think you should be okay with the idea that a lot of guys will be very quick to show you exactly what they're about; it saves you a *lot* of time. You're in the driver's seat.

"Why don't men make more of an effort"? Because they're looking for low-hanging fruit. Is that what you are??
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 417 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/6/2015 9:16:21 AM

I do not think there is any thing that marginalizes a man more than being told to go fight and die , especially when it isn't even for his country's s security .

You could have gone to Canada. I don't know why you didn't, especially since your principles are SO much higher than everyone else's. Looks like you assented to your own "marginalization" by signing up for it. But if that's what you really think of the time you spent serving your country, then you didn't really deserve to wear the uniform anyway.


Being a disabled vet myself all I can say about your marginalization garbage is a big F U .

Which is right in line with everything else you spout here like a broken record, so what else is new? Oh that's right, the feminists keep getting voted off the island but it only takes them 10 minutes to show up again. Because being evil gives them special powers and everything they say oppresses you, even though you've been ignoring them for years.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why Dont Men Make More of an Effort?
Posted: 4/6/2015 7:23:56 AM

All your profile shows is that you are a very beautiful girl who has no job and likes star wars.

I'm pretty sure that's damn close to the definition of perfect for a lot of men here.

DayTripLover, online dating takes a lot of time and patience for just about everyone, even the OP who is a beautiful young lady.... At your end, it's the problem of not getting replies but at her end it is the endless task of sorting through crap messages and aggressive verbal assaults. The net result is the same. Profile reviews are that-a-way, if you want to try making changes that will probably help --->

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum94.aspx
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Rate my looks?
Posted: 4/6/2015 7:11:37 AM

Could you elaborate on that?


You can exclude my attitude on this forum.

If you want people to exclude your shitty attitude, then you shouldn't be asking anyone to elaborate on "what they mean" when they suggest to you that it needs work. Meanwhile I'm willing to bet your attitude comes through loud and clear in the messages you're sending, just like it does in your profile. Might explain why so many women are ignoring you.

But if women's decision to ignore you comes down to your photos, then you should remove the crap pictures you still have because they aren't helping. Get a friend to take 20 pictures of you, hopefully half of them outdoors, and post the best 3 or 5.

As for the gangsta look, if you are concerned about how women view your profile, you should probably pay more attention to what people say when you ask them to look at it. Last but not least, you can't imitate what women do here and expect to get the same result.

Good luck with whatever changes you decide to make.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Can we remove the viewed me section?
Posted: 4/6/2015 6:35:10 AM

I feel like I'm repeating myself.

I'll do the same.

I'm gonna predict that this website isn't going to be updated just to save you from yourself.
If you don't like what you see here, stop looking at it. If for no other reason than your own peace of mind.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
I fell in love and had no choice (long-ish)
Posted: 4/6/2015 5:43:31 AM
You were flirting with some chick at the office and really getting off on it, but she got fired because she was just too fukkin apathetic to show up at work for 4 days, and then you couldn't even be arsed to pick up the phone. That's your story in a nutshell. Cry me a river.

But after reading your rapturous claims, you'd think she would have been there early every day or staying late just so she could spend a few extra minutes with you. I know that's what most people do when they meet someone at work they're seriously into. You sound like you'd be willing to crawl across cut glass for this woman. So why don't you pursue it if you were swooning all over the room and melting in her presence?

Oh that's right, you said it would probably end in disaster.

Ho hum, so much for true love!
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why Dont Men Make More of an Effort?
Posted: 4/6/2015 5:03:05 AM

Also, those responses you mentioned, do work for some. I have gotten messages from women that only had one word. You'll find that the more attractive someone gets, the more they can get away with not putting in much effort.

So you're saying that you're getting one-word messages from attractive women? Wonderful. Sit back and wait for it.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Can we remove the viewed me section?
Posted: 4/6/2015 4:49:34 AM

This website has single-handedly destroyed my self esteem.

This website is sitting here minding its own business. If you have a self esteem problem, why don't you fix it instead of blaming inanimate objects?


it's just the rudeness that bothers me. The worst thing is writing a long message about how much you have in common and them reading the comment, viewing your profile and then not responding. They're basically saying "You had me interested until I enlarged your photos and saw you're so repulsive, you don't deserve the time to write a polite rejection."

Since your self-esteem is already pretty fragile, what do you think you'd do if you received 152 explicit rejections instead of a neutral wall of silence?



I'm assuming he or she doesn't want to hurt the writer's feelings (or doesn't care either way) so why must we be alerted when this happens? I'd rather just stay hopeful until I forget I wrote the message in the first place. Of course I'd prefer a message saying "You're not my type", "Not interested" or even an insulting/ critical message but that really doesn't happen. Is there a way I can avoid being notified?

I doubt POF is going to reprogram its website just to protect the shaky self-esteem of one person. Online dating is not for everyone!
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why Dont Men Make More of an Effort?
Posted: 4/6/2015 3:53:50 AM

I've tried responding to some of the messages saying I'm not interested and they get very aggressive,

It's obnoxious, but good to know that right up front, before they're sitting next to you and pawing your hair.

You can also report their messages, and block them (in that order). Report and block, because if you block them first, it will delete all the messages. Or you can simply ignore them. That way, some of them will eventually make it to the forums to ask why no women will give them the polite rejections they demand.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I fell in love and had no choice (long-ish)
Posted: 4/5/2015 8:13:56 AM
Falling in love with someone is definitely a form of temporary insanity. Works in your favor (and the other person) if that stuff can be used as a bridge to forming an actual, lasting bond... not so much if things go pear-shaped.

I agree w/ Dee that much of this not only circumstantial, but (mostly) the stories we tell ourselves about it.


We were a great team, and our relationship was definitely growing. She was initiating some real flirting...
I even allowed myself the luxury of thinking that this could be one of those things where we both feel something quite significant

"Initiating some real flirting" is NOT something "quite significant", sorry. You weren't even close to quite significant although I'm sure it felt like it was definitely heading in that direction. There's no qualitative difference between the emotions one gets from actively conflating and the emotions one gets from experiences that are firmly based in reality.

I think you ran away with yourself on this one. And she was sympatico and said and did a lot of things to encourage it..... Two people running nowhere with the stories they were telling themselves about each other. Yes, it can be heady stuff. One day you'll fall in love with someone else and it will actually go beyond "initiating some real flirting", and you will forget all about this lil' incident.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Anyone seen that show Married at First Sight?
Posted: 4/5/2015 7:43:32 AM

That was a comment made by one of the experts about why people have trouble finding someone.

The initial premise that people have "too many options" is false. Therefore any conclusions they come to (for example, marrying someone based on third-party "expert" advice) also has to be false. IMO.


I think part of the premise is that a panel of experts, sociologist, psychologist, sexologist, and a religious scholar, may be more qualified to select a potentially suitable life partner also, the people they are picking from all also volunteered and signed up for the "social experiment".

I'm a lot more skeptical and I think the premise is more about greedy attention whores who are not only seeking their 15 minutes of fame, but using false authorities and a faulty premise false to get it. A real expert would teach these idiots how to stop acting out like spoiled, self-absorbed children. I know, that doesn't make for good telly-vision. But with the right kind of operant conditioning, it could be! Picture a scenario where they get slapped across the face with a white glove every time they say "I" and $5 every time they say something intelligent.

Besides, if these are people overwhelmed by faulty premises, then how in f#ck are they going to manage staying married to anyone when any lasting relationship is nothing more than a series of ongoing decisions based on the abilities of two people to think clearly like rational adults?


that desperation.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
 
My Online Dating Experience in 4 Years (Guys Pov)
Posted: 4/5/2015 7:06:50 AM
For those of us with a short attention span, here's the Reader's Digest version of what you wrote:


At the age of 18 I was deeply in love with my girlfriend, or at least this is what I had thought at the time. I was young and stupid, but we had planned to be married within a year and ended up breaking it off.

Me living in a state with a low population as well as little social activities I ended up joining Pof and at the age of 19. My last four dates has all consisted of long distance except for one. The next girl was my one local date in a while. The third date was a girl that lived about 3 hours away from me.

My last date which was one I had really high hopes for was with a model that was incredibly sweet and smart. I however had to stop talking with her so i let her know because it was becoming apparent she did not want somebody to just text.

So this is what it all comes down to. None of these 4 dates went where I wanted them to go either, a meaningful relationship. Now that isnt to say that out of those 100s of women only 4 responded to me. In fact my response rate is a little higher, but usually the conversations don't go anywhere.

So to sum things up with my experience I do think there is a few benefits for these websites, but I think for men you're going to have to be very patient if you refuse to approach women in real life.


:quietly laughing:
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 150 (view)
 
ADHD, Dyslexia and PTSD How to Deal with Someone Like This When Dating?
Posted: 4/5/2015 6:52:38 AM

Nor do I tolerate unacceptable behaviour, no matter how many friends that person may have. .

Unless it was CTRL vector. Then you will not only tolerate it but invent a lot of excuses for it. Meanwhile, even a the slightest whiff of a sarcastic remark from anyone else is enough to set off at least half a page of your displeasure. Interesting.


The point Im trying to make is maybe the reason Vector doesnt use hes foul mouth on me is because I adapt how I speak to him.

I see. Everyone else was doing it wrong!
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 115 (view)
 
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 4/5/2015 6:23:58 AM

I can only imagine someone sending out dozens of messages and not getting one response. imagine they would feel like a piece of shit eventually.

*SHUDDER* What if they get dozens of polite no thank yous??? Online dating is not for everybody.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 113 (view)
 
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 4/5/2015 6:14:04 AM

In real life, if I wanted to have a conversation with someone, I could just go to somewhere public, and likely strike one up.

Alrighty then. Looks like you don't need online dating with its "different standards".


On here, to even get a response, I would have to send tons of messages. And of the responses I got, what are the odds any of those people would even be able to have an actual conversation? Really, really low. One or two word responses appear to be way too normal on here.

Yeah but so what? What difference does it make when you can go out in real life and strike up a conversation with someone? The way people respond (or not) here will never be like real life; take it or leave it.


I don't mind be rejected if I know the reason behind it. I do, when I don't know.

Because at the most basic, gut level, they weren't attracted to you. Feel better?
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How do you determine when someone is trying to be helpful or being domineering/pushy?
Posted: 4/5/2015 4:42:21 AM
I don't know what it is. The other person could be wondering about the fine line between being wanting to zone out versus responding to what appear to be your frequent requests for guidance.

The whole thing is wide-open to interpretation and may involve factors you haven't even considered (e.g., your own reaction) since everything you're doing at the mo' is trying to interpret what he is doing and why. When you are 50% of the equation called "having a conversation about X".
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 122 (view)
 
ADHD, Dyslexia and PTSD How to Deal with Someone Like This When Dating?
Posted: 4/4/2015 5:28:18 AM

don't think CLV should have been banned (if that's why he's no longer on line?) but I do think he should have been warned that this behaviour is not acceptable.

He had been warned numerous times, sometimes on the same thread. I guess the warning weren't professional enough.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Knowing if this girl is single
Posted: 4/4/2015 4:16:06 AM

How can i subtlety ask if she is single or not?

Why do you have to be subtle? Oh, ok.
She could be very single and still not interested in dating YOU.

The way to be 'subtle' is to not ask about her status. There is no real way to be subtle about asking someone for personal information that *some* might think is nunya or too forward. "Excuse me, are you single? divorced? available? thinking about it? is that a glass eye you're wearing?"

Just ask her out and wait for the answer.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Unlucky
Posted: 4/3/2015 10:37:06 AM

Like me, some people are just not that lucky to have a long term relationship/meet the life time partner

How do you know you're unlucky?

You self-describe as being unlucky based on nothing but your thwarted desires. That's not really unlucky in my book. It's philosophically untenable. Ultimately, it's just whining. "I am unlucky because I didn't get what I wanted, based on an artificial script with an imaginary outcome. Poor me."

What is the point in measuring how unlucky you are based on something that never happened?

Maybe you're lucky as hell and just don't know it. It could very well be that the long-term relationship you almost had, or thought you could have had, would have died screaming and covered in blood. But you decided you're unlucky??? Based on what? What is the fukking point.

Unlucky would be something like getting diagnosed with cancer or getting t-boned at an intersection.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/3/2015 8:30:36 AM

Please allow me to live out my life the way I want it. Although I do really see your good intentions.

My pain is not that I don't meet women. My pain is when a letter gets erased before getting read.

Then you must be some kind of a masochist. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But if you don't actually enjoy your self-inflicted pain, a simple solution would be to post the words you need to get out in a place where people actually want to read them. Twitter, some blog site, the "creative writing" section here, et cetera.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 261 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/3/2015 8:03:01 AM

drive unchallenged legislative change exclusively for the benefit of women!!!!

Are you becoming a just lil' unhinged?? Wait, women have been spewing feminism "for centuries"??? LOL.
Naw. I'm pretty sure that as recently as 100 years ago, women didn't even have the right to vote much less drive any legislation in our favor.


And just taking your exclamation points at face value, I guess we should throw that Civil Rights shit right out the window as well. The nerve of those black people, demanding to be treated as equals.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 259 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/3/2015 7:48:53 AM

Following your logic henceforth, you have the belief that an civil engineer and a teacher should be compensated equally.

and why shouldn't they? Both jobs require the same about of post-secondary education. Are you saying that educating future generations is not important?

Because having a bachelor's degree in education is nothing like having a bachelor's degree in engineering.

Just like having a bachelor's degree in English literature isn't anything like having a Bachelor's degree in computer science.

And because the nature and demands of work itself between these professions is vastly different. And because the fact that educator salaries are in many cases lower than engineer salaries isn't actually making any kind of a value statement about education, any more than when the reverse is true it is making a value statement about engineering.

Good lord.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 254 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/3/2015 7:32:33 AM

So, if women are NOT being discriminated against due to the fact that they perhaps don't have equivalent experience or even talent for a particular position, stands to reason, the same would apply to men.

But it does apply to men.

There are probably even more examples of men not earning the same as other men in exactly the same position. It happens all the time. Why is it perceived as discrimination if a woman earns less than a man in the same job?

I don't know how to explain to you more clearly that a perceived wage gap based on gender is not in and of itself proof of discrimination.

And as another poster pointed out, if this gender discrimination were as true as you seem to be suggesting, then why aren't more employers hiring significantly more women who can ostensibly be paid significantly less for the same work? It doesn't add up.

Besides, most HR decisions are made by women, because most HR departments are run by females. So I guess the sistas are in on the conspiracy.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why someone will unfriend you on social media???
Posted: 4/3/2015 7:07:27 AM
OP, did you tweet about it in the tweetosphere???
You don't have to do anything wrong.
Your guess is as good as ours.
Easy come, easy go.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 247 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/3/2015 6:48:32 AM

Difficult for me to believe that in this day and age that anybody is STILL arguing against the fact that women are still not being treated equally...

That's not even what I said.

What I said was that the problem is over-stated and, in many many MANY cases, demonstrates nothing more than over-generalizing, a lack of understanding of what the data actually represents, how salaries for employees are determined and change over time, confirmation bias, possibly fantasies of persecution, or some combination of the above.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 245 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 4/3/2015 6:11:17 AM

@KJ.....We're closer to 70% at this point so it comes out to about 30 cents on the dollar less for women approx.....Sorry!!! lol

Maybe women's performance is 30% lower than their male counterparts in the same position.

I know this may come as a shock to you, but there are more factors than just the position description that determine individual employee salaries. I'm not saying that gender-based pay discrimination doesn't exist at all; I happen to know of one case in particular at a southern University that we were engaged in addressing a few years ago, but there but I have no reason to believe these gender-based pay inequalities exist in this country to the degree that certain people like to claim.

I just checked one of my salary surveys that compares the median salaries between male and female association CEOs; the gender differences are statistically insignificant and in some cases salaries for women CEOs are actually higher. The same is true in another survey I have for university personnel. What are we to conclude about all the women who get paid more than their male counterparts for the same job? That it's righteous? Or that it's reverse discrimination?

You can make any kind of hay you want about the aggregate pay differences, but until you know the actual circumstances of how those salaries are being determined and how they have changed over time, you don't actually have a discrimination case.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
nuances of first messages
Posted: 4/3/2015 5:19:11 AM

Here is what I find confusing, despite the points I mentioned above & my genuine attempts to invoke a dialog in a message to meet those points, there often arent many replies. Which I find somewhat flummoxing as I would have thought the 2 things would be like 2 fitting puzzles pieces.

Women want you (not YOU, personally) to write, but that doesn't mean they will see you (YOU, personally) as a bolt for their nut if you do.

Maybe someone else got there first.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Talking about past relationships.
Posted: 4/3/2015 4:54:00 AM
I do like the onion theory. Be careful when you hit one of those layers where you start crying.

"Don't talk about your ex".... is a general rule for first dates because a lot of people rush into dating someone new with a load of unfinished feelings. Eew.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What's not to like
Posted: 4/2/2015 11:46:28 AM
Meh, ignore the trolls. They get out every once in a while.

I really don't see a lot wrong with it, Brian. Maybe an over-use of the word "laid back" (not many will self-describe as uptight). Maybe be a lil' more descriptive about the kind of someone you're looking for, if possible. Right now it's very general (who doesn't like to "do stuff"?), but then again maybe you are not picky.

Your pictures are ok, except the one with you in a helmet isn't helping. You might want to add more when you have a chance. You'll probably get some very detailed feedback. Tweak your profile if you want, but I really doubt making changes to it (because it doesn't already suck) is going to make a noticeable difference for you. A lot of the profiles we see make you want to facepalm. You come across as a straightforward, honest guy. More than anything else, you'll need to be patient.

You haven't gone wrong; the lack of responses is normal. You'll eventually get some; just hang in there. Good luck.

(OT: I was shocked at how FLAT Colorado is... until you get to the mountains and then *BOOM*.)
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why someone will unfriend you on social media???
Posted: 4/2/2015 7:01:48 AM
So you had a random encounter with random people at a random social event, some of whom you randomly ignored, and one you added to facebook. Later, she randomly unfriends you.

Like
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 6:14:39 AM

Wishing what on whom?

Pfft. Backpedaler.


It IS just a little frustrating when you write to someone who states they're looking for someone intelligent and you pen a well-written message, it's just "dismissed."

Maybe the women you're writing to are sick and tired of explaining themselves to men who don't know how to take no for an answer without acting like whatever's left of their masculinity has been threatened. It's a lot safer to just ignore them. Sorry, we can't tell you apart from all the other men who gave us a ration of shit for turning you down after getting one of your well-written messages.
 
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