Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/31/2013 4:10:21 PM
I keep reading about "In the south" While it is true that Edmonton may be a tad to the west of you it is admittedly farther north, yet the consensus here seems to be the same as those below the 49th. Is it possible the issue is all in your head which causes you to have a proverbial corn cob jammed up there sideways, I suppose it could be your proximity to the centre of the universe that skews your outlook since gravity bends light. You keep saying location and context but seem incapable of recognizing that aside from the anomalous bubble that appears to surround you hon sweetie or sweetheart are the north American (canada and US) equivalent of bloke, chap, hinny or lassie. still the silliest thing to be offended over, I guess we could just go with "That broad over there" instead.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 11:16:48 PM
I think you forgot the most important part of the definition
exclamation: dear
1.
used in expressions of surprise, dismay, or sympathy....
but I digress.
You call it being disrespectful I consider it anything but. I guess it's contextually a result of the colour of glasses through which you view the world. yours appear to be a darker shade of brown than the ones I wear. Approaching someone you don't know with the preconceived notion that they are your friend and want to accomplish the same thing as you can only breed success, a brother or sister not by blood but through interests or purpose, an ally and an equal. I walk in to any situation giving that benefit of the doubt.

When you are in a relationship they are called pet names and holy craxpolly you better be more creative than sweetie or hon . There is a pretty clear boundary between the two for most. Sweetie or hon is an idiots pet name and calling the waitress pookie might just be pushing the limits a little bit.

Face it men are not offended by any of it unless it is downright contextually derogatory such as your little man/boy in the south reference you know exactly what the implication is there and feigned ignorance won't sneak past. Makes me highly doubt such explicit respect in every interaction. You say you are always more respectful of a man you don't know, i'll assume by that you say sir and mr and consider your bases covered, Pretty hard to make a mistake as unless he's post op it's always Mr. Reading this thread it can be determined that Ma'am is a no no leaving a guy a good 66% chance of guessing wrong on the miss mrs or ms which could be offensive to some. they can choose lady or woman but may or may not offend depending on the decision to place the word young in front of it.

Quite honestly your social interactions sound sterile and about as much fun as a rubber glove involved appointment at the doctors office. The next time someone asks you how you are today look them straight in the eyes with a great big grin and say, " peachy keen jelly bean, and how about you magoo. "
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 8:55:19 PM
It has little to do with geography, considerate and decent people are found in most places. Like eric said, in many ways and when used in context it is very much a throwback to a bygone era of happy and polite waitresses in checker floored diners, respectful gentlemen and polite folks. It has far more to do with your mindset than geography. Even your consideration if people in customer service use these terms to be condescending says a lot about how you opt to interpret the world around you. Really do you think hon, sweetie or dear is anything more than the feminine version of bro, bud, dude or man. Maybe go to the dictionary and look up "Dear". Aside from being the first word in almost every written piece of correspondence you will ever author it also means to hold in high regard.

In the grand scheme of things I hope you recognize you are on the internet being bitter about getting called sweet.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Calling you Sweetheart or hun or sweetie
Posted: 10/29/2013 7:41:18 PM
I can't believe it but I actually agree with cowboy, That is precisely how it should be used and something picked up from grandpa on how to politely address someone of the opposite gender whom you do not know well. yes it is very much in the delivery.

As men we choose to assume you are such things (sweet, dear even a darling) and for all those who find it offensive and voice such displeasure, don't fret as you can take solace in knowing that your attitude will result in you being referred to as a cu (M+1)t in the future, Considering how much the assumption you are sweet can be offensive to some of the contributors this should be most pleasing. It is after all quite accurate.

People offended by something so benign are the same group of folks who choose to be offended by a word instead of the actual intent of those words and are often found chasing some idiotic issue like renaming manhole covers to be gender neutral as personholes instead of actually doing something productive or positive with their "outrage". Please do express your dislike immediately, it greatly speeds up the process of disqualification leaving you on the same pile as literal thinkers, politically correct zealots and mouth breathers.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 160 (view)
 
Do you have a dating philosophy?
Posted: 10/22/2013 10:52:36 PM
A dating philosophy, that's the easy part. Know within your own mind why you are "dating" and be honest with those you involve. Be smart enough to recognize the other parties motivations.

You will never change someone elses purpose for dating. Especially the one they gave you right out front. Period. . If you are geared towards long term then seek like minded people. If you don't then do not get your panties (man or otherwise) in a knot when your attempts to manipulate fail. sillier still is coming here to post a thread about how you as a guy got friendzoned after blowing your wad... of cash... on some girl that just wasn't that in to you (if you where dating strictly for sport such occurrences of no "ROI" wouldn't really bother you since it's an occasional cost of doin' business and you wouldn't be bitter telling the world about it.)

girls do it too, they'll typically employ the kitty trap. being bitter about having "given up the goods" expecting that to act as a catalyst for him to "change his philandering ways" as it where; then complaining endlessly about how they got played.

BelleTresor is obviously dating for sport, there is totally nothing wrong with that, At times in my life that was the order of the day, go out and enjoy being active and social, but understand that being in the date for sport mindset you never fully invest in the other person and always maintain an upper hand in the sense you can "take it or leave it" which allows you to play the umpire and call the strikes. I can see all those hard and fast rules and demands being quickly dismissed when faced with the receiving end of twitterpated that requires some pursuit on her part. I would also warrant the guess that if she had that first second impression of "omg this might be the one..." there would be no mention of her casual dating habits because in that moment her focus may shift. this is precisely where paying attention to the other persons intentions comes into play. If in that moment she says nothing serious then the possibility of forever is an instant writeoff , permanently, no ifs ands buts or maybes. As a guy no amount of displaying my best features will change it.

I view every decision in life as an internal evaluation of value. one outcome vs another, cheating for example. do you value your current relationship or the idea of a piece of strange more. In the end it is always what the person faced with that question sees more value in. That said the description of her friends behaviour is disturbingly transactionary. Do the men being cycled in n out know they are a limited time offer. If there are misleading impressions being given and played upon for gain then it's not a very honourable way of going through life. Again if up front about it no harm no foul,

From a male perspective, In between the guys looking for relationships who will feel used by a woman in that place in her life (just dating) and those guys searching for the cheapest route to a piece of tail (the ones she endeavours to filter through and weed out) there is a large subset of guys who carry the same tranactionary attitude that would be happy to wear her like a cool watch or current fashion until it goes out of style, provided of course they see some return for investing in her time, they also maintain a very finite list of "how much of her c rap " he is willing to accept. It's a good bet that Among his group of peers she would be considered the sports model... (but remember nobody puts on custom rims to leave it parked in the garage)

I read endlessly about these men who believe that paying somehow entitles them to something yet seldom see women taking responsibility and throwing down a yuppy foodstamp on their own behalf to eliminate such possibilities and smile knowingly when i read other instances of women who have gone out with a guy a few times only to have him evaporate for "no reason" while completely overlooking the fact that their only real contribution to the process was to grace him with her perceived valuable time.

I will say i got a good laugh out of the suggestion BT be a lawyer, I always thought the purpose of arguing a position was to strengthen it not cut the legs out from under it. For a city girl she is extremely proficient with a shovel and has managed to not only disperse the whole manure pile but dig a pretty nice hole to accompany it. if the aim was to not look self serving and what can most easily be defined as "gold diggin" i'm calling fail.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Wandering eyes
Posted: 4/11/2013 11:20:43 PM
Ok I read the profile and can only assume "measure up" is a reference to three apples tall.

That aside op you are not this woman's friend. You are the greasy scorned friendzoned dude waiting in line for her to see you are not like the other guys who treat her so badly but are in fact her knight in shining armour I mean look how rock solid and stable you are. as a self described giver you don't really enjoy giving. you do however enjoy reminding everyone of how giving and "just looking out for them" you are . As for the multitude of beautiful women who you maintain this position with... unless you are actually networking these women and dating their friends then you are just behaving like every other mangina with no game. yup see above, rinse and repeat.

Leave this woman alone to meet a man she is interested in who can aid her in getting her sheet together. The fact you are here affirms that if this woman did meet a great man you will be the snake in the grass and have a negative impact on her life and future relationship. A man can not be a true friend to a woman he believes would be a suitable mate when she does not return the feeling, and vise versa. I repeat you are not her true friend you are working an angle whether you're man enough to admit it or not.If you are really such an altruistic giver go mentor someone you don't want to screw
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
boys and their toys
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:28:24 PM
Guys generally are not like women and don't have a friend randomly clicking pictures to give them that great array to choose from.

Truthfully we take pictures when something memorable is happening in life, the site itself tells guys to post pictures smiling and having fun. coincidentally that usually happens when they just tuned up and polished the hotrod or caught a kick azz fish. It's an acceptable "guy moment" to take a picture.

The one "photoshoot" I ever involved myself with; a buddy who is a good photographer wanted to take some pics of the custom paint I had shot on my bike. He snapped and edited a few frames that included me. On occasion I will leave up a pic of my summer toy. Like GTO above cars and bikes are my canvas and my art. I am not out to impress anyone with what the car actually is (78 pinto wagons don't generally draw a lot of lust unless you are a gearhead and look under the skin.. plus it acts as a filter. if the woman is materialistic she will go running from the scene, If she is embarrassed at the thought of riding in the pinto she doesn't get to graduate to the old mustang hidden in the garage or find out the winter beater is no slouch either ) But I invested the time and have sanded, painted, rebuilt cried and bled on every inch and part of the thing. It's a little bit goofy but good for a laugh /conversation piece and no matter what anyone says you can tell a lot about a person by what they drive and how they acquired it.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
wardrobe advice
Posted: 4/2/2013 10:26:41 AM
Pick a style and run with it. There is a huge difference between having a style and following the trends. this years trends are all skinny (ties, jeans, lapels. )which at 6 ft I would recommend you avoid, also skinny jeans on guys ... just no. They took the phrase getting into her pants the wrong way .... Upside is lots of cool stuff in the outlets from last year at screamin deals.

You are tall n trim so this will be really easy for you as an off the rack large 16.5/33 ish shopper. for casual wear get some nice shoes for sure a black pair maybe a brown pair. T shirts are rarely outerwear unless it's crazy hot out or your changing the oil in the 'stang. Jeans are a good place to start try slim bootcut or straight, get some variation from dark to light and some cool washes. avoid solid dyes they are boring. You are short enough to get away with 34 inch inseams and you're prob a 34 waist so your selection is huge.

Also avoid menswear stores labelled big and tall since it mostly means short and fat, the cuts on the shirts will not flatter in any way. I like button ups, there are lots of fun crazy patterns out there to work with.try mexx, ben sherman, banana republic etc With your build slim semi slim or tapered shirts are awesome. And for as long as it took me to get my head around it... Don't tuck the damn thing in. Ditch the hoodies/ballcap collection n just try not to go out of the house in jogging pants. Summer's comin if you prefer the v necks and insist on tuckin em in get a sportcoat to go over top. TBH the 80's thing is comin back so you could do the miami vice.

Don't overdress but always be mindful of where you are going and try to put yourself on the upper end of the spectrum for the location/occasion. Don't bother taking a woman with you to shop, be aware of the level you are trying to project and just buy stuff you like, If you don't like it it's just gonna sit in the closet. I don't think the style matters as much as the effort to take a little pride in it.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Wait....what?
Posted: 3/14/2013 10:56:35 PM
Browneyes, To be honest I don't think the testing ever stops on either side but agree with your assessment that it makes no sense or at the very least seems counter intuitive to eliminate someone based on them complying with a desire you expressed.

Zamboni,
"If both of you are the type of people that leap in the sack on a first meet, then you probably deserve each other, lol... you both sound off kilter". Nope you do a fine job of projecting your own thoughts I just opted to select simple concise words to paraphrase your implications.
WhiskeyRiver failed to read and understand just as you did, he at least asked for clarification where you assumed it to mean she immediately jumped in the sack. Pointing out you're not the only one doesn't make you any smarter or more correct. My perception seems fine as I was able to deduce all the facts with a relative degree of accuracy .

Totally appreciate your input via the pps but p.s those pics where done on purpose to be cheesy, not concerned with the fact there was some soap spots on the mirror. considering such a jarring observation comes from someone with an extensive profile and a selection of model quality pics it really adds to the impact of your weak little jab. The previous iteration of my profile even made reference to the finest bathroom shots available and played on it as one of the jokes But I guess your right, spotless mirror, spotless mind right. Oh and I assume Shakti just sent you a copy of the picture the last guy without a visible profile tried to pass off as himself.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Dating today... coffee dates and text messages
Posted: 3/14/2013 7:38:00 PM
I read your initial post very clearly and offered an interpretation for his reluctance to go full date on a saturday night and why he quit responding at that point. You can now confidently proclaim he doesn't mind the concept of something else as apparently communication has resumed but was it not a lack of response that prompted the the first post and "got you thinking"? I'm Ok with myself, so much so that I don't come and ask if receiving the invite via text is make or break in the acceptance of a date.

I believe you may be confused to the function of a pedestal in addition to the definition of underrated since I was in essence agreeing with Stubidoo and yourself that the movie date can be a useful and fun. Your diagnosis of jaded brings into question your understanding of the term but everyone gets their own opinion.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Dating today... coffee dates and text messages
Posted: 3/14/2013 3:13:58 PM
His reasons behind the choice of sobriety are his alone The reference to myself was only to demonstrate that people are able to exist in the environment without partaking or succumbing to the need to drink as probably 29 of 30 pub visits do not involve drinking.. Realistically nothing was stopping you from going to a pub/club and both having non-alcoholic beverages, dancing, taking in a band. In fact he may be interested in how you treat the situation. Do you follow his lead and respect his circumstance and not even have booze on your breath when he goes in for a kiss or do you slam 3 doubles and pour yourself into his car even though he is sober as a judge drinking water with lemon all evening. More importantly his suggesting it would indicate that he does not see the environment as challenging or a temptation to relapse ( really an important detail in the context of dating a recovering alcoholic. How will they handle social situations where the temptation exists, do they fall of the wagon, etc) Accepting the invite and observing may be a valuable vetting tool. Moreover he probably wouldn't be suggesting something he didn't think would be enjoyable. Personally, I try to make suggestions that leave me uncomfortable and miserable all the time, especially if there is a slim chance it will make a girl happy.

Go ahead and set us all straight the way you see it. I called his thought process behind not engaging in a detailed saturday night date with the suggestion he did not want to rush but you brush it aside with the reasoning that since he just triple S's n throws on his least dirty shirt where you spend hours trowelling on the warpaint, and since his day couldn't possibly be more demanding than yours there is no excuse. "All I know is that I DO NOT want to sit in a coffee shop again, or on a Saturday night." cause a saturday night in a coffee shop doesn't stack up to what a saturday night should be ... in other words not sexy enough... regardless of the reason for declining the sunday invite. He suggested something he thought you might like, You responded with something you knew you would like. Not something you thought he might like. See the difference.

Your suggestion of "something else" was no less than an attempt to shift it from a low key affair to something full blown.A willingness to "play it by ear" is important. (however at a minimum one should only accept a firm commitment to meet with a no later than type clause in the leadup) Incidentally.. if you would have replied to the effect of "sure lets get together and do some drinks and food", been so bold as to suggest "If we get going early or don't end up in a rush I'd love to see (insert movie here), I'll buy and promise to only poke you if you start to snore" he would probably have been less leery of going with it. As rockstar suggested this is all leadup preliminary stuff to do some vetting on his part. It might just be an attempt to confirm that when you get around to calling him "My boyfriend atm" you really mean "at the moment".. Showing some give with the take may have changed his tune.

As it stands the old dinner and a movie are underrated, It is actually advantageous to do dinner post movie since you will have a common experience to lean on if/when things seem awkward. Plus there are many details you can draw from in that dark room together. What was their suggestion and reasoning for picking the movie, do you share the same tastes? do you laugh, scream and cry in the same places? Do they "Get" the jokes? Do they end up so enthralled with the show they shush you when you make a comment in their ear?

Looking for advice or not, you opted to take what amounts to an observation about your dating world and give us a specific example involving yourself. Had you given a hypothetical male female interaction the interpretations would be the same only the names would be changed to protect the innocent. The only judgment being made is based on the details you provide and the subsequent reactions Since you don't wish to see the different translations of what you are broadcasting then the only acceptable "Input" would seem to be that which reinforces your opinion of "how things should be". Advice on the current situation won't matter as it has already been mishandled. Incidentally you requested this particular "input" in a forum titled "Dating and Love Advice" ... Just sayin...

If you didn't care to be judged or thought your position was without question you would not be looking for other interpretations. Is not the purpose of opposing viewpoints provided through feedback meant to cause one to consider the correctness of what they deem to be "a law of the universe from their point of observation."
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Wait....what?
Posted: 3/14/2013 12:37:34 AM
Igor is right to point out the control issue within that behaviour. Yeah he probably collects them n uses em for "inspiration". Also to show his buddies what he is, or plans on fn. If he's a sleazebag it Doesn't hurt to help keep the list straight in his mind and have a dirty pic pop up when you text or call. also some guys will use the tactic to see what kind of girl they are dealing with. Will she engage in the behaviour and send that kind of stuff to a virtual stranger. Does she have to take the pics or are they already in her collection? Now this dudes reaction of belligerence speaks of weird and controlling tendencies. I, like you have never understood the fascination with crappy cell phone pictures over the real thing either. I figure if she looks good in clothes why ruin the fun and surprise involved in unwrapping a new toy... incidentally the people talking about body standards are being a little more detail oriented with the word standards to imply preferred body types.

Zamboni you are being obtuse just for the chance to "call out the op as a slut"... anger issues much? everyone else understood her to mean not only did he want nudies but also full body shots and since they had met in person the op doesn't understand the need for these kinds of pics since he already knows what she looks like IRL. it can also be inferred she did not succumb to the request for pics as the conversation ceased when he got demanding. She also admits to thinking he was cute and if he had played his cards right he could have been the one taking the shots. Nowhere in what she said can it be logically deduced she slept with him, your implication can be considered a stretch at best.

Incidentally op, next time the demand comes up and they won't take no for an answer just tell them you don't have any boudoir shots but really want to take some "Next time". the dogs will sit, beg, play dead and walk beside you , no leash required cause they smell the treats in your pocket.

MrMe... don't be a clown. there is a big difference between letting someone edit a pic or sift through your facebook photo album vs your implied explanation they intend to make a nude collage of their new love interest with photos they request after one real life meet.

The above assumes you want a quality relationship of some kind so a pretty easy guideline to follow would be to wait on these things till he has seen it in real life then the reminder via pic either by request or unsolicited may be appreciated. if the demands start before he has seen the real deal assume sex and physical attributes are a higher priority to him than developing a good connection with you.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Dating today... coffee dates and text messages
Posted: 3/13/2013 6:16:51 PM
Let me get this straight... you met a guy who demonstrates interest, follows up and offers to take you out. Since his timing was a convenient day where he could get a proper rest, not rush and prepare for a date, but not the sexy friday or Saturday night full court press you deserve it doesn't "work" for you. He offers to make an exception and meet up for a brief get together on saturday even though he has worked the whole week including all day. Sure he will have to dash through a shower and skip the rest to show up at a reasonable time but hey why not. the suggestion of a drink/coffee was very apparent to mean something low key (setting the expectation that he may not be totally at his best/ have the energy to sit around for a dinner and movie/ stay out to party all night dancing the hours away) but you figure it should be something "More". If you where really interested in this guy you would have jumped at the opportunity to get together on saturday night regardless of what the suggested activity was. Instead you told him "I'm a big deal, when you wish to make grand gestures call me..." but can't figure out why he hasn't come back. hmmm I DUNNO. I don't drink either, this doesn't mean I never have an alcoholic beverage it means if i have to drive anything anywhere the line gets drawn at one (typically with some snacks) before switching to diet coke. Lots of the local pubs have decent food too . Pointing out that you are using HIS non drinking as the excuse should not be lost on you. I don't mind if a friend / date has a couple drinks assuming they display a reasonable level of self control in the process.If drinking was an issue for him he could choose to seek non drinkers or not suggest the option.

On to your second question texting... How is it any different from sending an email or any less impersonal than getting shuffled off to voicemail? It is a convenient way to communicate without interrupting the other persons day. As the sender I know I will not be disturbing something important, when you have time to retrieve me from your pocket and respond, great. Have you sent a voicemail or text to start a daily dialog or reiterate that you are looking forward to spending some time together?

As a recipient I don't care how the message gets delivered to me, voice, text, morris code, smoke signals.... if the interest is genuine and shared you wouldn't find yourself in a petty analysis of the delivery method. Could have been my dream guy if only he had called and asked me to cinderellas ball instead of texting...

Now as a caller, there are multiple issues. cell phones pose a whole new list of complications that contacting someone on a land line don't raise. First, you answer. Am i interrupting anything important at that moment?Is the damn reception even decent so one or both of us are not screaming into our phones repeating ourselves 5 times and still catching only every 2nd word? are you in a place where such a discussion is appropriate? (what is the expected etiquette with you? some folks are rather odd about their "Minutes" as well). Or you don't answer. Do I ask your robot self on a date or begin a game of phone tag? I can see where using the phone may work into the silly little mind games you play with yourself. OMG it went straight to voicemail.. Is he talking to another woman? pof forums please help or maybe.., It only rang 3 times before going to vmail and it normally rings 4. Do you think he chose to decline my call because he was on a date with some other hoe? POF Please help....

At the end of the day it doesn't matter. this contestant is not the grand prize winner and your second date with him is just a time filler until the next guy comes along. If he was right you wouldn't be debating either of these issues instead you would be looking forward to getting together for a beverage on saturday night.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Girl at my gym
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:40:15 PM
I'd say your odds are even. As the other posters said you will kick yourself if you don't take a solid swing but you already have her number and if I read you correctly she didn't respond or pursue that form of communication. You're 25 so she texts no doubt about that. I'd say give her a call on a day you have not and will not see her @ gym and suggest a non gym workout or some physical activity that needs a partner. If she says no and doesn't suggest any other get together you have your answer. If she accepts try to parlay it into an after activity follow up. Her flirting, Does she touch you and try to invade your personal space or does she remain confined to only the necessities of the exercise and focused on the task at hand?

Don't ask her out at the gym... she gets it all the time and has essentially told you it's not the time or place. If you ask at another time and she says no it will be much easier to brush it off and still let the gym be about the gym. If you ask her there and she says no every exposure to the environment will recall that memory and things may be awkward for one or both of you. So yeah ask away just not at the gym .

edit to below. 23-25 yeah saw it on your profile but when i went to respond the 25 got substituted. same difference either way you're 20somethings.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 440 (view)
 
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:04:14 PM
Zuglo, What has been established through this thread is that if you intend to use a coupon wait to until she has gone to the bathroom or walk up to the bar and make payment. Alternately it is fine to deliver it to the waiter UNDER your platinum card but NEVER ever on top. The above guideline can be followed if you intend to date someone who is shallow enough to let this factor into their opinion of you. conversely if you wish to eliminate those types of personalities from your dating pool then have at it and let your couponing freak flag fly... but only at half mast.



But did I miss something? I thought this thread was about using a coupon on a first date, not bashing others that are commenting in this thread.
As for dating being almost over for someone who is in their 50's, baby boys you guys have NOOO idea what you are talking about. I am 57 -OMG getting close to 60! I should slit my wrists! MY life has just begun and I am enjoying every day of it to the extreme max. You may be way younger than some of the rest of us, but you still have lots of garbage years to go thru before you get to where we are, whereas most of us have put the garbage years behind us and there's nothing but net in front of us.


JLynn, Don't take my poke at stubidoo to be anything but good natured. Again having read a number of his forum posts it is apparent that he comes in and represents the views of the old school gentleman, I dig those values and honestly wish they still applied as it would making understanding the dating world a whole lot easier. Both his and your join dates can provide an educated guess that neither has yet experienced the true scope and breadth of "characters" internet dating will expose you too. It is his thought process that is driving the Ford Flintstone not his physical self (as a side note if he is as in demand as he claims then this medium will provide him an opportunity for more first dates in a month than he has had in 50 years previous. I maintain that given a year his tune will change significantly with regards to both how tacky he perceives a coupon to be as well as who should be expected to pay for a first date which is another discussion where we do not see eye to eye.)Your outlook on the actual issue being discussed is most sensible and I would be interested in your thoughts on the who pays thread.

What I think you will come to find is that us young guys have a very precise idea of what we are talking about when these types of issues are on the table. there are very clear generational variances. Look, the older you are the smaller percentage of your dating life has involved the internet which has completely changed dating as a whole and it is you who in fact have no idea what you are talking about. lets work some assumptions here everyone starts dating at 15 and internet dating has existed for 10 years. at 57 and having been here a year of your eligible 42 dating years you have a whopping 2.3% of your dating life involving the internet. if you have done it for the whole ten years 24% of your dating life has had this option available. Conversely I am 35 if i have done this for 10 years a full half of my dating life has had this medium. As we get into people say 25ish the internet played a roll in their formative dating years as well. I will point out that the higher your percentage is the more likely you are to be aligned with the thinking put forth by those of us who have no need to impress a stranger with anything related to our wallets. Who do you think has a better grasp on modern dating?
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 415 (view)
 
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:39:55 AM
Petraeus, No need to be harsh with stubidooo, Judging by his join date I would say his modern dating experience is just beginning.The women in his demographic share much of the same opinion regarding the mans role in courtship.( especially true if they have been out of circulation for any period of time) It is quaint that he has these strong opinions on modern dating but likely hasn't done so in the last 20 years. His strong traditional values where formed when rainbows where still in black and white and while many of us can see and appreciate the mindset, it is his failure to recognize that dating has changed which keeps him so strongly held to these beliefs. Give him a year 'n see if he still stands by his statements.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Men: The Texting Ex
Posted: 3/6/2013 3:28:47 PM
Trying to analyze it after a week is fruitless. if the relationship had any emotional impact or investment on your behalf consider a week and a half for every month plus a month for every year over 1 yr that it lasted when trying to figure out your recovery or detox time.That is when they stop being the first thought on your mind when you encounter a situation or place you may have liked to do together etc. Texting and other communications only set back the clock. You are right to maintain radio silence. Once the detox is over you will be able to be subjective about your desire to still be together or if you just don't give a damn and would prefer to concentrate on yourself. you'll be over it when you no longer feel the need to have your kick at the dog statements on your profile...

His stating that he is not going to date is a sneaky way of controlling you. The truth is it doesn't sound like he has much to offer the general female dating population where you on the other hand will have your choice of options. Hide out with some video games, hang out with your friends and do the things that define you which may have fallen by the wayside due to restrictions (financial or otherwise) your last relationship may have imposed for the next few months. Don't jump into a new relationship to help you forget this one. Do this and the next guy will be a result of better selection on your part and be totally lucky to have you. There is nothing you can do to make him want to change. That desire must come from within and it truly only occurs when rock bottom has been reached. That point is different for everyone but do you honestly believe having you leave made that big an impact on him? Sadly for men in their mid 20's the loss of a girlfriend is probably not that life altering.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 394 (view)
 
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 3/6/2013 2:33:21 AM

Here is where coupons and a first date come in. Is this man trying to impress me or is he just settling. I'd not want him to settle on a first date. This is where he needs to woo me. I'd feel awkward. Did he take me here because he has a coupon or did he not find me nice enough for the place next door?

I want you to be impressed with my personality, wit , charm and manners, enthralled by my outlook on life , excited about the idea of coming along for the ride and including me on your adventures. An undeniable urge to wanna sit on my..lap doesn't hurt either. now if all of the above has occurred and the coupon kills it, we had far bigger issues comin in the future anyways. If it was palatable how the place was selected or funded doesn't matter. ( If it sucks you may end up with a remember how bad our first date was memory)You have to woo me too and a realistic expectation and attitude about money is a big part of it. Most divorces are related to one party having a different view of money management


If a dude is more concerned with saving a few dollars than impressing me, then go ahead and use the coupon. I will just assume you are struggling financially, and won't be interested in someone who hasn't established themselves by the time they are middle-aged.


To address part one see above... on to the 2nd statement. I think it is possible to spot several men amongst this thread who are middle aged, established, live reasonably within their means and have a commensurate level of gold to dig but no wish to toss it in a bottomless well and hope for the best. granted no fortune 500 ceo's but so few really are. So let's assume it's not all credit card ponzie schemes providing our "things" but realistic hard work and commitment. Is it not warranted to take reasonable precautions to ascertain another individuals intentions? He seemed so nice but just wanted in my pants vs she seemed nice but just wanted in my pants pocket. kinda the same deal no? People want to be loved for what they perceive is their core not all the stuff around it. What I own clear/owe on/ rent/lease and have in the bank are cards held close to the vest.

Look, the truth is stuff and money affects people and sometimes it is necessary to engage in active impression management. The girls at the gas station treat me different if it's the "winter beater (tm)" vs the work van sitting at the pumps. My summer toys include a very recognizable classic old car and another that is more ummmm offbeat. I can take them to the exact same cruise spot, same clothes same me same. same. and while the offbeat one gathers it's share of admirers the old mach 1 has a **** magnet in the passenger seat and it's turned up to 11. Confirmed with my own pseudo scientific methods. Guess which one gets the call for first date duties.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Oh boy just found out he is a Jehova
Posted: 2/19/2013 12:36:46 PM
If he was born into the situation there is a slim chance he is non practising or just doesn't believe the bull but usually JW men are quite happy with the way the world works around them so they continue the tradition. . If he took it up on his own accord or shows signs of being a practising, active member (honestly if he had turned away from it then he would have not made mention of being one) Run don't walk away from the situation. Everyone saying oh just give it a chance is totally clueless as to the dangers of what JW's represent and their experiences with the religion stop at some annoying door knockers on a saturday morning. The only example of a more cult-ish and controlling religion that I can think of would be the polygamist Mormon sects. Followers I am sure will deny the next part but the truth is it is a religion that makes the woman subservient to the man. Do not drink the kool-aid... They specialize in the soft approach when it comes to recruiting. I watched growing up as my aunt was involved with a JW and how the faith led to her being controlled. Watched her relationship with the rest of her family be actively blocked and denied as they where not members of the faith. Also witnessed 3 of her 4 female children run away from home as teens unwilling to be limited by a religion that does not encourage women to pursue higher education. RUN. It is also a religion with no middle ground, you can't kinda be a Joho, by it's very nature it requires the members to be extremists with their viewpoint. The above poster is right their doctrine doesn't allow moderation. You are being recruited with every conversation and smile. RUN.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Etiquette for Accepting Multiple Dates
Posted: 2/17/2013 2:19:48 PM
Oh I read it several times. You want a method to juggle several men , preferably one that doesn't upset them so they will be willing to try again when your schedule opens up. My "misogynistic projections" are just astute observations depending on which side of the fence you sit on. The facts remain. I provided you all the etiquette you requested or will ever need. Guy 1 gave you an indication that he was interested, proper etiquette would be to tell guy two you have tentative plans but will confirm either way.( or just decide guy 2 is a better deal and immediately tell guy 1 its game/date off after accepting date 2, but the aim here is you don't want guy 1 mad so he will come back around right but that is honest and obviously won't work) You flaked on guy 1 and will do the same to guy 1 round two when he responds that he just got your message and it sounds great, you can then tell him you already have plans since he didn't jump when you wanted him too. Making the decision to date one or the other is a fork in the road. ever heard the phrase you can't have your cake and eat it too...
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Etiquette for Accepting Multiple Dates
Posted: 2/17/2013 1:30:22 PM
Yup OP you are a flake... The first guy indicated he would be interested in conforming to your schedule and called the evening before to confirm that everything was a go. You where the one who flaked on him accepting a better offer because you thought it was more "Firm" and god forbid you waste a day off without a fish on the hook. If guy 1 had been more interesting to you then you would have told guy two you have tentative plans but could confirm the day of, or evening before if plans change thus giving guy 1 the chance to show his intent to follow through by confirming the day before. Question, Did you accept invite number two because the guy interested you or simply because it was a firm commitment to occupy your time? It is pretty apparent from this post, your history and your profile you are enjoying the attention being half way to your goal provides. Your an ex big girl who honestly thinks that now that you are physically attractive the men should just fall over you. (pretty apparent in your chosen title for the profile review) This post says you have no interest in a relationship and should probably stick with "wants to date but nothing serious" then you can flake and be self gratifying without the need to ask about "etiquette" The 2nd iteration of guy 1 has not even seen the invite yet and you are willing to ditch out with the justification of ya snooze ya loose. Do what you will just don't expect that when guy 2 ends up in guy 1's shoes that he will ever bother to call again so please when that occurs don't start a new tread asking why the guy you really like hasn't contacted you again after what you thought was great first date
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Texting rules
Posted: 2/12/2013 10:53:19 PM
Texting rules are simple really. Never send more than two unanswered texts in succession, don't expect instantaneous responses and never ever be accusatory or inquisitive about why it took so long to respond. You will once again see the grey haired set come out with their confusion about too many tiny buttons and that new fangled texting thing saying don't text, ooooohhhh scary/bad evil etc. . TBH I hated, hated texting until its true value was realized. You are an avid texter and should understand this 1. 160 characters can be enough to be hilarious , cute , charming, all those things. It is non-intrusive, Stick your phone on silent and it doesn't interrupt what is right in front of you. Your pocket vibrates and you can glance and respond in a free moment. Give a 4 hour give or take window for responses in most cases. It takes out the busy with something requiring immediate attention/ left it in the car/ jacket/ gym bag/ dead battery/ passed out on the couch bla bla bla chance that things where overlooked. The one downfall is the glancing read and intend to reply but get sidetracked situation which as a recipient, well stuff happens occasionally... there is a difference between occasional and showing a pattern however. this is texting in a nutshell

As far as this guy not responding until late. As the poster above stated correctly if he was genuinely interested the contact will come naturally. Now you could have handled your side of thing differently too. I will guess this was something where you put off your evening waiting for him to call and where antsy by the time you sent your "guess" text. The moment you started to feel anxiety about not getting feedback you should have sent a simple "Hey just wondering if we where still on for the evening, if i don't here from you by (T + a half hour) i'm gonna "insert activity here". Go do this thing and enjoy it. the frustration for sure stems from the feeling of putting your night on hold waiting for a response. The text is no different than a voice mail. In this particular instance you give no detail as to his reason behind no response. the actual reasoning may play a part in your judgment but I would say the interest is not what you where hoping for in this case.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Profile review - bring it on!
Posted: 2/12/2013 11:34:45 AM
Get rid of Steves words. Use some of the themes in your own self description. Your humour doesn't flow and does not work with the headline. Especially if you want her sitting in front of her computer laughing alone.

Your handsome/brown caption was funny on the one pic. That said use the kitchen table one as your main and get rid of the office space lookin' shot of you in a suit. Leading with it is especially bad, TBH my first thought was call centre (terrible I know...) and sometimes its a struggle to get a look past the thumbnail.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
not sure on what to change.
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:39:25 AM
that whole "being the way I am" thing at the end has to go away.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
the seriousness of women in this site
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:31:11 AM
Some are some are not.

If you are really looking for the ones that are your profile does you no favours. A review is not about changing who you are or what you are trying to say only suggesting more effective ways to say it. I would suggest a new comb, maybe one with a spelling and grammar check. Starts off with mistakes in the headline and other minor errors. Snivelling about not being on a date in a long time = bad. Really... the pose with the three backdoor er,,,, street boys in the kitchen is .... na, I'll just leave this to others to beat on.

There are say 10 % of profiles that are the equivalent of a grunt and ball scratch, 10% that are well executed and get positive responses and 80% that are generic and plain. where do you think yours ranks and do you really feel the effort you put in and the image you portray deserves the interest of a quality woman? Especially considering they have what amounts to limitless options.

Run don't walk to profile review and hopefully you can avoid the wrath of the local trolls in this joint who are about to bombard you with statistics regarding member ratios in your demographic, instructions to go ph uck something and lots of tall tales of their lineups of "gals" waiting to ride around in what I can only imagine is a replica of the A-team van or possibly a trans-am with scanning leds in the nose.

Good luck man.

OhSix'
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Receiving mail
Posted: 1/20/2013 1:35:55 PM
the system doesn't loose mail. It does apply filters to all messages and there are some odd keywords that it will pick out as illegal . If it sees these words it will not actually send the message even while claiming to have done so. The only way to see if your message actually sent is to check the sent message folders and confirm it is there. I know the F word is totally out of the question as it was in a joke i was using a while and would not send unless it was *&^%'d . It may be an alert related to an above type message that got deleted by the system. Do you do a username search and find it from active profiles? If they are no longer active it was just a scammer that got caught and all their crap deleted.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Female wanting friends contradiction....
Posted: 1/19/2013 2:03:23 PM
Are you really seriously that inept at translating the internet that you have to ask this question? "Friends" is the polite way of saying intimate encounter or "if we Fk it will be on my terms and only once you have been judged worthy" Look... Friends is an option given for the women so they can avoid the "stigma" that is attached with IE on the site, enjoy all the benefits and not come off looking like a s1ut. Remember they where not looking for sex it just happened, in addition to providing a simple "Out" . It also does a good job of exposing the men who intend to try and sneak in the back door on the premise women will totally want them once they see what an awesome guy he really is.... The only bovine fecal matter easier to smell than the claim of looking for friends is the "here for the forums" smoke some will try n blow up your keister. Train your translator to filter the bs and you will have an easier time.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
review
Posted: 1/10/2013 11:52:59 PM
Look, If they don't contain penis pics, outright sexual advances or are not just simply lazy in their message or profile execution it can be assumed a pretty safe bet your profile was actually read. Demanding a secret word to get past the gate of admittance is juvenile. If their profile resonates with you and the communication is respectful and intriguing then you are doing yourself a disservice by not responding. For example. if i had messaged to the effect of, "hey I saw your profile, That was a cute "ted" reference but you will have to battle my doggy for the title of official thunder buddy since she really hates storms, bla,bla,bla" does it get discarded since it doesn't contain the secret word? The act of identifying someones motivations and filtering doesn't take that much effort. That said , yeah your main pic will draw in the oglers, put up the 6th one as your main and take the current one down completely. The rest do a fine job of showcasing an attractive young lady. Other than that... Ya jacked my joke but I'll let it slide. :P

OhSix'
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Critique My Profile
Posted: 1/8/2013 9:56:12 AM
Haha Funny headline, good first date joke.
The wine bottle in your main is doin' you no favours. Also find another picture that has just you for the main. the captain morgan on the table with your buddies, make this one and the one with the girls in it go away.

I personally hate travel discussion. Seriously in the real world everyone has jobs. The talk of travel being so high up on everybody's list is just trying to making them appear adventurous and worldly. here in NA we average about 3 weeks vacation a year and I often wonder where all these jetsetter profiles I read find the time and money to accomplish such things. If you want to incorporate travel talk about your last trip or the next one you have planned and are saving for.

The body of your "about me" reads like a classified ad and displays no personality, does nothing to describe the type of woman you seek and is generic to 99% of the male population here.

Re the last line. If this is all your giving , You won't get much in return.
KCFO

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Profile Review Please
Posted: 1/7/2013 5:44:10 PM
Use the picture with the toque as your main. It is most recent, you look vibrant and youthful, the hair colour works. A full length standing shot would help in the mix

The whole don't want to jump into a relationship . it's cliche. People don't ease into relationships . There is either that spark and you pursue it or you don't, furthermore you are either someone who will give each potential forever a chance and not be sleeping around or bang em all while you wait for the cream to rise to the top. Saying you don't want to jump into a relationship just makes a guy question which route you are going. The way you state to just date means "I"m droppin you for the next best thing" You are honestly either here for a relationship or a muffin stuffin' There is no in between and nothing wrong with either. If option B is what you seek and you happen to find someone where one becomes two , three etc. great . Own it. It is called FWB.

I would nix the mentions of paid off on your profile. All the world needs to know is you are capable of meeting your commitments. (personally I prefer anyone I first meet to look at me as a break even proposition at best if gold digging was an intent.) you can work in an expectation of the same.

The whole bit about babysitting issuess. way more tactful to say that you are in a place in life where you have raised your children and aspire to enjoy the benefits of their self sufficiency. restating the road trip on a bike weekends works too. It sends the message you don't want young kid complications. Little things. Less hyphen , more comma and it' spelled KarAoke if you intend to be sticky about spelling from potential suitors. You want funny but how is a guy supposed to judge what level to start a joke at. Give an example of what is funny to you.

The whole picky about text thing... Embrace it, quit complaining. Especially if you want a rider. We can read a text at a stoplight or zipped into a parking lot but it's a pain to answer a voicemail. Plus it's evident you are cub hunting with your age restrictions. Welcome to the new world.

For women here it is far more a case of being forward and honest about your expectations and what you want.
KCFO

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Ladies input requested.
Posted: 1/7/2013 4:06:52 PM
2nd pic is your best one.
Headline, No... Just no.... Upbeat and about you. Make a statement.

get rid of "Want some free Concert tickets, ladies?" and "For all the ladies who are wondering what has happened to all the good guys, well you just found one. Don't believe me? Then please, talk to me. Get to know me. I try my best to treat my girl like she is a Queen. I don't mind spending money on dates. " make it go away right now... same with everything leading up to "I work in radio broadcasting"

"I prefer that you don't use drugs. I am not a drug user (never have been) and would prefer my girlfriend to not be as well. Ladies, if you like what you see so far, go ahead and send me a message. I don't bite ;)" this is unneeded and can be dealt with on an individual basis. also just set "must not use drugs" as a restriction. it sends all the message you need it to.

"I am looking to make friends with girls, and see if anything more develops. " No you are not... You are hoping to find a woman you are attracted to who is worth investing in a friendship with. not the other way around. Do not dance around the issue. Expand your interests. add something with universal appeal. Take everything you have written and rephrase it with the notion of how can the "I" be eliminated. The sentiments are fine but the phrasing is awful.

in your first date... Don't solicit suggestions. A man always has a plan and a woman will tell him if it is wrong. the man will adjust accordingly.
Good luck on the revisions.
OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Profile help please!
Posted: 1/7/2013 2:31:10 PM
For an average guy with an average profile a hit rate of 1-3% is totally normal. 10% or better makes you a superhero When you start getting unsolicited first contacts you will know you got the profile "Just right". keep messing with it until then. what you have is exceedingly average.. It is generic and not memorable in the sense I had to go and reread it several times while thinking up this response. The "this is what I look like "thing with all the picture comments. Initially kinda cute, gets old by the 4th one. There is some work to be done on the text too. Your whole description about travelling the world seems like you are on the next thing smoking once you get a diploma with no determinate plans. No one wants to invest long term in the potential to be left high and dry. Talk about your post school real life plans. Do you know where you might want to live? The last line. I know you are trying to say. you don't have a timetable and don't want to force things, just have it develop organically but it adds to the wishy washy.

The goofy hat photo will generate the most click through action as a main. Yes you have a hat on but you are smiling, your eyes are bright and it looks like you are having fun. That is a good thing at least there is potential they will see what is kinda a funny headline and possibly decide to read further. Sarcasm is great, how about an example. avoid mention of self-depreciating humour, It projects low self worth. also nix the " you may think i'm an idiot" line. Overall it looks like you worked from the basic template of " talk about your hobbies, taste in music bla bla bla... Nothing great has ever come from following convention. put some personality in it. Write as though you are talking to someone. talk about her in specific generalities.

You are gonna get lots of opinions about what works for a message. Personally I think you are going in the right direction and at least trying with more than "Hey" The truth is out of 10 messages a woman receives 6 will be of the "Hi or hey baby " variety. Others who have written a "personal message" will have asked for further elaboration about some specific detail that has been listed. Yawn.... how many times do you think a photographer has said. " I shoot landscapes, fashion, nightscapes.... etc. also nobody wants to explain themselves to a layperson unfamiliar with what they do." You could have gone more the direction of " I too enjoy photography, Been practising the craft for the last X years and really enjoy shooting ______ . xyz is the next technique I am working on mastering. Which leads me to the controversial question... Nikon or Canon?" (this is hot button and even the hobbyist will argue for hours over the merit of their choice. It also moves you from the realm of observer to participant by going below the surface.) The taekwando girl. Didn't see the profile but if the kick in the head thing was where you wanted to go you coulda started a little more accusatory. more "taekwando classes... Sounds like an excuse to kick some butt." . Insinuating she can make all the little boys cry would be another good way to go.

As someone mentioned before Yes copy and paste can work... but only if you are capable of generating something that is a compelling read with universal appeal which can illicit a response and open the door to a conversation. if done correctly all those above who "hate" c/p messages won't even know it is.

try this out. make one or two observations about something in their profile then pose a silly question.
Which toe is your favourite and why?

Some others are ... well I'm just not gonna tell you. I'll leave it up to you to think something up. (no matter what your dumb question may be, be prepared to answer it yourself when it gets turned around on you. Have an answer and back it up logically even if it is total BS. also make sure the question calls for elaboration and can not be answered in one word. whimsical not deep.)
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Humbly asking for a review
Posted: 1/7/2013 12:05:41 AM
Your 2nd pic is unflattering to your jawline from the angle. Get a few more that have you dressed up for friday night sharp.

"The girl I’m looking for is calm and collected with a curious and inquisitive nature. Open minded and fun-loving, she can “geek out” with me from time to time, but is capable of being a true partner in crime. Up for whatever is going on and interesting, she is intelligent and confident, but down to earth, warm and approachable. All these things rolled up into one is a girl I’d like to invest some time getting to know better. Does this sound like you? " Awesome.... Change girl to woman and put this first. follow it up with jumping right into "the first thing you will notice" Talk anbout your job if you want but nix the part time thing as its just tmi up front and you don't want them thinking you might be unemployed next week.

Add some of your more female friendly interests, something to help bridge the gap. Anything you may dabble in is probably fine.

You have written in a way that shows thoughtfulness and comes across in a genuine manner, I read it and thought. "now that's an easy going dude" . Also having avoided negativity throughout is a great sign right from the start. Getting people to respond to an online persona is tricky to nail down. Throw in some more "you" through a though joke, anecdote, work or hobby related life experience etc. Just a little more specific example to flesh out some of the generalities.

The headline is bland. You're an archaeologist, Even "Carbon Dating" would be better and even I know that is terrible as it is almost 1am and my brain isn't churning out anything witty right now.

There is lots of good stuff to work with it may just take some playing around to focus it just right.

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Hey, how is my profile? Which picture should be my main?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:31:47 PM
I would say the last picture with the white shirt, clean shave and smiling should be the main one.

In your efforts to not have your profile look like anyone else it ends up being just like everyone else. I, I'm,I,I,I, etc. Your bit about leaving the military and some of the description of the stuff you did is good. The seeking part is generic as everyone thinks they are honest and funny. Want your profile to be different... Review the competition, see how low the bar is really set then aim high. Don't steal a profile but it doesn't hurt to model it after one that you think is good. take a gander at mine, also do a username search for soulman_50 . Start the whole thing with an affirmation statement that is positive and upbeat. All in all read it to yourself. does it feel like a classified ad? " '79 Caucasian. easygoing, clever and romantic. Runs best on leaded. " If it does you're doin' it wrong.

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Input / Constructive criticism appreciated
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:47:14 AM
Here it is from the horse, You choose which end....

From the headline on down "Nice" is the kiss of death in a self description. change it before anyone else sees it.

You said some good things about yourself but it is boring in a grocery list kinda way, displays little in the way of personality. (you mention sports but say nothing about "your" teams or brands, eating out but no preferences, what is your favourite? etc.)

you have no interests listed.

Pictures. Smile, full body.

you have travelled. tell a story about the coolest place and adventure you have been on.

You have nothing about who or what you seek.

There are a million billboards on this expressway, better add some flashing lights if you wanna be seen and remembered.

OhSix'
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
HELP WANTED
Posted: 1/4/2013 8:16:52 AM
so much better now than it was man... Still think the bold part at the end is a bit much but you did a fine job expunging the negativity . You will get much further with what is posted now vs when you started out. in the first paragraph you have "with his life in order and knows what he wants... and you enjoy travelling " just in terms of readability loose the first "and" replace it with a comma. All in all though... a serious improvement, Nicely done.
Good luck

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Please, an honest and constructive review of my profile
Posted: 1/2/2013 10:56:06 AM
move the 2nd paragraph to the top. It is pretty good. As suggested rework the first part about the kids.

The headline isn't really working for ya. There are lots of happy people here. Some are just looking for the icing to the cake...

The seeking part is rather generic and does little to narrow the field or help a woman identify "Hey that is me to a Tee" Describing the qualities you don't want is futile. when was the last time you saw a profile that read "I am a cold, judgmental, self-absorbed liar" ? Use affirmation statements. The idea is you want the reader nodding their head in agreement not shaking it saying "Well that's not me" as they progress through the read.

for your first date just mention your preference for casual and not overly formal. Women like to dress up and feel beautiful and truthfully we both know the girl in the red dress and pumps is getting more of your attention than if she showed up in a jogging suit, nikes and a pony tail. That said it's sorta a given that you won't be picking her up in your finest bond-esq tuxedo for a first date anyways.

finally add a few more pics.

Remember not to start messages with Hi, how are ya. Wanna chat or anything commenting on her beauty and you should do just fine. good luck.

KCFO

OhSix'
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
POF selling our email addresses??
Posted: 1/2/2013 9:37:18 AM
Have you ever heard the phrase. "If you are not paying for the product you are the product"? pretty self explanatory on a free site...

here's a plan. go over to match and get out your credit card. that way instead of just emailing you offers it is much easier to extract the $'s from your wallet...
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
HELP WANTED
Posted: 12/31/2012 2:26:10 PM
ha Dang me too lolz. i guess his smart assing wasn't up to snuff. As a side not OP since you where kind enough to post that pic of your daughter and all her vital statistics. Let her know I have an exercise program in mind to help rid her of that extra 9 lbs .
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
HELP WANTED
Posted: 12/31/2012 1:29:40 PM
Normally I resist the urge to play whackadouche in these forums but apparently you are a bit slow and don't do subtle well...

Ah ya man you got me... i mean you are totally on the button with the fact i'm green with envy over a 50 year old with about as much class as he has displayed style. But you are right the 6'4" 195 lb average me is totally intimidated by your 50 year old slob shaded "athletic" ass. Lets get real here, online is a while new ballgame ( one you would not be familiar with as it didn't exist when you where young and rainbows where still in black and white) As a simple challenge I will say this. Find TWO women participating in these forums that think your profile is executed better than mine. I'm not gonna hold my breath... Do tell, why is it that you where not able to hang on to one of these miss too hots that you brag about. Did you run short of cash or just spend enough time with them that they discovered a wallet is all you have to offer?

Pointing out that this is a profile and you are not given an opportunity to clear up any misconceptions with someone who reads it seems redundant as apparently you are really really good at this....(well you can but it would require them to respond in some manner which apparently isn't happening for you)

Saying you where the gc and made all the decisions adds context to the house photo. you might want to incorporate that into the profile.

You are correct that we run in different circles. I am gonna go and do some laundry for my date this evening, I suspect you have a grand new years plan as well... Taking passes at the palmala sisters until one says yes... I am sure miss usa was thrilled to stay with you the other night. Since you had misplaced your viagra she felt totally safe and you sorta remind her of her grandpa.

Enjoy the new year DB&A.

OhSix'

Hapsworth I see your size zero and raise you a D cup.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Hello - please review my profile
Posted: 12/31/2012 3:31:59 AM
Pretty damn good. Thought maybe your main pic wasn't the most flattering option you have up already. This is one of the best profile executions seen i have seen in this room recently. the only things would be throw away the first line about chat. its a given. And women won't cold call chat you here period. Take out the I look younger stuff. dude we are in our mid 30's with the right clothes n hair sometimes we look late 20's but the truth is most days we look mid 30's. roll with where you are at. BTW nice touch with the joke at the end. Everybody claims they can be funny, You proved it

KCFO

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
HELP WANTED
Posted: 12/31/2012 2:04:11 AM
Ok here it is sans sugar coating. the previous poster is right about the sunglasses in mouth pic making you look old. the sunglasses in truck is actually a decent pic of you au natural but probably not ideal as a main. The postcard pics are pointless as everyone knows what mexico looks like. More important if you took the shots it will not be lost on women that there is a busty young lady in one of them. and apparently your the old dude on the beach with a zoom lens. Same with the house pictures as unless you are the builder it only advertises your proficiency with a mastercard (ohhh an 19 rooms that's so impressive my panties just got wet...)

the first and third paragraphs are ok-ish. and the fifth one as well, right up to the cliche crap about the girl next door. The last paragraph. everything before the statement about life is what you make it is trash. The only usable item would be your knack for chance celebrity encounters. If you think bragging in bold is gonna be the right bait in this pond you are very very wrong.

finally dude you are 49 and average at best not athletic. you will not be gettin any action from no 28 year olds so your minimum age is redundant and the fact you block contact from women that would be the same age or a couple years older screams to the viewer you are dilusional and think you deserve some hot young thing.

take it as you may YMMV.

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Approaching women in bars/clubs
Posted: 12/29/2012 11:02:38 AM
actually the mechanism for introduction is located on your face just slightly below your nose.... Buying a drink for someone you have no prior interaction with advertises that you don't have enough belief in your own value that she would " get something" from just interacting with you

I love guys like you, really. You always have a tell as you work up the courage to approach a woman. Have seen in a thousand times and used it to my advantage on more than one occasion. Identify who they have fixated on and approach her with " that guy over there is about to come and hit on you, when he offers to buy you a drink remember I am drinking bud lite." turn around, return to your table and wait. I can affirm that guys of the "let me buy you a drink variety" have gotten me good and loaded on many an occasion. But please, Buy as many drinks as you can afford. That way you can go home drunk, broke and alone instead of just drunk and alone.
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Does this profile make my ass look fat?
Posted: 12/29/2012 10:29:22 AM
Look man. you asked for the profile review, What you are seeking is not unreasonable... The way you worded it doesn't work in cyberspace... end of story. take negatives and make them positives, try reading what you have written from a female perspective. I'll tell you right now that your profile will not generate much response and never an initial first contact from women. period. Take the advice or leave it , Doesn't really matter to me.

I do however predict a new thread you will be starting in about a month that says "I have sent out a hundred messages and never get any responses, What am i doing wrong"
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Approaching women in bars/clubs
Posted: 12/29/2012 10:17:03 AM
So... You where sitting alone in a bar not crying in a corner.... That kinda teletypes "hit on me" the fact is buddy could have let you pay for your own drink and made as much headway walking up and saying " Hi , im xxxx" there is no need to "purchase" the rights to 5 minutes of someones time....
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Does this profile make my ass look fat?
Posted: 12/29/2012 9:59:57 AM
these two lines gotta go.

If you're unable to joke around or have a good time, I don't have time for you. No matter how cute or hot you think you are. (negative)

I do what I want when I want...but you probably figured that out already.( i figured out you will be doin it alone if you leave this line)

Yeah you are right that it would be nice to be able to provide the substance after you have peaked their interest but the truth is this is the interweb, There are lots of women window shopping and if your profile can't help them put little checks in the box on their list of "must haves" it will get you nowhere.

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Approaching women in bars/clubs
Posted: 12/29/2012 9:46:51 AM
There are a million ways to go about this. The biggest hurdle is you gotta take your balls out of your purse. DO NOT Ever ever ever buy women drinks , especially the cheesy "have the bartender send it over" crap that was suggested earlier. Sure they may smile as they raise the drink and "thank you" but that is as far as that interaction will ever go. You will never succeed if you go up to the group and only concentrate on the girl who you are interested in and the odds of her willingly walking from her friends with just your approach to motivate her is slim to none unless you resemble a movie star.

You will have to build some rapport with the entire group before the others will release their "protecting out friend from wierdos" mentality. Never get into why they are at the club or "do you have a boyfriend" questions. Opinion openers are a good general place to start. walk up to the group and start in with something like " That 50 shades of grey is sure popular these days and I am tempted to read it. I'm curious if any of you have. Are there any good tips in there for a guy?" or (assuming there is someone dressed loudly across the room. ) try ... Wow that is a really pink shirt that guy has on. What do you ladies think, would that be a good look on me? Should I go out shopping for one?

depending on your level off hutzpa, and your ability to deliver a line in the appropriate manner. you will be shocked in how successful something like walking up, concentrate on one of the friends and say "which one are you?" she will invariably say "which what" address the whole group and remark. " In every bunch of girls there are is always one wooohooo girl and one designated KawkBlocker... I have my suspicions but just wanted to see if i was right... So, who is tonight's designated cb anyways?" it is amazing how quickly the friends will out the guilty party. When a whole table swivels and points at one girl it really is funny as he11...

The point here is you can't just cold call for a dance or whatever, you have to have a starting point and engage the group. once engaged with the whole group It is now easier to say something like. " oh this is a great song, come on, let's go dancing" or " I need to grab myself another beverage, Come on. " proceed to separate her from friends and change locations giving you some one on one time. Use strong affirmative statements. "let's dance" instead of " Would you like to dance"

there will be a whole bunch of women, well and men too who are going to tell you this stuff would never work but the truth is 99.5 percent of operating in a club is confidence , body language and delivery. The actual subjects being talked about is less than 0.5% of the process. The truth is you will suck at this for a while and will end up saying something that blows you out with the bunch more often than not to start. Go out someplace that you normally don't frequent and practice lol.
Hahaha as far as the "classic PUA tactics" mentioned above , What is a pick up artist other than someone who is skilled at initiating an interactions in a favourable manner.
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Funny profile typos
Posted: 12/28/2012 5:09:33 PM
There is no point in eating around the bush. Come to think of it, didn't bush go out with the 90's
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
please review my profile and my point system for men
Posted: 12/28/2012 1:47:30 PM
well.... I was working on a perfect 150 points until it was revealed that we don't see eye to eye on what constitutes "awesome brownies" .

The insinuation you believe in regular oil changes really ought to attract plenty of men . ;P

Pictures are for the most part fine, I do hope you washed your hands after playing with that camaro...
The pink 'stang, Is it yours? Some context would be great.

Small things. "Build my business" screams amway ,epicure or pampered chef. Right or wrong anyone who has ever had an MLM experience will identify that point. Three kids tells guys that every meet will be a game of musical schedules. Is the oldest capable of babysitting their siblings to give mom some free time? Is there family close buy that will happily accommodate. Shared custody? Can you claim every 2nd weekend is yours to do with as you please?

The biggest thing, While not in your profile is the phrase "can you keep up" . Are we talking foot race, drag race, intelligence or humour? No better way to turn off a guy, period.

Your point system, Yeah kinda cute in the sense it is at least "different" Incidentally though... as an arrogant pothead I still end up on the plus side... Do I win?

Hope some of this is useful to you or at least worth consideration.

OhSix'
 ohsix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Does this profile make my ass look fat?
Posted: 12/27/2012 10:24:40 AM
Pretty funny...
Good headline, nice pics. lose the 2nd one with the kid.

A lot of what you have is really good. Maybe missing some substance though.

Don't blame the profile, It's usually the ass in it that is the root cause.
 
Show ALL Forums