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 Author Thread: What now? What next? What do you think?
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What now? What next? What do you think?
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:52:45 PM
Thank you all for saying it like it is without sugar coating it. And sometimes hearing your thoughts and from people I don't know can be of great support. I emailed him and told him, he was a jerk, and when he said at least I know your real, I told him oh Im real, Real mad and insulted. He went into hiding and I dont think he will be coming out. Hopefully none of you will have him as your plastic surgeon. .... he was a heart surgeon and I can see why he changed to a plastic surgeon. Again thanks for reminding me how stupid I can be...
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What now? What next? What do you think?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:33:20 AM
I met a man online about 2 years ago. We clicked by things in common , chatting, both attracted to each other. I have always had this gut feeling about this man that if and when we met that we would be a great match. I have never felt that. The first we spoke on telephone was the last for a long time, figuring out that he didn't like my raspy voice, which most people always question me by asking if I am a smoker, which isnt the case. The voice just doesnt match the face if you havent met me and have spoke with me on the phone first. I spoke to him about this and let him know I thought it was a little shallow. He finally agreed to meet with me. It was like I was a schoool girl again the day I was to meet him. He had me pick a place, so I picked a perfect place that was beautiful , romantic and a view to die for. I prepared all day what to wear, making it just perfect. 10 minutes before I was supposed to arrive, He called an d left a message on my voicemail to call him back. I tried to call but his voicemail came on. I arrived and there wasnt a single man there. I waited and I called and nothing so I left after a half hour, I wasnt very happy after taking a hour to drive now it was foggy dark and another hour back. I was not happy. I emailed him when I got home never talking to him that night. 7:00 the next morning he emails me, saying he was so sorry and that we were going to meet and that it wasnt our night to meet, he was worried and that he at least knew I was real. At that point I couldnt figure out the part about knowing I was real, I knew that I was real mad, The whole thing didnt make sense until I put it all together. That night at the resturant he was there. Sitting straight toward the door I entered but he was sitting with another guy and I really didnt pay alot of attention to them. His hair color was a little different. They left about 10 minutes after I arrived. He wanted to see me first and make sure I was the person in the picture but I think that was way low. Letting him know I figured this whole thing out by email, and now he wont talk with me but yet the day before his email stated that we were going to meet and he was glad that we were finally going to. He won't talk to me is it because of his pride, he doesnt know to say, if anyone shouldnt talk to him it should be me. Why do you think he wont talk to me now, will he ever talk to me again? What should I do? This man is different then any man and I dont know what it is but I have to meet him.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Any women willing to admit having had great sex with a married man?
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:37:18 PM
I would never admit to having great sex with a married man because I have never had sex period with a married man. I will admit I had great sex with a unmarried man. The way I see it I wouldn't want another woman having sex with my husband if I was married so why do it to someone else. There are to many people in this world to have to go for a married man he is taken.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Meeting the man of my dreams Do you have advice?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:47:02 PM
excuse me mister I am all woman its difficult to see that you dont know what you talking about who asked you anyway
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Meeting the man of my dreams Do you have advice?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:44:08 PM
Thank you for your advise. I don't smoke, but I see what you are saying. Ok now what to wear. I have 3 walk in closets full of clothes, you would think I would know what to wear. He lives in Moss beach half moon bay area.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Meeting the man of my dreams Do you have advice?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:41:37 PM
he was a man I was married to for 24 years. He was a very verbal angry guy that made my children and myself very miserable. I tried and tried to make it work but some things you just cant fix. he could of been the man of my dreams.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Meeting the man of my dreams Do you have advice?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:39:38 PM
First of all I am not tricking him he knows who I am he simply changed his mind.
How can you say he doesn't want me he hasn't even met me.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Meeting the man of my dreams Do you have advice?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:01:14 PM
I met this guy online 2 years ago, we hit it off great, but when he heard my voice which is a little raspy, never had a problem before online dating. People either love or they hate it. He hung up on me. Yes I know it was quite shallow, I got over it not a big deal. A year ago we met again, different website, he didn't remember me, so this time I was going to meet him at a place and time, but I had to see a patient on emergency so I had no choice but to call him, again he hung up on me. Most would say why bother, I have a very competitive spirt about me, I never had anyproblems with dates before, I was determined somehow I was going to meet this guy didn't know how. I waited for a couple of months, then I emailed him. To my surprise he agreed to met me. I told him that he couldn't be that shallow and that I knew when we met face to face he would feel differently and what did he have to loose. Tomorrow I am going to meet him and I have built myself up trying to meet him. What do I do or what do I say, I know to just be myself but what would you be looking for if I walked through the door? Help
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Club House and Pool Party June 27th
Posted: 6/6/2009 1:02:17 AM
I AM SORRY TO ALL OF YOU WHO WERE PLANNING TO ATTEND THE JUNE 27, 2009 POOL PARTY, I HAVE TO CANCEL FOR THAT DATE HOME OWNER ASSOC. BOOKED 2 PARTIES FOR THE SAME TIME AND THE OTHER WAS A WEDDING. I AM GOING TO RESHEDULE, I DONT KNOW A DATE YET BECAUSE I WILL BE STARTING A NEW JOB THAT WILL REQUIRE MYSELF OUT OF TOWN A LOT. I WILL KEEP ALL OF YOU POSTED. AGAIN I AM REALLY SORRY...
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Club House and Pool Party
Posted: 5/26/2009 1:37:18 AM
to bad you couldnt dj at this party would be perfect room for dancing. if you change your mind let me know.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Club House and Pool Party
Posted: 5/25/2009 1:57:07 PM
Yes Bob you are right. sorry about that.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Club House and Pool Party June 27th
Posted: 5/24/2009 2:19:05 PM
I AM SORRY JUNE 27TH POOL PARTY HAS TO BE CANCELED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. MY HOME OWNERS ASSOC. BOOKED 2 PARTIES AT THE SAME TIME AND THE OTHER WAS A WEDDING, SO I GAVE UP MY SLOT. I WILL BE HAVING ANOTHER PARTY DATE BUT I DONT KNOW YET ON A DATE. I WILL BE OUT OF TOWN ON BUSINESS AND I NEED TO FIND OUT WHEN I WILL BE HOME. AGAIN I AM VERY SORRY. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED FOR THE NEXT DATE...
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 73 (view)
 
The happy guy within me is dead...
Posted: 9/22/2008 5:24:33 PM
Your a good man, and there are many people out there that are looking for a free ride. Your not stupid, dumb or wrong, y ou took a chance and it didnt turn out like you wanted so don't let yourself stay depressed over this. You have to be very careful if you are looking for love when searching on the web, and half of the people aren't serious about getting involved. I wont tell not to give up online dating, but I will tell don't give up on love she is just one person out of this world that did you wrong so why be depressed she wasnt worth it. I think over time you will get over it but dont wait to long life is short and I believe there is somebody for everbody. Hang in there don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 208 (view)
 
My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:07:10 PM
Steven,
I am so sorry to hear of this bad news. I wish I could give you advise but I have never lost someone to suicide. I know this much don't blame yourself, because if someone takes their life as she did, there is no way you could have stopped it, sometimes we think we know how someone is feeling, but in reality we dont know the whole thing. I have been in the medical field all my life, and have a ex husband I lived with for 24 years that on a daily basis was depressed, and on medication it was difficult I wanted to understand but I couldnt because I was never a depressed person. I will be praying for you because the lord is the only one who can walk with you through this and he will be there for you in the middle of the night, when you just cant understand why, no matter what. The greiving period is tough but it must happen and when you are ready to come out of it just hold on tight because the lord will give you a peace that no one can give you. If you need a friend, I have a good ear, and no matter what time it is day or night please feel free to contact me. You can go to my profile and send me a personal email if you feel like you need a friend. Again there is no answers to something like this life can throw us some curve balls.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Meeting Men Is Hard
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:27:16 PM
I hope this makes you feel better, I think the good old fashion way to meet someone is the best way. Online dating can really make you loose yourself esteem after awhile, it so easy to be dumped, for no other reason that there are a million others out there, so one tiny little thing you dont like, all you have to do is delete. I try not to take it to offense because I look back before online dating, I have never in my life been deleted, if someone didnt work out, we would be friends, or go our way in a decent manor. Life is just getting to machanical. Until you actually meet a person face to face is the true test. My advice if you continue online, dont waste alot of time on email or phone, get to point, otherwise you will spend your whole life wasting your time and who has time to waste......
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Trying to figure this guy out...
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:55:05 AM
I would have to say I have been there you couldnt have said it better, meeting people in the real world, I wonder why why there is such a big difference. I have been where you were at more then once, rest assured its nothing you have done, it is a great possiblity he is married, god only knows, I have seen just about everything. When he was asked to spend time with you, and he didnt choose to, don't second guess that I have learned, that if their interested they will make a way. It makes it hard when you dont know someones history nor anyone who knows either. What a better way to get away with anything they choose to say, be or do. Dont spend alot of time because you will find that you waste more time trying to find Mr. Right, if you have a gut feeling trust me go with it.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
At what age do females loss there sex drive???????
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:39:14 PM
I think it is at what age do woman start their sex drive, after 40 and it gets better as you get older. I worked in a nursing home women in their 80's were still going strong.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:47:39 AM
I think it is different for everyone, but I like to meet someone as soon as possible in a public place because bottom line until you met face to face that will be where you know you connect, email and phone is lot of time wasted to find out they are not the one for you.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
'High morals
Posted: 8/16/2008 1:17:14 PM
Hello,
I have to totally agree with you. Its a joke what people say, quite the opposite of their actions. I have met 95 percent the people to be so full of their selfs. I recently have given up on wasting my time meeting anyone it is actually quite frustrating. Before there was online dating I never had these issues. To read a profile doesn't mean anything to me. What is sad is that people believe the profiles then they meet just one time and your under a microscope watching every move you make and one tiny little wrong move and they are on to the next person, but they believed their profile and didnt give a chance to know you by actions. Its all messed up.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
I need some help or advice please!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 8/12/2008 10:16:53 AM
After having somewhat a relationship with this guy, and you still do, but he wants friendship well unfortunely you have to take it for what it is and no more. It is hard when you still care about someone to become friends after being lovers. If you go back and fourth with wanting to be friends then not wanting to be friends and if you dont hear from him you call not good. To be honest with you all you will do is run him completely away. You are going to have to make a decision on whether you can handle just being friends because thats all he wants now. Who knows where it will end up but for now if you want any connection then you unfortunely are not the one who gets to call all the shots.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Lost My self worth...need assistance
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:05:51 AM
I am sorry that you are going through this terrible feeling, I have been there and its not a place that you want to go again. The only thing that will help you heal is time and staying around positive people. Most people that make you feel this way, really they are the one with the issues but unfortunely their hurt is on you now. Whats really sad is that you spent all that time together hoping for a better outcome to end up feeling this way what a waste of time and pain. Someone that makes you feel that way surely doesnt need to drag it out that long then walk away. I know for myself you can get all the advise you can but bottom line their isnt a quick fix. You are no different then from before you met her. I know one thing at least for myself that is one mistake I learned from. Sometimes when you start doing things for other people it is medicine for you it gets your mind off self and before you know it your ok. You will be fine in time.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Dumped before the date! What's going on?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:14:27 PM
To reassure you, there is nothing wrong with you. The same thing happened to me today and let me tell you it wasnt the first. I know what you mean feeling bummed. I have realized that it is online dating. Who ever created online dating didn't think this whole thing through. I have met about 40 men in the last 2 years, most just once and out of all those there were 2 that were half human. I have met liers, men so full of their selfs, make a date then they don't show, talk to you once on phone and they disappear. It is the most inpersonal way to meet these men. The ones that I have met if I would have met them in any other way then online I probably would not have considered meeting them. All my life up unitl online dating I had no problems meeting people and people I would choose as my friend. All you find is lying idiots that have no intention on meeting you. Although I have experienced a Relationship with a man that lied about everything and therefore he made sure he wouldnt become to attached because he would rather keep all a lie then to admit that he never had any intentions of having any feelings but he did and you know who got hurt not him. This whole thing just keeps getting worse and worse. Any relationships friends, lover whatever take some kind of effort that is the part that starts out as friend and becomes more but not anymore all you have to do is delete.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:21:22 PM
How do you get over him? Good question. I have been divorced for 5 years, I have had 2 relationships and both relationships sound like the your ex. Not knowing this when I first met either of these 2 they both charmed the socks off of me. I did some investigating as far as why people are this way because these guys were exactly the same I couldn't believe it. I am not sure its love that your feeling it might feel like it, but when someone is always putting you down making you feel bad time and time again then leaves you and tells you he never loved you, well who likes to feel rejection and then on top of that your feeling pretty insecure because he has ripped you apart, the truth is thats a guy who hates himself, and it is easier for some to focus on someone else put them down its makes them feel better. Here is where the problem lied. Both men were abused growing up by their mothers. Therefore they have no respect for women and chances are you are not the one that going to change that. For a while I would wake up every day feeling bad at first as time has gone on I thank god I didnt marry or waste a whole lot of time, and I did learn something from it. I hope that helped you at least know this really didnt have anything to do with you it was a man that has issues and you happened to come into his life. Time will heal.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
addiction, crack of all things
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:19:31 PM
I have to say from all aspects, do we really love someone who has treated us so bad, someday after it is all said and done you will look back and realize that wasnt love. I dont know your history but I would have to say that this is the only love you know, from experience if all your life any man that you have been with has not treated you like a queen and it usally is a pattern on the men we cho0se, even though you see and experience the disfuntion this man has to offer after years we think and truely think thats love. We know nothing else. Along with that he is a crack addict, and without a shadow of a doubt things will never get better it can only get worse unless he stops. You deserve to start treating you like a queen and anyone who comes in your life, I am not young I used to think I better hurry and find someone but that was then and now I have spent alot of time with me, the way I look at it, I wont settle for less, and therefore if being alone the rest of my life because I didnt find the right guy, oh well I am going to enjoy life just as much. Good luck, just remember if you believe in god that your father is a king therefore you are a princess. Get rid of the toads they only bring you down.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Is a Disability a Dealbreaker?
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:13:59 AM
David unfortunetly there are some tHings we hAve. To. Deal with so we. Can try And live. Normal lives.. I am in the medical field anD have manged cases on. ThiS disabiliy. Some people grow out of it. Ifv you are good. Aboutt aking your MEds then I wouldn' say Anything at first then. If you get. Serious say somEthing.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Why do most guys want a woman who needs them?
Posted: 2/22/2008 1:04:18 AM
I have seen and heard a lot of different things on this subject.most guys that like a needy woman are controlling and somewhat insecure buT I was reading. From a mans point oF view.that men don't like needy Women.it depends on each indivual to all you woman I say don't be needy have respect for yourself be independent yOu don't need to be needy so a man.will want you. You will only be obligated.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1117 (view)
 
Let an accomplished screenwriter rate your profile. C'mon. Try me!
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:06:42 AM
Hi chris let me know what u think about my profile and what I can do to make it better. Thanks gail
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 12/17/2007 11:33:50 PM
I was married to a man like that for 24 years, before I married him I knew this, if only I had done something about it then because once I was married it just got worse. I wont say men are self centered but people that behave like that are selfish and all about self. My advise is RUN. You wont waste all those years like I did.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1054 (view)
 
Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:48:21 PM
It depends how much older. I am 48 and half of the men that contact me are 23 or younger. For me that is a little to young for me. It also depends what you want, I suppose if it strickly for sex then age shouldn't be a issue. For a long term relationship A woman doesn't want to that many years older. I always ask why would you want to date a older woman and the majority of responses are, less drama and mature.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
When is the right time to sleep with a Man your getting to know, without him dumping you after?
Posted: 11/17/2007 12:45:42 AM
At 21 I got married and married for 24 years. When I was single before 21 every Man that I have met wanted to take you to bed, I am not complaining it just the way it is since the beginning of time. Then divorced 4 years ago 44 then, at first I thought things were different with older men, but within a short time I realized that it was no differnent then when I was 21, the only thing is that older men are just smoother on how they approach the situation. This is the prime time of my life, I won't sleep with anyone but if there is chemistry and I am interested in someone, when is the right time? I don't understand in most situations the man is the first to make the move then you respond and after that a man can walk away he got what he wanted, no explanations and it ends there. Of course your thinking maybe this one is different. How can know before the fact when the time is right so you dont feel like shit. So many women say that going to beat the man to the punch line. I just don't see that happening.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Cold hearted women
Posted: 11/3/2007 8:46:40 PM
bottom line since the beginning until now, You want what you can't have, what you have you don't want. just the way it is.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:20:53 PM
I am very sorry to hear bad news. First thing I would do is pray for him. I will also pray for your family. I think if you dont take care of him and he passes away you will feel regret. I work in the medical field and worked along with Hospice. If the Doctors have given him a certain time to live and you see that he is deteriorating quickly, my suggestion to you is have your Doctor have hospice come in the home, they can give him medication that would keep him out of pain if he is having pain and there is no way he would have the strength to be phyically abusive. If he is still capable of hurting you and drinking I wouldn't bring him into your home, you deserve to be treated good and no one should take that from you even if they are dying and thats not being selfish. Bottom line most people do what there heart tells them. I hope I helped. If you want to know more about the medical aspect , cancer patients and hospice please dont hesitate to email anytime. I will pray for you.
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
The Man of My Dreams until he heard my voice.....
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:08:50 PM
I am now 48 and never in my life have I had hard time attracting men, I am saying that not because I am vain, I meet hundreds of people face to face every day. Why then am I on a Dating Web, because the field that I am in with my profession the majority of these people are women, and I don't have alot of free time, for 24 years I was married up until 4 years ago. It made sense to try a dating web site, But I have a big problem unless you meet me face to face without talking to me the phone first forget it. I have a what you might call a raspy voice, some love it and others don't. I don't smoke it is the voice that god gave me. I met a man about a year ago he was the only person that I have met that had so much in common with me, I had that gut feeling this could be my soul mate we emailed for a long time before we talked he emailed alot and was feeling the same and then he heard my voice and that was it. I know why care sounds like a shallow man, I agree, and after some time I forgot all about him. Then a year later on this web he pops up as one of my compatibilty matches with the highest percentage rate. So I emaileed him didnt mention anything about 1 year ago. He emailed me back and he did not know it was me again he was responsive so I thought this time I was going to have him see me face to face we arranged to meet which I had about a 2 hour drive but it was worth it to me I felt if he could see me I could get him to see differently well I had emergency with job I had to get to which meant I was going to be late I tried to get every women that I know to call talk brief but no one would, so I had to call and you know the rest of story. I know this sounds like I am desperate all the drama but not at all, it has been that gut feeling tugging on me, I feel like he was the one. What do I do?
 happyfree1959
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
He told me that he loved me
Posted: 9/16/2007 8:49:37 PM
I know how you are feeling, although I wasn't carrying a baby. Let me just tell you that the best thing you could do is focus on that precious little baby and don't get your hopes up that he will come around, probably the opposite because now he feels trapped and child support will be a issue. Have your baby have paturnity test that way he will know you are telling the truth. I don't mean to sound mean, but I just got out of a 1 year relationship and I was told he loved me, not only that he lived in gated country club, had a consulting firm, he said he left his ex wife, he was always accussing me of the very thing he was doing. I talked to his ex girlfriend because I needed answers I was wasting my time and he did n't own his home, he didn't even work, all the times he was in Meetings he was other women. I am not a dumb person but he was a good con. Unfortunetly there are alot of heartless people in this world and dating sites for some are a big game and men and women find thereself with a rather large ego because they have tons of the oppoisite sex that are interested in them so a guy who thinks he's hot what a better way to keep his image up by having a women for every city. Why not it's simple. I leave you with this.....If the test comes back positive Nail that **stard.
 
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