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 Author Thread: Is every white woman on this site against interracial relationships or is my profile just that bad?
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is every white woman on this site against interracial relationships or is my profile just that bad?
Posted: 4/1/2013 1:52:38 PM
Yup funny how that works.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Do I Tell My Good Friend How I Really Feel About Her?
Posted: 4/1/2013 1:50:57 PM
I suspect that you are being less than honest with yourself about how 'open and honest' your relationship is. If it is all that you say, then look at it. Does she seem like she feels the same about you? Do you think that she will be happy to hear that you have developed feelings for her?
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Is every white woman on this site against interracial relationships or is my profile just that bad?
Posted: 4/1/2013 1:34:14 PM
Are you actually saying that your bad profile is not good enough for white women to be interested in but good enough for black women?
I find it endlessly amusing when guys complain that "attractive" women do not respond to them and then blame the site.
 the_standard_model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What is the point?
Posted: 3/12/2013 9:09:25 PM
Frankly, who cares? Concentrate on the other half that are interested in and open to dating people of your ethnicity. People want what they want. I am guessing that if you are not physically attracted to someone for whatever reason you would not date them. Should they whine about you?
 the_standard_model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Want a womans perspective on my profile.
Posted: 3/12/2013 9:05:27 PM
C'mon bro. Really? Your profile is a text book example of a guy that is trying to make an impression. Foreign cheese and foreign wine? Not good wine but foreign wine, huh. Your broad shoulders and the way you have decided t describe your hands is a bit over the top. Do you honestly feel that a real man is the sort that a woman can 'mold' into whomever/whatever she wants? That is just pathetic.
My advice is to stop trying so hard to impress and just present who you are. Do you really want a woman that you have you sell yourself to, or a woman that likes you for who you actually are?
 the_standard_model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
ignoring him
Posted: 3/12/2013 8:36:20 PM
Look OP, sometimes you just have to accept what he decides. You simply let him know that you are interested and then back off. It is then up to him to show an interest in maintaining contact with you or not. It sounds like he simply may not be ready or interested in any sort of relationship with you.

Christ On A Crutch is correct in his observation. You are attempting to control his response with you behavior. There is nothing that you can do than present your position and let him proceed however he chooses to proceed.
 the_standard_model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Too Available?
Posted: 3/12/2013 8:29:31 PM
I personally enjoy the game and flirting. I find it fun, but there is a line. The flirting and chase is not fun if I feel like I am trying to attract a woman that is simply not interested.

I have never asked a woman out hoping that she would say no, she is busy. I believe that what you are possibly referring to is can a guy lose interest if he thinks that you have nothing else going on in your life. That would be a turn off for me.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 97 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/30/2012 12:19:50 AM
THAT POST WAS TO HER FROM ONE OF MY OTHER POST IT WASN'T ABOUT YOU SAID ABOUT ME WHATS SO EVER.


OMG, He just typed it in all caps. He is internet shouting at me! Sh!t just got real!!

Yeah sure it wasn't about what I said. So you were talking to her while using the third person to her? Yeah right. But at least on one level you are right that it wasn't about me what so ever. You sure ignored the fact that I said that you had been haurranging her about her opinion all day and felt no issue about it, but now that the shoe is on the other foot, you are running for the hills. You had nuthin' to say about that.

Sir the only reason that you are so eager to let it end now is because your fragile view of yourself as a good and decent guy is being called into question. Frankly, if you felt so confident (as you did since around 2pm this afternoon) about your point of view and about showing her a better way of thinking, you would still be interested in the conversation. But now that it is a few people pointing out what a jacka$$ you have actted like you want to let it go.

Sir you want to show that you are a decent guy? You owe Confused an apology. You are now asking for consideration for yourself that you have not ben willing to give to her for the last several hours. You have harrassed her all day.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 96 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/30/2012 12:00:08 AM

(I am sure your a really great person and I can see what your trying to say) that shows that I was never ever trying talk down to her... I was merely giving my opinion and you went on about my profile and made the thread about stuff that its not even about..

but again we all have our opinions im not going to sit here and bicker back and fourth.. we all have our faults and are good points.. lets just agree we all want the samethings and thats to live a good long life. the end


Sir, I never said you were a really great person. I straight out said that you seemed controlling and many other things that are the opposite of a great person. (feel free to re-read my posts again)
You are correct that we ALL have our opinions, but you felt fully comfortable sitting there and bickering back and forth for the last TWELVE F@#KING HOURS picking on this woman. But NOW that someone has taken up her cause and is calling you out, you want to let people be free to have there opinions?

You really are that****that tells people that they are not free to stop talking to you. Well if you are finally done then good night and take care, but know that this truly marks you as a coward. You would not leave this woman in peace all day because you disagreed with what she said and in true pack mentality you kept on her and kept on her. But when you don't have the 'pack' behind you anymore, you are called out on your poor behaviour and it turns out that the people that you have been harrassing her with turn out to be the sort that are possible racists you can't stand on your own two feet and have nothing left to say. You have been judging her and making assumptions about her all day.

Bro, you are 'That Guy".

But if you are done then take care and have a good life. The end.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:34:54 PM
I am sorry that you think that most people that are married fight about money. How you grew up does not mean that qualifies as most and especially in your neck of the woods. Most of this country or even this world is not like Detroit where everyone is constantly arguing, fighting, or trying to be better than everyone else. That is fairly exclusive behavior to just certain areas.

Most divorced people chose divorce due to money but that has little to do with most people. That simply has to do with the ones that have or have had commitment issues in their pasts. You know that whole for richer or poorer thing. They liked the idea of the for richer part but not the for poorer part.

How this thread has morphed from simply a man with no wheels to this back and forth male female entitlement crap is beyond me. This is turning just as bad as the who pays for coffee threads.

You needn't lump me in the mix like you did. I don't have any issues like that.


Bwahahahahahahahaa!! Dude, I am Canadian. I was born and raised in Toronto and I have lived in several different citys and different countrys. I am sorry that you do not like Detroit (but thanks for letting us know the sort of person that you are. Folks from Detroit most be degenerates, huh)It is quite telling though that rather than address the FACTS of what I said (that the old folks that you met obviously felt that finances were important enough to scrimp and save to make sure that their old age was taken care of and they could be together.


Most divorced people chose divorce due to money but that has little to do with most people.

Uhhh, seeing how more than half of all marriages end in divorce and according to you, most of those divorce due to money. That sir is most people.

You lumped yourself into the mix when you made the statements that you made. Unfortunately you confirmed that you DO have those sort of issues when you decide that the best response that you have for my facts is that anyone from Detroit has to be wrong as according to you...

Most of this country or even this world is not like Detroit where everyone is constantly arguing, fighting, or trying to be better than everyone else. That is fairly exclusive behavior to just certain areas.

... So please enlighten us, what 'certain areas' would those be?
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 94 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:00:56 PM

~~~~~
I just told you that you shouldn't believe a guy is a peace of shit because he doesn't have a car.
~~~
Show me where i said or implied this?

Or this..
~~~~
I was just trying to make you realize that THINGS dont make a person worthy its the PERSON that has the things or in this case doesn't have those things.
~~

or this?
~~
the fact you like this kinda of act is disgusting as hell.
~~

or this?
~~~
but to say someone who doesn't have a car is suppose to be the person that's stuck to the bottom of your shoe
~~

All I said was the lack of a car carries the connotation of having financial or legal issues, which gives you a much higher chance at being nexted without a second glance online.

Did someone strike a nerve?


Well it looks like no one else will break it down for you, so I will. You have spent the entire thread talking down to Confused. You have tried to talk to her like she does not realize that there is more to a preson than their car. You ignore the fact that she said that she used to live out of her car. As in her saying that she understands personally that good people can fall on hard times. You ignore that completely and talk down to a woman that seems to have far more life experience than you do.

In your profile wheer YOU write "If we are having a conversation. Continue it. Is you talking down and being controlling to women that are aboslute strangers to you. Sir, you don't get to tell people that are not interested in continuing to talk to you to continue to talk to you. If they do not want to spend another moment with you then you are not entitled to ONE MORE SECoND OF THEIR LIFE!! You don't get to tell people how to act. The only person that you get to control is yourself. That attitude sir seems to spill into other areas of your life, like this topic. Confused has made it clear that she prefers to date men that have a car. She has stated her reasons why.
Who the F#@k are YOU to question her or try to correct her? She stated her opinion. Agree or disagree with what she thinks, it marks you as a jerk to try and 'correct her' on it. If she is not your cup of tea then move on.

As I said before, you are the sort that actually does not see what a creep you are. You feel that because you say nice flowery things it hides or excuses your jack assed behaviour.
You are free to have your opinions. Not a single person here has told you that you should think other than you do. Give her the same respect.

Of course you won't because you feel entitled to try and correct her way of thinking because you think your way is nicer. So you feel justified in correcting her or teaching her a lesson.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 88 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:23:09 PM
Anyone that reads what I wrote will see the truth for what it is. TheItalian1989 actually does not see it. He honestly thinks that he is a catch and does not understand how disrespectful everything that he wrote was. You will NEVER convince him, or the rest of these fools.

Frankly, they are projecting. They are currently failing at dating people and lack the social skills required to successfully date (i.e. meet people on a casual basis, get to know them, perhaps develop a connection and growing attraction then transforming that attraction and connection into a relationship)so the problem is on everyone else.
If only everyone else would give me a chance, if only women would over look my short comings and see what a nice guy I could be. They do not understand that you need to be more than just nice. Nice is not a substitute for being boring, overbearing or obnoxious.

So Italian (and the rest of you) the simple truth is this, You are not entitled to date anyone. If you chose to live a life where your sh!t is not together, most folks are not going to want any part of that. If you chose to make the sacrifice finacially to keep your bills paid or pay off a mortgage (As I am currently doing. 3 more years!!) then that is part of the sacrifice. Deal with it. If you want to change your situation then it is YOU that has to make the change not everyone else. We all have our standards. You can b!tch and complain to your hearts content, but it will not change the fact that if your finances are a mess then you are not in a position to date.

Yes, relationships are built on things like love, respect, loyalty and many other lofty ideals. But you do not just feel those things for any ole body. Especially a first date... or a random profile on POF. Frankly, you are a fool to believe that youare entitled to such major emotions and feelings from a stranger. To the guy that talked about the couples in the old age homes that he met... they had their finances together enough that they were able to retire to the same nice retirement home. Because if they did not take care of their finances to make that happen, the government would not give a rat's a$$ about keeping them together and they would be in seperate homes. Most married couples fight about money. Half of the divorces in this country involve finances.

Welcome to being a grown up.

Now for those of you shouting "well women can get away with having no car!"
Yup, some of them can. They also rarely pay for the first few dates. Do you know why? Because they have something to offer that you do not. It's not simply because they are women either. I have been out with women that are happy to pay, drive or whatever else. Not because I am pretty or have a hardbody. It is because I bring something to the table other than being nice. I have developed the social skills required that people want... women want to date me. Not trying to toot my own horn here. I have simply spent some time and effort to learn to be charming, funny and interesting. And guess what? It works. It will work for anyone.

F@#k it. I am done. Gentlemen, if you want to actually start to have some success in dating both here and IRL, start to take responsiblity for why you are not having the success that you want. The problem is not women, or the times or the media. IT'S YOU!! SO STOP WHINING ABOUT IT AND FIX THE PROBLEMS. If you can't be bothered then hellIcare, keep on whining about it. See how many dates that gets ya!
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 69 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/29/2012 12:00:21 PM
OMG!!! This thread is absolutely hilarious/pathetic. Uhh, guys, if you do not have your sh!t tgogether enough to maintain your lifestyle financially, then you are not in a position to be dating and NO ONE is required or should be expected to put up with the FACT that you are not in a financial position to date.

You are not entitled to to have people date you, give you a chance, or over look your bad situation.

Gentlemen you are correct that the important things in life are not the type of car that you drive, but frankly, to expect that a person that has not even met you, should overlook the unstable situation that is your current situation and want to insert themselves in to it is unreasonable and foolish.

Get over yourselves.

Hey guys, why don't you go downtown and find the first homeless woman that you see and take her out on a date? So what that she is homeless and possibly mentally unstable? She is probably a nice and worthy person. She is just going through a rough patch and you will obviously be understanding right.

So problem solved right guys. Just go on down to the nearest homeless shelter and take your pick. These are all good people just having a hard time. Don't let something silly as 'materialism' get in the way of you wanting to date them. She will REALLY appreciate that you stood by her while she was panhandling and picking through the garbage for her dinner. You need never be alone again.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/29/2012 9:27:15 AM

Not everyone can afford a car, some people sacrifice driving to do things like pay a mortgage to own their house, or they paid their way through college...


Guys really?? This is ridiculous. If you are in this position then you are probably not in a position to date. I have personally made the sacrifice to pay off my mortgage quickly thus I am reduced to driving a beater. I fully understand that the sacrifice is my OWN to bear and I have no expectation that someone else bear it with me. If you do not own a car for WHATEVER reason, financial or otherwise, it makes social interaction more difficult, period.

If you can not currently afford to date then wait until you are able to or do something about it! But to expect women to simply deal with your lack of ability to drive, or make your own way is outrageous. We are not entitled to a relationship or dating. We are not entitled to have people simply put up with us while we get ourselves in order.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
i need help in the finding women category
Posted: 8/22/2012 11:55:04 AM
Sorry sir, but the issue is you. If you don't like the women that you are settling for, then don't settle for them. You pick them right.

Frankly, if you come across as the sort of man that thinks he deserves better than he is getting (and after reading your profile you DO come across that way) people will not be too interested in you.

Perhaps if you were to change your attitude, you would notice better results in the people that were interested in you.

You are young, so perhaps you do not see it, but 'settling' for someone just to get some ass is a douche move. Especially if you make it obvious to them and/or treat them that way.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
woman Ignoring you purely on your looks?
Posted: 8/12/2012 6:52:56 PM
So let me get this straight, you find a woman that you like the look of (judge her by her looks) and message her. Not because you like her profile or think that what you have in common mean anything. You like the way she looks. Yet you get pissy when you feel that women that are not interested in you due you your looks pass you by. Have I got that straight?

Ever give any thought to the women that you pass up because you don't like their looks? Or does the 'don't judge me on my looks thing only apply to you?
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Quick review.
Posted: 8/4/2012 7:54:29 PM
Well, I am not sure that you would take the advice but here goes...

Your pics are bad. The main one is you, probably drunk, hugging an extremely drunk guy, looking like you are screaming your head off.

The first portion of your profile says it all...


Hello there! I'm Michael. I'm 24, laid back and I'm always open to new things so I thought I'd have a look on here. I've just read this thing back to myself and it sounds proper depressing, haha. I can't be typing it all out again though! The photos are all I could get hold of at the time as well.

Well then, apparently I should follow the 4 steps if I want to be successful on here...

Hobbies... I pretty much just do what most other people do. Suppose I'm just another brick in the wall! I love music, I listen to a range of it. I occasionally have a few drinks with friends over the weekend. I follow the football. I love horse racing and just horses in general. I could go on about all sorts of things but I'd just bore you to death, if I haven't already! Kicking puppies is something I like to do on the side.


You sound like a bit of a**** Probably just trying to be funny and easy, but everything is a self depreciating joke or just negative. Mix that with the pics and you just come off as that loud-mouth guy at the bar that can't hold his liquor and vomits on himself before the end of the night. I am willing to guess that you are probably not that guy, but this is what your profile shows.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Ladies, please review my profile? Have not had good luck.
Posted: 8/4/2012 11:15:41 AM
I read your profile. You have a few issues. First the tagline. It is in another language, whic is fine except that you never address it in the profike thus it becomes a waste. Better nothing than nonsense. I assume that it is German as you have an interest in German, but you never clarify.

Next your pics. You only smile (with your teeth) in one of them. None are great. The main one is too dark. Frankly, you come off as a bit of a dork in them. In a few is fine, but all of them makes you look socially inept. You do seem like a fun nice guy in them though.

Drop all the talk about your ex-wife. You dedicate an entire paragraph to her. Right at the begining. Despite what you think, it's a turn off.

your profile is too long. Mine is long, but yours is long and a bit boring. I zoned out twice while reading it. I had my girlfriend read it and all she really pulled out of it is that ou have your daughter, like to drink, like guns and may or may not still be married.

You come across like a nice guy that has litte idea of how to be interesting and socially clumsy.

Drop the talk about drinking and references to alcohol. Drop the defensive speech about your daughter. A little less detail. It is just too long. Clarify whether you are separated or divorced. You are not 'single'. Single means that you have never been married.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
a womans job and education:social standing
Posted: 5/17/2012 9:18:40 PM

.....The female with Doctor degree, or who is a lawyer, typically would not even be attracted to man who only has a high school level education. Women instinctively are not attracted to men [for anything long term] who pull in significantly less money than she does.


Sorry Zeus, but you are wrong here. Women will often be attracted to men that are less financially successful if they are still "Alpha" males and are able to dominate them socially, emotinally or sexually. It is actually quite common.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Do women kiss on the first date to be just nice?
Posted: 5/16/2012 10:03:32 PM
Meh. I have kissed a thousand women that I knew I would never see again. It's just a kiss and really is no big deal. You say that she is busy so she is probably busy. But that is not the issue here. In a separate thread Christ on a Crutch said the truth. Dating is just to see if you are compatible. If your communication styles, schedules, wants and needs match up. It seems that you want more than she is willing to give. If that is the case, it's not a match and move on.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Update...Wedding with a Male Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 9:47:26 PM
Op, I went and read the original post and I am kinda shocked. Frankly there are things that once said or done are indicative of who you are or what you think of the person/relationship.

apologizing and cancelling the plans is one thing. But if it were me, I would would be seriously reconsidering my relationship with a woman that did that to me. You can claim that you were not thinking now, but if the position was reversed, you would have COMPLETELY understood the problem here. When you suggest that perhaps you should not have told him, you are saying that you percieve that as an acceptable solution.

IMO, you are not very serious or very respectful of this relationship.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Men Wanting sex right away??
Posted: 5/16/2012 9:26:50 PM
To be honest, I am always a little confused when women do this. Imagine a man is really, Really, REALLY interested in having sex. Whodathunkit?

Look, most mens primary motivator in dating is to have sex with women. We want relationships too, but we are going out often looking to score. Why would you act surprised when this comes up?

You answer it however you want to, but I would suggest that you say something along the lines of "Three dates in one night? I am not sure that you would want to pay for three dinner bills!" and laugh it off. Men will often gauge you to see if you are actually interested in having a sexual relationship. Sometimes they are just being playful. If the guy was as decent and great as you said, then I am not sure what the problem was here. He made a sexual joke. Big deal.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
why are women ok with being called shorty (ebonics term)
Posted: 3/7/2012 7:29:40 AM
Yo fool! Stop bein sucha JIVE TURKEY up in here on da innerwebs!!! Sucka.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Pics taken at an ex's house
Posted: 3/6/2012 11:27:42 PM
None of us can know as we would need much more info. But it does not matter. You know her better than we ever will. If she operates with you in a manner that is often controlling then this may be another attempt at that. If she is normally a sane a nd respectful person towards you then this may just be one of the things that make her feel a littl insecure. To me it is irrational unless you have the combo to the wall safe in the picture or lots of valuables showing or her mom's jewery sitting out. But sometimes there is no rational explaination to feelings. If she would honestly feel more secure by you taking the pic down and it's no biggie to you then you did the right thing. You are helpingher sleep more securely at night.

Good move.

edit. I often have to be reminded of a few facts in life between people. I am pretty fearless in life. I would fall asleep on the bus or the subway. Heck I would sleep anywhere frankly. I can get drunk and pass out. I can walk or dive most places and not worry about it. I do not worry about people that I meet in the street, in bars or here. I have zero apprehesions about bringing people to my house for a first date. I don't care.
I am also 6'3, 250 pounds of trained kick boxer. (I know that I don't have any pics posted so you will have to take my word for it... ahh I will just repost one for a while)
Women do not have the luxery of roaming through life as physically worry free as I do. They have to be on ethe look out and protect themselves at all times. Sometimes what they believe is an issue is not, but most women are not security experts. Many women are scared and dealing with previous experiences or a real fear of being attacked and defenseless. Even on a date. Even with their husbands, boyfriends and co-workers.
What was it that Fox News pundit Liz Trotta said about female millitary perosnelle in Aphganistan when discussing the huge number of them being raped by US personelle...


Fox News' Liz Trotta On Women Raped In Military: 'What Did They Expect? These People Are In Close Contact'


Sometimes we just gotta understand that life is different for women bro.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Pics taken at an ex's house
Posted: 3/6/2012 11:05:12 PM
Meh. It will vary from person to person. Is she doing this to f@#k with you and control you or does she honestly feel violated? If she does honestly feel violated and you really don't care one way or the other then consider taking it down. The way that I see it, feelings are not always rational. Sometimes we have to simply accept that certain reasonable things will make other people upset. If we value the relationship, we 'work around' those things.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
can a younger man be man enuf
Posted: 3/6/2012 11:01:14 PM

At that age, it's more to do with sex and obviously, with you!

By the way, “alot” is spelled “a lot”.


??? Really?? Do you honestly believe that you should be harping on her spelling? It's a real douche bag move sir. Not to mention that have an error here too (again as you di dthe last time I saw you try and correct comeone's spelling)

At that age, it's more to do with sex and obviously, with you!

The proper grammar is "it has more to do with sex and obviously, with you!". "it's" is short for "it is".
"It is more to do with sex and obviously, you!" is obviously incorrect. Kinda sh!tty when people just up and chose to play spelling Nazi, huh? It's a douche bag move, sir. We all make mistakes and the forums are casual enough that we don't have to edit our grammar and spelling to perfection. Not even you.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Asking the OP if they are keeping their options open.
Posted: 3/6/2012 7:53:19 PM
Ignorance may be bliss but clearly understood expectations are a lot more secure. Would you really rather that he was flirting with and dating three other women but you were blissfully unaware of it?
I did not read anyone judge you, only tell you that what you were seeing was not reasonable behaviour nor expectaions. Online, nor in real life. No one, no you, him nor anyone else is expected to pretend that they are exclusive with you before they are. You are not being intelligent to pretend that youhave ANY sort of commitment before you actually do. Yes ignorance is bless, but I know that I personally would prefer to know that I am steering my own ship.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Am I Being Immature?
Posted: 3/6/2012 7:46:09 PM

oh, my bad...I guess all you lovely women have never ever, ever taught a man a lesson with/by your actions because we all know men don't respond to words.


Huh? So because you know of other women that behave poorly, you feel that it is okay to emulate them? Really? Well this thread has been quite telling. Yes some men do respond to words. Some men do not respond to words, but frankly you are NO ONE to teach ANYONE a lesson. You are obviously in a relationship with a man that is not able to maintain a secure one. You seem to not be able to maintain a secure, reasonable adult relationship either.
You are being ridiculous. Do what you want as obviously you are not interested in the answer to your threads question, but YES you ARE being immature. But you be you...
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Male virgins
Posted: 3/6/2012 7:32:56 PM
In my opinion, I would keep that piece of information to myself. At your age it will not come up in conversation and most women will not find it attractive. Also speaking from experience, I have little interest in a virgin or even inexperienced woman. It is a pain (Literally for them) and as OSFG said, I want a skilled lover with minimal hang-ups. I assure you that a virgin is not all that you magine it to be.

Frankly my question to you is this, why are you a virgin? I would imagine that if it ain't by choice then this question is moot. Your larger issue is not will women not want to date virgins, but what is it about you that has kept you a virgin and can you overcome it?
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Asking the OP if they are keeping their options open.
Posted: 3/6/2012 7:26:34 PM

I have had my profile hidden after a few days of talking to him, but that was my choice.

I am glad that you understand this to a degree, but if you truly believed it you would not have posted this thread, nor asked him that question. There is no reason for him to hide his profile after meeting you twice and exchanging messages with you. You are not anywhere close to exclusive.

[quote
I asked him today if he generally keeps his options open when he meets someone new or if he gives the OP a window of time to see how things go, without talking to anyone else. I didn't mention seeing him online and tried to come across as it being a general question.. as I understand that everyone is different.
Apparently, you do NOT understand that everyone is different and your expectation is that he had hidden his profile. You were attempting to call him out as OBVIOUSLY he had not hidden his profile and he was still on POF. You ALREADY knew the anser to your question. You WERE playing coy. You could not care less what the general population was. You asked the question because you were hurt that he was online.



Do you think it was a fair question or did I blow it asking too soon? :-/

Needless to say, i do not believe it to be a fair question as he owes you NO EXPLAINATION FOR WHAT HE DOES AT THIS POINT. YOU ARE NOT EXCLUSIVE, NOR DO YOU HAVE ANY SORT OF COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER. You are out of line.


Any advice to try and smooth things over or should I strike it up as a life lesson and pout about what could have been? Thanks in advance for your input.

Advice. Yup. You bring up in conversation that you are sorry for putting him on the spot. You are new to online dating and are still learning the ropes. Don't worry about the question, I am sorry that I asked and I am really excited to see you again.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
car damage deal-breaker
Posted: 3/6/2012 7:14:15 PM
In my opinion, you have recieved a lot of silly answers. I would simply see what he does. If he does not answer your calls in two more days and you communicate daily then write him off. I do not know your financial situatuation is and if the money is signifigant to you or not. If it is not then just replace it and move on. Small claims court is a pain in the butt and it still does not 'force' him to pay. Just replace it and lesson learned.
That said, there are a number of reasons that he may not have contacted you. He may be embarrassed. The way that you reacted to the situation may have him believing that he should not contact you until the situation is fixed. Heck, he may be broke (as rent/mortagage time was this weekend) and not have the money available until next payday. He may just be busy. Who knows. But I would let him show what he is going to dop and take it as that. I look at this as a test of his character and a relatively inexpensive one. Just let the situation play out on his terms. Depending on the damage to his car he could have simply quietly cleaned it up, not told you and you would have been none the wiser. I will say that he should have told you first thing, but he did tell you before the nightwas out. Wait and see. Two days. Call him once each day. Don't rant at him, mention the situation or tell him to call you. Just call and if he does not answer just tell him that you wanted to say hi and miss his voice.

Best of luck as it sounds like you like him.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Had a great time with my friend, one small comment at the end irked me : say something or not?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:15:24 PM
He says something that bothers you once in a while and you can't seem to time the length of your meetings to his liking. There is give and take in every relationship. What I would ask myself though is does he have a point when he says that or is he just saying some off the cuff remark? If you were about to pull some drama queen sh!t then he may not have been out of line.

Look though if he is just a FWB then I would over look it. He fills a need and you fill a need. There is really little else to it.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Confidence
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:11:17 PM

If you ever want to meet up for a beer, I am just down the road from you and would be happy to help you get your head on straight.


Uhh, holy sh!t, really? I live in Detroit and I am fully aware that Novi is not 'up the street' from you. That is an extremely cool gesture Silent Steel and my esteem for you has jumped up ten points.


So ....you can keep working this "I'm not good looking" angle and hope it works, or you can get right, and realize how ridiculous it sounds.

you are exactly right.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Confidence
Posted: 3/3/2012 12:24:03 PM
Okay I am going to ammend what I said a little bit here. After a quick trip through your history I discovered a little more about you...



Kites you said it, not me for the record.. More i like to say but i dont wanna run the risk of being reported. I've always been open minded and im not the problem here.. Maybe im just too mature and too responsible?




Second, how do i not have an open mind? Alot of guys on this site complain about not getting responses. But yet.. we are the ones being accused of not being open minded? Lets re-think that. This is not a typical pity me thread or whatever. Im just speaking for the guys here who have zero sucess and that is why bother if women on here won't give us a shot? I was born blond, brown eyes and my hight is 5-9 now close to healthy weight. Not all of us are 6ft, dark and handsome and i think its dumb to be shut out cause of that.


... it seems that you are living in a bit of a fantasy world. There is a reason that you are having zero success . Women are not 'obligated' to give you a shot. In the same way that you are not obligated to give someone that you are not interested in a shot. People deal with you because you come across as someone that they may enjoy spending time with for one reason or another. You are not shut out because you are average size, blonde with brown eyes. You are shut out because you have not developed the social skills to make you a fun, easy, interesting and approachable person to be around. OSFG was trying to help you and you lashed out at her (From the same thread that I copied from). If this is how you operate then guess what? People will not want to spend time around you. I congratulate you on the weight loss and the better lifestyle. Now it is time to start moving forward on the personality issues and learn how to attract people socially. Like it or not, confidence IS attractive to both men and women. Being needy and boring is not. Take it or leave it.
Yes a lot of guys complain about having a low response rate. Most of those guys also put little effort into their profiles or have not tried to do what it would take to increase their odds. Many of those guys (like yourself for instance) believe that they 'deserve' women to talk to them so they sit back and wait for the opportunities to start dropping in. Just because you are no longer over weight is not the end all be all.

Sigh. Look if you want to identify with the men here that can not (and mostly will not) do what it takes to be successful here, then fine. Do what you want to do. But understand that sucess here is fairly easy. It simply requires some effort on your part.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Confidence
Posted: 3/3/2012 12:03:11 PM
This should not need explaining but, being needy means that you demand to much time and attention from other people. That is bad. As Christ said, if you don't even trust youto get the job done then why should anyone else. Frankly you are not a bad looking guy, but looks are not all that someone brings to the table. Obviously you do not feel like you measure up in those areas either.

Look sir, it's not attractive just like smelling bad is not attractive. It is plain and simply not pleasant to be around. I am not kidding here, but perhaps you should speak to a counseller.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How do you know?
Posted: 3/3/2012 12:38:31 AM
You would need to grow some facial hair to be more like me!!

But seriously, great question OP. I persoanlly like to chase. I like to approach women that seem like they are interesting to talk to and will not bore me. Of course I need to be physically attracted to her. As far as approach in real life, I will generally 'find' some reason to get next to her (i.e. beside her at the bar) and make some comment directed at her. Something funny, a shared experience or situation (like waiting for a drink), comment about another patron or what she is wearing or doing. Anything really to let her know that i am interested in talking to her. It does not actually matter. If she is not interested, nothing that I say will work and if she is, conversation will blossom from there. I like when they 'play along' and do not make it too easy for me. I prefer a woman that will flirt but let me lead. A woman that will make me work for it a little bit. Keep me on my toes at this point. I like having witty banter and sexual innuendos. I personally like not knowing if she will kiss me back when I go for it. I think that it's exciting and adventurous!! Make no mistake, I have to believe that she is interested and not just stringing me along if the interest is not mutual. I guesss that I prefer to 'hunt for my dinner, instead of have it delivered to me.'
I generally expect that there will be something before the end of each meeting. If I just met you from a good kiss to sex (I would not ask for your number before I kissed you) and some real heavy petting if not sex from the first date on. If sex is was not on the menu by the third date, I am not having a fourth date. There are exceptions of course, but for me this is par for the course.
I don't care what you can afford. I will pay the first few dates. After the first date, if you want to pony up for a round of drinks or something, that is one HELLUVA gesture and goes a long way. If you are planning (thus paying) the date then I don't care if it's cheap or even free. Just make it fun. I have gone for afternoon drives through the county in the summer. Stopped at tiny little towns and then at a grocery store. Picked up a roasted chicken, some fruit and pasta salad, and just went to the beach. Usually followed by drive back to my place, cook dinner, watch a movie... I have gone on similar drives through the county and stopped at a bunch of the local wineries. They do tastings for $2 a person 9three different varieties. gawd I LOVE WINDSOR ONTARIO. Then went to the National park and rented a canoe for the day ($20) and explored the bogs and lakes. Pack a lunch and it's a killer afternoon! As long as it's FUN I don't care that it's cheap.

Just don't be a douche bag to the people that you hit on. Be respectful and be honest about what you are looking for. That is how to be more like me.

Hopefully that is sorta what you are looking for.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 121 (view)
 
Asking for rent money after 2 weeks? Am i in the wrong?
Posted: 3/2/2012 10:20:50 PM
Okay, OP. I call shenanigans. You got us. You got ALL of us. And for a good long time too. I know that I never suspected a thing. Put folks the OP is a prankster. The OP likes to leave ludicris posts and then leave the room and watch the hilartity. For instance, his last post was... 1/9/12 a month and a half ago...

Iv'e been seeing a girl from here for about 11 weeks. I came out of a 4 year relationship earlier this year and not really looking for anything serious. I enjoy spending time with this girl and she is very sweet but she came over yesterday and showed me that she has gotten my name tattoed on the back of her neck - while i am very flattered, it has shocked me a lot. Now i don't know what to do... If the day comes where i want us to go our seperate ways, i will feel awful. But i can't stop thinking this now...

thanks for reading...

Yeahhhh... right. Plus this post...

I was with my ex girlfriend for 4 years and we had a really good life together. We had a house and a dog, we would travel, i was a good boyfriend. I would do our washing, meals etc, i thought everything was good.

I was her first boyfriend and she got to the point earlier in the year where she felt maybe she was a little young, maybe she was missing out on other things etc - she moved out, i helped her find a new place to live and got her a tv and stuff.

Since then we have spoken quite a bit and deep down i was honestly hoping she would realise that " the grass isn't greener" and come back. She has found it a bit hard since she moved out and i have been helping her with money and stuff - she never asked me but i could see she needed a little help and i offered. I wasn't trying to buy her back, i just wanted to know she was ok and she had money for food etc.

I probably gave her about 50 pounds a week, maybe a bit more. I don't earn a lot but i would rather she had the money than me spend it on me. I was nothing but nice to her as i figured this way, even if we didn't get back together in the future, i knew that i didn't do anything wrong and i was a good guy.

Anyway, she has a new boyfriend now, i know a lot of people that know him and apparently the guy is an idiot - a real player, very possessive and a total douche. Everyone was telling me she will realise what a mistake she's made but i figured it was up to her to make her choices.

She called me up crying yesterday as she failed her driving test so i went ahead and booked her another one - 70 pounds - i know you may think i'm silly but like i said, even though she had left me, i wanted to make sure she was ok.

Anyway i got a call from her just now and she said she doesn't think we should speak or be friends anymore. I was confused but she said it's not fair on her new boyfriend. So she can't be friends with me after 4 and a bit years??

I don't know what to do or think. I'm so pissed / upset. After all i have done.

Nice guys do come last don't they? thanks for reading

and this thread as well. No way. No one has this much drama fall into their laps. Now he is a 27 year old pediatrician. With a tongue ring and an eye brow piercing? How did a 27 year old become a pediatrician?
B.S, any major with a "pre med" checklist. (common choices are Biology, Liberal Studies and Chemistry) 4 years

M.D., (or D.O) 4 years

Residency: Pediatrics. 3 years

If you want to do a specialty within Pediatrics (i.e. Pediatric Emergency Medicine) you'll have to do a fellowship after your Residency, so it will then take more than 11 years. 11 f'ing years. So he started university when he was 16 and started practicing two months ago? Naw.
Guys we have been had and the Op is a total liar. You can continue the conversation of course, but this never happened.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 119 (view)
 
Asking for rent money after 2 weeks? Am i in the wrong?
Posted: 3/2/2012 8:45:14 PM

I'm back :)

Just for the record, I never heard from the girl again, but she's updated her profile on here. Poor, poor guys, i feel sorry for whoever meets her next ...


Jeebus, OP, did you actually read your own thread? What do you think of what has been said here? What do you mean you feel sorry for the next guy she meets? Have you not noticed that more than half the posters believe that you are the issue here?
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
meeting before name and numbers?????
Posted: 3/1/2012 10:53:13 PM
There are several different schools of thought of using POF. Some believe that a few quick messages should then lead to a quick meet and greet. Even that day.
Others think that a few messages should move to IM, Facebook, texting or phone. others say message for a few days or a week or so and then phone meet. Some believe that you should wait a month or more and be half married before meeting.

I will say that asking to meet in the first message and you have noteven responded yet is too quick. But to each their own. You will date in whatever way that you feel comfortable dating. Frankly, I would imagine that his M.O. is simply spam as many women as he can and just ask them out hoping for that one 'YES" in a thousand.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do men want a woman to lie to make him feel needed?
Posted: 3/1/2012 9:55:09 PM

And all of that second-guessing anothers intentions is why Finding and maintaining a compatible long-term SO relationship IS
the second greatest challenge in life..
Success there REQUIRES sharing about 50% power/control with another imperfect human being like yourself...


Well said sir.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Do men want a woman to lie to make him feel needed?
Posted: 3/1/2012 9:41:35 PM
Some men do, many men don't. As to yours no one here can possibly say as we do ont know him and the scenario you give is too vague. What I DO know however is this. You apparently cold busted him lying to you. From there the rest should not matter.

If you come to the conculsion that some men need a dependent woman to feel needed, the question becomes do you want a man like that?

but the issue is that he is lying about his activity on a dating site. he is lying period. are you okay with that in your relationship?

Your friends could be wrong or right, but in the end what are you willing to put up with?
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Need Some General Advice
Posted: 3/1/2012 9:28:14 PM
Salute your shorts and the post above him gave you some good (GREAT) advice. I will follow that up.

You are young. You can change this. The issue is essentially you have little social ability and try to make up for that by being polite, well mannered and accomadating. None of those things make up for fun and interesting.
Well how do you change that? It takes some work, but the process is a simple one. you conciously start to work on yourself. Start by going to the gym. Start eating right and excersizing at the gym. Start to read. Not just sci-fi geek stuff, but best sellers and the paper. Read the pare for 30 min everyday. Not just the sports section. go to a hair salon and have the hair dresser style you. Her choice. Have a female friend (your age) go out with you and help buy you a few outfits. Take an improve class.

Why?
Well, going to the gym is two fold. obviously making yourself look better is gonna help. But the confidence that it builds is amazing, plus the gym is a very social place. You will develop friendships there and talk to women. You will also find that after a while you will feel comfortable there in a no pressure surrounding where you know your stuff. Reading? You want to be able to talk to people. Expand your maind and get new and different perspectives oon the world around you. KNOW what is going on in the world around you. Quiet as it's kept, a smart man is VERY sexy. Women appreciate a man that is intelligent, well read and knowledgable. You don't have to be a genuis or be able to recite the periodic table, but to understand what is going on in the current GOP Primaries, or have an understanding of what is going on in Syria right now or your local politics or any general knowledge stuff is a great way to stay in conversations. You have a bowl cut son. I don't claim to know the current styles of youth, but that is not cool. Get a look that compliments your face. Nothing that requires to much effort. the hairstylist will know what to do. Not a barbar, a hair salon.
Same with clothes. You don't have to change everything. Just a few rules to follow and understand what fits you well and what doesn't and why. To be able to have some real decent stylish clothes and a wardrobe that fits you properly will work wonders on you. And last but not least the imporve class. You want to find something to help you break out of your shell and talk to people on the fly. That is literally a class that teaches you how to do that. It's fun to boot!
But to put it all together, this time next year... you have put on ten pounds of muscle and are looking great. You are dressing a little sharper and your cloths are accentuating that new chest and big arms and you have a great hair cut. Bam a basic make over!! You have developed new friends and a new confidence from going to the gym. When you get out and actually talk to a girl now you are not stammering for something interesting to say, because you are pretty aware of many of the things that are going on around you from the scandal with the Governor, to the art exibit that is opening up next week. Oh and you just read the second Game Of Thrones book? I love George R.R. martin's work! Plus you can tell a joke and carry a conversation thanks to the improve class helping you to open up. that and you now have an interesting hobby to talk about. yes you take an improve class. You have been taking it for a year now. You even may do a show next spring with them. Hey wanna try this silly excersize that we do?
Do you get it? You can put in the work today to be a much more confident man with the social skills that you lack tomorrow. Does it sound calculating? Yup. but that is how it works. Become interesting.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
what dose this mean to you
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:57:14 PM

Are you sure you weren't spanking the monkey and you heard someone shout "You are in sight of the window?"


Bwahahahahahahahahhaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahaha!!
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Valentines Day
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:33:31 PM
Firsts off, I did not call YOU ridiculous. I said this is ridiculous. As in this situation is ridiculous. There is a huge difference. Secondly, I did not go 'postal'. No swearing, name calling nor ranting in there. But I did talk to you honestly and bluntly. I did make it clear that some of the other posters were being ridiculous. Anyways,
How do you figure that he is not interested? He went out with another woman on Valentine's Day. So what. You have not met him yet.
Here is some perspective... it's not like YOu contacted HIM on Valentine's Day either!! How insane would it be if he is on some other thread somewhere going on about how this girl that he messaged for several days did not message him on Valentine's Day? She is 'clearly' not interested.
It would be pretty sturid huh?
I say that this is ridiculous because there comes a point when as an adult you are expected to stop playing games with people, stop expecting entitlements and princess treatment from strangers and put forth effort. To give the same effort that you expect. To actually TALK to the other person instead of create fantasies about what happened. To be reasonable about situations and not simply assume the worst of people.
What ever reasons that YOU felt that YOU should not bother contacting him on Valentine's Day probably can apply to him. For all you know he has a kid and spent the day with them.

Bottom line, You, me, nor anyone else here knows what he did and since he has no commitment to you and you have never met him, you have no reason to be upset here.
I call the folks that accuse him of being hens in the hen house because you obviously liked this guy. Who knows, he may have a very valid reason for being out of touch (My mother had a mild heart attack and was in the hospital that day) and may have wanted to contact you. But rather than say it could be anything, they are clucking about how he is betraying you or his wife and wrecking whatever could be... just to cause drama.

OP, take a deep breathe and think this through. If some great guy had called you up and asked you out on Valentine's would you have said yes? Does it make you not interested? If your girl friends had called you up and siad let's go hang, would you have said yes? Does it make you less interested in him?
Of course not. You are making something out of nothing and so are they.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Valentines Day
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:09:59 PM

But wouldnt an uncommitted man want to contact someone who he was interested in on Valentines day at least once if nothing else....I blocked him obviously...but Im wondering if I was too harsh or unreasonable...


Good grief, this is ridiculous. Possibly the most ridiculous post I have seen all week. You say that he is not committed to you. That means he is free to talk to and date whom ever he wishes. Heck if I read correctly, you have not actually met him yet.
Let me tell you exactly what happened. He spent Valentine's Day with someone else, which is PERFECTLY REASONABLE. He is single. You are single.Just because YOU did not do something on Valetine's Day does not mean that he is obligated to contact you.
You are not right. You have no expectation from a person that you have no commitment to, muchless have never even met. He spent time with a different woman. Girlfriend? Who knows, but if he is single he may have just gone out on a date wityh another woman and why shouldn't he? Why in the world would you even care? Why would you have blocked him? Exactly what is it that he did wrong? A person that you have never met before did not wish you a 'Happy Valentine's Day" and you lose your mind!?! Frankly despite the clucking hens in the hen house shouting that he must have a girlfriend you were unreasonable.

And for the said clucking hens... Look, it was VAlENTINE"S DAY!! While who knows if he has a girlfriend or not, every single person that can is trying to get with someone that night. It is perfectly reasonable for a single guy to date someone on that day. It is perfectly reasonable to NOT contact someone that you have a purely messaging (And not even text) relationship with.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Asking for rent money after 2 weeks? Am i in the wrong?
Posted: 3/1/2012 4:47:22 PM

That being said, she might have lost interest as soon as he paid her rent because she no longer respected him.

Sorry. The OP NEVER claimed that she was interested in him. The OP claimed they went out on a single date to a nice (read EXPENSIVE) restaurant. he then offered her a couple of hundred bucks. I would suspect that the girl was not actually interested in him. Also men throwing money at women because they do not feel that they are able to attract them in any other way IS insecurity and low self esteem.


I've heard a thousand ducks go "Quack!"; I don't need to listen to 1,001 to know that it'll make the same sound...



I've never been a believer in, "If others behave like shits, that gives me carte blanche to be a shit myself." I guess I'm weird that way...

Oh my Gawd. We AGREE!!! I must have accidentally wandered into Bizzarro world!!

But he is correct. Our moral compass should not be dictated by the behaviour of others. What is right is right despite what other people do. His behaviour was WRONG from top to bottom. It does not become okay just because she did not treat him how he felt he should be treated.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Asking for rent money after 2 weeks? Am i in the wrong?
Posted: 2/29/2012 10:56:26 PM

I'm really shocked that so many of you aren't thrilled that he got his money back. She needs to learn that she can't treat people like crap. And for all those that think her situation was genuine and it was merely a coincidence that she dumped him a couple of days after he paid her rent, maybe someone can tell me why she didn't offer to return the money when she dumped him, since she knew that he forked over a lot of money for her benefit. Any person with a shred of integrity would have offered to return the money as soon as possible and make repayment arrangements with the person ASAP. I, for one, am delighted that he got his money back. She used him, plain and simple. If he had done nothing, that woman would have continued to try to dupe other men into paying her bills and then kicking them to the curb. Maybe this way she'll learn a lesson.


I am sorry but you miss the point here. Several actually. No one is thrilled that he was not a victim. no one wants to see him ripped off. but that is not the OP's question nor issue. He was wrong to loan her money at this point in the relationship. Frankly he never even said he loaned her the money, he said that he OFFERED the money. that means that she did not actually ASK him for the money and may mean that it was a gift and not a loan. but let's assume that it was a loan and NOT a gift.

She needs to learn that she can't treat people like crap.

Let us be clear. She did NOT treat him like crap. he treated himself like crap. as in he had no respect for himself in thi situation.
To quote Female Connection...
Im not sticking up for the lady in the OP...however, she is not the one asking if she played a role in this-he is.

His actions, of paying her rent with a string attached (be nice to me or else) is wrong.


He offered to pay her bill. the reason that he offered to pay her rent for her was to make what he felt would be a positive move romantically. He felt that she would treat him in a particular way romantically because he ponyed up some cash for her. When she did not do this he became frustrated then irrate with her.

I called up the housing place and paid it for her. So she says thanks and invites me over last Saturday for some dinner. I get there and she just spent the ENTIRE evening on her laptop on Skype talking to her sister. about rubbish. Literally i was just sitting there twidling my thumbs. I ordered us some food and during dinner, the same thing, just on Skype.

I decided enough was enough and went to go home, especially as it was over an hour's drive each way

This is not a person that was scammed and now needs to teach someone else a lesson. This is a person that uses his finances to aquire position with women. The Op has a history of doing this and posting about it in the forums.

I was with my ex girlfriend for 4 years and we had a really good life together. We had a house and a dog, we would travel, i was a good boyfriend. I would do our washing, meals etc, i thought everything was good.

I was her first boyfriend and she got to the point earlier in the year where she felt maybe she was a little young, maybe she was missing out on other things etc - she moved out, i helped her find a new place to live and got her a tv and stuff.

Since then we have spoken quite a bit and deep down i was honestly hoping she would realise that " the grass isn't greener" and come back. She has found it a bit hard since she moved out and i have been helping her with money and stuff - she never asked me but i could see she needed a little help and i offered. I wasn't trying to buy her back, i just wanted to know she was ok and she had money for food etc.

I probably gave her about 50 pounds a week, maybe a bit more. I don't earn a lot but i would rather she had the money than me spend it on me. I was nothing but nice to her as i figured this way, even if we didn't get back together in the future, i knew that i didn't do anything wrong and i was a good guy.

Anyway, she has a new boyfriend now, i know a lot of people that know him and apparently the guy is an idiot - a real player, very possessive and a total douche. Everyone was telling me she will realise what a mistake she's made but i figured it was up to her to make her choices.

She called me up crying yesterday as she failed her driving test so i went ahead and booked her another one - 70 pounds - i know you may think i'm silly but like i said, even though she had left me, i wanted to make sure she was ok.

Anyway i got a call from her just now and she said she doesn't think we should speak or be friends anymore. I was confused but she said it's not fair on her new boyfriend. So she can't be friends with me after 4 and a bit years??

I don't know what to do or think. I'm so pissed / upset. After all i have done.

He is so pissed after all that he has done that she does not think that they should speak anymore. This is not a woman that is playing him. He deals with women this way. He fronts the cash and hopes for a romantic pay-off in return. When this does not happen he becomes upset. He NEVER says that these women ask him for the money. he OFFERS the money as he believes that it will keep them around...

Since then we have spoken quite a bit and deep down i was honestly hoping she would realise that " the grass isn't greener" and come back. She has found it a bit hard since she moved out and i have been helping her with money and stuff - she never asked me but i could see she needed a little help and i offered. I wasn't trying to buy her back, i just wanted to know she was ok and she had money for food etc.

I probably gave her about 50 pounds a week, maybe a bit more. I don't earn a lot but i would rather she had the money than me spend it on me. I was nothing but nice to her as i figured this way, even if we didn't get back together in the future, i knew that i didn't do anything wrong and i was a good guy.


The OP is the one in dire need of learning a lesson here. You do not loan/give people money in hopes that they will like you better. if he HONESTLY was doing these things to be a good guy then how ever she treats him after that is meaningless. He was not doing it to be nice. Point blank.... he paid her bill and expected that she would fawn over him in appreciation. That is UNETHICAL. When she did not fawn over him he had a hissy fit and took the money back. he did not stand up and take the money back by telling her. He secretly took the money back. Tell me, how does him loaning her 200 pounds translate into her having to be romantically interested in him?
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
So, i wrote this to a girl i like here. what do ya think
Posted: 2/29/2012 10:20:44 PM
...Well it's original and shows that you made an effort. She may find it funny or cute and it may open the door for you. Or she may grin and move on. While it is cute and shows some originality at least, the problem is this... You put all that effort in and she still knows exactly zero about you and has little reason to check your profile. frankly the shart reference may be a little much. So is the lovers bit. Some women will just find it presumptuous. It also is cut and paste stuff. To the pretty girl with the red hair and green eyes. To the pretty girl with the brown hair and brown eyes. To the pretty girl with the blond hair and brown eyes...

I believe that you would be better served using your efforts to actually introduce yourself and be INTERESTING to her than to try and be cute. It can work, but I prefer to attempt to generate interest from the first message rather than wait a few messages.

So what do I think, it beats the heck out of "Hi cutie!", but it is not great.
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Facebook People you may know
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:25:55 PM

I'd never add her as a friend out of the blue. That'd be ridiculous.


Sorry sir but you should re-read your opening post. you are in lust by this womans picture and possibly some minute information that means nothig and less. For all you know this woman is a raving lunatic that is evil, spiteful and just a b!tch. But you are taken with her picture. Believing that you may add her as a FB friend is not beyond something that you may do. Frankly had your response been different here, you would have friended her had this thread encouraged you to do so.

I would not even ask your friends about her. you are simply inventing this person in your head and the reality will doubtlessly be
 canam miles
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How do you make a conversation more interesting?
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:09:08 PM

Most of these girls have well thought out profiles it's just after like 10 messages or a few hours of texting the conversation just stops. I think that I cover most things and learn quite a bit but then they just start sending 2-3 word messages. "lol" "hahahaha" "oh ok." things like that do not add to the flow of a conversation.


WTF!?! Sorry sir but you are not having conversations. You are making a pen pal. What happened is they got bored of playing this game with you and save their efforts. pick up the phone and actually talk to them. Or better yet, make arrangements to meet in person. Why in the world would you text for a few hours instead of picking up the phone to talk to her? That is utter nonsense.
 
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