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 Author Thread: how would you define true love?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
how would you define true love?
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:19:16 AM
Truly loving someone means giving them the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to. Think about that seriously, it can apply to every "love" relationship you have. Whether it is with a parent, a child, a friend or a lover. Giving 100% of yourself is love, getting 100% from someone else is being loved back. Love with reckless abandon, the only things you regret in life are the things you didn't do or say. I really believe you can never love too much, even if it is given to the wrong person or misguided love, heartaches come and go, people come and go, the only thing that can go wrong is if you lose yourself in the process of loving someone else. If you can keep yourself and who you are in tact at all times then you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by loving as much and as deeply as you can. Sometimes that love won't be returned because the other person is just not capable of loving you the way you love them and that is the time when you have to love yourself more than you love them and walk away, love doesn't die it only changes. That may only sound like a bunch of cliches, but they are cliches for a reason, they are true.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Heart Ripped Out
Posted: 4/27/2007 1:54:03 PM
Sometimes I think it is a blessing in disguise when they just leave like that. My ex walked out on me by saying he was just going for a beer and never came back. Left all his stuff, no answers, no explanation, just gone. I can't say it didn't hurt, or that my ego wasn't extremely bruised, but I can say now that he did me a favour. Instead of being heartbroken about him I am looking at it like he showed me what kind of man he really was, which is a coward and a selfish child. It showed me what I refused to see when I was with him, what everyone else already saw that I made excuses for. So don't punish yourself, the best revenge is living and loving well. Move on and take it as a lesson learned.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
is it wrong to still think about first true love????
Posted: 12/10/2006 1:34:38 PM
I think if you truly loved someone that never goes away. It just gets buried and put away somewhere in your subconscious. Kind of like when someone dies, it hurts for a long time, but then you learn to live with it and put it in a place you can cope with it. So the relationship died but the feelings were real so they are always going to be there they are just not as intense and not a priority any longer. It is natural to think about people in our past and I think it would be weird if you didn't think a little more of someone you loved.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
how many chances should one person get?
Posted: 12/10/2006 1:23:03 PM
Stop giving right before you start losing who you are. If you still feel you have more to give and that they are worth giving it to, no one can decide that but you.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
how many chances should one person get?
Posted: 12/10/2006 1:22:39 PM
Stop giving right before you start losing who you are. If you still feel you have more to give and that they are worth giving it to, no one can decide that but you.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Fool Me Twice Shame on me
Posted: 11/24/2006 5:46:27 PM
Oh My God I just had to add this to the story because I just can't get over the nerve of this guy. So after I thru him out I made him leave his phone behind since I paid for it. Well tonight I was switching the sim card in the phone and found 3 phone numbers stuck in behind the battery of the phone. I decided this time to do something about it, so I called the numbers. One is his ex, and two are broads from this site, so I just let them all know what a loser this guy is. I can not believe how sneaky this guy is......it is certainly making it easier to get over him the more stuff I keep finding.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Fool Me Twice Shame on me
Posted: 11/24/2006 12:04:45 PM
Athletic2222: You are too funny....and you are right I really should have read the emails, memorized it and posted it all over the house....maybe then I would feel better and more empowered. But either way thank you for the advice everyone, I have stood by my decision, there will be no round 3 for this man. This isn't baseball and there are not 3 strikes before you are out. Game over.....moving on!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Fool Me Twice Shame on me
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:13:35 AM
That is exactly what I said to him. He knows I talk to some of my exes and that I talk to a lot of male friends....I never hide anything from him, that is what makes this hurt that much more is that I guess he doesn't feel that same level of trust with me. We promised each other this time would be different, that we would work thru anything and be honest with each other, we both agreed we wanted a best friend in each other, then all this. Yesterday when I told him it was over I just knew it was the right decision....so why today am I second guessing myself and missing him like crazy?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Fool Me Twice Shame on me
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:50:57 AM
Looking to see if I am crazy and completely overreacted, or if I am just finally getting the balls to stand up for myself.
About two months ago I got back together with an ex who had in the past seriously burnt me with his lies. He truly seemed like he had changed. His behaviours his attitude, his demeanor towards me and our relationship seemed like he had really grown up and realized what he had lost. Then a couple of days ago he was at my house and I noticed he had left himself signed in on this site, (which he told me he never came on anymore) and since it was up on my screen on my computer I also noticed he had several emails from one specific girl on this site. I never read the emails but I was very upset that he was even on this site let alone emailing one specific girl numerous times. We got in a huge fight about it, he swore it was all innocent conversation and nothing more, so I let it go. Till she called his cell phone....that I bought and pay for...what the hell? He gave out his number? or I guess I should say my number since it is on my bill on our family plan. Then that same day I find out he gave the number to his ex girlfriend as well. (who he swears he doesn't see or talk to anymore) Now just to get this straight I don't care who he talks to, I really don't...it's the sneakiness and the lying that bothers me....so I broke up with him, enough is enough...right?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Is kissing cheating...?
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:36:52 AM
Yes!!!! Any intimate contact with someone other than your partner is cheating.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 45 (view)
 
babe, darling, honey....etc
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:20:12 AM
I call everybody baby or peanut or pumpkin....it's just my way.....so anytime in a relationship
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
what is a player
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:18:04 AM
well a player can be many things.....he can be like my recent ex who kept emailing girls here on plentyoffish while being in a relationship with me, giving out his phone number to a cell phone I bought and paid for to these little girls.....but its likely that most real "players" would be smarter than that, considering he did it all from my home, my computer and my cell phone. Most "players" know the game a little better than that, they are sneakier, smoother, and have their lies organized from A to Z. A true player doesn't get caught, and if he does he talks his way out of it. If you feel like you are getting played, you probably are. Get out while the gettings good!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I made a huge mistake
Posted: 3/23/2006 8:13:31 AM
I made a huge mistake a few months ago. I pretty much moved in the man I was dating to my home. It was very very fast, like within weeks of starting to see each other. I have no idea why I did it. Maybe loneliness? Anyway....Previous to this relationship I had been in a 4 year relationship (not my childrens father) It ended really badly and when I met this new guy he seemed like a dream come true. About 2 weeks after he moved in, he told me he had a warrant out for his arrest and that he thought he should turn himself in, do his time and then be able to come back to me a free man and really make this relationship work. At this point I threw him out on his ass. I have a good career, and I have never been in trouble with the law so this totally freaked me out. Now here is the problem. My 7 year old son grew really attached to this man. I am not sure how or why, because he never grew this attached to the man I was with for 4 years, he liked him but it was never like this. He cried for two days when this guy left. He asks about him constantly, tells me he wants me to marry him so he could be his "real" dad (he has little to no relationship with his real father). I don't know what to do. The guy still wants to be with me, but has told me if I don't want him he still wants to see my son, take him fishing and stuff like that. I am really at a loss here for what to do. I am not even sure how I feel about this guy now that I know he has a criminal record (petty crimes but still) But of even more concern is do I let him continue to have a relationship with my son?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 153 (view)
 
How many of you would read your lovers private e-mail ?
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:49:18 AM
I did it. I am not proud of it, but I did it. He left his email open on my computer before he left for work. The temptation was too much for me to overcome. I was weak I admit it. But in my defence. I had suspected he was cheating for months. We had many confrontations about it, but I could never prove anything. The moment came when I could get the proof I so desperately needed to end 4 years of lies. I was right. It was all there in front of me. I threw his ass out and never looked back.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 235 (view)
 
AMERICAN IDOL.... WOOHOOOOOOOOO
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:17:27 AM
Mandisa is the only girl who can really really sing imo on the girls side, she makes the show worthwhile. However the guys have an amazing group this year. I am in LOVE with Chris Daughtry. He is absolutley the best male vocalist they have ever had in 5 years. Taylor HIcks is a doll too. I think he is so adorable. Unfortunately I think he is out of his element against someone like Chris. And if Ace keeps picking the kind of songs he does he might be a contender at the end of all this.
I am planning to audition myself for Canadian Idol and the new Rockstar season. Rockstar is more my element I think though. It is the one I am really hoping to make it on. Has anyone heard who the band is this year. I have heard rumours that it is Van Halen or Alice in Chains.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
my dog ate my used condom!!!
Posted: 12/8/2005 8:41:12 PM
When I still lived at home with my parents my ex and I used to have sex in the basement. We always flushed the evidence. My parents sewer backed up one night and there must have been a couple of hundred condoms floating around the basement floor. My ex was not welcome over anymore!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Pick up lines that really worked!
Posted: 11/26/2005 11:05:30 PM
see? Told ya it works
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Pick up lines that really worked!
Posted: 11/26/2005 10:53:05 PM
So....Ya Wanna Make Out? Works everytime!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Anyone ever tire of Dating?
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:33:06 PM
for sure...somedays it just feels like it isn't worth the bother....too many bad dates...not enough good ones...no one compatible with you...somedays you just wanna say screw it
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 131 (view)
 
ok you have said the youngest but whats the oldest you'd go
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:07:35 PM
37......10 yrs older is my limit
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 41 (view)
 
The age old question men like to ask?
Posted: 11/18/2005 8:06:04 PM
[Do you lie to men about the actual number? why?]

I have lied in the past. I would not lie now. I have no regrets.

[Are men obsessed with knowing your number?]

I have had a few men ask, only one that I would say was obsessed with it.

[When you tell them are they dissapointed no matter what and jealous?]

not that I knew of

[Do they ask about the other guys? What do they ask?]

I have been asked by men if they were the biggest I ever had....stupid question....of course they are!

[Have you ever told a man he broke your virginity because it was that time of month?]

That is just a dumb question...who would do that?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Calling your ex when your wasted
Posted: 11/15/2005 12:50:35 PM
Oh Thank God....I thought I was alone in the world of psycho drunk dialers. I need to have my phone surgically removed from my hand at the end of a bar night. It isn't just exes I call either....seriously just anyone. I talked to a wrong number from BC one night for 2 hours after the bar....Alcohol turns me into a minorly psychotic chatty cathy I think?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Too Early to put out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 9:28:58 AM
lol.....I know you don't "have to".....I WANT TO......when is it appropriate? When is it socially acceptable and not considered slutty?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Too Early to put out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 9:16:37 AM
I am not really concerned about being dumped per say......I am not talking about long term relationships here. I am simply talking about dating and when things "should" progress. I am a student and a very busy girl. I am not looking to get married anytime soon. I am just enjoying the dating scene. But because I have never really been a part of the dating scene...I have always been in long term relationships, I am not sure when it is "appropriate" for anything sexual to enter the picture. Is there really such thing as the "third date" rule?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Name the number one thing keeping you single..
Posted: 11/12/2005 12:20:49 AM
I am still single because I want what I can't have. I have always liked being the aggressor in my relationships. I like the thrill of the chase. When I catch my prey I throw it back and look for the next moving target. If it comes to easily there is no attraction for me. When I do find nice relationship ready men I wonder what is wrong with them and I set out on a mission of self sabatoge.....that should win me lots of dates on here!!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Too Early to put out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 12:08:25 AM
I am just wondering when is it to early to put out?
Do men always assume if you put out for them therefore you must put out for everyone?
I am a very sexual person. I don't sleep around, but if I feel the attraction and want to get down, why do men get all freaked out by that?
Is it that men are used to being the aggressors and aren't sure how to deal with a forward woman?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 60 (view)
 
I was eaten out for the first time!!!
Posted: 11/11/2005 10:37:45 PM
That was the FUNNIEST forum I have ever read....still laughing.....
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 50 (view)
 
What is the right way to tell someone you don't want to see them any more?
Posted: 11/11/2005 9:43:37 AM
I think it is just easier for people to play mind games when on a dating site like this. I have met quite a few people from POF and most of them were great guys that I will stay friends with. But there have been a few that were very dishonest about who and what they really were. Chalk it up to yet another learning experience and move on. Wasting time on someone who won't waste their time on you means you may just being missing time spent with the right one. They are out there!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Lust or Love?
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:59:24 PM
I just can not believe that anyone would actually prefer lust. Essentially we are all looking for love. Lust is nice but fleeting. Love is just much harder to come by. Love is harder to maintain. Love requires committment, dedication and hard work. Love is the end result not everyone is ready for. Lust is just passing time till someone makes you want to fall in love.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Life sucks ... tell me why
Posted: 10/21/2005 4:20:29 PM
Does it swallow too?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 31 (view)
 
fear of death
Posted: 10/21/2005 3:58:08 PM
I am not afraid of my own death. I just hope for it to be quick and relatively painless. However I am afraid of the people I love dying. I fear that intensely. Almost to the point that I withdraw from people out of fear of losing them.
( I grew up in a funeral home.....so I saw a lot of death) <-------justifying why I may be crazy!!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is there such a thing as a friend??
Posted: 10/19/2005 10:00:27 PM
Dangerous mind....I think the problem here is that this is a dating site. So most of the men on here...(I said most) are not looking for friends. They are looking for a partner. Although I agree with you a lot of them are just looking for sex, you do find the rare gem who is capable of holding a conversation for longer than 5 minutes without asking about your bra size.
I have met some really great men off this site....and I still talk to all of the ones I met.....so good luck.....don't give up.....you will find a nice one!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Dating someone who has a friend with benefits?
Posted: 10/19/2005 9:50:16 PM
I don't think it is appropriate to continue seeing your "friend with benefits" if you are dating one other person exclusively. But if you are not at the level in your dating cycle that you would use the term exclusive then there is nothing wrong with it. That is the point of dating. You don't know where it is going to go yet. So yes you are still free to see other people. ( and that includes friends with benefits or other platonic dates) I just think you need to be honest about it. Honesty is the whole concept I think most people are missing in the dating world.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
So you met them online, went out a few times but they're not your cup of tea.. what next?
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:04:12 PM
I would much rather someone say to me that I just wasn't their type or not what they were looking for then just disappear. That gives no closure and leaves you wondering what the hell happened. Yet of all the men I have ever dated only one was decent enough to say I really like you but I just don't see this going anywhere past friendship, and we are still really good friends to this day.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Strange things to be attracted by
Posted: 10/15/2005 11:07:06 AM
It's a strong jawline for me.....something very sexy about a man with a chiseled face.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 129 (view)
 
Why are you single?
Posted: 10/3/2005 3:31:55 PM
Because I have unrealistic expectations
Like I expect to.....
-feel a spark forever
-never be lied to
-never be cheated on
-want to wake up next to that person for the rest of my life
-have those feelings be mutual
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Save a horse ride a ............
Posted: 9/23/2005 9:03:27 PM
Save a tree....eat a beaver
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Ok Folks:Who is on your list of Canadian celebrities who HAVE sold us out & who HAS'NT sold us out.
Posted: 9/22/2005 4:20:55 PM
They didn't sell out....they bought in!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Not in a Relationship?? What is the One Thing you Miss Most?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:23:56 PM
It's been so long for me.....I forget who ties up who first?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What A Woman Wants
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:58:12 PM
What I want in a man, original list:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I want in a man, revised list (age 32):

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I want in a man, revised list (age 42):

1. Not too ugly (bald head okay)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I want in a man, revised list (age 52):

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I want in a man, revised list (age 62):

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I want in a man, revised list (age 72):

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Dreadful Questions?
Posted: 9/19/2005 3:35:14 PM
1. Where do you see this going?
2. How many people have you slept with?
3. Will you marry me?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Does Money Make The Man
Posted: 9/13/2005 3:02:29 PM
But is it not possible to have both....financial security and a good man who respects and appreciates me?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Does Money Make The Man
Posted: 9/13/2005 2:10:44 PM
Actually they say money is the number one cause of divorce...so how can it not matter?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Does Money Make The Man
Posted: 9/13/2005 6:13:16 AM
lol thanks swtnsssy...no I am not looking for a sugardaddy....I agree with you completely arrogance is a complete turn off. The big word here is CONTRIBUTE....I want somone to SHARE with not live off.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Does Money Make The Man
Posted: 9/13/2005 5:50:01 AM
Money alone could never define who I would date or not date. It is more about the fact that I do not want to have to support a man for any of the following reasons: he is lazy, he has no ambition, he has no will to succeed, he sees my income as a free ride. I want someone who can contribute to the things in life I enjoy. I am not looking for someone to support me ( I can do that on my own) I am looking for someone who can support himself...comfortably, and contribute to a certain type of lifestyle. There are many other qualities he needs to express as well.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Does Money Make The Man
Posted: 9/12/2005 4:46:21 PM
If he was the kind of man I am looking for he wouldn't be out of work for long! There is something about a man with ambition and drive that is very sexy. The kind of guy who will work his way up from the bottom, not just be satisfied with mediocre.
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Does Money Make The Man
Posted: 9/12/2005 4:40:37 PM
The new song by Kanye West "golddigger" is flying up the charts and this led to a discussion between myself and some friends regarding "gold diggers". I have recently been called a "gold digger" and I strongly disagree. This is why:
I think that most people have an idea in their head of what kind of lifestyle they want to live. There are 2 kinds of people after that.
The kind that go make that happen or the kind who don't.
I have an idea of what kind of lifestyle I want to live. I have worked very hard (on my own) to achieve that, so why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to work as hard as I do, or who doesn't want the same lifestyle I do?
Now I don't just date men because they have money, but I do look at the fact of whether they have any goals, ambitions, plans....to make a good lifestyle for themselves and their family or not? I make decent money, and when I am done my education I am going to make better then decent money, so does the fact that I want to build a life with someone in the same tax bracket as me make me a golddigger?
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Best Concerts ever !!!
Posted: 9/10/2005 9:34:09 AM
I saw Slayer years ago, I was still in high school...wasn't really my thing at the time...just went with some friends who were into it....but after seeing them live ....totally into it!
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Best Concerts ever !!!
Posted: 9/10/2005 9:27:18 AM
dud and I seem to go to all the same shows.....I went to the crue in August...it was Awesome....I loved Sars Stock and I completely agree...AC/DC stole the show...
 singdiva78
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Cruise Finals for the contest...
Posted: 9/4/2005 3:59:48 PM
Thanks everyone!

Look forward to seeing everyone there....btw...do I have to sing it? lol
 
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