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 Author Thread: Right time to ask where she wants the dating to go
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Right time to ask where she wants the dating to go
Posted: 4/6/2014 9:21:46 PM
are you sure?? because exactly one month ago today you posted about your FIRST date with this girl.

That's one of the most ridiculous comments I've seen on the entire internet.



To OP, as long as you've discussed being exclusive, I wouldn't say anything.
Think of what she could say. "I want to marry you and have your kids." Um, way too soon to be saying something like that.
"I dunno, was thinking of finding a rich man when I got tired of you." Relationship ruined.
Get the point? No good can come from asking that question. Other than making sure you two are exclusive.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What does it mean when a girl tells you , you have no game
Posted: 4/6/2014 12:29:16 PM
No, you still don't have any game, but that doesn't matter. She just liked you, and she ****ed you. She got what she wanted. You didn't get what you wanted. Ergo, no game.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Are all prostitutes the same?
Posted: 4/5/2014 7:49:50 PM
"Every boy pays for kisses. Do you know what I am saying? If you've got a girl, and she kisses you, sooner or later you're paying for it. You've gotta take her out to lunch, take her to a movie, and then spend time listenin' to all her stupid problems."
-Butters
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Have you ever been approached by someone interested who later rejected you?
Posted: 3/11/2014 3:50:11 PM
Are you really saying every girl that wants to go on a date with you, should end up marrying you??

I'm going to give it to you straight. They were only attracted to your looks at first, wanted to get to know you better, then realized they didn't like your personality.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 52 (view)
 
I saw a text message in my boyfriends cellphone
Posted: 3/3/2014 1:25:55 PM
Guys asking about if she's "the one"?
I think you should be happy with what you read.

Even if a guy was 100% sure the girl is "the one" I can almost guarantee he'd tell his friends "likely not" if they asked.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is it normal is obsess?
Posted: 2/16/2014 3:46:07 PM
I think it depends on the situation and the level of "obsession." I think a lil "obsession" is a good thing and shows you have feelings, and last I checked feelings are a good thing that many are lacking nowadays. Now when you stay obsessed after a rejection, or resort to stalking, yeah it becomes a problem. Or if you're becoming obsessed with girls for no apparent reason.

That first girl probably shouldn't of "gone out" with you if she had a boyfriend. Also, having the same taste in music and movies is a rather superficial way to have a lot in common.

now for the second, are you saying you waited a week and a day to contact her? or just a day? and all you said was "good evening?" Now waiting a week is a good thing, or so I've heard. BUT it's only good if the women has a rather strong attraction to you already. and you gotta send a better message than "good evening."

I believe most women want to be obsessed over a little bit. Who wouldn't want to hear, "I haven't been able to get you out of my head." But at the same time, it could be easy to go overboard, and say something like, "omg I want to be with you forever."
You see it's a fine line, but I think there's nothing wrong with "obsession" as long as you are in control of your emotions.

And I put quotes on "Obsession" because it's the name of a song lol, a decent song at that.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 176 (view)
 
Has anybody been dumped for stupid reasons
Posted: 2/15/2014 2:46:55 PM
My girlfriend of two years got into an argument with me when all I was trying to do was plan a nice date night. Granted, things had been going downhill for a while, but it was still absolutely ridiculous.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Handjob Lover
Posted: 2/7/2014 10:14:13 AM
There's nothing like a 'nice ol' fashioned."
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 27 (view)
 
He's been caught
Posted: 2/7/2014 10:08:51 AM

I think it is funny that men get into committed relationships tell you they love you, want to marry you, and have your babies but they are out screwing around "spreading their seed".

Whoa, any guy saying those things, save the love part, within a year of dating someone is most likely lying and playing you. And was this guy you've been dating for 2.5 months saying those things? Or are you talking about other guys who dated you longer?
I mean, you yourself said he had been acting shady from the start, yet you stuck around?

Look, I do feel bad for you. I think cheating is a terrible thing, and there is no excuse. But it seems like you know full well what you are doing.

There's a very simple solution to figuring out if a man is a liar or the real deal....WAIT TO HAVE SEX.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Need a little advice.. emotional/verbal abuse?
Posted: 2/5/2014 7:38:23 PM
Sounds like he's a very immature person. But that's to be expected from a guy playing LoL(correct me if I'm wrong). The players in that game have a horrible reputation for being immature whiny brats, pretty much all of em, so I've heard.
Mature players, and real men, play DOTA.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
I don't have time to date?
Posted: 1/17/2014 5:19:26 PM
I'm pretty sure that almost always means, "I don't have time to date (you)."
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Cancels account suddenly?
Posted: 1/17/2014 5:10:46 PM
Just make a "fake" email account and message her. You don't really have anything to lose that way.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
anxiety help
Posted: 1/15/2014 4:45:48 PM
3) What's the difference between asking a girl out and getting rejected versus not asking a girl out at all?
Nothing. Same exact result, but you won't ever get dates if you don't try.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Why do girls not want anything serious with me?
Posted: 1/14/2014 3:49:15 PM
I thought everyone knew that when girls say one thing, they actually mean another thing?
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Ok if you do Not like to give oral sex explain why an do you expect it in return?
Posted: 1/14/2014 2:37:37 PM
"a survey that less than 30% of women like to give, compared to over 80% of men who do."
Sounds right to me. You old people gotta remember you're old, and don't represent the majority anymore. I know your generation didn't do much oral, but mine, particularly the men, are much more into it.
Now, surveys like that are usually given to college aged people, so that number is probably a little inflated for the general population, but for my generation I don't doubt it for a second.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Trying to figure this online dating stuff out.. Getting disappointed.
Posted: 1/12/2014 8:52:53 PM
You seem like an emotional person. I think that's a good thing, but you really gotta suppress your emotions on dating sites. You have to think of them as pixels until you meet. Otherwise you're in a for a world of hurt.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I'm rather confused as to why people seek relationships.
Posted: 1/9/2014 7:50:24 PM
Look, you got your own beliefs, and I'm not about to tell you what you should think. But I will point out this:
A HUGE part of your argument, really what your entire argument is based upon, is wrong. "Children can be controlled by means of correct environments." Many psychologists have tried to control children. You just can't control people like you suggest.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 12/26/2013 1:31:39 PM
I always find it funny when people talk about definitions of things on the internet. The reason being there are always people who have some weird understanding of commonly understood phrases.

So many people in this thread specifically are assuming hang out means going to someone's house. When you can hang out anywhere. All it really means is let's do something together. You can "hang out" with guys or girls. It implies friendship, not romantic interest. Of course, hanging out can lead to dating. But they shouldn't be used interchangeably.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 156 (view)
 
I'm 25 yrs old, He is 50 yrs old....can it work???
Posted: 12/6/2013 1:57:01 PM
I heard about the "half your age+7" rule a few months ago. I think it's a pretty good rule. There's something strange with a 25 year old dating a 50 year old. But a 32 dating a 50 year old, doesn't seem nearly as bad.
Think of it this way. A 25 year old is going to fit in at pretty much any bar. But a 50 year old is going to be looked at as the old guy. Now a 32 year old is going to be at the age where they start appearing to be significantly older than others in the bar. That 32 year old is much closer mentally, physically, and emotionally to a 50 year old.

I have a degree in psychology so this sort of thing kind of interests me.
I know I'm mature for my age(24). But anyone saying they are mature enough to date a 50 year old at my age is obviously very immature and naive.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
People who never smile in their photos
Posted: 11/11/2013 9:21:10 AM

I don't trust non smiler, or worse are the ones w/ murderous glances. UGH! What is wrong w/ people? Are there so many desperate people that they are willing to meet people who look insane or serial killer-ish???

Yeah let's judge a book by its cover...
Nevermind the fact that many serial killers have been attractive and charming.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
excuses when askin for a date
Posted: 11/6/2013 4:16:47 PM
Surprised no one has said this yet....

If she gave you her number, and then it seems like she doesn't want to meet....it's most likely she gave out her number to other guys and has a date with one of them, or possibly met someone irl. Either way, there's most likely another guy in the mix.
I know because a similar situation as you laid out, happened to me. But after I asked her what was going on, she admitted to going out with another guy.

Are some people very busy and actually don't have time? Sure. But if I had to guess 90% of the time it's going to be what I said.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 11/1/2013 1:58:31 PM
To view all women who have been abused in the past the same way, is the same as viewing all black people the same.
It's stereotyping and everyone is different.

Now based on this thread, it's obvious there are some general categories though. People can be abused violently, sexually, or emotionally(And I'm not talking about, "omg he broke my heart", I'm talking extreme emotional abuse. I've seen some of you equate life problems to this, and that's just stupid). There are some people who recover fully, and are normal people save the memory. There are some people who keep a severe distrust, and borderline hatred, if not full hatred, of men. Then there are some who overcompensate, and act super-confident all the time. Then some just go full on crazy. There are some that still have some problems but are more than capable of forming a healthy relationship. I'm sure there are other ways people cope, but those are what I think are the big ones.
I have to say, if you're going to avoid any, avoid the ones who overcompensate. That's in my experience, dated someone who was physically abused by an ex, and she definitely overcompensated. They didn't really fix their problems, they just glossed over them, and they will come up at some point. They're the ones who will compare you to the abuser at some point, when you've done nothing wrong. The relationship may seem great at first, but it will spiral....and what may seem like small problems will just get worse and worse.

Let's not judge people differently if they were abused in the past. Judge people on their character and actions. But let's not pretend that some people aren't "damaged goods." Based on my past experience, I'm going to be very cautious if someone tells me they were abused in the past, I know I won't be able to help it. But you should do as I say, not as I do.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Should have I kissed her?
Posted: 10/31/2013 5:59:24 PM
I usually say yes to that question, but in this case probably not.

Now, if I had to guess, she was expecting you to try to kiss her, and probably wouldn't of made a big deal out of it, worst being she backed off. but you still made the right call, because it shows you respect her wishes about just going as friends.
I think that whole "co-workers can't date" thing is kind of silly, unless of course your work has a specific rule about it.
If you do want to date her, ask her out again *on a date.* "Hey, want to go on a date with me this Friday?"
Did you guys have a fun time talking? Did it go well? Did she seem to be happy? Do you actually want to pursue it?
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Why men ask women about jobs, money on the first message?
Posted: 10/29/2013 2:58:21 PM
Well you do have "Other" listed as a profession. Seems like a good question to ask to clarify what other means.
And really, it's a pretty common conversation opener. I know when I'm at the bar, whether talking to a male or female, the most common question I get asked first, other than my name, is, "what do you do for a living?"
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 33 (view)
 
testing the waters
Posted: 10/29/2013 2:49:42 PM
Not quite sure why so many people are criticizing him for the act of conducting this "experiment."

I mean hasn't everyone sent different kinds of messages to kind of see what works best? Or are all of you who have criticized him sent the same exact message to everyone?

Let's criticize his findings, and flaws in his "experiment," not that he actually did it.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
testing the waters
Posted: 10/28/2013 7:27:58 PM
Are you sure it's not because you're sending unique messages...not necessarily that they are sarcastic.
I'm sure most messages people receive are either "hi" "whats up", or the types of polite responses you have been sending.
Sometimes there are other variables at play. It might not be that they are sarcastic, per se, but rather they are just out of the norm and interesting.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Spotting and dealing with a tease
Posted: 10/28/2013 3:02:55 PM

^^^^Umm, but did you forget that she stood him up?

She kind of made it clear that they were playing it by ear, and there was a chance the date wouldn't happen.

We're only getting his side of this. If I had to guess, he said something a little more insulting than what he posted.
Even if he said EXACTLY what he posted, what if she had an actual reason for not going to the date? Then what he said would be viewed as VERY insulting.

Now to address the topic of a "tease."
A lot of what women do is completely indistinguishable from a "tease." It's the intent behind it and end result.

If she was a tease....it seems strange that she would invite a group of people out. That's not their aim. This leads me to believe the OP insulted the girl, who really was interested in him.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
women prefer love over respect, men see no difference?
Posted: 10/16/2013 5:39:51 PM
I don't get how you could love someone and not respect them. That's just not love.
Now if by "love" they mean put up with their bullshit, maybe so.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Contacts compatibility
Posted: 10/14/2013 3:39:24 PM
Yep, must've passed them up the first time I looked at the list. Met them in person, and happened to look at the list again that same night, and there she was.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Should I message her again
Posted: 10/12/2013 2:14:19 PM

sent a message asking if she was back yet and got no reply.

You shouldn't have asked her if she was back yet. you should have asked her on an date, and not hiking again. Yeah, you guys should continue hiking, but as it stands you have NOT asked her on a date yet....
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 60 (view)
 
What to do when girl is not into me after 1st date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 8:42:35 PM

Oh yeah! LOL! I blocked her from Facebook and also Ignored her from LinkedIn too :D

Are you 27, or 17?
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Reading these forums caused breakup with GF
Posted: 10/3/2013 7:35:25 PM

I told her that the people on the forums are much different than the people on the dating side of POF and have some damn good advice.

Eh I'm not so sure about that. A lot of people here seem like hyperboles of the dating site.
And the advice they give is always the same rehashed material, that circulates amongst the online dating community.

What your girlfriend did is pretty strange. Now did she find out you visited the site, before you told her? That's the only thing I could think of to explain it.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
computers communicating better?
Posted: 10/2/2013 9:35:56 PM
You know what they say, never say never.

Right now A.I. is pretty impressive. You already can have conversations with some programs. Took a class on AI. There's even ones kind of like the one you're talking about in the OP. I have no idea how advanced those ones are though, I just know they exist.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Is it ok to show up at my mans house unannounced??
Posted: 9/25/2013 5:17:36 PM
That guy got upset that he easily could've got caught cheating.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 44 (view)
 
What are you thinking ??
Posted: 8/27/2013 9:24:28 PM

IME, after sex, the mind is clear and my intellect and hers can really break new grounds in thinking, together. After sex I think of global dynamics, the meaning of life, the future of capitalism,


So what you're saying is.....
"Honey, what are you thinking about?"
"How to end world hunger."
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Im Not attracted to good girls, Why???
Posted: 8/27/2013 9:18:12 PM
You got a #$$^ing problem.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 581 (view)
 
Women...would you pay for sex with a man?
Posted: 8/27/2013 5:39:13 PM
It's funny how so many of the people acting disgusted and staying things like "NO WAY! HELL NO, I can get it for free," are people I wouldn't bang unless they paid me a lot. My standards aren't even that high. This is sure to draw some criticism, but it's true.
Most women are so full of themselves.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is POF pretty useless at child free dating, or am I just in a crappy region of the country?
Posted: 8/27/2013 5:26:54 PM
Something like 90% of people reproduce at some point in their life.

I'm curious what age of guys you are talking to, if they are asking about that. I just can't imagine guys in your age range would ask about that.

On a side, it's kind of funny reading some of the responses to your question. It's obvious they didn't actually read what you wrote, and just the title.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
A girl said I sound sad.
Posted: 8/23/2013 6:03:50 PM
I think she just meant your voice sounded sad.
and if she stops talking to you, then you not talking much might have been a problem. but until then, maybe you should just talk a little more on the phone.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Walkouts. What to do? Have they happened to you?
Posted: 8/16/2013 4:33:48 PM

I do know someone who met a women and she informed him half way in of her rates.

Um, what do you mean by "half way in?"

Because if you mean "half way in" to a date...well wouldn't the date be over after she brought that up? and then it's not really "half way in" to a date.

And the other "half way in" makes a lot of sense in this context, or lack there of.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Am I a bad date magnet?
Posted: 8/7/2013 8:18:51 PM

Frankly, for 90% of guys I am ideal gf material

eh, most guys don't like girls who are full of themself.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Testing my IQ...
Posted: 8/5/2013 4:13:20 PM
It's a question of ethics, not IQ.
and they have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 45 (view)
 
POF Profile Translations
Posted: 7/31/2013 12:39:31 PM
look at all the people taking this thread seriously.
What's wrong with you people?

If a woman says how much she likes sports, she's really a dyke.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 53 (view)
 
My first bad date
Posted: 7/28/2013 7:47:30 PM

Quite a surprise to see how many posters are going after the OP.......

I'm surprised how many people are supporting him...

He whined because a girl punched his arm. I can't believe more aren't calling him a wuss.
If a drunk girl punches your arm, heck even not drunk, it means she likes you. I highly doubt she was being abusive or trying to hurt the OP.
And this guy cried about it and treated her poorly, when she was just showing him some affection.

I really don't understand how anyone can support the OP.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
 
The drama never ends, need advice
Posted: 7/28/2013 12:06:46 PM
It sounds like he was complicit. In fact, if he never told you it was illegal, I'm fairly certain he would be the one to get in trouble with the law, not you.
"he would and could keep me on his work insurance."
If that's what he actually said to you, then he's the only one who will go down.

But it seems like you're leaving things out to make yourself look better.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
A man with ED? Questions please give info.
Posted: 7/26/2013 4:21:53 PM
A real man doesn't even need to use his****to get a woman off.

I don't know if that answers your questions, but that's my thought on the matter.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Still need to ask her dad for her hand in marriage?
Posted: 7/26/2013 4:15:44 PM
I have to say....I'm pretty old fashioned when it comes to dating....but I'm just not asking a girl's dad for her hand in marriage. I think it's kind of stupid, and it's completely outdated. It's from a by-gone era, and its purpose doesn't apply to modern day times.
I suppose if a girl tells me her dad would shoot me if I don't do it, I would probably consider it.
Otherwise, nope, not doing it.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 19 (view)
 
My first bad date
Posted: 7/23/2013 10:07:59 PM

I bet if this thread was reversed, there would be a pity party for the woman.

Either sex; if you are going to be a jackass, then expect jackass treatment.

Um the only thing I can tell she did was punch him, in a most likely playful manner. Then HE acted like the jackass. If a girl punches me in the arm, I'm gonna be a man about it and laugh. Giving her a stern discussion to stop is just weak.
Maybe this guy is an awful story-teller, I don't know. But the way he told the story makes him seem like the jackass. Now maybe she got too drunk. Based on how he told the story, it's likely. BUT the only annoying drunk thing she did, afaik, is punch him...and now were back at the start about how that doesn't matter.

but you are right about the first part. It's completely different for a man to get drunk and punch his date. There are certain precedents in that situation that don't make it okay.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Now what?
Posted: 7/23/2013 9:50:40 PM

So what is the point of the post? He's gay and you were too broke to care?

She wanted us all to say she needed to leave him, so she wouldn't feel bad about it.

Bucsgirl post explains it in more detail, and I'm fairly certain she's spot on.
 jeremyd4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 37 (view)
 
8 years age difference in relationship
Posted: 7/23/2013 3:43:47 PM
So....they'll be getting married soon-ish?

P.S. 60-80k a year is well above average.
 
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