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 Author Thread: Does anyone actually LIKE being called well fit?
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Does anyone actually LIKE being called well fit?
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:12:04 AM
I'm not saying I'd date them but a compliment is a compliment.
I LIKE to be told nice things about my looks.
I'd like to be with someone who likes my looks AND personality etc but sigh sometimes I've worried I have the opposite
problem, I know I have a great personality & sense of humor but sometimes I wonder if they DON'T think I'm pretty too.
I'm a former ugly duckling so bring ON the compliments I say.
Hell my first ever boyfriend said I like you for your personality - I should have dumped him sooner don't be with me if you are not attracted!
but the others liked both.
It doesn't mean I'm going to date or jump into bed with everyone who compliments me (I wouldn't have time to even if I wanted to) but I HAVEN'T been complimented on
my looks all my life like some of you lucky people have :-( I actually feel a bit jealous! I've had a few beeps but no wolf whistles! It's a compliment for god's sake. I would LOVE
to be as beautiful as you all I would love to be seen as as beautiful as you all!
But I DO prefer being called beautiful.
My ex boyfriend called me beautiful & I realized I had not been called that enough!
A guy here said I'm a real cracker once and I had to look it up because I thought he was just saying I'm a white chick! But apparently it can also mean
Good looking!
But yeah for me I need looks & personality & compatibility so I understand you - & I - wanting to be sure they see that in us too or else what's the point!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 324 (view)
 
What puts you off messaging someone?
Posted: 4/5/2013 2:22:53 AM
"Travel Agents, or any job with the word 'agent' in it."

I dunno, if they were an MI6 agent
It might be interesting!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
what do girls like in first message?
Posted: 4/5/2013 2:19:13 AM

Guess not being some 6 foot bald roid head isn't what women want.


That really isn't what a lot of us want...but talking about looks, do you send emails to women you find unattractive?

EXACTLY

So don't moan at us ha ha

What is this "banter". I keep hearing about?!
I'm assuming it means teasing & being flirty but I've been in this city & country since late 2001 & I've NEVER heard that term banter before pof!
How do I enjoy it if I don't know what it is!!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is it me or are there double standards here?
Posted: 4/4/2013 11:14:53 AM
Reply with

NO!

Ha ha



Or

More!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 40 (view)
 
what do girls like in first message?
Posted: 4/4/2013 3:45:27 AM
Ha ha ha!!
Ow!


OK I'm putting this here cos I want to be a bit discreet even though most people here don't know about the forums.

What would you do?

Cute pof-er, messages you, is interested but still hasn't said much about themself. Is cute yes but is there anything in common. Wants to know their chances
but it's hard to say without knowing more about them. Have exchanged a few messages but still don't know much??

By the way
Is it uncomfortable to sit with a - you know??
I probably shouldn't ask but I get curious about these things at times ha ha!
 Athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Funniest profile
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:56:32 PM
WHICH half of a bloke?!

Ha ha
(Sorry kidding! Couldn't resist)
 Athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
An attempt at a poem (so so) There you go again
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:44:28 PM
There you go again
Leaving silly messages for me
That say so very little
Another bit of mediocrity

I smile and think now
What will I reply, something with wit?
Another shot at humour
I wonder if you'll laugh if you see it

There you go again
Asking if I'm going to an event
I haven't yet decided
Am wondering why you ask, what's truly meant

There you go again
Seeing me you smile like you're happy
We talk, it goes OK but
After a while you turn and look away like
You'd rather talk to anyone but me

There you go again
We keep smiling so flirtatiously
You stand close listening carefully
But again you're with another, not me

And all it would take
If you want me back is just to say
So why is that so tricky
Why do you simply hint, silly games play?

Yes I ended it
But only cos I thought you didn't care
Now you act like you do
Are you faking or just overcome with fear?

There you go again
I know I'll hear from or see you once more
It seems to be your pattern
But don't you know it's stripping my heart raw?

There you go again
If you want me back please just say so
What are you hanging on for?
Acting like you don't want me to go?

There you go again
Soon I will get tired of your play
I know you miss me too
But why is that so hard for you to say?

I guess it's just the way
I hope you don't leave those words unspoken
What you really want to say
It's the key to mend my heart so broken

But will I ever hear
Words that could turn all of this around
and change our fate?
You'd better make it soon
Cos if you don't one day not long from now t'will be too late.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
(Poem) The Simple Joys In Life
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:16:47 PM
I LOVE this poem! Very positive & you are talented :-)
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 316 (view)
 
What puts you off messaging someone?
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:09:55 PM
What IS an activity partner by the way?
If for e.g. a bloke from here & I decide we are not attracted or one is other isn't but we both want to go bike riding for example or ice skating etc is THAT an activity partner?
Not that this has happened by the way, I'm just curious.

"A main pet hate is...

"Ask me"...... i think its lazy :O)"

Yes! Or "I will fill this out later" or just very little about what they like to do.
For me I want there to be mutual physical attraction but some compatibility - like common interests - is also important.

So if guys I find attractive message me but have said very little about what they like to do I've got to try to find all that out which is a pain...oh well!

 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 38 (view)
 
what do girls like in first message?
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:04:18 PM
"It's all down to that heady mix of whether they like your profile pic, personal specs and whether or not you sport a quiff, tight jeans and "work hard, play hard."

I had to google quiff!
Eh it suits some but there are other nice hairstyles too.
Ex bf going through a hat stage - is he going bald? Or just experimenting? - but it looks sexy so it's not the hairstyle but it can be nice if their hairsuits them.
Tight jeans can look nice esp. From the back but ha ha if he gets AHEM! "Excited" ;-) I guess it might be embarressing for the guy?!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Longest Relationship
Posted: 4/3/2013 12:57:21 PM
My relationship after my 10 year one was 3 months again so WHAT?!

"So whilst I wouldn't care whether they'd slept with 10 people or a hundred people, I would be concerned if they'd slept with people because they wanted someone to like them, or because they thought it was something they should do.

Even so, their attitude towards sex whilst they were with me, would take precedence over all of that. "

I agree!

And Shellydimples I think who cares how many or few people they've slept with - STDs & kids aside!! - I don't care if he's a virgin or he's had alot of lovers or a few or two or whatever!
And I'd not want to be judged on my sexual history either, I'm not saying if that's one guy, two, a handful or what because in fact I think it's irrelevant, personally. And I've decided that's MY business & ditto for the guy!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Do we/you discuss dating too much..?
Posted: 4/3/2013 8:57:41 AM
Love how you write graffiti post but PLEASE
I could get sex at least once a week if I wanted
while getting a 2nd date let ALONE a decent
boyfriend seems more elusive!
But it's all good, it will happen in the right time
& way & if it never does I'm still gonna make
the most of my life!
Like prepping for workshops getting work stuff
done seeing mates exercising in fun ways
hobbies interests travel etc.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Do we/you discuss dating too much..?
Posted: 4/3/2013 2:24:00 AM
I have recently started to be a bit more relaxed a about it hooray!

On ONE hand I was with the same guy for 10 years neither of us originate from the UK either & so now at times I feel I don't know what I'm doing
(Stuff like texting for e.g. Even online dating it's been years since I did that 16 years ago when some of it was writing letters with paper & pen!)
And I worry a bit about doing the "wrong" things & scaring a guy away. Also a lot of the dating advice I have is from the usa and yes we are in the uk here!

On the other hand I think at times I have let myself feel too downhearted about it - I figured out why recently & gave myself a pep talk also as I am not in the living situation or career I want it's not like I have this amazing life that distracts myself from it!

However I do have a job, friends, interest groups, back into exercising on the weekend etc & saving up to travel again so I'm trying to focus more on those things & really enjoy them rather than what I do not have and to really appreciate more & more what I do have.

Cos when I get too woe is me about it or read other's woe is me too much, I despair a bit & I need to snap the fcuk out of it!

I went on the travel section recently here & it's awesome.
Not into current events, find it depressing but yeah stuff about travel, people's interests, the guilty pleasures music thread was is fun!

I love that guys I do chat to/message from here don't seem to know about the forums cos I can post stuff about them (in a discreet non-identifying way heh heh!) but I haven't said a thing bad about them well mostly!

So yeah (rambling!) I feel like a babe in the woods what the hell am I doing at times cos of my 10 year break from the single life & now so much has changed!
But the diversity of topics & also living life anyway to the fullest regardless of the number of dates one does or doesn't have is very wise!
And a great way to meet potential dates, when you are getting on with it & enjoying life sometimes that is when you meet the hotties who also have the great personalities etc!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Longest Relationship
Posted: 4/3/2013 2:06:28 AM
I try not to judge.

I mean, I'm a divorcee (whose longest relationship was 10 years, 9 of them married) & I'd hate someone to judge me on that esp. as I initiated the divorce. One guy
here - also divorced - REALLY had issues with that! I think that one doesn't know the reason why a relationship lasts as long or short for another person & I base it on how
they are with me.

I was in a 10 year relationship & I was married but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm now seeking a second husband or just one night stands either.

I say it's about how they are with YOU but yeah if things get more serious you may want to find out WHY things ended itMAY be relevant to you - or not.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Free dating weekend . as advertised
Posted: 4/2/2013 12:03:05 PM
Daver it's good to know
That
Hey! Even if I got on free if there were hardly any guys what would be the point?!

I thought of eharmony or match.
Heard bad things about match & apparently eharmony sends you matches I like to have that element of choice!!

It's helpful to hear about the paid sites cos sometimes I've wondered if I'd fare better there, this suggests not.
ALSO a friend of a friend tried a free site & a paid one & said no difference.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Could you live on just £53 per week?
Posted: 4/2/2013 10:23:24 AM
It would pay for my food & that's probably it. Maybe one night in a hostel cos I would no longer be able to afford to rent my flat. Maybe food & a couple ofbills.
I think I want to sign that petition what an@ss!

Lusipher I love the new pic!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
SPRINGSHINE AT LAST
Posted: 4/2/2013 10:20:53 AM
I too have not had a date in a month - over a month. Had a pof date late Feb, he asked for a 2nd last Thurs night but cancelled BOO!!
(Oh well!)
I also, before our first date, once postponed a date with him cos of snow & tube delays (we are both in London but quite far from each other)

With my ex boyfriend, he kept suggesting great ideas but they were weather-dependent! Like bike ride, picnic, theme park.
They'd be awesome dates though, with him, someone like him or even better!
SO yay for sun!
I find I feel a bit of a happy boost from sun anyway, dates or no dates.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Musical guilty pleasures
Posted: 4/2/2013 1:09:15 AM
Re Pentatonic blue: "Though I do get irked, when people label Led Zeppelin a Heavy Metal band :D"

Classic rock then??

One of my three ringtones is "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zep (along with Aerosmith's "Love in an elevator" - current one - and Stevie Wonder's "Master Blaster")
And I LOVE that scream! When I heard it first I was like WOW!
Still am.

Also love Kashmir by Led Zep - another musical guilty pleasure is I also love ""Come with me" by Puff Daddy featuring Jimmy Page! (ANOTHER violent one?)
In fact it was the best thing about the whole (90s version) Godzilla movie but then again, that movie wasn't very good! I sat through the credits so I could listen to the song.
This is the official music video for it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrSyrOaoAug
Apparently this is the original Kashmir Led Zep video (9 minutes!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73dvrir5kig

Stairway is awesome but been done SO much, houses of the holies is awesome,
I love "All of my love"

Two other musical guilty pleasures (I love Classic rock!)
Are Joe Walsh's "Life's been good to me" no that's obviously cool!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXWvKDSwvls
THIS is a musical guilty pleasure of mine: Z Z Top's Cheap Sunglasses: Here ey are beards and all!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9WTlP08LEg
(And who HASN'T bought and rocked a pair of cheap sunglasses before?!)
(Make sure they give your eyes good protection though!)
 Athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
First meet, won't do something brief like coffee?
Posted: 4/1/2013 11:43:42 AM
Go with your gut
If your gut tells you no LISTEN!
You could always go for coffee somewhere with a nice view like a garden outside.
Look, I want fun, romantic dates BELIEVE me but I also understand for a first date both of you don't know if you'll be attracted, compatible at all etc.
My most recent pof date said said something like"I'm sorry it was just coffee, not dinner" (cos he found out I ordered pizza before!) & I said don't be silly!
We didn't know if we'd be attracted in "real" life, get on etc. so coffee makes sense in case one of us wanted to end it! Coffee date can always be extended.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 4/1/2013 4:52:39 AM
I've dated a guy with some other "issues" and what might have helped - he told me about them which is good - but if he had explained more how it might
affect our dating life then I would know, is it his conditions or is it that he's lost interest?
SO yeah.
Perhaps that might be helpful, or not?

Usually the guys didn't bring it up straight away like with this guy it was the 3rd time we saw each other we were in an interest group & chatted there before briefly
dating - and he'd started putting his arm around me & stuff, I responded favourably, and that night he told me about his issues.

He doesn't seem to have trouble getting the girls! Like I've seen him with one a month the last three months but are they girlfriends or friends who knows but his conditions
affected our relationship & some others of his BUT if he'd EXPLAINED how his conditions affected him and his love life personally, I would most likely
have felt more secure in that relationship and MAYBE still be with him.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Does plenty of fish really work for you compared to other dating sites?
Posted: 4/1/2013 4:30:58 AM
there's IMHO cuter guys on here than & I've managed to have 3 dates here none there but that's over 5 months! And mostly the guys here are more articulate too.

"OP, like you, I have emailed hundreds of women since i have been on here. Now, I just come for the forums. I think what you have to realize, is that most women who join dating sites are not serious. They are here only for validation."

I AM serious.
Sometimes the interest gets annoying though it's nice overall cos I'm not attracted to them (just like the guys I've initiated contact with here are usually not interested in me) so sometimes it makes me feel LESS attractive!!! And like why can't I get interest from people I DO find compatible & attractive (a question a lot of us ask ourselves here!)
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Musical guilty pleasures
Posted: 3/31/2013 1:56:25 PM
Musical guilty pleasures? I have a few!! 80s, plus that song "5, 6, 7, 8" by Steps (even though I usually hate country!) (Billybonds: @"somebody to love . george michael and queen" are you KIDDING me Freddie Mercury is a freakin creative genius I love him!! and queen!) a few Roger Whittaker songs, some 70s & 60s (love three dog night!) and Bjork cos some people say she's crap but I love some of her stuff so much!

but two weirder ones for me, and I got really into them today! I needed cheering up, heard one of these two songs & wanted to dance & listen to it & it made me laugh...although usually I am NOT into gangster rap, violent lyrics and tons of swearing!
But also they are SO catchy!!
The first one is Check yourself before you wreck yourself by Ice Cube (try not to listen to the lyrics too hard)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aAbOgdbTbM

The second one is the song they (sample?)
The Message by Grandmaster Flash
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4o8TeqKhgY

I always liked those two songs & today I listened to the original & also different versions.
I freakin LOVE
"Don't push me cos I'm on the edge, I'm trying not to lose my head" and "It's like a jungle sometimes I wonder how I keep from going under"

I'm not a big fan of gangster rap at all but MAN I LOVE these two songs, even though the lyrics are violent, depressing etc. And damn they catchy!
 Athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:21:48 PM
Esp. If you are in a big city, have you tried www.meetup.com ?
Lots of interest groups, many are free & I've met some of my best friends there.
(No, I'm not affiliated with them!)
 Athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Do women exist that do not want kids?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:15:00 PM
YES!
Although I am divorced now.
I was married without kids (by choice) & now I still don't want kids.
I like them but don't want my own.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Would you date a man with a Vasectomy?
Posted: 3/29/2013 1:54:46 PM
I'm childfree (meaning I don't want kids & don't have any) so for me would I date a man with a vasectomy?
HECK YES!

I told my ex boyfriend I don't want kids on our first proper date & was relieved when he said "Neither do I!"
(Just before that I said, I'm divorced & he replied "I know!")

A guy I had a 2 year relationship with over a year ago didn't want kids either & ended up getting a vasectomy.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 28 (view)
 
How much does religion affect your choice of date?
Posted: 3/29/2013 9:23:12 AM
I used to be religious & also in a much smaller country and a lot of this was BEFORE internet dating really look off - we had penpals!
We'd sometimes find them online but we would write letters and mail photos ha ha.
YES at times it was very restrictive. A lot harder to find a match.
On the other hand i've dated guys from a couple of different religions as well as atheists etc & their beliefs didn't affect the relationship at all.

"Don't get me wrong there are some good values in all of the books but anyone branding themselves a (insert modern theistic belief here) ultimately advocates the the "sins" of their religious past."

I both agree & disagree.
A lot of religious people are way more moderate than that small vocal majority (in Islam, Christianity etc) also I did not agree withe sins of the religious past of present but I used to believe in the book & so on & a lot of what my church said & I grow up believing I had no other choice!
But even then I did not agree at all with the terrible things some Christians did in the past & in so,e cases present.
I was married to a Muslim & neither of us agree with all the terrible things done by Muslims in the past and in some cases present.

In both cases, we saw those people as misguided & as making a huge mockery out of our faith & were ashamed of them!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Traveling Solo
Posted: 3/28/2013 10:22:16 AM
I've read through some of this thread and look forward to reading the rest.
I have traveled solo quite a bit.
I also moved to live and work in another country when apart from one family friend who I stayed with at the start, I knew nobody, no job planned nothing!
I'm still here over a decade later!

I LOVE to travel & yes often it's on my own: sometimes with a tour sometimes just me, depending on location, deals avail & other factors it's been mostly Europe but
a dash of Asia & USA: (Over the last 13 years these are my solo trips:)

Austria (tour) Belgium (2 tours) Czech (tour) England, Finland (tour) France (on my own) I went to Paris on my own, first time with ex hubby, second time just
me, Germany (on my own, couple of day tours but Frankfurt was on my own, Hong Kong (on my own) the Netherlands (on my own, & also couple of day trips) Russia (tour) Scotland (on my own) Spain (tour) Singapore (on my own) Switzerland (on my own) USA (on my own, several times)

Some people say they would NEVER go traveling on their own but if I waited till I had someone to go with I would not have made those trips I listed! And I definitely enjoyed
them! Planning to go to Japan & San Francisco this year on my own too!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 149 (view)
 
Do Women go for submissive men?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:35:26 AM
"Judging from the responses of most of the women on here, that caring sharing sensitive emotionally open metro sexual man should stay on the pages of a glossy coffee table magazine...."



Not for me, I LOVE caring sensitive emotionally open men & he can be a bit metrosexual.

And pampering? Yes please!

I want him to feel happy too though & that he can tactfully speak his mind with me.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 32 (view)
 
When I Grow Up I Want to Be...
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:18:09 AM
I'm trained as a life coach & NLP practitioner but while I'm good at it and have A client, (who thinks I am a BRILLIANT life coach and says she has benefitted from my services immensely) I find it incredibly hard to promote myself effectively enough to
get more. I have the skills to do the job but not the business skills to market myself :-(
I also love to sing and I'd love to be paid to sing, just like as a restaurant singer or something!

SO currently I'm a teacher. (My degree - BEd - is in Education & my diplomas are in early childhood education and in life coaching plus two NLP certificates.)

It's what I wanted to do from ages 16-24. I'm good at it now :-) and there are things I like about it a LOT including I'm great with kids and like them, even though I don't
want my own, & kids like me lots too.
The rules & regulations that get put on teachers can feel disempowering though, but I LOVE the holidays!

STILL...so that's why I haven't put my profession on my profile.
I DO love my current job which ends either April orJuly then I go back to supply (in this country before this job I did a year of day to day supply and before THAT 9 years as a Nursery teacher, left by choice) which is fine but teaching is not what I REALLY want to be doing with
my professional life. Ah well! I've also made 3 websites and will be making a fourth for someone, but just at a basic level, using a template site or two. I used to
know basic html code but it's not used so much these days & now I've forgotten what I knew!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Please review my profile
Posted: 3/23/2013 9:35:42 AM
Thank you so much for your suggestions.
I need to rotate my full body shots - they are sideways for some reason!
But I've implemented som of the suggested changes & I appreciate everyone's input!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Profile, uk perspective?
Posted: 3/23/2013 7:36:27 AM
I've been sick and in hospital recently so other things have taken priority!
But today I am starting to change my profile.

But in late Feb, I thought I'd met someone from here (yeah right!)
and I can also be forgetful. But now I will make some of these changes. I don't know if it will help but you never know, it's worth a shot.

I don't put profession because I am not in the profession I want to be in.
I am a professional and I have a degree but I want to make a career change so I'm not that proud of my current career path as it's not where I want to be, hence I don't want to put it in.
I don't want guys yapping to me loads about my job - it's a great job but it's not what I really want to be doing with my life.

I save up a lot and wear 9 year old clothes at times (as in the clothes are 9 years old) so I can afford to travel. Sometimes it's just one trip a year but it is a real passion of mine and I want my profile to reflect me.

Re the casual dating, what I wanted to convey is a see how things go attitude. But I don't quite know how to convey that so I think I better take that out. I guess I'm hoping dating again will help me build up my relationship skills - being newly single after such a long relationship including marriage - on my way to meeting a boyfriend who is a great match. (Not neccessarily wanting a second husband or a one night stand something in the middle would be great!)

For various reasons, I'd prefer a younger guy. I do come across as younger than my age sometimes - although it sounds like my profile makes me sound too young! And I don't want to date a guy with kids as someone suggested but there are loads of good suggestions here I will experiment and see what happens.

I'm not really going to lose anything by changing it.
Worse case scenario I can always change it back but I'll start making some changes and see what happens.
I don't want to take the positivity bit out - this is important to me - but I will change my profile based on most of what has been said and thank you and I do value your input honest!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Profile, uk perspective?
Posted: 3/18/2013 11:45:39 AM
Didier_Ronseal, with all due respect, what the hell are you on about?
I joined on the 29th of October 2012 I think & I am not a reincarnation of any former pof member!

I prefer younger guys,
They like me, my last boyfriend was younger etc but I will take all this on board & step by step make some changes.

Kentish-Man, thanks. Although I've been here a while, I'm not originally from the UK, now was my former husband we are not American either but it's good to know the differences, I read online dating advice, a lot is from the states which might be very different to here & therefore culturally irrelevant.
Thanks everyone, I will experiment.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Profile, uk perspective?
Posted: 3/18/2013 11:42:34 AM
I didn't get around to it & also thought I'd met someone hardy ha ha but I WILL this time I swear!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Profile, uk perspective?
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:33:12 AM
I know this is a wee bit off topic but nowhere else to post & ask
I put my profile in the profile review part but of course it's US members answering - and I really appreciate their advice but I'd also like a UK
perspective, but be nice (tenderness with your honesty!) not "You're not getting results cos you're ugly & your mum dresses you funny" kinda thing.
Thanks!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Please review my profile
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:22:30 AM
I'm taking all this on board & I WILL be making some changes.
The thing is, these days it's mainly younger guys who like me, plus I want to be with someone who likes to go out a lot, not someone who is a "quiet nights" guy - which
doesn't mean I can't get that from a 50 year old, I know. Ex hubby was is only 6 months younger than me, but very much a quiet nights guy, maybe that's why I want to try something different? I BRIEFLY dated a guy in his 20s, I ended it, but we did go out on some dates and for him he seemed to want relationship, not just sex. But then again he is still finding himself a bit, I need to find. A Happy medium!
I also strongly prefer brunettes - have all my life - over any other hair colour inc. grey.
(Yeah they'll go grey one day, I know & yes some grey-haired guys ARE FOXY!)
I also think older guys are more likely to have kids of their own and I don't want that but nor do I want a younger guy who ONLY wants sex!
I have been told a LOT that I am more like a younger woman than someone my age. The photos were taken last October, by the way but sometimes people think I look younger than my age, these are the reasons why younger. In my 20s, ironically, I usually dated men in their 30s!
But I will look at some of the older guy's profiles and have a good think about it.
Don't suit dresses but I'll see what else I can wear, I have shots of me in jeans.
I appreciate ALL the helpful feedback and will be making changes soon.

 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Please review my profile
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:02:10 AM
Getting a lot of interest but not from guys I'm attracted to
Any tips? I can be quite sensitive so please be kind and tactful, constructive criticism only please & also what you do like about it.
Someone said take out the word sexy, it may be attracting guys who just want one night stands, do you agree?
I know I'm not going to be everybody's cup of tea nor will they be mine but just wanted to ask and see what feedback I get which I'll mull over and maybe implement. I have a 4th photo and some (fully clothed!) body shots I might add to it.
Thanks!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Societal Consequences to Online Dating
Posted: 3/17/2013 5:46:46 AM
For me personally I disagree.
(With OP)
At least to a point I do.
I was in a long term relationship till a certain point last year and married - LTRs DO exist you know!
YES I have a lot of choices but it doesn't mean I want to meet all of them!
I have friends, am on meetup.com so sometimes go out to events & for most of my love life I met people naturally and I can still
start up a conversation OK.
The hook-up generation is a bit of a concern, nothing wrong with hooking up I say but what I REALLY want is a boyfriend.
But I believe some guys still want both - to date a girl AND to "fork" her.
Being choosy is no picnic, it can feel like less options, I wish I was less choosy sometimes.
But also I get my fair share of rejections here like everyone so some guys think I'm not a good choice for them.
It's just another possible avenue to meet someone - being on here - I have a social life & go out too.
But I'd rather be in a relationship where we are very happy with each other than either of us settle.
I actually have met & found a pof guy I really like (so far) but it remains to be seen what happens next. And I really liked my former husband & also the boyfriend after, it's just that I saw things weren't working out. So it's not like I never like anyone! And the vast majority of guys here that appeal so I contact them, ignore me so it goes both ways!
I think it's good if one can date online & off and I guess not let the whole situation get to us but try to have fun & enjoy the experience.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Can you be spiritual without being religious?
Posted: 3/17/2013 5:23:55 AM
I am spiritual but not religious.
I USED to be religious, brought up on it, but I'm not anymore.(If my patents or extremely religious brother ever read this - which they won't! - I'm toast!
I like some aspects of a few different religions but don't follow any, I've done the odd prayer, mantra & spell etc.
I have a small statue of Ganesh somewhere but it's so small I've lost him! I love religious architecture from all faiths I don't take any religious tome as being fully literal. I am quite a spiritual person, currently exploring guided meditation, believe we are connected & I pursue my spiritual development. Twice a year I & my even more spiritual friends go to Mind Body Spirit & MindBody Soul festivals and I facilitate workshops just with them in which they do yoga, reiki etc & I take part. And one of these friends is an atheist so he's spiritual & not religious too. Like me.
I'm a spiritual pantheist eclectic with some agnosticism!
Heh heh,
Takes all sorts, right?! ;-)
 athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 76 (view)
 
My first POF date next Sunday :0)
Posted: 3/16/2013 12:17:21 PM
Men are visual creatures too, maybe even more
so than us.
If I end up with nobody :-( cos I only want to
date someone I'm physically attracted to so
BE it (I don't want to date someone not physically
attracted to me either) It's not everything but it
is a factor
I am surely a 3 to some or 1 or negative numbers!
& a 7-10 to others, it's subjective.
My idea of a 3 might be someone else's 10 &
vice versa!

Better luck with your next date OP
 Athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
People looking for sex
Posted: 3/15/2013 3:41:15 PM
Sorry I mean not Lusipher,
I mean the person insulting him?
Wow Lusipher you reacted better than I did well done!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Celebrity Crush?
Posted: 3/15/2013 10:02:21 AM
Ziggy Marley & David Tennent - agree! And c'mon man, Bob Marley? What a babe!

Will Smith YUMMY!
Except for the Scientology thing (ew) one day years ago mum wanted to cheer me up so took me to a Will Smith movie it worked.
I love him in anything but esp. in Hitch as a romantic lead..wow!

Used to crush on Arnie (Scwartzn.) not anymore. Governer thing didn't help & the scandals!

Used to have posters of Will & Arnie on my wardrobe.

Orlando Bloom as Legolas

The two leads on Supernatural

Nicholas Cage a bit.

Weirdest crush was a Glee project winner Samuel Larsen miles too young for me anyway.

Richard Roxburg is a bit sexy. (not sexy in Moulin rouge as the count, sexy in Van Helsinger & The One and Only.
Paul Rudd is yummy but I don't always like his movies loved him in Friends and recently in Wander Lust though.
Bradley Cooper, Ben Stiller (kinda) George Newbern kinda.
Mickey Virtue formerly of UB40
And that silver fox Gary Linekar now on the Walkers crisps ads!
My list is quite long ha ha
They are the ones that come to mind that I find drool worthy.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
she just wanted to swap pics
Posted: 3/15/2013 6:25:08 AM
I confess!

Now I say NO, but I have ahem done the same before & with one guy when I sent him some, just boobs & butt I think
he never contacted me again!!
I did it myself to one guy too - poor guy but I pretended I was having camera & technical trouble! (Yeah he really better not read this!)

And I thought I'd lost my phone with some nudie pix - no face! - & raunchy texts on it at work for a few nerve-wracking minutes at one stage till finding it in my bag.

"OP, it is funny and you're not the first or last bloke who it'll happen to.
In my time, I've camwhored it up with loads of girls.... more often than not, it's all good in the hood.... but there have been a small handful of times when girls have been put off and have lost interest.
Hasn't dented my confidence in the slightest, because I am well aware that some girls won't be too keen on what I'm packing.
Just because one, or a few girls loses interest, is no real reason for your ego to be anything more than a little dented."

Lusipher, I love some of the things you say on here, so helpful & funny!
Camwhored heh heh
You are right, too, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with our bodies just cos they are not to everyone's taste!

So yeah been through this though I'm off exchanging nudie pix these days!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 37 (view)
 
My first POF date next Sunday :0)
Posted: 3/13/2013 1:51:05 PM
Personally, I think no to the friend also.

With my last ex boyfriend, I dated him about twice before going to meet his friends - in a big social group in a public place.
Even THEN I felt a bit nervous about it cos I was still getting to know HIM! Didn't end up meeting them or him.
Now that he & I are just friends, I've met some of his friends and they are very lovely. But I wouldn't have wanted to meet them or even one of them one a first
date, there's safety issues yes but also comfort zone issues! IMHO anyway!
Yes to public place too.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Lady in red, is dancing (the horizontal hokey cokey) with me?
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:55:10 PM
Hmm maybe I need to re-think my profile
pic!
I don't want guys to think I'm a sure thing before
I've even met them!
Red top red lipstick have 2 pairs of red shoes!
I like wearing red as a colour though.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 63 (view)
 
When was the last time you received a love letter
Posted: 3/11/2013 7:39:13 AM
I've only had one in the 90s! Early 90s I think.
It was really sweet. We ended up dating on & off for two years - not just cos of that!
He also wrote something like "Thank you postie, I used to be a mail man!" On it!
 athenamarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 31 (view)
 
The State of Things on POF
Posted: 3/10/2013 1:31:37 PM
LOVING the bampot!
My ex boyfriend is half Scottish & used to live there. I MIGHT be seeing him at a group event on Saturday, if he does anything crazy I will laugh & call him a bampot & see if he knows what it means!!
I have a new word now, thanks!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 3/10/2013 5:23:19 AM
I'd go either way. Usually I have the better career, that's how it's usually been.
But I've had a couple of men say to me "Because I do such & such women don't find me attractive" (or something like that) & I'd think what!0? But I still find you attractive!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
My first POF date next Sunday :0)
Posted: 3/10/2013 5:06:26 AM
I'm just really excited for you & wish you all the best!!

By the way, no matter what happens
You're beautiful (I'm straight & have no desire to date you etc!)
But you are. Have fun, yeah, try to have fun with it.
The nerves can be quite normal.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
The State of Things on POF
Posted: 3/10/2013 5:04:56 AM
Two things or three:

Some people hang out here just for the forums. Some people leave & come back.

I am one of the ones brave enough to meet people, have met 3 guys from here & I only joined late October but I'm fussy in that I like what I like & I can't help it. There's a lot of guys here who I'm sure are wonderful but they are not all my type but also like many of us, I've had my share of rejections here, I'm messaged and or tried to chat to guys who haven't responded and a couple responded with thanks but no thanks - in a lot nicer way. So what?! I am not everybody's type either.
I do love when guys here show interest, I really do, but I prefer it when I see the message or want to meet and go ooh I'm interested in you too!
It's not always physical, can be location, interests, what someone is looking for etc - someone said to me, you're too old for me.
Well, obviously he & I are not a match, fair enough, so what! For both of us...NEXT!
I took some photos in the bathroom because the lighting is the best there in the whole house, I vary in how photogenic I am, sometimes I look good, other times dreadful in photos so it's rare I even have photos of me!
I tell my friends I'm on a dating site - 2 actually - but don't want to ask them to take my photo for it!
I don't really care if you think I have duck face. I hope not but I'm getting a bit sick of caring what guys think of me!
The on high thing maybe they think it's flattering, the women think they are creating a good impression obviously!

some men here are fruitcakes too who just want me to watch them wank - literally! Yeah, no thanks!
There are other websites for that!

Anyway, I encourage you (soap box moment!) to find something good about pof - even if it's just that being here is not necessary cos you do so well with women!
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 38 (view)
 
The word Love
Posted: 2/28/2013 1:39:50 PM
My ex boyfriend said "I'm really into you"
Apparently there's a song called that & all but I'd never heard THAT one before!

Will comment more on the word love later, perhaps, for now I'm just enjoying reading what you all have to say about it.
 
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