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 Author Thread: Not looking for hookups anymore
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 360 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 11/18/2018 12:27:22 PM

I've only started to notice this is the past couple of years, but loads of women are stating that they aren't looking for hookups anymore, that they had one night stands when they were young but now want a relationship.

Sometimes it's because they've been treated badly and guys have lied to them so they now want to make sure a guy is really interested in something long term.

Trouble is, I find this really off putting. Hard to put my finger on exactly what bothers me, whether it feels like I'm being punished for other men's dishonesty or that I'm being used because the kind of guys these women used to go for don't have decent jobs or something and so they're not really interested in me for who I am...


What you need to remember is that these women are looking for men to extract resources to save them from a lifetime of being irresponsible and promiscuous. They can't do that with a one night stand, they need a relationship.

So when they say they are not looking for hookups anymore, what they mean is they are not looking for a hook-up with YOU, the average Joe. They will still have a hook-up/ ONS while they are looking for their average Joe ( "resource provider" ) if the guys is hawt/ tall/swaggy enough. They just mean they won't hookup with you, you'll have to wine and dine, you'll have to please her and work hard if you want access to be her 28th partner...
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Why do Single mothers push men away?
Posted: 11/18/2018 12:18:17 PM

July.. I would love to see your resources because I went back to college when I was 40 for 2 years for Early Childhood Development and most articles, books, opinions I have read were quite the opposite of what you have stated. What and where are you reading this drivel?


Single mom types JulyStorm are unfortunately becoming more prevalent. When I say types, I don't mean because she has kids, I mean that she chose such a loser to breed with, the father has no involvement with the kids lives, that she has the kids 24/7, those types.

So instead of waiting to wait until the kids are older to date, women like her are looking to be saved, looking for the easier way out. They say they are looking for luvvv.... but the reality is dating for women like her is a means to an end. The ultimate dating goal for them is invariably to get a guy to move in, lighten her daily household work load and increase the household income.

Since women like her are saddled with kids 24/7, it's logistically impossible for them to keep their kids and dating lives separate. Since they put themselves before their kids and want to date anyway, they need a way to justify to themselves they are a good parent and justify the need to date. Even though all of the evidence demonstrates that having kids meeting mommy's multiple partners is detrimental to children's psychological development, they go out on google to intentionally undergo confirmation bias to find anything that says bringing in a string of men around their kids is not that bad.

She finds opinion pieces by feminists and left-wing types that tell her what she wants to hear. She wants them to be credible as it justifies what she already wants to believe and do. That's the drivel she seeks out. Its the exact opposite of what the experts say but she considers it a "school of thought". No dear, people that think the earth is flat is not a different school of thought than the roundy's. It's just wrong.

This is the reason single moms are renown for parading men around their kids. This is also the reason why kids from single moms turn out so terrible. If she has daughters exposed to this, the cycle continues and they will likely become single moms themselves.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 294 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/15/2018 4:47:53 AM

Sir, I agree with what you said. However, these women are damaged. The other women you indicted are SANE rational women. The real fact they do not want a man, rather than a pony to take the burden off their shoulders. They are fighting with their ex-BFs. and never leave on a good note.


And I agree with what you said. My experiences has been just that. They are looking for a beast of burden to pull the plow of economic generation to provide for them. They do bring something to the table, its just nothing positive. It's generally drama; drama from the ex, drama from the kids behavior and drama from the financial struggles that are a constant in their lives.


That is absolutely hilarious because men sleep with more people than women do.
Sorry to break it to you dude but is mostly you men having orgies and 1 nighters
So you might want to retract that whole post.


The OP started this thread asking why women, not men, are no longer looking for hook-ups. This isn't about who has more hook-ups than the other. A woman's history in regards to promiscuity is much relevant then men's. Why? Well;

1. Women are more likely to have contracted a STD then men ( heterosexuals). HPV for example.
2. Unplanned pregnancies commonly result from sex. If this is from hook-up(s), shes likely in a situation where she is saddled with kid(s) in regards to the costs and lifestyle restrictions from raising them on her own. This impacts future relationships.
3. Studies have consistently shown that after a certain threshold of sexual partners a woman has, she is no longer able to pair-bond to future partners. That is to say rates of divorce and infidelity are proportionally higher the more sexual partners a woman has had.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 235 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 10:34:37 AM

You think I, as a single mother of 3 kids, overvalue myself because I want better for myself. You look down on me but the joke is on you. You and many guys like you are single and getting older, still looking for that childless woman with her shit together but unfortunately for you, every year the amount of available women in your age group in this category gets to be fewer and fewer. Many of the single moms do find relationships while the self-described "nice guys" continue to hold out while getting older.


Dear, you are conflating "single mom" with "women with kids". Yes, most women my age do have kids and I do date them. The ones I date are called "divorced moms". The reason is, in contrast to single moms, divorced moms generally;

1. Have the father (ex-husband) consistently in their children's lives. In many cases 1/2 custody. This allows the mom's time away from the kids. This is the only way to even build a relationship with a woman.
2. Better behaved kids ( see #1)
3. Are on generally good financial footing ( see #1) ( alimony, divorce asset acquisition, consistent child support).
4. The woman is less stressed and in better physical shape.
5. Isn't trying to foist parental ability on the new man as the kids have a father (see #1).
6. Likely have a lucrative career.
7. Have a overall stable life.

Yes, some single moms do get relationships. Generally these are the attractive ones. The ones that aren't generally get losers, phedophiles, beta males and players.

Like another poster mentioned, you should delay dating for serious relationships until that youngest child is in school time full-time ( kindergarten). Work on yourself in the meantime. Right now, your current male "equivalent" is not someone you want around your kids.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 232 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 6:43:03 AM

I've only started to notice this is the past couple of years, but loads of women are stating that they aren't looking for hookups anymore, that they had one night stands when they were young but now want a relationship.


There was a scene from the movie Monster ( with Charlize Theron) where the main character decides she doesn't want to be a low rent prostitute anymore. So she decides to apply for a job at a law firm where she is woefully under qualified. The interviewer, seeing her dismal resume says something to the affect of , " You did nothing but party your whole life and now that the beach party is over, you want what we worked our whole lives for." I think that applies here.

I typically see the "Not looking for hook-ups" almost exclusively of profiles of women in their 30's and 40's. It almost always coincides with how badly the woman is doing in her life. Childless women with good jobs and their act together rarely have this in their profiles. What these women are conveying by not wanting hook-ups is that they've made bad decisions in their lives, now they need a man to bail them out. Not establishing a career, having a kids with a loser and mountains of debt in their care-free earlier years, these women now hit the dating scene in search of an exclusive John to lighten their daily work load and bring in a secondary income to make things right. The "not looking for hook-ups" is a alert statement in such that she doesn't have time to play around, shes on the search for resources and she needs them ASAP.

You'll commonly see other catch phrases with these profiles;

"I've had my fun"
"No time for games"
"I know what I want"
"Looking for something real"
"Looking for a Real Man™, boys not apply"
"Where are all the good guys?"


I want what most people want, to be wanted by someone that I want. But I keep going over it in my head and I truly don't believe I will find anyone and I know I won't settle for lacklustre.


The reason single moms like yourself can't find good guys is that from the perception of the "good guy" is that you are lackluster. This is the reason women like yourself claim "Where are all the good guys ?" is because the good guys see you as flings along, the juice isn't worth the squeeze as far as relationships since you don't much to the table.

What you need to understand is that the male equivalent of a single mom of 3 kids, that lives with her mom and has a mountain of debt, is a alcoholic guy that is getting his $10 paycheck garnished for 2 child support payments. Not trying to be cruel but I think alot of people over value themselves.

Remember, those good guys were putting extra hours in working or studying while you were living the beach party lifestyle, popping those kids out with the cool guy and going on spending extravaganzas.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/26/2017 5:16:08 PM
^^ lol good point
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Women need to prepare, but is it too late?
Posted: 5/26/2017 7:35:49 AM

Should chaos hit I have a strong enough network around me of highly skilled people and I am sure we would band together to look after each other as a community. Because that is what we already do on a smaller scale.


Living in England, you are screwed if there was a societal collapse.

One, just from a population density perspective, there is not infrastructure to sustain the large population without outside imports (food). That's a fact.

Two, you guys can't even stand up the "immigrant" aggression you have imported. They are already organized and have a cultural cohesion. What do you think is going to happen when the rule of law disappears?

Edit: Not trying be insensitive with the recent Manchester attack... but it is what it is.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/26/2017 7:27:29 AM


You dont grab some teenager because they are a girl or because they might be good as they are a girl. You need assurance if she say has problems cant handle it police are called, babysitter faces charges, parents face charges for child endangerment as the teenager was not qualified, and it put her child at risk. For what because you think any teenager can do it, and you should stay away from single mothers, and their children because you have little or no respect for them.

Truth every babysitter should care about your child and are willing to put their safety above everything, fire safety, cooking safety, first aide/cpr, how to care for disabled children if you have them, trustworthy and you just dont hand your most cherished to someone who dont give a shit if they live, or die. You have little or no care of their children so you dont think a child safety is an issue that is a real big issue with all parents who put their kids first.

Not one stranger ever watched my kids, it's not an excuse it's a fvcking human life, you want to get a piece of ass and not care about the risks involved just to stick your****in a lady. What is a matter with you? Parents drop you on your head? Someone not teach you morals? You actually believe a date with you should be above her flesh and blood? Seriously get a grip on reality do those women a favor and stop trying to date them.




@Nestaron


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DAFD--qUIAAZh4P.jpg
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Single moms and babysitters
Posted: 5/26/2017 7:22:24 AM

Your profile says you do not want kids. So why on earth would you date single mothers?


Well who is supposed to date single mothers?

The narrative on this any many other dating sites is that single moms don't need a man for their kids and keep their dating lives separate. So thats a moot point correct? The women the OP is courting are putting themselves out there to date. So if they cant procure baby sitters maybe they should not be dating?


Why do I get so much kickback and resistance from the single moms I date when it comes to finding a babysitter for their kids?


See I typically see the opposite from my experience. Most single moms I know pull all the stops to get baby sitters when dating. They typically pool friends and relatives to frequently baby sit so the picture they convey to the guy she is trying to pursue thinks that her situation is not as bleak as it actually is. He thinks, "man, she has kids but she has a good life balance." Once you move in and she gets in her comfort zone the babysitters magically disappear and you end up driving little billy to soccer games.

A friend of mind told me that his mom watches his sisters young kids so her and her boyfriend can go out on dates. He asked his mom why she babysits on top of everything else she does for her ( she lives with her mom, surprise!). The mom's reposnse was, " It's an investment that I'm hoping will pay off".

My advice would be to date multiple women and not put your eggs in one basket so when you have enough plates spinning at least one or 2 per week should open up to date. Of course you don't tell them about the others.

The only reason single moms put themselves out there to date and wont get sitters is because they are probably broke and they are looking for their ticket out of poverty (YOU) and/ or they are trying to expedite the dating process by having you introduced to the kids so she can rush the move-in process (S.O.S)
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Single mums - What's the big deal?
Posted: 5/26/2017 7:08:27 AM

Why do single guys get put off by women who have kid(s)???


It cost $250,000 per child to raise from birth to 18. Kids hinder relationships and the frequency one can have sex. Not just by being there but the exhaustion they put on the mother. The number of kids and the lack of involvement from the bio-father further exacerbates those two points.

Half of single moms are on government benefits. If you as the man marry or cohabitate with her she will no longer qualify for those benefits. Guess who picks up the slack?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Women need to prepare, but is it too late?
Posted: 5/23/2017 8:14:41 PM

The more I read posters like some of you guys the more I realize why you struggle so much and why you are so bitter and twisted about it all.



Yeah, it's more likely that will happen because their *icks turn out to be so small the woman is forced to lay there because you'll come out if she moves her hips.



Some tossing around the term "poon" haven't been close to it since they squeezed outta the birth canal.


It's sad you ladies have such poor debating skills that you need to resort to insults since you cannot make your case.

This is not anti-women, it's anti-marriage, anti-commitment. Men married and did traditional things when they received traditional benefits. Those benefits no longer exist. (marriage loyalty, having kids [no step], wife that cooks, husband headship ect)


Thankfully while you are doing your utmost to make me feel so despondent and worthless


You totally missed the point. Women have made themselves despondent and worthless. What does a 36 year old single mom of 2 or 3 have to offer any man of quality? Providing him with biological children? Does he get headship in this ready made family or does she rule the roost? By the time you boil it down, most women with children over 35 don't have really anything positive to offer most successful men. No time for a relationship, they are likely saddled with debt and they expect you as the man to fill all these voids that they created. No thanks.

Why is it you women can filter out guys or preference out guys for the most mundane of things, like desiring height, like 6', which has no real practical applications, yet men are twisted for not wanting a partner who has a life like train wreck or a hectic life due to primary custody, poor finances and a paltry income.... those things do have a practical application.... a detriment to a relationship.

Contrary to your attempted insult, men stating these things are not struggling in the realm of women, they are going their own way precisely because they have enough experience with women to avoid the traditional entrapments of marriage and cohabitation based relationships.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Women need to prepare, but is it too late?
Posted: 5/21/2017 6:49:39 AM

weaponry, food & water, heating off the grid, cooking off grid supplies, medical supplies, composting toilet (check out the loveable loo) maybe a tiny house (on wheels), gas for ur vehicle, candles, batteries, flashlights, a generator, solar panels, animals that can provide milk & eggs.


It's very unlikely that there will be total societal collapse. If there was, most preppers would be killed off by gangs and the hungry mobs. Most think they are very confident with their assault rifles and long term food storage. You will be smoked and/ or burned out of your house. Thats the reality. You need to already have a compound with 10+ other like minded people BEFORE there is a collapse event. The "husband and wife" team preppers will fair nor better than anyone else.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Women need to prepare, but is it too late?
Posted: 5/21/2017 6:42:38 AM

Logic, reason and science are working against women right now, there no place to hide and they can't prepare for it. Technology already beat women at this point, for example when you get back home after a long day at work, you can sit and play some video games or watch a movie and relax, or you can sit get stressed by a nagging woman and have a miserable night, it's an easy choice tbh.


This is a spot on assessment. As a 40 year old man dating women 34-42 I can attest this as true. Most of these women have dependent young children, paltry incomes and a life filled with drama. If one wants steady sex with these women, ergo a relationship, one has to integrate into these women's worlds. Help raising step kids, paying her bills, being her proverbial punching bag for her stress that are begotten by her poor or attempted hypergamous choices. It just isn't worth giving up ones freedom and adding a lifestyle of stress just to have a cumulative total of perhaps 60 minutes of sexual time per week. All the while spending 20-30 hours + in addition to your full-time job fixing and dealing with her baggage.

It is so much more worthwhile to live on your own, enjoy your own leisure, stay in shape and active and the company of good friends. One could still patron the weekly massage "parlor" and still spend less then the above female example.

If one has seen any of the state-of-the-art female androids the Japanese scientists have been working on, the final nail in the coffin is just a few short years away.



MGTOW are a bunch of homosexuals


See above. Its not that men are not having sex with women, they are not committing to them. After about age 35, women don't really bring much to the table. They bring young, dependent children that hinder romance and relationships. They bring poor finances as they chose to spend rather then save. They bring debt as they thought the grass was greener when they divorced their ex spouse and still spent as if she had dual income. Men are still having and willing to have sexual trysts and casual relationships with women, its just long term commitment and marriage is off the table. The juice is not worth the squeeze.



Have you ever seen a fat or short or ugly or bald guy with a wife?


Sure have. And they will be raped when the wife divorces him in a few short years when she becomes "unhaaaapppppy" one day. It's suckers game. Although I am glad Manginas like yourself are still taking the bait. If not, there would probably be a bachelor tax to subsidize the ladies more so than they already are.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Soccer/Hockey Moms and their Free Time
Posted: 5/16/2016 4:51:48 AM
Bamagrl68


Since you don't have children, what you do need to understand is the exhaustion of the REST of the week.
The work week is a nightmare for single moms.


Yeah but the thing is ( I can't speak for Danimal's girlfriend) that single parents in the above situation are putting themselves out there to date. You can look throughout these forums and see countless profiles of busy single moms looking to date. If they are exhausted and have insuffcient free time then why are they advertising themselves as available? Even more ironic most of these profiles state they are only looking for long term relationships or marriage. Even throwing out lines; no time for games, can't waste time for nothing casual ect.

So why are people that are advertising themselves as available for a relationship when we both agree that insufficient free time and energy are lacking for a relationship? If that was conveyed to Danaimal, then I hardly blame him for crying foul, sounds as if he was mislead.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Soccer/Hockey Moms and their Free Time
Posted: 5/14/2016 6:36:39 AM

How much dating time would you think is 'adequate' to expect from a single parent of 2-3 kids in this age bracket?
Once a week? Twice a month? Two hours every 15 days?


Sweet_Danimal
At your age and as long as you have been on these forums, I'm surprised you would ask such a question.

If you are defining date as; 1 on 1 time away from the kids, at a sports bar having drinks and adult conversation, then probably once a week tops or once every other week. It largely depends on how much of a active role does the bio-father play in the kids lives.

The reality is that the progression of a relationship with a single parent lacks any middle ground. So unlike a relationship where the kids are grown or the two people are childless, you would see each other more frequently as the relationship progressed. In this situation, the dating frequency you have now is the most its ever going to be. So you would need to be content with this or you have to go all balls in and start integrating yourself into her life. That is contrary to what is said here, a male role model/ father figure, either directly or indirectly if you wanted to spend more time with her.

So directly; going with her to Billy's soccer game and getting some dialog on the bleachers.
Or taking her to the Pizza place and getting some dialog/ time after the meal while kids are playing air hockey/ arcade.

Or indirectly; Danimal, can you grab (XYZ) from Walmart and run errand (ABC) so I can take Billy to practice and we can both end up at my place by 8 in time for a movie.

Hope this helps!
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:51:15 PM

She will resist but keep being sexual? I'm afraid you can end up in handcuffs following this advice.


And the arresting police officer would be in the wrong for being....culturally insensitive...or some such nonsense lol.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 63 (view)
 
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:49:05 PM

If there is a sea of single mothers on POF where exactly is the Ocean of baby daddies


That's the misunderstanding. There is not a baby daddy for every baby mama. If there was, there would be a equal amount of childless women as men on here lamenting the lack of childless partners.

What's happened is these alphas, playas, bad asses, whatever, are going around siring children with multiple women. So in the end 30% of men are impregnating 50% of women. This leaves a deficit of pristine women for childless men to court.

Making matters worse, as these women who made less then optimal reproductive decisions get older, they "mature" and exclude the former 30% of the male population they were previously attracted too deeming them incompatible with their new lifestyle. Now they want men with good prospects, preferably childless, while childless men with good prospects want childless women or are already married to a former childless woman.

See the conundrum?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Do you really want a THUG?
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:37:15 PM

My fiance and ex-boyfriend are both Black and told me they've been rejected (by mostly Black women) for being "not hard enough", "corny", "having no swag", etc.


According to the media narrative, with the recent shootings, is that police and whites in general are presumptuous or prejudicial when it comes to black criminality. But according to what you saying, its a prevalent phenomenon for black men to aspire to criminality or the persona....... and people are in the wrong to perceive....acts like a duck ...quacks like a duck....

Has society become that retarded?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Grandparents raising grandchildren....
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:30:37 PM

It's a sad assumation that it's a female offsprings, offspring.


Because it typically is. I would go further and wager it is more often than not a liberal grandparent that has to end up raising their daughter's offspring (substandard parenting).


understand just like your children your grandchildren are a package deal.


Sour grapes? It's unfortunate some of us draw the short straw in the game of life, but I wonder how many grandparents raising grandchildren would have the same perspective if they weren't in their current predicament? I would wager they wouldn't give a custodial grandparent the time of day like they are all to eager too now.


A woman my age may see you as a loving man…but a very BUSY man. Perhaps too busy to build a relationship with...


Why is it agreed upon that a grandparent that is raising his grandchild objectively does not have sufficient free time to foster a relationship, yet when it pertains to younger single moms raising children, we are suppose to pretend as if they have more hours in a day?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Older single parents with younger kids?
Posted: 5/13/2016 3:19:52 PM

Wow I'm 41 and my 2 youngest are 2 and 3 months, I new on here


One would wonder why you would be attempting to date with children so young, particularly a 3 month old? That means you are still lactating milk to feed a child you had just birthed from another man. Think maybe cooling your jets until they are out of diapers? At 41, it's not like you are going to be missing anything by delaying dating and focusing on your kids...babies.


I'm wondering if I should just forget about dating if it is going to be this hard to find someone who is ok with younger kids


Again, at 41 with kids so young, particularly one with special needs, it's unlikely to find a middle aged man that has on his bucket list, "I want to start raising some guy(s) infants for the next 20 years". Not that it doesn't happen, but those are typically younger women in your situation that may have the commodity of having subsequent children with the new spouse, younger parents that can baby-sit, youth, ect.

Not that you couldn't casually date but based on the timeline of having a infant and wanting to date so soon, it really screams that you are sending out a SOS, which guys can see miles away.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 40 (view)
 
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 3/6/2016 9:15:14 AM

It sounds from msg 37 above that a man who is not on the top of looks/success ladder and wants "steady sex" will have to either be open to dating single mothers or keep pissing and moaning on this forum for eternity.


Yep, looks like he chose the latter.

If I were part ways from my child's mother, I would date single moms. I don't want more children so I have no obsession to find a childless woman. That being said though, I would date single moms as long as they were able to keep their dating life separate from their kids life.
Don't need to be sharing residences or such. Don't need my child coming over for visitation and having conflicts and have accusations of favoritism. Don't need all the hassles of having under-aged roommates that I have no say over.

Can't get a sitter? Nah, i'll stay at my place and make it a Sam Adams/ PS4 kinda night. :)
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 37 (view)
 
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 3/6/2016 8:10:24 AM

Then get some fvckin' Lubriderm and wine and age gracefully.


I told him that on another thread, to save money for a Real Doll™.


Someone has to raise the children and divorced women often have that role.


Women also are the one's who file for divorce over 70% of the time. That's like expecting credit for returning something you stole.


I personally would find it odd that a woman with custody of her children still wants more kids.


Typically they don't. Men pursuing LTR or marriage typically do so; for starting families, love/ companionship and of course steady sex. That's why terms have evolved like 'damaged goods', since divorced women with kids typically don't want more kids ( or resource depleted with the ones they have), typically have little free time since they are the primary parent. That leaves one thing. With that in mind, a lot of men find those women- poor prospects as a spouse.

This mind-set for men proportionally increases depending on the man's success, as he is more likely to procure a childless women the more successful he is. This is why you hear claims of;

"all that men want is sex" as they have little else to offer
or
"where have all the good guys gone?", as women in the situation have disproportionally more advances from unsuccessful men who have few options, rather then "goo guys wit goo jobs".


or do you feel popping out kids to keep up with the Jones' and Smith's is your only purpose in life


Isn't that the prime directive of every organism?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Would you have children with someone you wouldn't have a longterm relationship with?
Posted: 3/4/2016 8:12:03 PM

That is no uncommon. Typically, women. except elite women that already have the best, mate with someone dependable and a good provider for them and their children. However, when they are ovulating, they seek the best genes for their egg and that may be someone they would not or could not have a long term relationship with. Therefore, on average their children have greater fecundity . The evolutionary advantage is great enough (as much as 0.5 % per generation) that I believe that women that did not select the best genes when a low risk of discovery opportunity was available are not our ancestors


Easy there. A lot of women on here have already heard the "Alpha genes for breeding , beta providers later".

No need to scare off potential betas.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Mrn, how many of you would date a pregnant woman?? Why or why not?
Posted: 3/4/2016 7:44:52 PM

What is objectionable about it?


Are you referring to dating the pregnant woman or the woman looking to date while pregnant?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Anybody get frustrated with not getting responses?
Posted: 3/4/2016 7:42:37 PM

My biggest frustration on here and other dating sites, is lack of responses.


Wise man say, if one continues to strike out, consider saving one's coin for a Real Doll™ or a mail-order-bride.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Why do men disappear after a couple days of talking?
Posted: 3/4/2016 7:37:19 PM

Why do men disappear after a couple days of talking?


Like someone else mentioned, they probably made a assessment that it probably wasn't worth their while. Either for a relationship or access to your passion fruit.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 27 (view)
 
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 3/4/2016 7:34:22 PM

The first contiguous group of 169* in SERPs (there were many subsequent pages)
online yesterday Thursday, March 3, 2016
Spruce Grove/Edmonton, Alberta:

97 women 32-38 have no children
7 of these women don't want children

72 women 32-38 have child/ren
18 of these women don't want children


I'm astonished by those results. Not that I don't believe you, perhaps a Canadian thing. In my part of the States you would be hard-pressed to find women over 30 without children. Most are of the variety (growing trend ) that chose guys who at this point don't support their kids and aren't involved in their kids lives. But their not looking for support or a new Dad for their kids (wink wink).
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 3/4/2016 7:23:40 PM

That's why I would not want to be with someone who still wants kids, because my kids are not going to be the step children in the shadow of the "golden biological child" that is born after them. If he has kids already


A good point. This plays out not only with half-siblings, but for step-siblings as well.

I have guy friends with kids who have divorced and started dating again. They would date other divorced women with kids and all would be going well. Once they started to cohabitate then they saw issues like you had mentioned. "His kids" "her kids", you don't acknowledge mine when you have yours for the weekend. What a mess.

A lot of the time perceived favoritism is thought even when it doesn't exist. Just human nature I guess. That's why if I were to become single again, I would date and even commit and remain monogamous, but I wouldn't cohabitate with someone while they had school age children living at home. Particularly under high school age.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 3/4/2016 6:56:39 PM


Is there really anything wrong with that? If she loves him AND he's a good match for the family (good provider, kind, loving)? I was one of those young, single parents who got married and went on to have a second child. My children have a close bond with one another (and to their parents).


No, not at all. However the OP is talking about women who have kids and do not want more.

He said he was fine having a child with someone who already children. Someone who, like you, had a child and then had another child together that provided the glue to solidify the new family unit.

Since he was having such bad odds pursuing single moms that more often then not did not want more children, I was advising him to just look for childless women. Some single moms in his dating range who don't want more children may claim to be open for more kids so they don't disqualify themselves from a significant portion of the quality male dating pool. ( guys without kids obviously are more likely to have more disposable income). I just didn't want to see him end up losing the remainder of his prime reproductive years on lost causes.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 3/3/2016 7:53:01 PM

One problem I found with dating single moms, is I want to kids someday and a lot of them don't. Especially since I'm 31, trying to find a woman wants kids has gotten more challenging since younger ones are harder to get a hold of. I don't mind step kids, but would like to have one or two of my own.


The family unit single moms desire is you becoming the father figure for the kids she has already created. They are counting down the days for her kids to leave the nest. The last thing they want is to have more kids and reset the hour glass.

Find a childless women.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Mrn, how many of you would date a pregnant woman?? Why or why not?
Posted: 3/3/2016 7:41:14 PM

I can't imagine wanting to date while pregnant....but that's just me.



But this is the new Amurica. A lot of women are in this situation .... and it's not their fault lol.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 3/3/2016 7:17:33 PM

I can't believe how many single mothers are on POF in my area!

Almost Every single woman I look at in the list has a kid or two...

Wow......

Where's all the non kid single women?

For someone who doesn't want to date a single mother, it's making things very hard to find anyone.


Some of the this is common sense.

1. At 42, it would only be reasonable to say that you wouldn't be dating anyone younger then 32. Most women over 32 have kids.

2. Most women without children can meet many potential suitors without using a online personal because they can meet them during normal day-to-day motion and social outings since they do not have lifestyle/ time restrictions that single mothers do raising children.

3. Single mothers are probably the poorest female demographic and thus are disproportionately represented on a free dating site in contrast to a paid one like e-harmony.


So then why do you have open to dating women with children in your profile if you truly don't want to?


Agreed. OP, don't fool yourself into thinking you'd be happy raising step-children in order to fulfill you goal of having a child of you own.
It's not for everyone. The only people that get hurt are the children and it ends bad for everyone. Some guys can do it, some can't. I know I can't and can say that it's definitely a more fulfilling experience starting your own family. Kudos to the step dads though.

Most women on average only have one or two kids. That being said, the single moms in you dating range are not looking to have anymore kids. Quite the contrary, most are counting down the days when the kids are grown and she can sprout her wings and fly away. The reality is most single moms 30-40 are looking for relationships because they pose almost no disadvantage yet have the potential to provide more resources and assistance in raising their children. More often than not after the kids are grown the relationship ends and she pursues the lifestyle or mate she ideally desires but could not have attained while she was inhibited by the raising of dependent children.

It's not that I'm trying to knock women doing the best for their kids. My point to the OP is that you are better off holding out for a childless woman rather then settling for a scenario you know you truly don't want to be in. Continue to look for a childless woman looking to start a family or at a later age be humble with being childless and find a women later on with grown children where you are on similar footing.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 600 (view)
 
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/9/2016 4:52:41 PM

A woman would have to be pretty dumb and stupid to get married to a guy who was lazy and irresponsible...


Yeah...but....he has swag and tats....
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Men, would you date a woman who is pregnant? Why or why not?
Posted: 2/9/2016 4:45:59 PM

I think you should find a nice guy at your church.


She is 31, has one fatherless child, one on the way and still interested in men's ding-a-lings.

I don't know what church or Zeus can do to help.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Prenant & Seeking Male for Long Term Relationship
Posted: 2/9/2016 4:33:15 PM

Prenant [sic] & Seeking Male for Long Term Relationship



Does this strike anyone else as being off-kilter?


I don't know why so many women play coy by not stating the obvious that pregnant women and young single mothers are looking for men predominantly for increasing the household income and assisting in raising the kid(s)/ to be. Why else would someone with such looming responsibility be so obsessed with finding a mate after they already made such significant life choices?

One would think that since having sex with men got them into their current predicament, they would subsequently avoid men like the plague.

It seems the cause and the remedy are one and the same.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 726 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/30/2015 3:28:56 PM

Pressured by whom? I don't see that at all. If a guy chooses to date a woman with kids, that's his right and if he chooses to marry her, his choice to. Who is pressuring him? Sure there are studies out there showing the benefits of marriage to men, but do you think most guys have the foggiest notion of the existence of those studies? Heck, a good portion of the US population could not identify Alaska on a map of the world. Regardless, those studies don't jump out of cyberspace, point a gun at a guy and tell him to marry her or else. You make utterly no sense, nor does the other poster. Its all a bunch of gobbledygook. That phenomenon is not limited to coming from women.


Ok, you are stuck on the word "pressuring ". The claim I am making is that pressured or not, men that marry get shafted, particularly in the scenario I painted. The claim I am making is that the propaganda pushing men to marry is to fix the financial disaster created by female promiscuity, hypergamy and no fault-divorce and it is not pushed for men's benefits.

Notice they say married men live longer. All these marriage studies probably only show men that get married and stay married.

Let's see health studies of men who get married and then go through a divorce.

Au voir
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 724 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/30/2015 2:52:07 PM

How does marriage change anything? These single fathers are generally shiftless, unemployed and dead broke. If they weren't, if they were responsible human beings, they would be paying child support to the mom's anyway and the mom's would not need to be on welfare. Married or not, dad is still liable for the kid's welfare . . if the mom holds him to it anyway. I am trying to see the logic in your conclusion, but it just doesn't make any sense.


I can see how you are confused since things have changed. Typically after women breed with the losers they finally grow/ wake up and realize they need to procure a good guy with good job. It's this beta male sucker who is the one that is pressured to marry the this women he is dating for her to get the lock in. See the logic now?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 723 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/30/2015 2:44:20 PM
Edit. 3rd paragraph meant with grown dependents.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 721 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/30/2015 2:35:45 PM

According to whom? Again, take a deeper look at the rhetoric and funding behind these "studies" and you will see that all is not what it appears to be. Its a giant sales pitch trying to repair and restore the merits of marriage since single family households are the primary (almost exclusive) welfare recipients. Its about who pays and getting people into marriages shifts the financial burden away from the State to the members of the household. That is why they are expanding community property legislation to become more inclusive including new terms such as palimony. What you should ask yourself is why are they publishing these "studies" showing how men are the primary beneficiary of marriage. Who are they trying to sell?


I agree. The studies conflate all age demographics and the devil is in the details.

Sure, a 25 year old woman who divorces with young dependant children will more than likely have little retirement portfolio, low income and low mean overall. However that data is skewed by the older demographic.

A 45 year old woman who divorces with no dependants is going to get half of her ex's 401k, possible alimony and other assets including equity in the home. That could be 250K easy. How many women on here who tout that they have their own retirement was created by the acquisition of their ex-husbands blood, sweat and tears?

But who are they trying to sell marriage too and why? Not the older demographic. Older men are reluctant because they don't want to get raped again. Older women don't because the fulcrum has pivoted with the acquisition of the ex-s wealth so they are in to a position to lose. So who?

They are selling marriage to younger men. Why? What's happened is the women that get with the deadbeats (see my earlier thesis regarding fathers influence) are disproportionably having more kids then the women that have kids with providers.

Because of this the welfare state has become unsustainable. They have taxed the middle class all they can and they are trying to shift that fiscal liability off the taxpayer and on a individual basis.

They are looking for these younger men too "man up" and marry these gals to get them off those welfare benefits. I suppose dollar for tax dollar, the fiscal cost is mitigated having the liability compartmentalized.

This is not wild speculation as you had mentioned the community property legislation and testament of Canada's draconian, "Loco Parentis" doctrine. I think most older guys have blinders on since they "got theirs" when the getting was good, yet are bewildered when some men are swimming against the current and saying, "no thanks".
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 720 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/30/2015 1:12:06 PM

Right, about what I expected from someone who has nothing more than a teaspoon of knowledge prefaced by a BUCKETLOAD of 'opinions'....

Isn't that what manure is carried in?....Ooooohhh! Right, that IS what BS is usually carried in....a BUCKET,...lol

Go away troll, your opinions are unfounded, unresearched and just plain ridiculous and frankly, haven't met ANYBODY in my Life who has gotten divorced, 'just because they felt like it'....riiiiiigggghhhht...


Coo-coo! Lol, just because you lose a debate doesn't mean the other person is a troll. Plenty of people agree with me and Msg.622 states she personally knows several women who have divorced capriciously.


I never venture into the single parent forum, but IRL I am a middle aged woman, and I have three sons in their twenties. The subject came up one time when we were having dinner, as my 24 year old had gotten to know a girl at work with a little boy, and was talking about their friendship. His brothers were quite vocal in their shared opinion that he should not date her because of the child, and he said he had no intention of doing so, for that very reason. They were just friends. If his brothers hadn't said it, I would have. I think it would be a bad idea to be in instant parent at his age. Now, if they are still single in their thirties or forties, they may very well need to compromise as there are far fewer women in their thirties or forties who don't have kids. Anyone considering becoming a step parent needs to have his or her eyes opened wide to the realities and legalities that come along with that burden/blessing and it's up to him or her to make an informed decision.


^ Great post and advice.


What do 50+ men want? To have their cake and eat it too...http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2015/04/27/whatguyswant/why-do-men-value-different-traits-in-wives-and-daughters/
An impossible set of standards if you ask me. No matter what, you're hooped.


That study fits me to a T as a father of a daughter myself. It is double standard but not a impossible one and it makes logically sense.

My daughters mother was raised by a Boomer woman who filled her head full of the hollow girl power mantra but no substance. You know the; " You can be just as rich as a man, you just have to try harder". "Try what Mom?". "Ugh, you, know, try". "Try what?" "You know, try".

There was no specifics regarding buying what you can afford, not what you can get on credit ( like the ethics the WWII generation had), Minimalism. being frugal, delayment of self-gratification ect.

I wasn't there for the first 28 years of my partners life. So yes, I want her to be submissive so she can alter her previous ways, which works since she has since cut all her credit cards. She is letting me lead.

My daughter is being taught to be independent to prep her for adulthood the proper way and because she needs to set the bar high so she never settles for a man no less wise then daddy.

Makes perfect sense to me.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:37:50 PM

I've had my children, and now it's my turn to find somebody who's also done having children (and whose children are grown). All too often, I have encountered problem after problem with men my age who are still struggling to raise their (very young) minor children and don't have the time to build a relationship. I don't want their drama; I don't want my income to go their other family's care; and I don't appreciate being told that I must settle or reduce my preferences because they don't find it agreeable that as a mother myself to a grown and adolescent son), that i don't have options or the right to exercise them.


I agree with everything you said. The thing is though, what you described pertains not just to middle-aged men with young children, it pertains to anyone will sole custody of young children. I've also observed that older women 40+ that choose not to date men with young children, always lead off their decline with " I've had my kids", "I've done my time", "Been there, done that". I say that because regardless if a person has had or raised kids themselves doesn't have any bearing on whether the other party (men with young kids) has time to build a relationship or not.

I bring this up because whenever I have seen men decline relationships with younger single mothers, men are normally called shallow or self-absorbed.

Why is it we can all agree that a middle-aged man with sole custody of his kids objectively does not have sufficient free time to foster a relationship (generally speaking), yet when it comes to younger sole custody single mothers, some how everyone pretends (or stays silent) they are able to perform the same feat that their older male counterparts cannot?

Somehow they can squeeze that 10bls of sand in a 5lb bag. Like I said in my last post, one would assume some of the financial obstacles wouldn't be there with a middle-aged man since generally they would have more earning power then a 25 year old single mom.


on women's profiles I've seen them write stuff such as :

am incredibly busy
have 3 children
work two jobs
spare time taken by caring for an elderly parent
kids have soccer and football practice
I volunteer at the hospital

"BUT IF YOU'RE SPECIAL I'LL FIND TIME FOR YOU"


Most of the women I dated in my 20's were sole custody single moms. Although each situation varied, everyone of them lacked free time for a actual relationship.

Each persons day started with waking at 6, getting kids ready, going to work, coming home, making meals, homework, playing with kids then when the kids went to bed at 9 (if they did) normally they would surf channels for few minutes then nod off. Weekends were catching up on sleep, housework then kid activities.

Between work, kids and the house the only time for a relationship these women had were after 9PM and by then they were worn to a frazzle. Hardly a relationship when some is nodding off during a conversation or giving up sex (thrice a week) more as chore to keep you sticking around.


My vagina isn't a martyr for lonely men saddled with too many responsibilities.


Exquisitely poetic.

But what you said is the truth. I don't know why people look for a relationship when they know they don't have the time for one. Could be loneliness, but more than likely they are sending out a SOS for help (physical and/ or financial).
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/24/2015 1:27:40 PM

I find it odd that someone raising a child doesn't want to be with another person that is raising a child. I can fully understand that a person that never had children or a person who's children are now grown and gone from the home wouldn't want to date someone with children at home. But someone that has children, is dealing with co parenting or shared custody or full custody, why would they not want to date someone in the same situation? It's like saying "yes, I have a dog but you can't have a dog if you want to date me?" It makes no sense.



Since the erosion of traditional domesticated roles ( both step/parents have equal authority and say) coupled with non-custodial parent drama, unruly children themselves and financial limitations, being in a step parent role more often then not is more hassle then its worth. Even if the one party has kids herself, she may not consider herself and her situation a hassle to be reconciled with, even though that may be the case.

I do wonder why women that decline dating custodial fathers seem to get less scrutiny then men that decline dating custodial mothers? Particularly when statistics have shown that custodial fathers are more likely to have more financial resources, better behaved children and less overall drama then their female counterparts (women with actively involved ex-partners this is less prominent).

If I were to separate from child's mother again, I would not consider long term relationships or cohabitation with another woman until my child is grown or significantly older. Unfortunately, most women in their thirties with kids, contrary to what they overtly say, are looking for guys to cohabitate with to alleviate their financial and child-rearing woes.

More then likely that would mean serial dating as they would leave when they knew there attempts at cuckoldry have failed. Works for me!
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 619 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/24/2015 10:37:11 AM

My ex and I co-parented as best we could. My children never had a stepfather; they never even met anyone I dated until the youngest was 19 years old. What's so unfair about me not wanting to date a man with young children?


I made a generalization which has exceptions. You didn't have a step father for your kids so my post is not applicable to you.


Also, I have heard that step-parenting can be very trying, and quite often contributes to the breakdown of the marriage. These stepfathers who "lightened the load" may have also brought their children to the relationship, so the single mothers were also stepmothers at the same time. Furthermore, if the step-father thing didn't work out so well, there is even more reason she may not be keen on being a step-mom.


I agree with everything you said (except step father's kids are generally a nominal presence in the step mothers life due to visitation). But if we both agree to this universal truth, why don't we see more middle age women enlightening younger men to avoid considering long term relationships with single mothers as this path may not be in their best interests and may have negative financial, health and other long term consequences?


What difference does it make to me what "so many women" had?


What it shows is the true motivations of younger single parents and the disingenuous nature of them looking for life long relationships. It illustrates they are only concerned with short time survival in raising the children they currently have and not in future with the step parent post child rearing. Quite frankly, I don't see how someone could look for a compatibility in life long partner when they already know they want to a live a completely different lifestyle when the kids are grown. Example;

My name is Jane and I spend most of my time home with my kids. But starting around 2028 when the kids are grown, I plan on doing a 180 and live life on the go, travel and be a free spirit. Are you compatible?

Huh?!?!?

Your Free Advice & $5.00 will buy me an expensive cup of Coffee...... Otherwise it's Just the Blathering of another Internet Expert.......


More free advice from one ex-tobacco user to another. Don't get discouraged from vaping. Get a nice Kanger tank and 2500ma battery box. I see a lot of older people get discouraged smoking cessation using ecigs (sucking through a coffee straw) and not a PV (personal vaporizer)


Man you are full of sh1t. It is well known statistically that men benefit from marriage more than women but I'm sure you know that. Sounds as if you are getting your info from the redditt forums.


Now now, no reason to be bitter. I should have said divorce from the marriage was lucrative. Are we upset we did not complete a reproduction cycle and be awarded cash, prizes and child support annuities?


And while you are stereotyping the single gals as being similar to characters from Sex in the City (*HUGE eyeroll*) what you seem to be avoiding is the facts that more women are single by choice than ever before who can support themselves financially. The average age a woman gets married / children are steadily climbing and women are less likely to remarry after divorce than men. Women live longer than men no matter if they have been married or not and single women have more money, are more healthy, do less housework, have more friends, better sleep and get paid more than a married woman. Oh yes, don't forget alcohol consumption: studies show that it is married women who consume more alcohol than single women nevermind their prescriptions for anti-depressants/anxiety medication.


You do realize you contradicted your own premise by describing young professional women as those in Sex in the City?
If lifestyles portrayed in shows like that were not appealable and admirable, they would not be that popular.


And I have to admit that I know several women who divorced just because they felt like it. That's it. No abuse of any kind.

It is what it is. I don't know why others felt the need to criticize me for speaking a truth. Guilt perhaps?


A "3 some" before they die.


Once again Peppermint, the radiance of your beauty is only outshined by your wisdom.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 611 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/23/2015 4:03:00 PM

The thread is about what men 50+ want, and I haven't seen too many men mention they want someone who doesn't mind being around his kids, but IRL, I find this is often a requirement.


With so many women getting lightened loads and assistance raising their kids in their younger years by men being step fathers, one would think there would not be reluctance to reciprocate the good fortune they had previously received.

Reading some of the over 45 threads, most women wouldn't touch a older man with young kids with a 15' pole. Ironically, the same people either agree or stand quiet while men get lambasted and attacked for not dating women with young children in the single parents forum. It's refreshing to see what the end motivations are from their future selves.

I guess most people are only be willing to be inconvenienced/ restricted by what they currently have to be?
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 610 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/23/2015 3:38:05 PM



I'm seeing that the 'authority' on women being touted here is the Bible...

Oh yes, that bastion of Truth and Misogyny, wrapped and tied with a pretty bow of 'explanation' for women and their 'evil ways'....
Funnily enough, men STILL marry women and still want to be with them....Go figure?

And yes, of course...men have ZERO responsibility for their OWN behaviour since all those terrible women have demanded to be treated as human beings with ACTUAL rights and all...

I'm NOT going to 'cry for the old days', when women were generally treated as property with no say in their own lives and.or fate, just because there's a bunch of soon to be dead men who seem to think that was the 'demise of the family unit as we know it'....

The REAL men that I know don't feel that their power as men has been diminished at ALL, by the equality of women, and in fact DELIGHT in having a real partner who challenges them and helps them to create a better Life for them and their family....


And THIS is where I stop responding as though you were actually a rational human being, as you've CLEARLY displayed your ignorance and bias....

I'll just let all of those women who still suffer from domestic violence know how "infantile" they're being just so we're all on the same page....
And yes, of course, there are ALL of those women who are throwing away perfectly GOOD marriages, upsetting their lives and the lives of their children, usually taking a hit financially, lose their home, friends, etc. all just so they can' hang with their g/f's'....
Yup, that's EXACTLY what's going on there....

I mean really???

This is some of the more ridiculous nonsense that I've ever seen on these forums, frankly, but if demonizing women is what gets you through the night, well, I am surely not going to stop you...
Good luck with that....I understand there are still enough female anti-feminists out there who you can be with, who are too foolish to see the forest for the trees, and spend their time in useless sympathizing with dinosaurs like you.....So I'm sure that you won't have a problem with one of them being with you for your money as long as they act as though that's NOT why they're really there, as all good 'traditionally raised' women have been taught....


You really do lack reading comprehension. I never said I supported female oppression nor was I making light of battered spouses. I am appreciative social mechanisms are in place for women to leave physically abusive husbands.

I was stating how things were, not what I support. And contrary to what narrative you want to believe, women are divorcing men for arbitrary reasons more so then abuse or other reasons.

You really have anger issues. The site below has a lot of good data for dealing with that.
http://www.34-menopause-symptoms.com/irritability.htm


Dee4166, just look at what Peter_Hungus picked as a user name...... That says a lot...... then He claims to be 37 in His profile, yet he's trying to set all us old fogeys straight in the over 45 forum...


I'm not the one in his 60's and single, so I'm sure free advice can do you good. Not to mention, if I'm footing you're retirement, I'm entitled to speak my mind.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 545 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/21/2015 10:45:29 AM

Simplistic views as to the whys and wherefores of marriage going back in history and women's 'roles' in it, are the province of the intellectually lazy....


Come on, you can do a better ad hominem attack then that.


There was NO 'well-thought' out rationalization as to them being 'incapable due to their instincts, etc.' anymore than you would have asked a LAMP where it wanted to be placed in a room.


Societies have known women are twits since antiquity. They knew then that women's sense of love, loyalty and commitment changed more often then the direction of the wind. The majority of biblical themes show women as easily tempted, easily manipulated and if allowed, unrestrained towards their own physical desires.

THE POINT of my initial post was not the reasons of female oppression. The point was to illustrate that men 50+ vanity for younger women, cynicism and reluctance for re-marriage was the direct result of women's behavior since that oppression ceased.


his idea of relaxation was beating the living SH!t out of her for fun, well, too bad, so sad, she had to live with it until he killed her.


This tired infantile argument that the "battered spouse" is the mainstream reason for divorce has really made everyone weary. Most women file for divorce for "irreconcilable differences" which typically is a euphemism for;

I don't want to be married
I want to run with my girlfriends
I want to get jack-hammered by the Fed Ex guy


I STILL see more women than not, who are not only raising their children alone, but are also doing it with NO financial help from the father, WHATSOEVER....


That's because those girls choose the bad ass losers for sperm donors because they have no father (to tell them no) in their lives ( see paragraph above) and/ or because they see mommy leaving daddy for their own personal desires instead of men of provision ( see paragraph above)

Coupled with electing the political parties that not only removed male influences over these issues, they give incentives through entitlements that enable and encourage young women to choose "exciting but non-provider" in lieu of "less exciting but providing" men for reproduction.

Also, to agree with, Hollywood as well.

It's a self feeding, self growing cycle.


For me I always looked at marriage as a trap for women


Hardly. Marriage is one of the most lucrative financial products a woman can purchase.










 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dating a single dad with a Downs Syndrome adult child.
Posted: 5/21/2015 10:12:31 AM

I have no kids and am completely free to do whatever I choose whenever I choose so I have absolutely no experience with this.
Will admit that my attempts to date men with young, dependent children has been fraught with hassles as the kids always come first.
Making going away for a weekend, going out, holidays etc incredibly difficult.


-- Know thyself
Don't let your infatuation with this gentlemen cloud your judgment in regards to how much you're willing to sacrifice and forgo.

You seem to have a low level of tolerance regarding normal dependent children, which you are perfectly entitled too and understandable at your age. Don't set yourself, the gentlemen or the child up for the hurt that will come already knowing you do not want the lifestyle restrictions or sacrifices required dating a parent with a special needs child.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 486 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/20/2015 6:21:14 AM

You are lacking an education in social history, this having input into who their children (not just daughters) should marry had to do with money, property, ownership and mergers.



No, it wasn't done because of that.


On the contrary, my education is quite extensive ma'am. I never said that was the exclusive reason and most of the issues (including dowry) you listed mostly pertained to the upper class in the 19th century which started tapering off by the turn of the century. In the 1920-40's (which would be 3-4 generations if you paid attention) for the majority of the middle class there was no land transfers paid by the bride's family or any significant dowry.

Father's at that time wanted to be sure the groom-to-be was a man of integrity, willing to work and a non-drunkard. They made that assessment because women were incapable of doing so. They were right!

Only about 14% of marriages ended in divorce in 1940. Currently its about half. Who's initiating the divorces, you guessed it! 70% of all divorces are initiated by women!

What I do lack is a understanding on why you felt the need to interject your opinion on this trivial issue yet did not comment on the salient topic of my post.

Truthful words sting?


I'm not sure what the "disastrous consequences of implemented liberal ideologies" are


That's probably part of the problem. Read my post again. For starters, think about children's lives post divorce.



and I'm glad that men and women can be picky and take it or leave it. Everyone's happier all around. Well, maybe not everyone. I know I am.


I am as well and agree wholeheartedly. For every Boomer that doesn't remarry means less spousal benefits drawn and more money left in the retirement coffer for my generation.
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 478 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/19/2015 9:14:02 AM

Oh come on ladies! 50+ year old men generally want 20 something year old girls to make them feel better about themselves (though I have NO comprehension HOW that makes them feel better)!


Not exactly, but you are on the right track.


Naaa, Running the risk of sounding crass here but most men typically goes for the best looking woman he can afford.


^ This. Men over 50+ would prefer someone younger, 35+. Evolution instills a drive in men to be attracted to women of reproductive age. The other reason is due to women themselves. Lets have a look.

What we are seeing is the disastrous consequences of implemented liberal ideologies over the past 50 years. For the majority of human history, marriages were arranged. Up until 3-4 generations ago, most fathers and elders had significant input to whom their daughters married (or did not). Failure to heed would have direct social ramifications. This was done because it was common knowledge that women had poor judgment in not only identifying predatory men, but also because women could not detach their instinctual desire for alpha males in lieu of men of provision.

What happened once fathers lost leadership of their daughters? Bam, right to the bad asses. Right to the alpha males solely on vanity without a care for the long-term. Or, you left the good guy in search of the bad boy. Or because cause you were bored (yawn) or wanted to "find yourself" and live the Sarah Jessica Parker lifestyle. All whilst justifying and rationalization to yourself the divorce you were perusing was in the best interests of the kids. Men afterwards still desired you because you were still attractive and brought that youthfulness to the bedroom.

Men 50+ have finally broke free from the chains of bondage. The child support extortion has been paid off. After the raping in divorce court, men 50+ have finally gotten their finances back on track and are prospering.

With this freedom these men are starting to look at the world through the same prism of vanity you women have been. Instead of alpha males that you desired, these guys are looking for the type of girls that might have turned them down or denied them breeding rights. Younger women with taunt bodies, supple breasts and hair longer then 3"s. After all, why not? Sometimes money can buy happiness.

The reality is women never counted on the pendulum swinging back at them. Here they are thinking they are still a commodity when there is no market for women with butts bigger then a mini and skin that resembles Egyptian papyrus. Don't get me wrong, there are lot of women over 50 that look very attractive, particularly those that didn't have kids, didn't smoke and those that took care of themselves. Unfortunately, most don't fall into that category.

Men can be picky now. Men are at the stage where they can take it or leave it. They are quite content with golf games with friends, boating or riding their motorcycles. A mediocre old woman just isn't worth it. That's not even factoring in women with derelict (grand) children that followed in their footsteps, women with poor finances or women with health problems.


This thread really illustrates the plight of the Baby Boomers. It wasn't poor financial planning or lack of pensions that put Boomers retirement in jeopardy. It was divorce.
Now women (50+) are looking for men 50+ not just out of desire, but necessity. They are looking for the men with the nice financial spread that can take them on cruises and provide a solid foundation for retirement.

The key for women is finding a guy while in your 40's at the latest, so there is a initial period where the guy loves you while you're in your best so there is a established emotional bond when you're at your worst. Otherwise, start collecting those cats.

Meow
Err, I mean
Ciao
 peter_hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 452 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/18/2015 7:28:44 AM

What do 50+ men want?


The same thing men 15-49 want.

Orifice access :)
 
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