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 Author Thread: What am I doing wrong?
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 7/18/2012 3:38:07 PM
I have pictures where I smile. I just personally think I look horrible in those ones because there usually taken when I'm not expecting. (Bad hair day, gained weight, not dressed appropriate, etc). Pictures where I expect it. For some reason I always feel that smile is forced or fake, so I don't. If I can find a pic where the smile is genuine and I like the rest of the pic then I'll probably post it. Lol i'm definitely don't have the bad boy look but don't let that fool you or maybe you should. Yeah I know the mirror pic was just one of my firsts pics I never took down. Just to have something up.

The Fence pic was taken by a professional. Unfortunately I no longer have the original.

I'll try trim some of it down. Top paragraph is just for levity. Not everyone is familiar with the ads. And if they do recognize them then kudos to them. Something to talk about.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 7/12/2012 3:21:30 PM
Yeah I guess I will have to buy a new camera start taking new pics for the profile or ask a friend. Lol I feel so awkward doing it.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 7/12/2012 1:41:40 AM
thanks good point, omitted.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 7/11/2012 10:20:43 AM
Thanks I edited it a little hopefully it helps. Heh. Profile writing can be a lot of work.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 7/11/2012 5:03:57 AM
I still don't have pics of me smiling or pics alone. I tend to be very stoic and reserved I can't help it but I am a complete joker when you really know me. I actually hate pictures of myself and If I am in one I prefer it amongst friends.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 7/11/2012 4:51:23 AM
Ok I made an update what do u think?


I'm a lover not a fighter but am fighter so don't get any ideas. I live vicariously through myself. Alien abductors have asked me to probe them. My enemies have listed me as their emergency contact. Once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels. I'm the only man to ever ace the Rorschach test. Hiker's are drawn to my rugged majestic beauty.

Honestly I don't know where to begin. I'm a CBC(Canadian Born Asian) who should probably get in more touch with his roots. I probably speak more Klingon then Cantonese. If you can guess I'm a bit of a Trekkie and a fan of every series aired. Heck I am a sci fi/fantasy geek in general.

I have an appetite for the weird and the esoteric. Seeking whatever interests or hobbies I can learn that might be interesting or out of the norm. My hobbies include. Drawing, Writing, Reading and collecting Comic Books , Gaming. I took Martial Arts temporarily and plan to get back to it someday. I'm trying to learn magic on my own(The art of illusion not the card game) So far I know 5 tricks and working on expanding my repertoire.

My sign is a Scorpio Ascending and I display many of those traits, good and bad. I'm a social person and I can be very gregarious and friendly but I can also be very private and rarely reveal anything about myself and I only share my most inner most feelings with those I feel closest. I tend to see through to the core of people and will overlook the superficial. Loyalty is very important to me.

My Myers Brigg personality is INTP. Which means I can be somewhat introverted and prefer small intimate gatherings with close friends. I look at things intuitively and prefer to see the big picture rather then dwell on the details. When faced with problems I can be very cerebral and choose logic over emotions.

I am also very Open to new experiences, very compassionate about the world around me and easy going about life.

I like reading and hunger for knowledge often seeking ways to cultivate myself as a person. I'm always trying to learn from whatever source I can find. I often collect things and have a very curious nature. Right now I'm trying to learn Magic, next I'm gonna learn a musical instrument.

I tend to flex my cerebral muscle and get lost in thought either theorizing or philosophizing about the world around me and how everything relates and effects one another. I live in the moment and adapt to what life throws at me. I'm seeking a genuine honest and intimate relationship.


Lastly My music tastes is very eclectic often changing with my mood. One moment I could be listening to something Instrumental and another I could be into Rap. Right now I am into Dubstep. When I go clubbing I'm not the type to stand around pretending to look cool with a drink in the corner. I'd rather be on the dance floor. On my downtime I do a lot of writing or drawing. My aspirations is to be a comic artist/writer. I'm also a big foodie and love exploring the cities culinary choices. When it comes to my cooking it can be very hit or miss and its more the journey then the destination that I enjoy.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/5/2011 5:21:21 AM
It wasn't you who I felt insulted or judged. I appreciate the opinion and advice. I just am bothered at how people point out what I did wrong. I already know and have pointed it out myself. I am already beating myself up for it. I don't need strangers to do it. So when people give me perspective, advice, that is appreciated. Making assumptions about me is not. Its just a pet peeve of mine. Jumping to conclusions.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/5/2011 5:15:41 AM
I'm trying my best to move on and treat her like I did before all this but her attitude around has me definitely changed. Less talkative. No eye contact. Isn't engaging. How she used to. Her routine would be to find some kinda excuse to come chat or be near me. Now that has changed.

Last Night she was reading some written letter and giggling and smiling. I was curious and asked.

And like two girls she was playing that game of giggling and whispering to one another in secret while the third person is left out.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/5/2011 4:58:11 AM
I don't have a cell anymore. I was making the call from home. When I make a call I need to actually speak to them or least be able to leave a message. Otherwise when i leave there is no way of contacting me. I am also very anal about planning. I keep calling because once I leave I wont have a chance to call them later or answer them back.

Right now I feel like I am being punished and judged for a minor incident that isn't me.
It really sucks being judged. I can feel it from some of the people who have responded with negative criticism. Saying how I must be a nut job. Perception and first impression is a big part of dating.

I could have been calling to cancel the date, I could have been calling because I was in a terrible accident. I could have been calling urgently too say I was being kidnapped by Colombian drug-lords. Its all about context.

I don't think she's interested anymore. Maybe later but right now I lost all my stock and need to regain it. So I'd like some advice on how to regain my stock with her. So far the advice was move on or act aloof.

If I manage to recover from this. I don't think I will be doing anymore footwork. It feels like she's testing to see how far I am willing to get her attention. Saying yes, pulling back, saying yes pulling back more.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/5/2011 4:38:39 AM
When this woman says "Then she asks me whether I wanted to see Harry Potter."

You say, "YES!!!"

You do not add to the question!!! Is that clear?

So, for now just wait and see if she calls you back. You've left enough messages. Ball is in her court.

First Week
I asked her if she wanted to hang out on Thurs: She said yes
My friends and I do movie night on Tues.They invited her to hang out as a group: She said yes.
I make a call to find out if she's still coming. Sometime has come up. What about Thurs? She's working. I say well OK maybe next time. We end up chatting for 30mins. Then an hour messaging on Facebook later in the week.

Next Week:
I've already give up on asking her out. She asks about Harry Potter
I'm surprised by the invitation. Say sure.
Taking this as my chance. I try to set an earlier date.

I screwed that up with my eagerness. I'm a worry wort and I guess I panicked. It was actually my friend who planted the idea of having to have "a plan" in my head. When I plan I get anal and freak out.

I really don't care whether we go see Harry Potter. I just want her to behave how she used to before the total **** up on my part.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/5/2011 4:22:33 AM
Your probably right and it was probably doomed from the beginning. I thought I had a slim chance but I definitely screwed that up. It was definitely a test that I failed. She barely knew me except as the guy she talked to at work. Who made her laugh. Up until I started showing interest. Up to that stupid mistake I lost total credibility. I'm like the impatient fisherman who draws the line too soon. Scaring away the catch.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/4/2011 2:42:57 PM
Wow calling me narcissistic and a nutcase is pretty harsh. I know I did wrong. I am embarrassed by it. I'm trying to fix my mistakes. We all have been guilty of making dating mistakes at least once in our life. When we do those mistakes we don't realize it til its too late.

I don't appreciate and i think its unfair that you are attacking me like this when you don't know me.

I wasn't thinking how obsessive I may have seemed. Only that we had plans, she is waiting for my call, she must have missed my call. I should try again to be sure. Each call had at least 1hr - 4hrs between them. It wasn't until after I was like oh shit I probably should not have done that. Hindsight is 20/20. If I miss a call I totally miss it. So then I worry that the same is happening for the other person. Which is why I try to hard to get in contact.

Exactly how many times is too many? Lets say I didn't make those calls. Either she missed it because she was really cleaning or she was screening. Why was she screening?

When I tried calling around 8ish. I knew she was home cleaning and could have missed the call again for the same reason but I just gave up knowing how desperate I appeared.

You make it sound like I called every min for hours. I just want to be clear I didn't but there is a thin line between trying and not trying. Where is that line?
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/4/2011 2:06:39 PM
Outside of a planned date, I actually don't call her much at all. If it where a regular social call I would not have bothered trying so hard. She is already filed.

On a side note her behavior around me has changed, less talkative, and can't make eye contact. I can sense avoidance. She also asked me to see harry potter so she must have had some interest. I probably should of just waited for harry potter and let her handle the logistics of the date.

I've tried to act cool about it like nothing has happened but there is an elephant in the room but that is an entirely different topic.

Before this incident. She was chatty, energetic, found reasons to hover nearby. I don't care about dating her. I just want things to be normal. I also don't like being misread.

Question to everyone. If you where expecting a call and where waiting. That person called last minute. You missed the call for whatever reason and didn't have call display or voicemail. (I don't). That person didn't try again.

How would you feel about that? I would think that this person didn't want to go out and didn't bother to even contact me to cancel.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/4/2011 1:53:31 PM
Whether its a date or not it just really frustrates me. I actually hate making plans because of this I would rather things be flexible.

I have made plans where I had to hold a table for 20 people at a place that didn't take reservations. Had people show up late and people who said they weren't showing arrive and having to find them a table. (This was my birthday which I should have been enjoying instead of having to worry.)

or missing a reservation entirely and having to scramble to find a new restaurant late at night. (Throwing a going away party)

That is why I call early and try so hard to coordinate because shit like this happens and it leaves me a larger window to plan and adjust. I need to know where everyone involves stands.

I'm not desperate, I really didn't care if she said no to the date. That is fine, we will reschedule. I am just anal with my plans and not knowing how to proceed drives me nuts.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/4/2011 1:39:16 PM
Well if the reason was that she couldn't hear the phone or whatever reason. Then she was home waiting and missed the call. I figured something like that might have been happening. So that is why I tried calling again withing an hour apart decided maybe she wasn't home. Tried calling again for the third time 3-4hrs later. Finally I get an answer. Tell her I will call again. Knowing she's home, cleaning. I call her again, three times. No answer.

If I wasn't vigilant and gave up. She would have missed the call entirely but in being vigilant I come off as obsessive.

The definite plan was we where seeing an evening showing. I didn't leave a message because there was no voicemail or answering machine. If i could have I would not have been in this situation.

I also wanna point out that I obviously know that what I did screwed things up. Reminding isn't want I'm asking for. I'm asking how do I remedy the situation. I sometimes forget how we behave and react around a friend is different how we behave and react around a date.

That our actions are read differently.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/4/2011 12:59:13 PM
I originally asked her if she wanted to go see an evening showing. She said she didn't know her way around the city all to well considering she just moved here. I was calling to confirm and find if she wanted me to pick her up or if she knew where to go. . I also wanted to know if she wanted to do lunch before hand.

I kept calling so I could coordinate with her. I didn't know she was busy until after she finally picked up.

If I had told her to go down and meet me at the theater. I would have went down myself and waited and not have her show up.

I guess I should also be a little clear on how many times I called. Once at 1pm, Second time at 2pm. waited til 4:30-5pm. Finally got through.

I didn't get a hold of her until later in the day and asked if we where still on. She said she was cleaning. I asked her when she was done her cleaning. She said 9. I told her the movie was 8. She said she wanted to go out and acted disappointed.

I told her well I can look up a later showing but I said do u still want to go? She said OK. I said, I will check then. Found a later showing. I told her that I will let her get back to what she was doing and call her at 8ish. I went out.

Again no answer and thrice I called but she should have been home. So if she didn't want to go why feign interest in hanging out? Why say yes to the movie, why yes to I will call you.

If she was home cleaning, why was she screening my call?

I like to call ahead to give us both time to get ready and do what we have to do. Its a bigger window of opportunity to do stuff and change plans accordingly.


I don't know if she's home or has call waiting. Had I only called once and gave up she could have been waiting for the call I already made but didn't know about.

So me giving up on the call could have be construed as giving up on the date or not trying.

 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 389 (view)
 
Do Women really avoid Scorpio's???
Posted: 7/4/2011 4:00:23 AM
funflirtyover30
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 340

Do Women really avoid Scorpio's???
Posted: 9/28/2006 136 PM
There seem to be a lot of Scorps reading this thread...

What is it that Scorpio's find most attractive in a potential mate?

To me the most important things are.

Someone who can match our passion and help us direct it. Someone who is faithful and trustworthy. Someone with enough patience when it comes to communication. Someone who knows its difficult for us Scorps to really be open. So if we do, cherish that moment because it will be rare.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 388 (view)
 
Do Women really avoid Scorpio's???
Posted: 7/4/2011 3:31:17 AM
A little more Scorpio perspective. I can't speak for all so I will speak for myself.

Yes we are secretive because really deep down we are afraid of really opening up and being hurt. I am personally an introvert. I'm friendly but only show the surface.

The real me. All the juicy bits I share with those i feel I can trust. Like a Scorpion our outer shell is a hard protection but flip us over our underside is soft and vulnerable. We use our stingers to protect our vulnerability.

We feel passionately about everything. Can you imagine feeling like that all the freaking time? Love is the most vulnerable state a person can be in. Heartbreak is worse then death to us.

So we s0metimes have to channel those feelings into our sexuality. Sex is easier to deal with then love. S0 we act like players to avoid that feeling.

We aren't lying or being manipulative to hide the truth. We do it because we want to keep people at a emotional distance to avoid being hurt ourselves. When we feel hurt or betrayed. It hurts 10000000x worse then you can ever imagine. So if it happens we sting people as a warning to never cross us again.

Jealousy is our warning system. I felt jealous with my ex but i never acted on it. I trusted her and gave her my trust but my suspicions where proven a month later. So if your even thinking about another guy or girl we can sense it. I literally had a dream premonition about my ex cheating on me. I jokingly told her about it and I could see the beads of sweat trickle down her face, her skin go pale and her eyes widen in terror.

To avoid the jealousy just communicate with us. Act or do anything suspicious. The more you do, the more crazy we will become. We need reassurance.

If we feel safe in the relationship we won't hurt you. Our love is deep and passionate. Its a part in us that we rarely share. So when you receive a Scorpio's love, you will know its true and honest. So please don't avoid us. Just understand what your dealing with and how we feel.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 387 (view)
 
Do Women really avoid Scorpio's???
Posted: 7/4/2011 2:36:25 AM
If its true that women avoid Scorpio's then I am totally screwed in the dating department.

I will admit that our passion can be a double edged sword.

Outwardly I seem a bit mild mannered. Actually I am really introverted and I tend to bottle up a lot of that passion. As for being players. I will admit I like to flirt a lot because I am deep down really shy. Having a girl react positively to my flirting really makes me feel good about myself.

I'm fiercely loyal to the ones I care, When people cross me or my loved ones my desire for vengeance kicks into over drive. I am talking scorched earth. I will totally fuck your shit up.

I don't get crushes, I get so passionately infatuated over someone, that it hurts. I feel like I'd move mountains for the person I like and that is just like. As for jealously, I try not to act jealous but deep down I am seething.

Intimately sometimes I need to remind myself to dial it down a lot and take it slow. When my Scorpio side just wants to go wild.

There is no middle ground for us. Treat us well we'll be great to you, wrong us and I guess we become a total nightmare. Usually its all or nothing.

I think sometimes those negative aspects have sabotaged my chance at a relationship.




 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Playing hard to get or uninterested.
Posted: 7/2/2011 8:07:11 AM
Oh I actually do have one bit of advice don't get all hung up on her. Keep her as an option and keep yourself open to other opportunities. The moment you start treating her like the only one, she'll think you have no other options and lose any interest if she had any. If you show others are seeking your attention, she'll get curious and try harder to be more clear of her interest.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Playing hard to get or uninterested.
Posted: 7/2/2011 8:02:23 AM
I have no advice on this one considering I am in the same boat when it comes to girls and trying to decipher their intentions.

As much as I'd like the straight forward reaction. I wouldn't advise it. Things are more complicated then simply finding out if she likes you.

Courting seems to be this complex psychological game where everyone dance around the subject. Covertly manipulating one another.

So all I gotta say is good luck and if she isn't interested well there are other fish. I hope things work out for you.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/2/2011 12:19:51 AM
Thanks for everyone's responses. It helped put things into perspective. I'm just gonna play it cool and aloof for now.

I hate this "nice guy" "bay boy" stereotypes I am a little in between and I am not totally shy. I'm pretty decent when it comes to flirting with girls and I have had a girls hit on me. I think that was what might have interested her a little. Its usually like that with other girls too.

Its the asking them out that I get stuck on. I don't know why. I started chasing and I became that wimpy nice guy again.

I find it really ironic that in order to get the girl I've got to be less attentive and pretty much treat her poorly to get her interest. I really hope that kind of game doesn't last long because I really don't think i can keep that up.

We work together I think I shall revert to flirting with other girls. I only stopped because I was interested in her and felt it was improper.

As much as I would have liked to have invite her to do stuff. I went out enjoyed the day at the beach with a good book, enjoyed a nice 10oz steak with frites w truffle oil. Creme Brule for dessert. Watched the parade and fireworks. It was a real good day, shame she missed out.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/1/2011 11:59:56 PM
Don't worry it's out on the 15th, plan was that we'd go see it week after. You haven't missed anything.

Ball is in her court if she knows its there. Don't worry I don't plan on waiting. I just have a tendency to try and keep my promises when I say I'll call.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/1/2011 11:19:31 PM
I actually did take her up on Harry Potter but its not out until next month. So we are gonna have to wait. She cancelled two things, hanging out as a group and hanging out one on one. Which I took as s sign of her disinterest but then the harry potter thing came up where she asked me. So now I am confused.

I don't know if not returning call as avoidance or genuinely being busy but something always seems to come up with her. But if she said no, busy or not interested i'd been fine knowing where we stand but now I feel like in the lurch wondering.

I wish things where just straight forward and simple no freaking head games. When to call, when not to call..I find it stupid because I would never have to second guess that with a friend and vice versa.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/1/2011 11:12:00 PM
Unfortunately she does not have voice mail otherwise I would have not tried so hard to get in contact. Yeah I know chasing makes me look desperate which is why I'm asking for damage control and advice on how to proceed next. Today would have been a nice day to hang out and watch the fireworks. unfortunately I couldn't ask because of my apparent act of "desperation" the night before. Its not that I am desperate or needy. I just expect when I'm planning something that all parties involved have an open means of communication so I can coordinate. I am the same way with my other platonic friends. I freaking hate planning things out.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dating Damage Control: Calling a girl.
Posted: 7/1/2011 2:41:03 PM
Alright I seriously need help with some damage control. I am a pretty shy guy. I finally got the nerve to ask someone out. She said OK. I got her number and Facebook. First attempt last week, something came up. So I thought maybe she's not interested. Then she asks me whether I wanted to see Harry Potter. I say sure but do you wanna hang out this week and catch a movie. She says sure. I say I will call you later in the week that day to confirm.

So Yesterday was the day. I tried calling her several times to confirm. I know bad, makes me look desperate but I needed to confirm our date and coordinate. I finally get through and she tells me she's busy til 9pm but she wants to go out. I say we can make a 9:55 showing. I go out and call her later again that day. No answer again. Ise she avoiding me, if she didn't want to go out she could have said so or is she genuinely busy?

Now I wanted to try to ask her again but I feel if I made that call I am gonna look more desperate. If I don't call am I gonna lose my chance with her. I hate these stupid dating games. I feel like I am in a catch 22, so any advice on damage control.

Also what is the rule on calling someone when a date was supposedly made? If we are supposed to hang out and they don't answer should I give up or keep trying because they are expecting my call and missed it?
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 5/28/2009 12:44:46 AM
Thanks for the tip. Yeah I know I'm actually pretty camera shy alone. You'll usually just see me in group pics or really bad shots when im off guard.

Thanks I appreciate that you appreciate my sense of humour. Hmm I totally forgot I even had it set to friends. I guess I was a little afraid of being shot down looking for someone to date.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 5/24/2009 3:21:55 AM
Ok edited it a little bit today wondering if its an improvement still need a new pic though
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 64 (view)
 
When ya write to another and not get a reply..
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:30:12 PM

and she is absolutely correct. We would be wise to refrain from reacting too harshly to the tone we get from the written word.


She? last time I checked I was a he.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 57 (view)
 
When ya write to another and not get a reply..
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:40:33 AM
Wanted to add a little more insight to this message you recieved. It may seem as though they are insulting you with comments about being whacky. Whether that was their intentions thats something you have to ask them yourself. Who is to say Whacky is supposed to be insulting. They took the time to compare it to being somewhat charming. They said they wanted to get to know you better to see if you where genuninely as intelligent as you seem to be or whether it was just a thin veneer you put on. I find that often we do that when dealing with people put on a persona before revealing the true you. They are inquiring you about your intelligence which shoes interest in you rather then something more shallow but thats just my perception of the post. take it or leave it.

I also wanted to point out that the tone of someones writing can be mistaken often. I noticed that some otheres who responded took the post as an insult.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 55 (view)
 
When ya write to another and not get a reply..
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:54:33 AM
Would I respond to that? Absolutely. Why? because what I see is someone complimenting you on your humor, creativity and intelligence while trying to exhibit their own. Sometimes you have to look behind the words.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
My Funny Valentine
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:47:33 AM
I wouldn't say mine was all that funny but I have to laugh at it or feel like the punch line. Like I was the butt of the joke. Sometimes you have to look at things that way. Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself in these situations.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
My Funny Valentine
Posted: 2/16/2009 3:08:34 PM
Well its another year without a Valentine's, four years since I've been in a relationship. Not that it mattered much to me. I bought two big box of chocolates for my coworkers, figured i'd do something nice for the girls. The actual day well I just had to treat it like any other day, woke up, worked out, vegged a little watching t.v., decided I wasn't going to waste my day and sulking so headed downtown to dine out, totally bad mistake there. What I should have realized was I would have to deal with overbooked restaurant's and lines with smooching couples. Love how life rubs that im single in my face. I felt so awkward but didnt want to let the day get me down. Bought a book, managed to find somewhere decent to eat, choked on a piece of calamari..lol at almost choking to death.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 50 (view)
 
When ya write to another and not get a reply..
Posted: 2/16/2009 2:41:31 PM
At first it bothered me alot but I came to realize people are either too busy or are flooded with messages, especially when they are the opposite sex. Seeidng that someones read your message and its deleted does suck though, a simple sorry not interested is prefered over being ignored. Makes you wonder whats wrong with you. It makes me appreciate the people who do respond even more though when i get it which isnt too often unfortunately.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 1/27/2009 2:19:49 AM
I'm having trouble with the pics thing until i take some new ones where i smile which of the ones i have should i be using?
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Accepting Losses
Posted: 1/27/2009 2:18:39 AM
Thanks to the both of you time is helping, although I think stupid things like doing my best impersonation of Dustin Hoffman and crash the wedding. Then I regain my senses and realize even if i did. She doesn't feel anything for me and we've been apart so long. We aren't the same people so who's to say i'd have any feelings for the girl she is now.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Accepting Losses
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:18:22 PM
I've been broken up from my last relationship, my first and only. Its taken me some time to get over her but I'm not sure if I am entirely. We tried being friends but I was incapable of hiding my feelings for her. Last time we spoke there was some chemistry between us but then she pushed me away further.at that time and had to cut all ties from her. Being away with her helped a little but there are times where I still thought of her. Currently I'm not sure what my feelings are. I still feel that loss but I'm beginning to forget why we where together, why I cared for her so much. I just know I missed the relationship we had. Although she said she wasn't being honest about our relationship so was what we had real? What am I missing if it wasnt? It makes me sad to think this way. Recently I had a moment of weakness. I tried contacting her and found out that she was engaged. It wasn't the first guy she's been with since our relationship but there was always a glimmer of hope now nothing. Part of me feels relieved that it forces me to move on. Another part feels regret that maybe I could have fought for her but then another side reminds me that as hard as I tried she pushed me away. I really dont know why I'm writing this I just wanted to get this out of me head and share
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 1/26/2009 3:05:59 AM
Your are all right about the no smiling thing I know. I just don't have many pics where I smile and I'm pretty damn camera shy. Its usually only candid shots that you catch me smiling. Not the ones i've posed for. I tried taking out some of the negativity so tell me what you think of it now. Thanks for the advice i appreciate it i'll see if i can add more happier pics. I am a happy person really really I am. i make people laugh and they say im crazy.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:49:19 AM
Hi thanks for the advice I cut some stuff out and made some changes to my profile. The pic i'll have to work on though. I'll be honest i am a little bit insecure about my smile. Ha your right i was being a bit negative, I guess I was in a bad mindset when I wrote it. Sometimes i'm a little too honest.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Just curious what a man thinks...
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:13:40 AM
Hmm I dont know if any women I know have any misconceptions about me. I'm a private person but Ii never misrepresent who I am and the type of person I am. I'm pretty genuine. If you want to make misconception about me though, feel free lol.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 37 (view)
 
if a woman is too hot
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:04:23 AM
I admit sometimes I lack the confidence to do so but i'm pretty friendly and bold so it depends on my mood and the situation we are in. If I sense they are approachable I will but sometimes you get a vibe that their walls are up and that they automatically expect you to be a creep. Sometimes however i'll luck out and find someone who wants to talk to you. Yeah talking to someone hot isnt my problem. Getting their numbers, asking them out thats a different thing all together. Although I had someone hot approach me once, that totally through me off, lol.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Which is worse....
Posted: 3/4/2008 4:17:59 AM
I live with my dad becuz my mom died not too long ago i've had opportunities to leave but havent. There are plenty of times i wish i had but deep down i'd feel guilty if something happened or feel bad if i'd abandon them.

What do you think of that? Does this make me a loser somehow?
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 106 (view)
 
Female singers in hard rock/metal.
Posted: 3/4/2008 4:01:24 AM
I like Lacuna Coil, does that count?
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 3/4/2008 3:55:13 AM
What am I doing wrong? Can someone tell me is it my profile? What can I fix there? I wear my heart on my sleeve and its who I am. Any advice on what I should add or exclude in my profile. Do I somehow present myself as undesirable?
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Why can't men handle hardship and love at the same time?
Posted: 3/4/2008 3:23:23 AM
I can totally empathize with him. He probably feels insecure and is playing the martyr. He feels that he cant measure up to what you need and that one day you'll realize that. You may care for him now but how long will you be willing to put up with his shit? Becuz if he does care for you well i think it would be heart breaking for him when you do decide that it wasnt working out for you two. We're sometimes cowards when it comes to love. Its not something we can physically fight or fix. Its something out of our control and well maybe he doesnt wanna put you through the hell he thinks he'll put you through. We have a hard time showing our vulnerability, you picking up the tab as generous and nice as it may be just makes him feel more vulnerable and useless.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Do men really like 'hard to get' women?
Posted: 3/4/2008 3:08:51 AM
Its a turn off to be chased by needy, clingy women who desperately throw themselves on you however its as much of a turn off to have a women play games and act coy in order for us men to chase after them becuz its just as clingy just in a different approach. Its only that the later is more enigmatic and forces us to pursue in order to find out more. With the former you've put all your cards on the table and theres nothing left to interest us. Sleeping with someone doesnt change how someone feels about another it just complicates them.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 3/4/2008 2:52:51 AM
Its great til it turns around and bites you in the ass. Nothing in life comes without strings.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
The things you miss most about being in a relationship...
Posted: 3/4/2008 2:49:58 AM
I miss the intimacy, I miss feeling like I could share anything with someone and vice versa, I especially miss the feeling that theres someone there for me and I wasnt gonna be alone anymore.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Recurring Dreams
Posted: 3/4/2008 2:44:18 AM
Yeah i've had tons of em.

1. In a car either driving or as a passenger unable to control where I was going.
2. Teeth falling out or Mangled.
3. I'm a resistance fighter in a futuristic war.
4. (The scariest i've had)I would see this lady who would stand and stare at me, through a window or from afar. Each time i'd slip into sleep paralysis. Its a state between being awake and going into rem sleep. Your minds conscious but your body is asleep like your in a living coma. It doesnt occur now but as a kid it was the most terrifying experience.
5. Lately been dreaming about my ex. She'd ask for us to get back or act like it never happened.
 SeraphimShadow
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Sex alternatives....
Posted: 3/4/2008 2:26:04 AM
We dont think about sex 24/7 we just want someone who wants it when we want it. Otherwise it would hard to get anything done.
 
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