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 Author Thread: some college
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
some college
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:06:29 PM
If there is a specific field you want to enter, you should look into the requirements for that job.
I work in a field where almost everyone has a degree of some sort. I do not. I often wonder how some of these people got through 8th grade with their writing skills, and often their lack of common sense.
I don't equate intelligence with a degree. A lot of it, in my opinion, is more about your ability to think and apply your knowledge.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
EX BF
Posted: 1/28/2013 4:30:44 PM
I think there are people who believe men and women can be friends, and people who don't believe that.
I keep in contact with several exes because - try not to faint - the basis of my relationships INCLUDE friendship.
However, it's hard to do and takes time, if they just broke up not too long ago I'd wonder if they actually made it to friends, or there were lingering feelings - that takes a while to get past to get to "just friends".
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The job market
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:45:43 PM
It all depends on where you live and what qualifications you have.
My son has been in and out of work the past few years. It's hell on him, he hates not having anything to do, and has done some temporary things he's hated just to have something to do. He was laid off last year, at least he has some unemployment, but trust me he'd rather be working.
With the way things are around here (and I don't know what they are like where you are) I wouldn't advise anyone to quit anything - because even if you have a new job, who's to say it will last?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Men who cant love
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:41:22 PM
I have a friend who reads all those goofy dating books.
She's really confused because they are starting to conflict with each other!
Please OP put down the books and follow your own head and heart.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Help from a woman's point of view:
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:36:05 PM
OP your post says you are very open, and get "no replies"...coming on too interested or two strong in opening emails is creepy in my opinion. When you meet, get to know someone, etc., that's very different.
I'm just guessing from that one little piece of your post, but that might be it.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
post worst ideas for a first date/meetup
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:18:03 PM
Hmmm...
I actually had this happen (many many years ago).
My friend and her boyfriend set up a date with me and his friend.
We went to a drive in.
A drive in that showed porn!
Holy crap, that was terrible and funny, all rolled into one.
I wouldn't suggest it.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why misrepresent oneself??
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:12:05 PM
I think sometimes people see themselves as they were at one point in time. He knew he had gained weight but maybe thought it wasn't as "bad" as it was!
I think a lot of people lie to themselves, or don't see themselves as they truly are, today. I've met several men who were indignant that I was taller than them - I'm 5'7" and post that - so if I meet someone (in flats) who is 2" shorter, and had posted 5'9" - how is that my fault? It's there perception.
And of course there are just people who lie.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Relationship Goals..
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:03:31 PM
Marriage doesn't matter to me, never has actually.
I would like someone to form a life with, to share with, and that for me includes living under the same roof (eventually).
Children are off the table; but to me ones that boomerang home, and also aging parents, can end up part of the package. But to me, if you love someone - well, I guess "love me love my dog" fits as well as anything.
Age doesn't really have much to do with it I don't think.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is this saying really true? I want to know your thoughts!
Posted: 1/27/2013 7:31:06 AM
I wouldn't want to be involved with someone who doesn't care about me the way I care about them.
And I certainly wouldn't play any games, to try to gain "control"...what place does THAT have in a relationship?
I am me, and say what I think and/or feel - why would I want to trick someone into wanting a me who isn't real?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
The One that Got Away
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:34:17 PM
The old high school sweetheart, that's kinda universal isn't it?
There was another one a few years ago, I still get occasional one line emails -how are you? Time and place...but it's nice to know it was real, isn't it?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
gracious response to a 'no' on the second date invitation
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:03:33 PM
I'm pretty low maintenance (and usually out of step with what everyone else thinks) but last minute doesn't bother me - however, that's only if it's ok to say NO without causing all the drama like this post...said lightheartedly OP!
People do make plans, have lives, friends, work and family. So if you ask last minute you can't be surprised to hear someone has other plans.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 8/15/2011 10:29:59 AM
Another voice of dissent here...

To me the term does not connotate one person in the world out there somewhere...to me it means the person who loves you above themselves, as you love them.

Maybe I'm not so jaded and cynical cause the soul mate of the first half of my life died.
I'm also not starry eyed enough to say, he was perfect - cause he surely was not. There were several things about him that drove me nuts...yet I loved him enough that when I saw him - those things didn't matter. Two imperfect people - who are pefect for each other, and pefectly happy in their relationship.

I've met a candidate or two since then - and perhaps because my definition of this term, and of the concept of LOVE has to do with being selfless enough to put them first...the fact that it didn't work out for one reason or another, does not mean it wasn't real.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
In relationship but both parties have other platonic friends of the opposite sex...
Posted: 8/12/2011 8:45:07 AM
None of us come out of a black hole, knowing no one...I mention my male friends, as I would my female friends (so and so had the weirdest thing happen - I was talking to XYZ, they said the funniest thing - I ran into him/her at the grocery store)...whatever. If either of us sees opposite sex friends - that's fine if alone, or if together if it's a "group" thing and/or we are both available. No big deal.

I'm not jealous - I figure, if someone has a friend, they knew them before they knew me - if something was going to happen - it already would have and I wouldn't be in the picture anyway...if it's an ex, then it didn't work for them, that's all.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
The Remaking of Dirty Dancing
Posted: 8/10/2011 12:20:31 PM
I loved that movie...

Would I go see a remake - nah, no way. Of course I go to very few movies, I've gotten to be an old fuddy duddy and find myself watching old movies in black and white.

I think there are just SO MANY remakes, what's the point? I get retelling the tale, if we are talking Romeo & Juliet and then West Side Story or something...I can see how sometimes an "update" makes sense.

Oh, and OP - I'd think Swayze's best role would be in "Ghost", or maybe "Red Dawn" (which are both classics in the sense you are using the word)!
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Riddle me this.....breakup question......
Posted: 8/10/2011 11:11:39 AM
Well, OP, as a woman who has remained friends with those I dated - I do it because (don't faint) - I actually LIKE the person, I enjoy their company, they make me laugh, etc....you know - the way friends do. Not possible all the time, and certainly not if it was a "bad" breakup.

I found Motown's "nice" answer really surprising - cause I can see that being so damn true! And it never crossed my mind.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
PTSD
Posted: 8/10/2011 6:45:27 AM
Well, OP, my boys' dad was a Vietnam vet...I distinctly remember spending one lovely 4th of July under the kitchen table with him, cause he was having some sort of flashback. Of course, he was drunk at the time which didn't help.

That generation of vets wasn't given the treatment options that this one is - please God, let us learn from our mistakes! A lot of his buddies were a mess too...

I don't know what advice to give, except to tell you that this sort of thing is all too common. How long has he been out? My experience about was probably 15 years post-war...

The emotional scars of war can be carried for a lifetime, and many will, I would say try to be more understanding of what he went through. My experience with my ex and his contemporaries would be, that he's not going to share with you what he saw and did that is haunting him - and the less he shares, the more horrific I'm willing to bet it was. Be patient, know that it's not HIM, and not what he TRULY feels, when he lashes out. Support any treatment he can get.

Best of luck to all your family...
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
clyde and bonnie
Posted: 8/9/2011 11:56:32 AM
Sighs, I wasn't saying it's ok to rob a bank cause they are foreclosing - I'm saying (thank you Velma, that's exactly what I meant) that at that time many people looked at the banks as boogeymen, and thought woo hoo, somebody's sticking it to them.

While some MAY hold those same opinions today - again, with the media being what it is, you see the face of the victims, and of their families...and that makes it a lot tougher to see any romance in the whole thing.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Romantic regrets. Do you have any?
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:29:36 AM
No romantic regrets, things play out the way they do, and for a reason...growth can be painful sometimes! I live by my feelings, and I do not play silly games, or have so much pride that I don't give a relationship my all, and honestly state what I want or feel. I think I because of my MO in matters of the heart, I don't tend to have any sense of not getting closure. I do have one past guy, who, if he came back into my life and I were unattached, I'd give it another go. We were good together, but just at different places in our lives.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:12:56 AM
I clean, top to bottom, every weekend. Friday is probably my "dirtiest" day. During the week, after work, I may give the bathroom a once over lightly, or run the vacuum. Dishes are done, in the morning before work, and again in the evening. Is my apartment spotless - nope! Is there "stuff" around - sure is! I wouldn't say cluttered, but lived in...I don't necessarily clean any more than I normally do, if I'm expecting a visitor.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Drunk man let his 8 year old son drive him home while he sleeps in passenger seat.
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:17:24 AM
Wow...just wow...people have NO CLUE.

I've actually seen this very situation unfold in our county. More than once.
Every state has its own definition of child abuse/neglect written in their law. While this would not be considered physical abuse in my county, it would be considered "imminent risk" for physical injury, which does fall under child abuse laws.
The courts will decide the punishment for the father. And - just because HE would not, pretty obviously, be given the care of these children, doesn't mean they would be put in the system. I can't speak for EVERY state - I can speak for what would happen HERE. We'd look for the mother. We'd ask the kids, do you have a grandparent, aunt, etc.? IF we could find no one to take the kids - yes they would be placed in foster care. NOT a group home, not that those young ages! And then we'd still look for family to take the kids! MOST of our kids in "foster care" are in a kinship placement, with family. Children MUST, by law, have a goal of reunification with parents for 18 months. That means we work with the parents to resolve any issues standing in the way of the kids returning home. After 18 months, IF there is no progress, we move to a goal of a permanent placement for kids (adoption, or whatever alternative is best for them). All these steps go before a judge for approval. The parents and other parties are able to be heard at each of these proceedings.

I don't know what goes on in Texas, the medication issue I think IS concerning - not just among this population but for ALL Americans. We are a nation of pill poppers, every quirk is a mental defect that must be fixed! I do know that any child entering care must be seen by a dentist, doctor, mental health expert. Personally, I don't think ANYONE can have a psych consult and come away without meds. I think the percentages are so high among this population because they are ALL seen; most kids are NOT.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
clyde and bonnie
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:57:39 AM
It was a different time then, and these people DID get romanticized because they were stealing from those dirty rotten bankers, who were causing so much grief among the masses (of poor and usually uneducated farmers), it was the great depression and the banks were seen as doing harm to regular folks...I think their picture with that Texas ranger they captured sorta hit the funny bone back then - stick it to the man!

Unless of course you knew one of the people they killed. Which is why I think, because of the media, these "folk heroes" don't really catch on today...we all get to see their victims.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Code words
Posted: 8/8/2011 12:05:31 PM
Well...I have in the past on several occasions whispered in no uncertain terms my plans for the rest of the evening, when we got home...but I agree, it can just take a look sometimes too.

As for the "code word"...I am taking the 5th. LOL.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
How quickly could you enter into a committed relationship.....??
Posted: 8/8/2011 12:00:58 PM
Totally agree with abelian on the whole exclusive/commitment thing.

Every relationship, long or short, that I didn't listen to that little voice that said "this could be it" or "no way" - was a mistake. I either didn't let myself be me, and dive in - or I tried to do the whole, give it time thing - which has NEVER worked for me.

It's either there, or it's not. If it is - I go for it.

I'm not going to be on my deathbed thinking - if only I'd have...

OP - don't let them bust on you about your "ladies I'd marry" list - I've got a couple of guys that (since I'm unattached) I'd do the same, should they show up and ask.

Or at least run away for a weekend in Vegas...

 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Would you date a man/woman who doesnt have money?
Posted: 8/8/2011 8:12:15 AM
I couldn't give a crap about money. I live a pretty simple life, and that's fine. I don't think that what most people consider "necessitites" are in fact necessary. If someone has any legal income - I'm fine with that.

OH - and I ask about people's jobs...because we all spend so much time at work, I think it's important to ask about...AND because job titles can be confusing. I'd like to have a clue how someone spends their waking hours, whether they like it or not, what drew them to it...NOT about money at all.

I'd like to be HAPPY in the future - NOT wealthy. The person is what makes you happy, a good relationship...no amount of money can buy that.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is dating a widower/widow that scary?
Posted: 8/2/2011 12:20:01 PM
Well, OP, been there done that...

For myself, I think it's a reminder to people that death is there, coming for us all in the end - especially those of us who lost our other half at younger ages. I think some people will fear that the dearly departed will be enshrined in the heart, and in the home, and in the everyday conversations.

I've been with guys who will listen and understand that my loss, getting through it, and coming out the other side with the capability for joy, for living, stronger in having had such dark times.

UncleZeus you are wrong. There does NOT have to be a comparison, not in the way you mean. Love is love - I loved Mike for certain things, and I have loved other men since for others. Someone asked me once, "am I like him"? Yes and no...yes, in that you are handsome (to me), you make me laugh, you think of me, and do little things - no in that you don't open your heart the way he did, you aren't so spontaneous (and in some ways reckless), etc. The the "living" guy is NOT a second choice - he's the first choice in the second half of the widow's life.

Very different indeed.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
unsaved and atheist
Posted: 8/2/2011 11:46:21 AM
^^^^^You go girl!

Tall, really - aren't the atheists always saying that morality and religion aren't the same thing? They are all over the "God" threads that I've seen...are you suggesting the only reason a woman wouldn't give it up right and left is because of the threat of eternal hellfire?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Need a woman's opinion
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:49:03 AM
OP - define "dating" - I think that makes a huge difference in what you were "owed" in terms of a "break up".

I wouldn't see anything wrong with this IF YOU HAVEN'T MET. However, if she "chose" someone else after meeting you, him and/or 17 other guys - that totally lacks all class, and is very egocentric.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why do I think he'll be back?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:49:52 AM
Well OP - maybe HE was waiting for the EX to come back and you were to fill the time. Maybe he said he was "starting to have feelings" - in case she runs off again.

Maybe you should value yourself more than that.

Have I ever had a feeling someone who was gone from my life may come back? Yes, I have.

But they sure didn't leave me for another woman. Or else I wouldn't care if they DID.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
'Stayover relationships' -- Would they work for over 45s?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:47:30 AM
I would HATE a relationship like.

I don't see any point in finding someone you want to be with, unless you actually want to BE with them.

I don't see how you can say you LOVE someone, or are committed to them, if you are worried about things and money.

I personally hope that maybe, just MAYBE, I'll be lucky enough to have lightening strike twice. I can't wait to wake up to someone again, to have a partner in everything...to cook dinner for at night, to spend rainy Sundays in bed with, reading the paper and eating pancakes...to wait for by the window.

To each their own I guess - apparently I'm awfully abnormal (or maybe just not jaded?)
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Men Behaving Badly ... Time Magazine, May 30, 2011
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:09:04 AM
Perhaps women saw met getting "caught" and decided not to join in on the fun?

Women weren't (for the most part) a major segment of policital figures until recently. Perhaps that also accounts for part of it.

I think that the historical idea of a man in power was he had the "little woman" at home; and other women to have fun with. A longstanding, aristocratic view. Perhaps men of "power" felt entitled to this lifestyle, even as the times changed and it became something no longer unspoken, assumed and forgiven.

Remember, as little as 50 years ago JFK was having all kinds of affairs, that were said to be "common knowledge" in the press - but the press didn't print things like that.

As for Jefferson, DNA testing was done on descendants of Sally Hemmings and on descendants of his; it is considered "inconclusive" although there WAS a match, as there were two male relatives at Monticello in their day, who could have been the father of Sally's children. Of course - that wouldn't explain the child she conceived in Paris! So physical evidence, iffy...but the archival evidence seems to point to him.
In his will he freed 5 slaves - all members of the Hemmings family.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
movie ratings...what do you think?
Posted: 8/1/2011 6:56:27 AM
I'm sitting here trying desperately to remember the last time I went to the movies...

At any rate! A lot of movies are the same I think anymore...and what's worse is how there are sequels by the score, and remakes of old crap that wasn't so great the first time around.

Has everything been done to death?

I'll stick with my documentaries and history on PBS, and re-runs of All in the Family.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
It is not ideal to kill people to change an idea
Posted: 8/1/2011 6:53:59 AM
I don't think incidents like those in Norway are necessarily "killing people to change an idea", I think they are more trying to bring attention to an idea - even if the actor did intend to ignite a Manson-esque race war.

I think these "grand gestures" don't ever obliterate ideas, and I don't think they were meant to, I think they are used to bring attention to other ideas - and to try to provide "inspiration" if you will.

All of it sickens me, personally. I think underneath it all, the religious, political, race, mumbo jumbo - we are all just people. Live and let live...

Oh well, a girl can dream, right?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
contacting someone who has contacted you
Posted: 8/1/2011 6:46:36 AM
Take a good look at that feature - unless you click to GO to someone's profile, it's just your pic and very little else. He probably didn't realize that you "violated" his distance guidelines!
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Does online accessibility cause more insecurity in relationships?
Posted: 7/29/2011 11:14:47 AM
Insecure people are made MUCH worse in this brave new online world.
I'm not on ANYTHING, except a few dating sites (and this is the only one I come on regularly). I think if you are looking for something - you will find it.

I also think a lot of this paranoia comes from meeting one man/woman who is a (cheater/liar/married/player/golddigger , fill in the blank)...and therefore everyone they meet afterwards is highly suspect of being the same. People hold the entire opposite sex for what one member did to them.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Texting Not Calling
Posted: 7/29/2011 10:48:54 AM
I don't have a cell phone (I'll pass the smelling salts around now)...so it's not an issue for me.

I am very baffled by the idea that everyone should be instantly available to everyone else, night or day, 365 days a year. I refuse to live like that.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
why pretend to want more then lead someone on and hurt them?
Posted: 7/29/2011 10:30:58 AM
OP - having sex with someone MEANS NOTHING. Own your decision! You had a (hopefully) nice encounter with someone you liked. You WANTED to have sex with him, right? Why? Because in your mind that "cemented" the possibility of something?
THAT is your problem, not his.

How did he "use" you, anymore than you "used" him for sex?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Office Gifts
Posted: 7/29/2011 6:35:56 AM
I work in a VERY large office (around 170 people, most here in the main office, about 20 each in two satellite offices). There is always someone having a child, getting married, leaving or retiring - and we won't even talk about birthdays.

Generally an email is sent out by someone either close to or who works closely with the person; if you want in, you go contribute and sign the card. If not - oh well. Just don't show up when the cake comes out though!

I keep out of it, probably 90% of the time - if it's someone I work closely with, or someone I'm friendly with, that's a different story.

At Christmas, I present a small gift bag to the 4 women I supervise, NOTHING expensive, usually some homemade cookies, some Christmassy item (a mug or candle or ornament), some candy/snacks. Other people also get cookies (my bosses, the director and other administrators, the girls I eat lunch with, our security guard).

I think it's a nice gesture to have something at work - as long as you don't feel you have a gun to your head!
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
bald guys
Posted: 7/28/2011 12:03:12 PM
Can anyone say - Patrick Stewart? Bald AND a sexy accent...sigh...

Bald, balding, thinning hair, none of it has or does impact how attractive I find someone...but I will say I know women who it would impact!
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Homeless woman slams infant against truck.
Posted: 7/28/2011 11:29:29 AM
Motown is right on...mental illness (especially combined with drug abuse) makes for some scary situations. A lot of the homeless have mental health issues, and a lot of them go untreated. Warehousing them went out of favor a long time ago, but putting them out on the streets certainly isn't any better, to my way of thinking. I will say, even with insurance, it's very hard to get the treatment someone needs, or the length of treatment someone is told they need.

This stuff happens all the time, unfortunately. At least in this instance it wasn't the child's mother. When it is a parent, it's just a horrible situation...
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Take your time or crash and burn
Posted: 7/28/2011 11:19:56 AM
Well, OP, every real and meaningful relationship I've been in, was just there, from the start. The problem is, I believe IF you were with the RIGHT woman - you wouldn't feel the way you do. I believe a lot of people say "I'd never"...until they meet someone who inspires them to!

Early on in my internet dating life, I decided to accept the common wisdom that you can't possibly tell from one meet/date whether or not there is anything there. What did THAT lead to? PLENTY of guys looking at me like they hit the jackpot, while I was thinking - how do I get out of this without hurting this perfectly nice guy's feelings?
They wanted to jump - I knew I wasn't going to.

Jumping in (crash and burn? really?) only has a chance, I believe, if you BOTH jump together. If one is pushing the other - there's no way.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Do I have the right to be angry about this?
Posted: 7/27/2011 8:30:39 AM
OP - like another post said, I've got email buddies I've made through the forums...so I'd be on here even if I'm attached, for that reason and the forums.

I'm going to assume that everything you posts so far is true (what you said, and what you said that she said).

You state you aren't exclusive, and will discuss what to do if either gets physical with someone else. So in other words - anything goes unless a gun is put to one of your heads. Nice...that'd really knock my socks off.

She said she wasn't on the site emailing and guess what - she WASN'T from what you further posted. She got an email and curiosity got the best of her - she clicked on read more and ended up on the site. NOT the same as looking for someone else while with you, and not the same as being involved in some ongoing exchange.

It seems to me that if YOU wanted to be exclusive, the whole "unless something physical happens with someone else" thing wouldn't be around. Your fault? Or hers? Or both?

I think THIS is why internet dating doesn't work a lot of the time - cause people are so busy spying on each other and reading more into what they think they "know". There's no trust, and there's no (even tentative) commitment.

And BTW - FEELINGS are never right or wrong. Be honest - you aren't angry or irate - your feeling are HURT.

Why not be honest with her and tell her that? And if you want the two of you to give it a sincere try - why not tell her it's just us and no one else?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
can a guy be too skinny??
Posted: 7/22/2011 8:32:07 AM
Well, OP, I tend to like a guy who's a little on the bigger side, BUT if I'm attracted to his personality, that changes. I have met a couple of guys who were so thin it was alarming (as in bony)...that I found to be highly unattractive.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Key Question
Posted: 7/20/2011 10:43:43 AM
I give the key when it is easier for him to have one - such as, he may be getting to my place before I get home, etc.

I'm actually a little shocked..."huge sign of trust to turn over the key" posts abound.
That' s funny. You trust someone enough to sleep with them, but you are worried they may steal your TV? Sooo...ahhhh...why aren't you worried they will cut your throat while you are asleep then???

As for asking for the keys back, I've just had them handed to me. I gave them back again once and told that person - keep them, for when you feel alone, knowing that there's a door that's always open to you (one of those romances that end up a friendship that gets flamed on these forums).

Maybe it's me, but I just don't get it.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Social drinking
Posted: 7/20/2011 5:59:50 AM
OP I too grew up in a home with an alcoholic, so I get where you are coming from.

I think that drinking is too demonized, sometimes; and I also think that drinking is one of the great social evils in certain circumstances.

Get the picture? It varies from person to person. And it varies according to who is looking at the situation.

When I started online, I automatically passed over any profile that had "daily" marked under drinking - until I realized that my brother is a "daily" guy. He comes home from work and has 1 beer every night. He's the salt of the earth, a wonderful man, and I'd be lucky to find someone like him...kinda put a different spin on "daily" for me.

As for me, I don't keep any alcohol in the house on a regular basis. I don't like wine, so the "wine with dinner" things isn't me. I don't always drink in social situations, because sometimes, I just don't feel like it. A couple of times a year in Atlantic City with a bunch of my female relatives - I usually end up pretty tipsy. We have a blast.

To me, the idea of being an alcoholic is when it effects your life in a negative way - your job, your reasoning, your relationships, your health or finances.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Parents losing custody over obese kids?
Posted: 7/18/2011 7:56:11 AM
Kids do get taken away for failure to thrive as infants, and they do get taken away for not having any food in the home - AND having a doctor/school nurse state they are severely underweight; on the other hand, the laws in this state allow them to feed their kids whatever they want. They are getting ice cream for breakfast and McD's for dinner every day? Not a child welfare issue.

I think at some point if a child had developed a disease that was not be treated or the child was not being cared for properly, that could be called in under medical neglect.

I'm not a skinny minnie, and guess what? Both my boys are "normal". They ate cookies - but they also ate salad. I didn't program their days, nor did I lock them in the house cause I was too lazy to supervise them - they went out and played (almost unheard of anymore). They swam regularly, had basketball, etc.

I wonder who everything thinks is going to PAY for this foster care?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/6/2011 10:45:07 AM
I was going to post that too, men in their 40s and 50s with profiles about NOW they are ready to start a family.

OP I don't think a man without kids is necessarily some sort of red flag. I'll use my brother as an example...his first wife had a young daughter, and HER first husband didn't want any more kids so she had her tubes tied. She married my brother and that was it for kids...however, my two sons and my sister's daughter spent quite a bit of time with "Uncle Bob" (said in hushed tones of utter adoration). He would have been a WONDERFUL father, but by the time he married a second time, the ship had pretty much sailed on that (although his new wife gave it a try).

Because a man hasn't fathered a child, doesn't mean he hates kids, and doesn't want any part of them.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What are your favorite things that you would not want to live without?
Posted: 7/6/2011 10:29:12 AM
This post took quite a turn...I like the post that said "the ability to laugh". Things? Coffee, definitely I'm on board with that...family and holidays, that too....my fleece sheets in winter!

Igor's post about what would make someone pull the plug took me to another place, cause I've been there. I stood at my fiancee's death bed 7 years ago, and said "I can't live without you". I didn't want to...grief does that...you wonder why you would even want to go on living. But the human spirit is stronger than that. Over time you heal, and you find other things to bring you joy, other things to get up in the morning for. And one day - I found myself laughing again.

There are a lot of things I'd not want to live without, and I pray that I don't have to - but we learn to adapt to what we have, and actually enjoy life again.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 113 (view)
 
It's the end of the world as we know it...REM
Posted: 7/6/2011 8:46:24 AM
I heard this morning on the news that Camping has been moved to a nursing home...I wonder if he'll still be around on Oct 21 to see the end of the world! Or explain WHY it doesn't happen...
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
She brings up politics in conversation, how to avoid/counter?
Posted: 7/6/2011 8:23:09 AM
I don't think there's any taboo subject, I mean if someone's point of view is too liberal or conservative on an issue - and you think that makes them either intolerant or a communist or something - what's the point? I'll discuss religion, sex, politics, the weather, whatever the conversation turns to. I agree that some things should come up before the date - I have avoided a few white supremacists that way, thank heavens!
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Casey Anthony found not guilty
Posted: 7/6/2011 5:55:17 AM
Hey Dayna, I think your post reflects the thinking around my office, to an extent. I've been saying for decades, if you want to get away with murder, or at least with a light sentence, kill a child. Makes sure it's your OWN child, and the younger the better. We've been seeing that turn around (a little) of late; I think maybe we are taking the verdict a little personally...probably cause we're sick of seeing people get away with the most horrible crimes. I thought perhaps because of what this office does, the staff was a little out of step with the general public's reaction, but that doesn't seem to be the case from what I've seen on the news.
 
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