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 Author Thread: OK ladies help me out....what do I need to change?
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
OK ladies help me out....what do I need to change?
Posted: 4/18/2010 12:45:44 PM
Well, lets take a run at my profile. Let me know what you would crop or add. I probably ramble to much or tell to much about me. I am open to constructive criticism.

Thanks and go easy! Its tough to reinvent yourself again at this age.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 101 (view)
 
When they say Self Employed what does it really mean
Posted: 12/20/2008 1:51:06 AM
Makes me wonder if your dating the person or their job?...If they are not asking for money what does it matter?
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 97 (view)
 
ADD UP YOUR FINE!!
Posted: 12/20/2008 1:47:03 AM
Can I pre-pay for some items? LOL
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Is it being cautious or creepy to Google a potential date?
Posted: 12/20/2008 1:37:54 AM
Guess I would be kind of surprised you got more than a first name on a potential date. I think if you have reason to think something is off about a person then go ahead and see what comes up. But if your over at peoplesearch or intelius you might as well start a second career as a skip tracer (oh wait I used to do that...LOL). Worst problem is the info is incorrect and you start making assumptions on bad info. Again I think if things that are said or something doesn't seem to make sense I would tend to ask first then maybe follow up with some poking around. A better way to do it, is to be together and "just for fun" enter both your name and search together and see what you both find. Takes the whole sneaky thing out of the picture.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Body Issues?
Posted: 12/20/2008 1:17:51 AM
Its not how you look, it how you look to yourself. If all you want to do is be covered up and not let the "real" you come out then those are body image issues. What you have talked about is not that he left you because of how you look, he left because you don't like how you look. I am a big man, if your OK with me being a big boy well then I am OK with it. I may not be really happy and you won't find me running around outside naked, but in the house, if you love me and accept me well then you get to see ALL of me!! So let those men see all of you and let them enjoy all of you.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Handjob Lover
Posted: 12/6/2008 11:54:30 PM
I think there is a true art to a lady that is willing to learn how to do it well. To anyone that thinks its really just simple jerking it up and down is ...well...confused...lol... Its really like any other form of sex, there is an art to it and done correctly can be a lot of fun. I happen to love hand jobs and mutual masturbation, just happen to be my two things that I really enjoy. Something about spending a lot of time playing and just playing with each other and stroking that makes it so great. You can relax and enjoy the pleasure. Plus add in a little prostrate massage and wow what a time!
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Does good looks triumph every time?
Posted: 11/20/2008 4:07:16 AM
Oh heck yes, the average person who can't even get a date with a "10" doesn't even have a clue. People that are that attractive both men and women are placed above everyone else by society. Wealthy men and women will date and take care of very beautiful people since they can afford them. To them its another possession and status symbol. To the person that is a "10" they often don't even know anything but what life is like for the rest of us since they have been gifted with beautiful looks and body. They get most of what they want paid for them. It all goes to crap later in life when the looks fade, but early on and if they marry right they are set.

Hang out a bit in South Florida and you will see what being a real "10" gets you.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 3:38:00 AM
Oh come on people, so she admits to him that this happened while she was in Vegas, we don't get all the little details that really seem to matter to everyone, does she do it a lot, does she do it often, was it the first time, was she drunk? on and on....

I mean if you dated a lady and she admited that in the last week she had sex with 4 men some would be a little taken back, if you dated a lady and she said she had sex with 4 men in the last month, most men would be thinking am I going to get lucky tonight?

But you meet a lady who says, I had sex with 4 men at once while in Vegas and your freaking out...why? Shes honest, she confided in you. OK so maybe she likes the group thing and was seeing how you respond, maybe she was fishing for shock value to see if your anal.

But I love how people make comments about did she know them, etc, I don't know a man around who if he had a chance with three or four women at once that would pass on playing around with them. No one is saying that protection wasn't used and that she picked up 4 guys off the street that are homeless, bisexual IV drug users...LOL Besides thats really not the point.

There are plenty of men and women on this site that have had sober and drunk sex with more men than they want to admit and I am sure out of all those people there are more than a few they wish they never had sex with.

But really if you started a thread that said, "oops I had sex with a man I didn't know on the first date" no one would really be bashing anyone at all, why? Well most of us at some point have done that, and some have done it often....but you change the thread too "I had sex with 4 men at once one night" and the morality police show up to arrest you...what a bunch of crap. At what point do you get to be an adult and do what makes you happy if your single and it doesn't hurt anyone else?

Tell you what, I would rather date someone thats is open to talk to me and that has done that and then decided if its something they want to do again or not than someone who has it on a list of things to in life or lies about it.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 148 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 11/19/2008 5:06:00 AM
And on an interesting side note, I was watching Art Mann the other night when he talked with a lady in her late 20's or early 30's from Australia who commented that the girls down under are done with this "silly American fad" of shaving off their pubic hair that those Americans seem to think is so necessary (as she pulls down her pants to show off a hairy blond bush)...LOL. She went on to say that she is glad the fad is over in Australia and she and her friends are happy to be back to being natural women again.

Don't flame me, I am only talking about what I saw on TV....LOL
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 11/19/2008 4:50:31 AM
I said...
So why don't you shave your head then? I mean I love smelling a woman's soft hair, love running my fingers through it, the smell of her shampoo the feel of it all over me...so why is so hard to think I can't feel the same way about her bush?


She replied...
I don't know about you buddy, but I don't happen to urinate out of the top of my scalp. Honestly, I don't care how YOU feel about a woman's 'bush'. Really, I don't.
All that matters to me, and all that should matter to anyone, is how THEY feel about it and do what makes THEM comfortable. No one should be doing anything to their own bodies to please someone else....ever.


If you think for one minute you don't or anyone else for that matter doesn't and that no one does anything to their own bodies to please someone else.... you are terribly mistaken, not only that you are full of crap. Oh wait...no... I am wrong, your the most selfish, self centered person on the face of the earth and yes you do it all for you. Your right you don't give a crap what anyone else thinks at all... and I doubt anyone here cares what you think. But I bet the next time your SO has hair growing out of his ears you wont hesitate for a minute to pluck them, or tell him his nose hair is sticking out and to trim it, and I bet you have no problem when a guy with sweaty nuts after working hard all day wants to plop them in your mouth, your not going to tell him to get in that shower first now are you??? Oh, no, we don't dare tell anyone else what to do with their own bodies. ppppfffttttt.... Oh and no you may not urinate out the top of your scalp, but apparently you manage to urinate all over your pubic mound, you need to work on your aim.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How Can You Tell If A Man Is Hitting On You?
Posted: 11/15/2008 12:13:53 PM
Does saying "nice rack" count? lmao...j/k
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
When should a woman tell her potential lover of her fetish?
Posted: 11/14/2008 8:33:11 PM
Well I have to agree that the words; kinky, fetish etc. are all very fun words to throw out but really have little meaning unless your going to put something behind then as an example of what they mean to YOU. In general most people will say; so long as there are no children, animals and both parties agree its all good. Well, there is a whole lot that that covers and there is a whole lot that most wont do when really pressed for examples. Once you veer off the road into true fetishes and what is truly kinky these become sexual needs and gratification for a select few. As an example just taking what would appear to a harmless foot fetish can be really very boring for the other party if its not doing anything for them. Often times people need to find like minded people to fully enjoy the fetish or kink they have.

I personally from another site met a lady who hinted that she had some kinky things she liked to do. I didn't push the question early but a couple conversations later I finally felt the time was right to ask. Turns out she was into needle play, and being stuck with a LOT of needles. I did some research on this and found it really seamed pretty boring to me. I was not into it and the idea of all the protection and preparation to stick her with a 100 needles didn't do much to turn me on. But the pain is what turned her on. So I really felt as nice as she was we were just not going to be compatible in this area. Glad I found out early and not later. Another lady, when we talked (and for some reason women love to talk to me) we were joking around about the animal farm not to far from me in Seattle that made the news for the guy who got killed by a huge horse in Enumclaw (google it if you like). Its a local joke and I can get people laughing pretty hard telling a bit of the story. But she originally stated she had no interests and it was "gross". Well after joking she says, you know I would like to see that some time even in a movie, I wonder if it really does happen (well we all know it really happens). But then she kept bring up if I knew how to find those kinds of movies on the internet. Turns out she had a big fetish with seeing horses erect and it got her all worked up. She never felt she could tell anyone but she told me (like I care, I am not going down to the animal farm) but I did joke that a trip to the zoo would be fun...LOL.

So its all about what works with or for you and what the other person can reveal and not worry about being judged. The more off the mainstream that gets you going the smaller number of people you have that like it also. But then again if you can find someone what shares your same interest in kinks or fetishes and life in general, go for it, hell its hard enough to get one out of the two!
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 330 (view)
 
Men over 45 and facial hair
Posted: 11/14/2008 1:33:27 AM
I decided to go back to a beard, easy to make a goatee again (LOL) but I like the lumber jack look, I just see so many men with goatee's now I want to be different again. So for me its the beard and short hair and both are the same length. Look all cute n fuzzy now....hehehe. Guess I need to get an updated picture on profile.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
sex or no sex
Posted: 11/10/2008 6:17:03 PM
And Mrs. I am Still Divorced On My Profile....what is the question? Based on your subject line....the answer is No Sex....

Now lets see, your lucky to get it once a month, but your recently married...hmmm, so you have only had sex how many times so far? And you mention he has thyroid problems but YOU don't really think it affects his weiner... and what does the Dr. think? And of course heaven forbid again if a man masturbates this somehow is the problem.

Now I just can't help but wonder "why you try to talk to him about this" just how that conversation goes....LOL Most men and women don't realize that when they try to talk these types of issues they are not really talking about the problem but how the problem affects them or in your case doesn't affect you (no sex). It quickly becomes a finger pointing session or guilt trip and neither one of those resolves anything.

You clearly have one of two things... a genuine medical problem that needs to be addressed with his thyroid or you two have a communication problem already and need counseling.

Ahh, I should have read her other posts, you need some help, after reading the other crap go get some help and an attorney... Not to mention it was 10/20 when you made your other posts and you still can't update your profile since you got married in June? Your a game player and like DRAMA....
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 11/10/2008 5:44:34 PM
The reason why many men like shaved is simple - we are VERY visual. And you can see more if the woman is shaved.


Exactly what more can you see? Until it gets spread open your not seeing a whole lot but pubic bone...LOL I can pass on looking at a bare mounds pubis....

Hell, I get a lot more excited looking at bush and going treasure hunting than some shaved cootie giving me a wink looking like its been stripped of all its natural being.

Its like those people that own those hairless cats....I don't care how you put it, it just seems to odd. It is really just preference thats all, nothing to be ashamed of, I am not, I am more than happy to admit I like bush. Just like I like boobs, and we all have things we don't like etc.

I am more than happy if my date pulls down her pants and shows off a beaver pelt, its like an exploration into the bush (pun intended) to get to the center and the tunnel of love.... And yes Dorthy, real men eat hairy p*ssy. The ones that haven't figured out how to do it without getting hair in their mouths really need a new manual....LOL

No, seriously, for every woman that loves to run her fingers through a guys chest hair knows what I mean when I say, there are those of us men that love to play with a hairy bush...thats all...no harm done
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 135 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:51:41 AM

I am not one of the women that shave because I believe there is less odor that way...and in no way was I referring to that when I threw in the hyothetical situation of a woman's doctor telling her she should shave to get less infections (BTW.....doctors have told women this)....


ahhhh, either early on in this thread or another one on the same topic several ladies claimed that their OB/GYN told them to shave. Some heated discussion broke out over this and that a Dr. would tell them to shave it all off.

So I actually took it upon myself...LOL...to do some googling on the subject of public hair and doctor (GYN's) recommendations back on those posts. To my surprise there were a couple websites that have forums from GYN's that talked about this very thing.

Here is what was said in general. Any OB/GYN or any Dr. that tells a woman she 'needs' to shave, the woman should get another Dr. The Dr. went on to point out that pubic hair is and was put in place to serve a purpose, now as much as we don't really need it any longer for that reason it does no harm to leave it alone. He went on to tell this lady in her question, that the act of shaving actually increases the risk for infection, irritation, ingrown hairs and skin rashes. He stated this area of the skin is not tough enough to be shaved without irritation and ingrown hair is very common. He did not recommend shaving around the labium minora and majora as this area is very sensitive and cuts here can become infected very easily from normal external bacteria. He stated that if she wished trimming had no ill effect and would serve her better than shaving and was purely cosmetic. He also stated that naturally hairy women have no statistical increase in any types of infections as a result of leaving it natural. And that shaving causes more minor problems than not shaving. Regular bathing and check-ups where more beneficial than doing anything else. In addition to remembering what direction to wipe.

I am not trying to start an argument, I am only going over what I had looked up since one lady was very adamant she was told to shave it all off by her Dr.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 321 (view)
 
Men over 45 and facial hair
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:38:29 PM
You just tell me what you like on me, beard, goatee, stach...I am easy....I look like a baby with no hair...but other than that...I am easy!
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:35:43 PM
I swear trying to date at this age (never mind any sex) is like banging your head against the wall. So many quirks, odd things and just stuff in general that you never had to deal with... Really rather get back to, you like me, I like you, can I get to second base...LOL... I really don't want to be single from this point forward....
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 131 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:25:05 PM
It's hardly a fad or trend to want to be clean.


So why don't you shave your head then? I mean I love smelling a woman's soft hair, love running my fingers through it, the smell of her shampoo the feel of it all over me...so why is so hard to think I can't feel the same way about her bush?

I am just so lost as to this almost phobic response that public hair is unclean, it really no more dirty and even less so that your hair on your head after you plaster it will jell and hair spray and then stand outside in traffic and pick up all the particulate matter in the air. At least your bush isn't full of jell, hydrocarbons and smoke smell....LMAO!
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Why Can't he cum
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:04:46 AM
Ya know its really sad to see women chime in and suggest that to much masturbation is the reason a male cannot orgasm during intercourse. What a load of crap and what is worse, you spread this misnomer knowing full well there are many reasons. It is no different than some guy getting on here and asking, why can't my g/f orgasm in the missionary position and then having a bunch of men claim its from the size of your dildo that you use to often that is the problem.

Not that I really want this on my profile...LOL....but I have always had a tough time achieving orgasm during intercourse. I always liked a lot of foreplay before intercourse and often that would do it for me to orgasm during. The thing that always works for me is a hand job or other stimulation. Its not uncommon for men to have different things that "turn them on" more than others, or the sensation maybe is a lot different. Doesn't mean he is broken, or anything is wrong, its no different than a woman who can orgasm in a certain position or only from oral. If the male is bored or his partner is not exciting him this can also cause the problem (she is lifeless like a dead fish).

When women can only orgasm from one type of sexual activity no one claims they masturbate too much or have something wrong with them. So why the assumption with men?
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 11/6/2008 7:49:50 PM
Geez, what a bunch of crap from people and those that think they reside on a moral high ground.

First, I don't think its right to judge what happens between two consenting adults. Its never been talked about in the previous posts about how long you talked on the phone, IM'd, emailed etc. By the time you got to that first date you may have logged many hours in with that person. So it might be like already going on many dates. Second, there is nothing that says that either person if they were to choose to engage in sex would do that same thing with someone else either. Just because I met one lady and we were into each other and it got sexual on the first meeting in no way means that I or her would do that with someone else. Lastly is also depends on what "sex" we are talking about. Some feeling up, some stroking, some playing around is a lot different than humping someone in the back seat of your car at age 45+. I have things I will not do until I know someone well enough. And I would expect most ladies are the same. Are some more willing to do something more than I am, yes, there are but there are some that will do a lot less. Its an individual thing. I don't view a lady any less that is sexual in nature when I first meet her. Mostly because this was brought up before we went out and it was talked about. Common sense, using reasonable precautions, and not picking up people that are in high risk groups puts any risk much lower. I honestly would be more afraid (and I am since I had it) to get MRSA from anything more than an STD. Its almost to the point now that an STD is second in concern to MRSA or a skin eating bacteria.

I play poker semi-pro and I handle a lot of cards and chips, and I will tell you I worry more about getting something from those cards and chips (I am almost sure thats how I got MRSA the first time) than I would be from sticking my finger in some non-high risk group female...LOL

Just, relax, be careful, use common sense and be a human and enjoy life and what others have to offer. If someone likes me and wants to play around a bit, why would you say no? Life is to short to not have some fun with nice people. Its really not all that much more in some cases than getting a massage with a happy ending
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
What Is Your Favorite Way to Have Sex And Why?
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:43:49 PM
Completely covered in Extra Virgin Olive Oil and a fresh loaf of French bread? Gee, after reading what other people said..I feel so odd....
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Can't orgasim from oral
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:37:36 PM
I need to think of posts like this so some "nice" lady will offer to come over and show how its done correctly or at least help to try to overcome my problem...
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Best position for vaginal orgasm ?
Posted: 11/6/2008 3:40:48 AM
The one that involves the use of your Amex card while shes shopping online....
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Using Subliminal Message in Music To Get Her In Bed
Posted: 11/6/2008 3:37:56 AM
Ya, I agree I would be more worried it would be me who is getting the message and wanting to do all the stuff it suggests. Lovely first date....oh baby I need my a** f**ked .....LOLOLOLOL... I mean the messages can't be singled out to just one sex. And that alone goes to show how stupid men are if they really think they can buy a CD that will put a woman in the mood with subliminal messages and you wont hear them also. Or is she not going to notice your having sex with her with ear plugs in or headphones on....LOL

This reminds me of my teenage years and all that Spanish Fly stuff. Heard all the stories of girls who took it and got so turned on they just had to hop on top of your 5 speed shifter in your car and do it to it.....OMG...there were the good old teenage years...LMAO
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 127 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 11/3/2008 11:41:37 PM
Hey I don't understand why women have to look at it like its controlling, trying to tell her what to do etc. Its a PREFERENCE for some of us men. Its not really different than liking blonde's over brunets, or big other thin, tall over short. But the one part that does make this different is that it is changeable if the lady chooses. Many ladies I talk to tend to do what the man they are seriously dating prefers. Geez, is it that much more different than doing anything that might turn your partner on? Not really. You women really need to stop making this an issue about control. I mean its really simple. Say I liked to date women with long hair and I meet this lady and she has lovely long hair and look gorgeous. But then shortly after she shaves her head bald. Same person, but much different appearance. One that I don't find attractive...so now what? She says, its my head I will do as I please...yes it is, doesn't mean I want to date you anymore I am not attracted to you now.

OK maybe here is another example this is a big roll reversal. I am big hairy guy, women that date me know I have a really hairy chest. The women that date me mostly comment on it and how they love it. But I did have one lady ask me if I would shave it off for her since she didn't like hairy men. I flat out said no and never saw her again. I am not going to shave my chest for anyone. I come hairy and this is what you get. Now if you want to trim a bit I don't care but its not all comming off. Its like buying a hairy teddy bear and then shaving all the hair off, what was the point in buying a bear? Some women love men with hairy chests, why, if you asks them they often say, is masculine.....yes read my lips, they say is masculine looking... so the next time a guy doesn't want to date a lady without hair below and 'he' feels it makes her look like a young girl, its not a turn on....just remember its a preference and its just like any other preference any of us have about anything!! No more so than not wanting to date a man with a tiny weenie... its happens all the time its all comes back to the same differnce...preference. Actually a much better and closer example is facial hair on men. Some ladies love beards, goatee's etc. other like it clean shaved. In my case, I would be up for what my partner likes but I prefer a goatee or beard since it does hurt my face to shave all the time. So just think of a mans facial hair like your bush and how your preference or lack of it matters...LMAO!

 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 124 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 11/2/2008 11:19:02 PM
I vote for more Bush on November 4th! And I don't mean GW....LOL
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 11:16:20 PM
Not to get off topic, but its not that I have a problem with women dating other men, no one is serious yet. Its just when we talk before I meet them you always tend to get into those question like so do you date much? When are you free to go on dates? Things like that. When your told, no, I don't date much at all in fact its been months since I went on a date and I have lots of free time after work and on the weekends...And you go on a couple dates, she says she really likes you and can't wait to do more and then a short time later your put on a waiting list....thats one of my issues. If I had known she was going to become a serial dater I would look at it different or maybe even passed. The other issue is I would prefer to not have her tell me I will call and we can go out soon if she is not really interested. Second, I don't really want to listen to her talk about her other "dates" and what they did or how busy she is. I don't think any male is up for that.

Not that it matters, but if you don't want games then don't play them. If she calls and wants to go out on a date, ut oh, what if I am busy? Guess she just moves down the Rolodex to the next victim.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:29:44 PM
I was rather shocked the other day. I met a really nice lady, we went out twice had a lot in common only live like a mile a part. Chatted with many times by IM or phone. So I asked when she wanted to go out again. She said, well I have the girls night on Friday and then on Saturday I am meeting this man. Oh, OK well drop me a line since we live so close we can just do dinner... A week goes by. Talk with her again, tells me she just been so busy. Another week and this time she tells me she is all "booked" up with dates, but assures me that she really wants to go out with me again... I said well if your not to busy, she goes on to explain that she just doesn't understand it, shes never been asked out so much! Ahhhh...ok, well good luck. But wait, no she really wants to go out with me again, don't worry she says, I will call you soon and make a date!! Oh boy! I can't wait....NOT. Hmmmm, no think I will pass.

I mean I have dates that didn't go well, no chemistry etc. But this seemed well and she keeps trying to string me along. Well in talking with her I can tell she has developed this "shopping" type of attitude that she didn't have a couple months ago. I think people really do develop this type of attitude since its like a never ending line of people that get thrown at you. On-line dating can turn you into a serial dater if you let it.

The real question is, how do you know if you are a serial dater and how to avoid it?
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Divorce...ticket to freedom land of happiness?
Posted: 11/1/2008 11:09:06 PM
It's all relative to the reason you arrived at this point. For me, my first marriage was disaster, I was only 24, she ran off with an escaped inmate (yes its true), I had no idea where she was for days. She was a huge drinker but you really don't see those things as a problem when your that young. So she ran off to Southern California and left me with all the bills and everything. So yes in this case I was happy to get out. It was just a nightmare.

My second lasted for almost 17 years, it was a mutual split after everything in our lives flew apart and I was the one who filed. But I will never forget that day when we both stood in the attorneys office and signed the final papers. She was quiet didn't say a word and promptly left. I was last and signed the papers and got about a block down the road and I had this feeling come over me. I had to pull over and stop, I was overwhelmed with this feeling of loss. You could have just told me my best friend had died and in a way, she did. It was not a happy time for a long time after that.

My ex commented to me after I told her I was very sad, she said her co-workers wanted to go out that night and celebrate, she told them she had nothing to celebrate.

So, like I said it all depends on the situation as to why you split.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/1/2008 2:50:19 PM
I already raised my kid to be a well adjusted 22 year old out on her own. I think I am more afraid of ladies in my age group 45 and up that WANT to have kids. There is no way I am doing that again at this age.

What a lot of people don't understand is that having children is the most selfish thing you can do for yourself. You are not doing it for anyone else but YOU!! So, when your "over the hill" and still want to have children there is only one reason, your selfish... Your not truly offering that child a great future to a couple of people the age of "grand parents". What child wants to have parents who will be old enough to be the age of the kids grandparents and who are 70 trying to teach them driver ed. I am not saying those early years are not loaded with fun, but its mostly for the parents. In the later as teens, they want to show what they have accomplished in life, and in many cases one or both the parents will have died or require care by the time your child is trying to start his/her life. I just think its a shame to do that to someone by choice.

I myself have done my job, did the diapers, toddler, sports, all those great things that make your children into a great adult and hopefully a better parent than myself.

So, no at this point in my life, unless that person had older teens I don't think I would want to get involved.

And to those that put "my children come first" in your profile, its very admirable, but I don't want to be last in your life. A better statement or even attitude would be, I love my children and would do anything for them, and I want my partner to understand that our time must be divided between us and my children.

I am only saying, I read many profiles where its clear the kids come first, and we don't need a father....blah blah blah.... But until you are ready to let someone into your inner circle and be part of the whole family, you might as well just do a FWB thing.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 204 (view)
 
female G-Spot...
Posted: 10/31/2008 9:45:49 AM

you men have, as usual, kept it hidden from us as this is how queers get off with anal---gspot is the prostate gland, or anyway the analogous part in a female


I don't think "queer men" really care where your G-spot is...they are to busy doing each other to want to deal with trying to help you find your G-spot. But I love how you correlate any man that enjoys prostate stimulation as queer....maybe you been dating to many queer men in the past?

And lastly, its your body, if you can't or don't want to experiment and learn how to please yourself don't blame the queer men.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/30/2008 11:04:30 AM
Well I guess standing up for the OP by saying, I think he can date anyone who is willing to date him, is self serving....fine.

I also don't think its self serving to to disagree that all "back-up plans" are viable and that you can not plan for everything. Nor do I think its self serving to feel that its unrealistic to think it will never happen to you. Along with the fact I don't agree with bashing people standing in line for food or those with disabilities by generalizing they somehow are taking something from you when they are not.

I think you have a problem when you need to pick on people who are at the bottom and not give them any sound advice but only criticize them for where they are. But pointing out "it will never happen to me" is stupid and irresponsible, you have no idea what life will bring you and it can devastating. And no not everyone does what they should thats all part of being human. Simply put, if we as humans were all so perfect, there would be no need for laws or jails. We would all live by the golden rule and life would be perfect.

And if you think I have turned this into something about me, well you may want to point out what it, that is about me? I just don't agree with a couple of the posters and have no problem stating that. And if you think this make me ignorant, fine.

Apparently, my views are too distorted so I will bow out and let this all drop. Good luck to the OP.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/29/2008 8:19:02 PM
^^^ You are so full of crap your trying to get yourself to believe it...thats what sad. I am from Seattle also and I see those same people. But I won't dare to guess why they are standing in a line for food...I once had too.

So your so called "empathy" is nothing more than a way to make yourself justified in feeling the way you do toward others you don't know or want to understand.

I don't really think you know what the word empathy means since it sure as hell doesn't apply to anything you just wrote....


From work I can see a food bank. The line starts at about 9 am. They don't open their doors till around 3. That's 6 hours that they stand around and wait for hand outs. Not all of those people are in need of help. Not all of the homeless are unable to find work. They chose not to because they can live off of bleeding hearts.


Empathy...you don't even know what the word means and you proved that with your own statement. Your an arrogant man who thinks he is above everyone else and what you write proves it every time. You almost have more of a jealous tone to your comments on this thread that your working while others are living the big life of standing in line for food, pan handling or not making "back-up" plans that live up to your expectations.

Empathy is the capacity to recognize or understand another's state of mind or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or to in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself. Empathy does not necessarily imply compassion, because this capacity can be present in context of compassionate or cruel behavior. {Wiki on Empathy}.

Are you really honestly this ignorant as to post the fact that you think people stand in line for food for six hours to get "hand outs" because they want to "live off of bleeding hearts".... You need to get some help and talk with a therapist or minister, you are so way off base its sad.

If this was my opinion I sure as heck wouldn't put it in a forum to be read by prospective ladies that would want to date me, after this I would be afraid no one would want to date me....
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is partner swapping OK????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:25:37 PM
Well, you are clearly an open person if your bi and have been with the other lady before. So the question really is, what is it that is bothering you?

Are more worried about what they will think of you two, you alone, or you worried about what she will think of you?

Or are you worried about what your male partner thinks? I mean, he is dating a bi woman, means he know you have sex with other women, so what is your worried about and how do you think it will ruin the relationship?

You had to have had some talk before this all started?

At this point, really if you have an issue with something that happened you need to talk about with the person you have the issue with and tell your partner what it is.

I have been here before and we set ground rules before we ever did anything, and rule number 1 was if at anytime either feels anything but enjoyment then we are to stop and end it. There were other rules of engagement...LOL but you need to spell out what is important to you and let your partner also say whats important. Also if its another couple (or single person) that you have never played with before you also need to ask what they have for limits and explain what both of yours are. Failing to do this is a sure fire way to get someones feelings hurt or cause resentment later. This type of thing is not for everyone and you really need to be open with yourself and your partner to fully enjoy it.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 163 (view)
 
have you ever tasted breastmilk?
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:13:58 PM
ohhh...I always wanted to try this... Every lady I have known was either years since she had kids or never had any... and I was adopted too!! No wonder I have breast/nipple thing...lmao
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
it is okay to hookup with your ex for sex?
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:06:43 PM
There were some statistics I read a couple years ago about couples that move to Florida to retire, then get divorced and continue to have sex with each other. It was rather staggering then number was well over 60%. But it also went on to note that those people in the survey also felt it was OK to be having sex with others also. So apparently you move to Florida, get divorced, still bang the ex, and everyones else's ex too...LOL

Oh, its a comfort thing, your comfortable, its easy, you know what makes both of you get off... its all good until you either become attached again, can't break the bond or one of you want to move-on and the other gets jealous and its like breaking up all over again.

Now I brought up the retirement people because I think as you get older sometimes just because your not a couple doesn't mean you need to burn all the bridges, its still nice to have someone that knows you and as we all get older, the number gets smaller.

Just need to balance want with need :)
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/27/2008 6:09:21 PM
Msg 56... First of all the OP is an adult and lives as he chooses, second as long as he is honest (its been very clear he has been in his posts and then he gets to get flamed by people like you so badly for being honest) then anyone who is also an ADULT can make a choice to date him or not. That as simple as is gets. Be honest, let others choose, live and let live.

Now for your terribly misguided understanding of how life works...as you say "And it’s painfully obvious that some of us have ensured that during adversity in our lives, we made sure in advance that we weren't flying without a net…" Get a clue or pull your head out, the fact that you live in a fantasy land where there is a safety net only really adds merit to what I have been saying. The only "safety net" you have is in your head because simply nothing ....I mean nothing is a given. You cannot possibly plan for everything that can and will go wrong. To look around at everyone else and say, oh that wont be me, is at best foolish if not a huge understatement. Not only that it is insulting to people that have lost everything and suffered tremendously to so callously point a finger and say...you didn't have a back-up plan or safety net. I very seriously doubt out of the almost three quarters of a million people out of work right now, none had a back-up plan. But apparently according to your beliefs, they didn't or it wasn't good enough. I am willing to bet out of those 700,000 people jobless right now and to those that have lost homes there are at least a few that are a whole lot smarter and probably even had a better back-up plan than you do and it still failed (of course I am sure your arrogance would say...they didn't have the right plan or they somehow screwed it up...blah blah blah, never the less leaving them to blame).

But I just love how you just pick and choose little snips here and there to answer, no one answered what the "back-up plan" was for six million Jews that were killed, I am sure you would have had a back-up plan but the other 5,9999,999 people lacked one.

Some day you will get a lesson in humility and at that point when your ship sinks you will then realize that there was some little detail you forgot to take into account or you will just point the finger of blame upon someone else as a reversal of attitude.

As for the majority of us, I guess we will just suffer along, with not having made a contingent plan that was sufficient to meet your criteria.

You see, what you are truly lacking is not a plan but its called compassion, you have none, and are a cold hearted person. See a singular person is not capable of providing everything one needs in life, so you are forced to rely upon others and you can't plan, depend and guarantee they will behave and act as you wish.

In the correct environment people depend on others to provide, guide and help. Not point a finger and asses blame, but to hold out a hand and to help, not give them the finger.

Maybe some good old community service will make you realize that people are people because they do fall down and need a helping hand and that is what makes us all human.

So I am very glad you Rockman have it all worked out for yourselves so the rest of us can sleep well tonight knowing that in this uncertain world you two have a "back-up" plan for yourselves that is failsafe. I know I feel all warm and fuzzy knowing you two won't ever ask me for help.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/27/2008 12:26:42 PM
^^^ Not really sure how your can shoot holes in a "theory" that is factual when all I have said and continue to say, that you can not be prepared for everything that can possibly happen to you and its ignorant to think you are in complete control of your life.

And as for the spell check and "looser"....that only speaks volumes to all the other readers about your inability to have a debate without the need for name calling and to dismiss the fact your spelling or lack of being able to use spell check when you are berating someone is somehow that other persons fault.

Yes, I do believe when you attack other people and call them names like "marter" [sic] you should at least spell it correctly. You see its not a poor reflection on me, its a poor reflection on yourself and either your lack of education or your flat out to lazy to care.

What I honestly see comming through in all your posts directed toward me is an old man who is grasping at what little they have left and trying to feel empowered by berating other people with ignorance and trying to impress others with what you think you have that will impress them. I think you have shown a side of you in these posts that is less than desirable to most.

You lack any form of compassion and understand for the human race and those that have fallen down, you refuse to acknowledge that you yourself can become a victim at anytime and worse you beat up on those that don't agree with you or that you define as unprepared.

Sir, I never lowered myself to personal attacks until you launched the first attack. And I shall end this conversation on this post as continuing this line of rhetoric is pointless.

But let us all not forget, when it all goes wrong who dials 911 and to those that show up to help. And some of the most skilled and talented people in the field of what they do die or becomes incapacitated everyday when something they didn't plan on goes horribly wrong.

So yes, something as simple as being trained in several types of jobs my increase your likely hood of getting work, but there are no guarantees that when we hit one million people out of work, you may not even be able to get that job at 7-11.

Very few people in the world are truly isolated from the effects of economic slow downs, massive layoffs, massive unemployment, declining dollar, stock market crashes and depressions. If you truly think you are immune from all that, great for you.

But I will go back to one statement I made that you never answered, if you think all the Jews that got murdered all six million, during the Holocaust were "unprepared" and "need to take personal responsibility" and had they "been prepared" then your ignorance is astounding.

For a person who acknowledges his own limitations and weaknesses is one who is stronger than someone who refuses to acknowledge they have none.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 763 (view)
 
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 10/26/2008 12:05:27 PM
I don't think it really matter what a woman looks like so long as she is attractive to me. I have dated ladies of all sizes and tend to prefer ladies that are rubenesque. If feel the only true disservice to women is the fact that many do not accurately list themselves in the right category. I see many ladies who are plus size (BBW) and they list themselves as "a few pounds overweight". Come on, who are you fooling? It would be like me listing myself as a few pounds overwright....sure compared to a guy who is trying to set the world record for being the fattest man, I might be several hundred pounds less, but I am sure as hell not a "few pounds overweight" ... But getting out the insurance industry chart is not really fair either, everyone is different. And different people carry weight differently... At some point it doesn't matter what you 'label' yourself, its all going to be what others see. You can be fat, happy and confident or thin, unhappy and lack confidence. Size is not relative to your outlook on life.

Quote from rubenesquepersonals.com
"What makes a woman Rubenesque?
Quite frankly, beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. And today, when most people think of an attractive woman in the fashion sense, they usually imagine a slim-hipped waif with hollow cheeks, narrow shoulders, and a rather unremarkable bustline. This is what commerce has brainwashed modern society into believing is the ideal woman. It is a lie, propagated by marketing forces and fashion designers who use the obsession with a slender female form as a means to earn millions of dollars selling weight-loss products and other health routines. But some of us know better. There is another female form that has been idealized for centuries. She is the familiar hourglass or pear-shaped woman of wide hips, an ample bust, plump cheeks, soft-full lips, and a generally healthy profile of alluring curves and crevasses. She is the Rubenesque Woman. Elegant. Cultured. Educated and Beautiful. In fact, the very word "rubenesque" originates from the adorable plump women so frequently put to canvas by Renaissance Master Peter Paul Rubens.

Rubens paintings were so treasured because he painted the lovely women that he saw around him. In Ruben's time, what are today called plus-size, ample-bodied, full-figured, or pleasingly plump, were considered very attractive, if not the most sought after of all women. A firm heavy bust, complimented by shapely hips were physical features that women of Ruben's day could be proud of. In fact, the fashion of those times exaggerated these very features. Even slender women struggled into agonizingly tight-fitting corsets and brassiers that held the mammaries upright so as to enhance their God-given curves. Sadly, today these concepts of female beauty are all but lost. Even the over-used term BBW { big beautiful woman } seems an attempt to force a positive image upon women who should be regarded as comely, just as they are!"
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Dealing with breakup this Weekend...help
Posted: 10/25/2008 9:56:33 PM
WOW I just did the math...at 45 I could be dating someone who is 27....holy sh*t....I think I would be tired and wore out too :)
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/25/2008 7:42:49 PM
I also wanted to clear one thing up with you Mr. Rock, you use of the word "marter" [sic].

This is what it means, and it never applied to any of my posts.

The term martyr (Greek μάρτυς martys "witness") is most commonly used today to describe an individual who sacrifices his life (or personal freedom) in order to further a cause or belief for many.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/25/2008 7:28:42 PM
You can throw yourself out there as the marter all you want. It does not hide your resentment towards others that are still able to provide for them selves.

Your apples to others oranges make a nasty juice. you are trying to turn this into some kind of disability living on ssdi argument! Poor you!

That's not what this thread is about! This thread is about people that are able to go out and make changes for them selves. You have just chosen to twist it to fill the void of a deleted thread! Your trolling for potty!


If your talking about me, you are terribly mistaken. I have no idea where you think I resent others? I retired from a wonderful career and no I am not on SSDI, and the thread I started is still alive and well. I am sorry, I am not trolling for "potty", really if you choose to try to make fun of me at least spell it right and use some correct grammar along with getting the facts correct. Nothing worse than trying to impress others by beating someone else down and then looking like a retard while doing it.

My whole posting in this thread was to say....I don't care how prepared you think you are, you are not prepared for everything....period... twist it anyway you want and go vote republican...

It was never I who chose to point out what I have or don't have it is not necessary for me to build myself up with material things and point them out to people on the internet it really is not that important to me. You chose to list the fact you live in a gated community, have a couple of Dodge's...etc...(you might want to add and asset list to your profile and see if that helps people to be able to keep up with your inventory).

But honestly, I don't need to list all my assets in a online forum to make myself feel better. I did list my desires for what I would want from a partner but lets hope yours wants to live in a gated community and drive a Dodge. Hell, having both of those is not hard to do, neither is taking a year off of work. I don't really see what your having to do with living where you live or owning a couple Dodges relates to "personal accountability" even the most un-accountable people have a couple cars and can choose to live in a place with a gate.

I am not really sure what your problem is with me or what I post. I guess I have struck a nerve with you and somewhere down the line you have a deep rooted problem.

If you don't like the fact that I feel people are not always prepared for the worst and I have personal knowledge and 25 years of experience dealing with that...fine disagree, its your right. But this is not about me, it never was, it was you that made it about you and what you have. Your materialistic and thats fine, some of us have realized that while jobs, cars, houses, money and crap in general can come and go, its the people in your life that matter the most.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/25/2008 11:31:27 AM
This whole topic if very similar to one I started on "would you date someone on SSDI" and the responses are pretty much the same. There are those people that believe they have super human powers that will never allow themselves to be in a position of not being in control. Its a false and misleading concept but a novel one.

Its not until you hit rock bottom that you truly appreciate the fact life does not matter if you live debt free, in a gated community and drive an 05 and 08 Dodge (the fact you drive Dodge's may speak volumes of your choices alone) But still the need to point out they the "Rock" is so well off he has all these things is like John McCain saying I know how the average American feels right now, while I own 12 house's and have 13 cars....I can feel your pain (not!). Bottom line is, you don't know and won't know.

Its all shows because the only things you point out are the materialistic things you posses and that is what is important to you.

I would take poor, broke and in love than rich and lonely any day of the week. I have been both and know what matters the most. Laying in a hospital bed near death won't make me feel better knowing my bills are paid and I have an 05 and 08 Dodge parked back in my gated community. But having someone next to me that loves me to hold my hand is priceless.

And for those that think personal responsibility and the need to dismiss "acts of god" good luck, I am sure all the Jews that were sent to the gas chambers somehow in your mind could have chosen a different plan and should have prepared for it.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/24/2008 8:49:43 PM
^^^ why even bother to engage in this conversation anymore... At least stop taking my comments out of context for your own misguided perspective.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/24/2008 1:03:58 PM
The truth of the matter is for all the people that think they really have their sh*t together, the rest of us only need to look at the fact your on a free internet dating site.

So really, please stop fooling yourself about how much you have it all together when your surfing free internet dating sites or even pay sites. Those in life that truly have it all together don't use the internet to try to meet people. They meet people by association from work, friends, parties etc. Do you really think men and women who make well above the six figure incomes need to come to places like this to find people to date? Not really, and for that matter why would they want to meet people from a free internet site when they are the ones who do have it all together.

I am sorry, if I was so well off that I could jet set around the world being a playboy I wouldn't need a site like this to meet women, they gravitate toward you. And the same goes for women who are in the same position.

Lets be real, most people here are Joe Average (no I refuse to say Joe Plumber) and in those respects that makes your average and well you may think you have your sh*t together and you may have more of your sh*t together than others but you also have a lot less of your sh*t together than many also.

So whats it really relative too? LOVE and finding someone that accepts you for you and your not having your sh*t together....and that is not something you can quantify as having your sh*t together.

See there are plenty of people in this world with lots of money who are emotionally unavailable, uncaring flat out users both men and women, but yet they draw lots of people toward them since they 'appear' to have their sh*t together. But there are many more people in this world who have an idea that love is not based on materialistic items and that true love is finding someone that 'gets' you not that gets to use your Amex Black Card.

I would take someone who is into me and there for me and supports me who has my back long before I would chose someone with money or appears to have their sh*t together. Many times its an illusion to have ones sh*t together since you really have no idea what it means.

Some of the most real, kindest and caring people I have known are those that have been or are going through adversity. The meanest biggest **** I ever dated was the one lady I thought ...wow....she really has her sh*t together. Great career, made well into the mid 6 figures, house with a pool, no kids....oh yeah baby!....she turned out to be a total whack job... within a couple weeks she was threating me with a restraining order for no reason!! I found out she had like 8 or so against previous "boy friends" ... so no the appearance of having your sh*t together is just that, an appearance.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Definition Of A FREAK?? And Who Is Proud To Be One??
Posted: 10/23/2008 5:12:08 PM

What if I'm a Maverick and I like to get all Maverick-y?


I think that involves horses and then we come back to the word freak....see it gets circular....LOL
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Dating back at Square one
Posted: 10/23/2008 4:48:47 PM

When your life can collapse due to a single portion of it not working out, you are not on top of the world nor do you have everything...
Sorry... but I can't see anyone wanting to be with someone that builds a house of cards knowing there will be harsh winds ahead...


Very well spoken from someone that has never lost everything. And yes I can tell you haven't since you think can make that comment. Wait till something you have no power over snaps you like a twig and your left with nothing. It can come in the form of an illness, accident, act of nature or war. At times you have no control over what is going to happen.

Second, if you spot the person who built a house of cards and you can avoid them good luck, cause you will need ESP to know it. I am sure your parents or grandparents who might lost most of their retirement in this financial meltdown lately had built everything on a house of cards? Do you think all the people that lost jobs, houses, money all had houses of cards?

What an irresponsible and ignorant statement to make until you have lived in someone else's shoes that has suffered a horrific loss. And at times those of us who have lost everything were only too happy to realize we still had feet to put shoes on so we could get back up on our feet and try again.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 157 (view)
 
Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/23/2008 4:29:30 PM
This is not a right or wrong type of answer....its a "depends"...why? Well its a morality answer...and it all depends on what you and your partner agree on. We can get as simple as its wrong to look at another person to its OK to get a BJ in the Oval Office since it was only oral sex and everything that falls in between. "Cheating" comes in many forms from as some people claim just thinking about another and simple flirting to flat out screwing someone else. Its all what direction your moral compass points.

A lot of people of people consider webcam sex to be harmless and not much different than watching an adult movie. And for some people watching an adult movie and masturbating is wrong. So where you choose to draw the line is something that you need to decide with your partner. If they don't agree or don't like it then a decision needs to be made.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Men in diapers
Posted: 10/22/2008 12:10:06 AM

Another cause is obesity. Men have alot of leakage if they're overweight. It's got to do with belts and pants having to squeeze the midsection to stay on and affecting the bladder.


WOAH......STOP THE BUS!!! This is plain out BS and is not true. This is where I take a stand. As a FAT guy, yes at 380lbs I am a big boy and I have weighed at lot more years ago. I have never and no one I have ever known that is even bigger than me, has had this problem. This is a misconception by people that don't know how clueless they are. Now I have read that pregnant women may suffer from this at time depending on the position of the baby. But no not men who are fat, its not the belt or pants squeezing anything.....geezus!

Lets also separate medical conditions from a fetish please...

The main cause of incontinence:
Definition: Incontinence is the inability to control urination. It affects people of all ages and gender, but woman are twice as likely as men to develop incontinence.

Four Types of Incontinence

Stress Incontinence: Incontinence that occurs during coughing, sneezing, laughing, lifting heavy objects or making other movements that put pressure, or stress, on the bladder. This results from weak pelvic muscles or a weakening of the wall between the bladder and vagina. The weakness is due to pregnancy and childbirth or from lower levels of the hormone estrogen during menstrual periods or after menopause.

Urge Incontinence: Incontinence after feeling a sudden urge to urinate with inability to control the bladder, such as while sleeping, drinking water or listening to water running.

Overflow Incontinence: Incontinence that occurs when the bladder is constantly full, and reaches a point where it overflows and leaks urine. This condition can occur when the urethra is blocked due to causes such as kidney or urinary stones, tumors or, an enlarged prostate. It may also be the result of weak bladder muscles, due to nerve damage from diabetes or other diseases.

Functional Incontinence: Incontinence that occurs when physical disabilities, external obstacles, or problems in thinking or communicating prevent a person from getting to a bathroom before they urinate.

Also Known As: Urinary Incontinence, Over Active Bladder
 
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