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 Author Thread: Do women want to be judged on their looks?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Do women want to be judged on their looks?
Posted: 9/9/2018 1:12:56 AM

Do women want to be judged on their looks?

Only the pretty ones. The smart ones want to be judged on their brains, the good cooks want to be judged on their cooking, etc..

If you were (or are) ugly, would you want to be judged on your looks? Of course not. We each want to be judged on our best qualities, not our worst.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 107 (view)
 
POF SHUT DOWN THESE BOARDS
Posted: 9/9/2018 1:10:31 AM
Hey, anything that keeps irritated keyboard warriors at home in their basements pounding out angry forum posts instead of actually going out angry and shooting people, is fine with me. More boards, please. Keep the mongrels busy behind the computer screens. It will make the streets safer.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 101 (view)
 
black woman parks in handicap space, demands justice
Posted: 9/9/2018 1:05:29 AM
I know handicapped people who routinely have to park far away from the handicapped spaces because able bodied people take them. So anyone who uses handicapped spaces when they should not, should be shot. In the particular case sited, in the video there were regular parking spaces available when the lady pulled into the handicapped spot. The incident never would have occurred had she been a considerate human being. The couple's being lazy and self entitled caused this incident. Good riddance.
JMHO.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
ARE THERE ANY PEOPLE THAT ARE 100% EVIL???
Posted: 9/9/2018 1:00:19 AM
Well, I would consider the priests who molest all those children to be 100% evil. And there's supposedly about 25,000 of them spread around the world, based on the figures quoted in Spotlight. So that's a lot of evil, out there.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 7317 (view)
 
Will President Elect Donald Trump Last The Full 4 Years?
Posted: 9/9/2018 12:51:42 AM
Sure he'll last four years. Or, he'll resign and Pence will pardon him, as was done with Nixon. We've had crappy presidents before, and probably will, again. The voters are generally uneducated AND lazy, never bothering to research out a candidate's actual past behavior, only believing the commercials and what the candidate tells them. Then, of course, having two equally crappy candidates (as we were presented with in 2016) and equally crappy independent candidates, it didn't matter who we voted for, we were going to get someone awful. Trump is just a bit more awful than the other options.
England survived mad king George the third, we'll survive Trump. The real scary part is the voters who put him into the white house; they'll still be out there, believing in crop circles and Infowars, and will be voting against their own better interests once again in 2020.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 194 (view)
 
why do do many women have body type = thin
Posted: 9/9/2018 12:37:24 AM
Because today, body type 'average' is obese. So what used to be normal, is now considered thin. Slender folks are routinely ridiculed by the fat people for supposedly being emaciated; the chants of the obese to normal girls to 'put a little meat on those bones' is pretty common, all to shame the normal ones into getting to be obese like the rest of the fatties. In the past 40 years or so, the average weight of both men and woman has risen by over 20 pounds in America, while their height has remained the same. Muffin tops are now more common than normal figures.
Being fat is now the average. What screws it up even more, is that people are considering that average equals normal; it isn't. Just like in a town that is ravaged by disease, all their body core temperatures might be 104 degrees F (or 42 degrees C), those temperatures may be average, but are certainly not 'normal', being obese may be the new average, but it is certainly not 'normal'.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
boyfriend stood me up Christmas Day
Posted: 9/9/2018 12:09:50 AM
Could be worse. A few days before christmas one year, I had planned out an evening, and, not wanting to wait, presented my girlfriend of one year with a lovely fur coat as a present, which she could wear to the nice restaurant and show that I was taking her to that night. Where upon I got the 'we have to talk', speech that she apparently had all planned out, to break up with me....right before christmas. She already had another boyfriend. I was devastated. Having spent a lot of money for the Broadway show, I wound up taking my dad. And wound up giving away the tickets to the new year's eve party that I had already purchased.

So missing one christmas dinner doesn't seem that bad, from my perspective.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 207 (view)
 
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 9/9/2018 12:01:13 AM
Sadly, I've learned that there are virtually no women interested in me; statistics say <1%, and then of course I have to consider all the normal compatibility issues. Molested as a kid, a couple of decades of gender identity dysphoria, add in the difficulty in having intercourse due to flashbacks to the sexual abuse, and I'm simply not the standard issue, always erect in a moment, male, that women have grown to expect and are attracted to. Oh, they feel sorry for me, and some are friends, but sexual attraction? Nope. Doesn't happen. Basically, I'm like one of the dented cans of food in the grocery cart at the front of the grocery store, with no label, being sold off at a huge discount just to get someone to buy it to get it out of the store. Maybe I should start a 'dented can' club of psychologically damaged people where we can all get together once in a while to reassure ourselves that there's always an outside chance we'll meet someone in life. Oh, I've learned all the other social and sexual skills, but true romance evades me once the woman learns more about me. I feel destined to a lifetime of short term, eventually failed relationships.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Mens Cologne
Posted: 9/8/2018 7:42:21 PM
I've found that the scent of fresh, crisp, newly printed stacks of $100 bills to be a great aphrodisiac. Rub them all over your body as you get into bed. Works every time.

Only half kidding. Yes, I discovered one cologne which has been instrumental in attracting women, but it's no longer on the market, and I've purchased about a decade's worth of it to keep it in stock, I hope the manufacturer will eventually start selling it again. And no, I'm not going to reveal what it is. I discovered it by accident, purchasing the body spray deodorant product when my usual brand wasn't in stock. That night, I had several women tell me just how good I smelled, being emphatic about it. That became my signature scent from then on. I still haven't found a woman who doesn't like it.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
why woman like eating a pussy more than sex
Posted: 9/8/2018 7:39:55 PM
I remember well, when I once spoke with a gay woman at work, when business was slow. Topic got around to sex, and one thing she said will remain in my mind forever: "However much time you're spending going down on your girlfriend, double it. No, triple it. I know what I'm talking about".

I never forgot. And have always been welcomed back. Thank you, Donna, wherever you are.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 250 (view)
 
What is Creepy?
Posted: 9/8/2018 7:24:26 PM
Creepy: Someone who you're not attracted to, being interested in you.
Not creepy: Someone that you're attracted to, being interested in you. Then it's just flirting.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 644 (view)
 
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/8/2018 7:16:35 PM
The problem with women making the first move, is that men are visually oriented. If there's anything about the woman that turns him off, nothing in the world is going to make him want her. Luckily, for most men, about 90% of single women his own age are potentially acceptable. Whether you are acceptable for the long term, well that depends entirely on the woman.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 199 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/8/2018 7:14:14 PM
Nice guys don't finish last.
Needy guys finish last.
It took me decades to learn the difference.
Women are generally followers. They want their men to be leaders.
It becomes important to have a general idea of what women want, and provide it for them, without them having to make decisions about it. And most of all, be able to recognize when a woman is upset, bored, or unhappy. Far too many men have no clue when their woman is unhappy.
Pay attention, men. Most men do not. It makes all the difference.
Girls just want to have fun. Know what is fun for your lady, and what is not. Hanging out at your buddy's house playing video games might be tolerable, but probably not her preferred activity.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 543 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 9/8/2018 7:03:04 PM
Men lie to women because it's become apparent that women approve being lied to. Countless women find bad boys appealing, and treat kind, honest men as losers. So men learn to lie, or be alone. Ladies, look at what you do which reinforces men's behavior. Date bad boys? You deserve a bad man. Let those men walk all over you? You deserve a man who walks all over you. Keep the nice, not so assertive men in the friend zone? You won't be dating nice men, because you are actively conditioning them not to be nice to you.

Yes, I understand that women like confident, completely honest, financially successful, affectionate, men who have leadership characteristics, and who are kind to their female mates. But few men have all those attributes. So when you accept one who is lacking, you are demonstrating to every man who observes, that you are willing to accept less than you say you would.

I was brought up to treat women with respect, to give them choices, and let them make thier own decisions on what they would like to do. It took me a few decades to understand that women don't want choices. They don't want to make decisions. You want a man to come up with a life for you that you will enjoy, where you never have to make any decisions. The phrase 'girls just want to have fun' is incredibly accurate. Keep life fun for you, and men can get away with pretty much anything. That's what we've learned.
You don't want the truth. You can't handle the truth. That's what men have learned. We give you what we think you want, because we want YOU.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 526 (view)
 
Men height vs women weight
Posted: 10/16/2017 12:34:45 PM
The arguments are always from a person who is interested in another who does not find person #1 attractive. Then it becomes the old refrain, 'oh they're so shallow'.
Either someone finds you sexually attractive, or they do not. Sometimes women can come around if the guy has enough money/status/assets, but men rarely get turned on by those things if the woman wasn't initially found to be sexually attractive to begin with.
Then we get to height/weight. Short, rich men seem to have no trouble attracting taller mates. Gee, I wonder why. And beautiful, dumb, poor women routinely attract plenty of young, tall, financially well off men. That's how the world works.
Now then, no matter who you are, there will be some people interested in you. That makes it YOUR job to find them. Place personal ads, go out to places where people look for mates (well, that's actually EVERYWHERE now, isn't it?), and most importantly, learn to spot people who are already interested in you. THen pick one of them. If you've gone a year and don't like anyone who is already interested in you, then you're too picky.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 6/28/2017 6:08:16 AM
I'm always amazed at how some folks stay with others who treat them awfully. A guy tells you you need breast implants? And you stay with him? Makes no sense at all. As far as having implants done, well, only if it's for yourself. Far too many people like to chip in and say that we should all stay how we are naturally. However, I had an ugly birthmark on my face, and had it fixed. Made me feel tremendously better. So if you're not happy with some part of your body, and can get it right, go for it.
That said, there are guys for whatever you look like, and plenty aren't crazy over huge breasts. I've always liked slender women, but that's just me. So, figure out who likes who YOU are, and pick a mate from one of them. Because you can't force someone to find you attractive; and if you don't have what they want, you'll be fighting an uphill battle the rest of your life.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 70 (view)
 
best joke of the week
Posted: 3/28/2017 7:54:13 PM
A photon walks into a hotel and asks for a room. The concierge asks if he has any luggage. "No, I'm travelling light." Badaboom-tish :D
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Prefer to be a girl or a guy on this site?
Posted: 2/17/2017 10:03:33 AM

There are plenty who are already confused...Like Bruce Jenner.

She's not confused. Other people are. She figured out who and what she is. It's society that has a problem with it. Seems she's quite happy. But the guys in the office? Oh, they're pissed off. 'Why do I have to have him in my news feed! I can't stand it! It's terrible! I can't deal with it! Why does he have his own TV show, he's an attention whore, he did it all just for the money/TV show/etc.. '
The whining from homophobic straight men is just embarrassing, they need to grow up and stop thinking the world revolves around their opinions.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
does anyone else play games on here?
Posted: 2/17/2017 9:57:45 AM
I'm the miserable one who sends out messages to random women to let them know at least one guy is interested in them.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why Mr. Foxworthy should be hung from Mr. Trump's wall
Posted: 1/24/2017 4:05:47 PM
Oh for heaven's sake, we've had ignorant rural (and inner city) people way before Foxworthy showed up. Mostly, because the politicians in those areas WANT their voters to be ignorant, so they can continue to rob them blind and blame it on their political opponents. Look at the schools; terrible. Actively working to ignore science. Removing books from libraries. Stopping sex education in the belief that it will stop kids from wanting to have sex. They really are the low information voters. Hopefully now that the internet is available, in 20 years or so, that won't be true. But right now? Holy crap, are there a lot of people in rural America who don't have a clue.

Our education system is part of the problem. My nephews learned more history from watching historical shows on TV than they ever did in school (where they're only allowed to teach the accepted incorrect stories that we were taught 50 years ago). We can't even teach kids to count. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVXU_uwt3qQ
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Is there any way to address a potential boyfriend's cheapness?
Posted: 1/24/2017 3:49:24 PM
Sounds like he's willing to spend money, just not ON YOU OR WITH YOU in ways that you'd like. That should tell you everything you need to know. And no, he will not change. Women always think they can get men to change. Nope. Either accept him as he is, or look for someone else. Otherwise you're going to be chronically disappointed.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 1/24/2017 3:26:46 PM
Been way longer than 8 years for me. Affection is way more important than sex. You can give yourself an orgasm; you can't give yourself a hug.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Kink shamimg
Posted: 1/24/2017 3:23:57 PM

The allegations about Trump are obvious lies

We can't know, and shouldn't care. The constant insanity about politicians personal lives is a complete waste of time, because it doesn't affect us one way or another. People who focus on their personal lives are busybodies who should mind their own business, or MAYBE, start paying attention to the policies and laws that the politician in question passes that directly effect the rest of us. I personally don't care if our 'honorable' civic leaders like getting peed on, scat on, dumped in latrines, or covered in molasses, as long as they do their job. Which, btw, the current set of leaders DIDN'T do last year when it was time to get a new supreme court justice; it's been what, a year? Holy crap. That's way more important than whether someone gets their jollies with pee.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Mens Cologne
Posted: 1/24/2017 3:12:44 PM

I like Polo, and wear it occasionally. It’s too strong for everyday use,

Holy crap, you're not supposed to wear that much of it. It's a common problem with men; using too much scent, as if some is good, more it better. If they can smell you in the room, you're using too much. Subtlety. Don't pour it in one hand and then splash on a bunch like the guy in the old Mennen or Aqua Velva after shave commercials (which, BTW, is apparently what most men do). Try a dab on pulse points and see how that goes over. A DAB. Touch the inner wrist and lower neck with ONE finger that's wet with your desired scent. That's all. Renew after lunch or after work. You don't need any more.
Edit, you can also use the lady's trick of spraying it ONCE into the air, then walk through the scented air. Again, don't create a cloud, you don't need that much.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Nipple Orgasm - Does it Exist?
Posted: 1/24/2017 2:58:22 PM
Not surprisingly, most of the responses are from men, who usually cannot genuinely tell if a woman has an orgasm in any way, shape or form (this being evaluated by the percentage of men who insist that their partners always reach orgasms from intercourse alone, which, of course, they claim is 100%). For the gals who can, all I can wonder is if your male partner thinks you orgasm from nipple stimulation every time they 'work you over'. wouldn't surprise me.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
New dating site. Anyone wanna test it?
Posted: 1/11/2017 9:12:48 PM
As above, get used to the hate. There are always going to be people that are against you in any endeavor. I created a profile and the website appears easy enough to use so far, but we'll have to wait and see how it grows. I don't write code, but you might want to limit how many initial contact messages each user can send within each 24 hour period, or you'll have guys sending hundreds of messages to women in fishing attempts, to see which ones respond, as this has been the usual result at dating sites in the past. Real initial contact messages require more thought than just 'Hi, how U doin wanna chat', so perhaps 5 a day would be reasonable, but that's only my recommendation. If I think of anything else, I'll leave the ideas here. Good luck with your new website!
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Sex and Astrological Signs
Posted: 12/26/2016 2:26:35 PM
If you can convince someone to believe in astrology, then you're pretty good at that, and can probably convince them to have anal sex with you, too. Lessee now.....Mercury's rising. Venus is in retrograde, Mars is aligned with Jupiter, so it's time for me to take Sa-turn in Uranus! Lemme know how that works out for ya.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Mens Cologne
Posted: 12/26/2016 2:12:10 PM
I accidently found something that pretty much every woman I came across liked, and some were REALLY crazy about it (it's one of the AXE scents, I bought it on sale because the store was out of Right Guard). Then they discontinued making it. I scarfed up everything I can find, the after shave, body wash, body spray. Hope it comes back on the market, because right now it's MY signature scent, and nobody else has it. Meantime, I'm always checking out new scents to see if any have duplicated it. And no, I'm not going to tell anyone what it is......MINE MINE MINE. Figures.....I finally find love potion number nine, and it's no longer available.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/24/2016 3:22:49 PM
Best when smokers stick to other smokers, and non smokers go with other non smokers. The two don't mix well. I tried, I really tried, but the stench was simply too much to put up with. Apparently when you're a smoker, you don't notice the stench of smoke at all. I understand that. I've even tried to get cigarette smokers to understand, by smoking a really smelly cigar around them and asking how they would feel if I did that several times a day, unanymously every one said they wouldn't tolerate it. But when I tried to tell them that's how bad cigarette smoke smells to non smokers, every one of them dismissed my feelings, insisting that 'that's different'. So, good bye smokers.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
What he says to other women
Posted: 12/24/2016 3:11:50 PM
Once again, we come across someone who's most important goal is to get someone to commit exclusively to her. News flash: If you're that wonderful, you won't have any problem getting a guy to want to be with you all the time. If you're not, you won't. So....be the best you can be. Be the woman that a guy will want, try to be the best woman he can find. That's all you can do. Everything else is manipulation, tricks, doing sneaky things to trap someone. Which, by the way, will eventually backfire on you no matter what you do to try to prevent it.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Is growing apart a justifiable excuse?
Posted: 12/24/2016 3:03:57 PM
Romantic love only 'burns hot' for a short period of time. After about 30 months, we start to see our beloved's flaws, as the rose colored glasses come off. A few years later, those flaws start to irritate us.

Hence, the seven year itch phenomenon.

Why does this happen? Genetics. We evolved this way in order to increase the variation of dna individuals, which made it more likely that some would be more resiliant than previous generations, and more likely to survive and reproduce some more.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 165 (view)
 
What is your prediction for next 4 years?
Posted: 12/18/2016 5:07:08 AM
We're going to see just how far the conservative right thinks they can push their pro-rich agenda before they start to worry that none of them will get re-elected. They'll dismantle the affordable care act, and we'll be right back where we started, only this time with even more people without insurance. But they'll all be penalized come tax time, so the politicians will all have more money to spend on their corporate friends. The rich will get richer, the poor will get poorer, and the republicans will resume distraction tactics by focusing their followers on Mexicans, gays, transgendered, jews, atheists, etc., all the while making sure that we will have plenty of unemployed people by making abortion illegal and building a Mexican border wall that will do, well, nothing, because they won't want to come here anymore. Social security eligibility will be pushed up to 75 years of age in order to keep it solvent. Old folks will have to sell their homes and use up all their savings before being moved into new senior centers which will all be single room occupancy. Consumer protections will be removed to that corporations can sell more crappy products without any fear of legal responsibility. Consumer credit interest rate limits will be removed, so that banks will effectively have the same rates as your local loan shark (they're almost there now), while corporations and banks will be able to borrow money from the Federal Reserve for zero percent interest, as the government will pay the fees.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Autism/Aspergers doesn't exist.
Posted: 12/18/2016 4:55:42 AM

For the ones that do believe it's a real condition, do you think it's heavily over-diagnosed

The problem becomes, the APA has expanded the definition of autism so much, that it can be applied to everyone.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 101 (view)
 
when was america great??
Posted: 12/18/2016 4:50:15 AM
It's been great at least since 1951. Tony the Tiger told me so.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 182 (view)
 
Absolutely there is a God.
Posted: 12/18/2016 4:46:37 AM
Some people think I'm dyslexic, but there absolutely is a Dog.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 86 (view)
 
what would the world be like today if only one race existed
Posted: 12/18/2016 4:45:01 AM
Because technically, only one race does exist. Just with a very wide range of shapes and a wide range of colors, depending upon how much melanin is in the skin and hair. Only egocentric humans like to come up with ways in which their own particular shaped and color of people are superior to others.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 462 (view)
 
If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
Posted: 12/18/2016 4:42:22 AM
Hey, god, why do you create humans with brains smart enough to develop the scientific method, and then assume we'll believe in imaginary beings?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 228 (view)
 
HOW TO TURN AN ATHEIST TO A THEIST
Posted: 12/18/2016 4:38:51 AM

HOW TO TURN AN ATHEIST TO A THEIST

Oh, that's simple. Have the deity come and explain itself. Until that happens, we must assume it's a myth.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
There's no such thing as an atheist.
Posted: 12/18/2016 4:37:26 AM
Oh for heaven's sake, please don't feed the trolls.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 73 (view)
 
The 80/20 rules and why relationships suck today.
Posted: 9/20/2016 6:48:15 PM

I thought the 80/20 rule was that 20% of men have sex with 80% of women

I thought that was from another dating website that stated women find 80% of men below average. Interesting, though.


Date women who need less ambition in you

FIFY
I got really tired of hearing women complain that the guy she was with wasn't ambitious enough. To me, that means she felt entitled to be able to spend more money than he made. And that's just wrong.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Prefer to be a girl or a guy on this site?
Posted: 6/21/2016 9:26:57 PM

Prefer to be a girl or a guy on this site?

You mean we can be either? Isn't that going to get lots of people confused?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?
Posted: 6/21/2016 8:28:26 PM

why is it that some girls have a need to dissect a relationship to death

Maybe so that they can fix the current relationship and/or to avoid the same problem 'next time'?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?
Posted: 6/21/2016 4:26:49 PM

What I really don't understand - why not just say 'Sorry, but I no longer want to date for X reason.

Because many people won't accept that. So we simply avoid the argument by not providing option for one.
Let's face it: we usually know when someone isn't very interested in us, simply because we HAVE experienced being involved with someone who really cares about us, and can compare that to feeling well, ignored. As hard as it is to accept, we cannot make someone want to be with us. It simply doesn't work. Either they do, or they don't, and the degree to which, is easily felt. So just do the rational thing, let them know that if they're interested, you need more of their attention. If you don't get it, you have your answer.
And as one other person wrote, there are all kinds of reasons why people stop contact suddenly; most often, I'd guess, is that they met someone they like better. When you're life is busy already, trying to add the new interesting person in often means shutting down even the few minutes of time you spent thinking about another one. I know that sounds unfair, but each of us only has so many hours in a day. When we're run ragged through most of it, we don't all want more interaction with ANYONE. Maybe women do, I don't know. But men often just want some alone time when we're not constantly talking about relationships.

He was just not ready for a real commitment.

Rare. This is the most often used excuse that women give to each other, but always decline to add the most important words: He was just not ready for a real commitment TO YOU. It's to make you feel better about yourself, so you can blame him for your misery. But we all have to face the facts that when someone or something is really, really what we want, we have no problem commiting to it. It's when things aren't exactly what we want, that we have trouble with making a commitment to it. What gets me, is that you expected a commitment after so little time. Seems to make you appear needy, never a good thing.

I dont know how old he is but he lied to you and took the coward's way out so there would be no confrontation.

One might look at it as the coward's way out, another, might see it as not wasting any of their own time. After going through it more than once, having to argue with someone about why we aren't nuts about them, then having them get angry and accusing us of being commitmentphobes or lazy and unwilling to do what they think is necessary to make the relationship work, sometimes it's simpler to just let it die. Not everyone lives for the drama.

While both men and women can be guilty of ghosting, it seems to be something that men do more often (don't have any hard stats on that....just basing it on the numerous articles I've read about the phenomenon).

That would be because men don't endlessly discuss things like this. You don't see any ' how to get her to commit' articles in mens forums or magazines. Men are accustomed to women flaking out on us; it happens to all of us. We get it when you aren't interested, at least, most of us do, because to us, rejection is a routine thing. It's women who have trouble understanding why a man loses interest.

How am I going to trust my dates going forward after this nonsense?

Easy. Be yourself, and do what you think is right so you can respect yourself no matter what happens. We cannot control other people's behavior. We can only control our own.

is something happening in our society that is making us more selfish and less concerned about the welfare of those around us?

What is more likely, is that if others have ghosted on US enough, we simply get tired of having to be the bigger person and dealing with the drama of 'Why don't you love me?'

I don't think ghosting would have occurred as frequently back in the day when the apparent choices offered by technology did not exist.

On the contrary, when there were fewer methods of contact, it was even easier to avoid it, so ghosting was pretty common. No text, no twitter, no facebook to find out what they're up to, no email, and if they didn't have an answering machine, perhaps no way to reach them at all unless you wanted to stalk them at work.

I've just re-read my original post and realised it wasn't clear - I was the one that broke it off with him because he was taking me for granted. I now think that he was hurt & has done this ghosting thing to punish me

Have to be careful, reading emotions into other people's behavior when you don't really know if it's there.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/10/2016 5:41:04 PM
Not necessarily damaged goods, but probably very picky. Any moderately attractive woman will have men interested in her. If she's here, it's more likely that she simply isn't thrilled with who's interested in her in the real world. Women are known to be way more selective than men. A documentary done a while back showed this to be true, women automatically rule out 80% of any give group of men. Men, OTOH, consider most women as potential dates. The documentary was done in Britain, but noted that similar results had shown up in the U.S.. Seems women will only date 'up'. And, as noted, usually don't even know what they want: "For every loser I've screamed at, there have been nice, normal single guys with perfectly acceptable ZIP codes and ages and jobs and habits who never did a thing wrong but for some reason were chucked after the first or second, or maybe even third, date for being boring, predictable, too nice, too normal, not successful enough, or . . . admitted to no one, perhaps not even myself: too available. The scariest of scary words."
From:
http://www.villagevoice.com/news/dear-single-women-of-nyc-its-not-them-its-you-6430067
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
60 Is The New 40
Posted: 5/3/2016 7:56:30 PM
I knew when I threw out the bait, there would be some 'you're just jealous because I'm in so much better shape than you are, in fact I'm in such great shape that I outfight/outrun/out do all the 20 year olds' responses from the chest thumpers. Just be careful getting off of your soapbox, gents, those 60 year old hips of yours aren't as flexible as they used to be. Besides, you're not competing with me; you're competing with younger guys who are healthier and will live longer than you will, and, most importantly, associate with other younger people. Nobody beats father time. Nobody. Father time is undefeated.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
 
SRT - Sitting Rising Test
Posted: 5/2/2016 12:39:51 AM
I never tire of listening to men talk of all the pushups they can do, run miles, how they're 'in the best shape of their lives' when they reach 60. As if that's somehow going to make them attractive to a 25 year old or something. Not going to happen. Or, are you getting in shape to join the army? Play in the NBA? Maybe start boxing or MMA? To what end? Nobody cares. No one wants to listen to you tell the world what a great 60 year old specimen you are, because in reality, no one cares. No one's looking for athletic 60 year olds, NO ONE. Even if you can out race a 35 year old out of shape guy. For those of you who wish to know, remember the sex and the city episode where Samantha took the bait of an old guy to take her to bed, and was mortified when she saw him from behind https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEmnoAXynbA (scroll to 2:50) . That's what women will see. It won't matter whether you're in shape. You still look like you're 60. Or more. You're not fooling anyone but yourself.

As far as 'old man smell', there's no such thing. The smell comes from NOT WASHING. Old men think that if they can't smell anything, then there's no smell there. Those men are wrong. As you age, your sense of smell declines, just like everything else. If you don't wash, you smell. When you were young, you took a shower every morning, and often every night if you were going out. Now you wash 'when you think you need to'. I'll bet every single guy here over 45 has multiple articles of clothing that they've worn but haven't washed; some, for 10 years of more (suits & sport jackets, light outdoor jackets, coats, raincoats, overcoats, sweaters, etc.) WASH THEM. Same with everything else in your house. Even dress shoes will develop a scent, so if they're old (and I bet they are, maybe even 20-30 years in many cases because men buy good 'dress' shoes and think as long as they aren't worn out, they're still good), they probably smell too. Carpets, furniture that you've had for 30 years, blankets, comforters, that mattress you've had for 25 years, THEY ALL SMELL and as you use them, YOU WILL TOO. Have an animal? Then your whole house probably smells (90% of people who own an animal cannot tell that their house smells). have acoustic tiles in your ceiling? They collect odors too. If they've been there for 20 years, they have a smell.

Most of us have been living in the same place, with the same stuff, and the same clothing, for decades. If necessary, have an objective person come in and tell you if your stuff, and your clothes, smell.

I'm not saying that we should all restrict ourselves to rocking chairs. But we should stop trying to fool ourselves into thinking that we look like anything but senior citizens to the younger people of the world. Women who watch 'Younger' love to believe that if you're 40 you can pass for 25. Doesn't happen. 20 somethings CAN tell the difference. YOU can't, because you don't want to. 60 isn't the new 40. It's the new 60. You know, where rich guys stole our pensions so we can't retire until we're 80. THAT new 60, unlike back when most 60 year olds had pensions to supplement social security.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 159 (view)
 
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 7:20:20 AM
I had a long post written, but basically it all winds up to this:
He's not impotent, as demonstrated by his first episode when he ejaculated too quickly. So, then, with performance anxiety now a problem, you're putting more pressure on him to perform.

That's not likely to work, and I would have thought that a nurse would understand that. And if you think that's going to be the answer every time it happens, you probably shouldn't be in a long term relationship. Just date, and move on when either you or the guy gets tired of the other....or if some guy has trouble getting it up, just let him know you tend to be very needy sex wise, and if he can't put up with that type of woman, you should part and go your separate ways. Honesty is the best policy, as always. You're physically attractive, and will do just fine on the one night stand circuit. Most men will be just fine with that if you are up front about it.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Men, I need your insight! Please!
Posted: 4/28/2016 6:35:17 AM
You've got your work cut out for you. First, your pictures don't show someone with body type 'a few extra pounds'. A few extra pounds is five to maybe ten pounds overweight. By putting yourself in the wrong body type group, men who find large women attractive won't even have you show up in their search.
So a guy who might find you appropriate as a life mate won't even know you're here.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What was/will be your divorce song?
Posted: 4/21/2016 5:08:57 PM
Carpenters, 'Goodbye to Love'. After getting burned for the last time, I finally realized that love wasn't in the cards. While there may always be a glimmer of hope, reality is, it's just not likely for me. Lyrics:
I'll say goodbye to love, No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it.
So I've made my mind up I must live my life alone
And though it's not the easy way I guess I've always known
I'd say goodbye to love.
There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for, something I could live for.
All the years of useless search have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can.
What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that
I've been wrong
But for now this is my song.
And it's goodbye to love
I'll say goodbye to love.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Why do middle age women still feel the need to be all kissy, huggy and feeling in a relationship
Posted: 3/28/2016 2:12:35 PM
I'm amazed that this is even a question. More interestingly, why is the need for physical affection still ignored by so many people? Affection deprivation causes all kinds of abberent feelings and can result in bizarre behavior.

HUG SOMEONE TODAY!
 
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